Gwen sat at the table in Hunith's home as early morning light slowly brightened the room. Her white nightdress fluttered in the gentle breeze. Her hands absorbed the heat from the warmed milk in her cup. Hunith sat down across from her, the milk in her own cup warmed enough over the fireplace.
"Thank you for the cinnamon, Guinevere," Hunith said yet again, scoppin a little spice into her drink, "the flavor is lovely," she smiled.
Gwen stirred the brown specks in her cup with a spoon and took a sip. The sweet warmth somewhat eased the ache in her chest. "I'll be sure to send more," Gwen returned the smile as best she could. "Anything you like, Hunith. I'm forever in your debt. We all are."
Sleeplessness sagged beneath Gwen's eyes. Hunith knew her guest had not slept well and ached to relieve the load she carried. She reached across the table and took up one of Gwen's hands, twining their fingers, "I am owed nothing, Gwen, you know that," she squeezed gently when Gwen shook her head, "It is my honor to be here for you and Arthur as though you were of my own flesh and blood."
Tears prickled behind Gwen's eyes and she took another sip. Her own mother had died when she was young and Arthur had never known his mother. Hunith's kind words filled her with both solace and grief.
"I just…" Gwen squeezed her eyes and a single tear fell down her cheek, "I don't understand why Arthur would do this," her quiet voice strained and she tightened her hold on the warm, comforting hand.
"Oh Gwen," Hunith moved to Gwen's side and guided her friend into an embrace. She cradled the young woman to her bosom and offered soothing caresses. For a moment, hot anger at Arthur struck through her; this was the second time Gwen was crying in her arms over something Arthur had done.
Gwen sniffled, feeling like a child, "I know he loves me - he couldn't have saved me from Morgana's enchantment if he didn't - so why wouldn't he return to me?"
Unlike the last lover's quarrel that had brought Gwen to her door - when Arthur had exiled Gwen for kissing Lancelot on the eve of their wedding - this situation reminded Hunith of her own experience with love, an experience that may offer her friend a congenial perspective.
She gently stroked Gwen's hair. "Did I ever tell you about Merlin's father?" she started in barely a whisper, preparing to share a piece of her past she'd never revealed before.
Gwen raised her head, "No. You've never mentioned him," her eyes were wide, surprised Hunith was speaking of him now.
"We were young and in love," a small smile crept across her face, "he would sneak into Old Man Simmons' field to pick flowers for me." The warm memory had Gwen smiling with her.
"I know he loved me with all his heart, and he will always be my one true love, but-" Gwen stiffened as Hunith's tone saddened, "a part of me will never be able to forgive him for what he did."
Silence filled the air. Hunith's eyes watched Gwen warily, her words careful, "he was on the run, you see…" Gwen understood what Hunith feared to say.
"From Uther," Gwen ventured and Hunith tensed, "he had magic, didn't he?" she said softly. Gwen reassured her with a calm hand on Hunith's shoulder, "It's alright, Hunith. I know about Merlin."
Hunith's breathing sped up, "I'm sorry I didn't tell you, Your Majesty. I know the laws, but...I just- I couldn't-"
"No, no, of course you couldn't," Gwen soothed, "he's your son." She gave Hunith an understanding smile, "I'm glad. Merlin has protected Arthur all these years."
A breath of relief whooshed from Hunith. Finally, finally she had someone to speak to about magic and Merlin and…
"Yes, Merlin's father had magic," saying the words aloud after so long released a heavy burden from her heart. She resolved to tell the story in its entirety, now for herself as well as for Gwen. "You are too young to remember the Great Purge, but it was a brutal, cruel time. Merlin's father hid in my home, but eventually Uther discovered he was in Ealdor. Soldiers came, threatened the village to give up his whereabouts."
Gwen hung on her every word, "they didn't know he was with you?"
"No, but we didn't have much time. We both knew this was a possibility, of course. We had talked about what we would do. I wanted to go with him…" her eyes glistened, "he said it was too dangerous," she felt Gwen join their hands in sympathy, "I told him it didn't matter as long as we were together. He kissed me. I didn't realize it then, but he was saying goodbye. Next thing I knew I was waking up in my bed, a single rose beside me, and he was gone. I never saw him again."
She took a steadying breath turning to Gwen, "we are told that love is beautiful, that it is life's greatest joy - but it can also be life's greatest heartache, even when both people share love with all their hearts."
The words hung between them, a painful truth that Gwen understood but was not yet ready to accept. The answers she sought may never come, but the pain she felt was because she loved Arthur deeply. As much as she wanted him to return with her, he was clearly struggling with something that kept him from doing so. She wasn't ready to admit that whatever it was might make Arthur choose to leave her forever.