Kotori stared at Kakashi from her peripheral vision. He seemed just as perplexed by her presence in the Hokage's office as she was by his. Not that his posture would ever give it away. The ever present bored expression, hands in pockets, back sloped in a casual slouch. She just knew him. She could feel the frown as his lone eye darted towards the side of her face, arriving at the inevitable conclusion that she had.
The Hokage had a mission for them. Just great.
"From what I've read of your files you're acquainted with each other?" Tsunade asked.
There was a spark of amusement in her brown eyes that Kotori did not trust. The Hokage did not normally care whether or not shinobi were acquainted before throwing them on missions together. Kotori wondered just how much of their files Tsunade had bothered to read. There was a reason exes were not supposed to take missions together. More often than not… the mission imploded into petty grievances.
Tsunade outlined their mission objectives; there was a pair of powerful rogue shinobi causing problems in the Land of Snow and they had requested Konoha's help. They met enough of the profile for potential Akatsuki members that Tsunade wanted to send two jonin to take care of them. She also wanted to use the opportunity for Kotori's birds to be left behind in case any other Akatsuki members came to investigate their missing comrades. Kotori had never been to the Land of Snow before so it was a new area for her. Kotori had her doubts about her chakra bird network stretching so far. It was really testing the boundaries of her jutsu. The Land of Snow was far, at least two weeks away by foot. They would have to travel to the northwestern outpost in the Land of Fire before crossing into the Land of Rivers and then journeying north through the Land of Earth. At least Raiden would be able to speed things along, taking them as far as the Rivers-Earth border. They would have to go by foot the rest of the journey as the Sorano had caused too many problems for Iwa during the Third War. Flying a ninja hawk over their country was just asking for trouble.
She would be spending three, maybe four weeks total with Kakashi. That was a long time considering she could barely spend five minutes in his presence before making excuses and rushing off. Things had been awkward in the months since Kakashi had woken from his coma. It was clear he wanted to talk to her, but Kotori didn't feel like having any more emotionally charged conversations with him. Especially not after her breakup with Aoba the month before. So she had pulled a leaf from Kakashi's very own playbook. Vanishing every time he came close or the conversation got a little too real. In more than one instance leaving behind a log or potted plant, hoping he'd get the hint to leave her alone. There would be no escape on a mission.
And don't get her started on the mission being in the Land of Snow. Kotori's clan were originally from the most southern part of the Land of Fire. Their home had been at the foot of the Karyu mountain range, close to a dormant volcano, before Hashirama had extended an offer for them to join the Hidden Village. The point being, the Sorano did not like the cold. Even generations later, Kotori was very much a summer person. The Land of Fire experienced mild winters with little to no snow. She had only ever seen the lightest dusting of snow in her life. Never mind an entire country named for it.
What had she done to deserve this?
"Is there a problem?" Tsunade sharply asked her.
"None."
"Good. I expect you to not let your history cloud your judgement on this mission."
Oh. She knew.
The Land of Snow was a miserable country.
It took all of her chakra control to keep herself from sinking into the snow or leaving tracks behind. Never mind circulating it in a way to keep her body warm. She had never been so far north before that she needed the white winter cloak Konoha issued to its shinobi. At least it provided some protection from the elements, keeping her dry despite the snow that whipped around in the wind. The wind and snow stung her face and she pulled the hood a little tighter. It obstructed her peripheral vision, but she had little choice in the matter. It was either that or close her eyes altogether. Even her chakra birds could barely make anything out. She shivered as she trudged behind Kakashi who seemed unaffected by the cold.
"We'll find shelter," Kakashi told her over the wind. "No sense continuing like this until it lets up."
Kotori hummed in agreement, grateful for the chance to warm up and wait out the storm.
Suddenly, Kakashi crashed into her, knocking both of them into a snowbank.
"What the - "
She saw the icy shard embedded in the snow where she had once been standing. She hadn't even noticed it coming towards her. Kotori internally berated herself. Her observation skills were her greatest strength, but she was so focused on the weather conditions that she missed an attack.
She scanned the surroundings, trying to make out their foe. While her eyesight wasn't as good as Kakashi's sharingan, she had excellent long distance vision as a result of her summoning contract with the hawks. She spotted movement in the distance. A pair of shinobi in white cloaks. They had forehead protectors with the Kiri emblem scratched out, indicating they were rogues.
"They're controlling the blizzard. The snow is filled with chakra," Kakashi said, lifting his headband up to reveal the sharingan. "I should have noticed it earlier."
"Some sort of bloodline then?" Kotori asked.
"Ice release. They must have fled the bloodline purge and took refuge here."
The Yuki clan were famous for their ice release, but had been killed off over the years as the civil war raged on in the Land of Water and the village turned on its kekkei genkai users out of fear.
"Think it's possible they joined up with the Akatsuki?"
"No," Kakashi said. "They're not wearing the robes for starters. Just regular winter ones. The Akatsuki are bold. They want people to recognize them. These two are in hiding."
She prepared herself for a battle, pulling back her lightning arrow.
"Kotori!" She heard Kakashi shout.
She saw the shard of ice coming for her, but before she could move out of the way, the world warped around the ice shard and it vanished into thin air.
Her head whipped towards Kakashi. He still had the headband lifted, his sharingan glowing an eerie red against the otherwise saturated white and grey tones of the blizzard. But it was no longer the familiar three tomoe pattern, instead the tomoe had spun into a three bladed pinwheel. Blood was leaking from his eye as Kakashi sunk into the snow.
Whatever Kakashi had done to save her had used a lot of chakra.
He stubbornly pushed forward anyway. A deadly expression on his face as he stared down the shinobi who had attacked her. "I've got that one. You go for the other!"
There was little time to argue as Kotori was forced to dart out of the way of another ice shard. She really, really hated fighting in a blizzard. The snow impeded her movement and slowed her down. Her fingers were stiff and clumsy inside her gloves, trying to go through her hand seals at their usual speed. She fired several lighting arrows however the wind kept knocking them off course.
"Typhoon Wind!" She snapped.
She used gusts of wind to push back the storm. She stepped into the eye of her own hurricane, able to see clearly around her for the first time. When another round of ice shards were hurled at her, she backflipped out of the way, her foot landing on ice and slipping out from under her. The ice shards landed around her, cracking the ice she was on. It capsized from her weight, sending her into the icy cold water underneath.
She didn't dare use her lightning style attacks under water, fearful of electrocuting herself. Instead she hacked at the ice above her, first with her Wind Slicing jutsu and then, as she grew more and more desperate, with her fists.
She couldn't breathe. Her mind because to panic as she tried to punch and claw her way through the ice. Kotori tried not to think of that last time she was held under water - struggling for air -
"Cry all you want. No one's coming for you, sweetheart."
xXx
Kakashi scanned the area. He had finished off both of the rogue Yuki and there was no sign of Kotori anywhere. Finding her through the sharingan was always a problem. Her tightly controlled chakra appeared no different than the chakra birds she dispersed all over the place, allowing her to blend into the environment.
So the lack of her chakra -
Kakashi fought the growing panic. Not again.
"Kotori?" He called out. He tugged the mask down as he channeled chakra to his nose and attempted to find her through scent.
There was an explosion of ice and snow some distance behind him. Kakashi rushed over immediately.
"Got t-t-trapped under," she stuttered as she struggled to climb out of the frigid water.
Kakashi dropped to his knees next to her, pulling her out of the water. She was violently shaking and her lips were tinged with blue. Her fists were also bloodied and bruised, as if she had tried to punch her way through the ice.
Kakashi glanced around the storm. He needed to get her somewhere to warm up before she got any worse.
"I- I can s-summon - " she bit her thumb, ready to summon Raiden.
"No," he put a hand over hers. Summoning required a fair amount of chakra and in her state, she needed to conserve it and focus on warming herself. "You need to focus on circulating your chakra to stay warm. Let me worry about getting us out of here."
Which… was a big worry as Kakashi was on the verge of chakra exhaustion himself. But he couldn't pass out now and leave Kotori to handle things on her own. He couldn't do that to her. Kotori sunk into the snow as she followed him. He couldn't tell if she was chakra exhausted or if hypothermia was hindering her control.
Luckily, they didn't have to go far to find the little cabin that had once been inhabited by the two Yuki. Kakashi pushed her into the washroom before finding a lighter and some kindling to get a fire going. He checked on her a few minutes later, only to find her still fumbling with removing her clothing.
Kotori's fingers trembled and slipped as she attempted to undo the fastenings around her winter cloak.
"Here."
"N-no, I've got it." She clumsily tried a few more times to get the button out of the hoop to no avail.
"Let me help you."
He avoided her eye as he helped her remove the outer cloak and unzip her jonin flak jacket underneath. He turned around to give her some privacy as she peeled off the rest of her wet clothes. Her storage scrolls in her pouch were completely ruined, the ink dripping down the sides and the seals no longer in tack. Fortunately he also had a medic kit in his pack along with a few ration bars. He handed her the spare clothes he kept in his own storage scroll along with his sleeping bag. Kakashi planned on raiding the cabin later to stock up for the return trip. For now, his focus was ensuring Kotori's condition didn't worsen. He bundled her up and stuck her in front of the fire to warm up.
She was no longer shivering, but she still looked in poor health. Her head drooping forward as her eyes closed. Kakashi checked her pulse, noticing it was weaker than usual. He crouched in front of her, lightly shaking her awake.
"What are you doing?" She sleepily murmured.
"Kotori? I need you to stay awake. Talk to me."
"'Kashi?" she mumbled. "S-so warm."
Her cheek rested against his shoulder. She was still so cold. The temptation to just pull her close hit him. Kakashi thickly swallowed as he ran his hands up and down her arms, trying to rub some warmth back into her. If he could just give her body heat until she was able to regulate her own...
"I'm just going to try something."
He stepped aside before bitting his thumb hard enough to draw blood. He used the rest of his strength to summon the pack. At the very least, the pack could stand guard as the both of them recovered their strength. Not to mention all eight of them had fur coats of their own. Kakashi sat down a little distance away from Kotori, his back sliding against the wall, exhausted from the effort. That unknown jutsu he had used earlier had taken a lot out of him. He could remember the predictive ability of the sharingan seeing the ice shard pierce Kotori and willing it to just disappear. And then it had.
"Kotori!" Shiba let out an excited yip as he rushed towards Kotori. His entire body quivering as he licked her face. Kotori smiled softly as she hugged the overly enthusiastic ninken.
"It's been a while, hasn't it?"
"It's been forever," Shiba whined. "You never visit us anymore!"
Kakashi winced as Shiba laid on the guilt trip. His ninken knew the reason they never saw Kotori anymore. Shiba had once offered to leave presents on Kotori's doorstep for her to "take him back". Kakashi didn't think killing her namesake and leaving them for her to find would win him any points.
The other dogs piled in, demanding attention as they sniffed and checked over Kotori. Bull grumbled as he laid behind her, acting as a furry backrest. He could see her delighted smile as she answered the ninkens' questions and petted them.
"Your mate is in rough shape," Pakkun informed him. He sat in front of Kakashi, giving him an unimpressed look.
"We're not - " Kakashi sighed, wearily shaking his head. Instead he gave the order, knowing the rest of the pack would follow Pakkun's lead. "Make sure she doesn't fall asleep until she's been warmed up. She has mild to moderate hypothermia."
Between the blankets, the fire and the pack, Kotori began to recover and her pulse was stronger when he finally allowed her to go to sleep, using Bull as a pillow. The rest of the pack snuggled in around her with Pakkun dutifully sleeping on top of her side and Akino making sure to curl up next to her calves, draping his head over her legs. Shiba had stayed in Kotori's arms, snuggling into her chest and neck. The dog's mohawk tickling her chin as she slept.
Kakashi smiled to himself as he watched over her. It was a precious sight.
Shiba blinked his eyes open. "We get to keep her this time, right Boss?"
Kakashi shook his head. He knew the ninken missed Kotori. Especially Shiba who had developed a close bond with her.
"But - !"
He put a finger to his lips, indicating for Shiba to be quiet. The ninken let out an unhappy whine.
"No - " she mumbled as she shifted in her sleep. "P-please don't - "
Kakashi frowned as she continued to fret in her sleep. "Kotori, wake up."
He put a hand on her shoulder and she jolted awake. He could hear her heart hammering in her chest as she looked around the unfamiliar room. The tension drained from her shoulders as her eyes focused on him.
"Are you okay?" It didn't sit well with him to see her so quiet and scared.
"Y-yeah," she quietly said. "I'm fine."
She quietly shifted so that she was sitting up, trying her best to let sleeping dogs lie between them. Shiba adjusted so that he was lying on her lap like some sort of overgrown lap dog. Kotori relaxed as she scratched behind his ears and played with the tuff of hair on top of his head.
"Do you want to talk about it?"
"Usually I'm not in a deep enough sleep to - it doesn't matter. It won't be a distraction for the rest of the mission."
"I don't care about the mission. I care about you."
Her eyes adverted, her face flushed. "Like I said, it doesn't matter."
"You were trapped under water - " He gently probed. He had interrogated enough of the bastards who had once held Kotori captive to know what she had been through.
The bitter smile didn't reach her eyes. "I guess you know how Kiri likes their water torture."
"I'm sorry." His apologizes always felt so inadequate. "I should have never left you to deal with that on your own."
"I've already forgiven you," she tiredly said. "I just want to make peace with the past and move on. You should too."
If only it were that simple. He knew they both struggled with more than enough demons.
He let the conversation shift to less serious topics as a distraction. It was good to see the shadows leave her eyes. Even better to just hear her voice as she chatted about anything that came to mind. As he suspected, she was much happier talking about their students. Apparently her students had recently completed the ANBU training program and the two boys had replaced Genma and Raidou on her team. The older shinobi finally taking their spots as members of Tsunade's guard platoon now that things were settling down in the village. The girl had been placed on Team Ro under Tenzo's leadership and was driving their old friend slowly insane.
"She's an Inuzuka, so they gave her the Hound mask." Kotori's eyes sparkled with mischief. "Tenzo had to stop her from bedazzling it. There was a compromise. No rhinestones, but she could change the markings from red to pink. She wanted to rebrand herself because she kept hearing about the last guy who had it."
Kakashi laughed. "All terrible things, I imagine."
"Not all."
Her voice sounded almost wistful, but before Kakashi could say anything, Kotori cleared her throat and quickly looked away.
"Um, Tsunade promoted Ryoku and Mimi to chunin based on past performance. They needed the rank to be admitted into ANBU. I guess the council decided to do emergency field promotions to boost our ranks as we don't have the time or resources to wait for another exam."
Kakashi nodded, having heard the same thing. Most of the older teens with good mission records were automatically promoted. And a good number of chunin had received emergency field promotions to jonin too. Of the rookies, only Shikamaru was promoted based on his performance during the exams. Kakashi had received the feedback about his team and it came with mixed judgement from Tsunade and the council. While all of his students displayed the strength and skill to be promoted, they lacked life experience, good judgement and maturity. Which Kakashi could have told them long before the chunin exams, but he had been forced to sign them up to show off the Uchiha and look how that ended. He was incredibly bitter that Hiruzen and then Tsunade didn't give him more time with Sasuke. Things had been improving, if slowly.
He wondered how his lost student was doing. Sasuke had disappeared into Orochimaru's vast network of underground facilities and nobody had any idea where he was these days. Kakashi kept his ear to the ground for news, but so far, nothing. Not even Kotori's birds could reach him. He had heard from Tsunade that she had tried.
"I've signed Sakura up with Ino and Choji for the next round. That should be interesting."
Kotori tilted her head. "Why's that?"
Right, Kotori hadn't been there for the preliminaries and wouldn't know of the drama the two girls had been slinging around like mud.
"Because Ino and Sakura can't spend five minutes without insulting each other. They're both crushing on Sasuke."
"Oh to be young and in love."
"You were on a team with other girls. How did you three work it out?"
Kotori looked thoughtful. "Usually we didn't like the same guys."
"Usually?
"Well, there was one time," she snickered. "But we got over him pretty quick. I don't understand though, Ino's never going to be allowed to date Sasuke. I wasn't even in the running for clan head and I knew who I could and couldn't date by her age."
Kakashi and Asuma had mostly looked the other way during the girls' spat because they knew the problem would sort itself out in a few years and it was firmly not their business. It was a long shot the Yamanaka clan elders would let their heiress marry the last remaining Uchiha. Now that he had run off and joined Orochimaru, he was quite sure Inoichi would never let him step foot in the Yamanaka clan compound. Kakashi didn't know why Inoichi was letting this drag on, but he assumed either Ino hid her obsession with Sasuke from her parents or Inoichi had a hard time telling his spoiled little princess no.
"That's going to be a fun day for Inoichi," Kakashi brightly said. "The next class graduates in a few weeks, are you going to take another team then?"
Kotori's expression turned wistful. "I asked. But I guess I'm too useful in ANBU at the moment. So they're getting all these lower ranked jonin to do it this time. Maybe in a year or two when things calm down."
He snorted. Most jonin didn't like teaching genin and were terrible at it - himself included. Others like Asuma and Gai saw it as part of their duty and would take one or two teams over the course of their career. It took a certain personality to have patience with the genin and train them. To find a jonin who enjoyed it… he would have assigned her teams until she retired if that's what she wanted to do.
"You can always help with Sakura."
It wasn't a selfless offer. Sakura could sniff out romantic tension like a bloodhound. Give her a day and she'd be trying to send them on a date. And how could Kotori resist his cute little matchmaking student?
"First your dogs, then your kids. You're really trying hard to win me over, aren't you?"
"Is it working?"
Her lips quirked up as she rolled her eyes. That wasn't a yes, but it wasn't a no either. It was hard to tell where he stood with her these days.
The entire time she was dating Aoba he had been focused on earning her forgiveness and perhaps being friends again. Kakashi didn't allow himself to think there was ever a chance. He had made his peace with that. However in the weeks since their breakup, Kakashi began fantasizing about something more.
It was foolish thinking. He knew that.
But Kakashi was nothing if not a little foolish. Nothing ventured, nothing gained and all that. "What would it take for you to give me a second chance?"
Kotori stared at him for a very long time, hardly believing her ears. She had died, hadn't she? She had drowned under the lake or- or froze to death during the night. Or perhaps this was just another level of her dream.
"Are you insane?"
"Depending on who you ask."
That stupid, stupid little eye smile. It got her every time. She could not seriously be considering answering anything other than hell no, never again. What was he thinking, having this conversation in the middle of a mission while he was struggling with chakra exhaustion and she was mildly hypothermic.
Actually, he probably wasn't thinking. Chakra exhaustion was a hell of a drug.
"I don't know," she eventually said. "How do I trust things will be different this time?"
"You can't," he admitted. "At least, not right now. I broke your trust in me, but I'll fix it, somehow. I miss you. I miss us. I fucked up and I regret it every day. So I'm asking, what would it take?"
Aoba was right. She was pathetic. He was saying all the pretty words and she was falling for it. It wouldn't work. It didn't work then and they were two different people now. Kakashi was still in love with the Kotori he had met years ago. He wouldn't even recognize her these days. She hardly recognized herself these days.
"I'm not the same person," Kotori warned him.
"Neither am I." He held her eye contact and her heart leapt into her throat. Even worse, she believed him. She believed that he had changed for the better.
Perhaps she was the insane one.
He gave her that infuriating little eye smile again. He always had the ability to read her body language and know exactly what she was thinking. That hadn't changed. "Once we get back to the village, I'll earn your trust back, Kotori, I promise."
She couldn't lie to herself. Part of her wanted him to be successful. "We'll see."
So I was planning this chapter long before my part of the world got hit by a blizzard last week. And then the blizzard made me go back and write Kotori being extra salty about the snow. XD
Thank you everyone for your continued support!