Chief of Hearts Homer becomes friends with Chief Wiggum. Bart takes up a hobby in the form of a parody of Bakugan Battle Brawlers. Marge mistakes partial eavesdropping of his conversations about the game to be talk of drugs...
Plot
The title gag is Kang and Kodos in their UFO laughing maniacally.
The Billboard Gag is Mr Burns and the slogan is: "Death and taxes, two things I avoid..."
"Yeah, You keep telling yourself that Monty..." said Death, who was in his office with the Joker and loads of IRS bailiffs.
The chalkboard gag is: "This counts as Art and Gym."
The Couch Gag is the members of the Simpson family as food being eaten. Homer is a salad, Marge is spaghetti and meatballs, Bart is a steak, Lisa is a soup and Maggie is a mint with the bill.
The camera pans up to reveal the man eating the dishes is Comic Book Guy.
"Terrible..." He said.
...
Marge is in her orange station wagon taking the kids to someone's birthday party.
"I can't believe you're making us go to a birthday party for a kid we don't even know." Bart groaned. He was wearing a white shirt and tie.
"Oh, you remember Dylan. You were in Toddle Tots together." said Marge.
"I don't even remember going to that." Bart commented. "Didn't I get kicked out for trying to perform a stunt with my skateboard by trying to fly on it from an Ollie over the other babies?"
Marge sighed as her eyebrow twitched annoyed by that particular memory. "Yes..."
"I don't even remember if Dylan's a boy or a girl." said Lisa.
"Of course you do. Dylan's a... Hmm. Let me check the invitation." Marge reads one of their invitations. "Fish theme? That tells me nothing!"
"Uh..." said Oscar.
"This ambiguous invitation confuses and infuriates us!" Marge screamed frustrated.
The kids flinched.
Once she calmed down...
"Well boys like Finding Nemo..." said Oscar.
"I don't..." said Bart scoffing as he finds babyish things lame and violence cool.
"Dylan is clearly a boy's name..." said Hugo sighing.
"Not strictly true..." said Lisa. "What about Dylan Farrow?" Her siblings and Oscar looked blank at her. "Mia Farrow's adopted daughter..."
"She is clearly a he..." said Hugo.
"We need more clues..." said Marge.
They pull up at Dylans. "Well here we are... Now let's see..." said Marge seeing if the party had a theme.
Tchaikovsky's Overture to Sleeping Beauty plays. There are some girls dressed as princesses and dancing.
"See? Dylan's clearly a gir..." said Marge.
"Yeeeeeuck..." Bart retched.
"I refuse to accept Dylan Farrow is a she..." Hugo hissed.
"Stop misgendering her!" Lisa yelled.
"Hold on..." Oscar was looking at the party guests with Marge.
Purcell's The Funeral of Queen Mary, a grunge heavy metal song plays while boys dressed up as superheroes are pummelling abd hitting each other.
"Hmm? What kind of party has two activities? They're just trying to confuse me." Marge frowned.
"Cooooool!" said Bart as he likes violence and dressing up as a superhero.
Lisa rolled her eyes appalled by the fighting.
Suddenly. "Look everyone! It's Dylan's best friend!" said A girl.
A big, playful sheepdog that resembled Max from Disney's The Little Mermaid bounded across the lawn. He even had a big, wet, shiny, round, black nose like Max's.
The kids pet the dog.
"Oh I give up..." Marge sighed.
...
Dylan's mom welcomes the Simpsons to Dylan's party.
She did not give any hints whatsoever to Dylan's gender...
"I hope Dylan likes trucks." Marge asked quietly as she carried a present.
"Lady, you don't know Dylan!" said Mavis, the sassy black lady from church. "Mmmmmmhmmmmm!"
Marge gawked wondering how Mavis was literally everywhere they went...
Also there was a Japanese mom...
Bart helps himself to food at the start of the party... He bites a cupcake. "Hmmmm..."
"Bleh! Gross! Carrot cake!" It was carrot cake. He spat out his chewed up mouthful and smooshed it back onto the cake and put it back...
A blond boy with a cartoony voice Who I have decided is Ace, Oscar's reoccurring vampire friend picks up the chewed cake Bart put back and takes a bite.
"Oh, carrot cake! (chuckles): Mmm! So moist!" said Ace.
Oscar and Teddy retched. "Eeeeeugh..."
"So who is Dylan Farrow again..." Hugo sighed.
"She accused her foster dad Woody Allen of some seriously messed up stuff. Personally I believe her though... I uh don't trust that Woody..." said Oscar.
Bart frowned at him and rolled his eyes. "Oz the authorities would have collared him by now if he had done that!"
"Yeah whatever..." said Oscar.
Bart comes across some kids including the brown haired boy in Nikki McKenna's class, the random buck toothed jewish boy who was at school talent show when Lisa's las reed broke and the boy on Bill Cosby's Kids say the darnest things. They are playing a game that resembles Bakugan Battle Brawlers.
"Battle card- digitate!" said the Pokemon! kid.
"Defense card- deflecto-warp!" said the kid in Nikki's class.
"Disubaki- goji kick!" said the jewish kid as Bakugans rolled about and unfolded into plastic monsters.
"Hey, dinks. Whatcha dweebin'?" said Bart sitting amongst them.
(scoffs) "You don't know Battle Balls?" said the Pokemon! boy. It's Bakugan Battle Brawlers!
"It's a Japanese card game based on a cartoon based on an ancient religion based on a candy bar." said another boy.
"Mmmmm... ancient, sacred candy bar..." Oscar drooled.
Bart winced at him.
"It makes Digimon look like Pokémon." said a dirty blond haired boy.
"Pokemon!" said the Pokemon! kid from Bill Cosby's Kids say the darnest things.
"No Cody... not Pokemon..." said the kid from Nikki's class.
Oscar laughed.
"Actually it makes Digimon look like crap." said a boy with a sweatband. Oh shazbot!
Tai Kamiya/Yagami Taichi lunged at him and pummelled him. "DIIIIIIEEEEEEEEE!"
Bart winced.
Izzy and Joe drag Tai away.
"No Tai! We don't need another lawsuit!" said Joe Kido.
Bart grimaced baffled. "Anyway..." He read his script.
"What?! Impossible!" He exclaimed what he was supposed to say before Tai interrupted.
A Bakugan is rolled towards another. It unfolds into a monster, operates its drill arm and drills into another Bakugan monster and pulls out its heart.
The blue monster squawked and died.
"Kali Maaaaaaaaaa! Kali Maaaaaaaaaa! KALI MAAAAAAAAA!" Oscar yelled.
Hugo shook his head flustered.
...
At the bank. Homer is going to the bank.
He is eating a candy apple.
"Hm?! "No food allowed in bank"?" There was a sign forbidding him from eating in the bank.
"What if I don't listen..." Homer said to the sign. He went in while chewing the candy apple.
He was swiftly tossed out by security guards.
"Read the sign, jackass!" said the guard.
Homer sighed.
"Better lie low, my sweet red friend." said Homer to the candy apple. He bit it and put it in his pocket. He went inside.
A lady panicked and thought he had a gun...
"He's got a gun!" she screamed.
People panic.
"Damn you! Second Amendment!"
Homer tries to explain it is a candy apple but the sticky toffee glues his jaws shut.
Guards pull out guns.
"I think he's saying he'll kill one hostage an hour until he gets what he wants." said a guard.
People gasp.
Homer yelled muffled in protest that he means no harm.
"He's saying he wants $1 million in unmarked bills!" said a guard.
Homer muffled a protest but decided actually the millions of dollars would be nice.
The guards taser him.
Homer screamed as he was zapped.
Oscar arrived to give everyone funny hats. He saw Homer being tasered.
Homer screamed.
"Mwuhahahahaha! Justice!" Oscar laughed cruelly. He hates Homer for the way he treats Hugo. Ie the locking him in the attic etc.
Homer tried to explain the object in his pocket was just a candy apple.
"He clearly wants to be tasered again!" said a guard.
"Get him in his meat!" said another guard.
They zap Homer.
He screamed.
...
Homer is taken to court.
Judge Constance Harm is the judge today.
"Homer Simpson, for causing a panic in the bank you are hereby sentenced to 100 hours of community service!" said Judge Constance Harm tapping her hammer.
Homer gasped horrified.
"Uh your honour that's extremely unreasonable. This man is innocent. People just overreacted to him having candy in his coat pocket." said a court warden.
Homer nodded and pleaded.
"Shut your pie hole! I hate the Simpsons! Hate them! I want him to suffer!" Judge Constance Harm screeched.
Homer whimpered.
"100 hours community service!" Judge Harm insisted on her judgement.
"Community Service?! Awwww... can't I go to jail?" Homer whined.
"Community Service." Judge Harm repeated agitated.
"But I hate serving the community..." said Homer.
"And I hate you..." said Judge Constance Harm. Because she's a bitch...
Homer groaned as he was led away.
"Next case. Tai Kamiya from Digimon on the charge of assault and battery?!" said Judge Constance Harm.
Tai from Digimon was there...
"A punk said Digimon looked like crap..." Tai seethed.
"That's probably true. 100 hours community service!" said Judge Harm delivering her sentence.
"Community service?! Awwwww... I wanna go to jail..." said Tai. Um okay...
"Community service!" Judge Harm insisted.
Tai was lead away.
Homer for some reason wanted to go to prison...
"Free food, tear drop tattoos... library books that come to you..."
"Uh huh... and what about the drop the soap shower antics and shiv attacks..." said Oscar.
Homer frowned at Oscar.
In court Judge Constance Harm had her coffee while court was in recess.
The Special Judicial Squad from Judge Dredd want to have some serious words with her over her draconian and overly harsh sentences.
Judge Harm sighed. "Well I'm boned..."
...
At the birthday party.
Everyone played pass the parcel.
They still hadn't figured out if Dylan was a boy or a girl.
"Maybe they're neither, like the freak Mr Pommelhorse at school after "Their" surgery." said Oscar being transphobic.
"Oscar!" Marge told him off.
Bart tried to hold the parcel for longer till the music stopped so he could open it.
But Lisa frowned and took the parcel from him, it got passed around fairly.
Bart groaned as the parcel continued its way around the ring of guests sat in a circle.
Meanwhile Hall and Oates stopped suing each other to sue Milhouse for illegally downloading music.
"Awwww... man..." MIlhouse groaned as he was surrounded by angry lawyers. Including blue haired lawyer.
The boys at Dylan's party were playing Bakugan Battle Brawlers again.
"Kali Maaaaaaaa..." Oscar rasped.
Hugo glared at him for being stupid.
"Galalalala!" Oscar was wagging his tongue flicking spit as he made faces...
"I wanna punch that kid in his goggles..." said a boy dressed as a superhero groaned.
They then played musical chairs. Without taking away the chairs each round...
"Yaaaaaaay! Everyone wins!" said Dylan's Mom.
Bart winced.
Plot 2
The park. Chief Wiggum is in charge of community service. He was in his patrol car talking to Sarah, his wife.
Homer was outside with tho other people given community service. Kearney, Herman the one armed man and Kent Brockman. Yes Kent Brockman... They gave the news anchor community Service somehow.
Anyway Wiggum's phone call to Sarah...
"So, sweetie, this community service detail should end around 5:00."
High pitched chatter was heard, because that's how phone calls are portrayed in cartoons.
"You want to go to that seafood place?"
More high pitched chatter.
"Ah, yeah, you got your book club again."
More high pitched chatter.
"Man, that-that thing sure meets a lot."
More chatter.
"Hey, you know, I've read that book. Maybe I could come and..."
More high pitched chatter from Sarah.
"Oh, right, right, right, not enough chairs."
More chatter we don't get to decipher.
"Yeah. Well, I'll probably be asleep in front of the fridge when you get home. Bye."
More chatter.
"Yeah Ralphie will do that in the sandpit... Bye Sarah..." Wiggum sighed ending the call.
He gets out and addresses the scum. Krusty has now joined Homer, Kent, Kearney and Herman.
"Well, well, well, the community service detail. You people make me sick." Wiggum made them feel ashamed.
Everyone looked chastened and forlorn.
"Stop breaking the law! Asshole!" Jim Carey's character from Liar Liar yelled.
Homer winced.
Wiggum spat in disgust, putting on a tough cop persona.
Homer was picking his ears...
...
He saw Homer's lunchbox.
"Hey, whatcha packing, Simpson?"
"Just my lunch." said Homer. In the lunchbox were parm sandwiches.
"Chicken parm, meatball parm, eggplant parm, shish ka-parm, angel food parm, moo goo gai parm. My wife can parm anything." said Homer.
"Huh. My wife only parms on my birthday." said Wiggum. "And that's only if I give her the sad puppy dog look."
(whimpers) He makes a sad whimper.
"Aw..." said Homer.
(whimpers) Wiggum whimpered.
"Want a bite?" Homer offered him a sandwich.
"Really? You mean it?" Chief Wiggum asked.
Homer nodded.
"Mmm." Chief Wiggum eats the parm sandwich.
"Okay, criminals, here's your assignments." Chief Wiggum assigns jobs to the community service lot.
"Brockman, you get the used condoms out of that thorn bush." He told Kent.
"Kearney you can look for syringes in the trash cans without gloves..."
"Herman... You'll do any chore that requires two hands..." said Wiggum being cruel.
Herman the one armed man frowned.
"Krustofsky, go sort those bums by the war they were in." He sent Mrustynoff to deal with hobos.
"And, Simpson, you sit down at this picnic table here and grab a bite with me." Wiggum gave Homer the day off and they became friends...
"Teacher's pet." Krusty scoffed.
"Hey, find your nose, funny man." Wiggum took his red clown nose and threw it...
"There was cocaine in there. I won't last an hour. (sobbing)" Krusty sobbed.
Homer and Wiggum relax, laying on a park bench.
"Do you ever wear your police pants to regular things?" Homer asked.
"Throw a jean jacket on top of these babies, and you can go anywhere." Wiggum explained.
"From fast food to fine dining?" Homer asked.
"And everything in between." said Wiggum.
...
Dylan's party.
Bart and Nikki were smooching...
"Oh Bart! My hero! Thank you for rescuing me from your evil, diabolical twin, Hugo..." said Nikki in love.
"Uh... Nikki, I am Hugo..." said Hugo. She got them confused again.
Bart frowned finding his girlfriend smooching his brother.
At the Bakugan spoof gaming area. Blond Milhouse was playing with just water or Aquos Bakugans.
"I am not Blond Milhouse!" Marucho yelled. The blond four-eyed dweeb rolled a blue Bakugan, a water aligned one.
His signature one, Ie His equivalent of Ash's Pikachu or Tai's Agumon was a fish-man called Preyas.
"Uh Preyas... where did you get those lemons from..." Blond Milhouse asked.
"Hey! He stole from the town lemon tree!" A kid at the party yelled as Preyas ate a lemon.
Bart winced.
Oscar was prostrating himself before the ancient candy bar the religion of Bakugan was formed around, then it became an anime then a game.
"Can I eat thee?" Oscar asked the ancient candy bar.
The candy bar just laid there silently. It's a candy bar...
Bart gawked at him.
Back at the park. Homer was saying how fat he was.
"Everyone thinks I am fat..." said Homer.
"Overweight? You?" Wiggum scoffed.
"Oh, now, that's crazy. Now, me, I have to get my underwear specially made my this village in the Ukraine. They call me "Daddy Round-Round."" said Wiggum.
Ukrainians made his underwear for him.
"That is some huge underwear..." The village altogether were wearing a giant set of underpants.
Wiggum nodded.
"What happened?" Homer asked.
"Russian Z mercenaries burnt down the village and killed everyone on Putin's orders... Looks like the Cold War's back..." said Wiggum.
Homer sighed.
They smiled at one another.
"You seem like a swell guy Chief." said Homer.
"Hey I like a few snacks here and there too Homer..." Wiggum smiled.
"Great! Now to get you a pervert dressed as Dale from Chip n Dale Rescue Rangers as a friend.." said Oscar.
"I am not copying Dale! I am a fan of Thomas Magnum!" Quagmire yelled.
...
Speaking of Oscar...
He was fighting robotic mermaid zombies...
Oscar fired kamehamehas at the robot mermaid zombies as they clawed at him.
He summoned a cyclone of Japanese salary men to drag the robot mermaid zombies away somewhere.
Teddy winced.
Then suddenly he died. He was in a car going up to heaven.
"Finally!" Cousin Hank cheered.
Shut up jerk! It's only temporary!
"What can I get you?" An angel ice cream guy in the car asked.
"Peppermint, Sugar plum, Boysenberry custard?" We have any flavour
you can possibly imagine." said the ice cream serving guy.
"Vanilla." Oscar asked.
"Ooh, we're out vanilla." said the ice cream guy.
Oscar frowned and scoffed.
"What's going on? Where am I?" Oscar asked.
"We find people take the news better with ice cream." said the ice cream serving guy.
"What news?" Oscar asked.
"The news that you're dead..." said the angel ice cream server guy.
Oscar whimpered and sobbed. "I wasn't ready to go yet!"
The ice cream guy comforted him.
"Okay so Oscar died..." said Bart.
"How awful! Poor Oscar..." said Lisa.
"Good riddance..." Cousin Hank snapped.
Everyone glared at Hank.
In the car up to heaven. Oscar was given a rocky road ice cream.
"Wait why I am I here?" Stan Smith from American Dad asked.
"You froze to death in the woods one December evening. That's pretty dumb if you asked me... What were you doing?!" The ice cream serving guy asked.
"I was trying to find the perfect Christmas tree as my family obviously has no Christmas spirit..." said Stan.
They eventually arrived and were welcomed to heaven by the snarky gay angel Homer met in Season 16.
"Lickety Split!" said the gay angel.
Oscar willed via a wish for his head to explode. The gay angel's head exploded in a spray of blood and gore. He magically got his head back though.
Oscar laughed.
The gay angel who is the tour guide of Heaven sighed.
...
At the park. Everyone was allowed to go home for the day.
"I wanna see you scum bright and early, same time tomorrow, wading through garbage." Wiggum told off the community service folks.
"But not you buddy, I'll pull a few strings with the judge and get you outta this by this evening..." said Wiggum to his new friend Homer.
"Awwwww! Thanks pal!" said Homer.
"So you know a place called Moe's?" Homer asked.
"Uh Earth to Homer, I arrested you there last week..." said Chief Wiggum.
"Yeah... sorry for being a jerk then..." said Homer.
"Nah that's alright... You were just mad your team lost. It happens some times..." said Chief Wiggum.
"Yeah. Well, I-I'll see you at Moe's. I'm there every day, 5:00 to 11:00. (chuckles)" Homer laughed, thinking about his terrible drinking habits.
"Heh." Wiggum smiled. He went to go back to the station with his two best officers Lou and Eddie.
"Uh, calling all units, Chief Wiggum just made a friend." said Lou smiling.
"Sssshhhh! I don't want the perps knowing I have gone soft..." Chief Wiggum hushed him.
Meanwhile in heaven...
M People were singing One Night in Heaven.
A jumbo jet flew into them.
Stan wasn't happy being dead. So he went to heavenly court to demand a second chance.
He got a lady lawyer with a nice rack and blond hair.
Oscar moaned aroused and fainted.
The hot female angel lawyer sighed.
Oscar was assigned to Scott, a diaper wearing cherub with blond hair.
Oscar laughed.
Scott sighed.
They all attended Heavenly court.
"Do you mess your diaper?" Oscar asked Scott.
"No!" Scott groaned in nasally tone.
"But it would funny though..." Oscar chuckled.
Scott sighed.
"Silence in court!" said the judge slamming his gavel on its block.
Oscar sighed.
...
Back in the land of the living.
Flame Magmarashi, Peter Shepherd from the Jumanji cartoon and Hubert Wong were mourning Oscar who had died.
Mudboy oozed out from the Earth. The mud monster chuckled maniacally and bounced about on his butt.
Hubert Wong who is probably Chinese or Japanese shrieked.
"Aaaaaagh! Dorotabō!" He yelped. A mud yokai.
"No! Its a golem!" said Jurkle, Oscar's Jewish friend.
"No that's just Mudboy, a cartoon mud monster I created once..." said Peter.
"Ugh... so many names for muck from you dweebs! Sheesh! From Chopsticks here, to... Fussy eater here..." said Mudboy. "Muck!" He slapped the ground gleefully, spraying mud at Hubert and Jurkle.
"Hey! I am not fussy! I won't eat certain foods for religious reasons!" Jurkle whined.
"Shhhhh! A little respect for Oscar please..." said Flame.
Plot 3
We then move on to Bart's side of the story...
At school.
"So Bart, Because Mr Invisible Narrator guy likes you, You get to dictate new trends in school so we're now all Anime nerds..." said Nelson as they play Bakugan Battle Brawlers.
"Sayonara Bart-kun!" Milhouse yelled.
Bart winced.
"See this is why we did not do a Pokémon episode..." Bart sighed.
"Pokemon?! With the thing and the guy and he comes out and makes a fire on the sidewalk! Ah ah ah!" said Bill Cosby.
Bart winced.
Martin rolled a Bakugan across the grid of cards.
A snowman figure fired carrot nose missiles...
"Hey, Simpson, think you got all the best Battle Ball cards? Well, stink again, smell-wad." said Nelson.
"Eh?" Bart asked.
"Ralph Wiggum's got a platinum lava genie." said Nelson.
Ralph was nearby, picking his nose.
"How'd a pull-up like you get a great card like that?" Bart asked Ralph, because he wears pull-ups...
"My not-dead grandma sent it from Tokyo." said Ralph.
"Ralph, I will play you for that card!" said Bart now gone fully Otaku... (An anime nerd)
"Okay, but if I win, you have to teach me how to play this game." said Ralph.
Bart winced.
"Ralph that doesn't make sense. If you win, you are clearly the more experienced player and you clearly don't need me teaching you..."
"Nope! Those are my terms! Hmmmhmmmhmmm..." Ralph was adamant those would be his terms for giving away his rare card...
Bart sighed.
"I have the same problem with Sora..." Yuya Sakaki from Yugioh Arc V sighed. "Sora, if you win, you are the better duelist, so you clearly don't need me to teach you..."
"Those are my terms of our duel, deal with it, Tomato boy..." said Sora.
Yuya sighed.
...
Heaven.
Stan was in the midst of an important heavenly court case, Ie to determine whether or not he got a second chance of life.
Oscar bored got out his magic wand from Wizard school.
"How now, brown from bowels..."
Scott's tummy groaned. He winced feeling an immediate need for the bathroom. "Uh oh!" He balled up his fists and grunted. He yelled as he soiled his diaper with a wet splat and it sagged.
"I need a diapee change!" He bawled.
Oscar laughed.
In the cloud fields of heaven.
Stan went crazy and got ahold of a heaven gun and held God hostage.
God sighed.
Oscar was flying about heaven wearing a diaper.
Scott arrived in a clean diaper and frowned.
"You are so weird..." He griped to Oscar.
Oscar smirked. "Heard it all before..."
A green Curious Bear cub arrived. He grinned and his big, wet, shiny, green nose quivered and twitched.
Oscar gurgled and sweated. He flew down to the cartoon green bear cub.
The Curious Bear Cub grinned and sniffed Oscar's diaper with his wet shiny nose. Oscar blushed and sweated.
Scott winced freaked out. "Ugh!"
The green cartoon bear cub was still sniffing Oscar's diaper. Pressing his slimy nose against the fabric of the diaper. Oscar grimaced.
The green bear cub inhaled. Oscar raised a brow. "I get this from Teddy, my living teddy bear, I don't need this from you, doodie head!"
The green bear cub with the round shiny nose grinned. He continued sniffing Oscar's diaper.
Ninten from Earthbound Zero arrived.
"Wrong ethereal cloud domain..." Scott sighed.
"Also there are cartoon green bears in Magnicent..." said Oscar.
"You know... Maybe we should bring you back to life... It is too soon for you to be up here..." Scott sighed.
...
Moe's that evening.
Clancy arrived with Homer.
"Whoa whoa! Nothing to see here officer! Just a dank bar! No illegal gambling! Barney put those cards away!" Moe panicked.
"Guys he's off duty. And we're friends now..." said Homer.
Lenny spat out his beer.
"Stop copying me!" Peter Griffin yelled as he sat i the booths with Joe, Quagmire and Cleveland.
"He still needs a pervert for a friend..." said Oscar. "Also I'm alive again..."
Homer sighed.
"Guys relax... I am off duty... And I don't want to haul you in for every little thing you do wrong..." said Chief Wiggum. "That would make me a jerk."
"Yeah well I'm still nervous around you..." Moe muttered.
Clancy sighed.
Homer then went to breakfast with Chief Wiggum.
"Oh, man, this is so awesome. I can't believe I'm having breakfast where the cops do." said Homer.
"Yeah, and you can feel good about eating here, too. Because all the cooks are ex-cons getting a second chance." said Chief Wiggum.
Crooks who were now working as kitchen staff were spitting in the food... Ugh...
"Uh... let's eat at the waffle place..." said Clancy...
The cops and Homer left.
"Ah the pigs are gone. Good riddance." said a former crook chef.
One of the crooks stubbed his cigarette out in the yolk of a fried egg.
Anyhoo, the cops and Homer went to a breakfast cafe ran by a Mrs Davis.
"Hi Mrs Davis." said Chief Wiggum.
Mrs Davis sighed. "The usual Chief?"
"Yes, and one extra serving for my new friend Homer." said Chief Wiggum.
Also David Caruso from NYPD Blue was there because he was in Thief if Hearts.
Lou sipped his coffee.
Clancy assured Homer he wasn't a stuffy, by the book jobsworth.
"I don't enjoy arresting people, except the real bad guys... I actually prefer to nap at work..." said Wiggum.
Homer gasped delighted. "Me too!"
...
School. Bart was playing Bakugan Battle Brawlers again at recess.
He rolled a red Bakugan. It unfolded into a dragon-like beast.
Oscar arrived grooving to the opening of Eminem's Without Me. The bit where he goes Guess who's back, back again.
Bart sighed. "Hey Oz."
"I am aliiiiiiive, and I bugged Heaven enough they will keep sending me back!" said Oscar. "I haven't felt this good since that time Abraham Lincoln tangled with a nest of venomous copperhead snakes..."
Bart winced. "That was what Republicans back then called anti-war Democrats..."
"No he literally fought against snakes..." said Oscar.
Bart sighed.
Ralph was playing Bakugan Battle Brawlers too. Bart started discussing weird things Ralph worried about. Weird but hilarious things...
"You ever worry the sun's not going to come back after it goes down at night?" Bart asked.
"No." Milhouse winced.
"Know who does?" Bart asked. "Ralph..."
Oz gave Ralph a baffled look.
"Lotta worries that kid." said Bart. "Like, what if the bed wets him..."
"In Soviet Russia, bed wets you!" Oscar laughed while doing Russian Reversal jokes.
"What if Superman one day decided to kill everybody..." Bart continued listing Ralph's weird fears.
Oscar laughed hysterically. "That would be coooool!"
Ralph gave him a nervous glance.
"No it would not..." Bart sighed.
"Then there was that time He said he was gonna act like a robot and we found by the teeter totter spinning on the floor like Curly and going "Beep bo beep bah beep." ... Ugh..." said Bart.
"Or that time he said he had a nightmare about cartoon trees with saws had tied him up..." said Oscar.
Ralph coughed up a Bakugan Battle Brawler.
Bart sighed.
Milhouse pondered over what move to make in the game of Bakugan.
...
"Sir, I think something's going down." Martin was spying on Bart, the tattle tale... "Something big."
"Yeah, your nose, Squealer..." Oscar threw a can at him.
"Hmm. Can that be some sort of narcotics transaction?" Martin ignored Oscar as he relayed back to Skinner.
Oscar winced.
"Uh, what are you asking me for?" Skinner acted sheepish.
"Minnie Mouse... no one is trading drugs. Bart is just playing Bakugan Battle Brawlers... A toy based on an anime..." Oscar sighed.
Sir I Bart's dealing..." said Martin.
"Okay, since you're going to do this, then I shall employ Operation Muffin on you." Oscar frowned.
"Also I am compromised right now, so I might be found dangling by my underwear somewhere, over and out..." said Martin.
"I AM LLAMA! IDIGAMADAMA! YUM YUM YUM YUM YUM YUM!" Oscar yelled gibberish.
Martin sighed.
"BEE BOOO! BEE BOOO! BEE BOOO!" Oscar yelled.
"OZ! CUT THAT OUT YOU CLOWN!" Bart yelled.
Skinners office. He was dressed as a syringe...
"Uh, what are you asking me for?" Skinner asked Martin, There was background noise from Oscar arguing with Martin over what he supposedly saw.
Otto came in. He saw Skinner dressed as a syringe and gasped.
"Ooh."
"Yes Otto, The school is making kids aware of how vital vaccine boosters are to drown out Noah's mother's nonsense." said Skinner.
"You will not jab my son! Vaccines cause Autism!" Noah's mother yelled. She's an Anti-vaxxer...
Skinner sighed.
"Sir are you heroin?" Otto asked.
"No Otto..." Skinner sighed.
"Can I get a raise?" Otto asked.
"Certainly not!" said Skinner.
Oscar ran past the window screaming gibberish. "KALALALALALA BLOOMY!"
Skinner sighed.
...
Homer is hanging out with Clancy. They took the patrol car to a nice spot overlooking town. It is night and the stars are out.
"Hey, Homer, hand me my coffee." said Wiggum.
Homer gave him his thermos. "Want some sugar?"
"No I'm good..." said Wiggum.
"You ever think the stars are sugar from God's donut?" Homer asked.
"Probably..." said Clancy.
Homer sighed relaxed.
"Can you guys go through red lights?" He asked.
"Yup." said Clancy drinking his coffee.
"Does Ralph still like Lisa?" Homer asked.
"Oh definitely... He still thinks she's his girlfriend..." said Wiggum.
"We have been here for ten hours... I need the bathroom..." said Snake.
"Oh great! Now on top of burglary I have to now charge you for murdering this moment..." Clancy told Snake off.
"Can I borrow your hair again..." Homer asked Snake.
Snake gawked at him.
Simpsons house.
Skinner knocks.
"Yes?" Marge asked.
"I am just gonna come out and say it. Mrs Simpson. An anonymous tip off thinks they saw Bart dealing drugs..." said Skinner.
Marge gasped.
"Oh not this waffle-snaffle! Skinner... Bart is not dealing... He is playing Bakugan Battle Brawlers... A Japanese game based on an anime, based on a religion, based on a candy bar... These things..." said Oscar. A Bakugan in his palm unfolds into a plastic monster.
"Oh how cute!" said Marge cooing.
Skinner sighed. He left defeated.
"Bart doesn't touch drugs. Apart from what your school suggested be subscribed to him... Ie Focusyn... Ritalin... Zoloft..." said Marge.
Skinner sighed. He left. "Okay, I am mistaken..l Good day."
Plot 4