Author's Note: Made this a loooooong time ago, feel free to roast me in the comments because I love angst between lovers :)
Rated M for language, alcohol usage, possible hints of gore, and sexual themes
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Remember those days when we used to still be 'brothers'?
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Ike walked to the bus slowly with his friends Ruby, Filmore, and Flora. He had a big grin on his face from today's events. Today, he made the "awesomest painted picture in class ever". He didn't like to brag, but his face showed off all of it.
"You're being really gay today, Ike. It's getting really annoying." Ruby complains, and flips the bird. It runs through the Tucker family, as if it was part of their bloodline.
Ike glares at Ruby before starting his sentence, "Not because I am gay, Ruby. I am just so freaking awesome! You guys can't stand how I just come in a package like this."
Ike shrugs, showing off his grin again. Filmore pushes back at Ruby, "Yeah, calm down Ms. Tucker," Ruby double flips Filmore off. "Just cause you're jealous. I find Ike's talent very gifted. Now I can ask him to do my art homework for me- then the art teacher wouldn't be so freaking pissed."
"...Ahahahahaha, stop, you guys..! I..I'm not good with flattery..." Ike nervously shifts on his two feet. The four of them were waiting for their bus to open its' doors and let them all in.
"It's okay, Ike. Flattery's a good thing. It doesn't really come around much in life, though, that's why it's good." Flora beams at Ike, Ike turning a slight pink.
"Th-thanks, Flora," Ike's embarrassment starts fading away once he sees the crazy bus lady. "Let us on, you big fat fucker!"
"What'd you say!?" She spits at the small, defenseless Ike.
"I said, I saw a small little Tucker over here to my side," Ike motions to Ruby who flips him off while getting on the bus. Ike grins and sits next to Filmore, who had reserved a seat especially for him. "Hah...thanks Filmore. You didn't really have to do that for me, though..."
"Oh? Would you rather you sat on the floor?" Ike turns a bright red and quickly sits next to Filmore, who apparently has a shit-eating grin on his face.
"Th-thanks..." Ike manages to stammer out, and looks out the window for most of the ride- exchanging small talk with Filmore here and there.
After about an hour of being on the stinky-fucking-smelly bus, they had reached their destination- a rundown part of South Park. Well, only Ruby and Ike arrived. Filmore and Flora were more like North Park material. Not like they were poor or anything, but...you get the point.
"Hm, this is where I leave, see ya- Ike." Ruby flips off Ike when he doesn't say anything. When Ike realizes he forgot to say bye, he almost shits bricks. She was going to twist his neck off.
"Shit-!" Ike curses. "BYE RUBY!"
The boy with the raven hair waves back hurriedly, but apparently the strawberry-blonde haired girl he was waving to disappeared in the distance. Ike sighs to himself, possibly in stress, or something of the sort. Looking up and seeing his familiar ginger haired brother, he hurries over.
"Hey, Ike," Kyle lifts his leg up, Ike raising an eyebrow for questioning. "Oh, I forgot, I can't play kick the baby anymore. My baby's all grown up."
Ike puts his pouty-face on, but soon replaces it with a bright smile. Because he saw his most favorite person in the world, Stan Marsh. Ever since he was younger, seeing Stan made him happy. He didn't know what it was, maybe he wanted to be friends with him? He wasn't sure, but these feelings for Stan...seemed to be growing, somehow. He couldn't quite put his finger on it.
"Hey Stan!" The quarterback turns around with a big grin on his face that makes Ike's heart skip a beat.
"Hey Ike, cuddly little man!" Stan walks up to Ike, ruffling up his hair. Ike absolutely loves it when he does that. "So...how's your day goin'?"
Stan backs off a bit and sits on a tree stump near him- Ike regrets the movement he made the second he did it.
"Um...it's going well so far, I guess," Ike peers down at his shoes- observing the shoe laces laced with dirt and mud. He wasn't exactly "used" to the attention he was getting from Stan. "I got voted the best painted picture class."
"Well you're lucky. I'm the most crappiest artist ever," Ike blushes. Like Flora, flattery is all and well, but Ike just isn't good with that kind of stuff. Ike gulps and looks up to steal a glance at Stan; his heart ultimately skips a beat when he sees Stan's face.
Stan was smiling. At him. AT. HIM.
Ike turns to his older brother in what seemed like a millisecond. "I...I have to go do my homework now.."
Kyle seems to nod his head in approval, and Ike seems to have rushed up the staircase.
Ike was just starting to do his homework when a knock sounds on his door. He sighs and gets up to open, surprised to see that it was Stan.
"Uh...Ike?" Ike nods his head 'yeah'. "...Do you, uh, mind putting on your headphones...or earphones? If you have any, I mean."
"...Why?" Ike asks, and Stan turns a deep red. "And no...I don't have any cause my parents think that they're a pain in the ass."
"Cause...you just have to...!" Stan tugs at the hat on his head nervously. "Here, you can borrow mine."
Stan fishes his iPod and matching headphones out of his pocket hungrily. He hands them Ike, Ike looking them both over curiously. Stan's earphones had small icons of Domo printed on the front sides, and the wires that led to the plug in were blue and brown-striped.
"I...I don't get it, why can't you just rent a motel for a day or something? You know how mad my parents get when...they see that there's something wrong with their house." Stan blushes a deep red.
"So...you knew?" He looks away from Ike's gaze. Ike sticks his tongue out childishly, his hands on his hips in a similar Kyle-like fashion. "Pffft, well then Mr. Sassypants. Now you know where I'm getting at. We can't uh, exactly get a motel cause we like ours free. Don't you agree?"
"Uh." Ike shrugs and Stan just smiles, ruffling up his hair.
"Thanks a lot, buddy. Oh, and don't go into Kyle's room. That's all I ask."
"...Sure..." Stan nods his head in approval and leaves the room, locking the door behind him.
Ike sighs and sits on his bed just staring at Stan's phone. His wallpaper was of him and Kyle fucking around in the park, Kenny and Cartman walking around in the background. Ike hesitates and goes to Stan's music player, putting the headphones on first. He looked through all of Stan's songs, smiling because of what he saw- most of the songs Stan listened to were songs he loved to death. Satisfied knowing this, Ike chooses a song from Green Day and puts it continuously on loop for about an hour or so- doing his homework at the same time.
It was soon dinnertime and Ike heard the shower running across the hallway, and he was wondering if they were done doing what they were doing and if he should take his earphones out. He decided to not take a chance and left them in, doodling on a random page in his math notebook.
Suddenly there wad a loud knock on his door. It opened, revealing a drunken Stan, tears running down his face. Stan makes his way over to a frightened Ike, who was scooting off his own bed every step Stan took towards him. Stan smashes the beer he was holding in his hand onto the floor, the smell of it spreading rapidly across Ike's small room.
"St...stan...?" The small whimper of what Stan's name was, was lost in Stan's dark brooding. " Stan...? Stan, what happened?"
Stan turns his head to look up at Ike, an almost-sadistic smile spread out across his face. "...Kyle," Stan whispers, the words faint in Ike's ears. "Your brother happened. He..."
Stan's eyes go red and puffy once more, he must have been crying the whole time Kyle was in the shower. In pity, Ike crawls over to the hunched-over Stan. He was grasping onto Ike's blanket so hard that his knuckles were fully white. Ike hugs Stan softly, caressing his back and telling him that everything will be alright. After what seems like an eternity, the deafening silence in the room disappears. Stan was talking in a low, husky voice.
"Ike...what should I do? ...Kyle left me for..." Stan looks away, but Ike grabs tightly onto the cuff of his shirt. "Kyle left me for Craig."
Ike's hand twitches a little after those bitter-tasting words come out of Stan's mouth. Lots of thoughts were running right through his head. Kyle for Craig? That's ridiculous. Who would want that chain-smoking douchebag? Stan was still waiting for an answer from Ike, possibly relationship advice. Ike hesitated and came closer to Stan.
"Stan, don't worry, you'll get my big brother back." No matter how much it hurt saying those words, Ike had to do it for Stan. "He'll come back for you, I promise."
There was a faint smile on Stan's face, but it had disappeared once Ike looked up.
"Ike...that isn't possible. He's already gone." Stan hated those words. He wanted to stab them with a deep hatred burning in his heart.
"I'm so sorry Stan...I never knew big brother could be such a dork. And I can't even do anything to help you..." Ike grabbed at his hair frantically, in a similar way of Stans' doing when he first walked in.
"It's not your fault, Ike. I'm the dork. I think I did something wrong to make Kyle mad," Stan finally smiles at Ike. "Don't you worry, little buddy. I'll fix all of this."
And with that, Stan up and walked out of Ike's room; though it was too casual and normal...
Ike was left dumbstruck on his bed, wondering what to do next. Stan walking out his bedroom door like that just now wasn't normal. How can someone like him still be walking after a heart-breaking situation like that?
Ike got up off his bed and put all of his homework away, into his backpack. Then he ran outside of his bedroom - into the hallway, down the staircase, looking for Stan. He wasn't anywhere in the house, so he went home...?
Ike got his cellphone out and called Stan's number (he stole Kyle's phone and got it from there), but he didn't pick up. He ran to the kitchen and flipped through his dad's phone book, finding Stans' parents numbers. Ike quickly called them and found that Stan's mom picked up.
"Mrs. Marsh!? Is Stan home?!" Ike yells into the phone, receiving static from the other end of the line.
"Um, no...? Is this Ike Broflovski?" Stan's mom asks curiously.
"Yes, thanks Mrs. Marsh!" Ike screams back, and hangs up the moment she first starts her sentence. Thoughts were running rapidly in and out of Ike's brain, wracking thoughts and ideas, etc. But the only thought that stayed was the thought that Stan was going to commit suicide.
He had learned from way back, when Stan was in fourth grade, that he was going to kill himself after Wendy Testaburger broke up with him. Kyle always told Ike that that time was called the "Dark Times of Stan Marsh". And thay event lasted for about four years. Alas...Stan turned homosexual, so he started going out with Kyle. It was supposed to do him good, but then Ike started having a crush on him. And Ike really didn't want Stan to die. Not yet.
Ike called his big brother, Kyle, to tell him that Stan was going to commit suicide soon, but he didn't answer. Through clenched teeth, Ike takes his phone and throws it at the floor, stomping on it like a crazed maniac.
If Stan's going, then I'm going too.
Ike ran. He ran as fast as he ever thought he could in his life. He checked everywhere in South Park for Stan. He couldn't help the love pouring out from his heart, overwhelming him and his body into a whole new, different world. Ike didn't care if he got run over by a truck or raped by a madman. As long as he knew that he was truly in love with Stan Marsh - that is, until he drew his last breath.
"Stan!?" Ike yells out into the snowy landscape. It would look beautiful if he just stopped to watch, but Ike didn't have the time, nor patience to do so. "Stan!? Where the hell are you!?"
Ike keeps looking around at Stark's Pond, that place was really huge. It seemed endless, trying to look for Stan there. All there was was snow, snow, and snow. It's surprising how Ike hasn't given up yet.
"Stan-" Ike turns to see a horrific sight. A limp Stan swaying slowly by a rope. There was blood dripping from his fingertips, his hat pulled tightly over his face - revealing the hunk of hair pulled out of the back of his head. A struggle…?
Ike couldn't think straight after seeing what he had just seen. Stan was dead, right before him. He didn't know what to do. Kyle, Kenny, Cartman...no one was there but him to mourn for Stan's loss. What a depressing death, to die alone.
Ike runs over to the hanged Stan, his eyes gouged out, two black empty holes replacing his blue-colored irises. He choked back a sob that was slowly rising in the middle of his throat, but eventually gave up. A river flowed from his eyes, down his face, onto the snow-filled landscape around him. Tears mixed with sweat, and frozen water took the place of Stan's blood. Ike was now hugging the limp cadaver of Stan's existence. He buried his face and sharply inhaled the scent of ivory soap. Ivory soap…
"Ike, what are you doing?" A familiar voice says behind him. What the-!? Stan!?
"Stan…?" Ike blinked. "But...but the...limp…"
Ike stutters, but Stan simply ruffles Ike's hair up.
"You've been out here for a long time. Let's go get some hot chocolate." Ike turns toward the tree where "Stan's body" was hanging. "You were worried for me, were you? I'm sorry, Ike. I shouldn't have done that."
Stan has a sad smile on his face - he wipes the remaining tears off of Ike's now-frostbitten face. In one second, Ike jumps on top of Stan; both of them landing in the snow, Ike on top of Stan.
"Don't leave me like that! You scared me! You were going to commit suicide, were you - at this tree...and...and…" Stan's face is hurt with the words like needles coming from Ike's mouth. Ike decides to close his mouth and instead bury his face in Stan's warm chest.
"Ike...I wasn't going to-"
SLAP
"No! Don't say anything!" Stan's face is filled with shock.. "Don't you ever give up on me like that! You bastard, don't you know other people care about you, too!? If you disappear, then...then…"
Stan is quiet now, the only sound left is the snow whirling around them and Ike's heavy breathing.
"Then...then I won't have anything to live for." Ike bows his head down, Stan's face is struck with awe.
"Ike-"
"I love you," Stan takes a big, deep breath in. "I've always had. And that will never change, Stan."
Quietly, Ike gets up off of Stan, removing the leftover sweat and tears covering part of his face. He flicks his hair to the right and starts walking away at a slow pace from Stan.
"You sound exactly like Kyle, Ike," Ike stops in his tracks, choosing to listen to the rest of his words. "Too bad I couldn't keep the real thing."
Ike clenches his fists tightly. Where exactly was this going, exactly? He was already pissed off at Stan, he didn't need him to say that he was just another cheap knock-off of his big brother.
He heard the soft crackling of the snow under Stan's feet, breaking and dissolving into small puddles of water onto his pants. Stan makes his way over to Ike, who was shuddering from the cold; wrapping his arms around Ike's shaking figure. The alien contact almost makes Ike's heart stop, giving into this seductive gesture.
"Stan…" Ike breathes out into a whisper, his words but a condensation cloud in a frosty wonderland.
"Ike...I'm really sorry," Stan says into Ike's ear, Ike gulping down a huge amount of saliva. The next moment, Stan is backing away from Ike, putting his hands into his pockets for warmth. "...Goodbye, Ike."
Ike doesn't even bother to turn around when he hears the snow crunching again. He already knows Stan's final answer.
Rejection hurts.