AUTHOR NOTE:
Holy shit you guys are so kind! THANK YOU SO MUCH for the amazing comments everyone has left and for all the energy you have put in to this. If you could, if you are posting as a guest, could you just pop a name in? I love to be able to reply to some comments so if I cant reply in a direct message, I can at least address you by name in my next author note. I nwas a little slow to get this update out because I have been working so much and its bled in to after hours, but I have a lot of public holidays coming up with Easter, so I promise that THIS update will be closely followed.
All of you had so many great ideas for Trevor and Olivia and also for the kids too - what are some activities youd like to see them navigate with their kids? Some solo hang outs with Noah and Trevor to cement their relationship? What do you think? I have a few things in mind for Ava and Liv. Do you think Trevor should be a little worried about how much his daughter clings to Olivia? Could that cause conflict?
WHAT DO YOU WANT TO SEE AS A READER? Honestly, I am probably going to create a poll next chapter, because I really want to write the story that you would like to read. OLIVIA DESERVES IT.
Should Elliot be seen a little more? Should there be more mentions of him? Friends or foes?
OK enjoy this. :) Hi-ho-hi-ho off to work I go. Dont forget to comment and I love you for it. HAVE A GREAT WEEK!
Trevor heard the front door slam from his office.
Ava was home. "Honey?," he called out. He got up and saw her bag sitting at the bottom of the stairs. She was early, she was supposed to be at dance for a last rehearsal.
He followed her up the stairs. "Ava?," he called out, "where are you?"
Her bedroom door was shut. He knocked twice. "Honey, why are you home so early?," he wondered. "Can I come in?"
"Suit yourself," she called back.
"What's wrong?," he wondered, "I thought you were going to dance?" He was confused, "what time are we meant to go tonight?"
"No time, we're not going. I'm not dancing."
"Wait, what happened?," he wanted to know. She looked like she had been crying but had composed herself. "Why not?"
"Because, I was replaced in the troupe and they voted for someone else to do the solo instead, so you guys can still go, I just won't be dancing or going myself," she shrugged.
"Ava, what do you mean you were replaced?," he wondered, "what happened? I don't understand."
"There's nothing to understand. I got replaced. I'm not good enough and I'm quitting dancing and I really don't want to talk about it."
"You're not quitting," he said, "but I realise that you're upset and that's fine. I'm gonna give you some time to calm down and then I want us to talk about it or else I'm going to call and speak to your dance teacher if you don't explain exactly what happened."
She groaned, "Please leave me alone."
He was irate but concerned. He left her to it and closed her bedroom door behind him. He went to message Olivia. "Hey baby, change of plans… come meet at our place but no need to dress up, apparently there's no recital and no, I have no idea what's happened, she won't talk to me."
He looked through the refrigerator for something to eat but decided that he'd be ordering in for dinner.
He heard his phone chime and he went back to his office to pick it up. "What!? That's crazy. Do you want me to try to talk to her when I get there?"
He was happy that she was still coming. He smiled, "Maybe… I told her that I want to know what happened or else I'll be talking to her dance teacher. She said she was replaced and her solo got given to someone else… Why must teenage girls be so closed off and moody?"
Olivia took a little while to reply back; he figured she was busy with Noah. He cleaned up a little around the apartment and was surprised to see Ava returning downstairs. He glanced up at her and went back to doing the dishes. He tried not to be too annoyed but without any explanation, he could't help but feel irate with his daughter.
"Are you mad at me?," she asked him in a small voice. He hadn't heard that vulnerability from her before; fear that he could suddenly hate her.
"I'm not mad, I'm upset that you won't just trust me and tell me what happened," he replied without turning around. "I'm trying so hard to understand."
Surprisingly him, he felt her arms around him from behind and her head resting against him. He let go of one of the morning dishes and wiped his hands on the dishtowel. He turned around to face his kid, wrapping his arms around her. He kissed the crown of her head. "Ava, please tell me what's going on, I'm really worried about you," he admitted softly.
"They don't like me anymore," she choked out.
"Who?" He couldn't imagine anyone just suddenly hating her; she was such a sweetheart and he knew she was a good friend — always going out of her way to do things for them that he knew probably wouldn't be a returned favour if in need.
"Rhiannon and the girls from dance. They voted me out and I don't want to go back there."
"Rhiannon?" He was shocked. "Did you have a fight?"
"No…" she shook her head, "they just don't like me…" she said with a shrug, "they just decided it overnight and I don't want to go back to dance, to swimming, to anything."
He hugged her close. "You're not going to give up the things that you love because someone decides they don't like you, honey, you are stronger than that… but I think tonight we can just have a chill night in and we can talk about it later."
"Can Liv and Noah still come?," she asked.
"Yeah… they're still coming, sweetie," he told her with a kiss on the forehead. He felt concerned for her and a few things started falling in to place. He really hoped he Olivia could get something out of her.
/
"Mom why isn't Ava dancing?" Noah whispered as they got close to the front door.
"I'm not sure babe," she replied, "but please don't ask any questions, okay? I think Ava's probably sad about it and won't want to talk about it."
"Okay," he agreed.
Once inside, Olivia greeted Trevor casually with a kiss and a hug and Noah did the same. Olivia smiled, loving the relationship that had quickly developed between the two. At 9, Noah was still pretty small for his age and loved the fact that Trevor would lift him with ease and carry him around with good humour.
"I see you got my brief, I'm very glad," he remarked, happy to see Olivia looking a little more casual than usual. "I thought we could lounge out with the kids and have some snacks and play some board games," he suggested.
"Isn't my Dad lame?" Ava asked with a little smile.
"Your Dad is not lame," Olivia replied with a laugh. Trevor just rolled his eyes.
"Yeah, Trevor isn't lame," added Noah a little defensively.
"Its okay, I can take it, I know Ava doesn't think I'm lame. I'll remind her of that next time she needs some money to go shopping," he smirked.
"Won't ever be leaving the house again, so you won't have to worry about that," she muttered.
Trevor and Olivia exchanged looks but both of them let it go.
"I ordered dinner," he announced "and I just need to go and pick it up so you guys know where the living room is, go hang out and I'll be about fifteen or so minutes."
"You should have told us, we could have picked it up on the way," Olivia frowned at him.
"Can I come with you?" Noah asked, wanting to hang out with his new favourite person. "I'll be super good."
Trevor glanced at Olivia for her permission. She saw it as an opportunity to speak with Ava about what had happened with dance. She shrugged.
"Of course you can come with me," Trevor told Noah, happy that his relationship was developing with Olivia's son. He had been shy the first few times they'd hung out and reluctant to look Trevor in the eye, but now they had bonded when he'd taken him to school and Olivia had told him that Noah had been asking about him non-stop.
"Don't drag your feet, okay?" Olivia told her son, kissing his cheek, "do everything that Trevor says or Mom will be really grumpy."
"We've got it, Liv, Noah will be fine," he smiled at her and kissed her cheek, "and you, little miss, can you get some plates out and set the table? Maybe you could get Liv a drink."
Ava rose an eyebrow, "I was actually thinking of telling Olivia to set the table and playing hot and cold to find her own drink, that could be fine, right, Liv?," she smirked at her Dad's girlfriend.
"Weird, I was thinking of putting you in a police strong hold until you cry uncle and agree to get me that drink," Olivia smiled back angelically, playing along with Trevor's daughter.
Trevor groaned. "Noah, we better go, Mom and Ava are gonna battle it out while we're gone." He glanced at the two ladies in his life and couldn't help but to grin knowing that Ava loved Olivia joking right back with her. "Enjooooyyyyyy girls."
Noah waved at them and they both left the apartment to get dinner.
/
"Trevor, how come Ava didn't dance tonight?" Noah asked, holding on to his hand. Trevor had to duck down a little to hear the small boy who walked a little slower due to his much shorter stride.
"Sorry champ, I can't hear you…" he pulled Noah aside and crouched down, "why don't I give you a piggy back, here… jump on."
Noah climbed on with a big grin and wrapped his arms and legs around Trevor. "Hold on, tight, it's a long way down!" Trevor warned him with a laugh, making sure he was secure before standing up straight, holding on to Noah's arms around him.
"Did you ask me why Ava wasn't dancing?," he checked with Noah.
"Yeah, I was excited to see her dance," he remarked, "but Mom told me not to ask her," he admitted.
"Its okay to ask, but I think Ava is upset. Her dance class had to change some things around and unfortunately it meant that there was no room for her tonight," he explained.
"But why? Were the other dancers better?," Noah pushed, "because Ava was so good!"
"I know, I agree with you, I don't agree with her dance class, but Ava and I will figure that out another day, maybe you can give her a hug later, I'm sure she will appreciate that," he smiled at the sweetness of the little boy.
/
"I know what you're gonna do and I know what Dad's doing too," Ava said casually as Olivia took a stack of plates to the dining table, helping her set everything.
Olivia laughed, amused. "What am I trying to do?," she wondered.
"Dad took Noah so you could talk to me about what happened in my dance class," she replied, avoiding Olivia's eyes as she took some drinking glasses down.
"Actually, Noah asked to go with your Dad, I didn't put him up to it, I didn't even know your Dad had ordered dinner or would have to go pick it up, so… this isn't orchestrated to extricate information out of you, honey."
Ava stopped and sighed, dropping her shoulders. "Good."
"But if you want to tell me what happened, maybe I can help, but I understand if you want to keep it to yourself."
Trevor's daughter finished setting the table and went around to the counter and sat down. She felt an inch from tears all afternoon since she had been kicked out of her dance group, since she'd found the stupid words on her locker.
"Its okay, girls can be really horrible, I used to get bullied at school, so trust me, I know what it's like," Olivia took a seat beside her.
"Why did you get bullied?" Ava asked, looking up, glum and down in the dumps over the constant battle with the other girls at school since they'd found out.
"Because my Mom didn't have a lot of money and I could never hang out with anyone, I was too afraid to bring anyone to my house. We could barely afford my text books and uniforms and one time I thought I'd made a good friend so I dared to bring her home and she saw how we lived — my Mom liked to drink… and she went to school and told everyone and I was an outsider forever."
Ava frowned. "How did you deal with them?"
Olivia shrugged, thinking back to how awful school had been. "I think it made me determined not to let them win. I deserved an education as much as they did. I deserved to be part of my swim team because I was good and I was lucky that my teachers looked out for me."
"My swim coach asked to meet with me tomorrow," Ava admitted. "I'm scared I'm gonna get kicked off the team."
"Why don't you ask your Dad to go with you," Olivia suggested, "it might help."
She shook her head, "he has enough to worry about, this is all so stupid."
Olivia realised that under the sarcasm, the dry wit, the maturity and the cool, calm exterior was just a little girl who wanted so much to be comforted and unburned by whatever had gone on. She felt for her and could relate to her in a way. Despite having a supportive father, being a teen was a hard job too and there were just things that both she and Ava knew Trevor wouldn't entirely understand.
"Do you feel comfortable enough to talk about any of it with your Mom?," Olivia asked her, but she already knew the answer — if Ava was comfortable enough to discuss things with her mother, she would have already.
"No, my Mom doesn't give a fuck about me."
"Language," Olivia warned her without any hint of judgement in her tone. "I'm sure your Mom does care, maybe for whatever reason she can't be there for you right in this moment. I'm not your Mom, but you can talk to me, about anything, okay?"
"You'll just run back and tell my Dad," she muttered, wiping her eyes. She knew she was going to start crying and she was embarrassed but she knew that Olivia didn't mind. Olivia's tone was soft and gentle and warm and she missed the comfort of someone motherly. It had been a long time and she had been holding a lot back.
"I'm going to be very honest with you, sweetheart, because I don't want to misplace your trust before we even get to that space in our relationship," she started, "If I think your Dad needs to know something, I will tell him. Or, if I think you need to tell him something, I will probably give you the chance to tell him." She lifted Ava's hand and gave it a squeeze, "and if you need me to help you talk to your Dad about anything, I'm happy to."
"Thanks Liv…" Ava uttered in a barely audible voice. She was worried that she might begin to cry.
"Do you want to tell me what happened at dance?" Olivia started from scratch. The tears fell from Trevor's daughter's eyes and streamed down her cheeks. The young girl didn't bother wiping them. She bowed her head, ashamed and embarrassed. Olivia reached up and stroked her hair out of her face. She hadn't had any experience with teen girls in a personal way; only victims, but it came to her naturally. She aimed to be the comfort to Ava that she had keenly yearned for when she was entering in to her teens.
"I just went in to practice and my dance teacher and the team pulled me aside and said that they voted unanimously not to keep my solo part in because it didn't give everyone the same chance to shine, but I know that's not the reason."
"What do you think the reason is?" Olivia probed gently.
"Rhiannon, my bestfriend—" she paused, "former best friend told everyone that I was gay."
"Oh," Liv hated the girls that she went to school with for ostracising her. "Why is that a problem for them?," she wanted to know.
Ava lifted her head to look at Olivia and found nothing on her face that showed surprise or disgust or anything but concern. "Because I like other girls, not boys…" she explained slowly to the woman that her father was dating.
Olivia cracked a smile. "I know what gay means, Ava, I'm asking why Rhiannon, as your best friend would find it such a big deal."
"No one at our school is gay and I told her in secret because I needed to tell someone other than my Mom because it was killing me and both of them hate me because of it. Rhiannon told everyone and she told them that I said I had a crush on her and a don't!"
"I'm so sorry that happened, Ava," Olivia apologised. "You know this is not on you, right?," she asked her. Ava pushed her blond hair out of her face. Olivia stood up from the stool she was sitting on at the kitchen counter and moved closer to the young girl. "Oh, honey, this is not about you, this is about them and their own stupid fears of what they don't know or feel or even understand."
Realising that Ava was about to come apart, she wrapped her arms around her. "I feel like nobody loves me anymore and I don't know how to make the feelings go away," she admitted as her voice broke with a sob.
"What feelings? The feelings you have toward other girls who you might like?," Olivia wanted to be sure she had clarified what Ava meant.
"Yeah, I don't know how to make it go away, I just want to be normal, just like everyone else. I just feel alone."
"Oh, my love you are definitely not alone and you are normal and your feelings and desires — they are so normal, I promise," Olivia told her, drawing her close to her, stroking her hair. "Your Dad is with you and I'm always here for you too. I know things feel really confusing right now and you don't want to worry him, but he's worried about you every day the same way I am for Noah, that's our job…" she kissed her temple.
The front door opened and Noah bounded in, halting when he realised that Ava was crying and his Mom was teary-eyed; an empath who felt the weight of Trevor's daughter's pain.
Ava pulled away and wiped her eyes and looked up at her Dad guiltily, her face scarlet as though she had done something wrong.
Trevor set dinner down on the dining table without a word. "I'm gonna go to my room,"
"No, Ava…" Trevor said softly, "don't run away from me, it's okay to be upset, kiddo, you had a crappy thing happen today, you don't have to be embarrassed."
Trevor and Olivia exchanged looks. He saw a film of water covering her eyes and couldn't help but feel his heart soar when he realised how far her empathy extended - for her to care so much about the person who was most important in his life. Noah hovered a little uncomfortably, looking worried.
"I feel stupid," Ava muttered, sitting up a bit straighter. She wiped her eyes and pulled away from Olivia slowly, her face hot and red from her crying. Olivia took a step back and took her hot cheeks in her hands and gave her a little smile. "You have every right to be upset, Ava, what happened wasn't fair and nobody is going to take away the things in your life that bring you joy, okay?" She asked her, wiping fresh tears away.
Ava nodded and sniffed, looking in to Olivia's eyes.
"I know your Dad won't let that happen, will you, Dad?" Olivia asked Trevor with a smile.
"Absolutely not, never, not in this world and not in any world," he replied. He stroked his daughter's hair and leaned over to kiss her.
Olivia looked down to see that Noah had moved in closer with trepidation. "I'm sorry you're sad, Ava," he said softly. Ava cleared her throat and glanced at Noah. She did her best to smile even though she felt rotten.
"Thanks, Noah," she murmured.
Without a word, he went to hug her. Ava just loved Olivia's little boy and she had already decided that she loved Olivia too. She reciprocated Noah's hug as Trevor and Olivia exchanged little smiles.
"Why don't you go upstairs and wash your face and get changed out of your school clothes and ready for dinner, honey and we can talk later when you're ready," Trevor told his daughter gently, touching her arm.
She let go of Noah and nodded at her Dad trying her very best not to cry again.
"Noah, come and wash your hands for dinner," she showed her son to the small toilet and sink just in a small alcove downstairs between the living room, kitchen and Trevor's office, she rustled his hair and gave him a little pat on the back, grateful for him being such a sweet little soul.
Olivia met Trevor back in the kitchen. "Fuck," he murmured quietly, "I'm so sorry, Liv…"
"No," she shook her head, "don't be sorry, oh my goodness…" she slid her arms around his waist realising just how concerned he was. "She has a lot on her shoulder's Trev and I know she is holding a lot in…" Olivia told him.
"What happened?," he wanted to know, "with her friends — with dance?"
"Homophobia happened or at least … worried about being ostracised for being friends with the girl who likes girls," Olivia looked up to make sure the kids weren't in earshot.
"Are you fucking kidding me?," he hissed, "she's fourteen, how do they even know? Do you think she told them?"
"She told Rhiannon because she said she needed to tell someone who wasn't her Mom because I don't think the reaction from her Mom was what she needed to hear."
"I wish she'd just come to me…" he sighed.
"I know and she will, but… she she trusted her friend and at her age, you really think you can trust your friends — but teenage girls…" Liv shook her head. "Just give her time to open up, and keep pushing, Trev…"
He hugged Olivia close and rested his cheek upon her head, letting her comfort him. He was so glad that she was in his life and he felt so close to her and so thankful. "Thanks for being so wonderful," he broke the embrace, hearing Noah coming back. He kissed her forehead. Olivia reluctantly let go of him as her son came in to view.
"Are you ready to eat?" Trevor asked Noah.
He nodded, "but I don't want everyone to be sad, I want to cheer Ava up," he said softly, looking a little subdued.
"Ava will be fine and I am sure will all do a fantastic game of cheering her up, I'm sure your big hug made her feel a lot better," Trevor replied with an encouraging smile.
/
"Guess what I have!" Ava announced to Noah, feeling a lot better since having a fun dinner with her Dad and Olivia and Noah.
"What?" Noah asked curiously, looking up at her with interest. "I an xBox with the camera and the dance games."
"Wow!" Olivia remarked, sitting on the couch with Trevor after they'd played a few games of Pictionary with them. "That'll be fun, right Noah?"
He nodded excitedly.
Trevor smiled. He was happy to see both kids in better spirits and everything felt so easy and smooth with everyone. "Why don't I move the coffee table out of the way and you can bring it down here so you guys have more space," he suggested.
The Xbox was in a room that used to be his daughter's toy room. She had outgrown it and since moving in, it had the things that she couldn't fit in her actual space.
"Turns out we might get a dance recital after all and we don't have to sit through everyone else to see our most favourite performers!" Olivia grinned at the two kids.
Ava smiled back at her. She turned to Noah, "Come upstairs and help me grab all the things…"
"Okay," he followed her quickly, racing back out of the living room.
Trevor turned to Olivia, he held a glass of wine in his hand and she had her own too. They shared a smile before she leaned in to kiss his lips that were stained a little pink with wine. "This is nice…" she murmured, "all this hanging out," she placed her free hand on his warm, hard chest. "I know its so new but…"
"I like it…" he said softly, "its honestly been the most amazing part of my day, seeing you, seeing Noah — watching you with Ava…" he let out a little sigh and leaned in for another kiss. He ran his fingers through her wavy hair. "And you look so beautiful and casual…" his eyes fell over her light-weight black lounge pants and matching top. She wasn't even wearing any make up, save for traces of eyeliner around her eyes that she had missed when removing it.
"I like seeing you casual too," she replied, he was in some grey sweats that he changed in to right before dinner and a plain white t-shirt. "And you still smell amazing," she added, kissing him and letting her lips graze over his mouth for a moment, enjoying the closeness. She closed her eyes for a second to lean her forehead against his as if she was trying to steel herself.
He lifted his chin slightly, nudging her gently with his nose so that his lips could align perfectly against hers. Her mouth was slightly parted and she welcomed the tip of his tongue upon hers. It was so brief and light and enough to make the hairs on the back of her neck stand on end.
"I actually did something that I hope you're okay with today," he announced as he slowly withdrew.
"I think I would be okay with anything you did right this second," she laughed giddily.
"I booked a room for us on Saturday night… and I thought on sunday after we check out, we could take the kids and do something really fun, what do you think?"
Olivia grinned at him. "I already booked Lucy in tentatively, so…. I'm all yours."
"Oooft, I can't wait," he told her, grabbing for her hand, looking down at her fingers sliding between his. "I don't even care what we do, I just wanna be alone with you. I'll take you somewhere special for dinner and we can have some drinks at a hotel bar and then lay about together…"
"Stop…." Olivia's eyes fell closed at the idea of being next to naked with him, holding his body against hers in the night. She thought of his lips and hands all over her. She was warming up but maybe it was partially the wine clouding up her mind.
The kids footsteps drew near and Olivia created some distance. Trevor caught a knowing smile pass between Noah and Ava. They both started giggling.
"What's so funny?," he asked.
Ava smirked and and glanced at Noah. He looked at his Mom and at Trevor. "Noooothiiing," he lied.
"Something is funny," Olivia insisted, sipping her wine, "you better sing like a canary, little boy," she teased her son, always using the same line when she wanted him to tell her something.
"I told Ava that I knew you would kiss Trevor when we left the room," his cheeks flushed red and he tried to hide the smile but he grinned and his dimples showed and caused Trevor and Olivia to chuckle.
"How do you know that happened, were you both spying?," she pressed.
"No, gross." Ava replied quickly, scowling.
"Can you just leave us alone?" Trevor asked her with a laugh. "Stop being mean," he added.
Ava said nothing and nudged Noah along to the TV to set up the xBox. "Mom are we going home tonight?"
Olivia laughed, "Of course we're going home tonight! Where else would we be going?," she asked, amused.
Trevor nearly choked.
"I think Dad would love a sleep over, wouldn't you, Dad?" Ava asked over her shoulder as she connected the TV up.
"Ava," he warned her. "That's enough. You both have school tomorrow and we both have a hard enough time getting you both up, right, Liv?"
"Bingo. We are leaving at 8:30 and then you are going to bed at 9 just like always, kiddo," Olivia told Noah.
Trevor handed Olivia his wine glass and got himself up off of the couch. "Let me move this out of the way for you guys…" he nodded toward the coffee table. It looked heavy.
"Do you need some help?" Liv asked.
He glanced at her and cocked his head to the side as if he couldn't believe she even asked. He picked it up and moved it across to the side of the room out of the way affording the kids way more space.
She smiled as they switched the game on and Ava explained to Noah how to play. She was patient with him despite his excitement and eagerness and Olivia knew that despite Ava's bravado she was the sweetest and caring kid who used her humour as a defence because she had a lot of hurt below the surface.
Olivia hoped that with her new arrangement living with Trevor, that would start to peel away slowly but surely.
"They're pretty good at this," Trevor remarked quietly to Liv, watching them both dance along with the game, giggling and laughing and pushing each other trying to throw the other one off their scores.
"Okay, we're far too old for this," he announced, "Liv and I are gonna go sit in the kitchen."
"Probably to kiss," Noah said loudly to Ava and they both started to laugh.
"Little brat!" Olivia muttered to Trevor.
"I'm so sorry, Ava is rubbing off on him. I'll talk to her about it," he promised as they decided to ignore them, leaving them to their device.
"Its okay," she laughed, "but I guess I'm just very aware of Noah getting it in to his head that we're together."
"Wait, we're not … together?" Trevor teased, pulling a chair out for her at the table. She set her wine glass down. He grabbed the bottle and set it down too, refilling both of the glasses.
She rose her eyebrow at him, she seemed a little lost for words.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to put you on the spot, I know you-" he paused, "I just was-"
"I'm not seeing anyone else, Trevor," she told him simply, if only to extinguish the awkwardness that suddenly filled the air. "But… in a month you might find me really annoying and I don't want Noah to get his heart broken so… I still have so many reservations."
He nodded slowly, digesting the information. "I get it, I know your fears, on one hand when I came in and saw you cuddling my daughter, my heart simultaneously melted and … I'm being really honest, I felt anxious too because I know how much she likes you and already she talks about you all the time."
Olivia smiled. "I know… I guess neither of us can go back now… we might end up just having to get married and seeing out the future if only because we can't split those two up now?" She was joking and he knew it, but the idea of merging their families was scarily nice.
He chuckled. "Fine by me…"
She smirked at him as she took a mouthful of her wine. "Let's just see how the weekend goes, huh?"
He reached over and took her hand. "I can't kiss you now fully knowing we have two little smart-alecks in there who are counting on us making out," he laughed.
"Kind of put a wet blanket over it," she agreed.
"Its alright, the weekend will make up for it," he promised.
/
"I was starting to think we'd have to cancel," Trevor sighed with relief. Olivia smiled at him and shook her head.
"No way, we're not canceling. Lucy is looking forward to it and I know Noah certainly is," she said with a little shrug.
"Did you tell Noah you had to go for work?" Trevor wondered, wanting to keep their story straight.
"Yeah, I told him I had to give a talk in Jersey and it was going to be too late to come home. I told him it was at a function that you organised so we're just taking the train together."
Trevor chuckled. "I don't think Ava bought that story when I tried to sell it to her, but it's what I'm sticking to."
They quickly halted their conversation as Ava came down the stairs carrying a backpack. "I still don't get why you can't just let me stay here on my own," she complained with a sigh. But, she understood and truthfully, Ava was a little excited about getting to go to Olivia's house and spend the night there with Noah.
"Because you're 14 and Casi is busy and unfortunately for you that means you are too young to stay at home overnight," Trevor replied firmly.
"What if on my walk to Olivia's I get kidnappe-" she knew she was pushing Trevor's buttons and sometimes he didn't care, but she could tell by his expression that he wasn't amused.
"Don't even joke about something like that," he snapped, "Olivia, tell her why it's not funny-" he glanced at Olivia and nodded at his daughter, irate.
"I don't think I need to tell Ava why that's not funny," she replied glancing between them both, "I think she can figure it out."
"Sorry," Ava replied, realising that Olivia would have seen some serious things that would not have made kidnapping at all funny to her. "Sorry, Olivia," she said quickly.
"Its okay but your Dad just wants to keep you safe and so do I… if you're worried about walking to my apartment, we can take you," she offered.
"No, its alright, I was being stupid," Ava replied, her cheeks red and her face heated up. She made her way to her Dad and gave him a hug. "Have a good time in New Jersey at work," she told him.
He ignored her, "thanks sweetie," he replied, kissing her forehead. "Have a great time with Noah and Lucy and I'll be back before lunch. Liv should be back before me," he told her, pulling away.
"Okay," Ava turned to Olivia. "Bye Liv," she hugged her.
Olivia smiled and gave her a squeeze. "Bye honey, you did so good at your swim meet this morning, you should be really proud of yourself despite all the other distractions."
"Thanks," Ava smiled.
"Text us when you get to my apartment. Lucy is going to meet you downstairs," Olivia told her.
Ava opened up the front door and turned back to Olivia, "Have a good time guys, remember Olivia, no glove, no love!"
"AVA!" Trevor rolled his eyes and sighed.
Olivia smirked at his daughter, "Thanks Ava, I'll be sure to remember that…"
"And no matter what Dad tells you he definitely doesn't have an allergy to latex!," she added, relishing her father's annoyance and discomfort at her teasing them both.
"Ava Langan!" Trevor rose his voice.
"I'm so glad you're listening in sex ed and that you're learning important lessons, just remember kiddo, if you ever want to discuss sex or protection with your Dad or I, we're always here for you."
"Liv! Oh my goodness, both of you!"
"That's gross, I'm outta here, byeee!" Ava called over her shoulder, closing the door behind her.
"How the fuck do I stop her doing that?!" Trevor asked after the door closed.
"By doing what I just did," Olivia smiled, "see how quickly she scurried off? Trevor she only continues because it shocks you every time that she makes a comment like that. Start calling her bluff and she will feel uncomfortable."
He laughed with resignation and shook his head. "She makes my head spin. One minute I have the sweetest kid in the universe and five minutes later she's full of attitude and this almost mean streak of wit," he vented, looking at Olivia, "and I can't figure out which version of her I'm going to get at any given time."
"I actually just think that she's warming up to you… she's figuring out her boundaries," Olivia suggested.
He agreed. He drew in a deep breath and finally smiled. "Do you hear that?," he looked around at the roof as if there was a noise that he couldn't quite place his finger on.
"What?" Olivia asked, slightly alarmed.
He grinned at her. "Silence. Just you and I, no kids…" he chuckled watching the concern fall away from her face as her lips turned up in to a knowing smile.
"Let me just go upstairs and get my bag and we can go get a cab to the hotel," he said, "we can drop our bags and do whatever you wish…" he leaned forward and planted a brief kiss on her lips. She went to lean in to it but he grinned and pulled back. "Don't be too eager, detective," he teased.
"Oh," she raised her eyebrow, "that's the game you want to play?," she laughed, "okay, I will remember that."
He laughed over his shoulder as he disappeared upstairs.
/
Trevor spared no expense and Olivia could tell. She looked around the huge room that overlooked Manhattan and smiled. She drew in a deep breath and exhaled slowly. As she glanced at the California King Sized bed she was suddenly full of anxiety and nervousness.
The room was beautiful and decadent and waiting for them was a bucket of ice with a chilled bottle of wine and a cheese platter with compliments from the hotel.
"Wow…" she murmured as she looked around. "Trevor… this is really lovely, thanks…"
She turned to face him. He looked nervous too, he was waiting for a reaction with clammy palms and a feeling of slight inadequacy — as if she might not like the room, or it wasn't up to her standard. "Is it okay?," he asked carefully.
"Is it okay?," she repeated, "Love, this is so beautiful, I feel … really spoiled," she admitted. "This is a lot."
"Really?," he asked feeling relief as he got a little closer to her. She was still pivoting around, taking in the expanse of the room. "Are you sure?"
"Trev…" she laughed, advancing closer to him, "baby, it's so beautiful," she insisted, "this was so kind of you, I seriously…" she shook her head with disbelief, "well— no one's ever put this much effort in for me," she slid her hands over his hips and looked up at his tall presence that overcame her.
He seemed confused momentarily; "what do you mean?"
She smiled up in to those beautiful pale-green orbs that searched hers, "I mean, this is probably the nicest thing a guy has ever done for me… I am a little— overwhelmed," she admitted.
"I'm so sorry about that… but I'm so happy that you like this— I didn't know if it was enough but it's all I could book on such short notice."
"Trevor," she started again, "this is perfect, stop it… you're making me feel embarrassed."
He rested his hands on her shoulders. "Well, I thought… we could just enjoy the balcony and have a glass of wine or two, hang out… I have a booking for dinner and then we can go back to the dessert spot if you'd like and have a few drinks or — the hotel bar here is pretty amazing."
Olivia grinned at him, loving that he took charge and didn't wait for her to come up with an idea. She hated having to always be the person to organise everything and to take charge when she wanted things done. "I love it! That sounds amazing!"
"Liv…" Trevor took one step closer, closing any distance between them that remained.
"Yes?"
"Let's pour that wine and go sit on the balcony because I am so nervous," he chuckled in spite of himself, "I like you so much and I have never felt this anxious over a woman in my life… so I know this is special."
His words made her throat a little dry. "Why do I feel the same?," she asked. "Why is this so intense?" The question was rhetorical because he'd just answered it only seconds earlier. She reached up, taking his cheeks in her hands, using her thumb to stroke the light stubble that lined his face in what could only be described as a shadow. He was so handsome that she could hardly believe that he liked her. She let out a breath as she studied him— the intensity burned hot between them and Trevor loved it as much as she did, but she made him forget his words; his senses; his ability to stop his racing heart and his racing mind.
So many what-ifs with their kids involved and yet despite constantly telling each other they had to be careful with Noah and Ava; neither had been careful and they had both been involved with one another's children since they started seeing one another romantically.
Fuck it, he thought. He drew in a deep breath and kissed her. "This is headed in a good place," he murmured.
"Us?," she asked.
He nodded.
She recaptured the kiss and felt his tongue probing her mouth. She welcomed it, feeling the hair on her arms stand to attention. It was a relief not to have to cut something short on the off chance a child's prying eyes might be coming just around the corner.
She could hear nothing just the sounds of their kissing and the heavy breathing between one another. His hands were stationery upon her waist and she could feel the nervous energy that passed between them both. It was exciting but also a little off-putting and she knew that they both needed a few drinks to wind down a little.
Trevor pulled away first, reaching up to caress her hair.
"Come on, let's get that wine…" she suggested.
He smiled and kissed her one last time before he let go to grab the wine.
/
"How are you feeling?" Trevor asked. He held out his hand as they both lay on their respective wicker deck chairs. Propped up in to half-laying half-sitting position, Olivia sipped her second glass of wine and obliged.
"Less nervous," she chuckled. Her face was hot from the alcohol and empty stomach and they'd spent a little while discussing the kids and what to do about Ava's situation at school. Trevor wanted to focus a little more on putting out the awkwardness. He started to think maybe he'd read too much in to things, that maybe time alone was awkward and that they did between when they had the kids around as a social buffer — maybe it wasn't as romantic as he thought.
The anxiousness dissipated though when he saw her half-smirk. "Wanna come and share this deck chair with me?," he asked sweetly. He desperately wanted to be close with her.
She didn't answer with her words, but she sat up slowly and placed her wine glass down on the small table between them. "Do you think there's room?," she teased.
"I'll make room for you…" he shifted over and allowed Olivia to slide up along side him; both of them shifting around until they were comfortable. He couldn't help but to grin, loving how close she was. He slid an arm around her waist.
"This is the first time we've been horizontal together…" his voice trailed off as if it were an occasion worth documenting. She smiled at him and encircled her arms around his neck and pulled him closer. Trevor got in close, hovering over her.
His lips lips covered hers completely. Olivia started to relax a little as she kissed him back. He slid his hands up to her shoulders. He drew away from her lips but as if he threw caution to the wind, he recaptured it just seconds later.
His mouth was like velvet against hers. She moaned softly against him as she felt him slide his arms around her, holding her firmly as he settled back in to the deck chair, bringing her with him.
Olivia's hands gripped him a little tightly. Once they settled in together comfortably; kissing and and holding one another, he smoothed his hand from her shoulder down her bare arm, skipping its way to her side, steadying her as his lips parted her mouth.
Trevor felt so good and so wanted as his tongue found hers. He felt Olivia's body react instantly and she pulled his body closer as though she craved the closeness while she allowed his tongue more room to fully enter her mouth.
The kissing grew more intense; still slow and tender but with a little more urgency - his tongue tracing circles around hers. He became acutely aware of her his against his. Olivia was out of breath but she didn't care and all Trevor could respond to were her soft whimpers. He closed his lips, ending the kiss briefly but couldn't hold himself back. He kissed her again, harder and more urgently and Olivia couldn't ignore his growing erection pressed against her.
Again, he closed off the kiss and drew away slightly.
"Kissing you feels so right..," she whispered as though he had quite literally taken her breath away.
He smiled and thumbed at the corner of her mouth; a tiny little bit of moisture from their kisses had left a little trace. He glanced at her and briefly kissed her again. He let out a sigh which felt like relief. "You feel so right…" he murmured.
"So don't stop," she replied.
He looked in to her eyes, searching them; trying to read what she was thinking. He traced the frame of her face for the moment before he gave her a brief smile; filled with so much adoration for her. He realised all the second guessing earlier had been anxiety and not much else.
He pressed his lips back against hers before moving the soft, lingering and warm kisses from her mouth to her cheeks, to her eyelids, her temple and all the way down until he reached her the soft part of her flesh just beneath her. She arched her back in to his and pushed her pelvis against him, eliciting a groan from the back of his throat.
She sighed with delight as she tilted her head to the side, giving more space for his mouth to find its way around the spot that drove her the most crazy. He caught the shell of her ear between his lips before giving it a playful tug with his teeth. He heard the sweet sound of her laughter but couldn't ignore the way gooseflesh rose to the surface of her skin. He continued to kiss her, grazing his lips back over the sensitive spot that had garnered the strongest physical reaction from her.
Olivia was intoxicated and blind with lust; she couldn't even remember the last time anyone had kissed her so intimately and it was a rushed attempt to get in to her pants.
"Fuck…" she cursed feeling Trevor's tongue working on her flesh behind her ear. She reached for his hand, feeling a moment of insecurity. She laced her fingers through his and squeezed his hand. She felt him squeeze back.
His mouth traveled down toward her collarbone to the tank that she was wearing and nosed it out of the way. Olivia helped by shrugging it off her shoulder. She wondered if he could feel the thundering of her heart hammering against her chest with desire and intention and probably more than anything, nervousness.
Trevor searched for the hem of her tank and slipped his hand beneath the fabric. His fingertips barely made contact with her naked flesh beneath it and she could barely control herself; his touch was driving her crazy. She felt his large hand settling just beneath her breast while his mouth kissed down until he met with the fabric of her bra cup.
He pulled away; breathless and more than just a little aroused. He could feel her trembling just slightly as he began a series of long, wet kisses that he laid open-mouthed over her exposed flesh, not wanting to stretch her shirt.
Olivia's eyes fell shut as she felt his hand covering her breast. She moaned in to his mouth, unable to control herself as he gave her ample, handful of flesh a gently squeeze. He knew she was nervous, he could feel it just much as he could feel how badly they craved one another — but it was hard to ignore.
He pulled away and let his hand lay stationary over her. "Is this okay?," he asked. "Are you okay?" He didn't think that she wasn't okay, but he never wanted to assume.
She nodded, "Yeah… I'm just…" she paused, "I'm just nervous but I promise I am very in to this."
"Its okay, there's plenty of time…" he smiled. She reached down and covered his hand over the top of her shirt. She smiled back at him and initiated a soft kiss.
"I'm crazy about you…" she admitted and he was so happy to hear it — he had wondered and he knew she sometimes didn't express herself as directly as he did.
"I'm crazy about you," he replied and kissed her back. "But….I really don't want you to be so nervous that you're trembling," he told her, caressing her hair, finding his way down her arm to link his fingers within hers, deciding to cool things down. "It's just me, you know me…"
"I know," she averted her eyes, "exposing myself to someone all over again —" she paused, "it's … a whole thing."
"You mean, physically?," he wondered, trying to understand where she was coming from. He knew there was some baggage; hell, he also had baggage, but her physical reaction quelled his desire for more; he needed to make sure that she was truly fine.
Olivia managed a laugh, "no… I mean, kind of," she chuckled again in spite of herself, "I guess…" she tried to think about how to best answer his question. She could feel his hand in her hair caressing her, "I guess that I feel like it gets to the crux of a relationship — a fork in the road for me, do I pursue this or do I bow out—" she swallowed the feeling of nausea at being so brutally honest. "And every single time I've let my heart go stupid, every time I've chosen to pursue something and have taken that leap, it's blown up in my face."
"I get it…" he said slowly. And he did get it. "Trust takes time-"
"But look," she insisted, "I knew Elliot Stabler for over ten years and I trusted him implicitly and even he couldn't stick around. He knew how much I was hurting, he had to have," she looked away, "and not even romantically, he was my family —" she glanced up at Trevor, trying so hard to not become emotional or shut down her feelings as quickly as she'd began sharing them, "he was actually my next of kin on all of my official documents," she added, embarrassed, "and he kept in contact with Cragen and I can't fucking tell you how personal that feels; how I wondered if it was me and now it's been confirmed."
"I'm really sorry," Trevor said softly. In his eyes, Elliot Stabler was a dick; for all the reasons he'd ever felt, but more mostly because of the way Olivia suffered. "That sounds like Elliot was the one with the issues though, Olivia — you're not hard to fall in love with, you're the sort of person everyone wants to be around."
"Then why does nobody stay?," she asked him pointedly, staring in to his eyes.
Trevor squeezed her hand; he felt his breath hitch when he noticed her glassy eyes. He let go and slipped his arms around her, adjusting himself slightly so that he could hold her against him firmly. He felt her head relaxing against his shoulder. "I'm not going anywhere. I know you'll take awhile to accept that and to believe it, but I would never have let my daughter hang out with us if I truly believed there would be an end to any of this."
"Thanks…" she murmured, slipping an arm over his stomach, cozying in to his chest. She had to admit, his arms afforded her a kind of safety that she hadn't felt for awhile. She let a slow breath out as she felt his lips gracing the smooth plains of her forehead. "I think I've fallen in love with Ava," she admitted with a little smile.
"What?" She felt his chest rise and fall with laughter, "no, Liv, you're supposed to fall in love with me first then my kid."
She reached up to his cheek, cupping it in her soft hands and lifted her chin to look up at him. He noticed a hint of a smile adorning her sweet, pink mouth and his stomach flip-flopped because she knew there was more to her silence; she didn't want to verbalise her feelings for the fears she had just shared; but it was there, plain as daylight - the adoration for him was filling her face.
He kissed her mouth. "I feel the same," he whispered between kisses.
"Yeah?," she confirmed. He nodded, letting a smile creep across his mouth.
"It's only second date; I feel crazy," she admitted.
"Second date but almost ten years of friendship," he reminded her, "at least three or four of those years has been me looking for an event to invite you to that wouldn't require your entire squad to turn up to make it a work thing," he chuckled.
"Fuck…" the word flew out of her mouth with the realisation that he'd liked her for a long time. "Really?"
He chuckled, "Yeah. Remember when Noah was about 6, you had a meeting with the adoption associates to do a welfare check?," he reminded her.
She knew exactly what day he was talking about— it had been the final check at five years with her son. "Yeah, I remember that."
"I took you and Noah for coffee and brunch so we could all just breath a sigh of relief and we walked and talked the whole way, nonstop — I saw you as a person and not as a detective and I've had a really fucking big crush on you ever since," he laughed.
"I wish you'd said something…" she smiled, "I'd have gone on a date with you."
He shrugged, "Maybe the timing wouldn't have been right," he admitted, "but now… this is right, I may or may not be falling in love and the more kindness and heart you show for my daughter is the deeper that I fall."
Olivia smiled at him.
"I loved when you took Noah to school and saw his Student of The Month thing, that was everything," she admitted, "Noah talked about it for days — and he loves coming over to your place because you guys have the x-box and because Ava is absolutely so patient and kind to him and because he loves having another male around who makes time for him."
Trevor laughed, feeling sweetened by her words, "I don't think I quite realised how intelligent Noah was until I took him to school but you've kept him as he should be; he's still a little boy and totally unruined by technology and things that are beyond his years…" he paused, "and that's one thing that Sarah and I have always been on board with together — not letting Ava succumb to having a cell phone with her 24/7, not letting her have private access to a computer save for school and she totally handles it well…"
"That's why she's such a dedicated athlete."
Trevor nodded. "I love your kid and …" he smiled, "you know what I wanna say, right?"
"Yeah," she said softly, "but let's not say it yet…"
"Okay," he agreed. "We'll save it for when you think you're ready to hear the words."
"Thanks Trevor," Olivia said sincerely, circling an arm around his neck, reaching up to run her fingers through his thick and slightly greying hair. He leaned in to it and drew her closer to him. He closed his eyes savouring the moment. He realised it was the first time they'd ever laid together in an embrace.
"You don't have to thank me, I told you that I don't have any expectation of you and I mean it, I am actually really enjoying our first ever embrace like this…"
He felt her laughter against him. "You're the ultimate gentleman, Trev."
He couldn't describe how good it felt to have her flanked against him— one arm draped across his waist, her hand gripping his back, holding him as her other hand was playing with his hair. The affection was a relief; such a sweet, long-awaited relief. He had waited a long time to find the perfect moment to ask Olivia out. He had waited painfully for her relationships to come and go and never truly believed that he would have a chance with her.
"Can I admit something to you?," he asked very slowly as if he was scared that his admission may ruin her feelings about him.
"Of course…"
"I just said before that I had a crush on you…" he reminded her, allowing her to know it was leading somewhere.
She chuckled, "uhuh…"
"Once about 8 months after Sarah my divorce became final — I went to a departmental fundraiser for something or another," he remembered, "and you were there and you had arrived late because of a case and you were so flustered and you kept checking your phone, do you remember that night?"
She glanced up at him; it dawned on her that he had taken a lot of notice of her earlier than she had ever imagined. She remembered straight away; she was emotional, overwhelmed and wanted to be anywhere else. "I do…"
"I will never forget how beautiful you looked that night; I think it was right before Noah came in to your life," he added, "and you were wearing this stunning green silk dress and your hair…" he breathed out with a smile and gave his head a little shake as if still all these years later he was blown away by her beauty. "Whew…"
Olivia chuckled bashfully and she knew her cheeks were pink but she didn't care. She was so taken by his honesty and she knew he was telling the truth because he remembered the details right down to her obsessively looking at her phone. "You seemed so nervous and I was nervous to come and talk to you because I was convinced you hated me and you just blurted out that you'd been to a rape-homicide that day and your date stood you up and the last thing you wanted to do was say a few words for whoever was emceeing."
"Oh my goodness, I didn't even remember having to speak…" it all came crashing back to her. "Yeah, that's right," she nodded with a laugh, "you were so good! You just swept in and told me to hold tight and you got me a G&T, right?"
He started to laugh, happy that she remembered. "Yep, a double G&T," he confirmed, "and we stood there and talked for awhile until you were unwound."
"What did we talk about? Was I being insipid and neurotic about my date or the case?" She remembered the conversation, but the contents of it was lost on her.
"No," he laughed and gave her a little squeeze beside her, "you were so sweet, you asked about Ava and I was trying to send you hints, I'm almost a year divorced, I haven't started dating again, I wouldn't know where to start," he planted a kiss on Olivia's temple, "but bless your heart, you had no idea I was trying to test the waters, you were oblivious."
"Ohhhh, shit…" she lifted her body and stared at him with a big smile. "Are you serious? You were trying to ask me out?"
They exchanged smiles; it was Trevor's turn to be bashful. "I liked you so much, I always thought you were beautiful and I just … honestly? I've never been great at dating or with women, if it wasn't for Sarah bluntly asking me if I was ever going to make a move, I'd probably still be single."
"Not true, you made a move with me…" she replied, caressing his cheeks, brushing her thumbs along the bristles on his cheeks. "And you did it in such a lovely way that I didn't realise what was happening until you put all your moves on on that night — which turned out to be just you being a gentleman and let me tell you, Trevor Langan, that is an incredible turn on to me."
He felt his neck heating up. "Honestly, I have really liked you and have wanted to ask you out for years," he sighed, "and I was working up my nerve and I found out that you were dating Ed Tucker… and even then, I knew Rafael was a hot contender so even if you weren't dating Ed, I would have had to compete with Rafael Barba."
Olivia gave him a strange look. "Raf? No… he is my friend… I wish you'd just asked, I never get asked out, really."
"Well I waited it out," he shrugged, "and I have zero regrets because you, love, are everything that I thought you would be and this, us right now in this space and moment is all that I've wanted and the reality absolutely smashes the fantasy out the ballpark."
She laughed softly feeling moved by the man who had confessed years of feelings for her.
"You're right," she kissed him gently, aligning her mouth with his, brushing her lips along his own, "this moment is perfect…" she repeated her action, resting a hand on his chest and one on his perfectly angled cheek. "But, I think we should go inside, get changed and go and do our date stuff and then come back to the bar for some drinks before I get to spend the night in your arms."
Trevor reached up for her hand. He covered it over his chest, "Ooooft, Olivia, that is serious dirty talk to me… I have a couple of cheesy date-type things lined up, I hope you'll find them as fun and as stupid as I do…"
"Bring it on…" she grinned feeling so happy and light.