Chapter 32: The Best of Friends

Duck Hunt dog barked as he chased hexagonal-shaped creatures. The duck quacked in shame. "This world's biology is very different. Then again I'd assume so for an alien planet," Tails said. "It sounds like you've been on one," Daisy said. "There was Planet Wisp when Eggman tried to make his theme park. And of course, there was the home of the Deadly Six," Tails said. "I have no idea what any of those are," Daisy said. "Finally. A nice place to relax," Luigi said. The sound of a banjo and a horn began playing loudly. "AH!' Luigi screamed and jumped up.

They peeked through a bush. They saw a bear playing a banjo and a bird in his backpack playing a horn. "Is that a giant bear? Playing a banjo?" Luigi questioned. "Guh huh! Sure am," he said. "Wait, how can he hear us?" Tails asked. They stopped playing their instruments. "Seriously. You're poking your heads through a bush," the bird said. The Duck Hunt dog jumped through the bush and the duck followed. "Well, I guess introductions are in order," the bear said as he put his banjo away, "I'm Banjo, and this is my friend, Kazooie." "Banjo and Kazooie. Like the instruments," Luigi said. "Yeah. I wonder if he had a brain to realize that," Kazooie said. "Hey! Why did you say that to my Luigi?!" Daisy exclaimed. "Come on Kazooie. There's no need to start a fight," Banjo said. "Yeah. Yeah. Either I would've won anyway," Kazooie said. "And what's that supposed to mean?" Daisy asked.

"Come on Kazooie. Play nice," Banjo said. "Yeah. Yeah," Kazooie said. The duck quacked. "What are you looking at?!" Kazooie exclaimed. The duck quacked away back to the dog. The dog barked. "Gee. Sorry about Kazooie. She just kinda woke up on the wrong side of the bed," Banjo said. "I sleep in your backpack hung on a lamp Banjo," Kazooie said. "Guh huh! I left you a bed. You just love sleeping in my backpack," Banjo said. Kazooie blushed, "Q-quiet Banjo." Tails walked around Kazooie. "I've never seen your type of biology before. I detect you're at least the size of Banjo, yet you can fit in his small backpack," Tails said. "Is that a compliment or are you calling me fat?" Kazooie asked. "I might be able to run some tests, if you let me," Tails said, "To study." "What does that involve?" Luigi asked. "Simply a rectal camera scan," Tails said. "AH! You ain't putting anything in my ass!" Kazooie screamed. "Maybe it'll get her to shut up," Daisy mumbled. "What was that bitch?!" Kazooie yelled. "Kazooie," Banjo said. "No no! Let her come at me! I bet she can't hit anything with her beak!" Daisy yelled. "That's it!" Kazooie yelled.

Kazooie jumped out of Banjo's back and got her wings ready like a boxer. "Come on! Bring it on!" Kazooie yelled. "I'll gladly win!" Daisy yelled as she put her fists up. "Guys, we should just talk abou-" Luigi said. "Shut up! Kazooie yelled. "Well maybe we can-" Banjo said. "Shut up!" Daisy yelled. The string of an electric bass was heard out of nowhere. Daisy and Kazooie were engulfed in a cloud of dust as they fought. The dog barked in allegiance with Daisy. The duck quacked for Kazooie. "We're getting nowhere with this," Tails said. "Gee, I'm sorry about Kazooie," Banjo said. "Don't worry. Either way, Daisy can take care of herself… and me," Luigi said. "If there's any way I can repay you I'll gladly do it," Banjo said. "Well now that you mention it…" Tails said.

While Daisy and Kazooie kept beating each other up, Tails and Luigi had the opportunity to explain to Banjo their predicament. "Gee, that does sound bad. I'm not sure how I'll be able to help. The only baddy I fight is the ugliest witch of the land, Gruntilda, but gee, we haven't seen her disgusting face in a while," Banjo said. "Oh, well actually we kinda already defeated her when she attacked us a while ago," Luigi said. "Oh gee. If Gruntilda was involved I suppose we should help. Who knows what tricks she put into this Subspace Army," Banjo said.

"T-take t-his," Daisy said, exhausted. "N-no, y-ou," Kazooie said, exhausted. The Duck Hunt duo were both sleeping. At this point, they were both lightly slapping each other. "Hey, are you two done yet?" Tails asked. "Not until she admits I'm… better," Kazooie said as she collapsed. "N-never," Daisy said as she collapsed too. "Huh? That's the first time I ever saw Kazooie tired out guh huh," Banjo said. Tails' EnerScan began detecting some energy sightings. "Guys. We have incoming," Tails said.

From a nearby hill, two fighters jumped out. "Look out!" Luigi yelled. The Duck Hunt dog barked, grabbed the duck, and ran out of the way as the two fighters smacked the ground beneath them with their mallets. These fighters were wearing mountain climbing uniforms made for the cold, held two wooden mallets, and had a dark aura with yellow eyes. "These guys look like some Ice Climbers," Banjo said. They spun around and were surrounded by a tornado of ice. "AH!" Luigi yelled as he was hit and frozen in place. "Luigi! Oh, I'll teach you not to mess with my man!" Daisy yelled. Daisy took out a golf club, smacked the Ice Climbers mid-spin, and launched them back. "Nice," Tails said.

The Ice Climbers jumped back up to their feet. Then more shadow bugs came and covered the Ice Climbers and they began to grow taller than even Spiral Mountain herself. "Well, looks like you only angered it bitch," Kazooie said. "Oh shut your ass up," Daisy said.

The Ice Climbers swung their hammers down to the ground. Everyone dodged out of the way. "Take this!" Daisy yelled. Daisy tried to smack them with her golf club but the attack did nothing. "Ha Ha!" Kazooie laughed. "Hey! I don't see you trying!" Daisy yelled. "Alright! Come on Banjo! Let's go show them what I… I mean me… I mean we are capable of," Kazooie said. "Guh huh! Sure thing," Banjo said.

Banjo jumped up and let Kazooie take control. Kazooie moved her foot back and forth as if pretending to be a race car revving up. "Guh huh!" Banjo yelled. Kazooie made a bird noise and charged ahead. The Ice Climbers anticipated them but did not expect this. "Switch!" Kazooie yelled. Banjo held Kazooie like a gun and began shooting blue pellets. The Ice Climbers were moments away from smashing them until, "Switch!" Banjo yelled. Kazooie switched over and jumped up with Banjo on her back. "Switch!" Kazooie yelled. Banjo held Kazooie tightly while Kazooie pecked crazily at the Ice Climbers. "Turn!' Kazooie yelled as she entered the backpack. Banjo turned around as Kazooie launched an egg grenade at the Ice Climbers. "And now a golden feather por favor," Kazooie said. "Gladly," Banjo said. Kazooie took the golden feather and both she and Banjo charged forward and knocked down the Ice Climbers.

Banjo landed back on the ground and made a small gesture as if a crowd was throwing roses at him. Kazooie passed him his banjo and they played a small tune in victory. "Guh huh!" Banjo giggled. "Oh wow, that was amazing. You both symbolize the embodiment of teamwork and friendship. Kind of like the dog and the duck, and me and Sonic," Tails said. "Pfft. It was okay," Daisy said. "Aw, is someone just jealous," Kazooie mocked. "Shut up!" Daisy yelled. The ice melted off Luigi. "Ah! What did I miss?" Luigi asked. "Everything moron," Kazooie said. "Hey! Watch it!" Daisy yelled.

The Ice Climbers shrunk back down and the shadow bugs left their trophy. "What are we supposed to do with that? Burn it?" Kazooie asked. "Instead of committing arson, or possibly second-degree murder, we might want to reawaken them. Maybe they could tell us info," Tails said. "Ugh. Fine. If you want to do it the boring way," Kazooie said, disappointed.

Tails reawakened the Ice Climbers. "Whoa! Where are we Popo?" the female Ice Climber asked. "I'm not sure Nana," Popo said. "Hello," Luigi said. "Ah!" they exclaimed. "Guh huh! Calm down. We're friends," Banjo said. "Even after we beat their asses," Kazooie said. The Duck Hunt dog barked. "What is the last thing you remember?" Tails asked. "The last thing I remember is encountering some hooded guy with a very long sword. He kinda lit up the mountain we were climbing on and caused an avalanche," Nana said. "All I feel is despair because we were so close to climbing the highest mountain and becoming the best Ice Climbers in history," Popo said. "Alas, we may never accomplish that goal," Nana said. "Aw, don't worry. One day you will. For now, you want to help us fight evil so you can get back to climbing ice?" Banjo asked. "Wait, does that mean you'll join us?" Luigi asked. "Guh huh! Yeah. Either way, we've been seeking to go on an adventure," Banjo said. "Huh? Alright. I mean if it gets us back to climbing mountains we'll do that," Popo said.

Sneaking up in front of them were two R.O.B. units. "What are those?" Luigi asked. The R.O.B. units placed a bomb on the ground and pulled it open. The bomb began counting. "Oh boy. It's the same one that blew up Mobius," Tails said. "Is that bad?" Banjo asked. "OF COURSE IT'S BAD! IT'S A BOMB! RUN!" Kazooie screamed. Everyone ran back to the Tornado. "MOVE IT! MOVE IT! MOVE IT!" Kazooie screamed.

The Tornado took off as the R.O.B. units executed the bomb, blowing up another world.