Kotori didn't know what she had done to offend Kakashi.
Ever since they had gotten back from the capital city, he had been noticeably cold towards her. It was like the Kakashi she had met when she first joined Team Ro. He stopped assigning them missions together, he stopped sparring with her, he stopped talking to her in public. He could barely look her in the eye. Hell, he even stopped referring to her by her name. The rare time he addressed her, it was always as Hawk.
She had racked her brain for what could have possibly happened, overanalyzing their every interaction from that mission. He had been quieter on the way back to Konoha the next day. However he had seemed normal the evening before, happy even. He had even been affectionate with her. She had tried not to read into their interactions on these undercover missions too much. However, she couldn't deny that there was something there. Most of these missions didn't require him nor the elaborate undercover stories he came up with. Kakashi seemed to take any opportunity for the pair of them to go undercover as lovers.
She remembered the tender moment they had shared when he arranged a flower in her hair. Gardenias. Kotori thought it stood for a secret love at the time, had wondered if perhaps he was trying to confess his own feelings. Her heart had just about bust from giddiness and excitement when his hand brushed against her hair on the balcony at the Fire Daimyo's palace. They weren't undercover at that moment and there was no reason for him to be affectionate unless he wanted to be. The flower had been carefully preserved and placed in a storage scroll when she was alone that night. Kotori had thought it would signify a shift in their relationship. She just didn't expect the shift to be for the worse. Pouring over Hanakotoba books in the weeks since revealed a second meaning. Unrequited love. It was possible it was his way of letting her know her feelings were one-sided.
He could have left it there. He didn't have to be such a jerk. Apparently it was not enough for Kakashi to politely reject her feelings. Oh no, he had to completely grind them under his heel until there was nothing left but dust.
Kotori had ceremoniously set fire to the gardenia. She wished she could say it made her feel better, but it didn't.
And now she was stuck on her first mission with him in over two months. It was wearing on her nerves. He had only interacted with her to give her orders and a brief moment when he had harshly grabbed her by the shoulder to pull her out of the way of a trap. It didn't help that she was more distracted than usual. She went from longing to talk and joke as they once did to being annoyed by his very presence.
Tenzo seemed to notice the underlying tension. He had taken it upon himself to try and carry the conversation between the three of them.
The trio had completed the mission and were on route back to Konoha. They were all on guard, however a little less on edge now that they had crossed the border into the Land of Fire. The mission was a success and there were no major injuries. Normally that would have everyone in a good mood. Kotori couldn't help but wonder if her presence on this mission was what had Kakashi so tense. She had hoped that whatever was going on wouldn't affect their missions, but had no idea how to fix this. She had attempted to track him down prior to this mission and talk to him more than once, only to discover that he had vanished or taken off on another mission. Not even her birds could find him, which made her wonder if he had been purposely avoiding them or killing them.
The offer she received from another ANBU captain to join his squad had never looked so tempting. She liked her team, she really did. It was just hard to be part of the team while her emotions were so raw. She had this need to be both as close and as far away from Kakashi as she could get. She looked for him every time their team was assembled and felt the ache when he ignored her presence. It was pathetic of her. She shouldn't be so hung up over a guy and she shouldn't let rejection run her off a team.
Life was so much easier when she was on a team of kunoichi.
Tenzo's voice cut into her thoughts. "We should do another night out soon. We haven't had one in ages."
Kakashi made a noncommittal noise.
"Hawk, don't you usually organize those?" Tenzo tried again.
"I haven't had a lot of time," she replied in a flat tone.
"You two really aren't giving me much to work with here," he groused. "We should do something, none of us had the chance to get to know Raccoon yet."
Oh yes, Racoon. Itachi had left their team when he had been made an ANBU captain several months ago. Lord Third had just gotten around to finding a replacement for Team Ro. Kotori felt a touch of annoyance. She didn't like being jealous of another woman. She wanted to be welcoming and supportive. Yamanaka Ayumu managed to combine her family's secret clan techniques with genjutsu to make for some interesting interrogation tactics. However she needed to be trained in standard ANBU formations and her hand-to-hand combat skills left much to be desired. Meaning that Kakashi was spending a lot of one on one time with her. Kotori tried to push out the bitter feeling that she had been replaced. They were all teammates and Ayumu needed the training.
She should really organize something. It would help to give Ayumu a chance to know everyone. Plus it wouldn't be a bad thing to see everyone outside of work. If she were to take the transfer, she would rarely see any of them. "Maybe tomorrow if everyone's in the village."
Tenzo seemed content with her answer. "We'll have the day off, Raccoon, Bear and Gecko should be on standby. Cat and Owl were expected to arrive this morning from their mission. What do you say, Senpai?"
"Do as you will."
"Oh no, you're coming. Hawk, a little help here. What do you always say about team bonding?"
"I'm sure you've all heard it enough over the years."
The conversation rapidly fell apart after that. Tenzo tried a few over lighter topics, with about as much success as a cat trying to fly.
They were about three hours away from Konoha when Kakashi signalled for them to take a break. The sun had started to sink behind the trees, directly in their line of view. Kotori was grateful that they would wait until the sun finished setting before continuing. Having to squint while running through the trees was not ideal.
Kakashi wandered off to do a perimeter check, leaving Kotori and Tenzo behind. She didn't bother to tell him that she had already scouted the area with her birds. It was a relief to be given a reprieve of the thick cloud of tension that had engulfed their party for the past week. She finally felt like she could breathe.
Kotori crossed her legs as she sat down on the ground under one of the trees. She took a small sip of water from her canteen. She blinked open her eyes as she heard Tenzo sit down beside her.
"You've been quiet. Something on your mind?"
"I don't have much to say." She ripped up the blades of grass next to her, tearing them into small threads. Tenzo remained perfectly still, the tiger mask hiding any facial reaction. His head was tilted to the side and she knew he was searching her body language for something. He clearly did not believe her.
She kept silent, forcing him to once again speak when he realized she had no intention of continuing the conversation.
"I will respect your right to privacy then. However, it is apparent that you haven't been yourself lately."
She couldn't help but roll her eyes behind her mask. She felt a little called out. "Don't worry about me."
He gave a little shrug. "Worrying about friends is just human nature."
It was news that he considered her a friend. While she was quick to refer to everyone on Team Ro as her friends, Kotori knew that friendship was often hard earned in the shinobi world. People often had a small cluster of friends and family and were slow to truly let in anyone else. Kotori could not recall a single conversation with Tenzo outside of missions or training. She had tried, but he had always seemed awkward about it and navigated the conversation back to work topics. She had always assumed he preferred to keep his personal and professional lives separate, much like Satoshi or Haruki.
She softened, a bit. Perhaps Tenzo was just awkward. "I'm sorry, I've been stuck in my head too much. Captain Ox approached me, wondering if I would accept a request to join his team."
"You want to leave?"
She was surprised that Tenzo sounded so alarmed. Teams were created and disbanded all of the time. People came and went. People were injured. People were promoted. People died. It was unusual that Team Ro had kept most of its original members and had not lost anyone to death or serious injury. Kotori privately thought it was through Kakashi's almost desperate determination to keep them all alive.
"Should I?"
Tenzo probably had more of an insight into Kakashi's mind then anyone on the team. She trusted he would be honest with her if he thought she should leave.
"That's your decision to make, although if I may give my thoughts?"
She gestured for him to go ahead, curious what he would say.
"You track record for both solo and group assignments is impressive. Only three failed missions and one injury requiring hospitalization since you joined. You're respected and trusted by your peers. While I still wouldn't classify you as combat, you've shown steady improvement in that area. Other captains have taken notice of you, that's true. However, you can be picky about what team you accept. You'd be hard pressed to find a better captain than Hound or a team that compliments you as well as ours. There's no need for you to leave. Besides," Tenzo said, the next words sounding careful and measured. "There's not a single person on this team who wouldn't be sad to see you go."
She was glad that the hawk mask was covering her face because she knew she was blushing furiously. She could just feel the heat in her cheeks. It was rare to have your skills assessed and praised like that. Often, one only heard of their failures in this role. Or saw their failures as a mission imploded and they endangered themselves, their comrades or the mission. "You don't have to be nice."
"I have no reason to lie to you," Tenzo said. "As for Ox, this will stay between us?"
"Of course."
"I wouldn't, if I were you. Ox uses kunoichi as bait. He has an opening because the last girl on his team ended up killed when the mission went sideways and they couldn't get her back in time. It's a pattern, but the council approves because he gets results. For all of Hound's flaws, he's not cavalier about your life. If you were sincere about wanting a reassignment, there are teams that would be willing to trade for you."
Kotori had a sense she knew where this was heading. She felt tricked, almost as if Tenzo knew the cause of her sudden desire to leave and wanted to probe a little.
"You would just have to talk to Hound first."
She hated being right. Kotori couldn't help the bitter remark that followed. "Yeah, that's not going to happen."
"Probably not," Tenzo agreed. He sounded amused. "I did tell you that you would be hard pressed to find a team that complimented you as well as ours. I'm not sure your reasons for considering this, but Hound wouldn't let you go without a fight."
Talking with Tenzo only left her more confused. However, he didn't seem to think Kakashi wanted her off the team. On the contrary, she would have to convince him why her leaving was for the best and that was not a conversation she was keen on having.
Kakashi reappeared shortly after that, silently signalling that it was time to leave. Kotori followed after Kakashi with Tenzo bringing up the rear. She didn't quite have the same speed they did and knew they were allowing her to set the pace by keeping her in the middle.
Chika dee dee dee
Kotori paused as she heard the familiar cry. Kakashi and Tenzo both stopped, hearing it too. Both were poised to fend off an incoming attack. It usually meant danger or someone was trying to contact her. She held her hands in the bird seal as she tried to find the bird that was alerting her. In her mind's eye, she could see Sayuri crouched in front of the bird. Her eyes were wide and fearful.
"- hope you understand. I tried to stop it. If I wasn't so weak and useless, Itachi - "
Kotori screamed as a blade was plunged into Sayuri from behind. The tip of it poking through her chest, covered in blood. She could see the life drain from her best friend's eyes, the surprise etched onto her face. The tanto was pulled out just as rapidly and Sayuri slumped to the ground, blood pooling around her. She could feel Kakashi shaking her, asking her what was happening. She held onto the connection to see her friend's murderer. Only to find Uchiha Itachi standing there, a strange sharingan activated as he mechanically cleaned the blood off the blade. His eye lifted, making contact with her. He threw a shuriken at the chakra bird, forcing Kotori to break the connection.
"- back to me."
When she came to, she realized she was on the ground and Kakashi was kneeling in front of her. He looked a bit shaken and Kotori realized he had taken off the hound mask. She must have fallen from the trees. Kakashi or Tenzo had probably caught her as she didn't feel sore. Kakashi's hands were firmly holding her shoulders while Tenzo was hovering over them, keeping guard. Kotori looked into his mismatched eyes and while the grey one seemed concerned, the red sharingan gave off an eerie glow. She felt a chill go down her spine.
It was too much. It was too much like - she squeezed her eyes shut. It was too much like Sayuri. Too much like Itachi.
She covered her mouth as she started hyperventilating. She needed to keep her composure. She needed to tell Kakashi what she had saw, even if she couldn't make sense of it. But the more she tried to calm down, the more she found she couldn't get the words out - couldn't breath - Sayuri was - she had seen the blade - but it couldn't be - Itachi wouldn't -
"Kotori? Kotori!" Kakashi tried to get her attention. "Breath with me. In… and out.."
His smooth baritone cut through her frantic thoughts, anchoring her as he gently coached her through the simple task of breathing. As her breathing levelled and her tears subsided, Kakashi squeezed her shoulders before letting go.
"What did you see?"
"Uchiha Sayuri - " Kotori adverted her eyes, not wanting to see Kakashi's worried expression. "My friend - She was - she was trying to tell me something. But then Itachi killed her."
Kakashi's eyes widened for a split second. Already she could hear his mind at work. "Itachi? Why?"
"I don't know, she said 'hope you understand. I tried to stop it.' Then she mentioned Itachi, but he killed her before she could say anything else."
It didn't escape her notice that Kakashi and Tenzo exchanged a glance. "We need to get back to Konoha. Can you send a message to Lord Third about what you saw? Someone should check on the Uchiha compound."
"Yes, just give me a moment." Sending a message, especially across a large distance, took a lot of chakra and focus.
"Concentrate on getting the message, I'll get us back," Kakashi said. He slid the tanto out of its holder on his back and handed it over to Tenzo. Then he spun around so that she could hop onto his back. His arms caught her legs, holding them securely as he took to the trees once more.
She wrapped her arms around his neck and formed the bird seal. Her head slumped forward as she found one of her birds and directed it towards the Hokage Tower. She urgently tapped on one of the windows, noticing that the Hokage was with the elder members of the council. She hoped she wouldn't get in trouble for interrupting an important meeting. Her bird flew through an opening and started chirping. All of them went silent. Danzo lifted a kunai, prepared to kill the bird.
She circled the room before landing on the desk in front of the Hokage. The Hokage lifted his hand to indicate that it was alright. "Hawk? Report."
Her bird dipped its talon into a well of ink and started writing on a blank scroll in front of the Hokage. It felt long and painfully slow as she made each stroke. She rarely had to control her birds this long or with this much precision however she pushed herself to get the message out.
There's an issue in the Uchiha compound. Itachi killed Uchiha Sayuri before details could be given. Team Ro one hour out from Konoha.
Lord Third looked grimly at the message and then nodded. "I'll dispatch an ANBU team to investigate. You're dismissed."
She blinked, returning to her body. Her forehead was leaning against Kakashi's back as he dashed through the trees. From the sounds of it, Tenzo was close behind. She tapped Kakashi's shoulder, indicating that she was back. She made movement to try and untangle herself, however Kakashi's arms tightened against her legs, preventing her from getting down.
"It's fine," he quietly said. "I've got you."
Without the urgency of getting the message, without the urgency of rushing home - oh gods, Sayuri. Her mind kept replaying that terrible moment. She couldn't believe it. She didn't want to believe it.
Kotori squeezed her eyes shut behind the hawk mask, grateful for the privacy it allowed. The porcelain forehead of her mask was resting against Kakashi's neck and she was sure the beck was poking him. He didn't say anything. Nor did he mention the fact that she was probably soaking the back of his shirt with her tears or making it difficult to carry her from the quivering of her shoulders. He didn't say anything, but he did squeeze her leg in a gesture of sympathy.
"Thank you," she whispered as she tried to compose herself.
Chika dee dee dee
She could feel Kakashi's shoulders stiffen under her arms. Shakily, she formed the bird seal for the second time that evening. This time it was Yugao crouched down next to it. "Itachi went rogue and slaughtered his entire clan. We think he left the village. Be on the lookout."
She felt numb as she returned to her body. "Cat says Itachi went rogue. He killed everyone in the Uchiha clan and fled Konoha."
She could feel the tension in Kakashi's body as he nodded. His voice was steely as he said, "Try and track him down. I'll take us straight to the Uchiha compound."
She tried, darting from bird to bird throughout Konoha and the surrounding area. None of her birds were located anywhere near the Uchiha compound and Itachi was too familiar with her jutsu to leave any alive. She was starting to feel sluggish and the drain of overusing her jutsu by the time they made it back. The early warnings of chakra exhaustion creeped in and she returned to her body. Kakashi would have to use his ninken.
Kakashi set her down once they arrived on scene. Her legs almost wobbled beneath her. She pushed past the fatigue, carefully hiding it as she followed Kakashi and Tenzo at a brisk pace. The rest of Team Ro were amongst the ANBU that were clearing the compound. They were quickly filled in by the ANBU Commander, Monkey, who was leading the investigation. Kotori only half paid attention, her eyes taking in the chaotic scene around them.
Kotori had seen a lot of disturbing sights in her life. She had seen the worst of the third shinobi war and had seen her home go up in smoke as they tried to contain the nine tails fox. Fortunately she hadn't been able to help with the cleanup afterwards. Kotori didn't think she would have been able to handle it. She gazed around the Uchiha compound, horror creeping in. Bodies had been hauled out and lined in the middle of the streets. Kotori rushed forward, scanning the faces. Her heart sank further as she saw more and more people she recognized, Sayuri's parents, her younger brother, her elderly neighbour, the pair of shinobi on the police force, the clan leader and his wife, the teahouse owner -
She dropped to her knees next to Sayuri. Someone had closed her eyelids and she looked like she could have been peacefully sleeping. If not for the bloody wound in the middle of her chest. Kotori tore off the hawk mask as she bowed her head.
"Hawk - " there was hesitation in Kakashi's voice as he knelt next to her. She felt him squeeze her shoulder. Then the authoritative voice came back. "I'm sending you home. You're not needed here."
She opened her mouth to say something, but her brain couldn't even formulate a thought and the protest stuck to the back of her throat.
There was another familiar voice behind her. Someone was grabbing her by the back of her uniform and hauling her to her feet.
"Get up," came a gruff, but familiar, voice. "I'll take it from here, Captain Hound."
Ensui she belatedly realized. He grabbed her in a hug, letting her cling to him and cry all over him. He was the only thing keeping her from finally collapsing in that moment.
He rested his chin on the top of her head as he held her up. "It's okay. Let it out."