I do not own Re:Zero or any of the characters.
Repeating
"Deep breaths, Subaru," Ian said calmly, though his eyes burned with a cold, guarded light that only Rem and Ram noticed. "Focus on who you are."
Subaru had read Meili's book, but had dived too deep, and had begun to lose touch with himself, his identity blurring with Meili's, at least, according to Beatrice. Ian's main concern, however, was something else entirely. Wolf, who was supposed to have been with Subaru, was missing, and that cold empty feeling inside Ian was beginning to feel more suspicious now.
"What happened?" Elena asked as she ran in with Frederica, Julius, Ram, and Echidna just behind.
"Meili's book appeared, Ian said. "Subaru read it, but he took it hard."
"Was it really hers?" Emilia asked.
Subaru managed a nod, and Ian glanced at Elena, and Aria who hovered beside her.
"Let's split up and search for her," Ian said. "She didn't leave, because Shaula's under control." He glanced at Shaula, who was off to the side, holding Meili's book now. "So she should be here somewhere."
"Did you manage to see the end of her memories?" Echidna asked Subaru.
Subaru remained silent, and Ian grit his teeth, a dark suspicion filling his chest.
"It doesn't matter," Ian said. "We'll split into groups that even out the combat power of our group."
Everyone nodded, and they all split into groups and spread out. Ian went with Elena and Frederica, Rem and Julius going with Echidna.
"Aria," Ian said as they left the library, where Subaru stayed behind with Beatrice.
Aria took her true form, looking worried. "I can't sense Wolf."
"I know," Ian said. "Neither can I. I think he might have been killed."
"Killed?" Elena blinked.
"Without a fight?" Frederica asked. "How?"
"My guess is surprise," Ian said darkly.
The others fell silent, and for the next half a day, they searched everywhere they could access in the tower, but to no avail. Meili was nowhere to be found, and when Ian asked Subaru where Wolf was, Subaru said he had simply disappeared. Finally, they all gathered for dinner, finding everyone was still present besides Meili. The mood was dark and unpleasant, understandably, and no one was speaking much.
"Everything's just been going wrong since we came to this tower," Ram finally broke the silence.
"No need to put what was left unsaid into words, even if that's what we're all thinking," Subaru responded.
"For now...I first went to ask Reid about her, but he said he hadn't seen her," Emilia said. "He said that no one had come there since yesterday and that he was getting bored. I don't think he was lying. Since Meili had seen what Reid's like, I don't think she'd have gone there alone."
Beatrice nodded. "It's hard to imagine that even that arrogant man would harm such a little girl...though, I can't say that for sure, as scary as that is, I suppose. But...Betty ultimately agrees with Emilia's thoughts, in fact."
"He'd probably hurt her, but he wouldn't kill her," Ian said, making sure to keep Subaru in his peripheral vision. "There might be someone else in the tower that we haven't found."
"Can I mention one thing?" Echidna spoke up after a moment of silence. "It may sound cruel, but I want to propose something, and I am prepared that I may end up being shouted at because of it." She paused to drain her bowl of bland soup. "Searching for that little girl...I think we should stop for today...and from tomorrow, we should focus on trying to capture this tower again. What are your thoughts about that?
"We will do no such thing!" Emilia snapped. "What would Meili think of us!?
Echidna shook her head. "It is already too late. She has no way to think or feel anything. That was proved by Natsuki's confirmation after he read her Book of the Dead. I am against further searching for her."
"Wait, I suppose," Betrice said as Emilia struggled to respond. "Your point at first seems to make sense, in fact. But it seems quite sudden for you to mention it, I suppose. Why is it that you want to stop the search for Meili?"
Echidna tilted her head to the side. "Was it really that strange to say? In this tower, the food supplies we brought in are limited, and as more days pass by, it will likely become more burdensome for everyone in each camp to stay here. If our stay greatly drags on, then you ought to think that a search party will be sent out to look for us."
Ram nodded. "Naturally. Miss Emilia and Miss Anastasia...well, what's inside of her now is different, but both of you are esteemed candidates for the royal selection. You both shouldn't even be in this tower in the desert."
"Gee," Shaula spoke up. "This isn't much fun. If you're going to squabble, I'd rather you did it away from Master and I. But I don't mind either way, as for me, I'll build a happy family with Master, just the two of us. A girl first, and then a boy, and then another boy!"
"That's enough, Shaula," Ian said.
"We should stop arguing," Julius spoke up. "Miss Beatrice, Miss Ram. As a member of her camp, I deeply apologize for Echidna's careless words. However, don't misunderstand what she meant to say. She didn't make such a proposal with only rationalism in mind, with no other meaning to it."
"Julius, stop," Echidna said. "That speech was-"
"Miss Emilia's camp may have lost the little girl that accompanied us here." Julius cut in. "That pain can be felt there. If possible, we should be more understanding in this situation."
Hearing Julius' sincere remarks, Echidna stopped herself from saying any more.
Julius turned to face Beatrice once again. "For now, Miss Anastasia's body has been pretty much taken over by Echidna's spirit. It's true that in her current state we can't find a way to get Miss Anastasia back...but, there are other issues as well. Echidna is, with every passing moment, consuming Miss Anastasia's Od."
Emilia gasped. "Her Od...So, she's always been burning her way through it? Has it always been like that, ever since Anastasia became unable to be woken up?"
Julius nodded. "Indeed. I imagine that's why she wants to hurry to borrow the Sage's wisdom by capturing this tower."
Everyone watched Julius and Echidna with mixed amounts of shock at hearing Echidna's secret being spoken out loud by Julius.
Echidna, whose secret had been revealed by her own camp member, shrugged her shoulders at the people staring at her. "No point in trying to gloss over this. It is as Julius said. I...I don't think it's a good idea to consume so much of Ana's Od like this, which isn't really abundant in the first place. If I can, I want to return this body back to Ana as soon as possible."
Emilia stared at her. "Even going as far as letting go of her human body, so you're free?"
Echidna nodded. "Even if I can free Ana's body, my own mind itself is being bound unfreely. I don't know how much you'll trust me with what I'm saying, but..." Echidna paused for a moment, and then continued her speech. "Essentially, one's very vessel should contain its own being. Even if you just borrow the outer shell, if the insides don't come with it, it will fall to tatters and become unnatural. And that's just plain awful."
Everyone fell silent for a long while as they digested her words.
"Anyways, that is why I want to hurry up and capture this tower," Echidna said. "By all means, if you don't believe what I have said, you can let someone like Beatrice poke around this body just to make sure. I suppose they will immediately see how distorted I am as a spirit and how much Od I have consumed."
Beatrice took Echidna's arm and probed into what in principle was her body. It seemed like Echidna's words were proven to be true.
Emilia nodded. "Okay. I understand the difficult circumstances that Echidna and Anastasia are in. It's no wonder you want to hurry up and climb all the way up to the top of the tower."
Echidna nodded. "I do not know if this will bring you peace of mind, but if it is as it is said and the Sage in this tower is omniscient, possessing esoteric wisdoms, then it is possible that he may also know the whereabouts of where the little girl disappeared. When putting it this way, I really do know how unfair it is, but...
Emilia shook her head. "No, no, thank you. It's better than having no hope left at all. You're also looking out for me, and Meili too, aren't you?"
"Hmm," Echidna hummed thoughtfully. "Maybe. Or maybe it is just that mine and Ana's body is far too cute?" She smiled at her attempts at a joke.
Emilia was silent for a long few moments before speaking. "I am reaaally worried about Meili. But...I also get Echidna's point. So, starting from tomorrow again, let's do our best to try and get to the top of the tower. Of course, I will keep looking for Meili as much as I possibly can, but..."
"Remember to not neglect the importance of capturing the tower, Miss Emilia," Julius reminded her.
Emilia nodded. "I know. Sometimes, you've gotta think on your own about what's important." She turned her eyes to Subaru. "Is that okay with you too, Subaru?"
Subaru nodded. "I-I guess that's okay. That way Meili can also rest in peace. No, I guess we all need to move forward. No, no that...uh, why are you asking me?"
"Because Subaru read Meili's book?" Emilia said. "When I saw Subaru's reaction immediately after reading it, I...that's why I think the one who is the most worried about Meili should be Subaru."
Subaru nodded. "I'm definitely worried. But...I think Meili also would have wanted us to go on."
Ian's eyes narrowed almost imperceptibly, but he said nothing as they all called it a night. They all gathered in a single room together, putting up a partition between the boys' and girls' sides. The only person not present being Subaru, who had chosen to sleep in the Green Room to help recover from reading Meili's book. Ian lay awake for a long while before finally getting up and walking out of the room in silence. As he did, he glanced back, seeing Rem and Ram nod at him before settling in to guard the others. Ian left the room and looked around, finally stopping as he spotted Subaru ducking into a room off to one side. Ian followed to the open door in silence, watching Subaru cross the room to a block of stone and look behind it. Confusion bloomed on Subaru's face as he stared at the space opposite the block from the door.
"Looking for something, Subaru?"
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