As if Shelby didn't have enough waiting to do with the results of the genetic testing, the first 3 weeks of Rachel's life feel agonizingly slow.
She knows that she'll one day wish for time to slow down where her daughter is concerned, but right now isn't that someday.
Despite everything Shelby's got going on, she takes to motherhood like a duck to water. The bond between her and Rachel runs unfathomably deep. Rachel's a very vocal baby, and she lets that be known anytime she's in anyone's arms but Shelby's.
Since Shelby is on maternity leave for 6 weeks, she spends most of her free time holding her daughter, much to Martha's ire.
"You're Spoiling her, Shelby! She'll never want to be put down after you go back to work," her mother had said.
Going back to work isn't even something that she wants to think about right now. Or ever. Leaving her baby long enough to go to the bathroom is hard on both parties; she can only imagine how torturous 8-hour days will be.
Hanukkah starts on Christmas Day and ends the day after New Year's. It's Rachel's first holiday season, and she's determined to make it a good one.
Her mother had bought little candle onesies for Rachel to wear over the course of the 8-night event. Shelby had gotten her a little New Year's outfit that practically slipped right off of her tiny infant's frame.
Since they're still staying with her parents, Shelby spends every night lighting candles on the menorah with her folks. Taylor, Jenn, and the boys join them all for the last 3 nights, which just so happen to include New Year's Eve and New Year's Day.
Shelby still doesn't get any better about other people holding Rachel, but she's actively trying. She just can't stand to hear her baby cry when she knows there's an easy fix for it. Listening to her daughter cry and doing nothing about it goes against every maternal instinct that she has, so she never does nothing.
No matter what her own mother says, she's Rachel's mother, and she'll make the decisions that she sees fit for her baby. She's had to draw that line a lot more since she's been staying with her parents, but the pros of being in her childhood home still outweigh the cons for the moment.
She wakes to a knot in her stomach and a screaming infant on the early morning of January 15th, 1995.
The day of her court hearing.
Her alarm wasn't set to go off for another hour and a half, but Rachel and her own nerves decided that 3.5 hours was enough rest for her to take on such a momentous day.
Besides, she'll take all the snuggle time with her baby that she can get before she has to leave her with Jenn for however the hell long this whole thing was going to take.
Carrie had called a few days ago to help prepare her with what to expect, how long it should take, how to address the judge, reminding her to let Mr. Wright do all of the talking, blah, blah, blah.
It's not that Shelby wasn't grateful to the woman for the tips; she just wanted all of this to be over and done with. The Berry men had washed their hands of Rachel several months ago, this should all just be a formality at this point.
At least that's what Shelby's hoping.
She changes and feeds Rachel, opting to do more skin-to-skin time to calm both herself and the baby until her alarm goes off and she has to start actually getting ready.
She'd laid out her outfit the night before. She's at that awkward stage where she doesn't want to wear maternity clothes anymore but can't fit into her previous wardrobe. Luckily her job calls for her to be dressed sharp and professionally every day, so Shelby had plenty of options to choose from.
She'd settled on a skirt and blouse, foregoing the blazer for fear that it would make her look too business-oriented and not maternal enough.
Is she being ridiculous? Maybe. But she's not willing to leave anything to chance when it comes to her baby. Her mother and Jenn had both agreed to the blazer-free look, so that's what she's going with.
When her alarm does go off, waking poor Rachel, Shelby has to soothe her baby as best as she can before setting her in her little bouncer seat on Shelby's bed where the infant will at least be able to see her mother, not that that will do much for the crying.
The crying is inevitable if Rachel is awake and Shelby isn't holding her.
Shelby and her parents had staggered their alarms so that one of them could be watching the baby while the other two showered. Shelby's mother had showered first, so she'd be keeping an eye on Rachel while Shelby took her own shower.
Rachel's screams carried over the stream of water right through the open door of Shelby's attached bathroom. It clawed at the mother's heart to hear it, but she had to keep reminding herself that this temporary pain was FOR Rachel. She could get through anything for Rachel.
Even an encounter with two men whom she'd hoped to never see or hear from again.
Shelby dries and styles her hair before applying her makeup with a newfound confidence. The confidence of a mother ready to go to battle for her child, even if that battle simply entailed her looking well put together before a judge.
She's a young single woman going up against two older men who have money. Regardless of Hiram's intentions to sign over full physical custody of Rachel, Shelby has to look cool and competent for the court. She has to give off the vibe that she could handle single motherhood because she CAN.
She's already doing it. Sure, she has some help, but that support system only serves to further her case for custody. That's what she's been telling herself over the past 3 weeks.
When she and her parents are ready and Taylor drops Jenn off to look after Rachel, the 3 Corcorans pile into Taylor's SUV to head to the courthouse.
There had been more than several tears shed, and they weren't Rachel's, but Shelby had finally managed to pass her sleeping infant off to her sister-in-law in one practiced, fluid motion.
Just as promised, Shelby had caught on to the whole mothering thing quickly.
Shelby finds herself wishing the judge could see moments like whenever she manages yet another mom victory.
They arrive at the courthouse with half an hour to spare. Shelby almost thinks she would've preferred cutting it close. It would leave her with less time to pace the halls as her family (and her lawyer) try to get her to sit down to no avail.
How can they expect her to SIT at a time like this? She's a ball of nervous energy. How can she not be? She's about to see the father of her child and his partner for the first time since they'd tried to intimidate her into terminating.
Into getting rid of Rachel.
She went through an entire pregnancy without them or their money. She certainly has no qualms about continuing on that way. In fact, she prefers it.
Her lawyer ushers her and her family into their courtroom when the time comes. She's relieved to see that the Berry men haven't arrived yet. For some reason, that makes her feel accomplished. Like she should be the obvious choice to have full custody of her daughter. She arrived first because she wanted it more.
Shelby's just barely seated on her side of the table when she catches movement out of the corner of her eye. There stand the Berry men, both clad in expensive-looking suits, with their shark of a lawyer leading Hiram to their own table.
Her stomach clenches against her will, and she can feel her mom lean forward to give her shoulder a reassuring squeeze. Her dad is busy glaring daggers at the men, not that anyone can blame him after everything.
Her lawyer motions for her to stand when the judge enters. She's then told to be seated almost just as quickly by said judge. The middle-aged woman looks like a no-nonsense type of woman with her glasses perched on the end of her nose, reading over whatever papers she's been given.
The judge finally looks up at both parties. "I'm assuming by the looks of this filing that we won't be having a knock-down-drag-out fight?"
Hiram's attorney stands to answer. "No, Your Honor. My client is fully ready to sign over full physical custody of Rachel Barbra Corcoran to her mother."
Shelby could kiss the woman right now, she's so relieved. She'd been having nightmares over the last few weeks where Hiram and Leroy pull a fast one and try to file for full custody of Rachel.
The only nightmares she's ever had in her lifetime that have been worse are the ones involving Rachel being sick.
While Shelby finds herself pondering how the men reacted to learning Rachel's name, Shelby's attorney stands at that point to address the judge.
"No theatrics, Your Honor. My client isn't asking for anything but full custody of her daughter."
The judge nods, satisfied with those answers. "After looking over the file and the background of the case, I'm inclined to agree that the matter of full custody should be granted to the mother."
Shelby feels like she could pass out in gratitude and relief. It doesn't last long with the judge's next words.
"However, I will be requiring that Mr. Berry pay child support to Ms. Corcoran in the amount of $300 per month for the upkeep and welfare of the child."
Hiram's lawyer jumps to her feet again. "Your Honor, with all due respect—"
The judge cuts her off. "With all due respect, Mrs. Lang, this is not about Mr. Berry's wishes. This is about the well-being of the child and her best interests. Frankly, you should be lucky the figure is so low, given your client's income. My decision has been made."
Shelby doesn't know how to feel. She's not sure that she even knows how to breathe right now. Sure, the extra money would be nice, but she really doesn't want anything from these men. She just wants a clean break. She looks to her lawyer for guidance, but he only nods with a smile.
The outcome is great for him and his firm's statistics. Why shouldn't he smile?
He seems to pick up on some of the woman's unease. "Don't worry, Shelby. I doubt Hiram will ever deliver the payment himself. They're often delivered through a 3rd party in more…acrimonious situations."
Acrimonious is a nice way of putting it, she thinks.
She turns to her parents and her brother, the two men still glaring at Hiram where he stands. Her mother, however, is smiling warmly at her, looking 10 years younger than when they'd first entered the courthouse.
Shelby smiles back at her mother's obvious relief.
This is a victory. Even if it didn't go exactly how Shelby had hoped, she'll take what good news she can get. The important part is that Rachel will be remaining with her, and that's really all that matters here.
Shelby foregoes her mother's suggested celebratory lunch in favor of getting back to her baby. She already feels sick to her stomach when they pull into the driveway and Shelby can hear Rachel wailing from somewhere inside.
Shelby runs to the door, flinging it open and making a beeline for the sink to wash her hands. She doesn't even have to look for Jenn because the frazzled woman is holding the baby out towards her before Shelby's even finished drying her hands.
"She's been changed, fed, rocked, sang to…" Jenn trails off as she vaguely recognizes the beginning lines of "Somewhere" from West Side Story.
It's not necessarily the singing itself that catches her attention but the absence of crying that allows her to hear it in the first place.
Rachel's been in Shelby's arms for less than a minute and is already starting to calm down.
Shelby looks at Jenn with a knowing smile before planting a kiss to Rachel's baby-soft hair. "I guess someone just missed her mommy."
Shelby is 5 weeks into her 6 weeks of maternity leave when she gets the call from her OB's office. Debbie, the receptionist, called her first thing in the morning, knowing that Shelby would want to know right away.
The results are in.
Shelby's hands shake, and she barely manages to hold on to her phone as she presses Debbie for as much information as she can get.
Unfortunately, Debbie can't tell her what's going to happen with her daughter. All Debbie can do is get her in for an appointment at the end of the day after Dr. Reynolds has attended to all of his expectant moms for the afternoon. He's agreed to squeeze Shelby in as a favor because he knows what this means to her and her family.
Shelby spends the day pacing the entire length of the house while holding Rachel. Nothing her mother says or does manages to get her to slow down and relax.
She can't possibly relax when she's so close to having answers.
The 3 older Corcorans pack up the littlest member and all head to Dr. Reynolds' office after James gets home. Both parents were determined to be there for Shelby regardless of the results, but they especially wanted to be present if the news wasn't good.
Shelby's leg keeps an impressive pace as it bounces like a jackhammer while they're in the waiting room. Martha is glad that Rachel is asleep in her carrier or else she may have been at risk for Shaken Baby Syndrome if her mother were currently holding her.
Martha decides it's best to leave Shelby to her own devices right now and seeks out her husband's hand for her own comfort. She's grateful that they can still find solace in one another after more than 30 years together.
"Shelby?" Dr. Reynolds calls out from his office.
Shelby is out of the chair like a bullet shot from a gun. She has to physically stop herself to turn around and go back to get Rachel's carrier. Luckily, the sleeping infant takes no offense at almost having been forgotten in her mother's frantic state.
Once they're all shepherded into the doctor's office, Shelby skips the pleasantries before Dr. Reynolds even has the chance to tell them to have a seat.
"Well?" Shelby asks. No, demands. She's been waiting the better part of a year for this information. She has no patience left for niceties.
"Shelby—" her mother goes to scold the younger woman only to be stopped by James' hand on her thigh, silently telling Martha to give their girl a break.
Dr. Reynolds takes a seat and folds his hands on the desk before him. "Rachel doesn't have Tay-Sachs."
Shelby collapses into a chair with a sob, her relief palpable in the small room.
"With that being said," Dr. Reynolds quickly decides to continue, "it turns out that she is a carrier for the disease. We knew there was a 50% chance of that happening. Believe me when I say that the odds were in her favor this time. This is good news, Shelby, all things considered."
Good news. She's been hearing that a lot lately from people trying to placate her.
It just so happens that right now she actually agrees. Rachel being a carrier for the disease doesn't come with a death sentence for the little girl just like it hadn't been a death sentence for Shelby or Hiram.
Sure, Rachel may find herself in a similar situation as Shelby one day, but at least the girl will be alive to see that day.
That's all Shelby had prayed for. She prayed for the chance to see her daughter grow up. They can deal with the rest as it comes. They can deal with anything thrown their way so long as Rachel is alive and well.
A/N: Should I end it here? Keep going? Write a sequel? Let me know your thoughts! I told you I wouldn't keep you waiting long. :)