June 2016
"I'm four!" Piper's voice called right before she landed on his chest. Jensen came to very quickly, gasping for air. He groaned once he recovered, his brain stuck half in dreamland where he'd been with Kate and the present moment where his child was now sitting on his bladder and wriggling like a fish—a very excited fish.
"Ger'off," he ordered, his voice groggy with sleep still. "Piper, c'mon."
She leaped off without even apologizing, crawling around the mattress on her hands and knees before literally bucking like a horse. This kid...honestly. Jensen was starting to laugh as he tried to get up. Their puppy, Buddy, was also awake and racing around excitedly, just like Piper.
"Come here," Jensen said, catching Piper and hugging her tightly. "Happy Birthday, little one."
"Thank you, Daddy," she said back, kissing his cheek. Then she was bouncing again, free of his grip.
"Okay, oookay," Jensen said, stepping over the still overexcited pup and heading for the bathroom.
"Can I have chocolate chip pancakes?" Piper's voice came from through the door.
"If you leave me in peace," he countered. Her feet scampered away instantly, and he sighed. At least it was Saturday. He yawned and worked to get ready for the day, his heart slightly aching that Suzy was missing their daughter's birthday. Again.
Then it skipped slightly at the thought of seeing Kate. The last couple months had been still just them spending time together and getting closer, and Jensen was getting the feeling that maybe the timing was almost right. He didn't know how she felt about it, and it made him feel nervous to bring it up, but he wanted to. He needed to know.
He looked at the chain hanging with his and Suzy's wedding bands on it, and he paused before touching it, thinking. He suddenly didn't need to wear it because he still had her in his heart and always would, but if he was starting over, he needed to make peace with the past.
"I will always love you," he said, touching the crook of his finger on Suzy's ring. "But I think you know it's time...you've been trying to tell me for a while now, and I get it. I'm listening. I hear you. I'll be okay. I promise." He pulled his hand back, feeling a mix of emotions but then he felt at peace.
"Daddy! Hurry up!" Piper called, and he chuckled to himself before pulling open the bathroom door and heading to the kitchen.
"Just you wait when you're trying to do something and I just holler at you the entire time," he warned, and she gave him a smile, trying to show how cute she was and knew it. He started on breakfast, hearing her talk to Buddy and run around playing with the pup a moment later.
He looked out his window, and when he saw Kate come into view, he smiled. Daisy was trotting at her side, having become a bit clingier to her after having the pups and being in her care for so long. It hadn't been difficult finding homes for the other pups. Kate hadn't kept one herself, stating Daisy was enough. Jensen was pretty sure after managing all of them for as long as she had, she was quite finished with having a puppy around.
"Hey," he said when she got to the screen door.
"Hey," she said back, pulling it open. Daisy slipped in behind her, and Buddy was instantly whining and yipping and trying to play with her. "Where's the birthday girl?"
"Auntie Kate!" Piper called, rushing to hug her. Kate caught her and hauled her up into her arms.
"My goodness, you're getting too big for this," she commented as she rested Piper on her hip, and Piper shook her head vehemently.
"Noooo," she said, giggling as Kate gave her kisses.
"Happy Birthday, sweetheart."
"Thank you."
Jensen smiled to himself as he kept working, seeing Kate set her down in his peripheral. He heard Piper ask if Kate had brought her a gift, and Kate replied she had before producing a macramé bracelet with beads, which made Piper go nuts with excitement over since she'd envied Kate's bracelet for some time now.
"Very nice," Jensen said when Piper showed him. "What do you say?"
"Thank youuu!" Piper sang, hugging Kate hard and then going to play with the dogs. Kate moved to lean against the counter.
"Wait until she's 16 and wants a car for her birthday," Kate commented.
"Oye," Jensen replied. "That's a long ways off yet, thankfully." She smiled and crossed her arms lightly, watching him.
"Big plans for today?"
"Oh, the usual with the exception of cake."
"Tavs coming over?"
"Yea."
"She bringing the cake?"
"You think I can't make one?" he countered, lifting a brow at her. Kate concealed her smirk. Barely. He gasped dramatically in outrage. "You don't think I can do it!"
"I'm sorry," Kate said. "I've seen your cookies."
"They still tasted good," he argued, pointing his flipper at her. She leaned over to inspect his pancakes, and he quickly dipped a finger into the batter and wiped it on her nose.
"J!" she yelped, lurching back. He laughed, and she gave him a shove. She took a Kleenex and wiped it off before tossing it into the trash.
"Those who don't appreciate my cooking don't get any," he advised.
"I didn't say I didn't appreciate it..."
"Insulting my cooking doesn't win you any either," he added.
"Ugh, you're annoying," she retorted.
"You're annoying-er."
"That's not even a word," she pointed out.
"It is now." He slid some smaller pancakes onto a plate, doused it with a bit of syrup and then set it on the table, calling for Piper to come eat. She galloped into the room at high speed.
"Thank you, Daddy."
"You're welcome, love."
"Is Auntie Kate having some?" Piper asked, noticing. Kate gave him a look, daring him to deny her food in the presence of his daughter.
"She already ate," Jensen said. Check mate. Kate dropped her mouth open and made a disgruntled noise, which made him laugh.
"You gotta have some!" Piper insisted. "They're the best!"
"I saved a number seven just for you," Jensen told Kate, who pursed her lips slightly to the side and gave him a look.
"You like burnt pancakes?" Piper asked her, curious.
"He's teasing me," Kate answered her. Jensen dodged her with his plate full, but she managed to grab one anyway, dancing away and eating it while gloating with her eyes. He just shook his head, but he was smiling. He nudged Buddy away from where he was waiting under the table. The pup soon got bored and ran back to Daisy.
"Hey, what's that?" Kate asked, and Jensen turned his head to look out the window, but his hand caught her wrist just before she could steal another pancake. He looked back at her.
"Do that again, and it'll be a fork in your hand," he warned, his tone playful.
"You wouldn't," she replied.
"Wanna find out?"
She pulled from his grip and sat down on the other side of him and rested her elbows on the table. He was smiling playfully as she observed him. In the end, he slid over his plate with two pancakes left on it for her to have, and she took it without a word but did finally smile back.
Once Piper was finished and wiped off, she ran to get changed so they could go for a surf. Kate brought the plate to the sink, brushing against Jensen as she did so. He felt a charge go through him, and he couldn't stop thinking that maybe, just maybe, she was indicating the time had come.
"Kate," he started, and she looked at him expectantly.
"Come on puppies!" Piper exclaimed, bursting back into view suddenly. Jensen closed his mouth, the moment gone. He noticed Kate looked slightly disappointed, though, which said something.
"I'll go with her," she said, moving to follow Piper. "Give you a moment's peace."
"I won't be long."
She nodded and followed Piper outside to the beach. Jensen took some breaths, trying to collect himself. Then he went out to join them.
...
Piper was laughing as she chased the waves and then ran back when they came crashing back at her. Kate watched with a smile on her face, but she was thinking about Jensen. What had he been about to say to her just a moment ago? She had an idea, and she wanted to tell him that she was ready too. The last couple of months had just shown her how good things could be if she let him in fully, and she wanted to.
Jensen arrived with the board, and Kate didn't look away this time. She wondered what some of his tattoos meant, but in their own way, they were him—they described him and who he was.
"You forgot something," he said to Piper, holding out her lifejacket. She took it, saying sorry for forgetting, and snapped it on quickly.
"Are you coming, Auntie Kate?" she asked hopefully.
"Yea, I will," she answered. She slid off her shorts and tank top, revealing her two piece which she basically always seemed to wear these days since a swim was never too far away. This time, Jensen didn't look away either, and she just knew that later, something was going to happen between them.
Piper perched near the top of the board, so Kate got on behind her while Jensen pushed them out until he could no longer touch bottom. Then he was resting on his stomach on the end, moving his arms rhythmically to propel them forward. It got a bit rougher as they went, and she wondered if they should be doing this right now.
"You ready?" he called. Kate hadn't done this with two people yet let alone three, but Piper was small enough and would remain sitting.
"Yea!" she called back. He pulled himself up, and Kate felt his hands helping her stand next.
"Lean into it," he instructed. His hands on her waist were warm despite being wet with cold water. Kate didn't last long before falling off. How he managed to stay on was a mystery to her. She sank below the water, everything going so quiet for a moment. This time, she didn't feel like screaming—hadn't for a while now.
She pulled herself up to the surface just as a large wave came down, and it banged into her, pushing her back under and causing her to feel a bit disoriented. She managed to get back to the surface and catch a breath before another wave slammed into the side of her head. She was under again, wondering what the hell was happening. Her lungs were screaming at her, and she wasn't sure if she'd get the chance to get a proper, full inhale of breath next time.
She felt a hand catch her wrist then and pull her up. She broke the surface and gasped in air while Jensen pulled the board closer so she could grab onto it.
"You alright?" he asked as she coughed. Piper looked worried as she crouched and watched.
"Yea," Kate croaked out. "I'm good."
"I'm calling it," he stated. "Not sure where that wind came from, but it's too much right now."
"Okay."
"You sure you're alright?" He was concerned, and she found that sweet. She nodded wordlessly, giving a small smile. She'd finally stopped coughing at least. She pulled herself back up, and Piper moved to cuddle against her. Jensen sat backwards with his feet in the water, his back almost resting against hers. The waves pushed them into shore before long, and Kate was still feeling a bit disoriented from the water in her ears.
Once on land, Piper shed her lifejacket and ran to play in the sand. Kate sat down and then rested on her back, breathing hard and staring up at the sky. It looked like rain.
"You sure you're good?" Jensen asked, standing over her.
"Yea," she answered. He sat down beside her, pulling his knees up a bit and resting his arms on them. She turned her head to look at him, and he looked down at her.
"It scared me," he confessed, his voice confirming it. "When I didn't see you come back up after getting hit like that."
"It scared me too," she admitted. She reached for his hand, and he let her have it.
"Can we talk later?" he asked.
"Yes," she answered.
"Look! I found a seashell!" Piper called, showing them.
"Very nice," Jensen said back. Piper went back to digging in the sand and entertaining herself. Kate watched him watch his daughter, and she loved seeing that expression he wore—the one of love and adoration for his little girl. He kept her hand in his for a while longer, and Kate couldn't wait until later.
...
Jensen was smiling as he watched Tavs and Kate entertain Piper with a game of tag on the beach. After a bit of a storm earlier, the sky had cleared. Now, the sun was going down, and part of Piper's ritual was seeing the sunset before going to bed. He allowed her this because she didn't usually ask for much and because he liked it when she fell asleep on him.
It had been nice spending time with everyone today. Tavs had arrived mid-afternoon and got involved with whatever activity Piper wanted to do, which was a lot of everything. Jensen was burning with the wait of talking to Kate, though. It couldn't come soon enough.
Piper had looked both pleased and shy when sang to after Tavs had presented her with her cake. He could suddenly, in that moment, picture her older, and it made him feel anxious. He wanted her to stay little and carefree forever.
"Hrngh!" he exclaimed now when his child crashed onto his lap without warning. Piper was giggling.
"Hi, Daddy," she said.
"Hey," he replied, ruffling her hair. "Having fun?"
"Yes!" She wiggled and got comfortable on him, her back against his chest and her legs hanging over his knees. He put his arms around her after pulling her hair out of her face.
"Oof," Tavs said, sitting down to his left. "I'm beat."
"She's quick," Kate agreed, sitting on his right. She let her leg rest against his.
"Shhh, I'm thinking," Piper said now. Jensen knew Kate was unsure what was happening but Tavs understood. Piper liked to make her wish when the sun went down versus when she blew out the candle on her cake.
"Must be a good one," Tavs commented, poking Piper playfully. "You're thinking awfully hard."
"It won't come true if I tell you," Piper answered.
"I know. I'm just teasing you, baby."
Jensen stifled his grunts of discomfort as Piper bounced twice before settling again.
"I got it," she said, squeezing her eyes shut and silently wishing as the sun almost disappeared. Kate leaned back on her elbows in the sand, her leg still against his. No one said anything else, and Piper eventually fell asleep in his arms while the colors in the sky began to fade.
"I've got her," Tavs said, reaching for Piper now. "Take your time." She gave him a meaningful look, and he wondered how she knew he wanted to talk to Kate. He wondered if Kate had told her.
"Thanks," he replied, passing his daughter to her. He watched her walk away, and then it was just him and Kate. He felt nervous, suddenly, as he looked at her.
"She's so cute," Kate commented, referring to Piper.
"She is," he agreed.
"So," she said a moment later, her hand finding his. "What did you want to talk about?" He felt his heart quicken at the thought, and he swallowed. Her fingers were playing with his lightly.
"I guess I just wanted to check in about...you know," he said, feeling stupid. He was not good at these types of talks apparently.
"The weather?" she teased.
"No." He laughed softly. "Sorry. I'm terrible at this."
"Me too," she agreed. "So I'll just say it. I think I'm ready." She met his eyes, and he felt all sorts of things in that moment. It was terrifyingly exciting.
"Yea?"
"Yea."
He nodded slowly. "I think I am too." The moment he said it he knew it was true. She gripped his hand a little bit tighter. He had no idea what to do next. It seemed she didn't either. Then suddenly, she gave him a shove, which knocked him over, and she was up and running away while laughing.
"Oye!" he exclaimed. Then he was on his feet chasing her. She went into the water to her shins, and he caught her there.
"No, no, no!" she cried, laughing, as she worked to fend him off and stop him from knocking her down into the water. "J!"
He managed to pick her up into his arms, and she locked her ankles around his waist and her arms around his neck. They were both breathing hard from the chase and horseplay. He bent over, threatening to drop her and making her shriek in protest at the same time.
"Truce!" she called. "Truce!"
He set her down, resting his hands on her waist lightly. "Fine. Even though you started it, I'll agree to a truce."
"Thank you," she replied, giving a playful smile. She studied his face, growing more serious the longer he looked at her. He touched her cheek, smoothing it with his thumb. Her lips parted and her eyes closed, and he couldn't help himself any longer.
She made a soft sound in her throat as he claimed her mouth with his. He wrapped his arms around her, pulling her in close, and she slid her arms under his and gripped his shoulders from behind. He wasn't sure how long they stayed that way, but it felt both long and short. He kissed her gently and softly and then urgently and deeply. He didn't feel scared this time.
When they finally did break apart, Kate was looking a bit dazed. He felt the same way.
"Come on," she said, taking his hand. And he let her.
...
Kate was barely in her kitchen when she kissed Jensen again. She felt safe with him, among other things. She felt loved. She felt cared about. She felt happy. She pulled him with her towards her room, still kissing him as they walked. She miscalculated and hit the wall by her doorway with a yelp, making them both stop and laugh.
"You okay?" he asked.
"Yea," she answered. "You?" He looked contemplative for a moment.
"I don't..." he started, but then he stopped himself.
"Don't what?" she prompted, curious.
"I don't deserve you," he said, finishing. He met her eyes, and she gave him a look in return.
"If anyone doesn't deserve someone, it's me who doesn't deserve you," she corrected. "I'm not sure how I got to be so lucky to have you in my life, but here we are." She hoped he knew she meant it. He reached to trace her face with his fingers.
"I really do care about you," he said softly.
"I care about you too."
He held the back of her head and pressed his face against hers. She slid her hands up to hold his shoulders. He kissed the side of her head gently and pulled back after a moment.
"If you want to stop, we can," she said quietly. "I will understand."
"I don't want to," he answered. "Do you?"
"No."
"Then we don't stop," he said. His face was against hers again, and she touched her lips to his and restarted their kissing.
She let out a sound in her throat as he gently rested on top of her on her bed. He kissed her deeper, and she held him close, and it was the best thing that ever happened to her because he was different, their relationship was different, and it felt like something she had been missing for her entire life.
She didn't just care about him—she was in love with him, and she hoped that he felt the same way back.
...
Jensen opened his eyes to find it was daylight, and he gave a start. He was in the wrong bed in the wrong house, and he felt very disoriented. He sat up.
"Piper?" he said out loud. Where was his daughter? There was no baby monitor on the night stand beside him.
"J? What's wrong?" a voice asked, and he turned to see Kate looking over her shoulder at him, her eyes bleary with sleep. It suddenly all came back to him, and he relaxed.
"Sorry," he replied. "It would appear that I forgot where I was." She made a sound and then rolled over to face him, resting her hand on his chest.
"You okay?" she asked.
"Yea," he answered, smiling at her. "I'm good."
"Good." She closed her eyes again, and he studied her. He thought about the night before and how it had made him feel. He'd never thought he'd do this again, but here he was, and it felt...right.
He reached to run his fingers down her bare arm, and she opened her eyes again.
"No regrets?" he asked, suddenly needing to know.
"None," she confirmed. "You?"
"None," he echoed. She moved so that she was on him half under the covers. He accepted her kiss easily, running his hands up and down her sides lightly. She was just so soft, so warm, so comforting. He wished he could stay here with her in this room all day, but he had Piper to look after.
She was making it difficult to leave, though.
"Yea?" she said against his lips. He smiled in response, kissing her again and finding her favorite places in no time. She was just so tantalizing and made him breathless without really even trying. He hated that this closeness couldn't last for longer, but he enjoyed it while it lasted.
They lay there face to face afterwards, putting off the inevitable. She was wearing a very cute expression on her face.
"I hate to leave," he said. "But I'm mindful of the toddler waiting for me."
"It's okay. I know where you live," she replied, lifting a brow in a meaningful way. He chuckled. Then he moved in to kiss her one last time because he couldn't help himself. He reluctantly got up and ready to go, looking down at her as she rolled onto her back and looked up at him.
"See you later?" he asked.
"Of course."
He nodded and forced himself to walk out of there. When he got to his place, Piper was all over him.
"Where were you?!" she asked almost accusingly.
"I had to take care of something at work early this morning," he fibbed, feeling bad. He just didn't want to say anything to her about Kate yet, not until they were ready.
"Oh."
"You took care of it real good I hope," Tavs commented, giving him a look, and he felt his neck flush a little.
"Of course," he said almost defensively. She smirked, and he felt slightly aggravated that she was getting away with it because Piper was standing there.
"Well, I have to get going," Tavs said now, bending to hug Piper. "You have a good day, sweetheart."
"You too!"
Tavs made a face at him behind Piper's back, and he made his own face back at her. Then she was gone.
"Is Auntie Kate coming over today?" Piper asked hopefully, climbing into her chair and getting ready to eat the cereal Tavs had prepared for her.
"I think so."
"Yay!"
Yay indeed. Jensen was looking forward to seeing her again. Very much.
...
Kate was barely dressed when Tavs knocked on her screen door. She gestured for her to come in.
"Weren't you just at Jensen's?" Kate asked.
"Yup, and I'm dying to know," Tavs said, coming closer. "How was it?"
"Tavs," Kate said, blushing.
"Not that," Tavs corrected, waving a hand. "Although..."
"Tavs!"
"Okay, okay. I meant how was the night in general? You guys officially together now?"
"I think so."
"Good! It's about damn time," Tavs retorted, sitting down and lifting a brow at her. Kate joined her, sliding over a mug of coffee towards her, which she accepted.
"I've never met anyone like him," Kate confessed, meeting Tavs's eyes.
"I know. He's a good guy."
"It feels too good to be true sometimes."
"Nah, don't overthink it," Tavs encouraged. "You two...you're meant to be. I can tell." Kate sipped her coffee, feeling her cheeks go red. She didn't want to admit that she'd had that same thought earlier. She felt her stomach drop and tingle just thinking about her time with Jensen last night and this morning.
"Well," she said. "I guess time will tell."
"Hmm," Tavs replied nonverbally. She sipped her coffee next. Kate looked out the window, and then her phone buzzed.
"Ah, Reggie," she said. He sent her emails regularly. Out of curiosity, she'd inquired about Suzy a while back and if he could find anything out, but he hadn't heard anything or found anything. Kate guessed maybe that was a good thing.
"How's the old boy doing?" Tavs asked.
"Good. He's talking about maybe coming for a visit."
"That'd be nice."
"Yea, it would be," Kate agreed. She worried slightly about him being followed here by the cartel, but she shook the thought away. Maybe they were over her by now. Maybe things were fine.
"Well, I have to go check on the shop," Tavs said, getting up now. "Thanks for the coffee."
"You're welcome."
"Have fuuun," Tavs said teasingly, waggling her fingers at Kate before going out the door. Kate blushed again, clearing her throat.
The truth was, she was happy. So happy. It almost felt like it was too good to be true. She really, really hoped it wasn't.
"Auntie Kate!" Piper's voice called. "Come on! You're missing the show!"
Kate smiled and stood, dumping the remnants of her coffee into the sink and rinsing her mug before grabbing her phone and heading over to Jensen's. Reggie's email was forgotten entirely.
...
"Two nights in a row? Won't she get suspicious?" Tavs asked when Jensen asked her to come over later that night and be with Piper.
"She's already asleep," he insisted. "And I won't be gone all night."
"Sure," Tavs snorted.
"I promise," he said, giving her a look. He couldn't stay away from Kate. It had been hard all day to not touch her or kiss her.
"Yea, yea. Go on, git," she ordered, and he smiled at her before doing just that. He found Kate waiting for him on her deck, and he wasted no time kissing her. She hopped up into his arms, and he carried her inside.
...
Kate laid still, one arm under her head, as she watched Jensen breathe in the lamplight. He looked vulnerable in his sleep. His left arm was bent and over his head. His right hand would twitch every so often. She watched his chest rise and fall slowly. He was on his back beside her, sheet up to his chest. Kate was wrapped in the sheet as well, except it was making her feel a thousand degrees. She thought about their time together. It was so different from any other relationship she'd had, and she cherished this difference. It made her fall for him that much harder.
Her phone vibrated with an email, and she reached for it. She saw it was a second one from Reggie and realized she hadn't read his first one from that morning. She opened his message, expecting some smart ass comment about dating when her heart almost stopped. The words she was reading didn't quite make sense. She sat up, scrolling through the rest of the information before stopping and looking at Jensen.
"Oh my God," she breathed, anxious. She shifted to open her nightstand drawer and pulled out her gun before getting out of bed and standing over him. Her hands were trembling. Before she could holler at him, he woke up. When he saw the gun, his face showed confusion at first. Then it was fear. Then it was resignment.
"Kate," he started.
"No," she cut him off. "Get out."
"Kate, you don't know it all," he tried. So he figured it out. Well, why else would she be pointing a gun at him?
"Get out!" She kept the gun aimed at him. Her heart was pounding. He was a murderer. She'd slept with a murderer. He'd lied to her. She watched him slowly get out of bed, his hands held up in front of his chest.
"Kate," he said again.
"You lied to me," she said, ignoring him.
"I didn't."
"Yes, you did! You said your wife was murdered!"
"She was!"
"You neglected to say by you! This says it was you!" she exclaimed, holding up her phone to show him the information Reggie had sent her.
"It's wrong," Jensen insisted.
"I don't believe you," Kate said, her voice shaking.
"Can you just put the gun down for a minute and listen?" he asked.
"No."
"I was framed," he said, looking at her intensely. "I went up to check on Piper and came back downstairs to find Suzy bleeding on the floor. I bent to check on her, and the next thing I know, I'm waking up with a knife in my hand, my wife dead next to me, and some asshole standing in the doorway making a shooting gesture at me. I didn't kill her!"
"This sounds like a very well rehearsed story," Kate retorted.
"The warden framed me so I would be a driver in her race," Jensen went on. "You tell your friend to look up Death Race. The biggest hit driver on there was a guy named Frankenstein. He died, and Hennessey needed a replacement, so she brought me in."
"Now I know this is bullshit," Kate scoffed. Jensen grew angry then and dropped his hands.
"I loved her!" he shouted, his fists balling at his sides. "She was everything to me! I didn't deserve her, yet she stayed with me anyway, and that bitch Hennessey killed her! She took her away from me! I'm only alive today because I held on for Piper, which you know. I'm telling you the truth, and if you choose not to believe it, then you're not the person I thought you were."
"Don't put this on me!" Kate cried. "You're the one who killed your wife!" Her words settled in the air, and she saw the brokenness in his face. He lifted and dropped his hands against his legs.
"I really wish you didn't believe that," he said, "but I can't make you believe something you don't want to. I'm sorry I hurt you."
"You should have just told me from the beginning," Kate said, trying hard not to cry. She lowered her gun slightly at this point.
"Would you have believed me?" he asked. She breathed, thinking. She suspected probably not. He bowed his head, understanding. "I thought not. I'll go, and I won't bother you again." He bent to grab his shirt and pants and pulled them on, bending to collect his socks next before heading to the door. Kate followed, gun still in her hand. He crammed his bare feet into his boots and put his hand on the door knob, giving her one last look.
"I really did, and do, care about you," he said. "I really believed that maybe you were my third chance at having a normal life."
Kate felt the tears sliding down her cheeks now. She felt so confused. She didn't know what to think anymore. He gave a sad, small smile and pulled open the door. Then he was gone. She lowered her gun and sank down onto the kitchen chair.
Then she sobbed.
...
Jensen felt the tightness in his throat and chest as he walked back to his home. He didn't bother to go inside yet. He didn't want to deal with Tavs. He needed time to deal with his anger and sadness. He stood on the beach for a while, throwing stones as hard and far as he could. He felt hot tears slide down his face and sobs trying to escape his mouth. He sank down onto the sand, clamping his hand over his lips hard to stop them from surfacing. In the end, he just made choking sounds. How could it have gone so wrong? Why hadn't he just told her in the first place? It wouldn't have mattered, though. She'd said she wouldn't have believed him. How could he have ever thought that anyone would love him again?
He sat there for hours, trying to forget how much he'd fallen in love with Kate and deal with the pain of losing her.