Chapter Thirteen

Reunited and Realized

As they stood in the boiler room face to face she was awaiting what Sean was going to say. She didn't say anything but simply let him talk. Sometimes she realizes she doesn't know what to say in some occasions and just simply goes on and on and she wants to give him the floor to talk things out.

"Look, Emma, before you say anything, I wanted to apologize about what happened, I shouldn't have said anything." He started with. " I know it's no excuse, I do feel horrible and extremely guilty. I just was just over Alex was grilling me about things and I let it slip in the heat of the moment, like she knew and just needed me to admit something. I know it was extremely personal, you told me in confidence and if you forgive me I won't make you regret it."

Emma was surprised at Sean for an extremely heartfelt and genuine apology. He added, "I loved how things were this weekend between us, and I was kind of hoping we could get back to the beginning of things before I screwed up. Please, please forgive me."

"Apology accepted, and I suppose on a second chance,"

Her voice trailed off as she was cut off before she could say anymore as he interjected, he humored and admitted, "Em, I believe we're on our third." He continued to softly say to her, "I mean the first time we dated we ended because I pushed you, the second time we dated I let Jay and his cronies get into my head, and I don't want others to be the reason again. I don't want to lose you again. I talked to Alex, she was more mad at Jay than she was at you."

"True, you have a good memory, well the third time is the charm, at least I hope it will be."

"It will be." Sean beamed softly. Before things can get too heated between them Sean warned her, "Okay let's skeddaddle before we get caught in here by your step-dad or another teacher."

Instead, it was Ellie who appeared as they tried to sneak back into the hallway, Sean knew better than to say anything as she saw them off. She ran into the bathroom and started to cry and Paige happened to see the exchange. She was surprised to see someone like Ellie get all hurt over a guy but her reasons were likely valid. She remembered seeing Sean and Ellie in the halls when they were together and on various outings with their friend group because Paige was friendly with Marco as well as Ellie, but she'd never seen that side of her.

So Paige being Paige, naturally followed her in the girl's bathroom, "Ellie."

"News sure travels fast." Ellie sniffled shaking her head between sobs crying, "I misread so much. I mean I don't understand what he, what Sean even sees in that girl."

"What girl?"

"Emma Nelson! They're so back together and it seemed like he gave me false hope at the party, " Ellie answered.

"Oh Ellie, gosh how much time you got? How do I say this without sounding like I don't know, but Emma and Sean were all over each other at the party? They're just like that couple, beyond obvious they're meant to be for reasons unknown and no one can truly come between them, they break up to makeup, they always find each other and get back together, they're totes meant to be there's no other way to say it than that. No one can light a candle to her in his eyes, even what happened with Jay his so-called friend can stand in their way." Ellie stared contemplating their exchange at Paige upset her eyeliner was all over her face and hands, "If there's any consolation, I'm sorry it's happening and you're hurt. He should've been clear with you and that was a jerk move."

"Is this even happening right now? I guess you're right. I thought I moved on, and then he started talking to me and everything is all screwed up."

"Why don't we clean up your face, head to class, and forget that bad boy Sean Cameron doesn't even exist, hm?" Paige confidently says, "Hun, always carry extra black eyeliner in my bag. What do you say?"

"I don't know if I can handle him and her PDAing all over the hallways. This time I caught them in the boiler room."

With a wet paper towel, Paige wiped Ellie's tear-stained face and eyes as she confided this time in Ellie, and she was honest and let her in on some juicy gossip. "All isn't rosy, I mean I guess I heard from Hazel, who told Marco, who heard from Heather Sinclair they were in a bit of a tiff earlier, a lovers quarrel, or whatever this morning because I heard she found out that everyone knows they totally used my parents' bed the other night, and then Sean told Alex that Emma hooked up with Jay in the ravine last year so right now, count your blessings hun because that is one piece of drama that isn't good. Be glad it's not happening to you."

Ellie shook her head with confusion, "Why would he do that?"

"Because guys like him are different from other guys. Maybe you should date someone who isn't so I don't know, bad?"

"Sean isn't this bad boy."

"Sure, Ellie."

"Listen, Paige, maybe they misheard, maybe the intel is bad because the Sean I know wouldn't do something like that. Sean is a nice guy, you're just being you, picky but not picky enough since you dated Spinner."

"Hey watch it? I have eyeliner and I'm not afraid to poke you in the eye and well I liked him at the time, and being nice prevents all that."

"That's one thing I'm not, nice, and well maybe that's the problem," Ellie said thoughtfully and she simply looked devastated at that revelation. "He just wants a nice girl, a good girl."

"Goodie goodie she was, but now she's all over the rumor mill. I'd hate to be her."

"I feel bad that you think he'd do her so dirty."

"Well, maybe you should talk to him."

"Why waste time? It's time I get over him, isn't that why you said what you said? Maybe I should go for someone who isn't bad?"

Paige shrugged over the topic but didn't want to admit she had forgotten entirely and excitedly asked her, "What if I gave you a makeover?"

Defensively she shook his head, "Hard pass, what's wrong with how I dress, why should it matter? It's an expression of who I am."

Paige had to be brutally honest, "You may want to rethink some of it, it comes off that you're hard, mean, tough, and in actuality you're not as bad as you think you are. You're not going to find a guy dressed like that, the kind of guy you want truly to attract. Someone who's gonna be there for you, stick around, and not leave you with the rent? Maybe if you try it and trust me you'll attract more with honey, not gothic chic."

"Well, there was this one guy I met at The Dot a few days ago who watched our set. He seemed sweet, he's probably in college, or an A&R rep for a record label, imagine if Stolen Mushroom got signed and got a gig."

"Oh Ellie who are you, Jan Brady? You don't have to make up a guy."

"Who is Jan Brady? I'm not making him up." Ellie retorted as she finally took notice of her reflection and was amazed at the transformation in less black around her eyes changing the subject she marveled, "You know you're pretty good at makeup, Paige."

"It's my specialty." Paige beamed glad she didn't linger too long on the remark, "You do look pretty great if I do say so myself."

"Thank you." Ellie beamed, "I know we're not best friends nor do we see eye to eye, but I appreciate what you did here."

She looked in the mirror, "Sure what time do you want to get together."

Paige beamed with satisfaction, "How's today after school?"

The first bell rang and they were running late, and then the two girls headed to class.

Ellie had exactly one class with Sean and it was history with Mr. Perino, since Ellie missed a lot of class last semester by either cutting class or being late since her history course was the first period, she had no choice but to retake the course and so she was spending her third period with the class below her. Emma was seated next to Sean and they looked cozy. Knowing Perino he was bound to say something about them passing notes back and forth. Sean comforted Emma by putting his hand on hers after she passed a note where he reassured her that he wouldn't let anyone mess with her and things would blow over soon.

Irritated, Ellie rolled her eyes knowing while it sucked to be Emma, it also sucked to be her considering it wasn't so long ago that Sean was once again attempting to make amends with him but like she always does she doesn't put trust in others and assumed he was insincere and ingenuine and therefore she did what she does best and pushed him away.

She wanted to talk to him, but she figured she didn't want to make things more complicated for Emma. Even though she doesn't 'get' their dynamic, she does respect that Emma knows Sean more than she ever did and ever will. Sometimes Ellie thinks this is punishment for something, and she'd rather go without closure than suffer awkward interaction to receive some sort of closure. She hated how she was to spend an entire forty-plus minutes having to watch them play footsies at their desks side by side and talking about things that don't pertain to class, but she supposed she'd let them have their fun because she was about to decide to talk to the guy she felt a good vibe about soon enough.

-x-x-x-

Ellie contemplated on her free period to text the guy Scott from the open mic about a week ago, better late than never she supposed.

Hey Scott, time got away from me. We should talk sometime, it's Ellie from the open mic by the way.

She added on an impulse to be more specific.

At The Dot.

Tracker received the message almost forgetting about the girl with some talent he had met at The Dot.

Now Ellie believes she's talking to a person in the music industry such as a talent scout, but she is in actuality talking to Sean's brother even though she doesn't know that yet and neither does he. Even though Sean and Ellie dated, she never really met his brother face to face. Ellie by now is near to her eighteenth birthday but Scott is in his early twenties they haven't talked much to establish any knowledge of one another.

He was about to leave his parent's house after making some of the necessary calls and arrangements for the hospice and his father's end-of-life care, for example, the funeral wishes if he and Sean's father passed within the next few days and to get back to his job, and not want to abandon it or Sean.

Tracker deep down feels guilty for being largely absent from Sean's life in childhood but he desperately wants to make up for it even if his efforts are often met with pushback. Tracker picked up his phone and saw he had a text from Ellie so he answered.

Tracker responded:

Hi, I remember you, so glad you didn't leave me hanging. Family stuff is going on, don't want you to think I ignored you. I'm heading back that way, had to tie up some stuff with my parents about 4 hours away. Want to get together tonight? I just can't be up too late I have work in the morning. Bummer.

Ellie didn't want to make waves, she knew her mom would wonder but she wanted to talk to somebody, anybody. She only agreed to the makeover the save face with Paige, but she didn't have much of an intent to go ahead with it. As she said to Paige before, the way she dresses and carries herself is somewhat of an expression of who she is.

She makes alot of her clothes and goes to second-hand stores to cultivate her unique sense of fashion, rarely does she shop at mall stores or mainstream styles such as the clothes at Garage, Charlotte Russe, or Deb. Ellie feels her manner of dress is comforting and comfortable to her, and the best part it keeps people at arm's length, as she treasures her privacy.

She knows Paige's heart was in the right place, but sometimes she wishes Paige would simply leave her alone, she's never quite sure about their friendship or if she talks crap about her to Hazel behind her back which doesn't help. Ellie still feels suspect of her, they'll never be as close as she to Ashley but since she decided to stay in England as opposed to returning for the school year it's just her and Stolen Mushroom, and when Paige takes time to make unnecessary comments that tend to sting.

The truth is Paige wants to be friendly with Ellie, but it's her attitude that makes it difficult, and they got off on the wrong foot ages ago and they can't seem to get along, likely because they are so different but they do join forces. Ellie can never really thank Paige without getting super vulnerable for when she discovered her self-harm and asked to see her scars, it was certainly a big step in the right direction but she's so cautious because Paige's track record on secret keeping isn't so good and she figures it's only a matter of a time she'd share something like that with others just because she could. She doesn't have the highest hopes.

That's fine, maybe we can meet at Bennett Park. I spend a lot of time walking the trails then. How about around 7? So it gives you time to come back.

He responds with:

Nice, yeah that works, 7 is fine. See you then, Ellie. Is that short for Eleanor?

She replies,

Yes, awesome, and yes Ellie is short for Eleanor, unfortunately.

He texted back.:

I sense you don't like it, I wonder what your middle name is with a name like that.

She returned his message with,

Random but it's Elisabeth, I don't know my mom was probably drunk, I just don't know why parents have to be in charge of names. I don't know what possessed my mom.

Tracker replied with:

Yeah, lol, my family doesn't even call me by my real name some stupid nickname because my youngest brother couldn't properly say my name. Long story and Scott's my dad's name so I guess that makes me a junior. I have to hit the road before 7 to get back to the area, I'll catch you later. Bye.

Marco had texted her while she was texting her mysterious new attraction, but she felt guilty blowing him off entirely. She just would chalk it up to a lot of homework even though she knew what it was like going through a breakup like Marco is with Dylan and he was looking forward to talking through it with his best friend. She decided to answer Marco with something vague enough to ease him:

I'm sorry that's happening. I don't understand why he wanted to be with you only to break up with you now, sounds fishy. I'm also sorry I can't hang out tonight because I have some plans tonight, I'll talk to you in the morning at school.

Not that Ellie felt that her so-called date with Scott was more important than her best friend's break up, she just seemed like her want was more pressing since she had already made plans with him.

While she's on the whole level-headed and the opposite of impulsive in most situations she was in unfamiliar territory because she'd never met up with a practical stranger she'd only met briefly and had been texting with for a short time. This could be a good thing, or a bad thing, or something in between.