Georgiana was quiet for several moments, blinking back tears that she forbid to fall.
"Oh, Fitzwilliam, I hardly know what to say."
He blinked in rapid succession several times as he procured a handkerchief from his pocket. His sister waved his offering away and composed herself.
"So you see, tis not so straightforward as declaring your feelings. Not when your character leaves much to be desired." Mr. Darcy said softly, smiling at his sister to ease the self-deprecating sting of his words.
"She just wasn't yet attuned to your finer qualities, Fitzwilliam. Or you improve upon acquaintances like myself. Or…." He placed a placating hand over hers and stared out to the water, willing her to be silenced. He couldn't dare hope.
But Georgiana persisted, as she was recently wont to do. "I have seen how she looks at you brother. You must trust me that she is not indifferent."
"I've long known she is not indifferent, Georgie. Only that her feelings for me are not pleasant– and certainly not romantic."
But his heart challenged the words as soon as he spoke them. Miss Elizabeth was certainly softer around him than any encounter previous. And she seemed more desirous of his presence these past few days–no, he thought again stubbornly, he couldn't dare hope.
He cleared his throat and stood, offering his arm to Georgiana.
"Come, we must see to our guests. It is good that Mr. Gardiner has awoken."
The meaning of his words was not lost on either sibling. And they headed back, the only evidence of a pleasant picnic being the forgotten plates on the bank.
Elizabeth paced anxiously in front of her Uncle Gardiner's door as she awaited further news of him. And to settle the way her heart raced from her walk with Mr. Darcy in the meadow. Her desire for her uncle and aunt to be reunited outshone her desire for a confidante. But oh, how she needed a confidante! Georgiana? She thought. But no, it would be too awkward a conversation. She could not very well hash out her conflicting feelings of Mr. Darcy to his own sister!
Her worry of Jane niggled in the back of her mind. She was overdue for a letter from her beloved sister.
Doctor Colbern opened the door and started at the sight of her. He was struck by her beauty from the moment they met. He bowed low with a murmur of her name.
She curtsied, "Doctor Colborn, how fares my Uncle?"
His gaze on her was appraising as he responded. "He is in good spirits, though weakened. He is adamant he will not stay at Pemberley longer than necessary. I do not think it wise for him to move just yet. He needs rest, and I'd like to monitor how his heart fares with more activity."
In truth, Percy Colborn's motivation was twofold. His patient required rest and limited mobility, surely, but his prognosis also allowed for more time with Miss Bennet and her family. He was well taken with the dark-haired beauty of Pemberley and wished to know more of her.
The Darcys walked in to check on their guests, though the siblings looked more morose than expected for such a lovely picnic on the grounds. Darcy fought to keep his composure, for Elizabeth and Doctor Colborn stood closer than strictly necessary.
"Miss Bennet, how is your uncle?" Mr. Darcy took pains to meet Elizabeth's eyes and keep his expression neutral. He could feel a scowl forming.
"He is quite well, though anxious to be moved," Elizabeth responded.
Doctor Colborn was quick to interject, "I was just telling Miss Bennet how I do not recommend such a hasty removal from Pemberley. Not until I can monitor his health more closely."
Georgiana nodded vigorously, curls bouncing. It was not her natural state to be discouraged, and her new matchmaking fancy saw an opportunity. "Oh Lizzie, your family must stay longer. Tell her, Fitzwilliam, tell her how she should stay!" Georgiana blushed at her profusions, "For your uncle's health, of course."
Mrs. Gardiner, hearing voices outside, quietly stepped out of her husband's sick room to join the impromptu party that had gathered. Elizabeth quickly reached out to her aunt and expressed her gladness for her uncle's wakefulness. Everyone echoed her sentiments and smiles abounded. Mrs. Gardiner felt lighter than she had in days.
"Mr. Gardiner is eager to recover in his home, though he is deeply grateful for his care here. I myself am eager to see the children once more, as I am sure they are worried. We would leave tomorrow if it is possible for us to be ready for travel." Mrs. Gardiner's announcement led to varying degrees of dismay for the party.
"Mrs. Gardiner-" Mr. Darcy began.
"Mrs. Gardiner," Doctor Colborn interrupted, "I most seriously recommend your husband stay here to recover for a few more days at minimum. His heart is not well enough for travel."
Mr. Darcy shot a glare at the doctor. "And you are most welcome at Pemberley, Mrs. Gardiner. I could not in good conscience allow you to leave my home without expressing to you how eager we are to house Mr. Gardiner here until his health improves."
Elizabeth, deeply conflicted, bit her lip worryingly and had little to offer for suggestion. Mrs. Gardiner remained at a loss, torn between her husband's wishes and the doctor's orders.
An idea came to Mr. Darcy suddenly, one that only a man of great pride could uncover in the wake of another man's pride.
"Might I speak to Mr. Gardiner? If he is well enough to spare a moment?"
Elizabeth's mouth opened slightly in shock, aware of the lengths Mr. Darcy was going for her family. If only she knew how much farther he would go for her family in the coming months.
Mrs. Gardiner, overcome by the master of Pemberley once more, nodded silently and opened the door to inquire. A few moments later, she affirmed her husband was well, and Mrs. Gardiner and Mr. Darcy entered the room.
The remaining trio waited outside the door. This hallway had not seen such activity for some time, Georgiana thought amusedly. Oh, her guests!
"Doctor Colborn, would you do us the honor of staying for dinner tonight? You have taken such care of our guest, and I know we would like to extend our gratitude,"
Elizabeth agreed, "Oh, do stay for dinner, Doctor Colborn. It is good of Miss Darcy to allow us to express our thanks."
Doctor Colborn's eyes were on Lizzie as he responded, as he felt hope glow in his chest that she was as desirous of his company as he was of hers. "I would be delighted, Miss Darcy. I must see a few more patients this afternoon, but I will be back in time for dinner."
Mr. Darcy and Mrs. Gardiner walked out and shared the news that Mr. Gardiner agreed to stay for another few days.
"Only as his health prevents, of course!" Mrs. Gardiner was quick to reassure her hosts.
"Excellent! I will see you at dinner then, Miss Bennet," and Doctor Colborn bowed gallantly and left.
The scowl Mr. Darcy fought so hard to repress appeared in its full force. Dinner! With Miss Elizabeth! After he just expressed his deepest hospitality to her uncle. Fitzwilliam fought to breathe evenly.
This was the lack of character that Elizabeth accused him of. He would take care of her regardless of any expectation on her part. He would love her without needing love in return. And he would humble himself before Mr. Gardiner because that is the kind of man he desired to be, one who cared for others beyond his immediate responsibility.
He felt the beginnings of a headache dance behind his eyelids and promised his guests he would see them later this evening after he accomplished some work. If Mr. Darcy left instead to brood in his office for several hours, none were wiser.
As Elizabeth prepared for dinner, she felt rather conflicted. She was overjoyed that her uncle was awake and recovering from his attack, but she wondered how much longer she could stay at Pemberley without becoming too attached to the master of the house.
It seemed Mr. Darcy was the highest version of himself in his own home. Or had those qualities always been within him, buried just below the surface of his indifference to those around him? Elizabeth recalled his attempt to explain his shyness to others, and she could not ignore the shame that overcame her as she scoffed at his pains of social awkwardness.
A final tug on top of her head alerted her to the present, and she thanked her maid profusely for her coiffure, though it seemed a tad too intricate for a weekday dinner. She pinched her cheeks regardless, eager to be seen to her best advantage. She was dining at Pemberley after all, and her wardrobe was one of travel, not of luxury. She looked down at her dress spitefully. For her to be reduced to vanity!
A recollection of Lady Catherine's censure of her person elicited a bubble of mirth in her. She was not going into battle with her hosts as she did at Rosings, that much she could be certain.
A timid knock revealed Georgiana, looking flushed and nervous. Elizabeth smiled brightly at her, for she was starting to miss her sisters terribly, and Georgiana was the friend she needed this evening. A lady always needed a female companion when crossed in love.
"You look lovely, Georgie. I am certain London is not prepared for you when you enter society. I will have to tell my sisters' how I met a future diamond of the season in my travels, they will be beside themselves with jealousy!" Lizzie could not help but tease her. In truth, Elizabeth was reeling from the sight of a dress that looked twice her dowry.
Georgiana could not help but blush since she entered the room. Her newly found matchmaking prowess was no match for her brother's confessions of the morning. Miss Elizabeth rejected him! The game had changed, and the stakes were much higher for her brother's heartbreak. How could she subject him to her rudimentary matchmaking when he had already suffered such disappointment?
But seeing Lizzie's easygoing countenance, she could see how dissimilar they both were upon a first meeting. Her brother was far too severe, masking his shyness with a haughtiness even she could admit was unbecoming. And Lizzie, conquering every person in the room with her quick wit and desire to laugh. Twas only their characters and hearts that held a similar tune. Georgie wrung her hands worriedly, determined to end this charade of matchmaking and speak from the heart.
"Miss Bennet, are you and my brother…well do you have any…are your feelings similar…it's just last spring." Georgiana faltered as Elizabeth's eyes turned owlish.
"I am impertinent. I know I am. I must confess I have been rather foolish and schemed to have you and my brother in proximity as much as possible. But it seems I was unaware of the complexity of your situation. And I am sorry, so sorry, to have placed you and him in such awkwardness for so many days." Georgiana rushed in her apology, required a sitting on the settee after such a speech. She truly was not of the same expected stock as those in the country.
Elizabeth was quick to join her on the settee, "Miss Darcy, there is no need to apologize. Awkwardness is only natural with such a history, but I have so enjoyed your company these past few days. I am grateful to have spent time with both of you. It has been most illuminating."
Here she paused and gathered her own courage. "He told you then?"
Georgiana could only nod miserably. The Darcys were not skilled in such frank conversations.
Elizabeth bit the inside of her cheek and mourned the loss of Georgiana's good graces. And to think she was looking forward to dinner moments ago!
"I am terribly sorry, Miss Darcy, to have caused such pain. After you both have been such a kindness to my family." They could barely look one another in the eye.
"But you have not pained me! I only wish for the happiness of both of you. And I thought – rather foolishly I suppose – that a gentle nudge is all that was needed for you two."
Elizabeth could not help but chuckle as she confessed, "If only it was all so straightforward. I have tried to spare Mr. Darcy the pains of my company whenever possible, but I am indebted to him for his care of my uncle and do not know how to express such sentiments. I am not such an astute study of character as I once thought."
Georgiana studied Elizabeth with all the wisdom she had gathered from a decade and a half of life. Though Lizzie was her senior, Georgiana had already loved once, undeserving as the man in question might have been. She could well remember how reluctant she was to be vulnerable. Why must love always enter one's heart and plant doubt if one deserves it?
"He does not wish to be spared from you, Miss Bennet. Quite the opposite. Would you not speak with him, as plainly as you have with me? If nothing else, your words will heal a lingering pain."
Georgiana, so bright and so hopeful, swayed Elizabeth. She affirmed that maybe such a conversation would bear fruit. If nothing else, perhaps a conversation would release her from the ever-present guilt that followed her around the halls of Pemberley.
And the fear, ever budding, that she made the wrong decision.