Before
My eyes are glued to the screen. Everyone residing in Panem's eyes are glued to the screen. I watch as Peeta and Katniss pick up the nightlock berries and raise them to their lips. My mother gasps but I can't find myself to be surprised, they love each other so much. They would rather die than have to live without each other. I watch my father as he leans in closer to the screen, trying not to miss a single moment of it all. The singlehandedly most exciting thing that has ever happened to anyone from District 12, and maybe the most exciting thing to ever happen in the history of the hunger games.
"I think they are going to eat them" I breathe out in equal amount of shock and intrigue. It's the first time anyone has spoken in maybe ten minutes, and my dad shushes me as his eyes remain on the screen.
"Be quiet, they are making an announcement" Mom is right, Seneca Carene's voice booms over the arena and he has just announced that there can be two winners again, they have done it. They are victors.
They have done what so many people from district 12 couldn't do for years, they won it all. I watch as the hovercraft takes them away and then the screen goes dark, it's over, we now have two more victors from district 12. My parents and I just sit in the living room, we all are still reeling from what has just happened. I walk out of the room and go into the bathroom, I just need a little bit of privacy for a few moments. I stare back at my reflection in the mirror, my deep green eyes shine in the dim glow of the room and look back at me. My dark brown hair spills down my shoulders in waves. Vanity is not an emotion you can afford growing up in 12 but it isn't until this moment when I really look at myself and notice how much I look like Katniss. I mean it's really no surprise, everyone from the Seam seems to look the same, and we all blend into one group of people who are just trying to survive the day. Katniss is only a little bit older than me, by the next year and the next hunger games we will both be 17. I can feel a bubble of anxiety at the pint of my stomach comparing myself to Katniss. What makes her so different from me? I guess until now I hadn't realized the way they just throw anyone into the games from all walks of life. You just live for the days past your 18th birthday when there is no longer a shot at the odds being against your favor. But now things feel different, I can feel it in the air already. If a girl from the Seam can win the hunger games than anything is possible. Seeing Katniss on the screen makes her feel like a celebrity in a way, like one of the Capitol people almost, she left our world and got sucked into theirs. But District 12 has a way of humbling you and my mind starts to go back to the ways we are both still the same. Katniss has her sister Prim and I am an only child but my father is a coal miner, I'm pretty sure he knew her father. I know I have come across Katniss at school before, bought bread from Peeta's family bakery, I've known these people before they went into that arena. The same people I have just spent days watching kill.
"Ember?" I hear my name called through the door. I quickly turn on the sink and throw some water on my face, I can't let my parents know how scared I feel. It already tears them up every single year at the reaping. Now we have just witnessed someone my age, from our district winning, it probably scares them just as much as it scares me. Everything feels more real than it has before and we are all digesting it. I walk out of the bathroom and back into the shared space that we have been huddled up against the screen together.
"I'm right here mom" I give her a small smile and sit back down on the floor, trying to just focus on keeping my composure.
"Wasn't that just exciting" My mother's words break the tension in the room and bring me back down to Earth, even if it is just momentary I am so grateful.
"Best games yet" My father says it so confidently, I think the wave of worry has washed over us all by now and my parents can no longer hide their excitement, they really are proud for once to be from district 12. For once we have something to celebrate.
"I can't wait until we get to see them being interviewed by Caesar Flickerman, or meeting with President Snow" My mother's voice is beaming with pride, I can't imagine how proud Katniss' own mom is feeling right now.
"That should be coming up soon" They continue to talk amongst themselves and suddenly I'm overwhelmed with how happy they seem about everything, how are they not feeling a little bit scared? Has the reality not set in yet how easily that could have been me out there?
"I think I'm going to go lie down" The words pool out of my mouth like vomit, I can't stop them and I stand up so suddenly I swear I can feel all the blood rush to my head.
"Ember, are you feeling okay?" I can sense some concern in my father's voice, he must notice my change in demeanor but neither of us are brave enough to come right out and say it.
"Yeah, I'm just tired that's all. I guess I'm worn out from all the excitement" I muster up the courage to announce to them both, if they heard a slight quiver in my voice neither acknowledge it.
"That's understandable, there is so much to be happy about" My dad pulls me into a hug, something that is a little out of the ordinary for him, he must be in a really good mood. I revel in the feeling of his warm embrace and can feel myself already starting to feel better.
"Be prepared for a whole week of celebration, we should go out into town tomorrow" My mom offers, I smile and actually mean it. She wraps her arms around us both and joins in with our already existing hug.
"That sounds good" I give them one last smile before walking off into my small bedroom, I lay down on the bed and stare up at the ceiling, a million thoughts are running through my head. I finally let everything wash over me. How I watched that little girl die, how all of Panem's eyes were on her as she took her last breaths to the gentle lullaby of Katniss' voice. I think about how I also watched two people fall in love. For some reason that seems to be sticking with me more this year. In all the death and chaos of the games something new was reborn. It feels almost beautiful in a way. I never really give much thought about falling in love or even knew of anyone that I might even be remotely interested in getting to know better. Love was such a foreign concept until now. I got to watch someone my age find the person she will be with for the rest of her life, it puts a lot in perspective. I think about the first act of defiance that has been shown in years, Katniss was going to make history either way, the first hunger games without a victor, or the first with two. So much has happened, so much is going to change now, district 12 is now going to look like a threat, and I still can't decide if this is a good or a bad thing yet.
The next week is full of excitement and rejoice from all of district 12, we watched Peeta and Katniss talk to Cesar, they went through the highlights of the games and then went over how they were feeling about everything now that their lives have been changed. Everyone, including my family, watched in the square. After their interview we got to watch them be crowned, it was a proud moment for every citizen of district 12, and now we stand outside, anxiously waiting for their train to arrive. I am standing on my tip toes trying to get a glimpse of anything amongst the giant crowd of people. Soon everyone erupts in cheers, indicating that the moment we have all been waiting for is finally here. The sound of clapping fills the air and the train comes to a stop. I join in, even if I can't see exactly what's going on. I hear the sound of the train doors opening as the cheering intensifies and I try to look around best as I can, I may be considered tall for a girl but I'm nothing compared to all the men that stand around blocking my view. It was a special event for everyone today, we all wanted to be down here to personally welcome our victor's home. I see them as they step out, they are dressed well and you can tell are no longer on the brinks of starvation, I can't help but feel a bit of envy. I know they earned this all, that it all came with a price but the rational part of my brain still cannot quiet the hunger in my own belly. They take each other's hands and hold them up to the sky to show they are united, that they won for district 12 and are proud. I feel something inside of me that I haven't felt before, they both showed me that anything is possible. It's this moment that I know things are going to be different from now on, I can't explain it but living in district 12 suddenly means so much more than it did before.
Authors Note: Hello everyone, It has been a while but many years ago I had originally published this fic and then per usual life got in the way, because of that I never finished this little passion project of mine. Even though I had never finished it and hadn't wrote for many years this story and my OC's always stayed in my mind and with the movie release of Songbirds and Snakes I became inspired again. After taking a look back at what I already wrote I realized I hadn't portrayed Ember the way I wanted initially and there wasn't enough detail and imagery that I wanted. Now I have fully edited the first few chapters and even wrote a few new chapters so when I re-launched it would be as close as perfect for you guys as it could be. To anyone who added this story to their favorites year ago I hope this was worth the wait, and for anyone who is reading for the first time I hope you enjoy.