DISCLAIMER: I don't own anything from the Naruto universe. This is my Mito, though.
Thinking (+ flashbacks, "Mito speaking to Kurama in her mindscape," etc.)
Emphasis
Bijuu, etc. speaking
Bijuu, etc. thinking
No one ever said ANBU would be fun but at least it gave Mito time to think.
"It has bugged me ever since Jiraiya said it - and for more than just the whole thing about Naruto," Mito explained to Kurama. Jiraiya's words kept echoing in her head ever since she last saw him:
"You have been deemed to have a status and skills worthy or befitting of Konoha - in Konoha - whereas Naruto does not. Or he does not yet."
She'd said it before and she would say it again. It really was the stupidest fucking thing she'd ever heard!
"People are ignorant, Mito-chan. You're incredible with seals; you're a clan head, a Jonin, and a med-nin who fights like a teleporting, chain-wielding Tsunade. The village needs you."
"It's such crap!" And as complementary as she guessed that Jiraiya was being, the fact that she wasn't so good made her feel worse than taking his words as a soothing balm to her soul or something - not that Jiraiya would necessarily try to praise her falsely.
"My medical skills aren't even in the same WORLD as Tsunade's. I don't teleport nearly as fast as my father can; my chains suck compared to my mother's awesome ones - and I don't mean that only literally: I mean that they just aren't nearly as good! And I don't hit nearly as hard as Tsunade does, either."
"What?" Kurama asked in a bored voice after Mito finally shut her trap. "Do you expect me to disagree with you?"
"No, of course not! You're almost always brutally honest."
Kurama raised an eyebrow at her. Mito had somehow whined her way all the way past the invisible bars caging him in. It didn't even occur to him until now that he might be able to kill (or at least whack) her. Oh, great. Now I'm disappointed in myself.
Look what you've done to me, you idiot human.
Too depressed to go on a one-kunoichi killing spree thanks to her poor attitude, he told himself, Kurama lay his head down on the soft grass and closed his eyes. "Are you going to do something about all of this or just complain?"
"Probably just complain," Mito pouted. She was in a mood.
Kurama opened his eyes and then narrowed them when it started raining. "Get the fuck out of my space, Mitwo."
"Oh! Sorry!"
Kurama snorted when she ran off, too lazy to move out of the rain that soon stopped. –Especially when the area dried, the sun came out, and flowers started blooming under and around him. He glanced up and saw that she was looking at him with raised, hopeful, red eyebrows and forced himself to glare at her. She was clearly seeking his approval: that brat. As soon as she was gone with a squeak he let out a huff of laughter.
What a weird ningen.
.
Mito was on day six of updating, replacing, and adding new seals to every ANBU mask and uniform out there. Now when a Konoha ANBU put their mask on, they'd be covered with a henge of dark brown hair, the length depending on the user's own - and to some extent, the user's hair type or amount of wave in it, too. (She may have gotten a little overly creative with the endeavor.)
She hoped they would all work that way, anyway; that's how the completed masks had worked on the several people she had earlier tested, so hopefully, it would be the same for everyone else.
Bald guys would wind up with what looked like a very short haircut - either that or their noggins will turn the same (yikes: maybe shiny) brown color. Mito groaned; she needed to check with someone to test that, didn't she?
The red and blonde-haired Jonin stretched, popped her back and neck, and bobbed her head in acknowledgment of Nara Ensui who dropped by to check on her every now and then. "Can you tell me which masks belong to bald people?"
Ensui raised an eyebrow in question before laying his book over his face. "No," he said, enjoying ticking her off.
"Gr. Then don't come complaining to me," Mito said under her breath.
So far, Mito was on mask 127. She knew that Ensui wanted her to speed up but seal work had to be carefully balanced. She was trying, after all, to ensure that operatives (AND their masks) could survive a harder hit than the force at which the equipment would break previously, plus disguise the ops' appearances better.
How can I shove a rubber-like effect in here, I wonder?
Ensui had wanted all the masks' eyes to be blacked-out and although Mito could manage that, all of the operatives that had voiced their opinions on it were already extremely worried that simply disguising even their hair would make them nervous. They wouldn't know friend from foe as easily - should someone put on a mask that shouldn't have it. Take Kabuto as an example: he'd hijacked a mask once. At least once.
So, like it or not, Mito was leaving the eye areas of the masks alone. Ensui hadn't specifically ordered her to add that feature when she asked him about whether or not he abided by the "rules governing seal master creations and secrets." Ha: Mito wasn't sure that was an actual thing but Ensui didn't seem too sure either. Plus he already had all of these agents whining about how they looked with brown hair now.
It was no wonder the man hid in supply rooms or closets as often as he did. No matter how good the ninja, they (we) could sometimes be children.
"How's it going?" he asked lazily a few masks later.
"Fine, I guess. Do I really have to do 129 more? I mean, seriously," Mito groused, "I can do ONE backup for each mask: isn't that enough?"
"Ugh; troublesome. What if you end your service or die or something?"
"Rude," Mito whispered to herself. "I'm not so easily taken out!"
"I guess," Ensui sighed, sounding as if it was too troublesome or painful to simply say words - which it just might be to him, Mito thought.
"I've got ya scheduled to train in Training Ground 107 at 1400."
"Seriously?" Mito wanted to cheer! "No more crappy standing still work!"
"You are so troublesome," Ensui commented, rolling his eyes as he pushed his folding chair back to a reclining position so far that he just might tumble to the ground.
Mito clicked her tongue loudly. "If you fall and bash your head open, I will not heal you."
"Hmm," he grumbled. "It's a drag, but I ORDER you to heal me in advance."
"Tch," Mito muttered and hid a grin, trying to sound ticked off. She noted how Ensui only looked happier and more content now that he'd removed the book from his face. "Thanks for ending my misery at 1400, though."
"We'll talk about it more then, Fox."
"Yep," Mito agreed, continuing to ink a seal on a mask: this one was a lynx mask: cool! Kei would love for her to use that mask.
"No."
"Ehh? –Who asked you, Big Tails?" Mito grinned, glad to hear him speaking to her first again. Kurama didn't respond; he just continued sunning himself in the big clearing of flowers now in her mindscape. "Do you care that I love my fox mask so much?" Mito could've sworn that she saw him grin - just a bit. At least on one side.
"Hey, Mito," Ensui said, getting her full attention. "Is anyone around?"
"I can put up a security seal?"
"Do it." He smirked when he saw her put up a seal; she was extremely talented. "I've got a question for you."
Mito nodded, agreeing to help him.
"Use your words."
"Yes, Commander-sama," she agreed. "Please feel free to ask your question."
"Good. How do you feel about spying on the regular forces for me?"
Mito gaped at the man. "Oh, hell no!"
"Hell, yes," Ensui chuckled.
Mito continued her work, sighing when the man actually - for real! - fell asleep right after asking such a thing of her.
He can't be serious. No; Ensui couldn't be serious and that wasn't an order anyway. He'd only asked how she felt about doing it - and there was no way she was going to be a double agent within her own village.
She wasn't properly trained for even half of such a thing - something she'd learned from the whole Chiriku debacle
Although some still treated her like a foreigner (or princess: yech) Mito was only now beginning to feel like a somewhat trusted member of the Konoha community after having been away for so long
She had enough roles to play here
Right?
Mito began warming up and stretching in Training Ground 107, wondering if anyone else would show up to train with her or if she'd be forced to experiment with things again. Yugao bounced in dragging Tenzo a few minutes later, both in masks featuring brown hair - just like hers.
"I hate the brown hair," Yugao said.
"I like it," Tenzo said - because of course he did. He already had brown hair!
Mito continued stretching. "I always wanted hair that was either simply red - or blonde after my little brother was born - and I agree. I miss my weird hair, too. I look dull: like old dishwater or something!"
"Hey," Tenzo moaned, feeling offended.
"It makes me look all… subdued and boring," Yugao pouted.
"You're wearing a mask and armor," Tenzo reasoned to the silly kunoichis. Really, everyone with normally strange-colored hair was being ridiculous. "The new seals save chakra when we have to hide our appearances."
"We're wearing masks," Mito said, throwing what he was saying back at him. "Don't most people know you from your jutsus? Rather than your appearance?"
"Same with your chains, Foxy-chan," Yugao agreed, being cute.
"Exactly," Mito bobbed her head.
"I can use normal jutsus," Tenzo said. He did not appreciate the look Yugao gave him - which was clear even with the mask on. He knew all kinds of jutsus and only used Mokuton when he needed to. Or when it was fun or he wanted to show off. Or when he otherwise felt like it.
He rarely used it when he was bored. –Other than gardening and with his other wood-related hobbies.
"Is it just the three of us today?"
"Senpai is our fourth and a fifth should be here any time. Senpai will probably be here in a couple of hours," Tenzo said.
"If you're talking about Hound, he's hiding in the tree. And I have to be at the hospital tonight so I don't have all day to wait for him."
The jig up, Kakashi dropped down from the tree he'd been in - where he'd been watching Mito stretch and move into all kinds of crazy positions from behind his book. How was he supposed to not watch? "Yo! …You ruined my reading time, hime-sama."
"Dude. You have GOT to get another book. And you know not to call me that," Mito whined.
"I do not." He walked closer to her and kept his voice low to the fox-masked kunoichi. "And I will not, vixen-hime." He put his book away as Mito groaned. He could just imagine the cute face she was making under that fox mask. "Speaking of books, any news on a new Icha-Icha?"
Mito nodded and grinned up at him, also whispering. "Jiraiya IS going to publish that depressing travesty of a Yaoi sequel: it should be out next month. THE-EN," she drawled with a little more excitement, "he's got a BIG book he's writing right now."
Kakashi gasped and straightened up. "As in…" Dare he hope for it? "A fourth, general release novel?"
"Indeed."
Kakashi shivered hard all over: he couldn't wait. As good as Jiraiya-sama's short story series was - they were all published under the Icha-Icha banner - Paradise, Violence, and Innocence were the big three: the real deal. "Oh, no," he worried to himself, considering it further. "How long did it take for Violenceor Innocence to come out?"
"He's giving himself another couple of years to finish the new one and get it published." Kakashi fell back as if struck down in battle. "He said he's been working on it for a while, though."
"Monkey," Tenzo greeted their fifth before they could discuss it any further. Mito grinned over at the imposter, hopping toward him excitedly.
"That's not Monkey, that's Asuma." Asuma looked hilarious with a cigarette hanging through a little hole he'd made in his older brother's mask. –It was obviously not one Mito had worked on yet, and that hole would even more obviously tick Hideki off! "Whatcha doin' here, Asuma?"
"I fancied a spar - and Monkey fancied a nap." He nodded over at Kakashi who had arranged this. "Sooooo. The three of us against the two of you?"
"Awww. But I wanted to kick Hound's ass," Mito joked.
"Really?" Kakashi asked. "Because I'd like to see you try it."
"Oi. That's enough flirting you two," Yugao said, trying not to laugh. She could swear she saw steam coming from behind Mito's fox mask. Her former captain didn't react at all, which was also just like him.
Yugao told Kakashi-taicho that she saw Mito kissing Genma but that Mito had pushed him off their balcony afterward. She was glad that Kakashi was moving more aggressively now - although Genma was a nice guy and everything. Yugao hadn't been sure about talking to Kakashi about the whole thing, fearing that her former captain would just give up. Professionally, Kakashi-taicho was a tenacious, never-ending beast of a bloodhound but outside of ninja duties, he was lazy as hell.
But then, two days later, Kakashi was trying to bully the commander with his lazy, near-constant, annoying presence to arrange this spar so assumedly he could team up with Mito. "Let's strategize you guys."
Kakashi tapped Mito's bare upper arm - the one with what he'd learned had her "cat tracks" - and gestured for her to follow him. "What do you want to do?"
"Blow something up," Mito said because that was always fun.
Kakashi hummed and glanced at their opponents behind her. He took her arm and led Mito to where they'd be more hidden. "Uzuki has been complaining about her purple hair being brown excessively."
Mito snorted. "I have this purple paint-like stuff kids play with. That'll fix it!"
"Good," Kakashi said, wanting to assure he stayed clear of the trap seal Mito began to make. He kneeled beside her. "Tenzo will either come at us directly with a Mokuton or water attack, covering for Uzuki. He'll be backing her up. What about Sarutobi? I'm assuming he fights like Monkey?"
He knew but just wanted to hear what Mito thought about it. Admittedly, she had a lot more experience with Asuma than he did, anyway.
Mito shrugged; she hadn't sparred with Hideki in years. "Asuma will most likely use that nasty ash jutsu to cover for Yugao since she's a sensor and can move through it, directly at us. His fire and wind attacks are no joke and we've been working on getting better with earth techniques - although he doesn't like being underground nearly as much as I do."
"You're a mole person," Kakashi teased.
"You're a mole person," Mito rebutted, (as mature as always,) pouting and refusing to laugh when Kakashi whined about how hard she'd poked his chest armor. He'd been chuckling at and making fun of her, so there. "Anyway, Asuma uses trench knives to enhance his wind blades and other attacks. His pathetic attempts at water jutsus totally suck and his lightning jutsus are kinda pathetic; nothing like yours - but he's good at absolutely everything else." She tapped her mask, thinking about it as Kakashi seemed to be considering what she'd said.
"Genjutsu, too?" Mito nodded. "The Sharingan can get us out of them."
"The fox gets me out of genjutsus, too." Kakashi's one eye blinked back at her in surprise: she could tell that he still had his modified hitai-ate down over the other one for now. The way he'd tilted his head, though, was adorable. It made him look like a real hound! "And uhh… My fuzzy partner REALLY hates Mokuton. I want to avoid it as much as possible."
She could hear Kurama growling in her head every time "Mokuton" was mentioned.
Kakashi hummed when Mito didn't say more. "I'd suggest we have your clone lay down the paint seal and go straight at them with a combined technique to put them on the defensive. Your water and my lightning?"
Mito transferred her weight to her other leg. "You don't think they'll be expecting it?"
"Maa, I don't think they'll know what hit 'em."
Now Mito was really excited! "I could have a hidden clone add wind? We could put three dragons together? Water, Wind, and Lightning?!"
"Now you're talking," Kakashi nodded. "I can trap them in a modified mud wall so they're screwed…"
A half later -
"You fuckingi diots," Asuma hissed. It had been over five minutes and he was still twitching and cramping or worse. Mito's answer to the smoke that had been rising from his and Tenzo's bodies was to douse them with a water trumpet jutsu and as always, he thought she was trying to drown him. "You could've killed us!"
"I wouldn't have done that," Mito gently assured him as she healed Tenzo - who was still letting out little whimpers.
"Together, you two are like a violent storm," Tenzo said shakily. He and Yugao were still splattered with purple goo that had exploded out of a seal after the spar was supposed to be over! Asuma saw it coming and got the hell out of there, tunneling underground, before the seal could go off.
The seal still blew him out of the ground but Asuma was somehow prepared for that.
"Thank you, Tenzo." Mito thought being called part of a storm was pretty neat.
"I wasn't complimenting you!"
"Maa, I take it as a compliment," Kakashi grinned.
"You would take it as a compliment," Tenzo hissed. Kakashi-senpai took everything as a compliment!
"You'll have to carry me home," Yugao groaned when it was time for Mito to heal her.
"I thought you'd use your chains," Asuma admitted. He winced when Tenzo shot him a look of betrayal: they had based their whole beginning strategy on avoiding Mito's chains and earth-shattering kicks. Using her chains would be an obvious move but considering Mito would know that HE knew that, he figured that she would do it to un-surprise him with her… unpredictability. Horrible Mito snickered at him. "You're SUCH a brat."
"Thank you, As!"
"Nice job, you two," Ensui said as he strolled up. He'd been watching from a tree a safe distance away with a scope. "You three sucked," he said, smirking at the three ninjas still on the ground. "Twenty laps around Konoha." Yugao and Tenzo groaned but Asuma whipped his mask off and struggled to his feet.
"I'm not in your chain of command, ya old turd!"
Mito threw back her head and laughed, wiping a tear from her eye as Asuma limped off. Asuma was really ticked!
Ensui was offended. "I'm not old!"
Kakashi shrugged - Ensui was old, not that he would say that - and bent down to whisper in Mito's ear. "He didn't say anything about being a turd."
"I heard that. Thirty laps; both of you!" Ensui He lazily pointed at Mito. "You for laughing."
Kakashi and MIto took off running, their snickering turning into a race that two green blurs joined (the bigger green one winning) shortly after.
In the jungle, a week later -
Mito decided that she must've died and gone to heaven because sitting on the ground in front of her was the most adorable-looking, tiny kitty cat she'd ever seen. "It's such a pleasure to meet you, Rusty-Spotted Cat-sama." The other tribe heads then began snickering at her, Tora and Kei even dramatically falling to the ground, laughing and being generally obnoxious. "I'm trying to make a good impression here," she hissed at her mean allies.
"I have a name, Toots," the tiny wild cat said in a comically deep, gravelly voice. "It's Tenga."
"Tenga-sama, then." Despite the cat's attitude, voice, and what he'd called her, Mito still wanted to pick him up and smooch his wee-widdle face!
"Enjoy it while it lasts, Tenga," Buddy said knowingly. He yawned and rolled over in the sunlight in a relatively small jungle clearing they were all in. "Mito's not formal."
"So I've heard." Tenga approved. "You got work for me or what?"
"If you wouldn't mind," Mito replied. "Perhaps first you can tell me of your abilities?"
"He's not exactly a warrior," Tora grinned. What Tenga was, though, was small and scarily good at hiding. He hadn't seen the guy in years.
More importantly for the tiger, Mito was using her massaging brush on him and the others were waiting for their turns but he didn't plan on giving it up anytime soon. He rolled over on his back so she could better brush his chest and under his chin. Plus it was so nice and sunny today!
That damn Tenga sat on him. He was so small, Tora had hardly noticed until Mito started brushing Tenga instead. "Get offa me."
"We're talkin' here," Tenga drawled angrily before going back to telling the summoner all the cool stuff he could do. "...And I can henge into a housecat. I got some other… big guys you can hire… for the right price."
Mito was oddly charmed. Tenga talked like a gangster in an old movie. "What is the right price?"
"Excellent question! For me, that's easy, Toots: I need some of them Akimichi chips. A regular supply."
Mito hummed and tapped her lips. Those chips were expensive for those not in the clan and her allies were total pigs. "I'll see what I can do. Do you have a flavor preference?"
Tenga began drooling just thinking about them - which got him batted off of Tora. He hadn't had Akimichi chips in almost a century! "Barbecue. –But if you could get some other samples, I'll treat you like the queen you are!"
His toothy smile did not make him cuter, Mito decided.
"I'll see what I can do."
Days passed much the same way. Mito was trying to work on some seals to trade for Akimichi chips so that Tenga and his cat crew (or whatever they were) would infiltrate the village and the Gato Corp: such as it was. Tora and even Hinote (the loud lion) swore that she could trust him; that Tenga had been very reliable in the past and was always upfront with what he truly wanted.
When Mito wasn't doing that in her off-time, she trained her little team of hellions, spent time with her friends, worked at the hospital, and worked part-time for Ensui.
Genma had openly lamented what she was doing in ANBU to Yugao, and that's how Mito learned that her father knew about her work there. Fortunately, the Hokage thought that she was "only" doing seal work in ANBU, which was fine.
Because of how they were training (and how effective they seemed like they could be together,) Mito guessed that she was being slotted to partner with Kakashi - which was great because that guy was not only strong but would probably need medical assistance every frickin' mission.
"You SERIOUSLY need to get a new eyeball!"
Kakashi groaned, having gotten himself into another shitty situation as he was coming back from a solo mission. "Maa, I need it for the Chidori."
"You said it was an unfinished jutsu." Mito was doing everything she could not to blush at the way Kakashi kept absently running his finger over her hands as she worked on him. Patients were always doing stuff like that - and the stuff they'd say when concussed, chakra-exhausted, or under sedation was hilarious (and often flirtatious.)
"It is. –Without the Sharingan to predict movements, one gets tunnel vision."
Mito hummed as she painted seals on his bare chest and abs. Seriously, Kakashi had been beefing up! She wanted to ask him about it but was afraid he would think she was a pervert or something. –She kinda was one because this idiot looked hot. "Why don't you just finish the jutsu?"
"'Why don't you just finish the jutsu?'" Kakashi parroted in a stupid, high-pitched voice and got painfully poked for it. "I'm hurt!"
"I'll hurt you, alright," Mito muttered. She did NOT sound like that whiny voice he'd made. If anything, her voice was a little "huskier" than most women. "You're so mean."
Kakashi crookedly grinned at her. "You like it."
"Sh- shut up."
He laughed at her and got poked again. "Owwww.
It was when Mito was coming home from the Uzumaki Shrine a week later that things got interesting. When she'd checked out at Konoha's North Gate, Mito had been pissed that she'd been given an hour's window.
To get there, pray, and come back? What the hell!? -What if something was wrong with the vortex genjutsu or the koi pond thing or the fish tank?
And oh sure: with the Hiraishin it was plenty of time to fix whatever… but that didn't make Mito any happier about it.
She knew this was her father's doing - and that just gave her more reasons to go there.
Mito spent most of the allotted hour complaining to her ancestors about Minato. Not only was Mito mad at him for having followed (and now limiting!) her but… She missed him. Mito loved her family even if her father was an overprotective dork.
"I'm probably worse," she pouted to the angelfish. He, too, was a good listener. "I'd explain more but I guess I gotta go." She turned to leave but turned to a mask that seemed to be staring at her again. "I know I should talk to him but what's to stop him from coming to me?!" She stomped out of the shrine feeling miserable and then stopped in her tracks.
Someone had gotten caught in the genjutsu surrounding the shrine.
Mito climbed into a tree to have a look; an evil smirk crawling across her features.
There, all by his lonesome was some big guy in an Akatsuki cloak. "Oh, look at you," she whispered into the wind. "Come to Mama."