DISCLAIMER: I don't own anything from the Naruto universe.

Thinking (+ flashbacks, "Mito speaking to the Kyuubi in her mindscape," etc.)

Emphasis

Bijuu, etc. speaking

Bijuu, etc. thinking

After ensuring Naru-chan was in school (and less than 36 hours after her surgery,) Mito felt well enough to take off. Her first stop was Anko's. Her best friend had a tiny little studio apartment that was actually pretty neat. She'd been chased out by that fast Uchiha but her clone did manage to plant an open, super-sized box of condoms in the middle of her couch before he'd chased her away. Mito wished she could've seen Anko's face when she discovered them. Or that Shisui-kid's face… He seemed like an innocent yet hard-core hotty.

Condoms were a good gift, from a medical standpoint. The tiny Mito in her mind cackled: for whatever reason, they also embarrassed the crap out of people.

Next on the list was a quick visit to Asuma and 'Ruto-chan. Mito nearly had a cow when she found a half-dressed Kurenai there but Kurenai had looked even more horrified at being found out. Mito stood in front of her favorite (nearly hysterical) parrot, gaping, as Asuma took off after his definite-girlfriend who had sunshinned away. After giving 'Ruto-chan her future coordinates and opening his cage door to do as he pleased, Mito took off to avoid Asuma's accidentally cockblocked wrath.

Her next stop was obvious: she needed to get her mission! She was especially excited that her godfather was in the village, although he seemed to be at the onsens. Realizing that he was alone, she flashed to the marker her father had put on him. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE, PERVERT!?" She'd tried to sound as much like Tsunade as possible. Comically, Jiraiya threw the stuff in his hands far into the air.

"Wow! Those are some very ninja-like reflexes ya got there, Ero-sama."

"You… brat," Jiraiya said, hand on heart, before pulling her in for a harsh hair ruffle. "I didn't recognize you without the… hair! Purple looks good on you! …I could've killed you."

"But you didn't: you just made a mess. What's this all about?" Jiraiya had dropped or thrown posters of himself along with his notebook and pen.

The Sage dramatically brandished his arms toward a REALLY large advertisement on the opposite wall that had Makeout Paradise and Violence on it along with his cheesily smiling face. Apparently, he was having a book signing.

Mito read the advertisement, still surprised that so many people (like Shizune) had such a hard time with his books - not that she ever openly advertised how she felt about the series other than reading the books. They were very popular and for good reason. "...And swimsuit modeling?" she read from the banner.

Jiraiya wiggled his big hairy eyebrows. "Are you here to model for me?"

"Shut up," Mito drawled, knowing he was joking. "What's this about?"

"A contest to find the next cover models for the upcoming book." Jiraiya jumped for joy when Mito pulled out and handed him back his manuscript. "You finished editing it already?" Mito nodded and she bit her lip. But her cheeks were turning red! "You liked it," he breathed, feeling deeply satisfied.

Mito twisted her lips and shrugged her shoulders before she couldn't stand it anymore. "It's REALLY good! I - I… 'Rochi-oji's gonna kill you but the drama - and the pain! The love story?! Oh my gosh! -The social isolation and discrimination? GAH! It was all so good!"

"Love conquers all," Jiraiya said happily as they both picked up his dropped posters.

"'Love conquers all?'" Mito gawked, her voice going high. "In YAOI, your second and third lovers DIE and the main guy runs away from you: turning traitor."

"Yeah… I didn't like writing that part," Jiraiya admitted, looking grim and thinking momentarily of his teammate. "But it's not me, Mito-chan: that's Dante-kun." Dante-kun was the protagonist, and yes: he was based more than a little on Jiraiya the Gallant. "Plus that ending will bring me to the next installment of the franchise: 'The Chase!'"

Mito's eyes unintentionally turned sparkly. "Icha-Icha: The Chase?" She let out a tiny squeal and covered her mouth, glaring at her godfather after glancing around for spies: daring him or anyone else to mention it. "You didn't hear that."

"Whatever makes you feel good, kid." Mito snorted and Jiraiya gave her a longer look. "You love romance. Calm down - I won't tell anyone! …Do you expect to find love in The Mist?"

Mito's eyes narrowed again. "Tease me all you want, Ero-ojii. You know I don't expect to find romance anywhere outside of a book! –It's just not real. Or for me, anyway," Mito admitted in a slightly more defeated voice. It was a little strange that her few friends were all dating now aside from the monks. It's not like she wanted to be categorized with dudes that disavowed sex and "worldly relationships."

She considered the whole thing more. Anko was being watched or held, supposedly, but Mito figured that wouldn't stop her from looking for a special someone (or a few someones.)

"Arrrr ya lookin' for a pirate?" Jiraiya teased.

Mito scoffed and probably turned redder than the red in her natural hair. –THIS is what she got for suggesting to Jiraiya ONE time that his book's lead should be a light-haired infiltrating shinobi pirate… Pirate shinobi: either/or.

Jiraiya sat down on the ground and began signing more posters. "I don't get it. You're a beautiful girl and you're of age now, Mito-chan."

"Of age for what?" Mito asked darkly. And I'm not beautiful. She had some serious scars and weird hair. "Cause if you're talking about marriage, then no!"

"I wasn't! Not yet." Jiraiya didn't like the way she snorted and looked so wary. "There are a lot of good men in the village." He hummed to himself. "What do you think about Genma-kun? Or Raido-kun? Or maybe even G-"

Where did that come from?! "Tou-san's guards?" Mito interrupted. "I guess they're okay; I've never interacted with Genma-san, I don't think. Shizune says he's a playboy if that's the kind of thing you mean, but I've heard good things about him as a shinobi." I'm pretty sure that Shizune's secretly dating "Washi-kun:" otherwise she wouldn't have called him that. Briefly, she wondered if Jiraiya knew that since Iwashi-san was the one he left out. "I only know them through stories or what have ya."

Like, when I attacked them that time with a medical table. She'd also thrown or booted some ANBUs out of her father's window once or twice, now that she thought about it more but she hadn't paid a lick of attention to who they were.

Jiraiya hummed again before signing yet another poster. "I don't know if the playboy label is fair. It's far more accurate to say that Genma-kun's popular. –Good looking, strong but laid back; he's got a great job…"

"Then he has his fair share of romantic attention already. The last thing I'm sure he needs is an old man trying to set him up with someone 'scary.'" Mito smiled, purposely showing off her very sharp canines at the last second which he, unfortunately, fully ignored.

"I'm not old," he grumbled. "And is that what you think you are: 'scary?'"

Mito shrugged but knew damn well that's what people thought of her. She should be proud of her reputation but it never fit the way she thought of herself mentally. –Or how she felt she should be. Or what she wanted her reputation to be... Whatever. "So. I finished the edit. Now, who's my Mist contact?"

She waited and then wiggled her eyebrows, rubbing her hands together, for an extra-eager effect.

Jiraiya groaned.

.

Hideki snuck up on Kakashi. "Why did you send Mito-chan flowers?"

"Hmm?" Kakashi turned around, still with his book in his face and looking like he didn't have a care in the world. "Was I not supposed to? She was in the hospital."

Spiderman, the spider monkey, fell on top of the so-called Copy Ninja from the ceiling and pulled his hair.

"Hey!"

"What are your intentions with our little sister?"

Kakashi looked puzzled and scratched the back of his hair, pulling the little monkey off of him. "Maa, I suppose I'd like to get that draft of Icha-Icha I hadn't seen before…"

"Oh, forget it!"

Hideki snuck up on Iwashi when he was with Genma. "Why did you send Mito-chan flowers?" At least this time, both of his targets jumped.

Iwashi began picking up the papers he'd thrown. "Hokage-sama's daughter was in the hospital. My… friend first told me," he answered (meaning Shizune) as his cheeks turned pink. "I'd rather stay on hime-sama's good side." Plus, they really weren't from him. Hokage-sama had asked him to ensure his daughter's hospital room had flowers: that was all.

Okay, maybe he sent her a second arrangement but neither Monkey nor Shizune needed to know that.

Enma, the Monkey King, dropped down in front of the two men, wishing he was anywhere else. The Sarutobi siblings were sometimes quite overprotective. "What are your intentions with the little vixen?"

"Don't call her that," Hideki hissed, grossing out behind his ANBU mask.

Genma scratched the back of his bandana. "I suppose I'd like to get that draft of Icha-Icha that Kakashi-kun's been talking about…"

"RAH!" Hideki turned and left, Enma dispelling with a puff of smoke.

"Hime-sama's kind of hot," Genma said as he thought about it more and twirled his senbon between his lips. "Now that I think about it. Well, I mean: it's easy enough to see…"

Iwashi agreed but there was something more important about the Leaf Princess: "She's terrifying, though!"

.

Much later that evening, Jiraiya clambered into his student's/leader's window to find the blonde man pacing. That made him have to hope that he could fully hide his intoxication. He was supposed to have been here a while ago but some of his biggest fans had begged them to have another drink with him. How could he say no when they were buying?!

"Sensei, have you seen Mito-hime?" The way Jiraiya stopped moving halfway through the window told Minato most of what he needed to know. "Have - have you corrupted her with your books?! –Was she at your book signing?!"

"Yes, no - or maybe. Probably not since she's into it - and yes?" Jiraiya asked more than said. "She left this morning."

Minato hummed, not liking where this was going one little bit. He also didn't like that his little girl collected those awful books. "Yes, she left the hospital against orders." And she's not with Anko.

Jiraiya couldn't help the bellowing laughter that erupted from his half-drunken mouth. "Oh, that kid! I tell ya what: a med nin that knows what Tsunade-hime could do to her -er, try to do to her - and yet takes off anyway." He wiped a tear from his eye before he realized what Minato's reaction might mean. "She didn't uh… check out at the ANBU desk?"

Suddenly it seemed as if the Hokage's office became very, very quiet. And cold. "Check out to do what?" Minato asked in just over a whisper.

Jiraiya looked at the Hokage incredulously. "Her mission?"

"What mission is that?!"

"Give me a break! You told her I had a contact for her!" Jiraiya hoped that was true.

Minato tried to calm his heart rate but his effort was futile. He had mentioned that but he wanted to go over some things with his daughter. And possibly better seal the Kyuubi to deal with the whole Naruto-issue since Tsunade confirmed that she was healthy. And not send her to the Bloody Damn Mist! Especially not alone! "You have got to be kidding me!"

He summoned a toad and sent her to find his wayward daughter. The toad came back within minutes.

"Yes, Minato-sama. Mito-sama is in Water Country. She says 'Hello and how's it going?'"

Minato put his fist through the coffeemaker before jumping back because of the heat and broken glass. "What is she doing there? Presently?"

The small pink toad - who was new to messenger duties - wondered if she'd misunderstood her assignment. "She's waiting, sir?"

.

Asuma glared at the morons who had dared manipulate his sister. Albeit unknowingly on Mito's part. "Is there a reason you two sent Mito ramen?" Teuchi, fortunately, had no problem selling the bastards out to him!

Raido looked at the man sitting next to him for help.

"Maa, maa. Ramen at least used to be her favorite. I knew she wouldn't be around long and… I appreciate what she did. I was never able to say so before. She's very brave."

Asuma looked the shinobi in the eye: he seemed like he was being honest, and he remembered them all being trapped in that barrier when the demon fox had attacked. The two of them had helplessly watched Mito as she ran toward the demon fox alongside Orochimaru. "Yeah. She is. BUT she doesn't know YOU sent it!" Asuma let something out he'd never admit sounded like demented, satisfied cackles. "Ja!" He disappeared in a sunshin.

"That was a little odd."

"RIVAL!"

"Maa, Raido-kun! Speak of The Odd and He Will Come."

.

A week later, Mito was, once again, sitting in a clearing as she leaned against Tora the tiger, meditating. Tora was a little laid-back and absent-minded for the job but he looked so damn terrifying she felt he'd make quite an impression on her target. If he or she ever showed up.

Or maybe she was the target…

Mito had been forced to listen (for days) to the fox insisting that HER little brother was HIS older reincarnated quarter-human half-brother in the weirdest internal conversations she could ever imagine. She did enjoy learning about ninshu but the idea of an alien princess who was locked in the moon being the progenitor of chakra seemed pretty damn over the top. At least the fox seemed like he was, otherwise, being more reasonable.

Not that I can trust him. She thought that she could've trusted him with Sora-kun…

The best thing about being on this island was that the ocean, bayous, and streams made working on improving her water jutsus a breeze. She was trying to combine them, specifically, with the Hermit's chakra now that she had so much room to maneuver but was having very little luck, however.

So far!

"You're nervous," the tiger said between paw licks. He'd taken down a large boar and was a mess.

"Yeah. I mean, this is my biggest mission ever, ya know. And as I've explained before, I have no idea if they'll try to knock me out, just try to kill me, or what have you. I mean, there are protocols for things like this but hunter nins go around them all the time. …We're about to have company. Stay cool." Maybe that was a stupid thing to say because she felt a chill in the early evening air before anything else.

Please. Let me help and be of use here. Let me heal more than harm. And take down Obito.

Did she deserve that kind of peace if she was only here to kill Obito, though?

And Yagura, too? What kind of monster have you turned into, Mito?

She and the tiger stood and Mito waited for the shinobi to show himself. The nin was VERY good at hiding his chakra. Not good enough, though. "Yo!"

She heard the echoing of quiet chuckles surrounding her as a chakra-enhanced mist came over the clearing. Tora crouched down and Mito stroked his fur as he wrapped himself around her as much as possible. Minutes later, she met the shinobi's kunai that was thrust at her back with one of her own. Tora crouched and hissed ferociously but thankfully hadn't moved to intercept. The guy hadn't moved with any Killing Intent and in fact, had been slow. "Is that the way you greet a stranger, Jonin-san?" The vapor in the air dropped and Mito smiled at her contact. She'd also be polite to the baka that was still hiding. "You can come out, too, Hozuki-san."

"I told ya, Chukichi: she's a sensor," Mangetsu said from the treeline.

"I see," Chukichi said. He gave her a polite bow. "Thank you for saving my comrade. Mangetsu-san," he called over his shoulder, (having meant him,) "you may leave now."

"I'm not going to do thaaat," the teen swordsman whined obnoxiously.

Mito remained calm and professional but definitely thought that kid needed discipline. "Would you like to speak in private then?" she asked the Jonin-level shinobi. He had three purple tattoos on his face: one on his chin and two more that swept from under his little round sunglasses back and below his ears. Interestingly, he wore prayer beads around his neck: something she saw occasionally at the Fire Temple. "I can put down a silencing seal."

The Kiri shinobi continued to glance from her eyes back to the tiger's, which was understandable.

"Show me, please."

THIS time, Mito did it with a nearby seal that was on paper although she didn't need to. She made sure to be careful and deliberate in her movements, something she usually was anyway. This time she slowed things down. "You may call me Fox."

"So Mangetsu-san said. You know your way around seals?"

Mito nodded, wondering if he was actually impressed by a silencing seal. Surely not.

"I have known Jiraiya-sama since I was young," he said, surprising her. "May I ask why Konoha is involving itself in the rebellion?"

Gosh: this guy is so polite! That's normally not how most nins would describe Kiri shinobis, but then again (probably thanks to Jiraiya) most people thought that everyone in Konoha was a pervert. "Konoha is NOT involving itself in the rebellion, although I'm sure that Mangetsu-san told you that a rogue nin has settled down near your Mizukage."

Her target took a slow, deep breath. "You're sure of that?" Hozuki had, in fact, told him about the rogue Uchiha potentially infiltrating Kiri - or at least Fox-san's assertion of that being the case.

"I'm positive. I don't know his exact… goals aside from 'world domination' but I can feel his chakra signature even now."

"That means your range is broad," he determined aloud. He knew exactly where the Mizukage was but couldn't feel anyone around him. They were too far away for that but Chukichi was sure that Yagura was well-guarded. Yagura was a jinchuuriki and didn't bother to hide his chakra most of the time. "You are a hunter nin." Chukichi knew that the mask wasn't right for one, however.

"I am not," Mito answered honestly, wondering if this guy could sense lies since his chakra was all over her. It wasn't uncomfortable: just probing. And she had told Mangey that she wasn't a hunter nin! "The rogue I'm after has powerful abilities."

"You believe he could be influencing Mizukage-sama," Chukichi said - either knowingly or questioningly. His affect was pretty flat.

"That's what I fear." They sat in silence as Chukichi seemed to ponder that. "Were you aware of him?"

Chukichi thought of what he'd sensed in Yagura's bunker. Malevolent intent; a certain giddiness even over burning, nearly constant anger as the unknown shinobi seemed to almost "phase" indiscriminately, for lack of a better word. He'd assumed the presence that was often in the bunker very near the current Mizukage was simply a guard or another spy for the rebellion that he'd yet to meet but perhaps he'd been derelict in his responsibilities. He had reported the shinobi to the rebellion's leaders but hadn't considered that the individual could be from another village, necessarily. "Perhaps."

"The man I'm seeking has a teleportation ability," Mito said, glad this guy was so thoughtful. Unless he was really hiding it, she sensed no ill will from him, either, although she wouldn't let her guard down.

"Has this ability been stolen from the Yondaime Hokage?"

Mito sighed but it came out like a scoff. "No," she began, shaking her head as anger burned in her veins and coils again. "Chukichi" definitely noticed: he'd sat up more. "Sorry. No: this guy's teleportation ability is different." She didn't plan on telling them it came from his damn dojutsu as then someone from the Mist might try to steal his remaining eyeball. If Hatake Kakashi, a non-Uchiha, could use the Sharingan, who was to say that someone else couldn't, too? There was silence between them until Mito's stomach growled.

"Would you like some dinner? Tora, here, just killed a boar." She patted the tiger's big bloated stomach, glad that he liked to share. With her anyway.

Tora was a show-off when it came to hunting.

"Yes?"

That was good enough for Mito. "I'll make a clone to prepare it. …Can Mangetsu-san join us?"

"Since he refuses to leave? Of course."

The tiger yawned and looked at Mito's meatier target appraisingly. "You can have some if you get me some funyuns."

"Don't be rude, Tora!"

.

Mito internally cursed when Obito's chakra signature, like a vortex, disappeared the next day. Of all the times for him to take off!

Mangetsu's younger brother was the one who came for them in the most unusual of ways. Mito had felt someone approach through the water (and Mangetsu had panicked, apparently also sensing his brother's chakra) but when "Suigetsu" arrived and got yelled at, his head was out of the water but the rest of him was "waterlogged?" –Was that a good thing to call it? The boy's body was in liquid form, anyway.

Mito wondered if that helped him get to them faster. It didn't seem like it would…

"There's been another raid: a bad one," the kid said before tilting his head and looking Mito over. "Is that the broad you told me about?"

Mito twitched and glared at Mangetsu.

Mangetsu's panic returned.

"Do your allies require a medic?" The kid shrugged - or the water below his head did.

"Yeah."

"I want you to stay here," Mangetsu ordered his younger brother. "Fox, there are mostly children at that camp!"

"Well let's go then!"

…

Again, she found carnage in the wake of the current Mist regime's attack. Mito made dozens of clones to either order people around (Emergency Medical Protocols) or directly handle the aftermath of another one of Yagura's purges on those with a Kekkei Genkai. If her problem with the Mizukage wasn't personal before, it certainly was now. She DESPISED people hurting innocents! "How could someone do this?!" She stabilized all of the children, mainly, that she could before going into surgery, heavily guarded the entire time. By the beginning of the third day, she was exhausted and had had enough of her watchers.

"If you fuckers aren't going to help, you can at least get the hell out of here so there's less chance of bacteria spreading!"

One of the rebellion shinobis clicked his tongue. "In my day, a young lady wouldn't use such coarse language!"

"Well in my day - which is in THIS CENTURY by the way - they do!" Little did Mito know that she'd just yelled at the supposed leader of the rebellion. "Ancient one-eyed fucker," she mumbled under her breath as her modified chakra scalpel burned brightly again.

.

"We have a problem," Ao said to the woman actually leading the latest stages of the rebellion.

"Oh? What is it now, Ao?"

"The foreign healer at the southern camp: she is not wearing a henge, however, she's a jinchuuriki."

Mei sat back in her chair, stunned, almost speechless. "The med-nin from Konoha?"

Ao nodded. He'd confirmed it with his stolen byakugan.

"Isn't that interesting."