Chapter 13:

New Year's Eve was spent with the Grey family in their lovely home. Grace and Carrick hosted a small affair of their families and a few close personal friends. It was a semi-formal event with ladies dressed in cocktail dresses and the gentlemen in business suits, except for Elliot who wore a dark blue sweater and jeans. Ana had to laugh, only Elliot Grey would show up so casual at a semi-formal event and make it work. She had to admit that the big lug was one of her favorite people. He could make her laugh and he was a wonderful uncle to Trista. She watched him now as he met and greeted people with Trista in his arms. Most people thought that the little girl was his child and had no idea that Christian Grey was her sire. And Elliot, he let them think what they wanted. Trista was his girl, and he made no bones about it.

Grace stood next to Ana and watched as Elliot easily lugged his niece about the room. Their laughter was like heaven's music and charmed everyone.

"When he finally finds the right woman and settles down, he will make a wonderful parent." Grace declared. "He is so great with children."

"Because he is a big one." Ana offered jokingly.

"Too bad you two didn't hit it off."

"Grace!" Ana exclaimed a bit shocked. "Elliot is like a big brother. I could never… well you know."

"I know, hon." Grace gave a gentle smile. "He needs a good woman that will settle his restless heart." Grace then took Ana's hand. "And you my dear sweet girl. Where will your heart lead you?"

"My heart is full for Trista."

"And Christian? Does your heart have room for the father of your child?" Grace looked about the room and lowered her voice. "Surely you know that he loves you and Trista. His eyes never leave you or the child. Even now, his eyes search you out." She nodded toward her second son who was talking with Carrick. He was dressed in one of his Tom Ford's suits that fit him like a glove. He held a tumbler of bourbon in his fine hands absently swirling the liquor, but his eyes were shifting from Ana to Trista. "Even now, he can't stop admiring you."

"Christian is Trista's father, but there is nothing between us. He and I can never be together." Ana pulled her hand from Grace. "I can't… I won't…" She let the words slide away. The lifestyle that Christian participated in was something that she had no interest in. "He was with my sister."

"He no longer is in that lifestyle if that is your worry." Grace announced. "He so wants to be more in both of your lives but doesn't know how. I'm sorry to say that I failed him as a mother. I never could teach him to receive love unconditionally, to accept it. His fear of pain and neglect are so deeply ingrained in him that he can't see how much he is loved by his father and I. We try to show him, to tell him, but … but… we can only keep trying."

Trista's squeal of laughter broke through the seriousness of Grace and Ana's talk. Elliot was tickling the little girl making all the guests smile. Ana had to smile to hear her daughter's laughter. She looked up to find intense grey eyes watching her. Christian was smiling also, and it was a sight to see! His beautiful lips were drawn up enough to show white straight teeth and he looked so much younger. Ana felt like she was seeing him for the very first time with all his charm being radiated out from his heart and soul. She caught her own breath when a lightening bolt of intense emotion hit her. Christian Grey was more than handsome, he was heavenly handsome! Surely made from the beautiful molds of angels! His cooper curls shone in the light. His aura surrounded him with a warm glow and all that energy seemed to be streaming straight into her heart and soul. It was as if she could feel his heart beating within her own body. She saw a softness in his eyes. Love! She saw it! He was in love with her! She couldn't stop staring at him. She saw only him. She heard only hear his heart beating! She could feel him from across the room. Everything was Christian Grey!

"Ana, are you alright?" Grace's voice asked in her worried motherly way. "Ana?"

"I'm fine, Grace." She whispered. "I need a little air. Will you excuse me?"

"Of course, dear."

Ana took in a deep breath of cool air as she stood alone on the veranda. "No, it can't be." She said to herself. "This can't be happening! Not him!" She always heard stories about people being hit with a thunderbolt of love, but she never put a great deal of store in those tales. Her heart was still racing wildly. Her thoughts were all over the place.

Christian! Trista! Aurora!

She couldn't!

It would be wrong!

He was involved with her sister, and they had a child together. However, the idea of not being with Christian pained her very soul! Her hand went to heart as if to protect it. They couldn't be together. It just seemed so wrong on so many levels. He had sex with her sister, he dominated her with whips, chains, and other implements of the lifestyle. They had done things together that she, Ana, felt she could never do nor never wanted to do. She never completely understood her sister's need to be dominated in the bedroom. She only knew that she would never let any man, not even the great Christian Grey treat her as a submissive in any way, shape, or form!

"Ana. Are you alright?"

Christian Grey!

Ana took a deep breath and turned to the man who had her in a tizzy. "I'm fine. I just needed a little air."

"You look a little pale." He reached out and felt her forehead for a fever. "I hope you're not coming down with something."

"Like I said, I just needed a little air. You know with all the perfume and all." She gave a small smile. Even though this was a small gathering compared to the usual Grey celebrations, there were still close to fifty people meandering around the manor. "I better return and make sure that Elliot hasn't totally corrupted Trista."

Before she walked away, Christian took her hand and drew her close. "Ana, you must know that I have developed… I mean that I feel…" He couldn't find the words to express himself. "You and Trista mean the world to me. I want to be more in your lives if you will let me."

His touch burned into her soul. She felt too warm and almost dizzy. "I would never keep you from being with Trista. She is your daughter." His arm went around her waist to hold her. "Christian?"

"I want more with you also, Ana. Do you understand?"

They stood looking at each other deeply. Ana's eyes dropped to his full mouth. Those lips seemed to be reaching out to her to lean forward and kiss him. She felt herself moving closer, but then stopped suddenly. She shook her head and backed away. "Trista." She left his arms and walked by him and back into the house to find her child. When the door closed behind her she took a deep breath, looked about the room to find her daughter now in the arms of her Pop-Pop Carrick laughing as they energetically spoke together. Trista was more than happy in the arms of her grandfather, and it showed. She had Carrick Grey wrapped around her little finger. Ana doubted that there was a soul in this world who wouldn't be affected by the charms of her little princess. Trista had a magic in her that made people love her instantly.

"She's in good hands." A voice said over her shoulder. She stiffened. Christian had followed her into the house and stood behind her. "It's almost a new year, Ana. Let's make it a new year for us also. Give me a chance. Take a chance."

She turned to him. "I can't Christian. I can't be what you want, and I won't be what you want and need. I am not Aurora."

"I don't want that anymore." He lowered his voice. "I am through with that lifestyle. I want you."

"You don't know me, Christian. How could you want me?"

"I see a beautiful woman who loves deeply. I see a woman full of determination and drive but still loves her daughter with all her heart. I want to know you more and more every day."

His words left her speechless. She had no reply to his honest declaration. Once again, her heart was beating wildly. Before she could think any thought, she heard the guests begin a countdown. How could it be midnight already? Ten … nine… Where did the time go? … eight…seven…six…Where was Trista? Five…four…three… Why can't I think? Why does he smell so good? Why is he so close? … Two… Is that his arms about me? Is he…is he going to kiss me here in front of everyone?... ONE!...Happy New Year! She felt his arms, strong and determined pull her close then his lips found hers. Without telling them, her arms went around his neck and accepted his kisses. They kept kissing as everyone else wished each other Happy New Year. In that moment there was no time, no space, only heat! They were inflamed with each other. All they knew was that white hot need of each other. He lifted his lips from hers and smiled down at her.

"Happy New Year, Ana."

"Happy New Year, Christian." Her voice was a soft whisper.

"Let's find our daughter." He kept his hand on her waist as he led her into the room to find Trista.

Elliot began to snicker. It was about damn time! He swallowed his flute of champagne down. He had seen the lip-lock between Christian and Ana, and it filled him with joy! Finally, maybe, his brother will have true happiness in his life!