Kakashi walked past Yamanaka Flowers for the dozenth time, his eye drifting to see who was at the till.
Why did the owners of the only flower shop in this village also have to be the parents of the most gossipy teenaged girl? Every time Kakashi tried to come to Yamanaka Flowers, Ino was working. Was she not a kunoichi? Shouldn't she have training or missions or something?
He knew the answer to that. He had been the one training them today after all. Kakashi had ended their session early, needing time to prepare for his date with Kotori.
It didn't help that Ino had resumed her friendship with Sakura. Yes he was happy for his student. She had been looking lonely now that Sasuke deflected and Naruto was on his training trip with Jiraiya. However the last thing Kakashi needed was the pair of them giggling at him and asking about his love life. Ino would presumably tell her team which included Asuma... Kakashi could do without Asuma or Kurenai's opinions either.
Finally, Kakashi got his chance. Inoichi was at the till, putting together a funeral arrangement. It wasn't often that Inoichi helped at the flower shop; it was mainly run by his wife. Kakashi suspected that whoever died had been close to Inoichi for him to take the time to do this.
"Anyone I knew?" Kakashi asked, gesturing to the arrangement.
"My uncle, Muga."
Kakashi frowned, his eye flickering to hold Inoichi's. Given Muga's position in Intelligence and influence within the village, it could be a targeted attempt.
"I know what you're thinking. It was a stroke. No signs of foul play. I did the autopsy myself."
Inoichi didn't seem to be that concerned over the cause of Muga's death so Kakashi relaxed. It was a blessing for a shinobi to grow old and be able to die of natural causes.
"Ino!" Inoichi called into the back. "There's a customer here."
Kakashi resisted the urge to turn on his heel and walk out the door.
"Oh, it's you," Ino said in lieu of a proper greeting. "The usual, Kakashi-sensei?"
Kakashi scratched the back of his head. He could take the easy way out and pretend he was going to the cemetery. "Ah, no. I was looking for something a little different this time."
Curiosity sparked in Ino's eyes. "Really?"
Kakashi nonchalantly glanced around the store before spotting gardenias in the corner. Feigning disinterest, he waved his hand at them. "What about something like that?"
"You know, Asuma-sensei always gets red roses for Kurenai-sensei. They're the symbol of romantic love."
"Asuma might get a little offended if I buy roses for Kurenai."
Ino made an unhappy huff. But she was nothing if not persistent. "Who are they for?"
"Myself," he cheerfully replied.
"You're buying flowers for yourself?"
"Well, no one else is going to buy them for me."
Ino set to work, arranging a beautiful bouquet of flowers, while not so-subtly asking more invasive questions. Kakashi kept dancing around them, much to Ino's annoyance.
He could see Inoichi trying to keep a straight face. "Ino, stop interrogating customers."
"I just wanted to help," Ino said in an innocent voice that Kakashi didn't buy. "Make sure that they're appropriate for the occasion."
"I'm sure you did." Inoichi affectionately put a hand on her shoulder. Kakashi couldn't help but wonder how Ino had her father so blinded to her obvious manipulations.
"I've heard you've been helping Asuma train Ino and Choji for the upcoming chunin exams," Inoichi said, abruptly changing the topic. He added a little pouch of medicine in the bag with the flowers. "That will help clear up any lingering side effects from the mind jutsu."
While it was true that Kakashi was helping to train them, he hadn't let Ino come anywhere close to being able to use her mind jutsu on him. The last thing Kakashi wanted was Ino getting inside his head. Fortunately Ino seemed just as appalled by the idea.
"As if I'd want to read his mind," Ino scoffed. "It's probably full of porn."
"Ino!" Inoichi looked aghast. "Where did you learn about - how do you know about that?"
"I should get going." Kakashi quickly said before his choice in literature was called into question.
Kakashi spent the rest of the afternoon restless. Even Icha Icha couldn't hold his attention for long. His mind fantasizing over all the ways this date could go and the erotic scenes from Icha Icha taking them in a different direction than the innocent evening he intended. It had been... a while. He had been with a few kunoichi who had been only interested in mindless sex in the years since his breakup. It had served as a stress relief, only physical and nothing intimate. With Kotori he wanted more. Much more. Ever since she had come back into his life he was more and more aware of the painful ache inside his chest. When he had laid in her lap and she played with his hair all those months ago, he had just about melted. He had forgotten how nice it was to let her do that.
He needed to slow this down. They would have an enjoyable evening together. He would walk her back to her place and give her a kiss goodnight. There was something said in leaving her wanting more.
For once, he dressed in civilian clothes. He wore one of his undershirts with the mask attached underneath it and then chose a navy blue dress shirt that Kotori had gifted him years ago to go with his black slacks. She had said that the colour suited him. He removed the forehead protector and replaced it with one of his eyepatches instead. Without the forehead protector, his hair hung lower in a way that he knew Kotori found appealing.
Kakashi glanced at his watch when he arrived at Ichiban Teppanyaki. He had been ten minutes early. He chuckled to himself, knowing his students would never believe it. Then again, they'd never believe he was on a date either.
"Reservation under Hatake," Kakashi told the hostess. He had booked a private table for two in advance, wanting everything to go smoothly.
He settled in, able to observe the entire restaurant. He relaxed as he casually observed the other patrons and staff. His eyes kept being drawn to the entrance every time the little bell indicated someone's arrival. The waitress gave him increasingly pitying looks as she came to refill his water time and time again.
"Something came up," Kakashi excused on her behalf. "She's just running a little late."
Kakashi waited until eight, in case Kotori had gotten the time mixed up. But by eight fifteen he realized she was not coming.
He couldn't deny that he was hurt. But more than hurt, he was worried. He didn't think Kotori would stand him up, even if she was having second thoughts. He rushed over the rooftops to her apartment lights were off in her apartment. He tried knocking on her door, just in case she was home. After a few minutes, he tried again, a little louder this time. With no answer, he wondered if she had been called in on a last minute mission or briefing. Tenzo lived in the same building and would surely know what had happened.
However, as he was about to leave, the door cracked open. Kotori was on the other side. There were dark bags under her eyes and her skin looked swallow. But more concerning was the empty look in her eyes and the way she winced from the light in the hallway, shielding her sight with her hand. Kakashi's concern grew, but before he could ask if she was alright, she spoke.
"Kakashi? What are you - " She took in his appearance and the bouquet of flowers before her face lost its remaining colour. "Oh no. No, no. Shit. I'm so sorry. I completely forgot - "
That didn't sound like Kotori. She wasn't usually so scattered. He discreetly checked her scent, inhaling through the mask. This was undeniably Kotori and not an imposter.
"No. No, don't be sorry. These things happen," Kakashi offered.
On one hand, he was relieved it wasn't about him. On the other hand, something had happened to Kotori. Something awful enough to leave her so rattled. And that didn't sit well with him.
He knew he shouldn't ask her. Tenzo had filled him with the barest details of their mission to dismantle Root. The success of the mission hung by a thread. He couldn't deny that he was incredibly worried. Danzo was one of the sickest bastards out there. The urge to protect her from every awful thing in this village burned deep in his chest. Kakashi would have offered to join their team if he wasn't taking the lead on the Akatsuki Task Force.
"Did you get back from a mission?"
"Something like that." Her smile was thin. "You know I can't really - "
"I know."
They both lingered on opposite sides of the doorway. Kotori rubbed her left arm, looking like she wanted to say something.
"You should rest," Kakashi eventually said, handing her the flowers. "Here, I brought these for you. We can do something once you recover."
"Can you stay?" She blurted out.
Kakashi blinked, surprised. In the moment he had taken to respond, he could already see her retreating into herself. Protecting herself from his rejection, he realized. Hadn't they been here before? In this very doorway. He had relived that moment ten thousand times and now he finally had the chance to change it.
"I'll stay."
She stepped forward at the same time he wrapped his arms around her, holding her tightly. He could feel her shoulders shake as she buried her face in his chest. He murmured promises into her hair. "I'll stay. I promise. I'm not going anywhere."
Kakashi guided Kotori into her apartment, catching her as she stumbled. She winced once more as he turned on the lights so he immediately shut them off. Kotori had all the symptoms of a mental concussion. He recognized them as Ino got them quite frequently from her mind being forced back into her body unexpectedly.
"Inoichi gave me something," Kakashi said, now realizing that the medicine wasn't for him. He reached into his pocket and pulled out the pouch. "Why didn't you go to the hospital?"
Her eyes held his. "I think you know why I can't."
"Muga."
Her eyes closed as she nodded. "I can't sleep. I keep hearing him, whispering at the back of my mind. And then I see - "
Her face twisted in pain.
"What do you see?"
"The kyubi. The village. My family. All of it." Her voice was barely a whisper as she spoke. Kotori did not talk about the Sorano. Not to him, not to anyone, really. "He made me remember things that I - I tried to forget."
"It's okay," Kakashi said. He sat on the couch, pulling her down with him. Kotori's hand was curled into the fabric of his shirt and she hadn't let go.
"I didn't even want to be a kunoichi," she whispered. "They made me, you know? I must have forgotten. But now I remember it. I remember crying, begging my uncle not to make me go to the academy. I was so scared."
Kakashi nodded in understanding. They had been under martial law during the third war. Their forces were exhausted. All children born in Konoha with sufficient chakra were sent to the academy. As a clan kid, Kotori would have had no choice.
"And then it didn't matter anyway. Once I was a genin it was all I could do to survive." Her eyes were empty, lost in the memories. "My clansmen, they were so busy - and with my father dead - the only way they paid any attention was if I was good. So I became good. Really good. I graduated top of my class. I was the best in my year and everyone knew it. Only, Ensui-sensei didn't seem to care. He was such an asshole back then. I hated him so much. Did you know, he actually favoured Sayuri-chan. It drove me crazy, we were always so competitive."
She shook her head, her lips tilting up in a sad smile. "I had gotten into an argument with him the night before - he said I was an attention seeking brat and he was done teaching me."
"The night before - ?"
Kotori inhaled sharply. "The night before the kyubi attack."
Kakashi remembered pulling her broken body out of the wreckage and bringing her to the hospital. He held her tighter. "Bet he felt really guilty."
"Y-yeah. I think he did."
Kakashi supposed that while Ensui had been an asshole in her youth, he had redeemed himself after that night.
"Muga made me relive my time with Gyoku too." She shuddered next to him. It was a good thing Muga was dead or Kakashi would have hunted him down and personally murdered him.
"You're safe now," he promised, wrapping an arm around her and holding her tight as she buried her face into his chest. "Did you want to tell me about it?"
He felt her nod against him. It was as if the dam had finally burst open. Once she started talking, she didn't stop. Not just what Gyoku and his men had done to her, but all of her fears and worries since then came pouring out of her.
"The Akatsuki, Orochimaru, Danzo - it's too much. How do we keep everyone safe?" Kotori pulled back, her green eyes brimming with fear. "Gyoku is nothing compared to them. I've seen the files. What Orochimaru did - what Danzo allowed him to do - What if we can't win?"
He cupped her face in his hands. He tried to channel as much power and conviction in his words so that she could feel it. "I'm going to do everything in my power to protect this village. To protect you."
She must have felt it, because her head shot up. Her eyes were bright and determined as they held his. "And I'll make sure there's still something worth fighting for. I'm not going to let Danzo get away with the rot he's been causing inside this village."
"We make quite the team."
She smiled, shyly looking up at him through her lashes. "We always have."
He leaned forward and kissed the top of her brow through the mask.
"You should rest. I'll stay here."
It wasn't long after that she was falling asleep against him on the couch. He adjusted her so that she was lying down, her head in his lap as he played with her hair.
"Sorry 'm such a bad date," she sleepily murmured.
"You're not. This is the best date I've been on in years."
xXx
Kotori-chan
She could hear the whisper of one of her chakra birds in her mind. Her eyes fluttered open as she found herself lying on the couch, her head in Kakashi's lap. His hand was resting on top of her head as his head lulled forward in sleep. He looked so peaceful in the morning daylight. Affection for him fluttered in her heart.
You don't really believe he'll stay, do you?
Inoichi had been able to retrieve Muga's mind from one of her birds, but Kotori couldn't help but feel that her entire network had been polluted. She could still feel him echoing in the far corners of her chakra bird network. She kept having visions of Konoha destroyed by the kyubi. But now they were juxtaposed with images of everyone she loved being caught up in it.
Go away, she thought. She shut out the negative voice as best as she could.