FLASHBACK...
BELLA's POV
"Bella the car is here!"
"I'm coming!"
I grabbed my cell phone and earphones off the counter and followed behind Alice and she ran outside. The driver opened the door for us and we got in.
"I wonder what restaurant we're going to, I'm so excited." She whispered in my ear.
"You need to relax. No caffeine for you for the next few months. That means no more caramel frappuccinos for you!"
"Bella how long have you known me, I don't need caffeine to keep hyper."
"Still no frapps!"
The driver headed to the northeastern side of town and gorgeous mansions came into view. We eventually pulled up to a restaurant which of course was no less than exquisite. It wasn't the same one Edward took me to last night but still superb.
The driver opened the door and Alice dashed out of the car and into the restaurant before me. Well, at least she's getting what she wants. The host came to greet as soon as we entered the foryer.
"Good day ladies, you must be Ms. Adams and Ms. Blanc, I'm Myles Steffon, it's a pleasure to make your acquaintance this evening. Please follow me."
We were led up to a gorgeous balcony, it was a floral delight and the colors of the flowers were so vibrant. There were four pairs of glass double doors to enter through and the balcony was divided into different sections. I couldn't look over or through the flowers and vines nor see into the other sections. The balcony was grand and modeled after a maze.
Two waiters who stood awaiting at a table introduced themselves . They pulled the chairs for us and we sat down. We were given menus which half of the words were in Italian. The waiters retreated but not before letting us know to ring if we needed anything.
The waiters returned with two bottles of wine. Connor filled Alice's glass and Martin filled mine. They placed the bottles in a wine bucket then retreated once again.
"Bella, look at these wine glasses!"
"I know I know."
I was uninterested in the snobbish display of luxury but grateful the same time. The wine was a pretty blush color and tasted quite sweet.
EDWARD's POV
I looked over at Isabella in her blue summer dress and couldn't help but feel the desire to bend her over the table. She seems to enjoy the wine I selected, no surprise there.
I enjoyed my brandy while I ignored Shelby Forester and admired Isabella. Her shyness, the way she smiled with her eyes and is easily flustered...she's perfect. So fucking perfect.
Shelby is trying to persuade me to buy her company which I have no interest in so I looked past her and at Isabella. Sweet Isabella, always humble and polite. Her friend though...something needs to be done with that Alice. She's not too bad but she's not a positive influence on my Bella.
Bella POV
"What are you getting Belly?"
"I don't know, I'm still undecided. Why don't you pick for the both of us?"
"Okay."
Alice rung the little gold bell on the table and both waiters came promptly.
"Is Mademoiselle ready to order?" Connor asked Alice.
Alice does speak Italian and French quite well so it would be best for her to order. I listened as she ordered and it sounded like she ordered almost the whole menu.
I sipped my wine and looked away from Alice and thought I shouldn't be surprised. We're both foodies but when it's both lavish and free, Alice will take as much as she can. I looked up and noticed Martin staring at me. I blushed. I hope I wasn't sipping loudly, it's an embarrassing habit when I get lost in thought.
"I apologize for staring Mademoiselle but you're just so lovely. The color of your dress compliments your fair skin nicely."
"Thank you."
"Who's going to eat all of that food Alice?!" I yelled in a whisper when the waiters retreated.
"We are."
Edward POV
That waiter needs to keep his eyes in his fucking head before I rip his throat out! I stood up as so did Shelby, she realized I was looking past her and put her head in the way to try to block my view of Isabella.
"Are you going somewhere Mr. Masters? Our meeting isn't over but I'll be happy to patiently wait if you'd like to take a walk or a restroom break."
"Ms. Forester we've been sitting here for an hour and forty-seven minutes which of you've spoke the entire time and have yet to convince me why I should take on a burden covered in gold wrapping paper."
I shook hands with Ms. Forester and her directors then bid them farewell. When I looked again through the floral arrangements both waiters were absent from Isabella's table.
"Sir, Mrs. Masters has arrived. She's downstairs speaking with Mr. Accoso and says she'll be up shortly."
I'll deal with the waiter later.
"Thank you, Myles."
BELLA's POV
Suddenly in that moment I felt a chill run up my spine and the hairs on my neck stood up like someone was watching me. I felt the strange connection I always felt when Edward was near but it was different... I suddenly felt...fear.
After Lunch...
Fleets of jets came into view as we pulled up to the hangar and I noticed Alice's eyes lit up. She was smiling and taking in everything. I took in the sight of the jets as well, they looked marvelous and most of them were outside of the hangar all lined up.
"Are all of these his!?"
"They are." The driver surprised us by answering.
He was usually silent and antisocial, we had forgotten he was even here. When I had tried small talk earlier he seemed so stoic and kept his replies curt.
We pulled into the enormous hangar and Alice dashed out of the car so quickly I felt a breeze blow past me. I didn't know they built hangars this huge, how many football fields would this thing take up?
"Whoa. Bella come and look! Which one should we pick?"
There were two huge jets inside the hangar and a whole fleet on the outside. Most looked to be the same size.
"Umm...I don't know."
Alice was truly like a kid in a candy shop. I climbed the steps and went in.
"Whoa." What I saw made my mind go blank.
"I know right. Edward Masters sure does travel in style and luxury. Lets go with this one, it's quite similar to the other."
"You've already been in the other one?" I asked incredulously.
"Yep, I've seen it and it's almost the exact same as this one."
"Twin pair of jets?"
"Maybe we're actually suppose to choose between these two and the ones on the outside."
"That's probably it."
"These two are humongous, are you sure Edward isn't taking on four hundred and fifty other passengers. I like this one but you should go check out the others too. They look almost the same size as this one."
"Nope, it's fine Alice. It doesn't matter much to me. I still can't believe I'm actually standing in a private jet." I walked around to explore the jet.
I felt arms wrap around me from behind trying to crush me.
"Bella, thank you!"
"You're welcome. Just don't expect a Christmas present."
I heard Alice laugh from behind.
"Excuse me ladies but Mr. Masters would like a word with Ms. Adams."
We both spun around and was met with a tall man with salt and pepper hair. Where did he come from, was he on the jet the whole time? I followed behind him with Alice in tow. As we walked the sight of Edward and an older woman came into view. They were standing next to a black luxury car, he probably just got here. Nervous is definitely my middle name, is she a business associate, a celebrity, a diplomat, someone in important? Even if she isn't any of those things I still feel really nervous.
Mr. Salt and Pepper went left and out of view as I approached Edward and the unknown woman.
"Isabella." Edward pulled me into a tight embrace and nuzzled my neck. "You were on my mind all day." He whispered in my ear.
I felt embarrassed and blushed, I know he did that on purpose. Edward turned me away from him to face the woman.
"I want to introduce you to the only woman who held my heart for the last thirty-one years of my life, My Mother, Esmé Masters."
Damn Edward for putting me on the spot like this! If I knew he was going to pull a stunt like this I would have dressed better! The woman had a genuine kind smile on her face. She pulled me in for a hug which I returned much tighter.
"It's nice to meet you, Isabella. I see you've claimed one of the twins, excellent choice."
"The pleasure is mine, please call me Bella. The jets are marvelous."
"Alright Bella, you're a very beautiful girl."
"Thank you."
Edward and his Mom has something in common, they both can easily make me blush.
"Who's this next to you?"
"This is my bestfriend, Alice."
"It's a pleasure, Alice."
I noticed she offered Alice her hand instead of hugging her like she did me and her smile wasn't as wide.
"Bella, Edward tells me you just graduated college?"
"Yes, I recently obtained a bachelors in Educational Leadership and Administration."
"Beauty and brains, I like it. You're the first woman Edward has ever introduced me to. I'm talking even when he was in high school and college he never brought a girl home. You must be very, very special to him. I can tell why he likes you, you seem like a humble and loving soul and I'm a very good judge of character."
"You flatter me."
"It's true. You look and seem different from the women I usually see on his arm in photos in the newspaper and online. To be honest I'm happy he's never introduced me to any of them."
Edward had his signature expression on his face, indifference.
"Edward told me you all are taking a trip to Europe, will it be your first time?"
"Yes."
"Edward be sure to take her everywhere and show her all things wonderful."
"Of course." Was all he said, no emotion in his voice.
"Make sure he doesn't do any working Bella, he needs a vacation."
"I'll try my best."
"Good. I must be off now, I'm meeting my girlfriends in Croatia for our monthly vacation meetup. I do look forward to seeing you again, hopefully we can have dinner and get to know each other."
She hugged me again.
"Goodbye Son." I watched as she kissed Edward on the cheek.
"Goodbye Mother, have a safe trip."
"Goodbye Isabella, Alice."
"Goodbye." Alice and I both said in unison.
I watched as Mrs. Masters boarded the other jet while her luggage was taken care of. Edward put his arm around my waist as we headed to the jet Alice and I had recently stepped off of with Alice in tow.
Edward helped Alice and I up the steps and we were face to face with Mr. Salt and Pepper once again and a blonde woman...a personal flight attendant? I thought. I was informed that Mr. Salt and Pepper is actually the pilot so I made a mental note to refer to him as Mr. Pilot in my head.
Edward guided us into another section of the jet. Each side was lined with long, rectangular sofas. The sofas were ridiculously long and could seat about twenty-four people on each. Then there were the sectional couches and chairs, L-shaped sectionals, U-shaped sectionals, chaise sectionals, symmetrical sectionals, reclining sectionals and curved sectionals. There were even a few plush couches that were in full, completed circles, it was more like a round bed but actually a plush couch with still a lot of walking space through everything. All of the sitting furniture were modern, plush, wide and spacious, seemed more for sleeping.
The throw pillows were in a metallic fabric and the walls had a thick gold strip running across them. Almost everything was cream and gold, the color scheme reminded me of the castle's. Large flat screens were embedded in the walls and everything looked so modern.
I sat down on the round couch-bed thing and Edward sat next to me, Alice sat facing us in one of the other seats. Before a word was spoken I hit him hard on the shoulder.
"Why didn't you tell me you were going to introduce me to your Mom! I was caught off guard and nervous and-"
"Perfect."
He cut my rambling short.
I rolled my eyes at him. I could give a rendition of one of Mozart's best pieces, butcher it and he would still call it perfect.
"So Edward, Bella's the first girl you've ever introduced to your Mom, huh?" Alice had a mischievous smirk on her face.
"Yes."
"That's so cool, right Bella. So it was love at first sight, you just knew Bella was the one?"
"You can say that."
Edward looked uninterested as he answered Alice's questions. I really wish she would stop with the 21 questions. He and I just started dating.
"My Mother likes you a lot, Bella." He told me pulling me out of my thoughts.
"She was very sweet. I take it you get your stoic mannerism from your Father?" I teased.
We were informed that we were about to take off so I quickly hopped in one of the few upright seats. Most of the regular seats are in the first section of the plane but they looked puffy and comfy too. I wish the planes I take to visit my parents had comfy seats like these. The takeoff part always gives me an uncomfortable feeling in my stomach and I don't want to be lying down when that happens.
Edward was smirking at me.
"Nervous about flying?" He teased.
"Maybe."
He came over and buckled my seatbelt very slowly. The close proximity gave me butterflies in my stomach and I wished he'd hurry up instead of taking his own time.
When he was done he whispered "I wouldn't mind strapping you into something else" in my ear.
Alice came and sat down next to me.
"I know you hate the takeoff process Bella, don't worry cause I'll be next to you."
This is Alice's favorite part about flying, when the plane is circling the runway and lifts off into the air.
"Can you buckle me in too please, Edward?"
"Of course."
Edward buckled Alice's seatbelt but he didn't take his own time with her like he did with me.
"Yippie! Edward Masters just buckled my seatbelt!"
Edward and I both laughed at her.
"Aren't you going to get strapped in?" I asked him.
"No. I prefer to do the strapping."
Edward lied down on the circular couch and stared at me and I knew he did it with the intention of making me feel uncomfortable and of course he succeeded.
The blonde attendant buzzed then came in and served us food and wine then retreated. Do rich people only drink wine? We had been in the air for almost twenty minutes and my heart had regained its normal rhythm. Edward had enjoyed watching my reaction like a sadist when we ascended.
I unbuckled myself and went to lie down. I was still kind of full from the restaurant so I only ate a few bites. Alice's appetite seemed to return in full force.
"I have a craving for chocolate."
Edward pressed a button on the intercom. "Suzanne please bring in selection of chocolates."
When the waitress came in with a cart of different chocolates Alice's eyes lit up.
"I love flying with you Masters."
"Do you have any special requests, Isabella?"
"Water please."
Suzanne nodded and returned shortly.
"If there's anything else you need feel free to give me a buzz. All of the bathrooms are already prepared with all needed feminine products and relaxation treats."
"Are you feeling ill?" Edward asked as he sat next to me.
I noticed Alice's eyes were now permanently fixed on us. Great, first him and now her. I don't like being constantly stared at.
"Edward I want to thank you for allowing me to accompany you and Bella on vacay, it was very generous and I appreciate it so much."
"It was my pleasure."
"Your Mom said you're taking us to Europe?"
"Yes, Rome to be exact. You'll be shopping the streets of Via Borgognona, Via Condotti and a number of others. Whatever you like is yours."
"Yippe! Luxury shopping in Rome."
"Aren't you an excited little one."
"She lives for that kind of stuff."
"And what do you live for?"
His question caught me off guard.
Edward's phone vibrated and I saw him reading a text.
"Excuse me ladies but I have to make an important phone call."
He went into another section but shortly returned.
"Please entertain yourselves in the meantime." Was all he said then handed us two presents and disappeared again.
The boxes were a good size and rectangular, kind of heavy too. Alice's eyes lit up like Christmas lights and she tore off the pretty wrapping paper into little pieces. I opened mine trying not to make a mess.
"Macs! I bet they're the latest with customized software unlike the ready-to-sell ones." she gushed.
Edward's POV
"Sir, something came up - a few legalities with the Hawkins contract but rest assure I'll have it settled in the appropriate amount of time. Isn't Malik available, can't he take the little lady off of your hands?"
"You know I can't trust Malik with her, he may get carried away and I don't need Isabella mourning a loss while I'm trying to...get to know her."
"Of course Sir. She looks to be Jasper's type, have you propositioned him?"
"He's busy but maybe I should have shown him a photo of her. I can't trust Damon, Nolan, Grant...come to think of it most of my acquaintances would be unsuitable. They're appetites are insatiable and...dark. Not that I'm one to talk but I don't want Isabella wallowing in sorrow because her friend got hurt."
"That is true."
"Pass your duties over to Malik then catch a flight out in a day and wait on standby."
"Malik? Are you sure Sir, he's-"
"Don't question just do it. Tell him no fuck ups!"
"Yes Sir."
"You'll be taking the girl sailing on one of the world's largest yachts. She likes wealthy men so they can feed her hunger for lavish vanities. I just want you to keep her around until I can severe the connection and relationship she has with Isabella. Then she can drop off the face of the earth for all I care. Isabella doesn't need any friends, I want to be her only influence."
"The way you described the girl she does sound like she would sell her soul just to become rich. Have you tried bribing her, would she go away and leave her friend alone if you offered her a million or two?"
"Unlikely. She may be a gold digger but she seems somewhat loyal to Isabella. I can't risk her telling Bella I tried to bribe her. With that said, most aspects of her are negative and Bella doesn't need a friend like her."
"If we have a connection I may be able to make it work with her, as long as her eye doesn't wander."
"Do what you like, just whisk her away and keep her away."
I hung up and rejoined my delicate flower.
Bella's POV
"This is much better than the one I have at home. My laptop is on its last legs."
"Bella your boyfriend is the sweetest!"
I'm still unsure of what to call Edward's and my's relationship. I guess he is my boyfriend. Things will probably feel more normal as time passes. Seeing Alice happy made me feel great joy inside, she had such a tough childhood and has been through so much. No wonder she's focused on living like a queen and desires for everything...everything she never had and more. Who could blame her? Alice smiled at me and I smiled back.
"I love seeing you happy and smiling."
"I'm always happy and smiling, Bella."
"But you're extra happy, you're ecstatic."
"I am."
Edward returned from his phone call and lied down next to me.
"Thank you so much for the new laptop, Edward. You're so generous and kind!" Alice yelled right after jumping on Edward and giving him one of her death hugs. He smiled at her and I have to admit when he smiles I feel butterflies inside.
"You're very welcome."
"I'm grateful as well." I told him.
"I'm the grateful one, I'm happy you came."
"Thank Alice. She did a lot of convincing, she should have been a lawyer."
Alice squeezed her self between us and lied in the middle. Edward didn't seem bothered but then again he never really gives away how he feels or what he's thinking and I wasn't complaining.
"I'll have to give you a special present to show you my gratitude, Alice."
"I can already tell this will be a very fun trip and I'm going to love being a third wheel, it doesn't bother me at all."
"I can tell." He said.
"You'll have to excuse Alice, she's very affectionate."
"Do you mind?" Alice asked him.
"Not at all."
Alice hugged him again and told him "I like you a lot, you'll make the perfect bro in-law."
"Alice!"
Edward seemed to find us amusing.
"I think so too. But you may have to convince her to marry me as well." Edward said as he reached his arm over her head to stroke my hair.
"What did I get myself into with you two?" I complained.
"It's too late now. How many hours until we get there, Edward?" She asked him.
"About eight hours."
"Eight hours on a plane with Alice, I hope you're up for this."
"Bella you make it sound like I'm that bad."
"Eight hours of talking non-stop."
"I thought you liked my never-ending chatter, Bella."
"I do, most of the time but try not to talk Edward's ear off."
"If you keep this up I'm going to tell Edward that he was your first kiss and you were on cloud nine after he brought you home that morning."
She didn't just say that! I reached for Alice's neck to strangle her but she rolled over Edward and lied behind him.
"Cloud nine you say?" I could hear the amusement in his voice.
Edward was grinning while trying to stop me from strangling Alice.
"You can't hide behind him forever."
"Do go on Alice."
Alice had her hands wrapped around Edward's waist and grinned at me from behind her human shield.
"She said you made her feel things she never felt before and..."
I eyed Alice strangely. What is she going to tell him.
"Go on..."
"Edward stop encouraging her!"
"You have to promise me you won't let her kill me."
"I won't let my sweet Bella do anything to you."
"She said your dominant ways turns her on and she can't wait to experience it again."
"Well well well, is that so Isabella. Seems you've told her quite a lot."
My face turned cherry red. I was at a loss for words and felt utterly mortified. I don't know what to say. What I do know is that Alice is a dead woman walking.
"I don't have to take this!" I grabbed my new laptop and tried to leave but Edward grabbed me by the waist.
"We've upset you." He told me as he nuzzled my neck from behind.
The waitress from earlier walked in with a cart of fruits.
"I apologize I should have knocked, I'm so deeply sorry."
"It's okay Suzanne, looks can be deceiving."
It took a few seconds before it hit me and I guess it hit Alice the same time too because she let go of Edward and I freed myself from his embrace at the same time.
"It's not like that! Bella's his girlfriend and I'm her overly affectionate bestfriend."
"No explanation is required Madam. I'm sorry for the disruption." Was all the attendant said before she disappeared again.
Edward seemed to find it humorous.
"That's not funny, she probably thought you, Bella and I were going to have a threesome."
"I find it humorous that you didn't want Suzanne to see me being affectionate with you, Bella. It was normal for Alice to push me away because she and I aren't in a relationship." He said then came closer and whispered in my ear "So shy, are you embarrassed to show me affection in front of other people?"
"No."
"Then kiss me." He whispered to me.
Alice was staring at us and I felt uncomfortable.
"No."
"Why not?"
"Because I don't feel like it."
"I do."
"Stop being so mischievous, Edward."
"It's apart of who I am and I think it's one of the things that draws you to me." His voice was heavy with lust.
"You have no shame." I whispered back.
"None whatsoever."
Was all he said before instantly pulling me into a kiss. I was kind of shocked at first but returned it. Almost a minute in I realized Edward had no intentions of pulling away so I did."
"Are you happy now?"
"I'm quite satisfied." He whispered in my ear from behind.
Alice's eyes were glazed over with entertainment and joy.
"Ooww I wanna see that again."
"No you don't!" I yelled
"It'll be my pleasure."
"No it won't." I pushed him away. "I'm done with you two. Alice if you want erotic entertainment then watch porn and you Mr. Masters can get a blow up doll."
I took the new laptop Edward bought and headed into a different room. Each section had lockable doors which I was grateful for.
"Come on, Bella. How many ex boyfriends have I kissed in your presence, I just want a little entertainment." Alice whined.
"And I always told you to take it to your room." I yelled back.
I wondered how many different rooms are on this jet anyway? It sure is enormous.
I surfed the web for amazing sights to check out while in Rome. I don't know how I got myself into this mess with those two lunatics. The two of them are probably going to gang up on me the whole trip. I downloaded skype, some of my favorite games and some of my other favorite programs. As I was about to open Zuma's revenge a call came in through skype.
"Hello dear, how have you been?"
"I've been wonderful Ms. Hall, how about you?"
"I've been okay. I called you because I have some not so positive news."
Oh crap, I forgot about Nick!
"Okay. What is it?" I asked anxiously.
"I'm sorry to tell you this Bella but Nick passed away. Despite Mr. Masters' generous assistance Nick was permanently brain dead. He didn't respond to any of the treatments and his organs were all failing. The specialist had given up on him and because of Nick's state he wasn't really eligible to receive donor organs. As you know the elderly and individuals with multiple health issues aren't exactly prime choices. Not to mention that Nick was being kept alive by a machine."
"Wow. That's terrible and I can't imagine how his family is feeling, his Mother must be devastated."
"There's nothing that could be done, please keep his family in your prayers. I hope I didn't ruin your day, life is so very short. Please try to live it to the fullest and always remember to be happy. Don't let anything or anyone ruin your happiness, Bella. I'm helping his Mother with the funeral arrangements, when a date is confirmed I'll let you know. The center will be closed for a little while but I hope you will lend your assistance again in the near future. Take care, dear."
"Thank you. I'll be sure to call and check in."
To think I was suppose to go out with Nick just recently and now he's gone. Life is so unpredictable. Who would have thought I'd be on a private jet with Edward and Alice.
I realized I left Alice alone with Edward. Alice of all people! Who knows what embarrassing things she's telling him! I'd never be able to look him in the eye again.
I dashed back in there and saw that they were sitting on opposite sides seemingly uninterested. He was drinking scotch or something while reading through some papers. His demeanor had changed to one of business and seriousness and she was on her laptop wide-eyed. Probably looking at new collections from famous designers. Seems they're only into communicating with each other when I'm around. I do want them to be friends and chat even when I'm not near. They do have no problem getting along though, I still owe Alice a strangulation for blabbing to Edward.
Edward looked up from his documents at me and I felt awkward just standing there, staring.
"You came back for more?"
"No! I realized I can't leave Alice alone with you because she'll blab all of my most embarrassing secrets."
Alice had yet to notice my presence or hear anything I was saying but it wasn't surprising. She forgets everything around her when she's online window-shopping. I was about to close it to bring her back down to earth when I felt arms around me stopping me.
Edward's spot was empty. I turned and looked at him and I was sure the curiosity and surprise showed on my face. I didn't even see him get up. He had a mischievous smile on his face and when I was about to ask him how he got behind me so quickly without me seeing him he said "Shhhh." Then looked at Alice, she was off in her own world still unaware of us standing in front of her, she was in one of her fashion comas with her eyes glued to the screen.
Edward took my hand and led me through a few rooms until we reached a bedroom.
"I see where you're going with this."
"Do you? I thought you wouldn't be so shy with me kissing you if we weren't in the presence of anyone else."
Before I could answer his lips were on mine and I was on my tippy toes. I pulled Edward by his shoulders down to my height while I returned his kiss hungrily. It felt like the more time I spent with him the more I wanted him.
He started to grope me everywhere and my body responded to him. I pulled away and blushed at my unashamed primal actions.
"Alice is only a few rooms away, it makes me feel weird. She probably thinks we're doing something funny."
Edward stared at me for a second then laughed.
"Don't laugh at me!"
"Your innocence is quite refreshing. Don't worry, after we land we're going to be staying at my mansion. Her room will be on the second floor and ours will be on the fifth. Don't forget, you were the one who insisted she come." Was all he said then pulled me in for another kiss.
Fifth floor, how big is his mansion and how high up does it go.
"I know. I still want her with us but not during times like this." I said between kisses.
"Don't worry. I'll arrange for her to meet Donatella and she'll be able to select whatever she wants from a private limited collection."
"Donatella as in Donatella Versace. That's so sweet of you!"
"It'll be a present to her for informing me about how much you like my dominant ways." He said teasingly.
I became flushed and dreaded what he was going to say next.
He kissed my neck and said "So Isabella, tell me-"
BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM!
"Your shadow is knocking."
"She must be out of her fashion coma."
"Edward, Bella, I know you're in there and I know what you two are doing! It's your chaperone knocking, open up! All contact will be limited to kissing and only under my supervision!"
I couldn't help but laugh.