Chapter 18: Day 14 — The Iron Throne
*COCK-A-DOODLE-DOO*
Vegeta lifted his head up, "What the hell?"
*COCK-A-DOODLE-DOO*
"Are the fucking chickens back?" he murmured as his brain connected. He looked out the plastic window. Then he lifted the screen.
There were chickens EVERYWHERE.
Vegeta looked over at the hive when he heard Hassim and Sugar Petal scream. They both came running out of the hive with their arms over their heads. Hassim's jaw dropped and he stared at the chaos in front of him. Sugar had her hands over her mouth wide-eyed at the scene.
Vegeta started laughing. "HA HA HA! Looks like they didn't run away! They went to get their friends! HA HA HA! I'm calling you the Kentucky Colonel from now on!" Vegeta disappeared from the window and slid down one of the trees not even bothering with the ladder.
Vegeta walked over to the two and stood beside them. He got a good look at the scene from the ground. He put his hands on his hips and looked at Hassim. "So… uhm, what are you going to do now Mr. Kentucky Colonel?"
"Umm…" Sugar Petal started, "Maybe we should feed them to get them away from camp? Then maybe fix the pen so they have a place to make nests?"
"That sounds good," Vegeta said. Then he saw a bird poop. "Then maybe get some chicken fencing to keep them out of our stuff." He put his hand on Hassim's shoulder, "You're on poop cleanup duty once the fence is up, Mr. Kentucky Colonel." Vegeta patted his back and walked inside the hive.
Hassim put his face in his hands, shook his head and mumbled something in Arabic.
"Holy Mary, mother of God," Nathan said, driving the first ATV into camp. "What the hell?! Why are there so many chickens?!"
"They thought the Kentucky Colonel threw a great party yesterday so they brought friends this time!" Vegeta said laughing. He turned back to cutting and flattening the bamboo.
"Please stop calling me that," Hassim said as he wove fencing strips together.
The crew members that had gotten over their shock started to snicker.
"So, what's the plan today?" Jackie's cameraman asked with his camera on his shoulders.
"One, we're building Fortress Vegeta to keep the chickens out of our stuff. Second, Sugar is over in the pen to turning it into Hotel Nuggets so the chickens start napping here and laying eggs. We've already got three eggs today from the old nests."
"Hotel Nuggets, that's a good one," he said.
"What? I'm hungry. Minus Sugar for her meds, we haven't eaten yet." Vegeta chopped the machete into the bamboo, but did not pull it out. "Ok, we got enough fucking strips for now. I'm going to go dig post holes." Vegeta walked into the hive, came out with the metal tipped pole, grabbed a bunch of bamboo stalks and left.
The teams split up. Jackie's headed to the chicken pen. Nathan stayed in the camp. Then Leticia's old crew followed Vegeta.
Vegeta heard a twig break behind him. He looked over his shoulder and saw Freddy and Ted leading a new member through the trees. He noticed the new member seemed completely lost in the woods. Overweight and huffing, he was definitely a cubical chimpanzee used to banging on a typewriter all day.
"So, who's my new jailer?" Vegeta said as he finished tamping down the earth around the pole. He walked over several feet and began digging his fourth hole.
"Randolph Fogelsanger," he walked over and held out his hand.
Vegeta glanced at his hand. "Unless you have hand sanitizer, I don't think you want me shaking your hand," he said, returning to digging. "By the way, you're now the current winner of the weirdest ass name I've ever heard."
"Ah… well…" he tried to think of a polite response, "I'm sure a person like yourself has heard many names."
"Not really. I started the list after I moved here. This planet has a special gift for the unusual and bizarre."
"Just let it drop, Randy," Ted said. "He says stuff like this all the time."
Vegeta noticed the man looked completely done this early in the day and was already calculating ways to use this and this man's physical limitations to his advantage.
Out at the chicken pen, Sugar Petal was tying fallen branches together and using dried out palms from the two old smokers to make nesting shelters. Many hens had already claimed their property and were building nests, while others were still squabbling over others. One hen had already run between her legs and was sitting in the middle of the unfinished lean-to.
"I can't believe a wild chicken would be so calm," Jackie said.
"They are not wild chickens," Sugar said, "These used to be farm animals."
"Why do you think that?" Jackie asked nervously.
"They like each other too much. Bird flocks don't get this big. They should be killing each other, but they are too calm. It was nice of the producers to buy these chickens and let them loose for us to use."
Jackie and her crew were relieved she did not know about the evicted farmers. "That was very smart of you to notice," Jackie said.
Sugar began softly signing a Korean children's song about chickens, smiling and clucking as she sang.
Hassim finished another piece of fencing and added it to the pile leaning against the hive.
"That's a big pile," Nathan asked, trying to get him to talk for the cameras.
"Yeah… we got invaded before the sun came up. Been working for hours."
"Dang, so how long do you think till you are done?"
"Well, we already have one section built," he halfheartedly pointed up the hill. "The problem is making these panels fast enough to keep up with Vegeta."
Meanwhile, with Berapi…
Morning came to the red camp. Nick woke up early and tried to leave the shelter without waking everyone up. But failed horribly.
"What the fuck, Nick? The ATVs aren't even here yet!"
"Becky, just go back to bed…" Michael yawned.
"Fire… Fire… Fire…" Sam mumbled as he followed Nick out of the shelter.
Nick grabbed the sharp rocks he made yesterday. "Sam, do you… ?" He turned around and saw Sam passed out next to the fire. Nick tidied up the sticks and fluff and made sure the flame caught before heading into the trees.
It seemed the red team had tried to dam the stream, probably for fish, but there were none that he could see. He waded across, cut down a skinny bamboo stalk and recreated the fishing spear that was broken yesterday in Becky's bout of insanity. As he's about to cross the stream again, he got a sense of déjà vu. But he had never been here before. He decided to follow his gut and walked upstream.
Nick found a waterfall and some rapids, then climbed the slope. Soon he found a still pool. And fish. Lots of fish. And big ones. Nick ran over and splashed into the pool frantically jabbing the spear. He hit a small one by total accident and tossed it on the shore. He then waited in the pool throwing the spear at the slightest movement. He caught four other small fish and a small catfish. He then thought he noticed some crabs. As he got out of the water a bright light flashed in his eyes. There was something metal in the rocks.
Nick was shocked to find the metal lighter. It was in really rough shape. He opened the lid and struck the wheel.
He sighed disappointed. "Of course life wouldn't be so easy…" he thought. He was about to toss it when he took another look at it. He stuck the wheel again and again, and sparks flew. Nick grinned and pocketed the broken lighter.
Nick headed back to camp with the fish on a stick inserted through the gills and saw the camera crew had arrived with the sunrise. Everyone else seemed to be still asleep.
"Wow! I was starting to think I'd never see a fish in the red camp," one of the cameramen said shocked.
The red team rustled a little bit but did not wake up.
With nowhere else to put it, Nick placed the fish on top of the tarp.
He noticed the fire was still struggling and got coconut husk and dried palm leaves from the ground.
Nick came back to the fire pit and prepared his kindling. Then he pulled out the lighter.
"Where did you get that?!" the lead producer yelled.
Nick held it up, turning it to show how mangled it was. "Found it in the stream fishing." He then popped it open and struck the wheel. "Won't light but there are plenty of sparks."
"Let me see it," he demanded.
Nick handed it over.
The producer looked it over and struck the wheel. He sighed. "Yeah… this counts as salvaged trash…" he said, handing it back to Nick.
Nick smiled and quickly got the fire going. He then put the fish on sticks, not bothering to descale them.
It wasn't long before the smell stirred the others.
Michael woke first.
"Is that smoke?" Michael groaned.
Sam lifted his head, confused at first to find himself outside the shelter. Then he looked at the fire.
"You got fish?!"
"Fish?!" Michael scrambled out to look. "Oh. My God. Nick, I completely apologize for everything I said yesterday."
"No. It's fine," Nick smiled. "I completely understand the reaction to unexpectedly having another mouth to feed."
Becky stuck her head out of the shelter. "How did you even get the fire started?" she asked, bleary-eyed.
Nick smiled, reaching into his pocket. "Found this in the stream," he held up the lighter.
Michael snatched it from his hand. He ran his fingers over it like he was checking it wasn't an illusion.
"There's no flame. But the sparks will light kindling if it's done right," Nick smiled.
"Sam, go fill the water canteens! We're eating actual food for breakfast!" Michael ordered. He then put the lighter into his own pocket. "As team leader I will be keeping this."
Nick nodded, "Yes. Boss."
Michael smiled. "He's so desperate. Good. I don't need to drag this one along."
Meanwhile, on Samundra…
Blue team woke up in their quick lean-to to light being directly shined in their eyes. The camera crews were early, and Jason was using a mirror to shine the sunlight directly across everyone's eyes. Jessica made breakfast with the plantains picked after the fire. Jamal and Casey went to get coconuts.
It was a quiet breakfast, emphasis on quiet. Then as they were finishing, Jamal tapped Daisuke on the shoulder then moved his hands in an odd way. Daisuke nodded. Jamal then pointed at Jerry, who was looking at him and again moved his hands again. Jerry nodded. The three stood up and left with the machete.
Jason ordered an extra crew to go after them.
Jessica and Casey cleaned the camp, silently. Then Jerry came back with some sharp stone shards before leaving again.
The two women then went and began cutting palm leaves.
Again, total silence. To Jason's frustration, no prompting caused them to talk.
Then the men returned with arms full of bamboo. Dozens of stalks, each with their leafy tops dragging miles behind them. It is obvious they were rebuilding the shelter. They dug and planted the poles while the girls were making the woven panels.
All in silence.
When someone needed something, they would clap their hands to get attention then make a gesture or two and then apparently whatever they wanted magically happened.
Jason was pissed.
This show was about talking and drama, not silent DIY. He began ordering them to do their diary videos lording over them the fact he could get them kicked off at any time and destroy their lives with the fine. But each time the person would just make the same gestures with their hands over and over. Then Casey came up. She also did not say anything, but was making dozens of hand gestures.
Jason found his ringleader.
He screamed foaming at the mouth, but she was calm and kept gesturing. He had had enough and began screaming into his radio for security to pull evictions. Casey had no reaction other than a giant smile.
It was close to lunch when the security boats came in. Jason was screaming and pointing, while a large group of armed guards came to the team.
"So what the hell is going on here?" the leader asked.
The group all made the same gestures with their hands.
"Don't make fun of me!" the man yelled. "—"
"Sargent, wait a moment!" one of the men shouted, raising his arm between the guards and the team. He then walked up to Casey. "So, you want to tell me why everyone is suddenly saying 'talk to Casey' in sign language?"
Casey gestured.
"Yes, I do know sign language. My son is deaf," he answers while signing it out.
The two then spoke completely with their hands for a couple minutes with the guard periodically chuckling.
"I see. Thank you," he said finally, and turned to his leader, "They haven't been refusing to take orders at all. Casey taught them some basic American sign language last night. Nothing in the rules against that."
"Why the hell are they doing that though?"
"She said they just decided to. American sign language is by law the same thing as speaking English. So they are not breaking the 'English only' byline in the contracts and we would be breaking anti-discrimination law if we retaliated."
"Ugh… fine. Call Reynolds."
Reynolds was downing his second morning coffee when his phone went off.
"Has the situation with Samundra's latest rebellion been settled? What do you mean NO?!"
The line behind him for the coffee machines scattered as tables quickly emptied. It looked like a fire with the crush at the doors to escape the room.
Conner, however, made his way towards him.
"That law only applies if someone is actually disabled… No, I do not care what their demands are… What do you mean they're all fed up and will gladly get kicked off?!"
"Sounds like they are calling your bluff," Conner smiled, arriving. "Maybe I should resign with them?"
Reynolds glared at Conner. "What is their demand? … Get rid of Jason?! We don't have any more qualified leads! … What's a cochlear implant? Tom does? Fine, switch Tom and Jason out."
Reynolds hung up and glared at Conner, who calmly took a sip from his #1 Dad mug.
Back on the beach, the lead security guard put his phone away. "Jason! Reynolds is switching you and Tom out, get any personal stuff packed you're leaving with us."
"What?! No way in hell would Reynolds give in to something as silly as this!"
"Well, he just did," the man said, getting in Jason's face. "Pack. Now."
Fifteen minutes later a new face stepped off of a boat with security. Casey walked up to them.
Surprised, she pointed to her above her ears before signing.
"Yes, I do have implants, and I also know sign language," he said, signing along.
"Congratulations on winning this round. Jason is now Berapi's problem," he signed. "I am Tom, your new producer."
Casey turned around and shouted, "Jason is gone! This guy's our new producer!"
Everyone cheered and clapped.
Meanwhile, with Berapi…
Nick had returned with two more fish for lunch.
"So they're switching our producer again? I wonder what it's about this time?" Michael said, sitting by the fire. "That fish is really smelling good."
"Never seen a fish with skin and no scales before," Sam said.
"Or a mustache," Becky said.
They see the boat pull up.
"Isn't that Vegeta's guy?" Michael said.
"Oh no…" Nick said.
Suddenly Jason stopped, then flagged down the guards before they left. Then the security pulled their guns as Jason marched up the beach.
"Put those fish down right now and step away from the fire!"
The group looked at him, but in Jason's mind they were hesitating.
It also looked like hesitation to the guards. Their leader raised his rifle.
Everyone scrambled, even the field crews as he fired above their heads.
Jason stepped over one of the dropped cameras and came into camp.
He grabbed one of the catfish and held it up by the stick in the air. "Who went out of bounds?! These fish only exist out of bounds!"
"Nick?! What the fuck?!" Becky shouted.
She then got on her back and double kicked him out of the shelter.
"You!" Jason grabbed his shirt collar and dragged him, "Stop resisting!"
"I'm not resisting! I'm not resisting!"
"Jason! He never went out of bounds!" his field producer said, grabbing his shoulder. "It was beeping but never—"
Jason wheeled around and uppercut his jaw.
The man fell unconscious onto the sand.
"Who ever went with him, on your knees!"
The cameraman and tech came over, hands in the air before dropping to their knees next to their unconscious colleague.
The security put all of them to the grounds and zip tied them.
"Anything else that came from out of bounds?!" Jason roared, fists still ready to strike.
"Umm, Nick found a broken lighter…" a field producer stuttered.
"Where is it?! Give it to me now!" Jason screamed, holding out his hand.
Michael quickly pulled it out of his pocket and handed it to him.
Jason threw it as hard as he could into the surf. He then grabbed two guards who followed him into the trees while the others destroyed the fish.
"Damn bastard nearly got us all kicked off," Michael said sitting back down.
Jason came back out of the woods with the well bucket and had the two guards pour it all out onto the fire.
"What the fuck do you think you are doing?!" Becky stood up to slap Jason, only to be met with a machine gun going off just above her head.
"I am God on this beach! Unless you want everything you have burned and left with nothing like Samundra, you WILL OBEY ME. I am God! You hear me?!
"I. AM. GOD."
Meanwhile, at Vegeta's camp…
Noon came around, and Vegeta had finished tying the fence up and evicting the chickens. Sugar Petal was relaxing in the hammock experimenting in twisting the banana fiber clumps into string while munching on some jerky softened by boiling water. Hassim was napping in the Hive with the windows propped open after eating his lunch as well. Randy was sitting on their bench sweating to death in an armpit-stained polo shirt as the crews ate their granola bars. Vegeta however was not eating. He was making some… aesthetic modifications, to the fencing.
"Are you seriously adding skulls on spikes to either side of your gates?" Nathan asked as Vegeta repositioned one of the goat skulls trying to get the perfect angle.
Vegeta took a few steps back to judge his work, "What? I got lots of them. Besides, it helps with the evil overlord vibe."
"Why are you even acting this way?"
"What? You guys constantly berate me over not making good television. So, I'm giving you good television." Vegeta crossed his arms and tilted his head. "Hmmm…" he said, sounding disappointed. He looked back at them, "What do you guys think of making some creepy headdress things out of chicken feathers to decorate the skulls?" Then he smiled thinking of an idea, "And make them all earrings out of chicken skulls!"
"You're completely insane!" Hassim shouted from inside the Hive.
"It took you this long to figure that out?!" he shouted back.
Sugar Petal laughed.
Vegeta walked back through the gate into the camp.
"Oh, Mr. Vegeta!" Sugar turned her head to look at him, "What about that project you wanted help with from last night?"
"You just rest," he said, grabbing a piece of dry jerky. "We all did a hell of a lot more than I planned for today. Let's just wait till it cools off."
"Why couldn't you guys have camped on a beach?" Randy said, whipping the back of his neck with a towel. "An ocean breeze would help make this next week's heat wave bearable."
"Heat wave huh? Thanks for the tip." Vegeta said, climbing his ladder.
What was originally meant as more sleeping room was now a private workshop with shelves, boxes and baskets. Inside he began going through one of his boxes of bones. He had cleaned and preserved every single one. Now he had his choice of over a dozen animals to choose from.
Vegeta grabs a smaller rib. The bone part of the bracelet won't take more than an hour. He'll have to try and talk her out of another glass flower later, but for now he has a siesta to kill and has to rework his plans for the next few days because of the heatwave. Humans are terribly frail to heat and Sugar has already had a run-in with dehydration. Even he was starting to feel it and this was going to last a few days.
Then Vegeta remembered something. There was a strong breeze last night up by the spring. And fatso was desperate for a breeze. He needed to get him and his crew up there first. He had assumed the game borders were the ridge tops. But if that waterfall was the border at the red camp, he had a bad feeling that spring would be out of bounds as well. If he wanted to give Sugar the day she needed, getting that man to overlook that fact for his own comfort was his only route.
"Hey can you two hear me?"
Hassim, confused, looked around.
"Yes, you're doing the telephone thing again, Mr. Vegeta?"
"It's telepathy and yes. I need you two as distractions. If this works, this week's heatwave is going to be a breeze, literally."
"(What the fuck?)" Hassim thought in Arabic.
"Hassim please think in English so Sugar and I can understand," Vegeta responded.
"Ooook? What is this about?"
"I need the two of you to go off in opposite directions for a long walk. Fatty will make the other two follow you leaving me alone with him. I need to get him across the stream but he won't move his ass unless he's forced to. I don't care what human excuse you come up with, but I need time. Whoever thinks of something first, head out, then the other needs to wait like 10 minutes then walk in the other direction. Don't take the machete."
A headache suddenly swept over Hassim and he grabbed either side of his head.
"Are you ok?" Jackie asked.
"Yeah… he said, rolling on his side. "Just… Just give me a minute…"
"Hey Hassim!" he heard Sugar Petal calling up from the entrance several minutes later, "Vegeta asked me to fetch something out past the outhouse. He says don't be pissy about me walking!"
Hassim sighed. "Yeah! I hear you…"
A few minutes later, Hassim sat up. "Want to come with me while I walk a headache off? Maybe get a confession?"
"Ready when you are," Jackie replied.
It had been a long time, and Sugar Petal was again looking at her watch.
"Ok, it's been a half hour. We should head back."
"Finally admitting that you're lost?" Nathan asked.
"No, Mr. Vegeta only asked for an hour alone with the new man. We've walked a half hour, so it should also be a half hour back, right?"
"What about Hassim?"
"He was to leave after me in the opposite direction. He should be turning around soon too."
"Why?"
"Vegeta must have wanted to take Randy someplace," his tech said. "Only why he'd move if we both were gone."
Nathan smiled. "As much as I want to find out what he's planning this time" he chuckled, "let's take the scenic route back."
Fifteen minutes earlier…
"Well, you guys want to get ready to get going?"
"Wait? What?" Randy looked up, surprised.
Vegeta grabbed the machete, "I'm headed out."
Vegeta walked out the back gate. The crew was ready to go but had to wait on their new field producer.
Vegeta waited for them at the stream and when they arrived, he waded across. But this was the last time he waited.
Vegeta always stayed one step ahead leaving Randy scrambling to keep up with him and his younger crew. Close enough to keep him distracted from everything but keeping up, but not too far ahead that he would have a mental break to remember to check the GPS.
Finally, Vegeta walked into the clearing. The stones were hot underfoot, but the crew wouldn't notice through their shoes. And there was a breeze. More of a wind, really. It was fluttering everyone's hair. Randy stood into the wind with his arms out like he was on the freaking Titanic chuckling with joy.
And completely ignoring the screeching GPS.
"Enjoying yourself?" Vegeta smiled.
"Why couldn't you have made your stupid camp up here?" he said looking over his shoulder. He turned his head back into the breeze and added a few full laughs to his chuckles.
Vegeta walked up to him and quietly pushed the marked off button on the GPS on his belt. "Then you think this would be a good spot to wait out the heat wave compared to our stuffy camp? Nice cool ocean breezes. Get a little hut up here for shade. Nice little piece of paradise right here with the views. I could even build you your own little shelter to enjoy the wind but keep the sun off."
"Yes. Yes. Yes. And yes. Go do your thing Mr. Brief. Robison Crusoe this place up."
Freddy caught Vegeta's triumphant smirk. "I'll start on your shelter first, then. Give you a nice place to rest while we get filmed."
"Yes, thank you. You go do that."
Vegeta walked down the slope in a new direction with Freddy and Ted on his heels. He came up to a cluster of Dragon Bamboo he could clearly see from the plateau and began hacking into a stalk.
"You're acting way too coy about this," Ted said.
Vegeta stopped and turned around. "How am I acting like a fish?" he asked, genuinely confused.
"Nevermind," he said frustrated.
Vegeta returned to cutting down the stalk. He didn't know what fish had to do with it, but they obviously knew something was up. But he wasn't worried. Leticia was always in strict control of camp, and Jason was a beast. He was fat and had no business being out here, but this Randy was given the same deference. Even the sweetest of humans turn savage when their air-conditioning is taken away, the good doctor was proof enough for this fact.
The sun was getting low, but not sunset yet when Vegeta finished. He couldn't poke holes in the rock, so he cut the widest part of the bamboo in half and made skis and poked holes for the uprights. It was nothing fancy. Barely the size of a twin bed, he didn't even bother cutting the bamboo for the floor, just laid a bunch of small diameter poles down. The roof also couldn't hold water if their lives depended on it. The plantain leaves he stole from up the hill were for shade and shade alone. But Randy loved it and had made himself at home before the roof was even done.
Randy's call sign came over the radio. "Yes? I hear you." … "Oh you got the new masks ready? That's great. Turn them on and leave them at Vegeta's first camp, we can handle them from there."
Ted shook his head and looked back at Vegeta being filmed making more skis. "He's at it again…" he shook his head. "You going to turn this into another set for Swiss Family Robertson?"
"You better not mess with the view!" Randy called over instinctively covering the radio even though his hand was off the button.
"Wouldn't dream of it!" Vegeta called out.
Randy returned to talking on his radio.
"So, what's this tinker toy set for?" he continued to pester.
"Frames for panels for the bath. We have a lady present after all."
"You said you wouldn't be blocking the view!"
"Do you see me blasting holes in the rock?!" Vegeta shouted over his shoulder. "Fat bastard…" he muttered.
Then Vegeta stood up and stretched, raising his arms above his head. "You going to stay up here while the crew and I go check on dinner? I want to see if I can talk them into eating up here."
"I like how you think Mr. Brief." Randy said before drinking out of his water flask. Then he looked at it. "Can you guys refill it down there while you're at it?"
"Of course!" Vegeta said, turning around raising his arm, "Toss it over!"
Randy huffed as he sat up and rolled over to face in his general direction. After making eye contact with Vegeta he threw it over. Vegeta caught it easily. He threw the strap over his shoulder and began walking down.
Once they were down in the woods, Ted started into him again. "Never pegged you as the manipulative type. But then again you are royalty that led a successful coup, aren't you?"
Vegeta laughed, "Frieza's chair was not the iron throne. As entertaining as it is, your species is too wrapped up in your own heads."
Hassim was beginning to pour water into the bamboo to cook while Sugar Petal was in the hammock singing and playing her plastic guitar.
"I'm back!" Vegeta called out as he opened the gate and walked in.
"And where the heck have you been all afternoon?" Hassim said, turning around.
"Starting a second camp at a cooler location," Vegeta said, taking the canteen strap off his shoulders, "Our new jail warden is currently enjoying the shade and strong breeze."
"Are we really picking up after all the work you made us do?!"
"No," Vegeta said sternly. "That's just a place to retreat to for the heat. We have a heatwave coming up and humans are frail as hell. That's why our warden is still up there." He sits down on the bench, "He's interested in us eating up there tonight before you get too far along. We'll also be carrying and setting up the new mask cameras to being dropped off down here."
"Where is this place?"
Vegeta points towards the back of camp, "The clearing with the man-made pond up the hill."
"But that's out of bounds!" Jackie, Nathan, and a few of their crew blurted out simultaneously.
"Not anymore," Vegeta smirked. "That place is ours."
"He really did get him to approve it," Ted said. "Played him like a piano." He looks at Vegeta, "And from the looks of it, he had already been working up there."
"Can't prove shit and you know it," Vegeta glared at him.
Then they heard ATVs coming up the path.
"I got the gate," Vegeta stood and walked back. He opened the gate as the two ATVs drove up with their carts in tow.
"Holy shit," one of the drivers said, "You've gone all Temple of Doom on us, Vegeta."
He smirked, "Well I do my best."
"Ok we have eight masks in the two containers. You already know the drill on setting these up."
Vegeta nodded as the other riders undid the straps and place the tubs on the ground.
"All yours then," he said grabbing his radio, "ATV crew to base camp. Masks have been dropped off at Vegeta's camp. Over."
*fuzz* "Confirmed. Masks are delivered." *fuzz*
The driver put his radio away. "All right. Back them up!"
The other ATV backed up and turned around to leave. The driver nodded to Vegeta and quickly followed.
Vegeta walked back into camp and saw Hassim packing up some of the cooking utensils in one of the backpacks. Sugar Petal was throwing down rolls of vines from the tree house. She then climbed down with a crude palm leaf purse-like basket with his stone tools.
"Ok everyone. This evening's agenda," Vegeta barked out. "Hassim, once I get a fire going you cook. Sugar, I want you to sit in the small shelter I built for the crew. The stone is a little hot to the touch and you do not have shoes. I have the kit to make our shelter started. The only thing missing is the roof materials. Sugar, I want to show you that idea after we eat. If we can figure out how to make it, I will be staying late."
"What are you trying to make?" Sugar asked.
"A bamboo mat…" Vegeta said frustrated, "I can't even strip the bamboo thin enough without snapping the fucking shit."
"Why are you even bothering to make that?" Hassim asked.
"It was for a surprise for Sugar Petal," Vegeta glanced at him before returning to Sugar Petal, "But I've proved incapable of making it."
"Don't feel bad Mr. Vegeta. You do too much as it is," she tried to cheer him up.
Vegeta rolled his eyes instinctively. "I'll be carrying the boxes up the hill—" he said, turning around.
Sugar Petal's expression changed to as if she just saw a kitten get run over by a car.
"— remember to shut the gate when you leave."
Vegeta quickly disappeared down the path and did not see her start to tear up.
Hassim went over and tried to calm her down.
As Hassim and Sugar Petal made their way up the steep hill. Vegeta had already darted past them twice, retrieving the second tub of masks.
Finally, they came to the clearing. Once their eyes adjusted to the light, Sugar Petal covered her mouth and gasped. The first thing she saw was the large pool and remembered Vegeta's promise of a bath. She immediately took the backpack off and made a break for the water. Then she shouted after a few steps on the hot rock. She suddenly found herself being carried.
"I told you the rock was hot, Stu—ugar" Vegeta shouted. He carried her and plopped her down on the platform next to Randy.
"What the hell," Randy sat up startled.
"We're back. Nap's over," Vegeta said before walking away.
Sugar Petal pulled her feet up to look at her soles. They were definitely burnt, but didn't know if they would blister. Randy, now awake, got a good look at her feet as well.
"Good Lord, where are your sandals?"
"Michael threw them in the fire the third day."
"And they haven't been replaced?"
"They won't do it."
"Oh, right… that is the new policy this season. No replacement of destroyed items." He points at Vegeta, "But you haven't asked the god of bamboo over there to make some?"
"No, my feet have been fine. He walks barefoot too."
"Nothing about Vegeta is normal," Randy said, now moving his finger to point at her. "If you're staying up here, you're going to need sandals for these rocks."
Sugar looked down at her reddening feet, "I'll talk to him about it…"
Vegeta quickly got a small fire going and Hassim started the rice in the bamboo. It would be rice with cut bananas and goat jerky for dinner. But no fish tonight, Vegeta had other priorities.
Vegeta went over to the bamboo he cut earlier and grabbed the three largest skis. He carried them to the east side of the clearing and laid them out. He then jammed the riser poles into the holes he cut and tied the roof poles on to hold it together as he made the platform. Again, Vegeta took the shortcut of throwing small diameter bamboo poles for the floor. He stood back to take a look. It was the size of two queen beds slid together, but it wasn't for sleeping.
Vegeta then began flattening bamboo into sheets. Then he tied them to the A-frame for the roof. He wasn't concerned about the gaps; this was just for shade. But it did give him a good judge of the weight of a bamboo shade roof for the water trough. It was heavier than he thought. He had already crossed off using palm leaves, though.
"Food's done!" Hassim shouted, interrupting Vegeta's thoughts about adding ropes like the canopy his family used for summer grass parties.
"You guys eat! I'm good," he said, not looking away from his work.
"But you skipped lunch too!" Sugar called out.
"I said I'm fine!" he screamed. His voice sounded full of rage.
Sugar curled up instinctively, but quickly forced herself to relax.
Vegeta plopped down on the platform and laid on his back. He then started making angry growling noises.
Nathan left his crew and walked over. Vegeta was glaring daggers at the partially finished roof, and looked like he was grinding his teeth. "What's up with you?"
Vegeta rolled over to turn his back to him.
"Are you stumped over something?"
"No…! Why would I be stumped over something…"
On the other side of the water, Sugar Petal was watching. Hassim brought over her plate and sat beside her, "Here you go, Sugar Petal."
"Thank you," she took the plate and chopsticks. She continued to watch Vegeta.
"Don't worry about him," Hassim said, "He'll figure out whatever is stumping him at the moment. He always pulls something out of his rear."
She looked down at her food, then noticed Hassim's feet out of the corner of her eye. "Can I see your shoes?"
"Fine," Hassim said, slipping off his sneakers. He knows there is no use getting between those two.
Sugar put on the shoes that were two times too big and shuffled over.
"Hey Mr. Vegeta," she said softly.
Vegeta shoots up, "How did you get over here?!"
"Hassim's shoes," she said sitting down. "Mr. Vegeta, what's wrong?"
"Just thinking…" he mumbled.
"Mr. Vegeta, you did so much today," she smiled. She then placed her palms together at chest height, "On Earth people say "just sleep on it". I'm sure it will come to you." She tilted her head slightly, "Let's just finish this happy house and maybe some happy shoes and we can work on the happy mats."
"Wait… what do you mean by happy shoes?"
"Well, my feet are tinier than the bamboo plates you made, so why don't we make some flip-flop sandals so I don't burn my feet up here."
"That's… actually a good idea…" he thought, picturing his mother-in-law's favorite vacation sandals.
"That's why you wanted mats right? To help my feet?"
"And for a privacy screen… Maybe some shade…"
"Well let's just make a wall like the smoker? it will be good enough. We will only have a couple days until the swap. No need to be fancy. Let's just have fun."
"Tsk. Fine…" Vegeta turned his head to look away from her. "I'll… go cut some bamboo…" he said standing up still avoiding eye contact. He takes the machete and walks off.
"I'll go with you," Nathan said. His crew followed on his heels.
Several minutes later, Vegeta suddenly stopped hacking at the bamboo. "Bulma…" he muttered. He stood straight and closed his eyes.
Bulma was up in a private jet with her parents, Trunks and several others. Trunks was playing with his Godzilla toys flattening a pretend city. Her parents were chatting away with this woman from London and had already invited her to go yachting. There was a butler and a huge Great Dane. A really annoying, drunk woman, tanning bed crispy dark wearing gaudy jewelry, leopard-skin leggings and large sunglasses was desperately trying to butt in on her parent's conversation. A very small Asian woman looking at her feet sandwiched between two large guards that already have their guns drawn. Bulma gets a distinctive hostage vibe from her. The others were all the random assortment of relatives and friends.
"Bulma…"
Bulma lifted her head from her magazine and looked around.
"Bulma… Bulma. Bulma!"
Bulma recognized the voice in her head. She stood up and walked over to her parents. "I'm headed to the bathroom real quick. Watch Trunks."
"Ok, Sweetie," her mother said.
Bulma speed walked to the bathroom.
"Ok Vegeta, I'm alone now," she said softly. She was suddenly overwhelmed by a flood of emotions. He was stressed almost to the breaking point.
"Oh God. Vegeta what's been happening to you? Why are you so messed up? It's barely been two weeks."
"Why are you here?"
"We're being flown in for family visitation day. Remember we spoke that it usually happens half way through the show?"
"Ok you're still going to be here." She felt a wave of relief fall off of him. "We'll talk tonight. I'm on camera."
"Ok Vegeta… Just stay calm. Everything will be fine."
"Oh wait! Do you know how those bamboo flip flops Mom wears on vacation come from? I have not seen bamboo that thick around here."
"The roots, why?"
"Teammate needs shoes. Burnt feet."
She felt Vegeta's presence leave. Bulma allowed herself to worry for the first time. Vegeta couldn't stand being around a lot of people. He was the Prince of all Wallflowers after all. But that couldn't be enough to freak him out like this? Something was pushing his buttons bad.
"Mama! Mama!" she heard a loud knocking on the door. "I gotta go pee pee!" Then a small fist came through the metal door. Then she heard him start to cry. "I'm sorry Mama…"
"Stand back Trunks, Mama is opening the door." She opened it and saw her toddler starting to be covered in tears and snot. Bulma quickly picked him up and put him on the toilet. He peed.
"I'll sorry I broke the door Mama," he gave off a high-pitched wail as he sniffled.
Bulma took some toilet paper and wiped his face, "No, it's fine. I should have opened the door faster and that door is very soft. Even I can put holes in it."
"But Papa…"
"Isn't here right now. And this can be our little secret, ok?"
Trunks nodded still whimpering.
"Oh Sweeties, …oh dear…" they heard Mrs. Brief outside. "Umm… do you two also need new pants or is that not the problem?"
"We're ok, Grammy. Don't worry," Bulma says.
"Oh… Ok Sweeties… I'll just talk to the… Oh dear…"
"Mr. Brief? Mr. Brief?"
Vegeta opened his eyes.
"Are you alright?" Nathan asked. "You zoned out for a bit there."
"I'm fine," he said and returned to cutting down the bamboo. "I need to head back to camp after this. Just realized I need something there to make her shoes."
The sun had turned the sky a deep red when Sugar Petal was clopping around on her new sandals. It was technically something needed for survival, so Vegeta carved it with rocks and the machete while Sugar Petal braided some thin blue ropes into a thicker one about as wide as her thumb. She had insisted on the blue ropes because they would last longer. Vegeta smiled as he cut a four-foot section of the widest bottom of the bamboo.
"What are you going to make with that?" Hassim said.
"Another water filter for up here, so we don't need to run all the way back down in an emergency. I'll fill it with sand and charcoal tonight."
"Since we're going to be coming here a lot, what about a bridge over the stream? Save everyone from getting wet twice a day."
Vegeta rolled his eyes at him. "I'll put it on the to-do list," Vegeta mumbled.
Sugar sat back down and began tightening the rope on her left sandal. "So, about those mats, Mr. Vegeta?"
"I think I got a good grasp on the weaving part. I just can't make the bamboo that thin."
"Can you show me?" she asked.
Vegeta flattened out one of the pieces of bamboo he had been using for the roof and snapped one strip off. He brought it over as Hassim sat down next to Sugar to watch as well. They saw him cut the strip into pieces no wider than a shoelace.
"This is the part I can't do," he said. "They only used the top green part. Not paper thin, but more like cardboard." Vegeta slid the strip back and forth into the machete until he got it under the green part. He then pushed it, beginning to peel the top layer off. Then it snapped.
Vegeta held up the piece, "See the problem?"
"So how long do these need to be?" Hassim asked
"They had them the entire length of the pole," Vegeta said. "But we can at least get them longer than two feet." He tossed the broken bamboo into the bushes.
"I think you're going too fast," Sugar said. "You're not allowing the bamboo to split. But we can do that, right Hassim?" She smiled, holding her fists up.
"Honestly, I'd rather have a lazy day tomorrow. I mean, she has shoes now. And can't we just splash some water on the rocks on the edge of the pool to cool them off to get in and out?"
Vegeta huffed and turned to look at the water trough he had worked so hard for. "Fine… Whatever…" He turned back around, "You're still helping me make a blinder so Sugar can wash in private. Just tie up the palms like you did with the smoker."
"That's fine."
Vegeta nodded and stood up. He hopped over the drainage ditch and over to the pile of stone he had brought up earlier. He picks one up and drops it in the water about a third from the bottom."
"What are you doing?" he asked.
Vegeta motioned with both his hands at the bottom end of the trough. "Soapy/dirty water half…" He then points his hands up at the top. "Clean water half. Because if we bath up here the whole water gets ruined."
"Oh…" Hassim said.
"You think of everything, don't you Mr. Vegeta?" she smiled.
"Ok you guys can head down," Vegeta said. "I'm going to finish this and start making tripods for the cameras. I'll be back before it's completely dark."
"Our group will handle that," Nathan said. "No need for any accidents walking down when it's dark out," he looked at Randy.
"Actually, how about that bridge?" Randy said.
Vegeta dropped his hands to his sides, looked up in the sky and left out a bestial growl that terrified everyone. "Fine!" He threw his hands in the air, "Fine! Fine! Fuck tekee o brayek!" Vegeta grabbed the machete, stormed past Randy and down into the bamboo.
Nathan and his crew followed after him. Then they heard a loud crack and a large section of canopy collapsed.
They found Vegeta in front of the clearing with a golden glow fading from around the blade. The cameraman panned the area. It looked like it had been all cut down in a single strike.
Vegeta slowly rotated his head to look over his shoulder. "What?!" he barked.
"Nothing!" the group said almost in unison.
"That's what I thought," Vegeta mumbled and threw the machete into the ground. It was buried about half way into the dirt.
Vegeta then grabbed an armful of dragon bamboo and pulled the multistory stalks free of the canopy. He dragged them around the hill towards the main camp. The film crew stayed a few yards above him filming, careful not to get tangled in the long stalks.
He came to the tiny creek. Vegeta crossed it instead of following it down to the main stream.
"Where are you going?" Nathan asked.
"After what those bastards did to the fish dam? I'm not doing anything that will lead them to the camp. Michael will probably set it on fire while were all asleep!"
"That's not going to happen."
"Michael acts like Frieza. I'll treat him like Frieza."
"You've been saying his name a lot. You want to describe him more for the viewers at home?" the cameraman asked.
Vegeta stopped walking and looked up at them. "To call that man the eldritch horror offspring of a threesome between Lex Luthor, the Joker and Hitler is like comparing a man in a rubber lizard suit to an actual city destroying monster." He turned and continued down the hill.
Vegeta came to the stream. He looked up and down to see where he came out and spotted markings carved into trees downstream. He dropped the bamboo and walked the dozen yards over. A path had been hacked up the hill and the bank cleared to make walking easier.
The cameraman got in filming position. "What are you looking at?" he said.
"Blue team must have cut this up to those bananas I saw," Vegeta thought crossing his arms. He looked upstream past the cameraman, "If I build the bridge in eye shot of this, the Blue team will do the rest to make it look like they made it." Vegeta walked past him, almost pushing him into the water.
"Hey! Careful there!"
Vegeta ignored him and Nathan and the technician scrambled back up the hill to avoid taking a swim.
"Stupid alien…" the cameraman mumbled chasing after Vegeta.
He caught up to him not too far away. Vegeta was looking at the other side of the stream.
"And there's the laundry rocks and the vines." He looked back downstream ignoring the cameraman. "And I can still see Nathan's red shirt." Vegeta smirked. "This is going to work. Tubby won't be happy, but he could use the walk."
Vegeta waded into the water.
"So, what are you doing?" the cameraman asked, filming.
"Going to start pulling stones for the bridge."
"You're really going to build it all the way down here?"
"Yeah why?"
"Randy's going to be pissed."
Vegeta glared at him. "I'm not risking it closer to Michael."
*fuzz* "Nathan. How's that bridge coming?" *fuzz*
*fuzz* "Vegeta hasn't started yet, Randy." *fuzz*
*fuzz* "What?! Why?!" *fuzz*
The cameraman pulled out his radio, "Vegeta is building it closer the blue beach because he doesn't want Michael—"
*fuzz* "I don't care about their feud! Vegeta you hearing this?! Build the bridge near the camp! If his stuff gets destroyed again, that's the show! Rules said you can't steal or destroy from the camps and only the camps! You're the one turning the rules into swiss cheese, so everything you build is fair game!" *fuzz*
Meanwhile at Berapi…
Michael was recording his confessional at the rocks on the skinny beach as the radio fuzzed unintelligibly. Then the shouting blasted through the background noise.
*fuzz* "I don't care about their feud! Vegeta you hearing this?! Build the bridge near the camp! If his stuff gets destroyed again, that's the show! Rules said you can't steal or destroy from the camps and only the camps! You're the one turning the rules into swiss cheese, so everything you build is fair game!" *fuzz*
Michael paused, then he chuckled.
"You heard that, didn't you?" the field producer asked.
Michael just smiled.
The field producer pinched the bridge of his nose. "Kami damn it…"
"Why? This is perfect," Jason said leaning against a tree. He had been supervising.
"You heard the man, everything Vegeta builds is fair game to be destroyed. And who am I to contradict?" Jason said, standing straight.
Michael smiled.
"I'm going to check on Becky," Jason said walking off, almost skipping with joy.
Michael's eyes widened as his face lost its smile.
Vegeta let out another feral growl.
*fuzz* "Was that Vegeta?" *fuzz*
"Yes," the cameraman said into the hand radio.
*fuzz* "Go get building, Vegeta!" *fuzz*
Vegeta waded to the other side and climbed out.
"Hey! Where are you going?"
Vegeta flipped him off as he walked into the trees.
Once Vegeta was well out of sight, he jumped into the air and broke the canopy. He looked around and spotted his platform. Its edges were beginning to curl up forming the beginnings of a cage.
Vegeta landed and sat down. Once the swaying stopped, he carefully laid down on his back.
He had to keep his temper. Everything today was going wrong. He just needed to breathe… like Panchy tried to teach him.
Vegeta chuckled. The thought of that demure woman once biting the ear off anyone was hilarious, but knowing she could handle herself in an ambush was one less headache. This "high school" sounded like a horrible ordeal, but that Earthlings would combine book education with psychological and physical torture endurance training was impressive.
He focused on that thought, of the absurdity of his mother-in-law is her dresses and pearls ripping into a pile of bodies like a rabid animal. He laughed; laughed hard until he was shaking from laughter instead of rage.
Vegeta let the stress flow out of him as he slowly grew silent. He turned his head towards the setting sun. He was going to build stone pillars to lay the bamboo across. But even if he removed the bamboo, the pillars would be a giveaway. The camp would be safe theoretically, but they had built a fence. Michael could easily talk himself out of destroying the chickens or anything else outside of it. He could even set fire to something and if it spread to the camp, so be it.
He looked up and rubbed his face.
"I'll need to build a decoy. By the old dam would be best. Good and sturdy. Make it look real."
Michael was a psychological predator first and foremost. He'd order one of the others. Plausible deniability, as Earthlings say. Beyond a reasonable doubt.
And being a wealthy noble, he could easily buy himself out of that. Need something to prevent that. Turn people against him, break the m—"
Vegeta sprung up. "The cameras." He jumped in the air and flew to the clearing.
Randy was sitting on the bench putting his shoes back on when Vegeta dropped into camp.
"Where did you go? What happened to that bridge!" Randy yelled.
"I was thinking of a way to build one that can be removed without a trace. I was originally going to use stone. But I have a proposition for you."
Randy stood. "And what's that?"
"You guys missed the last raid that destroyed my stuff because it was done in the middle of the night, right?" Vegeta smiled. "Wouldn't it be wonderful if there was footage of another raid? Would make excellent television, and isn't that what this is all about? Drama, humans emotionally backstabbing each other and what not?"
"You want us to get more cameras?" Randy said unenthusiastically.
"I vote cameras for the bridge," Sugar Petal said, raising her hand.
"I want to build a decoy bridge. More Tiki masks might scare them off, and the camera trees won't be enough. Don't want anyone else knowing like we do, right? Let me bury the ends of that wide diameter bamboo. Could fit a camera in one of the chambers. Give me four days. If Michael doesn't strike, then you can take them down."
"These things cost a lot of money. A second camp is one thing, in the middle of the woods is another."
"It's not in the 'middle of the woods'," Hassim said. "We use that trail every day. So does the Blue team."
"Look—"
"No, you look!" Vegeta finally lost his temper. He pointed in his face, "Either you set up cameras, or I take these down and do it myself!"
Randy did not budge.
He took a breath. "What if I reimburse the show? I am part of the richest family on this planet. What would it be, two or three million?"
"More like not even 20 thousand," Hassim said looking at him. Hassim turned to Randy. "Say the three of us all agree on the cameras. I'll pay for it since the producers hate Vegeta."
"I will call that in," Randy said. He stood up, crossed the drainage ditch, walked through the group and into the tall grass behind the camp on the upward slope.
Randy stopped after a decently long walk. But instead of reaching for his radio, he pulled out a cell phone.
"Hello Mr. Reynolds, it's Randy. Vegeta's group wants extra cameras along the stream to catch Michael's group vandalizing their property again. …No, they want to build a decoy bridge across the stream to protect… Yes, I did scream over the radio. I'm sorry sir. Vegeta said we could lay the trap for 4 days and Hassim offered to reimburse the show for the extra cameras… Vegeta threatened to rip the tiki cameras apart to hide them in bamboo stalks… My paycheck? Sir, please… Yes, sir. I'll tell them sir."
He hung up, tilted his head back and sighed.
"What the hell is a sawhorse?"
"It's like the bottoms of the folding tables," Hassim said. "I've seen them used by contractors during remodels."
"Wait, you mean those triangle things workers cut wood on or use as makeshift tables?"
"Yeah, those things. You watch HGTV, right?"
"I didn't know what they were called!" Vegeta said defensively.
Hassim went to say something, but then leaned over to look past him. "What did they say?"
Vegeta turned around and saw Randy reenter the clearing.
"Hidden cameras will go tomorrow tonight," he said, "No charge."
"Good," Vegeta said, crossing his arms. He looked back at Hassim, "Ready to get these saw horses made?"
"How many do you want?"
"Let's just get two done. Sun's too low as it is."
The fire pit was roaring when Vegeta and Nathan's crew came into camp. Vegeta was dripping wet carrying the two sawhorses, but the crew was dry.
"Made it back just in time," Randy said, "Everything set up and running?"
"Yes," Nathan said, "All the cameras are up and running."
"Good, that means we can finally get going," Randy said standing from the bench.
Nathan turned to Vegeta, "Hopefully you can make the bridge less bouncy for tomorrow so you don't have to help us across."
Vegeta rolled his eyes. "You guys were the impatient ones that refused to get wet!" he said, putting the sawhorses down next to the fence. Vegeta noticed Sugar Petal sitting at her folding table next to the fire braiding some more rope from the fishing net.
"Hassim already inside?"
"Yes. He said he was going to take a nap."
"Don't stay up too late," he said walking over to the ladder. He climbed up and pulled it in.
Vegeta energy insta-dried his pants, lit his small fire, then laid down on his goat skins. "Bulma… Bulma…"