Hi everyone, thank you so much for your lovely comments they are always the best part about posting an update for me, im ngl. :) i have got a lot more time to write atm bc my household has been struckdown with covid (IM OK and still testing neg) so Im isolated from my husband which means a lot more time to myself which im gonna be honest, im not that sad about hahahaha.
I may work on finishing my other fic this week so dont panic if you dont see a fast update for this next weekend or early next week - its coming, its just that other ppl have requested I tie up some loose ends with my other fic.
How do I move forward with this fic? I am genuinely curious because I feel like I might be at a dead end soon enough. Should I finish it soon or keep going? Let me know what you think :) Im hopeless for ideas. Also for those suggesting babies - Olivia is a little past that, I think. I dont see that on the cards for her in this fic, sorry! But how cute is Trevor as a girl dad? I dont care what anyone tells me, Trevor Langan is a girl Dad!
OK please keep leaving me feedback and keep your fingers crossed that I dont get covid. :)
"Do you have your stuff?" Trevor asked Ava.
She nodded, nervous about her day.
"Its okay honey, it'll be fine and if anything goes wrong and if you need me for any reason at all, I want you to call me okay? I will come and pick you up without a single question."
"Okay Dad," she replied, grabbing a pop tart. She didn't bother heating it. "Ava," he made a face, "I told you to make something."
"I did," she gave him a little smile, "I made it to the kitchen to get the pop tarts."
He shook his head and decided to pick his battles more wisely. "Alright, are you ready to go?" He asked.
His daughter slung her bag over her shoulder and grabbed her school books and nodded. They headed down to the underground parking of the apartment so Trevor could take her to school.
It had been a long week trying to sort out his daughter's school issues but measures were put in to place to ensure that she was safe and felt safe and the principal assured him that she would be monitored closely during break times.
The principal also assured him that Rhiannon and her friends would be given a strong talking to. Trevor only hoped that the follow-through would be enough to keep his daughter safe. He had his own reservations but was careful not to project them on to Ava.
"How do you feel about going back to your classes?," he asked curiously as they drove together toward her school.
Ava shrugged, "I don't know, a little nervous I guess."
"What did Mom say about it all when you spoke with her last night?," he wondered. Trevor and Sarah had spent the week fighting over the phone about their daughter and Trevor had finally given her an ultimatum; she called Ava right away and he wasn't sure if it was to spite him or because she genuinely wanted to talk to her.
"Nothing of value," Ava shrugged, "don't let them get to you, do your best to blend in-"
"Wait, what?" Trevor frowned, feeling troubled by the conflicting advice. "No honey, I don't want you to blend in, I want you to be yourself and if that means standing out, then I am 100% behind you, you do not," he said with conviction, "ever water yourself down to fit someone else's cookie cutter, okay? I mean it."
Ava sighed and stared forward ahead at the brief traffic. "Standing out is what caused all this mess, maybe Mom has some merit."
"I don't ever want to say a bad word to you about your mother, babe," he told her, "but in this instance, she is wrong. You hold up your head high, Ava, you are exactly as you are meant to be and I love you and Olivia and Noah love you and high school is not forever. You are not required to tell anyone about your sexuality, but you are never required to hide it either… And for all that you are, this is just a part of your identity. You have a lion heart and you are so brave and talented and creative and really smart," he smiled at her, "way smarter than I wish you were sometimes," he chuckled in spite of himself. "I just want you to shine, I want you to colour everyone else's life the way you colour mine."
He felt himself getting a little misty eyed but he could see that Ava was grinning.
"I love you, Dad, I wish I lived with you growing up," she remarked. "I feel like you understand me better than Mom ever will. You know, last night she asked if I was still doing the gay thing."
Trevor couldn't help but to laugh out of shock. "I'm sorry about that, honey, I don't know what her issue is."
Ava shrugged, "I just told her it wasn't a phase and she said when the right boy came along I'd probably change my mind."
Trevor shook his head, annoyed. "It should make no difference to her if you have a girlfriend or a boyfriend, sweetheart, I wouldn't worry about it. Sometimes people have difficulty accepting things like that because of their own issues."
"How come you're so understanding about it?," she asked, "After I came out to Mom she told me that if I wanted to have a relationship with you, I should never tell you because you wouldn't handle it."
"What?" Trevor nearly choked on the words, "Are you kidding me?" He sighed. "Ava, I don't care because it doesn't matter," he told her, "I mean, obviously your identity is important to you, what matters to me is your happiness and if you are happiest with another girl and that girl treats you well and is gentle with your heart, I am all for that. It's just… not a big deal to me."
"Don't you want grandkids?," she asked.
Trevor smiled, "yes, but not any time soon so stop thinking about that. There's also more than one way to become a parent as you know from my work and if that's what you wanted, I'd support that too."
"Thanks Dad…" Ava smiled, "I love you," she said again.
"I love you too," he replied.
They drove in silence until they got closer to her school.
"Tonight, do you want to stay at Olivia's or do you want me to call Casi? I have a few meetings."
"Olivia's house, obviously. In fact, Dad I like Lucy better than Casi, can we fire Casi and hire Lucy."
Trevor laughed, "Ha, you're so funny, you think we can just hijack Lucy from Olivia? That wouldn't be very nice and Casi is fine."
"Casi is annoying — every sentence begins with, back in France…" she rolled her eyes, "she's always telling me how annoying and uncultured Americans are and its rude."
"Well its only for another year or so and now you're seeing her far less and you can thank Olivia for her kindness on that matter," he replied.
"Now," he began, "do you want me to walk you in to school or is that too lame?," he asked.
"No, I'll be fine, you can just drop me off," Ava replied. "Thanks Dad."
"You're welcome," they got close to the drop off - he veered close to the path and put the car in neutral for a moment. "Text me when you can and let me know how you're going, okay?"
She nodded. He leaned over and wrapped his arms around his daughter and gave her a little squeeze. He kissed her forehead. "Try to have a good day, I love you so much and I admire how brave you're being about this."
"Thanks, Dad, I love you too," she replied, getting out of the car. She opened up the backdoor to get her bags and her books. She slung it over her shoulder and gave her Dad a wave and a little smile that covered all the fear and anxiety she felt about the day.
/
Trevor headed to his first meeting for the day. It was at least a 35 minute drive without factoring in traffic. Incensed by his ex-wife's stupidity, he dared to dial her number. He was ready for yet another blow up, but he'd had enough.
The phone rang and rang and rang until it rang out.
"Fuck it," Trevor muttered. He sighed and tried again, just one more time.
Eventually just as he was about to hang up and give up, she answered.
"What!," she snapped, her voice incredulous and irate.
"I just had an interesting talk with our daughter," he began, guns blazing.
"Oh for goodness sake what now, I'm at work Trevor, make this short."
"Ava informed me that you tried to dissuade her from coming out to me if she was still interested in having a relationship with me, why would you put that on her, Sarah?," he demanded cutting to the chase.
"If I feel angry over her choices, Trevor, I knew you of all people would!," she replied, "I'm trying to protect her despite what you may believe!"
"Bullshit, you're trying to play divide-and-conquer and yet you came and dropped her off at my door like an unwanted baby and you decided you no longer want to mother her and you're giving her the worst fucking advice I've ever heard."
"Oh, you're always the fucking expert, aren't you?," Sarah lost her temper. "You think that I'm a bad person for wanting my space? Fuck you, you don't know what I'm going through. You think you can do a better job, then have at it, Trevor, you and your little girlfriend, go for gold, she can be her new Mommy."
"No one is trying to replace you, but you've been absent, Sarah and you can't be mad at her for looking to just about any other female in her life for support. You don't want to give it? That's fine, but she's going to be supported by me and her nanny or by Olivia or anyone else who enters her orbit because you are the only one who has a problem with Ava here, not me, not anyone else. This is all on you. Be a fucking mother and love your daughter unconditionally, or if you've tapped out, then tap out completely and stop playing shitty, emotionally, manipulative games with her!"
"Fuck yo-"
"Stop!," he yelled, raising his voice, "just stop! This isn't about me, Sarah, this is about Ava. If you don't want to do this anymore then that's fine, but you need to get out of her life if you can't be unconditionally supportive because she doesn't need something else to be heartbroken over."
"Fine," Sarah snapped, "you got what you wanted Trevor, your daughter all to yourself, maybe I'll get to be myself again like you got to do all these years and then you'll know how I felt."
"Yeah…. But I never chose to leave, you made me. And I have never turned my back on my daughter and never ever wanted anything for her other than her own happiness however that came. You're toxic and you're selfish and you need to make a choice and stick to it."
He hung up the phone and took a deep breath and blew out slowly. He wanted to scream with frustration but instead he did nothing.
He dialled Olivia. He knew she was at work, but if she had a moment, she would definitely answer.
/
"Just hold on one second-" Olivia held up her hand to Amanda, "sorry," she apologised. Amanda plucked out her own phone to check her texts.
"Hey…" Olivia smiled.
"Hi baby," Trevor murmured, "are you busy?"
"I have a minute or so," she replied, "what's wrong? You sound upset."
"I just feel like I sent Ava in to the lion's den and then I had a fight with Sarah and I don't know if talking to her is making it better or worse for Ava…"
Flicking her eyes up at Amanda feeling a little self-conscious, she took a deep breath and realised she didn't really care anymore. "Sorry baby," she replied, "I wish I could do something… did you tell Ava if she can't get a hold of you, to call me?"
"Yeah… also, is it still okay if she comes over to your place after school? I have a few meetings and she chose you over Casi obviously," Trevor smiled.
Olivia laughed, "Of course, I wouldn't have offered if it wasn't okay. I'm leaving here to pick Noah up from school. Should I ask her if she wants me to go wait for her from school too?"
Amanda was smiling at her with a raised eyebrow.
"Yeah, maybe, that might be nice, to be able to leave school with someone so no one gives her a hard time outside the gates," he agreed, "thanks Liv, for all that you do for Ava, she's lucky to have someone like you in her life."
"So are you, to be fair," she joked.
Trevor laughed lightly. "Okay well, I don't know when I'll be back, but I'll come pick her up after I finish."
"Why don't you both just stay at my place? Especially if you're going to be late, you don't want to have to deal with a cranky teen all the way home."
Trevor laughed, "Oooh you twisted my arm, okay Olivia Benson, that sounds good, Ava might need to get some clothes or something though—"
"We can sort that out, leave it with me," Liv smiled back at Amanda knowing that she was about to get grilled.
"Can you grab something for me to wear tomorrow then, too? And maybe something to wear to bed— or not," he chuckled.
Olivia laughed, "Okay easy there tiger, I'll see what I can do. You're not gonna get weird if I go rifling through your cupboards?"
"Nope," he replied sincerely, "you can go through whatever you like, baby, I got nothing to hide from you," he was grinning as he turned on to the highway.
"Okay, I'll remember that. Give me a call later…"
"Okay, love," he replied, "have a great day."
"You too, talk later baby." She hung up the phone and before she had even set the phone down Amanda stared at her, her mouth wide open, shocked.
"Oh, close your mouth," Olivia laughed, feeling her cheeks redden.
"Okay, Liv, spill it… who's the man?," she wanted to know.
Olivia stared at Amanda for a moment — her detective's blue eyes intently surveying her for the truth, wondering if she'd get a typical Olivia Benson shut down, or her boss would see her as a friend and confide in her. "For the record, it'll stay between you and I, I won't even tell Sonny, promise."
"I've been dating Trevor Langan since the Adoption Benefit I went to with him a month back," she replied.
"Sounds like more than dating," Amanda smiled, genuinely happy for her boss.
"Maybe…" Olivia nodded, "well, yeah, it's more than dating, I guess. I can't believe he never blipped on my radar until recently," she laughed at herself.
Amanda laughed too, "I've always thought he was incredibly handsome and very kind and he's always had an eye for you."
Olivia smiled, "that's what he told me, how did I not see that?"
She chuckled, "We should start calling you Oblivia."
They both laughed, "but hey, please don't say anything, I'm not ready to announce it yet, we just know that we're both into each other and we hope that it's going to lead somewhere great."
"And Trevor has a daughter, is that who you were talking about?" Amanda asked curiously.
"Yeah, she turned 14 about two months ago and she's an amazing little thing but she's having a hard time and he's struggling and being a semi-single Dad at the moment. Their relationship is the sweetest but she's… too smart, too sassy and a little too funny for her age."
"You sound and look really happy, Liv. Have the kids met?"
She nodded, "Yeah, Trevor helped me out with Noah a few days when I was on early mornings and Lucy couldn't make it. The kids are obsessed with each other if you can believe it."
"Wow…" Amanda grinned, "I love that," she remarked, "you look so happy, Liv, I'm really happy for you and I won't say a word to anyone, that's a promise."
"Thanks…" Liv replied, sighing with a little relief that she didn't have to keep it a secret any longer.
"And Elliot?" Amanda thought, she was convinced that at some stage Olivia would let her guard down for her ex-partner.
Olivia shrugged, "there's nothing there and the more time passes the more I've realised it. He doesn't give a shit about me and I feel like he hasn't softened with age, he's just gotten harder and more selfish and maybe that's Kathy's passing, but its also not my fault, I dont want to be his punching bag anymore, or the person that he wants and then doesn't want and certainly doesn't want anyone else to have."
"That's not fair to you, you deserve someone who will treat you like they always want you around, not just on their watch," Amanda agreed. She was relieved to hear her boss seeing the sense in the matter; she had watched Elliot take advantage of her ever since he arrived back and she was done. She was glad that Trevor was providing more stability for her.
"Trevor really is the real deal," Olivia replied with a little smile. "He really is a good man and he is so good with Noah and he puts on an amazing date with or without kids."
They both laughed and Olivia felt glad that she had someone to share her happiness with instead of keeping it to herself.
"I'll bet," Amanda couldn't help but to smirk.
Olivia rolled her eyes and laughed, "Okay, come on, we better go and follow up this lead…"
/
"Lesbiaaaaan," somebody whispered loudly as Ava walked past to her seat in the middle row of the class. She turned back and glared at the source of the taunt.
She heard it from another person as she sat down, this time it was from someone behind her. She closed her eyes for a second letting her father's words sink in. "Yeah, I'm a lesbian," she muttered, "it's not an insult to me," she snapped.
"That's enough, guys," said her English teacher looking directly at Ava and the rest of her classmates. She tried not to worry, but she could feel her heart beating quickly. She tried to relax and eased back in to her chair and took her notebook out.
She ignored the stupidity around her and began to follow the instructions given on the whiteboard. She looked forward to spending time with Olivia and Noah in the afternoon and getting time to talk to Liv uninterrupted. She was in awe of her for her job and how warm and kind she was and the fact that she was perfect for her father who had virtually made no effort to meet anyone else in all the years he'd been split from her mother.
And then there was Noah. She had always wanted a little brother or sister and she loved helping him with his homework and playing video games with him and he was so sweet when he realised she was sad.
Startling her was a note thrown on her desk from the girl beside her who she didn't really know very well. Her name was Rosa and she was a small girl with long, curly black hair and a cute little smile. Ava glanced at her. She didn't respond or react, she stared right ahead and then looked back down at her work.
Ava slowly unraveled the note. "Hi, we don't really know each other but I don't agree with everyone giving you a hard time. I'm sorry people are being mean to you. I'm Rosa and if you need a friend I'm here.
Ava glanced back at the girl beside her who flicked her eyes to meet hers briefly. Ava smiled, grateful for her kindness.
After class Ava lingered back, letting everyone else leave, ignoring some of her ex friends bumping her with their books as they passed. It wasn't that bad, she just had to get through the day.
She left the classroom and took a deep breath wondering what to do for lunch. Trevor had made her a special lunch; the two of them were embarking on a new activity of learning to cook healthily together. It was nice bonding time and the food was pretty good, in truth.
"Hey…" a voice said softly. She looked to her left and found Rosa standing by the doorway.
"Hi, thanks for the note, that was really nice," Ava said softly.
"You're welcome… your locker is close to mine, do you wanna walk with me?"
"Sure," Ava replied.
After they put their books away, Ava turned to the unlikely stranger and smiled, "so where are your friends?"
Rosa laughed, "I'm on scholarship here, no-one wants to be friends with the poor bi kid."
"Oh," Ava realised quickly that she was the girl that Rhiannon spoke about once when they started middle school - the girl who liked both girls and boys and didn't belong in their school. "Well, I don't care how much money you do or don't have, I can still be friends with you." Ava remembered Olivia's story about how she didn't have a lot of money and didn't fit in with her school friends because she was a scholarship kid.
"Well, I'm kinda lame, I bring my lunch and eat in the library where no one bothers me," she admitted to Ava.
Ava smiled. "Let me get my lunch, that actually sounds perfect."
/
"And!" Ava told Liv, dancing around her excitedly in a circle, "Rosa and I started texting too and she also dances and she's trying to get a scholarship in to this fancy school on the upper west side and there's openings so maybe I could talk to Dad about trying out, she's so nice and she didn't care when Rhiannon asked me if I found a new Lesbian girlfriend,"
Olivia couldn't help but to laugh, "Ava!," she exclaimed, "you're making me dizzy, I'm so happy that you're excited but let's just… stop with the pirouetting around me," Liv laughed, "it's exciting to have a new friend and I'm glad someone is being really kind to you."
Ava tried her best to be a little calmer. "Sorry, I didn't mean to get annoying," she said quietly.
"No, no…" Olivia smiled, "I didn't mean it like that, I am really happy to see you happy. I don't think I've seen you like this before."
"It just feels nice to have someone on my side," Ava shrugged, "and I really missed having someone to talk to who is my age."
"That's great kiddo, I am so happy for you, I can't wait to hear more about her." Olivia put an arm around Ava as they headed in to Noah's school to pick him up.
Olivia stood outside the classroom beside Ava. She felt the young girl slip her hand in to hers and it was a reminder that despite her bravado, she was still very much a little girl that longed for comfort and understanding. She wanted to be to Ava everything that she wished her own mother had been, warm, friendly, approachable and loving — and coincidentally, everything that Ava's mother also was not.
"Hi Liv!," one of the mothers greeted her as she came advanced toward them in the hallway.
"Hi Evelyn," Olivia replied with a smile, "how are you doing?"
"Good, how about you? I haven't seen you in awhile!" The tall, dark-haired woman greeted her, glancing curiously at Ava and back at the detective.
"Busy with work, you know, the city never sleeps," Olivia shrugged, "but I'm trying to meet my kid for pick up a little more, fighting a losing battle."
Evelyn smiled. "And who's your friend?," she nodded toward Ava.
"This is Ava. Ava, this is Evelyn, she's the Mom of Noah's friend Tim that he always talks about," Olivia explained.
"Hi," Ava lifted her hand to wave at the Mom.
"Ava is my partner's daughter," Olivia explained. "We're gonna pick Noah up and I'll take the kids home to do their homework and maybe we'll order pizza and watch a movie, what do you think?," she looked at Ava.
Ava smiled shyly and nodded.
Olivia smiled back at the Mom as the kids began to file out of the room. She laughed to see that Noah had spotted her with Ava and looked super excited. He grabbed his bag and pushed past the other kids and made a beeline to them.
He threw himself at Ava first, surprising Liv. "Ava! You're here too!," he exclaimed, "that's so cool!" Ava let go of Olivia's hand and hugged Noah tightly.
"Hiii," she grinned, "I am here, guess what! I'm coming to hang out with you and your Mom tonight while my Dad works!"
Noah pulled away and grinned at his Mom, "Is that true?," he asked Olivia as if they could be possibly playing a trick on him.
"Yeah babe, its true," Olivia grinned at him, "Trevor is busy tonight."
Noah was excited. He gave his Mom a hug and turned back to Ava and took her hand, "Can we go home now?"
"Sure, have you got everything?" Liv asked.
He nodded. Olivia gave Evelyn a wave and they left.
/
"How's it going?" Trevor asked Liv as he was driving home, tired, hungry and a little out of sorts.
"We're good, Noah just fell asleep and Ava has me hooked on that awful 90 day fiancé show," she smiled at his daughter.
"Oh, not you too," he groaned, "come on, Liv, you know how awful those shows are."
"Oh," she laughed, "I do know how awful they are which is why it's so great. Anyway, how are you? How are you travelling?"
"I'm getting there, about an hour away. Do you have a car space I can park in or should I just drive home first?"
"You can park in mine, you have the spare keys anyway… we're looking forward to seeing you," she told him.
"Me too," he replied, "I missed you yesterday. Are you off early in the morning?," he wondered.
"Yeah, I start at 7:30, I was going to ask if you would maybe organise Noah for school or if you would prefer that I ask Lucy, I'm okay with either," she wanted to give him an out.
"No, I can do it, love," he smiled, "of course I'll do that. Maybe we can get Ava to walk him to school if you're comfortable with that."
"That sounds good, Noah will love that and I think a certain someone else might too," she smiled down at Ava and ran her fingers through the girl's long blonde hair. "How did your meeting with the new family go?," she asked.
"Not that great, I don't know about them, it feels sketchy and I need to make sure this baby goes only with the best. I'm gonna hold off speaking to the judge until I've slept on it."
"That sounds rough, I'm sorry," Olivia murmured, "we've got some left over pizza for you and some beers if you need to a wind down when you get back."
"You guys are the best," he smiled, "okay, oh how'd my kid go at school?," he asked.
"Why don't I put her on and you can ask her yourself."
"Thanks Liv, see you soon, love."
"See you soon," she repeated and handed the phone to Ava.
/
"Shouldn't you be in bed?" Trevor asked, giving his daughter a little leeway as he sat down beside her on the couch. He was glad to be home and changed in to some gym pants and a t shirt. He had helped himself to a plate and a slice of pizza.
"I should… but Liv and I were watching our show and I wanted to wait for you to get home," she replied with a little smile.
"Okay," he replied as Liv joined them with a beer for Trevor. He looked up at Olivia and grinned. "Thanks, baby." He sighed with relief to be home. He turned to Ava, "tell me about your day, kid, what's this about a new friend?"
"Her name is Rosa and Rhiannon used to give her a hard time too… so we just hung out together today and studied for our English essay in the library during our lunch time like loser nerds and ignored everyone together and she's in to dance as well and she lives on on the other side of town."
Trevor smiled at his daughter. "That's really great, Ava, I'm glad you made a friend and that you had a good day and I especially love that you guys studied on your lunch break," he chuckled.
Ava smiled.
"Why don't you invite her to your swim meet or something next weekend?," he asked, wanting to do his best to foster new friendships.
His daughter shrugged, "I dunno, we'll see."
"Well, I'm very happy for you, honey but you should probably think about going to bed," he suggested gently, "you have practice tomorrow afternoon after school and I'm gonna be there to oversee things and I don't want you to be tired and grouchy."
"Awww but I was watching the show with Liv," Ava looked at Olivia with a pout.
"I can stop it here and we can watch it next time, I actually have the entire weekend off including friday til monday night, so maybe we can hang out over the weekend and have a binge watch,"
"Ugh, maybe I'll take Noah to do something while you girls fry your brains," Trevor screwed his face up.
They laughed.
"Okay. Good night," she kissed her Dad on the cheek and gave him a squeeze.
"Night honey," he smiled, "love you."
She paused beside Olivia and gave her a kiss and a hug. "Goodnight babe, sweet dreams."
"Love you both!" Ava replied with a little smile as she made her way upstairs to her room where she had stayed four times since her Dad and Olivia had officially got together."
/
"I know I keep saying it, but thanks so much for being so good to Ava," Trevor told her once they had gone to her room. Olivia had discretely locked her bedroom door behind her.
"Its okay, you don't have to keep thanking me. It's my pleasure. I love hanging out with her, she's so sweet, she's turning in to my little sidekick," Olivia smiled.
Trevor laughed. He sat on the edge of the bed and yawned, "Oh yeah, I didn't get to tell you about my fight with Sarah this morning, I blew up and hung up on her…" he informed her, "she's so… illogical and infuriating."
Olivia listened to him relay the conversation before he shook his head with irate.
"Anyway, I can't force her to be a mother but I can certainly make it harder for her to damage my daughter's state of mind and if I have to take it to court, I will. Maybe she can pay me the alimony for a change."
"Trevor, I know you're frustrated but I don't think the answer is blocking Sarah from a relationship with her, I think you just need to enforce healthy communication with Ava and not taking on negativity and knowing when she needs to stop her Mom from saying unhelpful things."
"I know you think I sound like a jerk, but it's my kid and so many things she said to her yesterday that Ava told me about were toxic and gross, all but encouraging Ava to hide who she is and do her best to fit in. Worst advice ever."
"I don't think you sound like a jerk, baby, I know you're just worried about Ava," she remarked.
He nodded, "Sorry, I'm sorry its literally just been me rambling about kid-stuff this week and if its not Ava, it's work."
She shook her head, "Its alright, you don't have to apologise."
"What about you?," he asked, "How was work?"
Olivia shrugged, "I'm okay. Work was it was fine, I have to make an effort not to bring it home with me." She paused and kissed him, "I'm glad to see you though."
"Me too," he agreed.
"I'm gonna go get in the shower and get ready for bed, I'm pretty tired," she told him with a yawn.
"Okay, want company or do you want to be alone?," he asked, wanting to give her an out. It had been a week and a half since anything had happened between them — not for the lack of trying, she thought.
Before they got up a few mornings earlier she had awoken to Trevor kissing her lips softly until her eyes opened, his morning erection ready for action but just when she was starting to fall beneath his spell, the door was flung open and Noah let himself in, announcing that they had slept in.
"I wouldn't mind company," Olivia replied with a little smile.
/
Trevor got in the shower first and waited for Olivia to get ready. He stood beneath the spray and let the water run over his face. Olivia opened the glass screen and let herself in, admiring his muscular back, his round backside and the thickness of his thighs. She lowered herself to her knees with a little smile. "Baby?," she spoke her words softly, her knees cold and achey immediately, but worth it to see his reaction.
He turned around and did a double take. He laughed, "Liv!"
She laughed too, "What? You don't want my mouth around you?," she asked, her cheeks getting red.
He grinned at her; at her confidence, her want to please him and her absolute gorgeousness. He reached for her hand. "I absolutely do want your mouth around me, but I don't want you to hurt your knees in the process," he told her sincerely. He pulled her to her feet.
He linked an arm around her waist and drew her beneath the water's spray. She started to laugh, the water beating down over her head, dripping down her face and in to her mouth. She sputtered, feeling like a drowned rat.
She felt his hands covering her forehead, pushing her hair back from her face. He reached up and moved the spray in another direction, still grinning and chuckling.
"I can't believe you just did that to me!," she laughed, water still being spat out of her mouth. "I was trying hard to be cute… why do you want to embarrass me?," she asked, half laughing from disbelief — the other half of her irate and shamed.
"Ohh, nooo," he said quickly, his grin spreading across his mouth when she opened her eyes. "I didn't mean to embarrass you," he added, "that's never what I want and you are exceptionally cute… I had to get you off your knees because that sight of you with all your cheekiness and good humour hit me hard…"
She rose an eyebrow, wishing that his beautiful grin would ease from those amazing cheeks of his. She was confused.
"Wanna know a terrible secret?," he wondered with his green eyes suddenly looking a little brighter than usual.
"Okay?"
He kissed her, taking a step closer until her shoulders met with the cold tiles behind her. She jumped a little in surprise.
"I love you so fucking much!," he exclaimed, "and before, when I turned around and you were just waiting there with your cute-as-fuck smile and I thought, fucccck, I love this woman! And you deserve to know… so I'm sorry I nearly drowned you, but I wanted to tell you as a matter of urgency."
Olivia's lips upturned slowly in to a smile as her eyes creased at the corners. "Yeah….?," she murmured softly, "is that for real?"
"For real for real," he replied, kissing her lips.
"You might change your mind…" her voice trailed.
"I'm not going to change my mind," he replied gently. "I love you, Liv, I really love you and I need you to believe that."
Her eyes moistened as she sniffed, looking back up at him, "I love you, Trev…" she blurted out, knowing that each time she went to say it, she held back and if she continued to hold back it would just get harder and harder to say. And she wanted to say it because she did love him.
"Yeah?" He replied, his grin turning to happy laughter. "Really?"
"Yes, I love you and I've had those feelings for you since we began dating," she replied.
"Me too," he chuckled, "love at first date, maybe?" He joked.
She nodded. "It felt like it," she chuckled. He slid his wet arms around her and drew her close to him. It felt so good to be close to him, skin to skin.
"This was a pathetic rinse, but do you want to go to bed?," he asked.
She nodded enthusiastically. "Yeah, let's go to bed." He turned the taps off and got out first, grabbing a towel. He handed the second towel to her. She wiped herself down and wrapped it beneath her arms. She followed Trevor in to the bedroom.
She watched him lose his towel and get in to bed. She couldn't help herself, she picked up the wet towel from the floor but he stopped her, "live a little, Olivia, its okay, it'll be fine for awhile…"
She glanced at him and chuckled. He grabbed the hem of her towel and tugged it away from her playfully. Olivia laughed. He tossed her towel and took her in his arms, pulling her in to the bed playfully causing her to laugh out loud. "Shhhh," he hushed her with a chuckle, "you have to try to be quiet," he told her as if she didn't know.
She giggled, delighted by his rolling her on to her back and pinning her down with his big, cheeky grin. "I haven't been able to stop thinking about this moment all day…" his voice trailed off, "getting to be alone and naked with you," he smiled.
"Me too," she agreed, "this dating as parents thing is rough, gotta pick our moments well," she agreed as he caressed her wet hair. He kissed her lips softly. He reached down and pulled the covers up to cover them up to his waist. He felt her arms wrapped around him, her soft hands resting upon the tight muscles of his upper back.
He kissed her again and rested his large hand at her side. He knew she was still a little self conscious of her nudity in front of him, but he knew she was starting to relax with him as the trust grew between them.
She felt his hand travel up to find her breast and she knew that the relief she was after wasn't as wanton as it had been back at the hotel but the need burned within her just the same the second that his hand covered her flesh. Olivia let her eyes shut as Trevor gently caressed her nipple. She groaned out loud.
"Liv! Shhhh!," he reminded her with a little laugh. "You can't be loud!"
He kissed her lips and felt them parting so that he could find her tongue a little anxiously. Olivia whimpered from the back of her throat and she started to feel the makings of his erection between them. He adjusted himself on top of her slightly, alleviating some discomfort.
His hand fell away from her breast and moved down south to her thighs, squeezing them and teasing her by running his hand over her bare skin of her centre. A sea of warmth spread all over the surface of her skin and she anticipated more from him. "Mmmm," he murmured, feeling that she was already aroused. "I miss your taste…" he spoke against her ear.
Olivia whimpered loudly, the noise came from the back of her throat. He pulled away, "Liv! Do I need to stop?," he asked as if he was making a threat.
"If you want me to stop making noise then you need to start getting much worse at what you're doing!," she hissed, laughter on the edge of her tongue.
"Fine," he shrugged as he caressed her soft flesh back and forth, challengingly. "I'll do my absolute worst, just stop making that noise because it makes me want to do start doing my best again,"
She found it hard to concentrate as she felt his fingers slip inside of her. She let out a soft sigh,
"Mmm… don't do your worst, that won't stop my noises, just be …" she paused her words as she felt his fingers curling inside her to reach a deeper spot, "just be mediocre, can you do that?"
He let out a light laugh, knowing she was at his absolute mercy. "I don't do anything half-assed, Olivia, you know that," he murmured, relishing her beautiful face in the bedroom light, free of tension and stress.
"Mmm, do whatever you need to do," she replied, her playful protest dissipating as it was replaced with utter pleasure.
He kissed her again, "I'm going to put my mouth where my hands are now so you better bury your face in a pillow or something," he warned her.
He saw Olivia clutch the pillow beside her head to ready herself for the euphoric feeling he was sure to bestow upon her. He kissed his way down between her breasts; small and soft kisses at first, but quickly turned in to long and lingering ones. His mouth covered her flesh all the way down until he reached her thighs. He continued further, pulling the covers off them and kissed down each leg.
He watched her chest rising and falling with anticipation.
Eventually he made his way back up to her pelvis. Olivia grabbed a handful of the sheets beside her.
Trevor brushed his lips against her soft skin and pushed her legs apart. She felt his tongue taking soft, long strokes of her. His mouth covered her. She was full of arousal but the self-consciousness she'd felt the weekend previous was gone. Trevor loved burying his tongue within her walls to lap up her wetness until he'd taken the last drop.
He explored Olivia with his warm, velvety tongue and it sent waves of pleasure throughout her body — his mouth tended to what felt like every single nerve ending. She gasped and moaned and writhed beneath him; muffling herself with the pillow.
Olivia found herself holding her breath as his lips twisted the small bud of pleasure at her opening. She felt his tongue brushing over it. The sensations were building fast in the pit of her stomach that almost hurt; she felt like she could combust at any moment as her orgasm built up quickly before she could try to dissuade it.
Trevor felt the shudder of her hips as the orgasm surprised him and rippled through her. He continued to lap her up with his tongue, keeping consistent and trying to make it last as long as he could. She whispered a curse loudly as Trevor began easing off as she calmed.
Olivia was breathless and warm and spent. He sensed it and kissed his way back up the way he had gone down. He rested beside her for a few moments. "Need a few seconds to catch your breath?," he asked with a little smile.
Olivia chuckled and nodded. She reached for his hand and interlaced her fingers within his breathlessly. She inched closer, wanting some contact. He grinned at her and leaned in for a kiss. He cuddled her closer and Liv could feel his rock hard erection pressed against her leg.
"Fuck…" she murmured, "you're so hard…"
He laughed, "I can't help it, you just make me that way."
"You want me?" She asked, "you wanna be inside me?" She pressed.
Trevor caressed her hair and gazed in to her brown eyes and nodded slowly, entranced by her questions. He took her hand and guided it down to his penis. She wrapped her hand around him, "see how hard I am?" He asked.
Olivia took his length and gripped him. "I love your cock," she told him softly, "its perfect and it feels fucking amazing when you're inside of me," she told him. She ran her hand up and down his length, letting her thumb give the head of his penis a little extra attention.
Trevor let his head fall back with lust and pleasure. "Do you want my mouth around you?," she asked him bluntly. "You want to feel my tongue all over you?"
"If…. If that's what you want…" he said politely.
Olivia almost laughed at how sweet he tried to be.
She disappeared under the covers to find her way down to his erection, spending a lot of time letting her mouth explore his abdominal muscles, exploring his flesh the same way he had done for her.
She held him firmly and kissed her way along his shaft, small, soft kisses that left him wanting more. She gave his backside a squeeze. She ran her tongue along him and swirled it around the head of his cock. It caused it to twitch and for a curse word to leave his mouth. She felt the muscles of his ass tighten as she closed her lips over his erection, bobbing up and down on it, holding the base of his shaft firmly.
Trevor signalled for her to stop, he wanted to bury his now-slick cock inside of her folds and bring them both to pleasure. It was now urgent and he was already close. He grabbed her, pushing her forward and she knew exactly what was about to happen. He wrapped his arm around her waist. Olivia lifted her thigh to allow him room to enter her.
"Fuckkkkk….," she moaned, feeling him entering her a little less carefully than the first time. She shimmied back, taking his full length. His hand disappeared between her legs. "I love you," he told her when she turned slightly to kiss him. His stare was intense as he slowly moved in and out of her.
"I love you," she replied, meeting his lips. She felt him moving deep within her, hitting a little further each time, angling himself to reach the tiny bit inside of her that had her coming within moments last time. He enjoyed moving in and out at a slow rhythmic pace that became stronger with each thrust, lifting her body and causing her to let out a gasp each time he hit that spot.
Sensing her sluggishness, Trevor began to move a little faster until he felt his orgasm creeping back up on him. He explored her clitoris while he moved in and out until she announced that she was coming; it spurred him on and she felt him filling her up as her body tensed and twitched almost in time with his as they both came.
"Fuckkk… " he immediately withdrew and laid on his back catching his breath. Olivia turned to face him. She smiled at him, draping her arm across his chest. "So good…" she murmured.
Trevor caressed her face. "So good," he agreed.
"We probably should shower again," she told him.
He nodded, "Yeah… want me to come and wash you?," he asked sweetly. Olivia cocked her head to the side, smirking, almost reproachful.
"No, really…" he smiled innocently, "I love you, I care for your hygiene," he laughed at himself.
Olivia rolled her eyes, "Do you think I have hygiene issues, Langan? And really think about that answer."
"Absolutely yes, I think you actually have the worst hygiene and as it turns out, I'm a bit of a clean freak-"
"Oh yeah, I can tell you are soooooo much of a clean freak, dropping your towel on the floor, leaving your clothes everywhere…" she interrupted, rolling her eyes.
He laughed, "Because I am a bit of a clean freak, I was just going to tell you how much I was going to enjoy washing you down and spreading all that body wash over you and helping you get to all of those hard to reach places," he smirked.
Olivia laughed and shook her head. "Really, I can do that on my own, promise."
"I don't know about that, you seem to really need the help, I mean if I had to say there's one area of you as a person that falls short, it's definitely your ability to wash yourself."
She shoved him, "you jerk!"
He laughed again and pulled her near him and buried his face in to her neck, blowing a raspberry and rubbing his facial hair on her skin, tickling her. She tried not to burst out laughing as she fought to push him away. It was no use though, Trevor was strong and he was not letting her loose.
She gave up and let him embrace her. Once she stopped resisting he chuckled playfully, "I really, really do love you," he told her gently, softening and kissing her lips. "I am absolutely crazy for you."
She kissed him back, "I love you so much," she replied.
She was on top of him, laying on his chest, her legs straddled either side of his waist. He was so, so tall that she felt like she was climbing him just meet his height. She pushed herself up, gripping his biceps to give herself the strength to sit over him, cowboy style.
Trevor loved it, he loved to see her above him, bare chested and free with herself, seeming as though she didn't have a single vulnerability at all.
He grinned at her, "You're so beautiful…" he remarked. He tucked one arm behind his head and rested his other hand at her waist.
She smiled bashfully. "I don't know if I agree with that, but you certainly make me feel at ease, so thanks for that, that doesn't come easily to me."
"I know…" he replied, turning a little serious. "You shouldn't be self-conscious though, you have the most fantastic tits," he grinned, "and you're body is so smooth and soft and I just fucking love it…"
He could see her face heating up. She crossed her arms over her breasts with a little laugh.
"Don't you dare, Benson," he told her grabbing her arms and pulling them away. He took her hands in his and laced his fingers through hers, pressing their palms together.
"I think more than anything I'm really weird about my scars and its probably why I've not really allowed myself to be fully vulnerable since him which would explain why sex has not been amazing for a very, very long time."
He nodded with understanding. "What's different about me, though?"
She smiled. "You just have something about you…" she shrugged, "you make me feel like if I wanted to talk about it or if you wanted to ask about it, you'd allow me to or you'd do it without making it weird or making me feel ashamed."
"You're right, I would," he agreed. "But who on earth would make you feel ashamed about what someone else left on you?," he wondered.
"No one ever said anything, but Brian would only have sex with the lights off for awhile and I realised why that was; and Tucker told me he couldn't discuss it because he couldn't bare to think about what I'd been through."
Trevor made a face that showed his instant irritation. "Its not about me and my feelings are always going to be second to yours, Liv, especially in this case. If you want to ever talk to me about it, we can and while I hate what happened to you, I can still discuss it and I don't care if you get emotional or sad or even angry, it's your trauma and you get to deal with it the way you need and you'll always have whatever support from me that you need…" he paused, "you may have to sometimes tell me what you need because I can't read minds, but I'm here no matter what."
"Thanks…" she replied, trying very hard not to become emotional. "That's actually the kindest thing anyone's ever said to me about it."
He gave her a smile. He sat up, bringing her close to him. He kissed her. "Let's go have this shower, you have to be up early and I need to make sure these kids aren't gonna be little grumps in the morning."
Olivia slipped her arms around him and embraced him for a moment. He slid his arms around her too and held her for a moment. He could feel her need in the embrace; that she had become a little emotional from their conversation. "Love you…" she told him as she slowly lifted herself off him to head toward the shower.
It felt nice to finally say the words and she knew she would continue telling him all the time and she would tell his daughter the same too, because she already loved her.
/
"Noah, don't tell your Mom about this okay? She will never let us walk to school again."
Noah frowned, "Why are they being mean to you?," he asked as they neared his school.
"It's hard to explain, maybe when you're a bit bigger I can tell you about it, but it's complicated right now and it's stupid, but no one will hurt us, they're just talking crap and they're just jerks." Ava tried to explain.
"Is this because you want to marry a girl?," he wondered.
Ava nearly choked. "How do you know that?"
"I heard Mom and your Dad talking about it the other day," he replied with a shrug.
"What were they saying?" Ava had stopped in her tracks, her heart leaping in to her throat, trying to be prepared for things she didn't want to hear.
"Your Dad said that he didn't understand why kids are so mean and he just wants to see you happy and if it means you marry a girl, then he would be happy as long as you are and Mommy agreed," Noah shrugged, "why is it such a big deal?"
Ava breathed a sigh of relief, "I don't know, some people are uncomfortable."
"I don't care if you like a girl or a boy. I still want you to be my sister one day."
She finally smiled, "I hope you'll be my baby brother one day," she replied, taking his hand again. "Hey after school my Dad is picking us up and we're going to my swim practice, after practice do you want me to help you with your swimming?," she wondered.
"Yeah! I wanna be like you and join a swim team."
Ava smiled at him. She adored him so much. "Okay, come on, let's take you to class and then I have to go to school."
/
Rosa greeted Ava at her locker. "Hi, are you all good? I heard that Josh and Chad gave you and your little brother a hard time on the way to school."
Ava nodded, "Yeah we're fine. It's not my little brother, it's my Dad's girlfriend's son, Noah. They were being dicks."
"I'm sorry, is Noah okay?," she wondered.
"Yeah," Ava nodded with a little smile, "he's the coolest 9 year old ever, I just have to keep him from telling our parents" she shrugged. She put her books away and grabbed her history text book. "What subject do you have?" Ava asked.
"Math," Rosa groaned, "I am so bad at it, I am gonna flunk out on the exam next week, I know that's for sure."
Ava laughed, "I'm really good at Math and so is my Dad, let me know if you want some help, if I can't help you, I know he can and he's super patient."
Rosa smiled, "thanks… okay come meet me after class?"
Ava nodded and waved at her new friend as they both went their separate ways.
/
Ava took a seat at the front of the room to hopefully dissuade the bullies from giving her a hard time. She opened up her note book and her text book and waited for her teacher to arrive. "I can't believe she actually showed up," someone called out between laughter. She knew they were talking about her.
"Chad was like, you better stay the fuck away because you're about to get a beat down by RhiRhi, homo, and here she is, its like she actually wants to get her ass beat," a voice said.
"Don't use that word," someone snapped at the moron at the back of the room.
"Sorry, I won't say the word fuck anymore," the guy, Josh, she thought it might have been, replied. His friends laughed.
"Stop being a dick, you ain't beating nobody's ass. Leave her alone." Ava dared to look to the voice just behind her, sitting back one row behind her. It was a guy who she never really spoke to before; his name was Rory. He was a little heavy-set and much taller than Josh Blakely.
"What are you gonna do about it, fat ass? You got a crush on her? She don't want you, fat ass, not unless you got a pussy."
Ava heard a chair fly back and turned to see Rory in Josh's face. "What'd you call me? You wanna say it to my face?"
"Rory, get back in your seat right now or you can spend another day in Mr Hudson's office."
"Lucky little bitch," Rory spat at the kid who shrunk before him, flinching from Rory. He took his seat and glanced at Ava and gave her the smallest of small smiles. She felt her heart skip a beat with anxiety, feeling grateful nothing had escalated on her account.
She turned back to the front of the class to pay attention but was grateful that nobody said a word to her for the rest of the lesson.
/
Just after lunch Olivia's phone began to ring. She took it from her pocket and picked it up immediately, holding a finger up at Sonny. "Sorry, just one second."
"Hey honey, what's up?"
All she could hear was sobbing. "Ava…. Honey?," she pressed, feeling a little panicked. "Where are you?" When no sense would come from the teen, Olivia tried another approach, "deep breaths, in and out, come on,"
She allowed her a few seconds before she tried, "I need you," she blurted out in to what sounded like an echo-y room.
"Okay, okay," Olivia soothed her, "what's happened, my love, where are you? Can I call your Dad to get you?"
"No, no don't call Dad…" she said quickly. She was in the toilet stall unsure of what to do. She wiped her eyes. "I need you, I'm sorry, I know you're busy, but I need you, Liv."
"Its okay, honey, I'm not too busy for you. Are you at school?"
"Yeah," Ava replied, nodding as if Olivia could see her, "I think I got my period; I've bled through and one of the boys saw and told me and I'm so embarrassed and I don't know what to do…" she began to sob again.
"Ohhhh," Liv lowered her voice, "okay baby, it's fine, I'll come now. Does your school bathroom have sanitary items?," she wanted to know.
"No… I don't think so," Ava replied.
"Okay, I'm coming. Do you have a teacher or someone you can speak to?," she asked softly. Carisi had quickly bowed out of Liv's office giving her privacy. He wasn't quite sure what was going on, but it was clearly private.
"No…"
"Its okay, you sit tight and I'll be right there, I'll call you when I arrive."
/
After a quick stop to a pharmacy, Olivia made it to Ava's school in record time. She texted her and got her exact location, speaking to the front reception. She didn't really reserve the right to freely roam the school and Trevor had never given her any authorisation to step in for Ava just yet despite talking about it, but a flash of her badge was all that was necessary along with a quick explanation in hushed voices to the older lady that worked behind the desk.
Olivia texted Trevor to let him know she was on her way to pick Ava up and that it had far less to do with bullies than it did girl problems.
He had to make a call to allow Olivia to sign her out.
She pushed open the bathroom door. "Ava?" Olivia called out. "It's me, Liv…" she made her way to the middle stall that was closed and she heard it unlock. Ava appeared and burst in to sobs. Olivia gathered her in her arms and held her tightly. "Its okay, kiddo… this is no reason to be this upset, its okay…" she let her cry for a moment and heard the door open.
In sauntered two young girls; one of them rose her eyebrow at Olivia and the other smirked at a little at Ava. "Its okay," Liv murmured to Trevor's daughter knowing that she would be extra mortified.
Olivia knew the kind of girls, she had dealt with them in high school herself. She knew from the exchanged glances, the giggles, the way that they lingered that they were there to be nosey and not for the purpose of using the bathroom; plus it was in school time.
"Are you guys gonna use the bathroom or are you just here to put on make up?" Liv asked.
The taller of the two girls glared at Olivia in the bathroom mirror. Olivia stared just as hard back as she stroked Ava's hair. "Who does she think she is?," the smaller of the two chuckled, "the local police officer?"
"Actually," Olivia began, "I am the local police officer. She reached in to her jacket pocket and pulled out her flip book and showed them her badge. "I'm NYPD Captain Olivia Benson and I'm kindly asking you both to go back to class or else I'm happy to escort you."
Olivia watched their eyes widen and their heads fall, swanlike as if washing their hands became the most important task. They both scurried off very quickly. Ava had thankfully calmed down a little. "That was Rhiannon," she told Olivia.
"Hopefully she'll leave you alone, now." Olivia replied, she reached in to her hand bag on her shoulder, "this is what we're gonna do; I've got you some fresh underwear from the pharmacy and some pads. Do you need me to show you how it works or do you want me to just tell you?," she asked.
"You can tell me," Ava replied.
Olivia held out the plastic wrapped underwear and opened the light thin pads. "I know it seems like its not going to hold much, but it will, I promise. When you unwrap it, you just tear off the adhesive strip and you press on to your underwear, and the little bits on the side tuck over to hold it in place. It will feel like its giant and that the whole world can see, but I promise it won't be visible"
Ava nodded and wiped her eyes.
Olivia emptied the bag of pads in to her handbag and handed Ava the plastic shopping bag. "Put your underwear in here… and I'm gonna take you home to get changed."
"Thanks Olivia," she sniffed.
"Oh, honey its okay…" She smiled at Ava, giving her a little squeeze.
"What about my skirt, look at the stain…" she turned around so Olivia could see.
"Its not that bad, it's only small. I'll walk out behind you, it'll be okay."
Ava disappeared in to the stall to freshen up, leaving her backpack with Olivia who stood against the bathroom entry to allow Ava some privacy. "How are you going in there?" Liv called out after awhile.
"I'm okay, it's just…. Gross," she replied.
Olivia couldn't help but smile. "It's not gross, its just… one of those annoying parts of being a woman, my love."
Ava emerged a few moments later looking a little calmer and a lot less teary.
"I have an idea," Liv told her, grabbing the waist of Ava's skirt and twisting it so that the small stain was on the side where it was less likely to be visible. "There… no one will notice," she smiled.
Ava thanked her and stuffed her soiled pants in to the front, unused compartment of her bag and put it on her back.
"Come on, let's take you home."
/
Ava returned back downstairs in her pyjamas and curled up on the couch. Olivia had just hung up with Trevor. She followed her in to the living room. She covered her over with a blanket that hung over the back of her couch. "Honey, I gotta go back to work and Dad's coming and he'll be home any minute now."
Ava sat up, horrified, "oh my god, Liv, no! Did you tell him?"
"Yes honey, I told your Dad that you had to come home because you got your period and it's okay, it's totally normal."
Trevor's daughter's eyes filled with tears and she laid back down, pulling the blanket up over her shoulders. "I didn't want him to know, it's so embarrassing."
Olivia took a seat, "it's not embarrassing, it's just a part of life and it's kind of a big deal for you," she told her gently. "I'm sorry that I have to go back to work, but I'll be back in time for dinner and I've told Dad it's your choice to pick something to eat and if you need anything, you just call me."
She leaned over and kissed the teen on her temple. "Next month this won't feel like a big deal, and in six months time you'll just be walking around with PMS, wanting to kick every man that comes in your way."
Ava was finally able to laugh despite her tears. "Do you still get your period?," she asked Olivia.
"Unfortunately yes," Liv replied making a face, "but you'll get used to it. It's uncomfortable and a bit of a nuisance and as you've realised, there was a reason why you've felt rotten and emotional for the past few days."
Ava nodded, "and crampy, I thought it was just dinner last night…"
Olivia laughed.
"I didn't mean to interrupt your day, Liv…"
"I know that," she smiled, "but I don't even mind at all, I was happy to help you out and I'm glad I scared Rhiannon and whoever her little friend was."
Ava smiled briefly. "I tried calling my Mom; I left her three voice mails because I thought she should walk me through what to do but she didn't answer and I went on her Facebook account and I could see she was active on the messenger but she didn't reply to me there either."
"I'm sorry," Liv replied. "I'm here for you, whenever you need anything, I'm glad you felt comfortable enough to call me."
They both heard the front door open. "Okay sweetie, give me a big hug."
Ava sat up and opened up her arms to Olivia and let her embrace her. "I love you so much, honey," surprising the teen with her admission.
"I love you too," she replied, meaning it with every part of her. She was so glad for her Dad's girlfriend.
"Hey, you handing out free hugs, honey?" Trevor stood in the doorway with his suit and tie on, a hand on a hip as if he was offended that he had been left out. Really, he felt warmed, watching the moment between his girlfriend and daughter.
"No, no hugs," Ava replied as if she truly meant it.
Olivia smiled. "Don't be so hard on your Dad, he deserves a hug too."
Ava smiled, feeling a little better about her father knowing what happened immediately when he didn't enter the room awkwardly. She knew Olivia would have told him the details so that she didn't have to and she felt glad about that.
Liv got up and kissed Trevor. "See you around 5:30 or 6. I can get Amanda to grab Noah from school and drop him off," she told him.
Trevor circled an arm around Olivia's waist, "Nah, its okay, I think Ava will be fine for half an hour on her own, what do you think, kiddo?"
Ava nodded, "I'll just be here on the couch feeling sorry for myself…"
He kissed Liv again. "I love you, be safe baby."
"Love you too," Olivia replied, "bye Ava."
/
Ava had fallen asleep in front of the TV and Trevor felt pretty proud of himself. He took a photo of the gift and went upstairs to his own room and left it in his bathroom so that Olivia could add to it when she got home
"Is this okay?, delivery felt like five fucking minutes, these shopping apps are crazy," he texted the photo to Olivia.
A few moments later he received a response, "That is actually the sweetest gift you could have ever got, You're the cutest, Trevor Langan and I told you the apps would really make your life easier. See you soon; don't worry about Noah, honestly, Amanda is picking Jesse up today and she's gonna grab Noah too."
"Okay, but if you need I can go whenever. Ava is asleep. Have a good afternoon, see you soon."
Trevor went to get changed and headed back downstairs to spend some time with his daughter who he noticed was awake and looking at her phone.
"Hey angel," he greeted her, "good nap?"
She glanced at her Dad wearing gym pants and a plain t-shirt. "It was okay," she replied.
He watched her bend her legs and bring them closer toward her chest to allow him room to sit. Once he got comfortable he patted his legs so she could stretch out again. "Bit of a rough day, huh?"
He felt a little uncomfortable as he was now in new territory with her, but he never wanted her to be worried about approaching him with anything.
"A bit… I'm glad I could call Olivia," she replied, trying to be cool about it.
"I'm glad too, I know it's a little awkward for you to be able to come to me about this kind of stuff, honey, but you can and I'll try not to be weird about it."
Ava couldn't help but to smile. "Yeah right, Dad… you're barely holding it together right now," she decided that teasing him was the best approach.
He laughed. "But listen, I'm trying," he told her seriously, "I'm trying to figure out still about what's appropriate for me to say and what's not," he paused, "I don't want to ever embarrass you or make you feel uncomfortable but sometimes I think it's better that I'm as blunt with you as you are with me,"
"I know Dad, it's weird. Mom dumped me on you at a weird time for me."
"Liv told me you tried to contact your Mom about all of this before you called her."
"Yeah… I don't know why I expected anything from her. I'm an idiot."
"You're not an idiot, sweetie. I'm done defending your Mom, I gotta be honest. I won't ever speak ill of her to you, but I don't want to keep telling you that she's just busy or she's got something going on, because I don't know that that's true, I don't know what your Mom is thinking but one day she is going to regret how she's acted and all I know is that she's missing out on the most beautiful kid growing up… That's entirely her loss, but Ava because I am so glad you're here with me."
She tried not to cry. "I'm glad I'm here too," she replied. "Thanks for being real with me about Mom… but it does feel entirely personal."
"I know, it must be an awful feeling, but its more about her shitty behaviour than anything you could have ever done, sweetie."
Ava nodded her head slowly. "I'm not gonna call her or text her anymore, I'm so angry with her… I'm just lucky that I have you and Liv."
Trevor smiled. "You'll always have us." He looked at the TV and groaned, "are we really going to have to watch this rubbish?"
She laughed, "Yes and you have to watch it with me and learn everyone's names and back stories."
"I can't, kiddo, it's too much, this show is so awful. It gives me the ick, is that what you guys say now?," he laughed at himself.
His teenage daughter laughed at him too. "Okay, okay what about if we watch Breaking Bad, will you watch that with me? I'm only two episodes in to my rewatch."
"Yeah honey, even though I don't really think you should be watching a show about meth making, I'll watch it with you."
They both laughed and Ava felt a little calmer about everything.
/
"You're doing a good job there, champ…" Trevor smiled at Noah who looked obscenely tiny as he took the dishes carefully out of the dish washer and handed them to Trevor who was putting them away for him. He still wasn't entirely used to where everything was in this foreign kitchen.
"Trev, is Ava okay?," he asked, "because we were gonna swim today."
"Ava is not feeling the best," he replied to Noah, "Mom picked her up from school after lunch, that's why Amanda came to get you."
"Oh, what's wrong with her?," he wondered, curious, pushing for information after overhearing a particularly gross conversation take place between Amanda and his mother.
Awkwardly Trevor took the plate from him. "Its a private thing," he told Noah, "I don't think Ava wants to talk about it right now," he replied.
"Is she ….," he hesitated, "bleeding," he whispered.
Trevor nearly choked. "Uh…yeah, how do you know that?"
"Amanda called Mom on the way home and Mom said that Ava called her to say she was bleeding and Amanda said she's 14 now so its normal… but Ava looks fine now."
Noah shut the empty dish washer and looked at Trevor expectantly with his big eyes.
"Come here…" Trevor beckoned the boy over.
He picked him up and sat him on the kitchen counter. "Ava is totally fine, she's just having a thing that happens when you get to her age, but she'll be fine, I promise."
"Well, I couldn't see any blood," he shrugged.
Trevor had to put his discomfort aside and almost visibly winced. "Because the bleeding is from a private area," he replied.
Noah made a horrified face that almost made Trevor laugh. "I don't want to bleed from my private parts!," he gasped.
"No, no, no," Trevor said quickly, realising he was going to have to be more blunt with him. "Noah, firstly it only happens to women," he explained, "and it happens for a special reason and it's a little complicated but-"
"What are you guys discussing?" Olivia asked, coming in to the kitchen to get a drink, "it looks very serious."
"Secret men's business!" Trevor replied with a little wink at Noah.
Olivia glanced to Noah and to Trevor, "Ooooookay," she got a drink and narrowed her eyes at Trevor with a smile, wondering what was going on but said nothing and let them go back to it.
/
"Liv, today these kids were being rude to me in class," Ava started, scrolling through her phone, "and this guy that transferred at the beginning of the year stood up for me and told them to leave me alone and not to use the word homo."
"Wait, people are calling you homo?," Liv stopped her, troubled by the casualness of which Ava admitted it.
She shrugged at Olivia, "its okay, it's just a stupid word."
Olivia drew in a deep breath and shook her head. She felt angry. She let it out for the good of letting Trevor's daughter finish her story.
"Its not okay, but we'll circle back…" she replied, "did you speak to the boy?"
Ava nodded, "He went to catch up with me after class and I thought he was gonna be nice to me but he just told me about the blood on my skirt and now… look…" she clicked on to her instagram inbox and it showed a profile pic of a video game character. The username was, "RoryTheElimin83r". Olivia read the message that Ava put before her.
"What up Ava, I just wanted to check that ur ok after we talked. I hope I didn't embarrass u but I just wanted 2 tell u becuz if anyone else saw they'd be cruel. Its no biggie tho, I got 3 older sisters and i wont tell anyone. also im sorry those dicks were like that in class, not everyone is like them but most are 2 scared to stand up to that group of jerks. I asked ur friend rosa where u were and she said u went home so I hope ur ok and that I didn't upset u."
"That's beautiful, Ava, what a nice kid," Olivia smiled.
"I know, I'm embarrassed but its nice."
"You should reply, its a big job for boys his age to be kind like that, it doesn't come easy in my experience dealing with teens."
"I will," Ava replied.
She put an arm around her and Ava leaned in and texted back. "Liv is it normal to feel nauseous, like, I feel like vomiting."
"Sometimes. It's just hormones, some months it's worse than others," she explained.
"Ugh…" Ava sighed. "Are you at work tomorrow?"
"Yeah, I'm at work on nightshift from 4 til 2am and friday will be my first full day off," she replied.
"Oh, I'm barely gonna get to see you for the rest of the week," she pouted.
Olivia kissed Ava's temple. "I know, night shifts are harder on Noah too, but I'll be here and it just means that I can get up with you guys for school if you're staying at my place or we are staying here," she smiled at her. "I can walk with you and Noah to school and I'm sure we'll all hang out on the weekend."
"I hope you'll stay here all week," Ava replied.
"We'll see."
"Weellll, I'm gonna go to bed, I feel really gross."
"Okay honey, I'm gonna get Noah to bed too… Have a good sleep okay? And if you need me in the night, come and get me."
"Ew, I'm not coming in to Dad's room while you're in bed together-"
"Don't be silly," Olivia cut her off, "I mean it."
Ignoring her, Ava changed the subject, "if you're up early enough Liv, could you braid my hair again for school?"
Olivia smiled, "Of course. I'll be awake. Sweet dreams."
Ava gave her a hug. "I love you, Liv, you're the best not-really-my-Mom ever."
Olivia couldn't help but to chuckle, "I love you too, goodnight."
/
Ava made her way in to her bedroom and saw a box sitting on her bed with a card on top of it. She frowned and a little part of her cringed. She opened the card and recognised her Dad's handwriting.
She glanced at the front — some wishy-washy black and white cheesy Daddy-daughter image. She opened the card. "Dear Ava, you're growing up right before my eyes and its so very bitter-sweet. I want you to know how much I love you and how I am so happy and proud of how mature, smart, funny and amazing you are. You are the sweetest, kindest soul and it's a joy to watch you growing in to a young woman. Olivia and I thought you deserved a little pampering and I know you'll roll your eyes and cringe, but secretly love this.
Though, I'm begging, don't be eager to grow up too fast, your Dad can't deal with it. No matter how old you are, you'll always be my baby girl.
Love, Dad."
She found herself smiling, it was cheesy, but she appreciated how hard he was trying to be involved without embarrassing her or making it awkward for either of them. She opened the box and found a few bath items, a travel pack of sanitary items and spare underwear. There was a small amenities purse which she grinned to herself, realising it was an expensive brand. A block of chocolate, some candy, some pain relief and at the bottom a leisure read about UFO and Alien mysteries.
She sat down on her bed and felt incredibly grateful for the not one but now two people that she could count on. She placed the box on her bedside table and got in to bed.
She could hear her Dad and Liv saying goodnight to Noah. Her door was ajar and she'd turned the lights out except for her galaxy lamp that she still slept with because it made her feel calm.
There was a soft knock at her door. "Hey angel, you still awake?" Her father's voice whispered.
"Yeah, I'm awake, Dad," she replied.
He pushed the door open and handed her something. "Olivia said you were feeling a little nauseous." It was a heat pack.
"Thanks Daddy…" she took it from him and placed it beneath the covers against the cramps in her lower stomach. She held out her arms to him. She saw him smile and oblige her hug.
"Feel better soon, sweetie."
"Thanks for my gift, Dad, I love you so much."
He gave her a little squeeze. "I love you too, sweetheart. If you're still feeling rotten tomorrow, I can work from home okay?"
"Okay," she replied. "Goodnight."
Trevor let go of his daughter and met Olivia in the hall and took her hand, pulling her gently toward his bedroom. He closed the door behind them.
"Ugh, I am so fucking exhausted," he announced, "how are you feeling?"
"Same," she yawned. "It feels like its been a big day and I know it's gonna be even bigger tomorrow."
"Poor thing," Trevor replied. Olivia headed in to the bathroom to brush her teeth and get in to bed. Trevor liked to shower first so she waited for him.
He came out wearing a pair of tight grey jocks and a white tank and got in to bed beside her. He had to keep in mind that there was a young child who might come in to the bedroom during the night.
"Thanks for taking care of Ava… she just loves you so much and I honestly feel like you have helped out with our relationship, you've helped me connect with her better and I love and appreciate you for that."
Olivia smiled. "I think you're a wonderful Dad and I think you would have had no choice but to find your footing if I wasn't with you, but I'm always here for you both. And look at you, secret men's business with Noah."
Trevor laughed, "I hope you won't be mad at me for this, but… he asked me if Ava was okay and said he overheard you and Amanda talking and was so frightened he would bleed from his privates at a certain age."
"What!" Olivia couldn't help but to laugh despite her concern, "shit, Trevor, what did you tell him?"
"The truth in a general sense."
She found herself slightly miffed, it wasn't really the conversation that he should have had without her permission. "You should have asked me if that was okay…" she said slowly, not expecting him to have jumped in to a conversation like that without checking in with her.
Trevor rose an eyebrow. "Seriously?"
"What if I don't want him to know that stuff yet? He's a little bit young."
"Olivia," Trevor began gently, "there is nothing wrong with Noah knowing about menstruation at 9. Do you think its better for him to go to school telling his friends that they're all going to bleed at 14?"
"You should have asked," she insisted, "you should have told me and allowed me to have that conversation with my son. I would never overstep like that with Ava."
"I didn't think I was overstepping. I was answering a question and he clearly didn't want to ask you about it or else he would have. The same way Ava didn't call me when she got her period, she called my girlfriend."
"What did you tell him?"
Trevor was getting annoyed too, feeling attacked. "I told him that women's body's performs miracles by having babies and in order to have a baby their body's produce eggs and when a woman decides either on her own or with a partner that she wants to have a child, that egg can be fertilised and if it isn't fertilised, her body gets rid of it and that's why she bleeds."
"How can I argue with that?," she threw up her hands, immediately feeling stupid.
"What?" Trevor laughed, thinking she was angry with him.
She finally laughed and shook her head, "you actually said that about when a woman decides?"
He narrowed his eyes, trying to figure out if she was irate or happy. "Yeah…"
She laughed again, "I guess you handled it. Probably in a better way than I might have…."
"I don't get it, are you being sarcastic? Are you angry with me? I don't know what to think…"
"No…" she sighed, "I don't want to be mad at you, I just am mad that he didn't talk to me… but I get it, he's never really had a man in his life that he can ask blunt questions to… so I appreciate the fact that you explained to him respectfully."
Trevor felt his shoulders relax; he had wondered if he was going to endure his first fight with Olivia. "I also told him that when he's older he might need to step up to the plate and be understanding when a woman is going through that time — that kindness like hugs and kisses and practical things like cooking or cleaning helps…"
Olivia grinned at him, "yeah, well, I'll be able to find out in like a week or so if you really are going to step up to the plate in that sense," she laughed.
"You won't be disappointed," he replied with a nonplussed shrug. "I'll bring you a hot water bottle and stroke your hair and bring you pain relief…" he smiled.
"You're just a fucking treasure," she chuckled.
Trevor leaned in and kissed her. "But for real, I will talk to you about any big discussions I have with Noah going forward."
"Thanks baby," she replied, "I just … I only have one go at parenting and I want to have those experiences as tricky as they are."
"Point taken," he smiled. "And if you need my help, you can just ask."
"I love you, sorry for getting weird, I just get scared of someone telling him stupid shit. I want to be honest with him and I want him to feel comfortable with all of that stuff, not be the kind of kid or teen that is grossed out by biology."
"its okay," he replied. "I wouldn't want that for him either, we're on the same page." She kissed him back.
"Let's go to sleep, you have to try to get enough sleep for nightshift and I think I'm going to have an emotional teenager at home tomorrow."
Olivia rolled over and turned the lamp off and backed up until she felt his chest against her back. He wrapped an arm around her and found her hand. She slid her fingers between his and got comfortable. "Goodnight," she murmured.
"Goodnight, I love you."