DISCLAIMER: I don't own anything from the Naruto universe. This is my Mito, though.

Thinking (+ flashbacks, "Mito speaking to Kurama in her mindscape," etc.)

Emphasis

Bijuu, etc. speaking

Bijuu, etc. thinking

Mito rubbed her hands together, frustrated, as she waited for her father on a bench in the hallway outside of his office. They needed to get this show on the road!

Her birthday night out had been fun and Mito had somehow even managed to get Tenzo into her apartment, alone.

That guy, she now knew without a doubt, was a lost cause. Ever getting with a guy is a lost cause, she thought to herself mournfully.

Unfortunately, when she brought Tenzo into her apartment, Mito had forgotten about all of her "birthday presents" sitting around her now (as far as she was concerned) beautifully decorated flat. She had kissed him by the door - only something kind of soft and sweet - and began to make tea when she, horrified, noticed him looking at everything and freaking out. Or at least she thought he had been...

She tried to quickly - and then at length - explain that all the dildos, vibrators, etc., were gag gifts (at least some of them were,) but poor innocent-seeming Tenzo looked overwhelmed. Mito had madly tried to gather them up: they filled her arms and spilled out on the floor - finally throwing them into a paper storage seal that she had pre-made in the back of her office. There was a fight in her living room, and when she ran out of her little office, Genma and Kakashi had already dragged Tenzo out and sunshinned away.

What the fuck was their problem? It was OBVIOUS that she and Tenzo weren't going to work out, sadly, and Gen and Kakashi been arguing and fighting at the karaoke bar before that, too!

Kakashi had actually dedicated a really nasty rap song he performed about killing a motherfucker to Genma for fuck's sake! And that guy never normally participated on a microphone!

"How's it going, Mito?" Genma asked.

"Don't talk to me."

Genma sighed. He knew that Mito was pissed off at him and he had been acting like a juvenile. Plus he'd sort of broken into/opened the unlocked door of her flat and entered uninvited with Kakashi (kidnapping/rescuing Tenzo: Genma was positive even Tenzo didn't know which) which definitely wasn't cool. Then again, he was pretty sure that she was responsible, at least ultimately, for his living room wall later being painted dark purple and black. Aside from the five words painted in white in the middle of it, of course, when he got home:

HOME OF THE INTERVENING DIPSHIT

I wonder what she did to Hatake's place. "I'm sorry, Mito. It won't happen again."

"You're goddamn right it won't happen again, Gen," Mito steamed. "If it happens again, I'll punch your ass through the Hokage Mountain: right through my father's spiky hair. Do you feel me?"

"I feel ya," Genma said, raising his hands in surrender. "I swear: I get ya!" He stood in silence for a while longer, wondering how long he could stand it. Mito had become a dear friend, especially over the past few weeks or more and he'd been a jerk, in the end. "I'm sorry I ruined your birthday."

"Ahhhh," Mito said as she looked down, smiling crookedly, and finally waved his apology off. "It's alright. I don't… understand, exactly, what your deal was OR why you were fighting with Kakashi-kun but that's your business. And I actually had a really GOOD night -aside from the whole Tenzo thing."

That poor guy. She'd been scaring the shit out of Tenzo, hadn't she?

Mito and Tenzo got along so well! But any time she touched the hottie, even in a friendly, accidental way, he turned skittish. But then again, he always comes back to see me after his missions. Mito just didn't get it before; she thought he was shy. "I hope he's not mad at me." She really did enjoy talking about jutsus and other stuff with him.

"I'm sure he's not." Genma wasn't even sure who Mito was talking about. Tenzo or Kakashi, he assumed. The idea of either made his stomach churn.

"I hope you're right," she sighed, looking up at him and smiling softly again. "The girls decorated my apartment while I was out yesterday. I'm hopeless with that kind of thing. Ha! Putting my stuff up was a wonderful present in itself, really."

Either you or "the girls" decorated my apartment, too. "I heard about your actual presents," Genma grinned. He wiggled his eyebrows at her once suggestively when Mito gasped and blushed cutely, rolling his senbon to the other side of his mouth. "Man, I need friends who are so considerate of my needs."

Mito threw back her head and laughed, just as he hoped she would.

"Hey wait! How did you hear about what they gave me?" Mito thought she had most of the pervy evidence sealed away by the time he and Kakashi rumbled in and out of her living room.

"Anko-chan."

"Well, of course," Mito sighed, shaking her head. She didn't really care; she loved her friends. There were a few really weird toys they'd given her that Mito wasn't sure what to do with, though. –And there were a couple of other things that definitely got her imagination working.

Who the heck gave me a dominatrix outfit? That had to be expensive!
Probably anyone in the village. Mito knew that she could be bossy.

What a great gag/gag-ish gift.

Genma looked around, knowing full well that there were ninjas everywhere but really not caring. Anko brought this on herself when she poisoned him last time. "Iruka-sensei and Anko-chan were making out in the bathroom at the karaoke bar last night."

"WHAT?" Mito gasped, looking around in shock and praying no one was listening. What was Genma doing saying something like that out loud? Well, at least she knew to question Anko about it now. "No way! She's not… She hits for the home team, ya know?" she whispered.

"Maybe Umino Iruka is a better batter - or an even better sensei than we thought," he said, rolling his senbon again as he looked down at her slyly. "Teaching her the way of the…" Genma was suddenly highly aware (in a different way) that Mito was a young, tempestuous female: they were sensitive, he believed, and her overprotective father was on the other side of the door with Shikaku. Yikes.

"The Way of the Bone?" Mito quietly giggled. "The Way of the Wood… No, that would be Tenzo."

"Ha! That guy's no sensei for that subject."

"HEY! Not cool, Genma: not cool at all. …Be nice to Tenzo-kun!"

Genma nodded; he was completely out of line and acting jealous again. He sighed heavily. "You really like Tenzo, huh?"

"Yeah. I mean… He's a great guy."

"He is," Genma agreed sadly. "And he's a very strong, loyal shinobi."

Mito nodded. "He's a great… friend."

Genma pulled out his senbon, licking his dry lips, before pulling out some ChapStick. "You're not interested in him?"

"Like that?" Mito asked, looking up at him with big, mainly blue eyes. She must have been extremely obvious. Of course, I was. I swear I am so lame. She'd felt she had to be extremely open about her (lust) feelings with Tenzo, though. "No," she said softly - but firmly. The door to her father's office finally opened and Mito went in to be sworn in as an ambassador of Konoha. "I'll see ya, Genma." She turned to her father, wanting to stomp her foot. "What a drag."

"I couldn't have said it better myself, kid," Shikaku said. He closed the door behind them. "As a failed ambassador of Suna, I thought it might be a good idea to debrief you on what I can about the job in general. We don't need a repeat."

"You are not a failed ambassador, Shikaku," Minato sighed, feeling bad for the man who blamed himself for not knowing about Rasa's demise or Orochimaru's rise in Suna. "You're far too valuable here to continue doing that additional assignment, anyway."

"Has Suna chosen a Kazekage?"

"Suna's a mess right now. Be glad you're not being assigned there, kid." Minato took out so many Suna shinobis, it would be a wonder if Suna recovered without being taken over by rogues or another village. What a drag, indeed.

"Are you ready, Jonin Namikaze?" Minato tried not to snicker when Mito quickly shook her head with big pleading eyes. His daughter was going to make a very interesting ambassador - but she was the one Mei wanted - and with everything that happened with Suna, especially, Mito could make things work, he was sure. "Well, that's tough for you! Give me your right hand and place your left fist over your heart. I'll lead you in the oath of office…"

Aside from preparing for the Chunin Exams, Shikaku had only met with the (now deceased) Suna ambassador once every quarter or six months.

Mito could make this work. She had to make this thing with Kiri work!

A seal lit up on the back of her hand and Mito raised it. Everything they were discussing regarding her new position was very obvious and things had broken down to teasing and joking between her father and his best friend and closest advisor, making Mito feel the need to get out of Dodge. "Tsunade has an interesting case for me," she explained, showing them the purple diamond that was pulsing on her hand. "May I go?"

Minato nodded. "I think we've covered all of the ground rules. You're dismissed."

Mito flashed to the hospital. Tsunade was in her office rather than in the OR. "Huh." She knocked on the door and found her with Hyuuga Hizashi, who was wearing a KMPF uniform. "Am I disturbing you?" She held up her hand as an explanation of why she was there.

"It worked!" Tsunade grinned. She pressed chakra into her hand's matching diamond and both faded into her and Mito's skin. Only a faint white outline was left that showed three diamonds, each one color-coded depending on how badly Mito was needed.

With some further testing and a few alterations, Tsunade planned to roll it out to the rest of the med nins and hospital staff.

"Of course, it worked," Mito replied testily, irked that Tsunade thought her seal wouldn't. "What's up?"

Hizashi, surprisingly enough, was the one to speak up. "I need a medic to assist with a raid on an opium den."

"Well, it looks like you've found your girl," Mito said, wondering exactly what she was getting herself into. She'd read enough about opium dens and addiction: overdoses, etc. She'd only dealt with heroin addicts in the kind of setting she anticipated, though, and then only twice. "How many people are we looking at?"

"129."

Mito gaped, her eyes popping out of her head but swallowed her shock down, hard. "Let me get the supplies I need and I'll be right back." She hoped the hospital had enough of… everything on hand to properly care for what those poor people might be experiencing and suffering from.

It was when she first entered the pharmacy that Mito first began hearing some interesting whispers being quickly silenced - rumors about herself.

Hizashi had watched his deceased Genin teammate's daughter leave. "Do you think she can handle what we're dealing with?"

"Mito's tough. You've spotted 129 users - or does that number include thugs and the yakuza, too?"

"All of the above, and some of the users we've been following are in the Bingo Book."

Tsunade nodded, sickened but having been through this shit before: over and over again. People never learned and the yakuza never stopped. Pain: people in pain; that's what drove it all.

Bad or not, (and it was,) Tsunade was glad her drug of choice was booze. "I think Mito's leaning toward specializing in Trauma Surgery but she's also focused on Emergency Medicine. She needs to see this." She sighed. "She can fight if you need her help, too." The pony-tailed blonde then chewed on the inside of her cheek. "Boy, can she fight."

.

Later that night -

Anko couldn't stop the snickering and bubbling laughter that was beyond her control. Mito had somehow gotten totally baked by the end of the big raid that had gone down in the Red Light District. Shouldn't the fox take care of this? Ever since then, Mito had just been staring straight ahead of her with her lips or mouth hanging open.

MUCH earlier in the night:

"How did you lose your filtration mask?"
Mito slowly looked up at her and it took her several more seconds to seem to recognize her best friend. –Or maybe she didn't.

"Patient 42 attacked my face."

"Your face?"

"My face?" Mito's hands came up to touch her face but then Mito seemed to be tripping out on her hands.

After that little gem, Anko made a clone so that she could grab one of those smartphones that had been "requisitioned" from Yuki-via-Wave so that she could record all of this for (blackmail) posterity.

God love her: Mito had managed to make it all the way through the entire raid and the following (or initial) follow-up care before taking herself out of rotation. Somehow, no one had realized just how bad off she was and Anko had heard that even after Tsunade-hime rechecked Mito's work, Mito had handled everyone/everything just as she was supposed to have.

Despite Mito's heroic-ish (definitely yellow-LIGHT on the grand color scale of heroics, Anko thought) efforts today, Anko was desperately trying to talk Mito into doing that weird dance she and Shizune or Asuma did again when someone knocked on her office door and opened it. "Genma? Boo. Boring! Go away."

"Tsk. I'm here to administer the antidote to Mito." To a couple of things…

"Why you?" Anko asked suspiciously. "Shizune and Mito share this office and she's been in and outta here a half-dozen times." On her last break, Shizune also tried to get Mito out of her chair. –Anko had hoped that was so she could record Mito's dancing, too, but Shizune made Anko stop. Granted, Shizune did try to sneak something into Mito's cold coffee: some med nin she was. Mito just kept sitting there and staring at nothing, while nothing happened at that time.

At least Shizune had verified that Mito was fine. She was just high as a kite. STILL!

"I ran some tests on Mito-chan a little while ago and came up with something I thought might help. When I ran into Shizune on the way to see Mito earlier, she wanted to take a look at it: make sure that it wouldn't affect what she planned to give her for the uhhh… opium thing," Genma half-explained. Anko narrowed her brown eyes at him and Genma rolled his. "You can ask Shizune if you want, although she's very busy." And not in a pleasant mood.

Shizune happened to open the door again a second or two right after that. "Hey," she drawled to them both, pursing her lips when she saw that Mito looked the same. "Mito, close your mouth before you catch a fly!"

"Fly," Mito repeated without inflection.

Anko pointed at Genma. "Did you okay Orally Fixated, here, to give Mito something: some kinda antidote?"

"Yes!" Shizune cried, wanting Mito to return to work. Things had calmed down but she wanted to go home! "What are you waiting for, Senbon?!"

"Alright, alright: geez," Genma griped, carefully touching Mito's shoulder although she was really out of it. "Yo, Mito. I'm going to give you something to make you feel better, hm?" Mito stared right through him.

"Give me that," Shizune barked, feeling frustrated. "MIto! Open your mouth."

"Mouth."

"Wait, wait, wait," Anko begged, seeing this as her last chance. She pulled out the phone and hit the Record button again, making sure it was on Video; she'd screwed that up before. "Mito, say 'BRAAAAINS,'" Anko said, imitating what she'd seen in movies.

Mito stared at Anko and then at the phone blankly, her eyes getting bigger and bigger as she (might have been) trying to oddly focus on it. "Brains. ...Fox."

"Now stick out your arms like this," Anko requested, not having heard the last thing - and smiling like a loon - trying to get Mito into the perfect position so that she really looked like the zombie she was. Shizune, though, ruined her fun, pushing her aside and chopping Mito in the spine before turning the little vial of liquid down her throat while pinching Mito's nostrils closed. She slapped her friend in the throat.

Mito swallowed and then blinked rapidly, grabbing her throat. It felt like she had pop rocks going off in her brain: little explosions opening up her neural pathways!

"YOU," Kurama snapped his fingers at his vessel. Now he was highly annoyed. "How dare you! For a few blessed hours, I'd forgotten I was stuck inside you, you worm!"

Chakra started rapidly swirling around her.

Open:

Gate of Opening

Gate of Life

Gate of Healing

Gate of Pain

"MITO," Genma yelled, beginning to panic. THIS was not supposed to be happening!

Shizune's eyes were wide with fear. Even Anko had backed up a few steps before she had to put chakra down so she wasn't thrown out of the nearby open window.

"KAI!" Mito's chakra boomed through the room, blowing papers and various little trinkets everywhere. Was I in a genjutsu?!

"Mito-chan!"

Mito jumped up, gasping over and over again, and had to move! "TOO MUCH! Too much!"

Too many chakra signatures! Too much… too much something else, too! Adrenaline?

What the HELL?

"Mito! Are You Okay?"

Mito took a literal second and evaluated herself. She nodded and jumped (up on the desk,) looking for… something. Escape?

She shook and shimmied all over, trying to get rid of the absolutely awful feeling.

"Dance, Mito, dance!"

Trying not to hyperventilate, Mito couldn't STOP hopping around - for more than a few crazy seconds. "Wh- What? My fucking brain AND COILS! What the fuck?! I've got so much potential energy; it's like lightning's bolting through my... –ARE YOU RECORDING ME YOU ASSHOLE?!"

The last bit of video on Anko's precious was a furious Mito launching herself over her desk at her.

.

In the middle of the night, (and onward,) Mito took over Shizune's duties, caring for all of the people that had been brought in from the raid that were too critical or weak to be sent to the other "departments" or another hospital's care. There were also several cops who'd been forced to be admitted for exposure or the wounds resulting from the big fight that broke out with those slash-happy and high Ame and Kiri rogue nins.

God, what a mess.

The part of the Red Light District the opium joint was in was filled with yakuza: ones that no one was doing a damn thing about. It didn't make any sense: this was a Hidden Village! What? Was the area supposed to be classified as a civilian district? Even civilian districts should be overseen by the ninja government, shouldn't they? Or some kind of legitimate government like non-hidden villages should have.

Was she being naive? Mito needed to study the village charter more. Maybe, as a council member, she could do something about it. She needed more information.

She entered a victim's room and held out her hand, dipping her head to the elderly woman who was weeping next to Mito's patient. The young woman in the bed was intubated; Mito was simply glad that, for THIS person, at least, to have her family with her as so many of the victims still hospitalized had no family.

No, that wasn't right. Mito couldn't wrap her head around the things she heard from family members tonight:

"If you think I'm going to spend one more second with that failure then you're mistaken! She's no longer my daughter."

"He's a shame to the Hanishawa name! If I find out he's ever used our proud family name again, I'll kill him myself!"

"I don't care what you say, sensei. That whore's dead to me."

"Namikaze Mito," Mito greeted the elderly woman. "I'm your daughter's physician tonight. Thank you for coming. I think my colleague, Kato Shizune, came by earlier but I wanted to see if I can get you anything or if you have any questions."

The older woman rubbed her face, thanking Mito for giving her a new box of tissues, before trying to dry her eyes again. "I'm her grandmother, sensei. Awi's parents… they… They wouldn't come!"

"I see. Am I to understand that Awi-san has been through this before then?" The woman nodded.

Mito tried to get comfortable as the elderly woman began her granddaughter's tale of heartbreak.

.

The next evening, Mito didn't make her way to the Hokage Tower to get more information. No, she went to the back door of the brothel that was nearest to where the raid went down. Knocking on the door and sighing, she kept up her henge as a large peephole's door was opened.

"What do you want, kunoichi?" a woman in approximately her mid-forties growled out her.

Mito twisted her lips: this woman had chakra and was probably a former kunoichi, herself. "I come bearing peace and a fuck ton of condoms - and a request for a private conversation."

The woman's visible eye narrowed. "Let's see this fuck ton of condoms." The woman deadpanned at what the kunoichi produced from a seal in her arm. To her knowledge, there was only one kunoichi in Konoha who used seals on the body as if they were envelopes or drawers on a desk. "Is that a… display?"

"Yeah," Mito grinned. "I did it for Halloween and I know I'm early but I arranged the condoms to look like a pumpkin! I have another bunch that is arranged in the shape of a cat."

"It looks like a circle."

"There's a stem," Mito nearly whined, pointing to the top of the supposed circle. "And there's eyes and a jack-o-lantern type mouth: see," she said, indicating the areas where there were fewer condoms. She wasn't an artist, dammit, but she'd done her best.

"I guess I see it now," the doorkeeper admitted. "We'll take those but I don't want anyone related to that damn Hokage in my establishment. If you're serious about leaving them here, then leave them on the porch. I'll know when you leave."

"I bet you will," Mito said - not really under her breath. She began to unload one of her seals and then thought better of it. "Can I just leave my scroll?" The woman behind the door grunted and seemed to nod. Mito dropped it on the porch and offered her a wave before flashing off. "I'll be back."

"Oh, I bet you will, Uzumaki. Or should I call you 'Namikaze?'"

The Hokage's last name was hissed like a curse.

Just when she was FINALLY getting to sleep, Mito heard morons climbing through her smallest bedroom/makeshift clinic window. She turned on the light and quickly helped a bloody and explosive-powder-covered Green Beast through it.

"I tol' him we fould fwait to fe infited in," Gai hissed, squinting from the bright overhead light.

"Don't worry about it but NEXT TIME," Mito demanded in little more than a murmur, apologizing a little louder moments later for trying to peel remnants of Gai's green jumpsuit off of his skin. "Man, that's really stuck. Hang on," she asked the man, nodding at Gai's assumed boyfriend who followed him in as she wetted a cloth and unrolled a scroll that had a few nontoxic solvents, should water not work. "Who would like to explain?"

"I didn't want to go to the hospital," they both said at the same time and then glared at each other.

"You walked right into that trap, Gai," Kakashi chided. He pulled out a med kit and put some ninja wire on what looked like a knitting needle as if to help stitch Gai up with it!

"Are you crazy? Don't treat your partner like that! I'll do it!"

"Eh? 'Partner?'"

"Seriously." Mito had no time for their foolishness. "What happened?"

"You lofst," Gai smiled at Kakashi proudly, presenting Mito with his missing front tooth.

"I don't normally do teeth Gai." Said man gasped and began to tremble. "Shhhh. The root's attached so I can stick it in your face. Put it in milk next time you lose one. Ehh - I'm not really sure if that's even right: probably long-term, it is." Mito disinfected the tooth and then had Gai hold it firmly in his gum as she went about applying chakra, hoping that it would stimulate enough cellular growth to hold it in his mouth. "You need to see a dentist or preferably that periodontist guy tomorrow. And how is this winning?"

Gai smiled. Mito grimaced; she'd definitely healed that tooth at more of a sloping angle than she'd ever intended. "I challenged Kakashi on who could set off the most explosions and survive."

"That's a shitty challenge!"

Kakashi bobbed his head in agreement.

"But I won and I gained entrance here, did I not?" Gai asked.

If Kakashi thought she couldn't tell that he was waving his arms behind Mito while shaking his head, his chakra quivering, he was wrong. There were a few shadows in this room and she was an elite ninja besides that. "You two wanted to come here? I LIVE here, ya know: you could've knocked." She gave Kakashi the stink eye for what he did with Tenzo. He didn't look guilty at all! "And one of you thinks he can enter my apartment uninvited anyway, right, Kakashi?"

"Right," Kakashi agreed despite Mito's narrowed eyes, thinking it was fun to tick her off.

"Mito-chan," Gai said quietly. "It is better not to go to one of… those establishments in order to obtain satisfaction." Kakashi began choking. Gai tilted his head at his eternal rival. "We are friends are we not?"

"Hmm?" Mito asked. "What are you talking about?" She palpated around Gai's musclebound torso, neck, and arm here and there, determining as best she could in her flat that he didn't have any broken bones or other more serious issues.

"Sexual needs," Gai hissed, wondering if Mito's air conditioner had just turned on. His host and friend simply kept working and he was used to his rival acting oddly in various scenarios - plus he was probably concussed.

More like about to be.

Kakashi tried to climb back out of the window but Mito jerked him back inside by his ankle, quickly tying him to a chair. He sighed and went limp, figuring that it wouldn't be right to leave Gai here, anyway. Or to fight back in Mito's own apartment after what he did with Tenzo.

Gai's voice dropped even more, relatively unconcerned with Kakashi's present captivity. "Brothels are most unyouthful, Mito-chan. I'm sure you can find… suitable partnership for your flowering… Hmm?" Mito had picked him up and tossed him over her shoulder, dragging Kakashi in the chair he was tied up in behind her. "Where are we going?"

Once outside, Mito placed the tied-up chair and Copy Ninja in Gai's arms. "Out."

Once "out," she punted the men across the village.

The next morning -

Mito ran up and hug-attacked her three cute students. They were a very welcome distraction from what she had tried NOT to hear about herself around the village. She had also been approached by a series of disgusting old men - and a couple of creepy younger ones.

Hinata and Shino quickly recovered from her affection but Kiba aggressively rolled her down the nearby hill. Mito finally wrapped the little brat up in her chains and dragged him back to her other two students while Akamaru barked, reprimanding them. "I'm so glad to see you guys! How is Torune-kun, Shino?"

"Torune will be out of action for at least six months." Mito gasped; his teammates already knew this - but Mito hadn't been told that his recovery would take nearly so long. "He is recovering at home but his hive was disturbed and depleted by what my father is hypothesizing to be nature chakra that was ingested in your last mission."

"I'm so sorry, Shino," Mito said, deeply saddened by this.

"There is no need for an apology," Shino said, standing up straighter before bowing. "Why? You saved my brother. My father was able to retrieve Torune quickly before his entire hive and life were lost because of your quick thinking."

Mito wasn't comfortable with that at all. "Please stand. I think I was the one targeted and um… I shouldn't have let Torune fight on his own."

"Torune thought his hive nearly invincible," Shino said quietly, wiping his lips. "My kikaichu and Torune's hive have certain commonalities. Father believes that I may be successful in giving him an infusion."

"No kidding? He's doing proper experiments first, though, right?"

"Of course."

"Good! That would be GREAT if Torune's allies were a little less volatile, 'ttebane. I hope you'll keep me informed." Shino agreed and Mito clapped her hands. "SO! What cool new stuff have you learned?!"

Mito listened carefully as her students reported the unique way that jerk, Kakashi, hid his scent and presence while he tracked. She was so glad to have them back, although Team 8 would be going on another mission without her tomorrow. Once again, Shino would be leading it. He was proving to be an outstanding young Chunin. Mito leaned back on her hands and sighed. "I could never do that. I don't have the chakra control necessary." But I might be able to create a seal that both filters yet somehow keeps a barrier of ambient chakra around, hiding me instead…

"But you're a med-nin," Kiba said, tilting his head just as Akamaru did. "Hana-nee says that you have to have chakra control mastery to be a med nin."

Mito nodded. "Or a veterinarian." She respected the hell out of vets. They had to learn SO MUCH: so many animals had unique physiologies and needs. For the first time in a while, Mito's thoughts turned to where in the world 'Ruto-chan was hiding. She and the parrot used to be almost inseparable and Mito had a feeling that 'Ruto-chan was aggravated with her for flashing around so often. Well, she KNEW he was…

"Flashing sucks!"
*SQUAWK* "Stop fucking flashing!"

What a weird thing for even an expletive-loving parrot to say.

"Sensei?" Hinata asked.

"Sorry. I was thinking about 'Ruto-chan." Kiba slapped himself in the face while Shino rubbed the bridge of his nose; Hinata giggled - making Mito do the same. "HA! Sorry, Kiba; I was listening but just got caught up in my thoughts. Anyway, yeah… My chakra control is pretty damn good but it's just that my chakra and seals" especially the big one in and on my gut "are weird."

Sitting in a room, being forbidden to train outside for years will ensure one begins to get their wonky chakra under control: fox in one's gut or not, though.

Mito smiled when Hinata shyly raised her hand. That girl was too adorable for her own good. "Go on, Hina."

"I was thinking about p-pincer moves."

"Oh?" Mito asked with a growing smile. Both boys had sat up straighter; Akamaru had even scooted closer to her, making Hinata gulp.

"W-we've l-learned many formations but rarely… rarely do we use s-something so SIMPLE," Hinata said as if she was finally getting something off her chest. "But effective! I-I have watched your s-summons, sensei, and th-they often use p-pincer moves t-to attack."

"Okay, then. How do you boys feel about practicing some pincer moves?"

"Yatta!"/"Very well, sensei."

Making her way, henged, through the village, Mito couldn't wait to LEAVE. How so many ignoramuses could be so interested in "the Hokage's daughter" having no sex life was beyond her. There were loads of (alright: some) ninjas her age that were virgins: Mito had heard them complaining or pompously bragging about it at the hospital.

And from what Mito had heard around over the past day or so, the non-news didn't even come directly from the brothel she had visited, either.

Yes, she'd been seen - henged - flashing to and away from that brothel, and YES: she knew that a few ninjas were in that area when she dropped off all of those (she'd like to think) much-needed, free prophylactics while digging for information but most of the talk came from or around her birthday party.

"Honest to God." Tonight she'd pop back to the hospital to help out just to keep herself busy but for now, she wanted to get out of Konoha. Mito was supposed to leave for Kiri tonight but Mei had sent a message asking for another half-day to prepare. She dropped her henge once she was at the North Gate.

"Mito-chan!" Kotetsu and Izumo smiled - and not weirdly, either, Mito noticed.

She signed out. "Yo. I've gotta check on that aquarium again but I'll be back by tomorrow morning at the latest."

"In and out, right?"

"Yes," Mito said, hoping that the fish weren't dead although she wouldn't mind being delayed there. That wasn't fair to Shizune who'd really been putting in the hours the past couple of days, though. "Ja!"

Minutes later, Mito had arrived inside the Uzumaki Temple and was staring at a bunch of healthy, happy fish. "Crap. Not that I'm unhappy to see you all doing so well. Ah, fuuuuck." She lay down on the floor and pouted at the Temple's ceiling, guessing that she could re-clean the rafters after saying a few prayers and such.

An hour later, she teleported outside of the genjutsu vortex, jogging along to a very welcome distraction. "Chiriku! What are you doing out here? …Hey, what's going on? You look really troubled, my friend."

.

Mito assured her father that everything was FINE as she prepared to flash off to Kiri from Uzushio the next morning. She had been earlier scolded for wearing the battle kimono outfit Orochimaru had "gifted" her (the one Asuma blew up) but the beautiful garments had been cleared by T&I, so what was their problem?

I want him to stop looking at me.

Glancing toward "it:" the visible one that hasn't faded, last I checked.

Or was the problem that her new clothing, hastily put on this morning, came from Orochimaru? Every piece had been analyzed, fiber by fiber, and Mito, a sensor and a seal's mistress, had also all but dissected them. They were rugged as hell, easy to clean, yet soft and silky-smooth to the touch! And gorgeous!

"You sure you'll be alright?" Minato asked for the umpteenth time. Mito rolled her eyes, trying not to think of where all of this concern and the odd looks might be coming from, in case her paranoia got the better of her. She was hungover as hell and... a mess if she were being honest about it.

How did that even happen?

"I'm fine, Tou-san. And I'll be fine! Mei-sama's waiting for me in Kiri and Utakata and a group of Mist shinobis I know well are waiting for me, alone on Plague Island… Or whatever it's called."

Minato tried to only look directly into her purplish-blue eyes, infuriated but trying to hide it - or to just look past her, otherwise. "Alright. Well, then! –Best of luck on your mission, Lady Ambassador."

"Thank you," Mito said genuinely, quickly grasping his hands. "I'll see you in a few days!" And then she flashed off - first to another tiny, uninhabited island in Water Country where she could try to get her nerves and anxiety under control.

.

Minato darkly stared in the direction his daughter had left for, trying to swallow down his anger and frustration.

WHY wouldn't she talk to him?! Finally, after being asked if he was all right a few times, he turned to his escorts. "Genma? Did you see what I did on Mito's..?" He gestured broadly toward his chest and neck, drumming his fingers over the area a couple of times.

Genma paled but said he wasn't sure. Minato didn't plan to drop it: he knew Genma was lying about that somewhat concealed hickey but couldn't say much more for now. The words wouldn't come out of his mouth! He breathed in the ocean air and wondered what Kushina would've done. She probably would've knocked me flying for bringing it up and then taken Mito out to celebrate.

Minato lowered his head in grief. Well, goddammit... Kushina wasn't here, was she?

"Let's go."

It wasn't until he was back in the Tower that he felt he could say more. Minato made sure, first, that he knew exactly who could potentially be listening. The faster he got answers, the better.

Kushina wouldn't like this.

Yes, but Kushina's not here.

"This is in Konoha's interests - and not just a nosy father's," Minato tried to "explain" lightly. "Let's find out who my daughter, our Kiri Ambassador, is sleeping with, hm?"