Another scroll handed to him from the Hokage. Another rogue shinobi to track down and assassinate. They had received intel that one of their own had been helping Orochimaru from within Konoha. He had been slipping information from the Intelligence Division so that Orochimaru could stay one step ahead of them. These were their own people who had deflected to that traitor. It disgusted him that a Konoha shinobi could betray their village like that.

The name on the scroll was a chunin he had been on several missions with after the war. He squashed down his conflicted feelings on the matter. The man had sealed his fate the moment he began slipping Orochimaru information.

"Choose your team and leave immediately."

"Of course, Lord Third." Kakashi politely bowed his head.

There would be no need for a team; he was more than capable of running this mission solo. His ninja hounds could easily track the chunin and he was capable of making the assassination on his own. The chances of a fight requiring backup were slim to none. The man had fled the moment his crime had been uncovered. There was no need for the others to have the blood of a comrade- turned-traitor on their hands. His hands were covered in so much blood already. What was one more?

He caught up with the chunin by midnight.

"They've sent Friend-Killer Kakashi after me, how fitting."

"You're no friend to Konoha."

The chirping of a thousand birds followed. The chunin slumped to the ground. The glassy eyes stared up at him. It was for Konoha. The man betrayed Konoha. Kakashi told himself over and over as he washed the blood from his hands in a nearby stream. He took care of the body and any traces of their fight. The shinobi would officially be declared missing-in-action and no one would ever know he was a traitor. It would decrease morale for the truth to come out.

Kakashi was home before dawn. The light was just creeping over the horizon as he darted across the rooftops to his apartment complex. He disabled the chakra wire and other traps he had left before slipping inside the window. He collapsed onto his bed, feeling a weariness that he shouldn't have from such a simple mission. He could run for longer lengths and fought more demanding battles. After some internal debate, he lazily removed his arm guards and gloves, dropping them to the ground. He couldn't be bothered with the rest of it, he slept in his uniform often enough.

Kakashi's hand grazed over the wet noses and soft fur of his hounds as they piled in bed with him. They normally did not spend the night. They had when he was a small child and craved the company, but that had happened less and less over the years. He cracked opened his eye and stared at them.

"You're dismissed."

He was met with a great amount of whining and protesting. Kakashi did not have the energy to argue with them.

"Fine," he sighed. His right hand was already scratching behind Akino's ears and the left was rubbing Bisuke's stomach. The others were competing for his attention, their noses bumping his hands towards them and jostling each other. His eyes flickered to the ceiling. "Just this once."

He fell into an uneasy sleep. He was used to the usual loop of nightmares. Obito's death. Rin's. The nine-tails attack. Ever since he became captain of Team Ro his nightmares featured a few new faces. Tenzo pinned underneath him, his mask aglow with the blue light of the chidori. Kotori falling to her knees after being sliced open.

They were safe, he reminded himself. He let out a heavy breath, forcing his racing heart to slow. For once, he was grateful for the memories the sharingan had captured. He could see a recent memory of Tenzo ducking his head, bashful at receiving a well deserved compliment. He could see a recent memory of Kotori perched in a tree, one of her chakra birds in hand as it tweeted at her. It was comforting that they were not part of his failures. Not yet, a voice nagged inside his brain. It was only a matter of time.

He had tried to keep his distance from all of them, but grudgingly began to care for them and even like them. He enjoyed trading barbs with Genma, teasing Tenzo about his lack of social skills and pondering the philosophical questions Itachi asked. He found himself seeking out Kotori's bright smiles. The thought of losing any of them now -

His heart stuck to the back of his throat. He couldn't lose any of them.

Kakashi rolled out of bed. The sun was up and he was unlikely to get much more sleep anyway. He spent the morning doing a short workout. It was technically his day off and he was supposed to be resting. He didn't do anything too strenuous, but he always felt better if he could do something.

Afterwards, he aimlessly strolled through the village. The four walls of his apartment felt suffocating when he had to spend any amount of time there beyond sleeping. He walked at a slow pace as he read Icha Icha Violence. It was the latest in Jiraiya's series.

"Look who decided to show his face."
He was not in the mood to entertain Genma's antics today. "What we can see of it, anyway."

It seemed that Genma had met up with Asuma and Kurenai at their usual hangout. His former classmates had been regulars at the Dango Shop since they were academy students. He had never liked sweet things, but had occasionally joined them in their youth. These days he lacked any desire to join them.

Kurenai warmly smiled at him. "Come, join us. We haven't seen you in months!"

"I've been busy," he evaded. "And I have a few things to take care of today."

Genma grinned at him. "That's fine, I was just about to tell everyone how you nearly lost to a girl."

Kakashi shrugged, giving off his usual air of indifference. "Don't be sexist, Genma. Gender does not determine the outcome of a sparring match."

Genma glanced nervously towards Kurenai who had crossed her arms and narrowed her eyes. Kakashi was almost tempted to see how Genma would maneuver around this one. Implying that a kunoichi was weaker was a sure way to get stabbed. Kurenai could get very creative with genjutsu if she was properly motivated.

"That's not - her gender is only relevant because Kakashi has a soft spot for her!"

Now this he couldn't let stand. He was growing tired of Genma insinuating that he had feelings for Kotori. He did not. The only reason she had come close to beating him was because she fought dirty. She used his hesitation to seriously injure a comrade against him and had faked tears for him to lower his guard. He had noticed at the last possible second that her shoulders were shaking with laughter rather than sobs. He had pinned her arms behind her back in retaliation.

He sat down before his mind even registered the action. Kurenai's crimson eyes blinked owlishly at him. Asuma managed to catch the cigarette that was dangling from his mouth. Genma smirked as if he had been anticipating this.

"Kakashi is in love," Genma dramatically declared. He stretched his arms behind his head and leaned back on the chair, balancing it on the hind two legs. Kakashi resisted the urge to kick it out from underneath him. Knowing his luck, Genma would choke to death on the senbon.

"Oh my." Kurenai hid a giggle behind her hands.

"I am not."

"Kakashi is also in denial," Genma continued.

He rolled his eyes skyward. Why did he bother. He should let them think what they wanted. Everyone had their own opinions of him anyway. Except, he really did not want this getting back to Kotori. That would make things uncomfortable. She was his subordinate and a valued comrade. She would start behaving differently and reading into every interaction between them. And knowing Genma, it definitely would.

Then another terrifying thought set in. What if this reached the ears of an enemy? There were plenty who would want to use someone perceived as a loved one to hurt him. It was risky enough having a team who could be used as hostage -

His morbid thoughts were interrupted by Kurenai. "We need more details, Genma. Who is she? How long has this been going on?"

Asuma looked thoughtful. "Is this the ANBU with the bird mask?"

"It's the hawk mask," Kakashi offhandedly corrected.

"Right," Asuma slowly said, as if speaking to a child. Kakashi resented that, he had been able to handle the complexities of adult thinking since toddlerhood. "So the same ANBU who got sliced open saving your ass?"

"That's classified."

Asuma nodded, a smug smile on his face as flipped open his lighter. "I see."

Kurenai looked worried. "Is she okay now?"

"Full recovery," Genma said. A shit-eating grin erupted across his face. "Kakashi left his dogs to guard her the entire time."

"There was an issue with administration." He would have done it for anyone on the team. Except Genma who was getting on his last nerve right now.

Kurenai put her hand on top of his. "Oh, Kakashi. Love is a wonderful thing, you deserve to - "

He removed his hand. He couldn't look at Kurenai. "I have somewhere to be."

He didn't have anywhere to be.

So he visited the Memorial Stone, completed his errands, mended his uniform and repacked his mission pack. Exhausting the list of chores, he found himself stretched out on the couch in his apartment, attempting to distract his wayward thoughts by burying his nose in the familiar pages of Icha Icha. With things calming down in the years after the nine-tails attack, it was unnecessary to have ANBU running back to back missions. The commander made sure to schedule them time in the village. It was a way to allow them to decompress while also having ANBU on hand in the event of an emergency. Most of this time was dedicated to training, but Kakashi made sure to give his team a day or two to unwind and attend to personal matters. Usually he found a short solo mission to keep himself occupied. Sometimes Tenzo would accompany him. The teen also struggled with how to fill his downtime, although for entirely different reasons.

Kakashi must have read the same paragraph three times now. The aching breakup between the male lead and his romantic interest in an effort to protect her. It would be a painful few chapters of mutual pining before getting back together in the third act. Jiraiya had a surprising way of evoking emotion and weaving a plot around the erotic scenes the books were well known for.

Kakashi had found the books in his adolescence as a method of escapism. Romance was a light hearted departure from the horror tragedy that was his life. The books allowed him to explore feelings that he would never permit himself to have. Now the words fell flat as he read them.

Kakashi sighed as his eyes flickered up to the ceiling.

"Boss?" Pakkun sat on his chest, peering down at him. Kakashi was surprised he had stuck around. He thought that Pakkun had disappeared with the rest of the pack that morning.

"Hm?"

"Scratch my head."

Kakashi stared at the pug.

"I've switched shampoo," Pakkun explained. "My fur is nice and soft. Pet it."

He scratched behind Pakkun's ears. The pug was right, his fur was softer. Kakashi let out a deep sigh as he continued to pet Pakkun, the weight on his chest somehow lessened despite the summon getting comfortable.

Later that evening, he found himself aimlessly wandering around the village again. It seemed that Gai was off on a mission. Usually the other ninja would have pounced on him by now and demanded a challenge. Not that Kakashi cared either way, but his absence was strange. He caught sight of Kotori out with her two friends, Uchiha and Yamanaka. The three of them were laughing about something. His feet took on a mind of their own as they angled themselves towards her. He awkwardly diverted his course towards a market stall that was closing up shop for the night. Feeling the annoyed glance of the proprietor, Kakashi browsed the fruit still on display as if he intended to do that all along.

It was her day off. She was with her friends. He should leave her alone.

She seemed to notice she was being watched as her eyes flickered around. He could see the tension in her body by the way she held herself. She relaxed when she caught his eye. She gave a cheeky wink and the briefest of smiles to him. Outside of ANBU he had no real reason to know her nor did he want to give away her identity or connection to him. He shoved his hands in his pockets as he walked away from the market stall.

"I have an early mission," he overheard her tell her friends. That was a lie. "I should head home."

"Lame," scoffed Uchiha.

"It's not like you have a curfew, who's going to know if you stay out a little longer?" Yamanaka goaded.

Her lips quirked upwards in an amused little smirk. "My captain is a hard ass. He'll know."

Kotori waved goodbye to her friends and left. Or rather, her clone waved goodbye to her friends and left. Kakashi could sense her presence behind him. She was good enough at concealment techniques that he knew she was purposely revealing herself to him. Once her friends were out of sight, he turned around to find her leaning against the wall in the alleyway. Her face was obscured by the shadows. He could still make out the arch of her eyebrow and the curious look on her face.

"Looking for me?"

"Not particularly," he said. He awkwardly scratched the back of his head. "You shouldn't let me keep you from having fun."

"Honestly? I'm exhausted," Kotori said. Her body slumped as if to prove her point. It was a habit most ANBU adopted. So much non-verbal communication was lost when they wore the masks that they greatly exaggerated their body language when they spoke with each other. Kakashi could always pick out who was an ANBU out of uniform. "I wanted to have an early night. You just make for a convenient excuse."

"Your friends must have the worst impression of me."

"Oh definitely," Kotori teased.

"Sometimes I pretend my birds are delivering a message from you to get out of things."

"Glad I can be of service," he deadpanned.

She crossed her arms, a serious expression flickered across her face. "So no mission?"

"Not tonight," he confirmed.

The serious expression remained she tilted her head and regarded him. He mused that she looked oddly birdlike when she did that. Her face softened as she stepped forward. "How's your day been, Kakashi?"

That caught him off guard. He gave a casual shrug. "Ah, you know."

She hummed a response before speaking again. "Have you had dinner yet? I was thinking of grabbing something before going home. You're welcome to join me, I could always use the company."

That was probably a white lie for his benefit, especially after she just parted ways with her friends.

Her hand reached out and lighting wrapped around his wrist. He was keenly aware of the exact point where her hand brushed against his and her fingers rested against his pulse. He resisted the instinct to grab her wrist and twist it behind her back. It wasn't often that someone was bold enough to touch him outside of sparring or healing. Gai was one of the few, but he always anticipated that grabbing Kakashi could mean a kunai was pulled.

"Come on then, there's a new sushi place I've been wanting to try."

He ought to make his excuses and leave. That's what he normally did. Sometimes he didn't even bother with an excuse, he just left mid conversation. Kotori deserved an excuse at least. She was always kind to him, even when he did not deserve it. Oh he could tease her and push her buttons and she would respond in turn. However he drew the line at being an actual asshole towards her. He respected her too much. How she had managed to survive ANBU this past year without losing that part of herself was admirable. So many of them became jaded and bitter over time. Everyone had a coping mechanism or three.

He had exhausted all of his for the day and still found no relief. He would be lying to himself if he didn't admit their interactions gave him a warm feeling. He wouldn't call it happy, but he found himself relaxing in her presence and smiling came more naturally. His frozen insides craved that warmth, that feeling. So as much as he ought to say no, he found himself saying, "Alright then."

Her eyes widened in pleasant surprise, as if she had doubts he would accept her invitation. She was smiling though as he let her drag him forward.