Kakashi waited at the front gate for Kotori. They had another undercover mission in the capital city. The Fire Daimyo had hired them to assassinate some noble who was visiting the capital for a festival. The plan was for them to stay at the same hotel, posing as a couple, and then for one of them to slip into the room during the middle of the night. If everything went well, it would be assumed that the man died from a heart attack.
Tenzo had decided to accompany him to the gate. Kakashi half paid attention to him, slouched against the wall as he read his book. He had been tempted to pull the codenames and backstories for their characters from it, however did not want to make it too obvious. There was always the chance that they could run into a fellow fan. He tried not to snicker at the thought of the uptight feudal lords admitting they read Icha Icha Paradise.
"This is your, what, seventh undercover mission together?"
"Sixth," Kakashi absentmindedly corrected him.
"You're keeping track of your fake dates?!" Tenzo sounded exasperated with him.
"Of course, I have to write the mission reports."
"You're enjoying this too much, Senpai," Tenzo dryly said. There was a sly grin on his face. Kakashi did not like that look. Who had been corrupting his innocent little kouhai? "If you like Kotori-san so much, then why don't you ask her on a real date?"
Kakashi snapped the book closed. "Because I don't. This is purely professional."
Hatake Kakashi was a smart man. There was only so much denying, deflecting and dodging he could do before he was forced to face the terrifying truth. He was attached to her. He was affectionate towards her. He was attracted to her. His feelings towards Kotori went well past comrades or even friends.
And if he was reading her right, those feelings weren't exactly one-sided. Tenzo gave him a searching look. "Does she know that?"
"Of course she does."
"Don't play with her feelings then. We've all noticed the way she looks at you."
Kakashi felt like a piece of trash in that moment. Tenzo was right. It was cruel to lead her on when he knew he would never act on whatever was between them. These missions had been a fun indulgence. A hint of a life he could not allow himself to have.
When he was younger he assumed that at some point he would pick a wife and have two children like a good shinobi. There were expectations for him to carry on the Hatake legacy. Then he stopped caring if he lived into adulthood. Somehow he had managed to survive to the age of twenty-one.
Kakashi knew that allowing himself to love someone was akin to putting a giant target on their back. His mother had been murdered in an act of revenge against his father. The details had been kept from him for years, until Jiraiya finally told him the truth as a teen. Kakashi couldn't remember her even if he tried. Her absence explained some of his father's moods as a child. Jiraiya believed that part of Sakumo died with her that day.
Children were completely out of the question for the same reason. The bond a parent felt for their child frightened him. He remembered Rin's stoic father, a shinobi as hard as any, collapse to his knees in tears when Kakashi and Minato informed him of Rin's death. He remembered her mother sobbing in the cemetery every day until her health rapidly declined and she joined Rin.
Did he want to open himself up to the possibility of that sort of heartbreak?
The cold, logical part of him said no. He couldn't afford to open himself up to such a weakness. He couldn't get lost in his selfish desires. He had nothing to lose and no one to lose. It was what made him so efficient as a shinobi.
Unfortunately emotions did not listen to logic.
"It's against the rules," he slowly said. The closest he could come to a confession.
"Hm," Tenzo thoughtfully hummed. He crossed his arms. "You've never struck me as someone hung up on the rules."
He wondered what Obito would have to say to that if he were still alive. Obito, who had declared him a piece of scum for putting the mission before his friends. Kakashi ruefully smiled behind the mask. Obito had never put much thought to the shinobi rules. He probably would have said something stupid and heartfelt about never giving up on true love.
His heart squeezed painfully at the reminder of his lost friend. He had failed everyone who ever mattered to him. Obito. Rin. Minato. He knew, without a doubt, that he would fail her too. It was only a matter of time.
"She's my subordinate."
Tenzo shrugged. "The Commander married his subordinate. There seems to be a precedent for exceptions."
The ANBU Commander also happened to be Lord Third's eldest son. Not that Kakashi would ever say it out loud, but there was a difference in their situations. The Hokage had no investment in Kakashi beyond his use as a weapon for Konoha. Kakashi's cold and pragmatic side made him a useful weapon. Anything that threatened that - even something like love - was a risk. Kakashi would have to prove he was willing to put Konoha and the mission above his relationship. Something that went against his very core.
Even if they were allowed the relationship, the Hokage would probably reassign Kotori to another ANBU team which was not an option. If he was going to allow himself to act on these feelings, he needed to ensure he could protect her.
"I'd rather keep her on the team." He was not seriously considering this.
"Good thing the rest of us agree on that," Tenzo said. "Genma-san and Yugao-san have prepared an argument for Lord Third if it comes down to it and I'll be the first to say I encouraged it."
He needed to find a new genre of book to read. All of these erotic romance novels were filling his head with nonsense. Kakashi wished he could flip to the last page and confirm that their story would have a happy ending. However he knew better than to hope. The were no happy endings in the shinobi world.
"She'll get killed," he finally said. His shoulders slumping in defeat. "I've made too many enemies."
"Senpai - "
However whatever argument Tenzo wanted to make would have to wait. Their conversation was cut short as Kotori approached them. She gave a jaunty wave and a cheerful smile.
"Hey! Sorry to keep you waiting. Tenzo, are you coming too?"
"Not this time," he said. "I'm just seeing you off. Think about it, Senpai."
Kotori glanced curiously at Tenzo's retreating back, however she did not question his parting words. Kakashi slipped his book inside his vest pocket. He closed his eye in what he knew would look like a convincing smile. "Well then, let's get going."
It was half a day's journey to the capital city at a shinobi's pace. They reached it by late afternoon and were ushered inside the palace by the guards to meet the Fire Daimyo. Kakashi had never personally met with him before, however he had heard many things about the man. Including his fickle nature. He never thought that he would experience it first hand.
"This is a little awkward," the Fire Daimyo said as he and Kotori knelt before him. "I'm sorry I have troubled you to come all this way. However your services are no longer needed."
Kakashi watched Kotori in his peripheral vision. Her face remained neutral.
"You see we have come to an agreement, his son is to wed my niece. Bringing our two families together as a united front will provide for better stability in our country."
Kakashi blinked. One week ago the Fire Daimyo wanted this noble dead and now they were planning a wedding.
"I am happy to pay for your services even if they are no longer required," the Daimyo said. "You're both invited to attend dinner tonight as an apology. I'm always delighted to have Konoha's lovely Little Bird in my court. However, where is your usual partner?"
"He's unavailable, my Lord," she smoothly said. "Otherwise he would have come."
"Give my best to Genma-san," the Fire Daimyo said. "And who is his replacement?"
ANBU rarely showed their identities to a client never mind gave their true names. Standing before him in the standard Konoha flak jackets made him feel exposed already. Kakashi preferred to slip in, complete the assassination, and slip out without anyone knowing he was ever there. Or at the very least, he would go disguised and under a different name. However, this was their feudal lord and they could hardly refuse him.
"Hatake Kakashi," He said in a flat tone. Kakashi hid his annoyance under the cold, aloof act that was second nature to him. In fact, he had fooled everyone into believing it was his only nature. The Fire Daimyo would expect it of him.
"Really?" The Daimyo looked intrigued. "Sharingan no Kakashi , it is a pleasure!"
After a few more minutes of banal chitchat, they were shown to their rooms by one of the servants.
Kakashi glanced around the accommodations. It was a suite with two bedrooms that shared a common area and bathroom. Kakashi knew it was often used to host parties from Konoha, although it was the first time he had been here. Well, the first time he had stayed at Fire Daimyo's palace.
"He often does this," Kotori quietly explained. "Genma and I think he likes to flex about being able to hire elite shinobi. Or he'll get into spats with minor nobles and then call it off when we get here. I think the guilt gets to him. He always pays for the mission he hired and he is generous about showing us around."
What an absolute waste of Konoha's resources. Unfortunately they needed to remain on good terms with the Daimyo. His patronage was needed to keep Konoha running. It would be a blow to their village if the Daimyo started using shinobi from another village. Kakashi could tolerate an evening spent ensuring Konoha left a good impression. It helped that people were curious when they heard his name. His reputation preceded him.
Well, at least he had good company for the mission. He would have preferred the dinner reservations he had booked for them though. He had an entire evening planned to help their cover and now it would go to waste. Perhaps Tenzo was right, he was being selfish with planning these missions.
"Haven't you been on several of these missions?"
"Yes, and we always include the details in the mission reports. Do you not read them?" Kotori innocently replied.
"I don't have time to read every successful assassination you complete." Perhaps he should do occasional spot checks. He only read them if something went wrong. Something about the spark in her eye and the smirk that was threatening to dance across her face made him suspicious.
"That's a shame. Yugao and I have been filling them with innuendos for months. I was a bit disappointed you filled out the Hot Water country one. I don't get into as many sword fights and with one that large, you know he's overcompensating."
He definitely needed to spot check and possibly ask Kotori and Yugao to rewrite them. He could only imagine if someone from the Hokage office actually read them. And he had been signing off on them for months.
Oh well, everyone in Konoha already thought he was pervert. "Overcompensating how?" He lifted his eyebrow.
Kotori gave a bland smile as if they were talking about the weather. "Clearly overcompensating for his terrible ninjutsu skills."
Kakashi crossed his arms and closed his eye, knowing he looked serious in that moment. Kotori couldn't see the smile behind the mask. Two could play at this game. "Generally kenjutsu users think they can just swing their sword around and lack the finesse needed to truly excel. Ninjutsu users are often more successful in battle because we're quicker with our hands and have a variety of techniques."
She covered her mouth as she giggled. Her nose scrunched and he thought she looked adorable.
"Thank you for sharing that, Kakashi."
He put his hands in his pockets and gave a little shrug.
The pair of them dressed for dinner. He adjusted the black kimono he brought with him over his mesh shirt. He wore the undershirt with the mask underneath as well. After a brief hesitation, he removed the forehead protector. He knew it would be expected of him to appear as himself this evening. As much as that went against his entire being.
The door to Kotori's room opened and she finally emerged. She looked radiant.
She was wearing a pale blue kimono with a pattern of light grey birds. Her hair was artfully twisted back and held in place with a kanzashi. Her bangs swept across her forehead with a few wisps of hair framing her face. She had taken the time to apply her makeup and her skin seemed to glow. He couldn't tell if it was a result of the makeup or the soft smile on her face.
He was rendered speechless before he cleared his throat. "You look nice."
She adverted her eyes, however looked pleased at the compliment. A lovely blush appeared on her cheeks. "Thank you."
She accepted the arm he held out, curling her hand around his bicep. An evening politicking with the Fire Daimyo's court was not something he was keen on. Most were content to goggle him, Sharingan no Kakashi , and accepted his silence as a typical shinobi. Kotori did not escape so easily. There were different societal expectations on kunoichi. Fortunately, Kotori had been through this song and dance a few times and was able to navigate through enough conversation to still be considered polite.
Kakashi entertained himself by timing quick bites of food when people were not focussed on him. The sharingan predicated when someone was about to glance his way and his lightning fast reflexes had the mask in place every time. It got more difficult the longer he played this game and the more interest was peaked. Even the Fire Daimyo was being blatant with his staring. Eventually Kakashi cast a simple genjutsu so that he could eat in peace. To everyone, it would appear as though he was eating when they blinked. Out of the corner of his normal eye, he saw Kotori's lips twitch, but she schooled her expression and took a careful sip of her drink.
After dinner, they were led to another room for entertainment and more socializing. Kakashi's eye twitched a little as he was caught in a conversation with some older woman who bred the
best pugs. Kakashi privately thought that Pakkun would disagree. Kakashi glanced over where Kotori had a strained smile as she nodded along with some older man who kept droning on about his latest novel.
There was relief in her eyes as he whisked her away in the pretence of needing to do a perimeter check. Most of the guests seemed to assume they were there for their protection. Perhaps regularly having guests from Konoha had dulled their suspicions that anything was afoot. It would be useful in the future.
They stepped out onto the terrace overlooking one of the Fire Daimyo's many gardens. They were blissfully alone.
"I bet his novel doesn't have a single erotic scene." He closed his eyes and folded his arms, pretending to be disappointed. He was rewarded with a small giggle.
"I would hope not, he's the royal biographer."
It would probably be considered treasonous, or at the very least rude, to make a joke about the Fire Daimyo's sex life. How the man managed to have five children with three different wives was a mystery to him. Wealth and power seemed to make up for a poor personality and unattractive appearance. He lifted his arms in a shrug. "Not something I would read then."
"I don't think an erotic scene would improve the book anyway." Kotori rested her hands on the railing and closed her eyes, a serene expression on her face. "It's so beautiful here."
The Fire Daimyo's gardens were renown throughout the country. The gardens were rumoured to have been a gift from Senju Hashirama himself. Not that Kakashi was paying much attention to flowers when he could focus solely on the beauty next to him. Kakashi plucked a white gardenia from a nearby shrub and placed it in Kotori's hair. His hand lingered a bit too long. Her fingers brushed the petals of the flower. Her eyebrow quirked upwards, however she didn't speak.
His hand rested on the railing next to hers, as close as physically possible without touching. He could feel the warmth of her hand and the temptation to reach out grew. It was such a simple movement; he could reach out and lock his pinky together with his. He could lift his hand and cover hers entirely. He could interlock their fingers together.
She lifted her hands from the railing and he knew the moment had passed. He was too late.
Kakashi shoved his hands in his pockets. Perhaps that was for the best. It had been a foolish fantasy anyway. He would be reassigning these undercover missions to Genma moving forward.