I am so sorry for not updating sooner! I decided to skip editing this chapter and just through it out there. Plan is to get the story out as much as possible then edit later. Thanks for your patience!

Arthur carried three dead rabbits by their ears as the two men traipsed through the thick forest, careful not to make too much noise underfoot as they approached Ealdor. Smoke was rising from the village chimneys, a sign people were cooking dinner, which made it easier to weave through the woods unnoticed. Merlin was also seeing the path ahead to avoid running into others, but this made Arthur run into him every time he stopped abruptly due to a funny feeling.

"Oof! Merlin!" Arthur whisper-shouted as he bumped into Merlin yet again, "stop stopping!"

Merlin held his hand up in a stop signal and perussed their surroundings before nodding and waving them onward. "I think you mean 'thank you, Merlin, for making sure no one finds out I'm not dead so I can live in a rundown hut rather than a comfortable castle.'"

Arthur harrumphed, but didn't argue the point.

Finally, they made it to Hunith's hut and slinked to the backdoor, shoulders together, backs pressed to the wall.

"When I unlock the door," Merlin started, catching Arthur's attention, "we'll go inside." Arthur nodded and prepared to bolt as if readying for a surprise attack.

"On the count of three…" Merlin grabbed the handle.

"One…" Arthur bent his knees and bounced on the balls of his feet.

"One and a half…" Arthur gave Merlin a sideways glance.

"Two…" Arthur rolled his eyes.

"Oh for goodness sakes, Merlin, just go!"

Merlin shot him a glare, but then his eyes flashed gold (Arthurdidnotgasp, he did not), he cracked the door, slipped inside, and –

"Oof! Merlin, what did I just say?!" this time Arthur did yell. But Merlin didn't respond. He stood frozen staring into the hut. Arthur moved to go around him.

"Merlin, what –" but his words were cut off as he saw what Merlin was staring at. Or, rather, who. Arthur's heart beat wildly and his thoughts ran a mile a minute as his wide eyes saw…

"Guinevere" he breathed.

There before them, in a simple dress and plain cloak – obviously having traveled undercover – stood his Queen, hands covering her mouth and eyes glistening. For a moment all stood in shook until –

"A-Arthur!" Gwen choked out as tears began to fall freely down her cheeks, "you're alive!"

Alive. Arthur's heart jumped and a sudden twinge of guilt seized him.

Before his mind had processed this turn of events, he was enveloped in a tight embrace, whispers of Arthur, thank God, you're alive breathed through sobs into his tunic. Absently, his arms raised at her sides, muscle memory trying to return the hug and comfort his shaking wife, but such a war of emotions were going through him, he was paralyzed.

Gwen. Was here. Now she knew he was alive. That's good, isn't it? Arthur missed her? She'll ask questions. Why didn't he return to Camelot? Still recovering, yes, that's why. Couldn't send word? With whom? With Merlin? No, Merlin couldn't leave him, Arthur needed Merlin…as a physician, yes, Merlin was a physician and Arthur almost died…

But these would be lies. Or half-truths. Why did he feel so guilty his mind was spinning lies to tell his wife? His Guinevere? His chest was tight, it was getting harder to breath, his hands were clammy with nerves, he was getting a headache…he hadn't even said anything yet and he felt awful…awful because he knew there was no way this would end well: either he would break Gwen's heart with the truth or he would have to lie to his Queen, his heart.

His…heart…

Fingers brushed his outstretched hand and took the rabbits from him. Arthur's eyes found Merlin's and saw his emotional turmoil reflected back at him, but mixed with pity. Merlin understood. He knew what Arthur was thinking, feeling…because Merlin had been in this situation countless times…filled with guilt in the face of the choice to tell the truth or protect his King…his heart.

"Merlin!" Gwen exclaimed in joy and moved to hug her friend, the change jolting Arthur from his thoughts. "I've missed you!" she cried.

Merlin smiled, a little sadly Arthur noticed, and returned her embrace. "And I, you, Gwen."

She stepped back, clasping her hands together, "this is wonderful, you're both ok!" her cheeks glistened with wetness, but her smile rose into her eyes. She was so elated…and Arthur was going to destroy that. His stomach roiled.

"Arthur…" she reached out and entwined her fingers with his, his fingers closing around her hand instinctively. "everyone will be overjoyed when you return to Camelot, both of you!

His breath hitched and his face looked stricken before he thought to school his features. Gwen noticed his hesitation.

"Arthur? What is it?"

Arthur looked down, couldn't bare to see that joy drain from face, replaced with worry and confusion.

More gently, Gwen repeated, "Arthur?"

He dropped her hand. Hurt flashed in her eyes. Quickly he glanced at Merlin who had moved across the room to his mother – oh, yes, she would have been there the whole time – as if Merlin could help him, knew what to do. But, no, this was of his own making and as desperately as he didn't want to do this, it was something only he could – should – do.

"Gwen, I – " he began, running a hand through his hair. Breath in, breath out. Straighten up. Look at her. She deserves to have her heart broken by the honorable man she loves, not the coward he feels like.

"I am not returning to Camelot."

…

…

Everyone had tensed waiting for Gwen's reaction, but she seemed frozen to the spot. Several moments passed before the unbearable silence was broken…by Hunith.

"Your Majesties, we shall leave you alone to catch up in peace." Still looking at Gwen, Arthur saw in his periphery Hunith bow and tug Merlin's arm to guide her son out the front door. Arthur glanced up to catch Merlin's eyes in shared sympathy before the door closed, separating Arthur from one heart and left alone to pick up the pieces of another.