AN: Update: I've finished going through this story and editing typos, inconsistencies and some earlier OOCness from when I was still working out the characters / plot in my mind. I hope it's made for a tighter/cleaner story. Chapter 17 "powerless" has always bugged me because it was before I really plotted out how the root arc would happen. So I've removed that part and am retconning it. I've added honourifics (omg the explanations I have for when Kotori is "Captain" versus "Kotori" versus "Kotori-chan" and sometimes all by the same person depending on the situation. Ensui and Kakashi in particular are super careful with how they address her as being overly familiar while on duty is inappropriate and would undermine her authority. And then Kakashi is the only one to call her Tori-chan as an intimate nickname ). I've kept "Captain" in English as I thought it went better with the English animal codenames.

I've had the middle section of this chapter sitting in my drafts for literal YEARS. Feels so good to release it.

Trigger Warning: Mention of suicide.

Thank you everyone for all of your support and comments.

"How could you?" Kotori accused. "We trusted you!"

She launched herself at him in a flurry of hits and kicks that had no real power to them. He simply blocked each one. She knew she was at a huge disadvantage. She knew better than to fight a Nara in close quarters where they didn't even have to extend their shadow. She knew Ensui was larger and much stronger than her. Instead he simply held her in a simple taijutsu maneuver, one that he taught her to escape from many many years ago.

"I'm not going to hurt you," Ensui eventually said. "Can we talk?"

No matter how - howangryhowhurthowbetrayed - she felt, she couldn't hurt him either. She went slack, the fight draining from her. Ensui released her.

She felt the lump forming in her throat. "I have nothing more to say to you."

She turned on her heel and fled.

xXx

Fourteen years previously…

Ensui remained completely stoic as he dug through the ruble.

He had been at this for hours, ever since the kyubi vanished and the rescue effort began. His feet had carried him over to the western side of the village and underneath the crumbling teal torii that once marked the entrance to the Sorano compound. The light and airy compound was now the epicentre of the damage. The neat rows of houses had been completely flattened. The ginkgo tree in the middle was blackened and still smouldering.

There was a heavy silence in the air as he and several others worked to recover bodies. Ensui knew better than to hope for survivors. Yet at the same time, he was dreading the moment he would find the remains of a small twelve year old girl. His student hadn't been with the rest of the underaged shinobi nor had anyone seen her since the day before.

As he moved to the next house, he found a discarded bow. He knelt down to pick it up, turning it over in his hand. It was too small to belong to any of the men and had the distinct carving of the songbird Kotori used in lieu of her name. So she had rushed into battle after all. He should have known. Kotori was a foolish girl with more courage than sense.

The thought of that monster ripping apart his student -

He closed his eyes but that didn't stop his mind from going there anyway. He had seen enough carnage and gore over his career to imagine what a thousand foot chakra demon could do to a little girl.

He had liked Kotori. She was a good kid. He didn't think he had ever told her that. Instead, the words of their argument the day before echoed in his head. He had lost his temper after she had done something stupid. He couldn't even remember what anymore, it was so irrelevant.

"You're just an attention seeking brat. If you want to behave that way, then there's nothing more that I will teach you."

His words had been harsh. Cruel. He could remember the way Kotori's green eyes glittered with angry and unshed tears.

"I hate you." She had screamed back at him. "You're the worst sensei ever! We all know you hate us and never wanted to teach us in the first place!"

He should have known. Kotori was intelligent and socially astute. Not to mention sensitive. He hadn't exactly hidden the fact that he didn't want to be a jonin sensei. But that didn't mean he hated the kids. He wasn't even indifferent to them anymore. Somewhere along the way they had wormed their way into his cold and dead heart. And wasn't that a terrifying revelation?

"Whatever, you won't have to put up with me any more."

And now she was dead.

Ensui's heart felt like it was somewhere in his stomach. The painful reminder that he did actually have the ability to feel. Something he tried to forget most days.

Anyone who had been unlucky enough to survive the horrors of the third war had their own way of coping.

"I have a method that I teach to shinobi, one that helps them separate themselves from such feelings."

It had worked. For a time.

Shikaku landed in front of him, glancing around at the wreckage. He let out a low whistle. "What a shame. I always liked Karasu-san."

The Sorano clan head was the first body Ensui had recovered. Or what was left of him.

"What do you want?" Ensui snapped.

If this was Shikaku's way of checking up on him, he wanted it over with.

"There's a boy looking for you at the jonin standby station. They found your student."

Ensui remained stoic, already prepared for the worst. That didn't stop the awful creeping dread from wrapping its tendrils around his heart. This was it.

"The Sorano girl? She's in the hospital."

"She's alive?" He gruffly said. It was impossible. There was no way she could survive the absolute devastation.

"Seems to be the case. Go. I'll get someone to take over this section."

Ensui immediately flickered away, appearing at the hospital in record time.

Inside was chaotic as he tried to find a someone to direct him. He pulled aside a frantic looking medic with a clipboard. "I'm looking for a kid - Sorano Kotori - "

"Yo, Nara-san!"

Ensui's head lifted up. He recognized Utatane Satoshi.

"You're the Sorano girl's jonin leader?"

"Yeah."

Utatane nodded, indicating Ensui should follow him. The other man started speaking in a litany of medical jargon that Ensui couldn't even register. Eventually they arrived to a hospital room that had four cots crammed into it, a curtain around each of them giving a thin veil of privacy.

"She'll be out of it for a few more hours," Utatane explained, pulling the curtain around one of the cots open. "But she'll make a full recovery. Kids are resilient."

Ensui didn't even hear him. The blood was pounding in his ears. If he didn't know better, he would have assumed Kotori was just sleeping. She looked peaceful. The nurses had cleaned up any surface wounds and dressed her in a clean hospital gown.

"You scared the hell out of me, kid."

She didn't respond. He didn't expect her to. They stayed in silence for what had to be hours. He shouldn't be sitting in a hospital room when all hands were needed. And yet he couldn't bring himself to leave.

"S-sensei?"

He blinked his eyes open. He must have dozed off.

"Hey kid," he quietly said. "How do you feel?"

He carefully inspected her. Her eyes were a bit hazy, her movement subdued as she took in her surroundings.

Her face grimaced. There was a ghost of a smile that didn't quite reach her eyes.

"Like shit?"

"I'm glad you're still with us."

She lowered her eyes as she picked at a loose thread in the bedsheets, clearly uncomfortable.

"Where's my mom -?"

"They're still searching," he admitted. While he could assume what had happened to her mother and brothers, he didn't actually know.

Her face crumbled. "And - and Hayato and Hibari?"

"I can inquire," he said, stalling the inevitable. But Kotori had survived… if he could find just one other Sorano… she would at least have someone. And maybe, maybe if she were lucky he could find one of her brothers. "I'll find a nurse while I'm up. Do you need anything else?"

She shook her head, her voice quivering. "I just want my mom."

Ensui put his hands in his pockets. He would personally search for Sorano Kotone if that's what it took. He found Shikaku outside the nurse's station, exchanging news on those who had been found injured and those who had been confirmed dead. He braced himself for the tally. He had been lucky so far. His brother, his wife and now his three students had all survived.

"Twenty from our clan," Shikaku tiredly answered the unasked question. "And seven in the hospital. There's still three missing."

Ensui did not envy his brother having to break the news to the families. It wasn't that long ago that they had been at war and this was the norm. Ensui could all too well remember how every trip home was marked with more funerals and more memorials. After a while, he had become indifferent to it all. He should have felt sad. Instead, he just felt tired. Defeated. Empty.

"Any updates on the Sorano?" Ensui asked.

"It's easier to tell you who's alive," Shikaku muttered. "And she's in that hospital bed."

"Fuck." Ensui didn't know why he expected to be told anything else. "Any of them still missing at least?"

"No, I think they're all been accounted for. Kotone, Karasu, Hayato and Hibari have all been confirmed dead. Those were her immediate family?"

Ensui closed his eyes. "Yeah."

"Reports say the kyubi flattened the entire compound. The Sorano were a small clan, maybe fifty or so? Completely wiped out in a matter of minutes."

An entire clan gone within minutes, Ensui shook his head. They weren't the only one either. All of the clans in the western sector had suffered when the nine tails suddenly appeared. It was where most of the fighting had occurred. The Tachibana and Taketori had suffered heavy losses, both shinobi and civilian. The only reason the Aburame had made it mostly intact was that they were able to retreat into the earth at the first sign of trouble.

"She's lucky she survived."

"Yeah." Although he had a feeling she wouldn't see it that way. This was going to break her heart.

Ensui slowly trudged back to the hospital, preparing to give the bad news. Only to find Shimura Danzo was quietly speaking to Kotori as she sat up in her bed. She looked worse than she had when he left her. Her face twisted with pain and tear tracks that she was furiously trying to wipe.

Kotori flinched as Danzo patted her hair and Ensui felt the inexplicable urge to break every bone in his hand.

"Ah, Ensui-san," Danzo greeted him. "I had come to offer my condolences… as well as assistance. The Shimura have opened up space in our facilities to house two dozen children. With Kotori-san's situation, I thought - "

"Thank you, Danzo-sama, but that won't be necessary. She'll be staying with my family until she's settled."

"Very well."

He watched a silent Kotori with a worried eye. She hadn't reacted to any of the conversation about her living situation.

Danzo gave a subtle nod to the door, indicating he wished to speak in private.

"I find broken kids are so malleable. You can rebuild them into the perfect shinobi. She will come to you, looking for a way to stop her pain. And you will teach her."

"Like you taught me," Ensui blankly said.

"Exactly." Danzo gave him a fond smile. "I am deeply sorry about Kotori-san's situation. Again, my condolences to her in this troubling time. If she needs anything, you know where to find me."

"My condolences during this troubling time. For a friend to be struck down so violently - it must have been difficult to witness."

"Of course." Ensui watched the councillor walk away. Or more precisely, to the next orphaned kid's room. A tragedy of this nature… clearly Danzo was taking advantage.

Ensui watched Kotori through the glass window. Her head buried in her arms as she cried. An outcome he had been trying to avoid, but knew was inevitable.

"Kotori - "

He hesitated, unsure what comfort he could offer. The truth was that she had been dealt a shit hand.

"I think - I think I'd like to be alone, please."

She sniffed, tears gathering in her eyes as she fought to keep her composure. The fledgling mental shields of a preteen girl not quite fully developed. Shinobi don't cry. He could hear his own words ringing in his ears. How many times had he said that, not wanting to deal with teary eyed genin?

"Come here Kotori-chan."

The mental shields completely crumbled.

She launched herself at him and he caught her, holding her as she cried messy tears into his flak jacket. She weighed practically nothing in his arms as he carried her. He shifted, mindful of her injuries, as he adjusted her so that she was sitting on his lap. Her hands clutched the pockets of his flak jacket as she buried her face and cried horrible, heart-retching sobs. Ensui wrapped his arms around her, rubbing soothing circles and muttering reassurances that sounded hollow to his ears. He wasn't good at this. He didn't have a clue how to comfort a crying child.

Something tugged painfully at what was left of his heartstrings. A feeling that he had tried to bury along with all of his grief and hurt and anger.

He cared for this kid.

And he wasn't about to let Danzo damage her the way he had already damaged him.

xXx

Present Day

Ensui was smoking on the engawa when Shikaku found him.

"A clan elder killed on our lands. That's going to be hard to bury."

"Then throw me in jail."

Ensui felt no regret. Shikaku needed a man deep inside Danzo's organization and Ensui already had his foot in the door. He provided Shikaku what little intel he could on Danzo. To both of their regret, it was never enough to fully take down the organization. It was barely enough to stay ahead of them. To maintain his cover, he carefully fed Danzo information on his brother, on the Uchiha and from whatever Kotori's chakra birds could provide.

In return - in return Danzo had agreed to leave his family the fuck alone.

Only he hadn't. Not truly. Ensui had known for years that his dear aunt was one of Danzo's most loyal, senior members. Every time he fucked up, she was there when he got home, sitting on the couch with his wife. Holding one of his daughters. A silent reminder that she had access to them.

When he found her fighting with Kotori - there was no choice. He didn't care about the consequences to himself. He never had. He had expected to die for defying the Root seal and causing harm to a senior member. The fact that he hadn't - that he had lived - was unexpected.

"You should have warned me - she's the one responsible for Muga's death, isn't she?"

"I knew there was a task force. I wasn't aware she was on it."

They should have guessed. There weren't many who could match the old Yamanaka's mind games. Kotori was one of the few who had the mental fortitude to go up against them. Her clan techniques made her well suited for it.

"How old is Kotori these days?" Shikaku eventually asked.

"Twenty six."

"A twenty six year old ANBU captain," Shikaku mused. "She's not a child anymore, I think she can handle herself."

"And when Shikamaru-kun is all grown up and a jonin, would you worry any less?"

Checkmate.

Shikaku's lips twitched as if he wanted to say something, but chose to remain quiet.

"What?"

"Nothing."

Ensui glared at him.

"You're an idiot, little brother."

"Well, we can't all be geniuses."

He would leave that to the rest of his family.

Ensui stamped out his cigarette, deciding he had given Kotori enough time to cool down, but not too much time that she decided to engage in her own self destructive habits. Ensui really did not want to have this conversation in a bar. Luckily Kotori was standing on her balcony, starring out at the trees when he found her. He leapt up the tree that had its branches directly in front of Kotori's balcony.

Kotori sighed before silently turning on her heel and walking into her apartment. She left the door open which he supposed was an invitation. They could hardly speak openly on a balcony with so many jonin nearby. Once he was inside, she closed the windows and doors and activated a privacy seal that had been drawn onto her bedroom wall.

"Here to tell me you had childhood trauma and they used that to recruit you?" Kotori despondently asked.

"That's the M.O."

Ensui had never felt more exposed as when Kotori regarded him. There was an understanding in her eyes, but she was still holding herself primly.

He nodded, relenting that he would need to be open for once. "Setsuna was my genin teammate and mission partner. After she died, I was angry. At the bastards who had done it to her. At the village for putting her on that mission. But mostly at myself."

The mission hadn't actually killed her. Setsuna had taken care of that herself. He had been able to rescue her from her captors, but the damage had been done. He could do nothing but watch as shadows claimed his friend.

"I'm fine." She had insisted.

And he had been stupid enough to believe her. Truthfully, Kotori and Setsuna were nothing alike in appearance or personality. But after Kotori had been captured, he had spent many nights fearful they would meet a similar end. He still wanted to choke Kakashi for making the same mistakes as he had.

"You've mentioned her before, but not by name." Kotori said, her brow drawing down as she put things together. "You said - you said you were in a dark place and that being given genin made you rethink a few things."

"And you did," Ensui softly smiled. "Why do you think I left? I've never lied to you."

"You haven't been fully honest either."

"I can't tell you everything," Ensui said. The seal on his tongue was burning already. It prevented him from betraying high level secrets about Danzo and Root. But he had been working around it his entire life. "But you've got to trust me when I say, I've always been on your side."

Her eyes lowered, avoiding his own.

"Sayuri-?" Her voice wavered. "Did you betray her?"

It hurt that she could think that.

"I was trying to keep her out of trouble. Part of me wondered - if Itachi had suspected - there are worse fates than death."

The Uchiha would have been imprisoned if they had rebelled. Ibiki was merciful compared to the treatment the Uchiha would have received at the hands of Danzo. Ensui had heard rumours of one too many prisoners "dying" and then disappearing into Danzo's labs.

And the sharingan… Danzo made no secret that he coveted its power.

When Ensui realized Danzo had been slowly stroking the flames of rebellion, he focused on providing intel to save those he could. The rebellion leaders had signed their fates but a good number of the younger shinobi wanted a peaceful resolution. Sayuri among them.

Ensui never imagined that Danzo would condone the entire clan to death. Every last shinobi, civilian and child.

"Suspected what?"

Kotori didn't know about the rebellion.

He had thought Sayuri or Kakashi would have told her.

He went to answer, but the seal prevented him from speaking. Fuck.

"Ask - " he nearly referred her to Kakashi. But Ensui couldn't do that to her. It would destroy whatever fragile trust she had regained in him. "Shikaku. He should be able to explain any gaps I cannot."

Shikaku owed him that much, at least.

"And what about me?"

"I gave him enough to think you were uninteresting. By the time you became interesting - " he smiled despite himself. "Danzo generally avoided attracting Kakashi's attention."

Kakashi would have burned the organization to the ground if something happened to Kotori and he got even the faintest hint Root had been behind it. And while perhaps he wouldn't have been able to dismantle the entire operation, Ensui wouldn't have put it past him to be able to wreck absolute havoc on it before he was captured and killed.

The cynical part of him wondered if that was the backup plan should Kotori fail in her task.

"Kotori-chan, if he catches you, he will make Gyoku look like an amateur."

He could see the conflicting emotions in her eyes. She was afraid. But more than afraid, she was determined to see this mission through.

"It's something I have to do."

Kotori had far exceeded his expectations of her. As a bratty little genin he expected her to reach her limit as a chunin, maybe tokubetsu if she settled down and took training seriously. But now, Kotori had grown into a formidable kunoichi. She didn't need him. She hadn't for quite some time. But he would be damned if he let her take on Danzo without him.

"And I will help you."