A/N: Yes, Halloween did influence how I wrote the end of the chapter! Hope y'all had a good one.

Mito figured that she simply wasn't used to this kind of thing.

Jack was a somewhat disgusting and (a completely) misogynistic bastard - which was probably one reason why there were only 18 kunoichis on board, including her. Most of them worked in the ship's medical bay, and they'd quickly greeted her. She'd worked with most of them during the war. Salty-tongued and loud, the med-nins asked her a few of her opinions on things, showed her how they ran their well-stocked clinic, and were nicer to be around than she'd initially thought. Great story and joke tellers. Two of the oldest had exchanged quiet words with her about watching out for Jack - but in a somewhat joking manner - or about how all of the other kunoichis were regulated to the galley.

One had also complained to her that Jack had a major issue with the idea of a woman being a kage. He was supposedly very open (and hostile) about Mei, believing her to be - like all kunoichis, she said- incompetent and overly emotional. It was more surprising to Mito that Jack copped to it with Mei's fellow kunoichis. Oh, and he thought they were all manipulative with their sexuality and "feminine wiles." –He said that out loud just yesterday!

So infuriating. Not to mention that Mito was probably the only kunoichi NOT to use her "feminine wiles" but that was only because she didn't have them. Men used their sexuality and charms when they wanted to. Mito just didn't get it.

The rest of his crew seemed "decent" enough. Some total weirdos, a few leering assholes, but most were hardworking, diligent sailors, mostly dressed as pirates. The majority didn't pay more attention to her other than perhaps stare - but when she'd catch their eye, they'd quickly look away.

Fair enough. Most of these sailors had been working together for years or decades and she is a kage's daughter of a recently allied village. She'd noticed some of the more striking (and then bloodthirsty) men hanging around Kiri at the war's end when everyone had gathered together for a last siege on Yagura. She guessed a majority of the rest of those on board were there, too, but hadn't attracted her attention.

Sighing and stiff, Mito tried to get her shit together. Ever since she was young, when put in a new place, she'd turn into a shell of herself. And now she had to act like the Mito these sailors might have seen or heard of in the war. Bold, bossy, and not giving a shit, according to Zabuza. Acting how she felt in front of the men now: cold, alone, (observant, she'd like to think,) and quiet, wasn't what they'd expect and it was not yet time to begin laying doubts about who she was.

If going by what Zabuza cooked up, she needed to know how long she had to act like "herself," so that once it was believed she was a spy, she'd know to move forward.

Either Kiri's spy would approach her and she'd deliver their info to… Jack. Mito groaned just thinking about it. OR, once they'd left International Waters, the spy (or even Jack) might attack her and she'd get hit, instantly henge as the Kumo kunoichi spy who had been caught. –That was Zabuza's approach. A third option was for the ship to temporarily dock in Wind as scheduled, and then she'd stowaway on one of Gato's old ships headed toward the barrier. There were a lot of things that could happen but as a kunoichi, she had to remain flexible.

She already missed her friends, family, and her little cubs. She missed her summons. And especially… Kakashi. I need to stop thinking about him. It was easier to dwell on being angry and frustrated with the captain of the ship she was on.

Kakashi cocked an eyebrow at her, looking smug. "You love being irritated and I love being irritating. –I don't see a problem."

She was not enjoying being irritated right now, that's for sure.

Back at the Fire Temple, Mito felt as though she'd become intimately familiar with many shades and types of sexism. People like Chukaku, may Kami rest his soul, believed that women were fragile and precious, too delicate for fighting alongside their male counterparts. Kazuma (and others along the way) found her a threat to his power, although he was never overt about it until he kidnapped her. Even Chiriku, in the very early days, seemed to believe that (aside from her foul mouth) being female somehow made her naturally (as in from birth) morally superior to him. It wasn't until she called him out on that bullshit that he'd ever thought of it being a sexist belief. Truthfully, the whole idea of it was so ludicrous that it took a while for Mito to realize that he was being sexist simply by not viewing her as his equal.

Humans. Equal bad, equal good.

Jack was a dickhead. He was also passive-aggressive and even though Mito had caught it immediately, he still had done a number to her self-esteem. Every morning, she was getting up, psyching herself up for more bullshit, and wondering how the other women on board could take it.

Jack seemed to be all kinds of misogyny rolled into one, somehow. The "precious" thing had come up in the galley one night when he'd spoken of respecting the "fairer sex" (which was followed by raucous laughter - including his. Mito wondered how long she could resist punching his face off.) He'd then gone off on a romantic soliloquy about women and love that would've been beautiful had it not been delivered by a scumbag.

"What a drag."

Earlier, when this shit began -

Zabuza came flying into his boss' office with the deadly intent and restrained violence (but without any of the subtleties) of a ninja of his caliber. He'd taken down the ANBUs on his way in and found it unsatisfying. "We've got a problem."

Mei squinted at him, one eyebrow twitching dangerously as he dropped two ANBUs who evidently needed more training. "What is it now?" Zabuza, however, had already thrust his phone at her. "What? …Who is 'Manly?'"

Zabuza flushed; he'd forgotten that's what he set Mito's screenname as. To him, she was 'Foxy' but Zabuza didn't trust that it would be misconstrued by someone who might see his phone. "The Konoha ambassador," he said with a roll of his eyes. "Considering she was texting me while the Akkorokamui was still in dock, I don't feel good about these questions." He had forgotten to check his phone (he rarely used it for anything other than playing games or music) and these texts came throughout a three-and-a-half-hour period:

WTFs up with This Guy? Constant manipulative illusions? Sliminess that could only get an eel wet? Xon1! -1, -1

If This Guy is mute, can YOU gimme what I need? –Inquiring minds want to know!

At least the bathrooms are clean. But is He? Do you feel me? Stop playing with your sword and answer your goddamn phone

Do ambassadors have Diplomatic Immunity or is that some kind of movie thing? I never heard about it but when

Mei frowned. Perhaps some of the gibberish at the end of the first message was Konoha code but it's not like she could ask any other Konoha ninjas for assistance - yet. "Where's my phone?" She, Zabuza, and her guards searched the office but then Mei gritted her teeth, remembering that she'd left it at home after taking pictures of her new kittens. Of all the dumb things to do. "Hot Stuff" and "Tinkiwinki" were the cutest, though. They helped stave off the loneliness of her position.

She left to grab her phone, frowning when she realized that Mito hadn't texted her. Mei wasn't hurt; she was worried, guessing that Mito didn't want HER to worry.

The Akkorokamui had already left and she knew that further communication with Mito would be sporadic at best. It was clear that Mito was asking Zabuza about Jack but Mei couldn't imagine the infamous captain having anything to do with Kumo. She quickly moved back into her office, not addressing the phone issue. "It would've been insane not to provide her backup, especially with recent events. –And with the trip alterations she agreed to make on her end." Meaning that Mito chose to try to help find their mole the way she did before getting away to go… do whatever it was she was doing.

Unsurprised but glad that Mei had someone else loyal to her planted on board the Akkorokamui, Zabuza frowned. Jack was known to be temperamental and mean. He was a strong ninja and sailor, however: a genjutsu and weapons master, and his men adored him. Mito was pretty fucking prickly but her complaining/questioning him like this didn't seem in character. Hmm. "Who'd you put on board?"

"Suzuna."

Zabuza wasn't sure if he was impressed or thought it was a horrible idea. Suzuna was his brat student, Chojuro's, father. He was also about as by-the-books as any high-level ninja or sailor Kiri had in her ranks, aside from maybe Ao. "Jack ain't gonna like that."

"Probably not," Mei agreed with a sigh. She had so much to do and the fact that her navy was operating at all meant that her attention had been focused elsewhere. Sending her ANBU out, she waited several long moments before her eyes looked up (and down) at the shinobi before her. She figured they were thinking along the same lines but couldn't be sure. "Zabuza… Feel like relieving a little stress?"

"I live to serve, Mizukage-sama."

"Ha!"

Several nights later, Mito watched Jack saunter away again, glaring at him.

Earlier, the fucker had the nerve to slap her on the ass. She only punted him across one room; Mito was pretending to be someone else, after all.

Inhaling deeply, she felt her shoulders begin to unknot. The sea air was good for her and thankfully, the Akkorokamui was quite clean. Her senses told her that the ship, at least partially, ran on seals and she'd heard Jiraiya talk about harnessing nature's energy in them. She couldn't help but wonder how that worked and if the ship was operating on such a system. Sadly, neither Jiraiya nor her father had figured it out - or had spent their time interested in such an endeavor. Mito knew how to harness solar energy within a seal but something like that wouldn't power a ship of this size 24/7. The boat she planned to eventually sit in for a bit to regain chakra had hydropower and solar seals on it, and she supposed that could be what the Akkorokamui was using. She was dying to look at whatever was in the engine room and figured that if that was a new goal, she needed to play extra nice with the sailors on board.

Taking out her phone and seeing that she had no new messages, she sulked. Mito often forgot to use the thing and most of the important data that had been on it previously had been deleted in case she was captured. Haku, happily known on her phone as "IcyHot" (he requested that cute moniker, not liking "Ice-sama" as much) had helped her download some games for it. They were Zabuza's (aka the Compensator) but he had no idea of how to download things, either.

Aside from Lightning Country and maybe Ame, the Elemental Nations were so behind the times.

"Mito-hime," a good-looking, middle-aged guy with light blue hair, addressed her as he waltzed up. She'd noticed him earlier from just before they set sail. Jack had been yelling at him. Also interestingly, this man was wearing a Kiri Jonin uniform. Most pirates onboard did not. He leaned over the railing next to her, a couple of meters away, and pulled out a cigarette before offering her one.

"No thanks. And just 'Mito' is fine." That was true, plus Mito was pretending to "act like a spy impersonating you," and everyone knew how much she hated being called 'princess.' She also noticed that the new guy was wearing a pin of some sort on his uniform, one that she hadn't seen before.

The guy stared out at the water and Mito tried to look like she relaxed at that, although she was wondering how best to defend herself from him without using her chains, etc., should he attack. He didn't speak for a long time - until his cigarette was butt a memory that he'd tossed into the sea. –Something that she didn't like.

"Suzuna-teitoku, at your service."

Mito's red eyebrows shot up. "Nice to have an admiral at my service," she joked. Even if your name could be translated to Admiral Turnip. "I don't think we've previously met."

"No, we haven't," the admiral said. "Not properly, anyway. …I want to thank you for saving some of my men in the war. My son, Chojuro, also speaks highly of you."

"Ah!" Mito smiled, knowing that she shouldn't feel eased by that, but "Chojuro is such a sweetheart." The man scoffed, making her bristle. She forced herself to play nice and not ask questions, however. "And boy, can he handle a sword." That comment brought a shy smile from the boy's father. He was quite handsome like that. Chojuro had the admiral's coloring but not his strong jaw and defined cheekbones. Plus, Chojuro had gotten his teeth filed (something Mito scolded him for - and then dragged him to a dentist she recently met to seal.) It made the teen far less cute in her unnecessary opinion. Fortunately, the admiral had not done something so idiotic. "He's also something else with technology."

"Bah," the admiral scoffed again, looking frustrated although she thought she detected the hint of a smile. "I don't see a need for that stuff - or I wish I didn't."

Mito snorted. "Me, too, but other nations are ahead of us in that regard, ne?" She liked tech: computers and stuff even if the things sometimes made her feel like a moron when she tried to understand them. "Can't let them stay ahead of us."

"I guess," he said, glum. "I threw my latest cell into the sea." Mito let out a breathy laugh. He pulled out another cigarette, waiting for her to scold him or pull out one of what he'd heard were her god-awful, full-color brochures against the dangers of smoking, unprotected sex, or any of a variety of other vices that he'd heard about. Supposedly, Namikaze Mito carried them in an "invisible seal" on her right forearm and could summon the damn things at will. "Good," he breathed as he used a sealless spark jutsu to light up. "You're already giving me reason to doubt that you're you."

Mito did a double-take. "How?" she asked in a low voice. "And what do you know?" As she told Zabuza: 'inquiring minds want to know' exactly what did you work out with Jack, Mei?! I'm flying blind here!

"I know that you're quite vocal about not being a fan of unprotected sex or smoking, but that you drink and gamble enough." How was that fair?

Mito huffed. Yes, that was true - although she'd been having a lot of unprotected sex with Kakashi before she left Konoha. Talk about a gamble. She'd need to change that when she got back, if he was still interested. She hoped he would be; he seemed like he would be. He seemed very interested, in fact. Almost too interested; so why does that feel so good?

Kakashi was great in bed. And he's so cuddly afterward, which was unexpected but nice. Considering how independent she was, Mito liking all that intimate skinship (and just his presence) was also surprising. That intense, almost desperate look he gets in his mismatched eyes; the Sharingan spinning… The admiral next to her said something mundane about the weather and Mito blushed all over herself for thinking about how… well and completely Kakashi filled her up. How the silver-haired devil would go down on her day and night if she'd let him - how good he looked when he came.

God, she was such a perv, standing on board where enemies were sure to lurk, in the dark, thinking about having sex with a man that two or three years ago, she would've never considered being with. Again. "Sorry, I missed what you said." Way to go, dumbass.

"Reign it in. I'd give it a couple of weeks, maybe, before we leave continental waters, depending on how long we're delayed in Wind. –This ship is ALWAYS delayed in Wind."

Mito cocked her head. "Huh. Why is that?"

One of Suzuna's light blue eyebrows ticked up. "That's what I'm going to find out. –Anyway," he continued as he patted his pockets, not finding whatever it was he was looking for, "I wouldn't worry about Jack."

"Alright," Mito said coolly after a beat. She was very worried about Captain Jack. The guy was an old-school weirdo. Every time she'd seen a kunoichi go into his office, Mito felt her anxiety climb through the roof. Although from the way he looks at his men, I'd say he swings both ways. Kami! Some people weren't as resistant to genjutsus as she was. What if he was taking advantage of them with his illusions or worse? He had seals in his cabin that she couldn't sense through and it was driving her crazy. Although, in my current position, what can I do if he is up to no good?

Ah, who was she kidding? If she caught the fucker forcing something nonconsensual, she'd have his balls. But I have my mission. Dammit to hell.

- Nope, she would definitely maim him. Mito knew herself too well.

Please let me be wrong about him, she half-prayed. To think that Jack was the inspiration for the Sea of Love series and its spin-offs? Mito knew she'd never read them again! "Think you can give me a tour of the engine room?"

Suzuna shrugged but spoke in a low, warning voice. "As long as you don't get too technical in any questions you may have."

"Sure," Mito smirked. "I'll probably just act like a know-it-all." Suzuna only hummed as he led her to the lower decks.

An hour later -

Mito managed to complete her fairly extensive tour of the lower decks and get back to her cabin quietly. She locked herself in, before grabbing an empty storage seal, bending over, and puking her guts out into it. "F-...Fuck!"

Suzuna didn't know. It was obvious he didn't realize…

The hydropower and other seals were all of Uzumaki design. Kiri had… Of course, they did. They attacked Uzushio and either managed to get into unsecured seals or they grabbed her people… My people… They had used them; they had probably…

Kiri had NEVER had good relations with Uzushio. There was some reason that…. Who KNEW when they'd stolen Uzumaki intel and… Mito had been able to FEEL her blood and hidden chakra react to the seals in the engine room. There were so many of them; the ship could even submerge safely… "Fuck!"

But she had a mission, and what could she do?

"Mom," she whispered, already kneeling and bent over with one arm bracing her on the floor. "Please tell me what to do." But she already knew, didn't she? Mito couldn't do a goddamn thing about it. Praying wasn't something she did often but Mito felt so sick, she didn't even consider not doing it. "Please forgive me, my ancestors. Please look after and guide me."

Well, hell. She was on the sea, wasn't she? If her ancestors were pissed off enough that she was here, working with Kiri, surely they could pull her down and drown her. She shot up when a siren went off.

Outside her room, her mouth fell open and Mito let out huffs of disbelieving laughter, knowing that she soon needed to go back in and brush her teeth. That was in the very back of her mind, though, because the huge, modern ship she was on had - through a genjutsu - been turned into something akin to the legendary (haunted) Flying Dutchman. On board, green fog surrounded them, ragged sails blew in the wind from ancient masts, most of which certainly hadn't been there before.

"What the literal fuck?" Kurama asked, roused from his sleep when he felt the foreign chakra (not to mention the annoying siren going off.)

"Don't you dare break this genjutsu," Mito begged, snorting. She looked down and almost gagged. It looked like the skin on her arms was hanging from bones. "Gr-ross!" Her clothes were her own but all torn up.

"Arrrr, Mito-chan," another kunoichi grinned (she looked as if she only had one tooth! She knew this gal's chakra; she was a beautiful younger girl.) "Might wanna henge, dearie."

"What is happening?!" Every sixth sailor around the perimeter - no, they look like zombie pirates right now - was holding out a Hidden in the Mist jutsu, from what it looked like. Mito couldn't see ANYTHING through the haze although she could feel what she guessed was a ship in the far, far distance, just approaching her senses.

"Arrr." The Konoha kunoichi (the ambassador: oh my gods, the Kiri teen thought,) snorted and hid a giggle. "Ha! It's an Iwa ship. Or one carrying their flag. We rarely see those soooo," she drawled in a sing-song way, "we're gonna scare the shit out of 'em! And rob 'em blind, of course."

Mito's mouth fell open. "No kidding?! I'm in, as long as they won't know me, ya know." Suzuna's chakra came speeding toward her but Mito might have shrieked when she actually saw him. No, I didn't (yes, I did). He looked like a put-out skeleton wearing the remnants of a Kiri uniform. How a blue-haired skull was so expressive was beyond her.

"This is a drill. I need you to stay in your quarters, please."

"Aww." Mito hummed, her mind quickly turning over ideas when she saw that he wasn't going to be dissuaded. Doesn't sound like a "drill" to me! "Okay."

Nope!

To hell with that! She went back into her quarters as ordered to brush her teeth and decided to leave, asap, to go check out those seals while everyone else was busy.