Ever since their healing session with Starfish, they had been paying a lot closer attention to Flame. He didn't seem like the type to be able to work through a situation like the one that was occurring by himself — maybe he'd even get violent over it, especially after being forced to stop looking. Regardless, they felt an obligation to help after hearing about it.
But Flame kept ignoring them. Every attempt was a failed one, every knock on their door was just another dragon who he didn't want to talk to. He was mad and sad at the same time. Manticore knew how that felt all too well. Especially after that one fateful day.
They set their guitar back into its case and inhaled as they clipped it shut before setting it against the wall. The black leather felt relaxing against their talons; it reminded them of their brother's scales, which was only one of the reasons they kept it so close. The other was because it was the last thing their brother had ever given them before he…passed.
They wished they could go back in time and see his face one last time — he may have been gone, but the memories they shared were far from it. Oh, what they would do to see him one last time, to feel their scales make contact as they hugged, to play one last match of tag or have one more swim in the river. They exhaled and let most of the sadness go with it, all except a little — Dreamcatcher always said nobody can be happy without being a little sad.
They swung open the door and headed towards where they knew Flame and Umber's room would be — or rather just Flame's at that point in time. They stepped on their talons for thinking that, because Umber would come back. He couldn't stay in the woods forever, not with his broken wing. Everyone knew that just as well as Umber did.
They knocked on the door, expecting no response. And just like the last couple of days, there was none. Only the sounds of Flame shuffling around in his bed after being woken up was the only response they got. "Flame, it's Manticore…again," they said. They waited, but no response as expected. "You know you can talk to me, right? I know I may as well be a stranger to you, but sometimes talking to a stranger is what someone needs."
They waited a few more moments. No response. Only more angry shuffling in his bed. But then an idea came to mind — a tactic that Dreamcatcher and Starfish had both used on them multiple times before. They may have thought it went unnoticed, but that was far from the truth. But talking about him was the last thing they wanted to do, and unfortunately, they were down to just the last two.
"Umber will come back, I hope you know that. I've seen you two together, and every time I see the connection between you. It's something I've never seen between two dragons before, especially as opposite as you two seem." They let out a fake chuckle and realized they should get to the point. "What I'm trying to say is that Umber will come back. He wouldn't kill himself in a forest knowing he could come back anytime and run into your arms."
They hoped it would work, but as the mechanical clock ticked behind them and at least a minute went by, they knew that Flame wasn't going to come out. Had he really lost all hope that Umber would come back? Maybe he wasn't even in his room and Manticore was just imagining things and they were talking to a wall.
But it didn't take much thought before the words came out of their mouth. Flame needed someone right then, and that someone was Manticore. They couldn't just not help — Flame was more important than their problems. "You know, I can relate to this situation in a way," Manticore explained. They paused and hesitated before continuing. "...Before my brother died, he began pushing everyone away." Their head dropped as the memories came flooding back. The way he walked, the way he didn't care about what anyone had to say, the way the hate faded into the background for him as if it was just white noise helping him sleep. "I think it was because he didn't want to hurt anyone before he passed, but it only made it worse. I had never felt further from him during that time, kind of how you probably feel with Umber, metaphorically and literally."
They thought back to the arguments they had overheard between the two. "My brother pushed me away because he loved me, and it feels like Umber is doing something similar — pushing you away because he doesn't want to hinder your relationship, but he's destroying it in the process." They sighed, releasing most of the sadness surrounding their brother again. "I know what you're going through — I've gone through it myself, just without the hope he'd come back. So if you can talk to anyone, it'd be-"
They were cut off by the door swinging open and Flame falling into Manticore with a hug. A shy whimper could be heard through the halls as tears poured down his scales. "I messed up so badly," Flame managed to say. Though Manticore was taken completely off guard, they held him close because that's what he needed right then — a dragon's comfort. A hug from a stranger.
Manticore was the first dragon he could relate to over his situation. Maybe that's what made it so easy to hug them as if they were Umber. Maybe that's what caused tears to stream down his face as he sobbed into their shoulder. Maybe it was the fact that Flame hardly knew them. He didn't have an answer as to why — all he knew was that it made him feel better. A lot better.
It made the pain manageable, for the first time in days. How they knew exactly what he needed? He didn't know. But something told him it had to do with their brother — maybe a stranger was there for them when they needed them most.
Manticore brought him down to Starf afterward, because they both knew he had been skipping his sessions — Starf had almost been bothering him as much as Manticore, and if it weren't for looking for Umber, he probably would've forced Flame to go to his sessions, whether he had to bring his jar of ink and clipboard into his room or not.
"Finally decided to show up for once?" Starf said with a mix of irritation and satisfaction. His clipboard was off to the side, his jar of ink was sealed shut, and the napkins he used to wipe his talons hadn't been taken out — he wasn't expecting to see Flame, to say the least.
He walked in and Starf closed the door behind him, leaving Manticore outside. A part of him preferred they came in because they would hear his problems, but the other preferred they stay out because they could hear his problems. He chose the latter, deciding to keep his private healing sessions private.
Starf got out everything he needed to begin a session. He wasted no time to dip his talons in ink and take the clipboard out. "So, Flame, I know we haven't been exactly chatting lately — for obvious reasons —, so we have a lot of catching up to do. First, let's tackle the elephant in the room," he said. "How have you been handling this so far?"
Flame thought about lying for a moment, before remembering how he opened up to someone he didn't know. "Not well," he admitted, but he kept the answer vague. Starf began writing down things on his clipboard — as usual.
"Not well how? What things have you been doing?" he asked. He leaned back in his chair, relaxed.
"I locked myself in my room, ignored anyone anytime they tried to talk to me, and constantly fought myself and cried over Umber. Not well," he said again. Starf wrote more down. Flame assumed it had to be something along the lines of 'Can't handle life without Umber, needs extensive treatment'. "So how bad am I doing?"
There was a pause. "Flame, do you remember what you did when Umber was in the hospital?" he asked. Of course, he remembered! How could he not? With Umber in the hospital, he felt like everything was hopeless and nothing else mattered. It was probably the lowest point in his life.
"You mean how I locked myself in my house and ignored and screamed and hurt anyone who tried to get me to come outside? Kind of similar to what's happening now, isn't it?"
"Except this time it didn't take Umber coming back to get you to talk. All it took was a little convincing," he said. "And this time around, nobody was screamed at or injured." He paused again, probably to give Flame time to think about it. He did think, and he quickly realized that progress was there. "If you were to ask me, you've made substantial improvement from last time, so don't act like progress isn't there when it's shoving itself in your face."
But progress didn't change what happened. Him doing the bare minimum and not hurting and screaming at others wasn't the issue. He still trapped Umber, and he was still lost in the woods, scared, cold, hungry, and alone. Flame knew how hard hunting was — he had tried it himself, and he had wings. Umber, on the other talon, couldn't even fly up and grab a bird, or a chipmunk from a tree.
"That doesn't change anything," he said, his voice low and his head dropped. Sadness that was temporarily obscured by the realization he was doing better was coming to light. "I still messed up, I still trapped Umber, and he's still in the woods; no amount of progress is going to fix that."
Starf sighed. "I'll agree, you messed up. You messed up really badly." The words hurt to hear even when he already knew them. "But Umber is still out there, and we'll find him and bring him back."
Flame felt a jolt of anger play his mouth like a puppet. "And what if he doesn't want to come back?! Then what?! He obviously doesn't want to fucking see me, or even get close to me! What are you going to do if you force him to come back and he runs away again?! Because of me, because of just the sight of me!"
He waited for Starf to say something, but he just let silence dwell in the room. But it got his mind thinking. What if there was a way for Flame to communicate with Umber? Even with the distance? Could he convince him to come back? What if there was a way for Flame to help Umber even without being able to go near him? What if he could sort out his issues without them physically being close?
That's when a familiar shiny blue gem appeared in his thoughts, and it felt like all of his problems had been solved.
If he wanted to talk to Umber, he could use a dreamvisitor.
He planned on leaving later that day.
It'd been days since he slept, and he constantly looked over his shoulder to see if anyone was following him. Every little sound rattled him, every twig breaking scared him, and anytime his guard was down he was nervous.
But as the sun rose and the remnants of his latest kill laid dead on the ground, things were slightly looking up — he hadn't eaten in at least a day at that point, and the food didn't taste nearly as good as Flame's cooking.
Flame… he thought. I wish I could look you in the eyes without flinching, I wish I could touch your scales without my mind recoiling at the thought. I wish I never got myself into this mess. He thought about it more, but couldn't decide which he'd rather want, the former or the latter — to face Crane, or to run away. Seeing the look on Flame's face as blood dripped from his scalp made the latter much easier.
He shook his head, shaking away the thoughts at the same time. Without wasting any more time, he grabbed a bunch of sticks and threw them into a pile, before lighting it on fire in an area where it wouldn't burn the entire forest down, and probably taking Umber with it.
He stabbed a piece of meat through the middle with a sharper stick he carved with his talons and hovered it above the raging fire. He saw it in a graphicoll once, so it should transfer over to real life, right?
He only stopped twisting it when the outside was a nice, crispy brown, and the air reeked of deliciously cooked meat. The only thing that would've made it better was if Flame was beside him, hugging him close with his wing.
He took his first bite of the meat, straight off of the stick. He didn't care whether it was unseasoned or not, medium-rare or well-done, because the flavors were all a gray line of deliciousness. But not even the best-tasting thing he'd had in days could distract him from the bittersweet feeling of running into Flame's arms. On one talon, his mind recoiled at the thought of their scales touching. But on the other, his mind sunk into the feeling of them sharing their warmth, the feeling of their lips meeting and his breath catching in his throat at the same time. He forgot to breathe.
But then he realized something — a fatal mistake that would surely cost him. The air reeked of deliciously cooked meat.
How had he not thought about that?! How had he been so dumb to completely forget that dragons were constantly searching for him — searching for the scent of a dirtied, beaten up, broken-winged dragon? Who would cook meat in the forest instead of going to the Healing Center except for the only dragon who couldn't?
That's when his worst fears came true, and he heard the sound of twigs breaking and leaves rustling getting closer and closer by the second.
His heart dropped, along with the stick of meat in his talons. He didn't hesitate to run, and he bolted in the opposite direction of where the dragon was coming from. He looked back for just a second as he disappeared into the treeline, only to see a bright blue SeaWing emerge from the trees and gaze upon his campsite. He must've been at least twice Umber's size. That's when their eyes met, and both of their paces picked up tenfold.
His talons dug into the ground and he whipped his head back around, narrowly dodging a branch that would've clothlined him within half a second. Branches hit against his scales and face, and bark fell into his eyes as he ran. But he kept going, for the sound of footsteps drew closer by the second. They were gaining on him, whoever it was.
His heart pounded so fast he felt like his legs might give out from underneath him. Pound, pound, pound, was all he could hear in his ears. The exhaustion from sleep deprivation wasn't helping either, but the only thought on his mind was to escape.
But then, his worst fears came true when he nearly fell into a raging river. He looked left and right, but quickly realized there was no going around. The rocks that polka-dotted the river were covered in moss, so any attempt at using those would lead to him either falling and breaking another bone or making his wing even worse.
Not like it would matter much if he got captured.
So he did the only thing he could: swim. With one dive, he pushed himself through the water as fast and as hard as he could, using his unbroken wing to give him an extra push. The water was freezing, and the river pushed against his broken wing, making the pain intensify, almost too much for him to handle.
But one word kept him going: escape. Escape from facing Flame, escape from facing Crane, escape from facing Nighthunter. Escape from the mess he put himself in and ignore his problems.
As he was halfway across the river, he heard the SeaWing behind him dive in. There was nothing else he could do but swim as hard as he could, but it wasn't more than a few moments before he felt talons pulling him back, digging into his scales. He fought back, but it was no use as the SeaWing pinned him underwater, causing his struggles to be far easier to contain.
With his snout buried in the river floor, he knew it was over. He knew he would be taken back to the Healing Center, whether he liked it or not. He knew he would have to face Flame in just a few short minutes.
His run was over.
Minutes passed as the SeaWing yelled out for who Umber assumed was his group. Breathing wasn't a problem — obviously — but it was still uncomfortable, as his snout was halfway into the gravel and dirt underneath, and the water was nearly freezing. He couldn't blame them though, as it was the only way the SeaWing would've been able to keep him from trying to wriggle out of his grasp.
Finally, he felt another pair of talons gently pull him out of the water, minding his broken wing. But then he felt rope bind his talons together, and his feet as well. He was carried to land, where he could clearly make out his capturers' faces. The SeaWing who had captured him was none other than Starfish. The other two — a NightWing and a SkyWing — he didn't recognize.
He was propped up against a tree and laid out for his scales to dry in the hot sun, but it wasn't long before he fell to his side. All he could feel was defeat and the immobilizing fear of having to confront Flame again. Would he be mad? Happy? Sad? He didn't know, but Starfish didn't give him the chance to ponder on it for too long.
"You know we're only doing this to help you, right Umber?" Starfish said as he stood in front of him. Even being a short SeaWing, he was still massive compared to Umber. "You can't live out here forever, and Flame is worried sick back at the Healing Center. You know we had to force him to stop looking because he was staying up day and night in the forest, hardly sleeping or eating. One of the search parties found him passed out on the ground, and he looked like he hadn't eaten or bathed in weeks."
Umber didn't respond. Instead, he turned his head away — he couldn't bear listening to Starfish as he told him how Flame had been doing. What he caused Flame to do. The SkyWing in the group took off, presumably to contact anyone at the Healing Center who could help bring him back.
"When he got back to the Healing Center, he didn't leave his room. Sometimes when I passed by, I heard him yelling and throwing things. Needless to say, he didn't attend a single session when he got back, until earlier today — thanks to Manticore."
Umber sealed his eyes shut, hoping that Starfish would stop talking. He always theorized what he was doing to Flame, staying in the forest, and what he was doing was definitely higher up on his list of possibilities. His heart ached, and guilt washed over him like a tsunami. But still, it wasn't enough to make him want to go back.
"Please let me go," Umber begged desperately. The words flowed out of his mouth, whether he liked it or not. He knew the answer all too well, but there was a glimmer of hope. "I don't want to see him, please."
Starfish just stared at him for a few moments. "Umber, you look like you haven't eaten or slept in days, your wing is broken, you hardly know how to hunt — let alone swim, and you're emotionally unstable. You will not survive out here, it's not a question. If we let you go, you will die, either by a predator taking advantage of the fact that you're too weak, or you'll starve to death."
He knew it was true. He knew he would die if he stayed in the forest. But somehow, some way, it seemed like a better alternative than facing Flame. Maybe that was the exact reason he needed to face Flame — the reason he needed healing. A tear dropped from his eye.
He knew he needed to escape. He didn't know what he'd do after except for running until he couldn't, but he knew something needed to be done. But he couldn't cut the ropes himself, he needed someone to do it for him. And the idea that popped into his head was one he hated from the deepest pits of his heart. But if he wanted to escape, he knew it was the only way.
A few minutes passed as he built up the courage to do what he needed to do, but time was running thin. He didn't know how deep he was into the forest, but seeing how a SkyWing was flying to the Healing Center to probably get more SkyWings, he didn't have much time.
Starfish came over to prop him back up against the tree. Now was his chance. "Untie me!" Umber said in his most aggressive, threatening voice. It worked on Flame, so it would at least strike a little fear into Starfish, right?
"I'm afraid I can't do that, Umber," he said. But he expected that answer, so he went into part two of his plan — even thinking of the words hurt, let alone saying them.
"Untie me or I swear by the moons I will burn this whole forest down!" he yelled. He looked over at the NightWing who was keeping watch, whose attention was immediately caught. His heart slammed against his chest, and all he could hear was the blood pumping in his ears.
"From what Flame's told me, you'd never hurt a fly, let alone a whole forest full of dragons." He turned back around and watched the sky for their SkyWing to come back with a hurd of others.
"You think I haven't fucking changed out here?!" Umber screamed. Swearing hurt. He never wanted to do it again, but he had to — he had to play his part. To escape. "I have been through a lot over these last couple of weeks, so if you think for one fucking moment that I'm still the Umber you knew, you'd be sorrowly mistaken." He felt like crying, but he had to hold it together. He had to keep forcing the words out. He built up the biggest flame he could in the back of his throat and pointed it at Starfish once he turned around.
He jumped back. "Stargazer!" he called out, and fear plagued his voice. Genuine fear. It hurt. The NightWing quickly turned around, only to see Umber pointing the flame at them both — they were both within close proximity, so it wasn't the hardest thing to pull off. He wouldn't though, but he would certainly fire off a warning shot to make them believe he was serious, even though he was far from it.
The leaves on the ground caught fire when he blew a flame at them, but he made sure it didn't reach. Stargazer tried to run at him to subdue him, but Umber was quicker with building up his fire — years in war taught him well. He backed away, and Umber began working on cutting his front talons' rope away.
"Umber," Starfish tried. "Just calm down." In reality, he wasn't angry. He was scared and desperate for an escape. Desperate to run away from the love of his life. Desperate to run away from his life and his problems.
He ignored him — any more words and he would break out into tears, and Starfish would realize his act and exploit his moment of weakness. So he kept it together, and instead, focused on cutting the ropes away from his feet. Stargazer and Starfish were both too convinced of his new, mentally ill personality.
But as he was cutting, he let a tear fall from his eye and wiped it away as fast as he could. A few seconds later, the rope snapped around his talons, and he immediately began running. The look on Starfish's face was in shock, to say the least. But he let his tears run free as left, in hopes to let Starfish know that he didn't mean it.
He ran for what felt like forever until his legs finally gave out from underneath him. And instead, he laid sobbing in the dirt for what he had done — for the fear he had put Starfish and Stargazer through. They probably thought they were going to die to Umber's talons. But I had to, he thought to himself. It was that or face Flame again.
That didn't stop the guilt, though. It hammered at his heart like a spear jabbing at his ribcage over and over again. What would Flame think? He hoped the message went across to Starfish. But they didn't chase him, so he wasn't sure. If they knew he wouldn't have, then why didn't they chase him after he ran?
He didn't have answers to those questions before the melatonin took hold of his mind, and his thoughts faded into the background. The last thing he remembered in the conscious world was the thick smell of dirt as his snout buried itself into the ground.
The next thing he knew, he was back in their room at the Healing Center. Both of their beds were empty, and one singular candle was lit on the table beside a graphicoll, lighting the whole room up. But it didn't feel like a dream — instead, it felt real, but he couldn't shake the feeling that someone else was there with him.
He walked over to the graphicoll and inspected it closer, but the words were all a jumbled mess and incomprehensible. He looked back at his wing only to see that the bandage that was once wrapped around it was no more, and he could stretch it at its full length without issue. He was confused. Where was he? It didn't feel like a dream, and it certainly wasn't the real world.
But his question was quickly answered when the door behind him creaked open. He turned around, only to see Flame standing in the doorway. Just as quick as he saw him, he looked away and sealed his eyes shut. "Umber…" Flame said in disbelief.
"Go away!" Umber demanded. He knew what this was all too well — the strange feeling of a dream, the feeling of a presence in his mind that wasn't his, and the surroundings. And based on the look in Flame's eyes, it was almost confirmed.
Flame was dreamvisiting him.
"I heard about what happened earlier, and I just want you to know that I know you didn't mean it." Umber heard him take a few steps closer. "Whatever you think I'm mad at you for, I'm not." Desperation flooded his voice, and Umber heard it break as he cried. "I-I really miss you Umber, a-and all I want right now is for you to come back."
He hadn't even realized that he was mimicking Flame, and tears were pouring down his scales and dripping onto the floor. He kept his sobs quiet. "I-I can't!" Umber exclaimed.
"Why?!" Flame shouted through his tears. "Please just tell me so we can work through it! Why are you running from me?!" He took more steps closer, and Umber could practically feel his warmth against his scales.
His mouth moved before his mind — he didn't even have a chance to think twice about it before the words came barreling out of his mouth. "BECAUSE I CAN'T STAND TO LOOK AT YOU!" he screamed. "NOT AFTER WHAT I DID TO YOU! I CAN'T HUG YOU OR KISS YOU OR STARE AT YOU KNOWING THAT I HURT YOU! A-AND ONCE I COME BACK, I'LL HAVE TO FACE HER AND I'M NOT READY TO!"
There was a moment where everything fell silent, and even the fake breeze could be heard outside. But the silence passed, and Flame's arms and wings were wrapped around him. His touch was warm and his talons were relaxing. He felt himself sink into Flame and sob. "I-I just can't do it anymore…" he wept. Even though it was a dream, his headache was very real.
"Everything will be alright," Flame said, though still crying. "Please…just think about it. When you think about coming back, don't think about Crane; think about us — think about our future. Think about us doing all of the things you've always wanted to do. You're the third moon that lights up my sky at night, never forget that." His voice was low and comforting. Comforting enough to where he almost wanted to go back.
Almost.
But he wasn't ready. He didn't have the strength. He couldn't face her. He looked up at Flame's face, but he didn't feel the resentment towards himself anymore. He could stare Flame in the face without wishing the worst upon himself.
With his mind and body in sync, he gave Flame a kiss on the lips. But then everything went black, and he was pulled out from the dream sooner than he wanted and awakened at night in the dark forest with his snout firmly implanted in the dirt.
I'll try, Umber said to himself. I'll try…for you.
Author's notes: This chapter actually came out earlier than expected, believe it or not. I managed to pump this chapter out in just one week this week, as last week I was working on finishing up the chapter. It was originally going to come out next week, but when I was at 4.3k words yesterday, I realized I could just release it today. Healed is coming to an end shortly though. As sad as I am to see it begin to finish up, it was bound to happen at some point, especially 200k words deep.