Elida woke to the sound of screams. She'd turned the radio in her new room on at a low volume to help her fall asleep. Looking at the dial, she could see that it had turned to a different station than she'd set it to the night before. She listened curiously, trying to identify how many different voices were screaming. She couldn't quite tell.
Giving up, she turned the dial back to the station it had been on before and heard a familiar voice speaking jovially through the speaker, "Good morning sinners! I trust everyone is having a terrible day today. Today's program will include some of my personal favorite songs, followed by a big announcement this evening. Tune in at 7 for some hot tea that will knock your socks off! In the meantime, enjoy the show!" Alastor's voice sounded much more natural coming from the radio than it did coming from him in person. When he was finished speaking, a song began, stating that "You're never fully dressed without a smile."
Yawning, Elida set her hooves on the ground and stood up, trying to remember which box she'd packed her clothes in. It would take a few days to unpack everything. She'd taken everything with her, fully expecting to live here for quite a while. Alastor's doll creature things had stacked her belongings in the least convenient way possible. They were placed on top of each other in the shape of a pentagram right in front of the door. It had taken a solid effort just to get into the room, by which point everything had been knocked over and jostled about. The boxes in the middle were tough to reach, and the labels were all over the place.
Finally, she found one labeled, 'Dresses' and moved it to the bed. Opening it up she dug through the fabric until she found one she liked. A quick glance in the mirror, a brush through her hair, and she was ready to get this hotel project off the ground. She opened her door, only to see Nifty rushing up to her.
"Hi! Alastor says breakfast is ready." Her sharp teeth smiled up at Elida until Nifty caught a glimpse of Elida's room. "Oh my gosh! What a mess! This just won't do," She scuttled into the room and began manically sorting and emptying boxes, unabashedly going through all of Elida's belongings. "No no no no," she muttered to herself as she ran about.
Deciding this was not a battle worth fighting, Elida let the little maid do her thing. If anything important got broken or went missing she would deal with that issue when it came up. "Thanks Nifty," She greeted before making her way down the hall to the elevator. They'd put her on the top floor at the very end of the hall. Once she figured out which window was hers from the outside, she'd probably just fly up and down instead, but for now her balcony was blocked from all the boxes.
When the elevator opened back up, Elida was greeted with the pleasant aroma of bacon. She followed it to the kitchen, where she saw Alastor standing over a stove, flipping pancakes with an unnecessary but amusing level of flair, that toothy grin still plastered on his face. The others were seated at a table together, munching away in sleepy silence.
"Good morning," She greeted, "Can I help at all? Any dishes need scrubbed?"
Everyone looked up. A few of them looked surprised to see her, as if they hadn't expected her to last the night. "Salutations," A cheerful radio voice greeted, "I have this well in hand. You just take a seat and relax." He pulled out a chair for her and she sat down politely.
"How did you sleep," Charlie asked, "Was the room okay?"
"It was perfect, thank you."
Alastor placed a warm breakfast plate in front of her and a glass of orange juice. "Enjoy."
She smiled up at him, "Thanks! I appreciate it."
"So, doll face," Angel spoke with his mouth full, "You say you're here to help, but I can't help but wonder just how the fuck you expect to do that. You got some kind 'a plan or what?"
"Fuck, Angel, give her a minute will you," Husker scolded, "She just got up."
She took care to swallow her mouthful before responding, washing it down with a sip of juice. "Not yet," She admitted, "I have a few theories to work off of, but first I need to collect more information." Alastor sat to join them. His bacon was raw.
Elida continued, "Aside from my potions shop, before I can implement any major plans or changes, I need to see what you did with Sir Pentious. That way we can identify what led to his redemption and get to work on repeating it. He did give me the rundown from his end, as well as a… graphic… description of Hell's state of affairs. So, for the first week or so at least I am going to do nothing but observe and follow your lead. I also need to get to know Hell, its structure, culture, and the people in it more intimately than Sir Pentious could properly articulate."
"Er, with all due respect your holiness," Angel responded, "It's pretty rough out there. It aint gonna be like your pearly gates and prince charmings. People down here will hurt ya just for the fun of it. It might not be the best idea to go prancin' around on your lonesome, especially for someone as drop-dead-fuckable as you. People will try to take advantage, ya know?"
She didn't like anyone describing her as 'fuckable,' but chose to ignore the comment. She'd likely hear far worse than that over the next few years. In response, she only nodded, "I knew that risk when I signed up for this. But I can't let the danger stop me from trying. Not when so many lives are on the line if I can't deliver."
Vaggie looked at her in suspicion, "What does that mean?"
Elida frowned sadly, looking down at the butter melting on her pancake stack, "We have a few years to show Heaven repeated results before Seraphim starts the exterminations again with Lute as the army's new leader. She only wanted to give you two, but because I was the only angel in all of Heaven willing to help, I was able to negotiate up to five. And - I'm not supposed to tell you this, but I think you need to know what we're facing here - she said that if we can't make the hotel work by then, the extermination will be bigger than ever before to make up for lost time. I think she plans to wipe everyone out and start over, including the hellborn. I'll do everything I can to stall her if we need more time, but at the end of the day, I can't control her. Technically right now she's my boss."
It hadn't escaped Elida's notice that Seraphim had only said these things to her when Emily was not in the room.
Everyone stopped chewing, staring at her in shock, except for Alastor, who continued to eat his breakfast as if they were discussing the weather. She met each of their eyes one by one, only speaking after she had allowed them to soak the information in, "I'll tell you this though; While I'm confident we'll succeed in rehabilitating enough souls to convince Sera to keep the program going, I have an idea for if things do go south. But it's incredibly dangerous for me, not to mention being a long shot, so it's only a last resort."
"More dangerous than moving to Hell?" Vaggie questioned, "What is it? And why the fuck would you give up heaven in the first place for a bunch of demons, even temporarily?"
"Demons are human too," was all Elida had to say about it. She chose not to elaborate further in case word somehow got back to Sera. She couldn't show that card until she knew there was no other way.
Behind his 'Oh Deer!' coffee mug, which Elida found hilarious despite the heavy conversion, Alastor's eyebrow raised, ever so slightly. It was gone before anyone noticed. He watched the pale blue doe finish her breakfast quietly. He wanted to see how much he could pry out of her. If he offered to escort her through Hell, he could prod at her to see if he could get her to open up about her mysterious last resort. It might end up being valuable leverage in the future. And it might be fun to try to corrupt her, which would require spending a lot of time together.
It would also have the added benefit of pissing off quite a few people. His smile deepened as he thought about how confused and angry his rivals would be seeing him casually walking around with an ambassador of the enemy. They'd want to know who she was. It would get a lot of people's attention, which could result in some hilarious fights, as well as boost his station's ratings. That, followed by announcing the hotel's official success with Sir Pentious that evening, should create quite a stir. Vox was going to have a fit.
"I'll tell you what," Alastor's grinned at her, leaning forward in his chair, "I would like to offer to personally escort you about Hell while you get to know it. I'll take you on the grand tour and ensure your safety for as long as you remain here." He didn't offer it as a deal. That would come later, when she'd let her guard down.
Husker's face darkened, but he didn't say anything. He knew better than to interfere with Alastor when he was up to something. But he wondered if that poor girl would end up mysteriously going missing before the week was out.
Charlie didn't seem half as suspicious. "That's so sweet of you," she chirped, "What do you think, Elida?"
Husker's subtle response didn't go unnoticed by the clever witch, but she agreed anyway, "That would be lovely. When do we start?"
He appeared suddenly behind her, despite having been sitting in the chair on the other end of the table only a moment ago. She barely managed not to jump. "No time like the present," he remarked, offering a hand to help her out of her chair. Allowing him to help her up, she offered a comforting smile to the others, refusing to allow the frightened pounding in her heart to keep her from doing what she'd set out to do.
Alastor summoned a red limousine with windows dark enough to prevent Hell's denizens from being able to see what the strange white glow inside it was coming from. This was a rare opportunity to make a spectacular first entrance and he would be damned – again – if he wasted it. Opening the door and offering a gracious hand to Elida as she entered the vehicle, he told the driver to take them to the hourglass. It was ironic, crowded, and high-profile. Just right for what he wanted.
"What's the hourglass," Elida asked, peering through the window. He could see she was nervous, but only because he had become an expert at reading masked body language. To the untrained eye, she looked relaxed and confident. He noticed that despite the famous invulnerability of angels, she had buckled her seatbelt.
He leaned back, resting his neck on his hands and crossing his legs casually, "Why, that's how we track when the next exterminations will begin. It's a reminder of Heaven's genocidal ruthlessness and a constant source of fear for Hell's citizens." There was an odd cheer in his voice at that. "We're going there to make a splash."
He thought she'd argue, but she once again surprised him with her reaction, "That's a good idea. It would be a clear visual representation of Heaven's endorsement of the hotel. I need to be high profile for this to work." She didn't like the idea of fame, but it was necessary. Her head tilted adorably, ears twitching a bit as an idea popped into her head, "Hey, what about your radio station?"
"What about it?" He wiped his monocle clean on his sleeve.
"Maybe after I've gotten oriented, we could do a weekly segment. There's a lot to talk about regarding Heaven, Hell, morality, eternal consequences, and so on. What do you think?"
He narrowed his eyes. He didn't fancy the idea of talking about love and light on his precious broadcast, "Maybe."
She didn't push, accepting that answer as the best she'd get. He didn't really know her yet, after all. She couldn't ask for too much too soon. She turned back to the window, watching the buildings pass by. It was… gross. Lots of blood, smoke, and corpses. She thought about what ingredients she'd need to design a potion of self-perfuming that would change rancid smells into pleasant ones for the drinker. No one needed perfume in Heaven; Angels all had sweet and pleasant natural aromas, but it could be a fun recipe to make now that there's a reason for it.
She was pulled from her thoughts by radio static, "So tell me, what does one do once they cross the pearly gates? Stand around playing the harp all day?" His voice was condescending.
She let out a little snort, "Ha, no. There's a whole world up there. What you do depends on what brings you personal fulfillment. For me, it was my potions. I wanted to make people's lives better, which is a high bar up there. But I liked the challenge. Other people fade away and melt into the trees, enjoying the quiet. Others spend centuries in the great library studying topics they enjoy like history, philosophy, or whatever they like. For the romantics there's a matchmaking service to help you find someone to spend your eternity with. They've been harassing me to join, but I get more than enough wannabe suitors for my liking. For people who still have friends or family in the living world, there are services that provide scrolls that will get you to Earth for a short time as a sort of ghost-like spirit. I use that to check in on my parents and that little girl I died for now and again." She looked back at the red demon across from her her, "Maybe you'll see it all for yourself one day."
That drew a sinister chuckle from him that made the fur on her ears prickle a bit, "I doubt that my dear."
She studied his narrow face. Hopefully with enough time to get to know this odd man she'd learn to read him. His eyes would change despite the grin, but it would take effort to decipher what his micro expressions really meant. He let her stare; He was used to being watched. It came with being an overlord and a showman. He stared silently right back, both intently studying the other with narrowed eyes for the remainder of the drive. Deer were excellent at keeping still when they wanted to.
They didn't move when the driver opened their door to let them out. He watched the staring contest uncomfortably, waiting for them to get out of the limo so he could get the fuck out of there. They didn't move until he cleared his throat. Alastor stayed in his position, but the woman with him turned her head gently to the driver, offering a sweet smile that made him feel a bit light and fluttery. "Thank you for driving," She said, her voice a twinkling lilt. He wanted to stare at her now, too. The driver blushed, flustered.
Deciding he'd won, Alastor finally allowed himself to move, exiting the vehicle and offering a polite hand to assist his guest. "Welcome, my lovely angel, to Hell!" He offered a wide gesture, bringing attention to the several-story-high hourglass towering above them. The driver had brought them as far as the limo could reach with the crowd of demons populating the square. They were all studying the hourglass, arguing with one another as to why the 3 numbers at the top were stuck on 777. Elida knew that wasn't accurate. They had 1,825 days left until the next extermination, if it ever came at all. But that was one digit too many for the structure. The sands were slow, but still falling.
It didn't take long for the crowd to notice Alastor and Elida standing there, arm in arm beside the red limousine. They were a striking duo, one dark and frightening, the other light and soft. The contrast between them made it hard not to gawk. Seeing an angel show up in Hell so soon after the battle of Hazbin brought a tense hush to the square. Everyone was staring now.
Alastor waited for Elida to make her move, curious what she'd do with the attention. Releasing his arm, she walked forward, eyes fixed on the hourglass, pointedly ignoring the crowd. The demons parted before her, seeming almost spellbound. For all he knew they very well could be, though he hadn't seen her cast anything. His smile remained fixed on his face as she walked, her every movement deliberate and graceful.
When she reached the structure, she opened her wings and rose into the air, turning to face the crowd, and stretching out her arms in a gesture of power and welcome. She allowed her natural glow to increase, making her seem like the living embodiment of a winter sunrise. When she spoke, her voice remained gentle and soothing, but had risen to a volume that easily carried across the entire block and then some. Alastor would not have been surprised if people halfway across the pentagram could hear her.
"Citizens of Hell, I bring tidings of peace and comfort."
Alastor really hoped she wouldn't spoil his announcement that he'd planned for his show later that day.
She continued, "Heaven has heard your cries and has decided to open its doors to any soul who chooses to walk the path of redemption. I have been sent to guide these souls through their journey, by way of Princess Morningstar's Hazbin Hotel. Inside those doors, you will find safety, healing, and relief from the pain you have endured." She turned, stretching her hands to the hourglass, sending a sparkling beam of ice straight to the neck, plugging the hole and stopping the sands from flowing altogether. Turning back to the crowd once again, she finished her announcement with, "For as long as I reside here, the exterminations will cease. Take comfort in this, and know that your souls' burning can finally end, if you wish it."
She ended her show with a flash of blinding light, disappearing in a puff of snowflakes that fell slowly onto the crowd below. Alastor felt a cold spot on his neck and a small tug on a lock of his hair. It was followed by a whisper in his ear, "Let's make a dramatic exit."
She had shrunk to about 3 inches high, standing on his shoulder and hiding behind his angled haircut. His grin widened in amusement. Twirling his cane in one final flourish, he climbed back into the limo and had the driver take them out of the square.
"Spectacular performance, my dear! They'll be talking about that for weeks!" He was thoroughly amused.
She stayed small, settling on his right shoulder and kicking her feet absently, "I think that went well, but we'll have to wait and see how people take it. It wasn't too much?"
"Not at all! Freezing the sands was an excellent touch." He hadn't been that entertained in a good long while. He was not letting this doe out of his sight.
When they'd driven a sufficient distance away, Alastor had the driver pull over and let them out. Now that she had made her entrance, she needed to be seen. Particularly, she needed to be seen with him. "I think you will get a better feel for Hell if we walk a bit, don't you agree?" He stepped out of the car and held a hand up to his shoulder for her to step off.
She flew to the ground and regained her normal size. "Sure. Is it far?"
"A bit," He admitted, "But I know a lovely little deli that we can stop at for lunch on the way back." He started forward, expecting her to follow. She did. They walked in silence as she took her surroundings in, Alastor making sure to take her down streets that had lots of security cameras, just to make sure Vox would be well and truly riled up.
It didn't take long for some slimy lowlife demon to try to grab her.