It was much later that night, after countless decisions had been made, even more phone calls had been placed, and much progress had been made in the condo, that Lisa found herself alone out on the balcony. She had her favorite cardigan wrapped tightly around her as she stared into the night sky, not the same look as back home, but much different with the bright city lights and many sounds the city produced.
Amelia was an incredibly sweet little girl, and eventually, she would be okay. Lisa hated that Amelia would not remember her parents or grandmother, but she did agree with Jack, that yes, they'd make sure she was loved and had a home with them, all of them. Amelia was still confused about what had happened, the idea that any three-year-old should have to grasp the concept of death was almost too much, but she had responded well to Lisa and Jack, Tim even too. Lisa had spent all afternoon with her, going through things in her room, packing them, and enjoying the time she did have to get to know her great niece. Now, Jack was reading her one last story, the little Amelia instantly loving Jack, especially his mustache. Lisa had to smile slightly at that, the way Amelia said it made Jack look funny and how she liked playing with it when Jack carried her around. And, Jack seemed to do plenty of that, already with this little girl wrapped around his finger. He was good with girls, as he should be. He had a house full of them, always had. Amelia had giggled at them when Jack had kissed her earlier, telling them they were silly for kissing. It did Lisa's heart good to be around such a sweet, innocent soul when everything around her was crashing down. As her mind wandered, Lisa felt tears falling, for no specific reason other than to say that she was grieving for her family.
Several minutes later, she heard the sliding door open, and as it closed, she felt a strong, well-known hand on her shoulder. Jack stepped right next to her, his warmth radiating. Lisa had not realized just how cold she was getting until he pulled her to his side and kissed her head.
"You don't have to stop crying on my account," he said quietly, handing her a tissue he produced."
She gestured with her hand while at Jack's side, "I'm sorry. I just can't seem to help it."
"Grieving is a natural process, Lise. You know that, and it's okay," he said with a reassuring tone, rubbing her back. "If you can't let it out with me, who can you?"
"Alone, in the shower or something," she mumbled, and at that, Jack quietly chuckled, squeezing her shoulder.
"Well, this way, I'm here to hold you, to let you know it's okay to cry. I mean, I hadn't thought of the shower, but if you're suggesting the shower, remember we do have Tim-" Jack paused when Lisa swatted at him, chuckling herself a little.
"How do you know how to make me laugh even now?"
"I've known you a pretty long time," he said, kissing her head again. "I know how your mind works, just as you know how mine works. Remember back when I had my broken ribs, and you could almost read my mind at what I was going to try to do to escape?"
"Try to read your mind? I did read it, and you just confirmed you were trying to escape. I knew it. You couldn't stand being home with me."
"That part is completely not true," he admitted, stepping slightly back to look at her face. He wiped at her tears and gave her a sad smile, "I always want to be with you. It had nothing to do with you but with the idea that I was housebound, that I was some invalid, nothing about you. You were just my jailer," he winked at her, but then he grunted when she smacked at him again.
"I'll break those ribs again," she mumbled, and the two mirrored sad smiles at each other as they settled in embracing each other, looking out over the Toronto skyline.
"Sure doesn't seem like the same night sky we see at home," he whistled. "Too bright, too congested."
"The only brightness I enjoy seeing in the night sky are the Northern Lights," Lisa admitted. "I've really become the country girl," she glanced up at him. "You did that, you know?"
"Guilty," he said, kissing her head once again. She turned and leaned up to kiss him, then settling back into his side. Jack continued, "I know it's jut personal opinion, but it will be a much better place for Amelia to grow up, with all of us on the ranch. She'll heal there too."
Lisa shook her head, "I just can't stop thinking about the idea that she won't remember them. She's the same age Georgie was when her parents were killed. Georgie has said over and over she doesn't remember them at all. I just," she paused and shook her head.
"We can keep their memory alive, Lise, for Amelia. Georgie didn't have that, didn't have family around to do that for her. The few things she was told from Jeff, she does hold those memories of her parents. You have family photos, videos, stories, all of that, and even I can offer some stories about were good months he spent at Heartland; we've both said so."
She sighed loudly, nodding, "I know. You're right about that."
"Georgie turned out pretty well, I'd say," Jack eyed Lisa. "She ended up with great parents, even despite their divorce, raised a great kid. She had the best great-grandparents," Jack winked at Lisa, and Lisa chuckled, nodding at Jack. "I mean, even Tim, a grandfather," Jack shook his head and continued, "he's done a pretty good job, for the most part."
Lisa nodded, shifting to wrap her arms around Jack's middle, "Tim was very helpful today. We could not have made the progress we did without his help. He really cleared out that master bedroom. I had trouble watching that."
"I know you did," Jack nodded as he held Lisa. "I think Tim was the perfect person to take care of that. He really stepped up, going and getting all those boxes, packing up almost all of that room already. You did a great job yourself with Amelia's room, and don't tell me that was an easy task. It's never easy when you have a toddler underfoot, especially one that wanted to play with everything you packed.
"She did," Lisa smiled at the memory. "As strange as it sounds, she's definitely helping me, almost a therapy or type of healing."
"That isn't crazy at all," Jack said, shaking his head and looked down into Lisa's eyes. "She embodies your family, what is left of it, and because of that," he pushed hair out of her face again and met her gaze, "I love her even more. She's part of your family."
"Our family," Lisa corrected him, playing with the buttons on his shirt. "On the other hand, it is already exhausting thinking about being completely responsible for her." Jack chuckled at that, humming as he looked at her again.
"I think we can handle it. We have done a good job being grandparents and great-grandparents."
"Yes, but you're not supposed to go backwards," she smiled slightly. "I mean, I guess she will think of us as her parents, right? Someday? I don't know what to tell her. We've told her we are her aunt and uncle, but she's little and I don't know-"
Lisa dropped off, frowning as she tried to process it. Jack shrugged and looked at her again, "I say we not make any drastic promises or anything else. Right now, yes, she's coming to live with us at Heartland. What she wants to call us will be up to her, sort of. I mean, she is three, and we'll see how things go."
"I also need to thank you for handling so much with that case worker. I am at peace knowing that we can bury them with my parents, back home. I think that will be good for Amelia eventually too, having her family to visit, just as you can to the family cemetery at Heartland. Really, now that those details are underway, and we spoke to that funeral home here to have a service for their friends here, it's all becoming too real."
"It is," Jack agreed. "We'll need a few more days to take care of the condo, and we have that name of their realtor friend. I know she will get her commission, but it was kind of her to drop by and offer to help. I did feel better seeing her in a couple of pictures Lauren had on her mirror. They were good friends, so she is the best one to sell this place. Tim spoke to Lou about getting some of the furniture listed and sold online. She said she'd help with that, even from home. You take as long as you need here, but with all of this rolling along, we can look at when you want to return home."
She shook her head, "I don't want to stay here too long. I'm sure it surprises you to hear this," she smiled up at him, "but I can't wait to get back home. This version of travel is not something I want to continue."
"We have that meeting with the lawyer tomorrow about Amelia, to start, as well as the estate. That could go some time."
Lisa nodded, "Tim said he'd watch Amelia. I'm not sure who is the kid in that setting." Both started to laugh, Lisa stepping back and putting her hands on the balcony railing while Jack stood behind her. He leaned over her shoulder.
"You don't have to feel guilty for laughing. Your family would want you to be happy. I know it's hard, and I know you feel guilty for so much, but Lise, we both know, life is short. You have reminded me that, and in fact, I distinctly recall a hotel dinner where you told me it was okay to be happy. So, I am here telling you the same thing. It might not be today or tomorrow, but Lise, even if it's just brief moments like we just had, it's okay to laugh, to be happy."
"Thank you," she said, nodding and tearing up. "I do feel guilty."
"We'll get through this together." He held out his hand, "Come on," he nodded to the condo. "We need to try and get some sleep. Tim is passed out already, but he did work all day after taking that red-eye. Believe it or not," he leaned in and kissed her cheek, promoting a smile from Lisa, "we have a three-year-old who will be up, demanding to be loved tomorrow morning, not to mention the meetings with more people than I can count."
Lisa took his hand, but before they went inside, Jack turned, pulled her tightly toward him, and kissed her. They stood there, in a way, kissing away their sorrows, before Lisa finally pulled at his hand.
"Come on, Cowboy. It is late and definitely time for bed. I just need to know you're next to me."