As everyone trekked through the snowy mountains, Double-D couldn't help but be curious about one of his fellow Vault Hunters.
"Zer0, I must ask...what kind of person even are you?"
"You know, I'm actually curious about that myself." Gaige chimed in. "You look human enough but you got four fingers. Were you just born with them or are you an alien robot ninja warrior?"
"I do not disclose/I prefer to stay hidden/to protect loved ones."
"You got family and friends waitin' for ya back home, eh?" Scout noted. "I can understand that. I got a Ma and eight brothers."
"All of us have loved ones either waitin' for us..." Engineer frowned sadly. "Or can't go back too..."
"Keep your wits about you, minions - this glacier's run by a bandit named Captain Flynt," Claptrap warned as he led the way. "The jerk kept me as his torture plaything for a few months. We played games like 'Dodge The Blowtorch', and 'Don't Get Dunked Into The Pool Of Acid.' I was really good at the first one."
"Yikes, tough call..." Axton winced.
As the crew made it to the cliffs looking over the area of Liar's Berg, they could see a few Bullymongs prowling around the front gates. Making their way down, Ben decided to clear the way as his tattoos glowed a white-blue, causing the surrounding snow to dance around him before attacking the Bullymongs and flash-freezing them, allowing the others to shatter them into icy chunks with their weapons.
"Attention, people of Pandora! Handsome Jack here, offering a million bucks to whoever brings me the heads of the Vault Hunters who just arrived in Liar's Berg." Handsome Jack's voice suddenly came on. "Oh, and I'm still offering a reward for Roland, the mass-murdering leader of the Crimson Raiders. Good hunting, bandits!"
"Looks like Jack is on our asses now." Eddy noted.
"Looks like it. At least this won't be boring in any way." Maya smirked.
"A million bucks?! Alright, boys - this is Captain Flynt! I want you to find those Vault Hunters and bring 'em to me! NOW!" Another voice rang on the ECHO line.
"I take it THAT'S Captain Flynt?" Ben asked Claptrap.
"Yup, I'd recognize that deranged asshole's voice anywhere!"
"Well, the welcoming committee is waiting for us, people!" Axton said as he bypassed the front gate leading into the settlement and charged at the bandits that were coming out to attack.
"The true world revealed/weaknesses now known to me/time to go to work." Zer0 said as he turned invisible, Spy doing the same.
"Hey, Hammerlock!" Claptrap happily called out as he joined in on the firefight.
"Spectacular - first Captain Flynt's bandits attack, then Claptrap shows up! I must have been horrifically cruel to puppies in a previous life to deserve this kind of treatment." A British accented voice spoke on the ECHO line in an exasperated tone. "I say, Vault Hunters - could you kill Flynt's men for me?"
"Already on it!" Ben said, taking a few potshots with the Dahl Basic Repeater since it was the only gun he had on hand.
"Hey, minion!" Claptrap called out before tossing Ben something, which he caught before inspecting it. "That's a Hyperion Proactive Bitch SMG! Complete with Corrosive Element Modification!"
"Where did you find that?!" Gaige asked as she took cover before summoning Deathtrap to take care of the bandits gunning at her.
"It was in the barge! I found it in the weapon box but decided to give it to Minion Ben over there as a gift for carrying me when Knuckle Dragger blindsided me!"
Ben decided to test out his new gun and fired at a Marauder who was shooting at Eddy and Double-D. The bandit screamed as his flesh burned and melted into a seeping pile of acidic green ooze.
"Damn, that's hardcore...I LIKE IT!"
Growling suddenly alerted the group as Claptrap began to panic.
"Oh no - BULLYMONGS!"
"Ach, I've got this, lads!" Demoman laughed as he had been running around setting up sticky bombs with his Sticky Launcher. As soon as the Bullymongs got in range, Demoman pressed the detonation trigger and the beasts all exploded into a rain of bloody chunks and limbs. "Oh, they're goin' ta have to glue you back together...IN HELL!"
"Ah, this gives Rolf ample time to take care of the nefarious thieves and killers!" Rolf said as he blew a bandit's head off with a point-blank shotgun blast.
"DAMMIT! This ain't over, grinders." Captain Flynt cursed once he realized all his men were dead.
"Hey, Hammerlock! Since my minions and I just saved your town, you wanna do your bestie Claptrap a favor and open the gate for us?!" Claptrap called out.
Hammerlock sighed. "Yes, I suppose I am in your debt now, aren't I? Come to my shack but let Claptrap go first."
"I knew Hammerlock would come around eventually," Claptrap said happily. "Me and him are like two peas in a pod! Two bullets in a mag! Two cannibal midgets in a fat guy's ribca-!"
Claptrap's words were interrupted as he was suddenly electrocuted by the electric fence and fell over in a dead faint.
"Apologies, but when Claptrap speaks, I feel my brain cells slowly killing themselves, one by one." Hammerlock apologized. "I shall be out directly."
The door to a nearby shed opened up and a man dressed as a big game hunter with glasses that had one of the lenses broken marched out before giving a salute with his cyborg arm.
"A pleasure to meet you, Vault Hunter. I am Sir Hammerlock. At your service."
"Fantastic, a fellow gentleman in this god-forsaken place." Spy smiled in relief as he uncloaked, having finished backstabbing a Marauder that had managed to escape the initial firefight.
"I came out here to research the Bullymongs for my almanac, but Captain Flynt's men trapped me on this glacier. Many thanks for disposing of them, by the way - to survive a direct run-in with Handsome Jack AND defeat Captain Flynt's bandits? Unheard of!" Hammerlock noted as he opened the gate for everyone. "I'm headed to Sanctuary, myself - from what I hear, the Crimson Raiders there could use heroes like you."
"Appreciate it, Doc." Engineer smiled.
"Ha-HA! I am ALIIIIIVE!" Claptrap cried as he shot back up to a standing position.
Hammerlock groaned. "Oh, dear. He's talking again."
"Now that we're all together, it's time to join up with the Crimson Raiders in Sanctuary! This glacier's full of nothing but murderers or jerkbags, like that Hammerlock dude!"
"I'm standing right here, DUDE," Hammerlock said with a roll of his eyes before turning his attention to the others. "Now that Liar's Berg is clear, I might as well turn on the main power - this town's full of things that may be of use to a group of go-getting slayers of men like yourselves."
"Minions, roll out!" Claptrap said.
"Might as well split up. It'll cover more ground that way." Ben suggested.
"Si, this nino gets it!" Salvador smirked.
*Group 1: Ben, Maya, Gaige, Double-D, and Spy*
"I see our fearless leader Jack is looking for you. Charming fellow, isn't he? Spouts drivel about bringing peace to the frontier then slaughters unarmed men, women, and children like it was going out of style." Hammerlock scoffed. "I'm spouting exposition again, aren't I? Apologies!"
"No problemo, handsome," Gaige smirked as Double-D gave his friend a look.
"You do realize he's twice your age, correct?"
"Hey, I love a man with robotics."
"I've only heard how much of an asshole Jack is from stuff my...caretakers told me back on Athens." Maya noted.
"I had heard of Hyperion's exploits myself while I was still a mercenary for Mann Co," Spy added. "I can read between the lines and tell how repoussant it was just from the looks of things."
"Good lord, and how come he's allowed to get away with all this?!" Double-D asked, aghast.
"That's the Morton's Fork, my boy," Hammerlock said. "Jack has actually brought SOME semblance of order to certain parts of Pandora but only those who willingly submit themselves to his rule. Everybody else is merely bandit scum that needs to be wiped out."
"Charming..." Ben muttered.
"So, how are you enjoying Liar's Berg? This town used to have a spectacular amount of hustle and/or bustle before its denizens fled to Sanctuary to escape Jack's army. Most of them, anyway. Captain Flynt's men killed anyone who stayed."
"Fantastique..." Spy sighed. "As if this planet could not be more depraved."
The group decided to explore the town when Double-D noticed something strange half-buried in the snow. He fished it out and saw it was an ECHO audio log. Curiously, he pressed play.
"We've hijacked the train that runs through The Dust. If all goes well, we should get to Sanctuary in a day's time." A woman's voice spoke. "Hyperion hasn't diverted any troops from New Haven to pursue us, and a sandstorm has devoured their nearest frontier town. We just need-"
A crashing sound was heard as Double-D jumped, Hammerlock coming over to see what was going on.
"Oh, dammit - everyone! Get away from the windows!"
"I say, that's one of Helena Pierce's audio logs! She was a lieutenant in the Crimson Raiders - the anti-Hyperion resistance. I'd be very interested to know what became of her." Hammerlock said. "If you could find the rest of those audio logs, I would be more than happy to pay for them."
"Hey, anything nice is worth having." Maya said as everyone split up to look for the other Audio Logs. Eventually, they all came back and piled them together. Gaige and Double-D used their technical know-how to splice the Audio Logs together.
"Hey, everybody! How are ya? Jack here!" The voice of Handsome Jack was heard.
"NOBODY MOVE." A deep booming cybernetic voice roared out.
"What is the meaning of this?" Helena was heard asking.
"I'm sorry, what was your name?"
"Pierce."
"Well, Ms. Pierce - and please don't tell me it's 'Mrs. Pierce' and break my heart - this train doesn't belong to you." Jack said. "So why don't you turn around and face me, pumpkin?"
"This train was commandeered legally under the -"
"Holy nutballs! What happened to your frickin' face?!" Jack laughed.
"How rude..." Double-D noted.
"Indeed, Handsome Jack's sense of humor is...crude, to put it lightly." Hammerlock said.
"Oh yeah? How about this - lady? - I don't even know what to call you: you tell me why you look like you headbutted a belt sander, and I'll let all of you go right now." Jack said, giving an ultimatum.
"My husband gave me a skag pearl ring. The pearl released hunger-inducing pheromones."
"Oh. You know what? I am so sorry. I - I just... Forgive me." Jack apologized, but the ones listening to the log could tell he was insincere. "Where's your husband now?"
"He's dead."
"That is a heartbreaker, but..." Jack began before a gunshot was heard, followed by the sound of a head exploding like an overripe watermelon. "You got something in common with him now at least!"
"Dude, what the hell was that?!" Gaige asked, appalled. "He said he was gonna let her go!"
Hammerlock shook his head sadly. "Jack has a way of either twisting his promises or not going through with them at all."
"Hohohoho... holy crap! Did you see her head?" Jack laughed hysterically as if he saw the funniest thing ever seen by man while the people who were with Helena were screaming in terror. "It was like - PBBLLT! Wilhelm? Kill these savages."
"UNDERSTOOD." The cybernetic voice, apparently belonging to Wilhelm, said before gunfire was heard, followed by the agonizing screams of innocent people being slaughtered like pigs.
"Jesus fucking Christ..." Maya breathed out as Ben silently made a sign of the cross.
"Merde..." Spy cursed.
"H-He just murdered them all..." Double-D whispered out as Gaige did her best to support her friend.
"Shame. A real shame." Hammerlock said sadly, giving a silent prayer before turning to the others. "I apologize that my request led to such an unpleasant revelation..."
Double-D, still shaking in horror and disbelief at the complete disregard for human life Jack had demonstrated, was handed a Tediore Target Handgun by Hammerlock, which he numbly took.
"Well, guess this just gives us more reasons to kill this asshole." Ben growled.
"Save a piece of him for me, my boy. I'm going to gut that man like a cornish game hen..." Spy snarled.
*Group 2: Axton, Salvador, Eddy, Scout, Soldier, and Medic*
"Three points!" Axton cheered as he shot down a Bullymong.
"Ja! Very good!" Medic complimented.
"Though Captain Flynt killed everyone in Liar's Berg, I see no reason that wild Bullymongs should lolligag about the place, disrespecting the memories of the former townsfolk." Hammerlock chimed in on the ECHO line. "If you could clear the town of them, that would be most gentlemanly."
"Oh yeah, something to do!" Scout cheered.
"Let's split up, gang!" Salvador suggested.
Axton, Salvador, and Scout went one way while Eddy, Soldier, and Medic went the other way. The first trio jumped over the bridge and was immediately accosted by Bullymongs. Axton simply threw out his turret and took cover.
"Have you met the missus?"
The Bullymongs were torn apart by the turret's fire while Salvador cackled and shot down whatever stragglers were left by dual-wielding his guns.
"How are you doing that?" Scout asked.
Salvador smirked. "Because I'm a Gunzerker, nino!"
"That's one area free of Bullymongs. This would be an even greater achievement if anyone in Liar's Berg were still alive to celebrate your victory, but still - well done!" Hammerlock cheered.
"Ha! I'm not even winded!" Scout smirked.
With the other trio, Soldier was screaming as he blew up Bullymongs left and right before grabbing a Monglet and ripping it in half with his bare hands.
"Soldier! Try to keep them in one piece!" Medic chided. "I need them for study!"
"Geez, you're an animal, man!" Eddy winced as he shot down the last couple of Bullymongs in the area.
"Most efficacious! Bullymongs will think twice about raiding peaceful cities in the future. Hopefully." Hammerlock said. "Eddy, was it? Come over to where I am and I'll give you one of the guns I had stored in the shack."
"Woo-Hoo!" The diminutive Ed-Boy cheered as he ran back to Hammerlock, who walked into the shed and then came out with an assault rifle.
"Take this Vladof Severe Rocketeer assault rifle for your troubles."
Eddy cradled the gun. "I'll take VERY good care of it."
"Oh dear..." Double-D sighed as he watched this going down.
"Your friend certainly enjoys his guns," Maya noted to Gaige, who shook her head with a smile.
"He gets it from his Grandpa."
"Please make Captain Flynt's death as prolonged as possible, would you? Quite the douche, he is." Hammerlock asked.
"From what we've heard of him so far, I'll make sure to mow his ass like grass!" Eddy grinned.
*Group 3: Zer0, Krieg, Ed, Demoman, and Pyro*
The five were exploring outside Liar's Berg in order to get a feel of the land when Hammerlock contacted them.
"If you are to survive out here for any length of time, you'll need a better shield. I humbly suggest paying a visit to the old Crimson Raider safehouse. You'll need to take the elevator up there."
"SEARCH FOR THE SHIELDS! THEY WILL PROTECT OUR MINDS FROM THE PROBE MEN!" Krieg shouted as he ran in the direction of the safehouse.
"Hey, wait for us, Krieg!/Do not go leaving us here/while you take the fun," Zer0 called out.
A few bandits were roaming the abandoned safehouse but Krieg easily slaughtered them all before they knew what hit them. As the rest of the group caught up, they noticed that the lever for the elevator was empty.
"Ach! It's not powered, lads!" Demoman exclaimed.
"Of course, I forgot - the safehouse power box stopped working after Claptrap attempted to... integrate with it." Hammerlock explained.
Claptrap laughed nervously. "Ah, what a kidder! Just get a new fuse for the elevator, and ignore what he said about the power box."
Heading over, the group saw more bandits roaming around and took care of them. Ed threw a bandit into the nearby electric fence and he was shocked into a pile of ash.
"Ooh! There's a fuse on the other side of that electric fence." Claptrap said. "Just run through the fence - you won't take damage if you go fast enough!"
"Run into the fence!" Ed laughed as he ran into the electric fence, getting shocked but being surprisingly unharmed.
"THE FENCE TICKLES MY NIPPLES!" Krieg cried as he ran into the fence next, getting shocked but also looking no worse for wear.
Pyro let out a muffled cry of excitement as he ran into the fence as well, also not looking too hurt. Then again, his asbestos suit must have insulated him.
"Ah, you boys are daft!" Demoman sighed.
Zer0 shared in Demoman's sentiment and used his sniper rifle to destroy the fuse box, shutting down the electric fence. Pyro soon found the capacitor...in an outhouse and carried it over.
"Don't show that to Double-D! He doesn't like icky germs!" Ed warned.
The group returned to the safehouse and plugged in the capacitor to the powerbox, riding up the elevator and came across a medical vendor owned by a guy named 'Dr. Zed'.
"Got the elevator working, have you? Great! Now, simply ascend to the safehouse and buy a shield. This used to be a sizable hub for the resistance until everyone heard the Hyperion army approaching and fled to Sanctuary."
"Ay, anyone got any cash on ya?" Demoman asked.
Ed took off his jacket and shook it, causing a platinum bar, a diamond, a billfold amounting to $20,000, and the holy grail came out. The others looked surprised at the treasures before Ed shoved them all into the vending machine, causing it to overload and expel a whole crapton of shields for everyone.
"Ah! This'll be plenty for everyone, lads!"
PROTECTION FROM THE PEN PEOPLE!" Krieg shouted.
*Group 4: Rolf, Sniper, Engineer, and Heavy
The group was in the same area as Group 3, just looking around the outside area surrounding Liar's Berg when Hammerlock contacted them.
"You've seen my hat, yes? It is the hat of a gentleman. And yet, it's missing something - some je ne sais quois. I think some Bullymong fur might do the trick, if you could bring me some."
"Ah, Rolf has honed the art of shaving fur from the bullying monglets!" Rolf said. "Come! Rolf shall show you how it is done!"
"This outta be interestin'..." Sniper noted as he, Engineer, and Heavy followed.
The group passed by Group 3, who were coming back with the shields. After getting some shields for themselves, they headed into where Group 3 had taken out the bandits and found some Bullymongs trying to take over the territory.
"Watch as Rolf shows the traditions passed down by his Great Nano!" With a pounce, the Son of a Shepard was upon the closest Bullymong. "SHAPLAKA!"
The beast cried as it tried to buck Rolf off, but his grip was firm as he stabbed its neck and dug as deep as he could, blood gushing out before the Bullymong went still. Rolf then carefully began cutting the fur off the Bullymong as Engineer, Sniper, and Heavy rushed in.
"Think we got it, son!" Engineer smiled. "COWBOY UP!"
The other Bullymongs were beaten down by the three mercenaries. Sniper's own expertise as a hunter proved useful as he used his kukri machete to cut the fur while Heavy just tore it off with his bare hands.
"Ooh - you are collecting Bullymong fur? I LOVE that stuff! It's soft, warm, and really good at absorbing robot tears! Once you're done collecting all the fur, why doncha bring it to me instead of Hammerlock?" Claptrap spoke up.
"There's plenty of fur for everybody." Engineer pointed out.
"Sharing is caring, da?" Heavy voiced in agreement.
After collecting enough Bullymong fur, the two returned to Hammerlock and Claptrap, giving them enough fur for both of them. Hammerlock used the fur as a little added bling for his hat while Claptrap used the fur given to him...as a mohawk.
"FUR MOHAWK, BABY! WOOHOO!" He then reached into his inner compartment and threw out a Torgue Double Lovin' Pounder shotgun, which Heavy took. "Here, I found this on the hands of a dead Vault Hunter! It's still fresh! You can still smell the sadness on it!"
"Hmmm, is nice."
"A trillion thanks, my friends! You've helped a foolish old man look far more badass than he deserves. I'm referring to myself, of course." Hammerlock smiled as he gave a Jakobs Kull Diaub sniper rifle, which Sniper took for himself.
The twenty-something Vault Hunters were doing a steady job at building up their gear and reputation on Pandora. It was slow going right now, but with each successful mission, they had more confidence they could handle the challenges ahead.
We meet Sir Hammerlock and do the Southern Shelf Side Missions with our heroes splitting up to handle all of them easily. More situations like this will arise here and there as the story progresses but we'll have plenty of fun while doing so!
Also, if any of you Borderlands fans are reading this, what kind of Skill Trees would you give the characters?