Paint and Powder
A Star Trek anthology by Andrew Joshua Talon
DISCLAIMER: This is a non-profit fan based work of prose. Star Trek: The Next Generation, Deep Space Nine, Voyager et al are the property of CBS Television, and creation of Gene Roddenberry. Please support the official release.
Enterprise PSA
Enterprise appears with a friendly smile, in her late 24th century uniform.
Enterprise: "Hello, eager young Starfleet Cadets! I am, of course, the Enterprise AI! And I'm here with an important message!"
The logo "Shipgirls and YOU" appears. The scene shifts to a view of a corridor on a typical late 24th century starship.
Enterprise: steps into frame "Here is Ensign Newbie. He's a hotblooded, eager space cadet, happy to start his duties and boldly go where no one has gone before!"
A generic human ensign (with a slight resemblance to Bradward Boimler) appears, and waves at the camera. A generic shipgirl AI avatar appears next to him, beaming.
Enterprise: "Thanks to recent upgrades, shipgirl AIs can now interact with their crews in ways we could have only dreamed of a century ago! Holographic bodies with containment forcefields, gynoid bodies... It all sounds wonderful!"
Ensign Newbie and the Shipgirl AI hold hands as they go off to have fun.
Enterprise: "You can go with your shipgirl AI to the holodeck! The gym! The shuttlebay! On alien worlds! The bowling alley! Or onto space stations for fun activities!"
Ensign Newbie and the Shipgirl AI do these things, all quite happy and content. Enterprise steps in front of them as they share a milkshake with two straws.
Enterprise: "Ensign Newbie here knows that his shipgirl AI is a person, and not to mistreat her. Just like he would not mistreat any other member of his crew! If you show respect to your shipgirl, she will respect you, and you can both accomplish your goals in serving Starfleet!"
The camera shifts to a... Rather shifty looking Ensign, who does a wall slam next to the head of the shipgirl AI, startling her.
Enterprise: "This is Ensign Scumbag. He also joined Starfleet, but for purely selfish reasons. He played too many holonovels, and assumes that shipgirl AIs are the same as holo hookers!"
Scumbag: "Hey baby... Since you can do anything, you're gonna do me!"
Shipgirl AI: "No... Please...!"
Enterprise: "What happens on the holodeck says on the holodeck, of course, but disrespecting your shipgirl AI in so blatant a manner is a violation of Starfleet regulations! And she is legally authorized to defend herself, like any other crewmember from unwanted advances!"
Ensign: grabs the shipgirl AI's arm "Just shut up and obey my orders, you piece of-!"
The shipgirl AI flips the gravity upside down, and back, slamming Ensign Scumbag up and down from the ceiling to the deck. The Shipgirl AI stomps off in a huff, as Ensign Scumbag groans.
Enterprise: "That wasn't smart. But even less smart... Is Ensign Playboy."
Ensign Playboy looks very handsome and confident. He heads into a holodeck with a confident grin.
Enterprise: "Ensign Playboy has a thing for shipgirls. And since we appear in so many harem-based games, holonovels, vids, and other such media, he thought that he could build his own harem... Of shipgirl AIs."
Enterprise smiled.
Enterprise: "Now, if you are of a polygamous culture or species, there's certainly nothing wrong with that! But Ensign Playboy made one critical error."
The lights go on in the holodeck... And twenty different shipgirl AIs are all waiting there, ranging from furious to miserable.
Ensign Playboy: "Ah... H-Hey... Ladies..."
Enterprise: "Ensign Playboy neglected to inform any of his partners they were in a group arrangement."
Shipgirls: "GET HIM!"
Ensign Playboy: "AAAAAHHHH!"
As Ensign Playboy is beaten to a pulp, Enterprise steps in front of him with a smile.
Enterprise: "So remember cadets, your shipgirl AI is not an object, a sex toy, a whore, or something else to be mistreated. She is literally programmed to protect you with her life. So show her the same respect."
This has been a Starfleet Informational Vid.
APPROVED BY THE SPACE POPE