Decline in Mental States -Trigger Warnings Depression, Self harm, suicide

You can tell how mentally healthy I was when I wrote all this stuff…

Sirena thanks Rita for dealing with their Mermaid hijinks and learns some more about Rita's past

"Thank you for putting up with us," Sirena said.

"It's alright, it's surprisingly been..fun. And thank you."

"What for? We just caused trouble."

"You saved me."

"You mean with Zac and the Moon Ring thing?"

"That and I mean literally."

Confused expression.

"Mentally I'm not the most healthy, stable person and because of that there was a high possibility I would have done something stupid."

"Stupid?"

"What would you have done? Rita?"

The Mermaid pulled up her left sleeve. There was a long vertical scar running up her forearm. Faint horizontal scars also marked the skin.

"There is a vein, or an artery - I can't remember which - than runs along here," she ran her right index finger along the scar," people generally don't survive cuts like this, provided they cut deep enough. I didn't cut deep enough."

"You did that?"

Rita pulled down her sleeve.

"About three years ago. If you hadn't been here I might have done something like this again."

Sirena hugged her.

Tw: suicide.

Set after S3, Rita kills herself

Present

"She just looked like she was sleeping."

Mimmi sat on the edge of the chair.

"Mum asked me to see if , " Mimmi stumbled over her words

"You don't have to say her name, if you don't want to."

"Mum send me to ask if ," Mimmi inhaled, " if Rita was going to be in for dinner. I went to the bathroom, she went for a bath. She didn't answer. I could hear her music playing. I think her phone was ringing too. I tried the door. It wasn't locked."

Mimmi felt her chest tighten.

"Take your time. Have you ever talked about it with anyone?"

"Not completely. I don't think they want to talk about it."

"Did you know about your aunt's illness?"

Mimmi shook her head.

"Not until Felix told us." (Felix is an OC who knows all about Mermaids, is in a relationship with another OC Hector who is the brother of Harry. Felix is the grandson of a powerful Mermaid, which is how him and Rita met but does not transform himself. The only magic ability he has developed so far is immunity to Siren Songs)

"Felix?"

"Her friend. He knew her for a long time. They were really good friends," Mimmi whispered.

"She gave no signs of any struggle?"

" No. Not that we noticed. We should've. I should've. "

"How?"

" I don't know... The scars. None of us noticed them. "

"People will often hide self harm and mental illnesses. Are you ready to continue ?"

Mimmi nodded and exhaled.

"I opened the door. She was sitting up leaning back. She was smiling slightly. She just looked like she was sleeping. I decided to give her a fright. Just as a joke. But, then. Well I got closer and I saw the dried tears on her cheeks. How pale she was. Then I saw all the blood."

The woman handed her a tissue.

"Thanks. The water was red from all the blood. She liked the colour red, she had a red dress that she wore a lot. She had this necklace with a red stone on it. The same colour as the water."

" That was not a sign to be noticed. Liking a colour is not a sign that someone is going to do what she did. "

"I know."

" What happened next? What did you think? Feel? "

"I felt scared. I couldn't see where the blood was coming from. I shook her shoulder, trying to wake her up. She was so cold. I think I started shouting. Screaming.

I remember Mum came in. Zac and Cam too. Cam pulled her out of the water. That's when we saw her wrists. It was Cam that felt her pulse and breathing. She was still alive then. Mum tried to stop the bleeding.

We knew nothing about her. After talking to Felix and reading some of her writings it made it worse. She'd been through so much, survived some tough stuff only to , to die on a bathroom floor."

" That seems to make you angry. "

" She did so much for us. She took us in and helped us, she helped me. I could've done more to help her. I just panicked while the others tried. I should've tried to save her. The others were too late but I was there. "

"I don't think it would've saved her. You need to keep reminding yourself that she chose that end for herself."

" But why? "

"I don't know that. Was a note found?"

" Not yet. "

" If you don't find anything like that, talking to people who knew her, like Felix if he's willing , is the best chance you have of getting some answers. Our time is up for now. I will see you on Friday. "

Mimmi nodded.

"You will get through this Mimmi. Remember five stages. Denial. Anger. Bargaining. Depression. Acceptance. Just because you're stuck at one stage for now, doesn't mean you'll always be stuck there. For Friday, I want you to write a letter to your aunt about everything you want to say to her. You can take it with you if you want or simply throw it away. Just try and write it."

" I will. Thank you Doctor. "

"You're welcome Mimmi."

Three Weeks Ago

The house was too silent. No one spoke. The TV buzzed quietly but no one listened or even acknowledged it. Mimmi hugged Poseidon. The cat had been yowling and pacing for the last few hours.

Ondina and Weilan had come in from a swim laughing, happy, only to enter the grotto to see Mimmi, Nerissa, Zac, Cam and Evie sitting in silence. Faces blank.

"What's wrong?"

"What happened?"

"It's Rita," Cam said, " she's dead."

Two Weeks and Six Days Ago

"Her phone keeps ringing," Ondina said.

Rita's phone sat face down on the table. It had rung countless times over the last seventeen hours.

Evie picked up the phone.

"Felix?"

" No idea. "

The caller id had a picture of a man with dark curly hair , his arm around another tanned man. Both were smiling.

The ringing stopped. The phone beeped and a notification popped up. Voicemail full.

Four Months Ago

"Rita?"

"Hmm? "

"Have you ever met Aurora?"

They were staying in a made guest room. It had been Nerissa's idea, for everyone to stay together while Aurora was around.

"Numerous times. Hence why this isn't necessary."

"When did you meet her?"

The Mermaid didn't respond.

"Rita."

"((insert relevant Spanish word/phrase))"

" And that translates to? "

"Leave me alone and let me sleep."

"You're avoiding the question. Just tell us why you met her."

"I trained with her. We were both taught by the same Mermaid, Liliana, which is how I know what she's capable of."

One Week Ago

"She wore this quite a lot when we first came into land."

Sirena held up the white dress Rita used to wear. It had blood splatters on it.

Two Weeks And Three Days Ago

There was a knock at the door. Nerissa opened it to reveal a man standing there. He looked tired. So tired. It was the same look as the rest of them had.

"Hello?"

" I take it you're Nerissa? " He spoke in a light Spanish accent.

"I am. "

"Rita told me about you. What happened to her? She's not replying, not returning my calls. She hasn't even appeared out of the blue."

" She's dead. "

The man turned away and ran his hands through his hair. He turned back around, eyes red and tear filled.

"How?"

" Why don't you come in? "

"How did she die?" His voice cracked .

"Please come in."

The man stepped inside and shut the door.

" She killed herself, " the man said. It wasn't a question. It was a statement.

Nerissa nodded.

It always ended the same.

No matter how much she cried, how many things were broken, how low she felt, even of the lowest days where it was just dark inescapable pits of depression. It always ended the same.

She'd drag herself up and make some tea. Then she'd sit and breathe and go about fixing the broken pieces. It was easier to clean up a broken vase or mould it back together than it was to sort out her mind.

Set between S1 and S2, Nixie and Lyla have left and it's just Rita and Sirena on land for now. Rita's having a low day and Sirena's there to help

Sirena "You're not dressed."

Rita "Didn't feel like it."

Are you okay?"

"Just in a… low mood. I forgot to pick up my prescription, I'll be alright by tomorrow."

"Have you eaten anything today?"

"No."

"Have you had anything to drink?"

"No."

"I'll get you some tea, if you go and get dressed. Then I'll come with you to get your prescription."

Sirena goes and makes tea then comes back

"You're still not dressed."

"I didn't feel like it."

Sirena set the cup of tea down on the desk. She picked up a blue t-shirt from a basket of neatly ironed clothes and held it out.

"Put it on. You need to get dressed."

Rita took the shirt from her.

Set after S3, Rita and Veridia are together, Rita cuts her wrists

She didn't remember much. There were feelings of a sickening pain. Shouts. Someone grabbing the blade from her hand. Blood. Darkness.

Now though, her throat was dry. Head was pounding. Being alive didn't feel right. The white indented ceiling pattern blurred. She had seen this before. Too many times before. Every morning when she woke up wishing she hadn't.

Her arm hurt. Her wrist stung. The pain ebbed and flowed. She tired to balance with it, predicting the peaks and falls like she did with waves.

Why did they save have to save me?

She wanted eternal darkness. They didn't understand. The state of living but feeling dead wore her down. Life wasn't happy. Being a Mermaid didn't automatically make everything good and happy. Going for a swim wasn't a magic cure for everything that was wrong. It's not just oh I'm sad, swims with dolphins or skulks in Moon Pool and then being fine again.

"I'm sorry."