[Author's note: I thought I'd publish chapter 2 right away so there's a bit more content to simmer, instead of y'all being stuck with one introductory chapter. Anyhow, really excited to get to write more Adeleine, she's a gem. Sooooo. Time to see some male bonding… more like fail bonding, Bowser and Dedede are literally from two different planets. Also, note I'm working with both POVs this time around, unlike in A Joint Venture! It'll be fun to get deeper into both characters' heads, instead of just one.]

DEDEDE

The trio left the castle, Bowser, Dedede, and Adeleine strolling briskly through the town, eastward, in the opposite direction that Bowser had come in.

Dedede saw Bowser looking around. The Koopa king obviously noticed it was more enjoyable to see the area while not having weapons pointed at him. But he didn't have much time to acknowledge the modest houses and gawking villagers. Adeleine was walking fast, ahead of him, dragging Dedede by the hand.

Dedede knew he sure must have appeared whipped for a so-called evil king. That was mostly bravado, to be honest - he was really only evil if he got possessed.

The penguin looked behind him. Bowser had a bit of a tough time keeping up, with his massive, beastly, muscular legs, upon which he lumbered like a zombie giving chase to a brainy individual.

Despite the Koopa's abrasive behavior, Dedede elected to be the bigger man and extend an olive branch. Besides, if he was being honest, the guy kind of piqued his curiosity - he was so different from anybody in Dream Land.

As they walked through the verdant countryside, now at least half a mile from town, Dedede wrestled free of Adeleine's grip to momentarily fall back and converse with Bowser. "Holy cow, that girl has a strong hold."

"Enjoy being dragged around like a ragdoll? Or are you trying to lull your subjects into a false sense of security to manipulate them easier?" Bowser grinned against a backdrop of deciduous trees and fluffy clouds, the sky bright with afternoon sun.

"Um… the second one." Dedede hoped he'd stop asking questions. It was surprisingly hard to keep up this bad boy front, especially with Adeleine's innocence ruining his rep.

Bowser laughed. "You're kind of a character yourself."

"Oh, who invited you?" Dedede snapped.

"Your girlfriend, Madeline."

"Adeleine. And she's not my girlfriend, let alone in my age range. Why do you insist on pairing me with somebody?" Dedede sighed, trying to calm his naturally defensive disposition.

"Whatever. You're a real grump, you know that? Here I am, trying to banter with your sorry ass, even though the one with the most social value in this group - besides me, of course - is a 12 year old girl."

"You're very rude. I don't like you," Dedede said. Damn it. He wasn't going to take disrespect like that from a total stranger.

"I don't care whether ya like me, Buttercup," Bowser said, "I just wanna get some food into me and get out of this candyland dump."

"Good riddance," Dedede said, starting to get out of breath as they began climbing a hill. "You must be the most annoying person I've ever met." Yikes. That came out a little harsher than he had intended.

Bowser put his hands in the air in exasperation. "Take a look in the mirror, Groucho. I've been trying to have a fun chat and you just take everything I say so seriously. Are ya cranky like this all the time, or do you just really need to get laid?"

Dedede narrowed his eyes. He didn't say anything.

Soon they had reached the top of the hill, punctuated by a lone tree at its crest, underneath which a stereotypically red and white checkered picnic blanket lay, topped with a few baskets and all sorts of lunch food - sandwiches, rice balls, jelly donuts (which, to the untrained eye, can look very similar to rice balls), and some bottles of fruit juice and water. Despite the variety on display, the amount of food was clearly less than what could have fit in the baskets. At two corners of the blanket sat a Waddle Dee and Kirby, a round, pink orb with red shoes and blushing cheeks. Bowser appeared to stiffen as he saw them.

"Kirby," Adeleine said, "I thought we agreed we were going to wait until everyone was here before we started eating- oh, who am I kidding, we all knew this would happen."

"Poyo?" answered the pink puffball she was referring to.

"You. I remember you. We've Smashed before!" Bowser pointed a clawtip at Kirby.

He knows Kirby? Of all people? How? Dedede wondered.

"Haiiiiiiiii~!" replied Kirby, waving both his stubby arms.

"Oh, you know Kirby? Really?" Adeleine was surprised.

"You 'Smashed'?" Dedede repeated. "Does that... mean the same thing where you're from?"

Bowser paused, realizing his phrasing. "We fought in the Super Smash tournaments. Many times."

"Oh," Dedede said, touching his chin thoughfully, "I remember hearing about those. Competitive fighting, was it? Seems he'd be more suited to competitive eating."

"I tried to stop him," said the Waddle Dee, "But you know how he is."

Bowser leaned over to murmur to Dedede. "So, can only some of them talk, or…"

Adeleine turned around and held out an arm, presenting the turtle to the group. "Everyone, I'd like you to meet Dedede's new close friend, King Koopa. Bowser, this is Kirby, obviously, and Waddle Dee."

"We're not-" Dedede began, but his "close friend" interrupted.

"Call me Bowser. It's a pleasure to meet y'all, I guess. Even if I already met one of you... on the battlefield." He tried to make it sound dramatic, approaching the picnic blanket. "I'd shake your hands, but my hands are about the size of your entire bodies, and plus I don't see any opposable thumbs for gripping. Anyhow, got any steak? Or is it all just finger food?"

"Bowser is traveling from a faraway land known as…" Adeleine paused. "What was it again?"

"The Mush-" Bowser coughed. "I mean, the Koopa Kingdom."

"Sounds exotic," Waddle Dee said.

"So, like, are you all named Waddle Dee even though it's also the name of your species? Isn't that kinda confusing? Are you all a Waddle Dee, or is there a the Waddle Dee? I mean I guess Yoshis and Toads are like that too, but… it just doesn't make any sense!"

Nobody said anything. It was one of those statements everyone just ignores because it's too much work to answer. Kirby swallowed a quarter of a sandwich by opening his mouth wide and inhaling it from across the blanket.

"Holy shit, how did he do that?" Bowser was taken aback.

"So Bowser," Adeleine said, "What brought you here? Was it our beautiful nature scenes? The food? Or you just wanted to hang out with your buddies here?"

"Let's get one thing straight, kid. Bowser does not 'hang out'. I ain't pals with Dededweeb over here, or anyone else either. Just passing through on my quest for power and destruction."

Adeleine was clearly confused. "I… see. My, Dedede, you sure enjoy the company of some… intriguing people."

Dedede sat there beet red, feeling extremely embarrassed to be associated with this buffoon. The penguin hadn't touched his food.

"So did you hear?" Waddle Dee turned to Adeleine. "The Gourmet Races are coming up in about a month."

"That early? Ooh, so exciting! I bet Dedede is gonna win again!"

"Gourmet Races?" Bowser asked. "Color me curious."

"Essentially," Adeleine said, "It's a race involving trying to eat as much food as possible."

Bowser looked at the surly penguin. A slight smile formed. "I can imagine you must scoff it all down with real efficiency."

"Is that another dig at my weight?" Dedede grumbled. "It doesn't matter. Everyone just lets me win because it's bad form to beat the king."

"Oh, that's not true. Kirby's given you a run for your money quite a few times!" Adeleine insisted.

"I'll bet he has," Bowser said, watching the round boy suck in three more sandwiches without even moving.

"I know!" Adeleine said. "You should come back and join in the races this time, Bowser!"

"Oh, great idea, a new competitor!" Waddle Dee chimed in.

"Bowser's not coming back," Dedede said quickly. "He's overstayed his welcome as it stands."

"Aww, Deeders, is that any way to talk to your best friend from around the bend?"

Bowser put an arm around Dedede's shoulders and nuzzled into his face in a really aggravating way. Dedede flushed light pink in anger. Yeah… anger. Or nervousness, or something. This guy just really made him tense.

"Get off me, you overeager annoyance."

"Ha ha, silly Dedede. Adeleine, I hope you're not jealous of our friendship. It runs so deep that we can insult each other all day without ever meaning anything by it." He grabbed Dedede painfully tightly. "I'm not trying to steal him from you, promise."

"It's okay, Dedede could stand to meet some people." Adeleine nodded.

Dedede squirmed. "Bowser, let go-"

"Yo, grumps, I'm doin' you a solid here. You're making an ass of yourself. Nobody is gonna respect a mopey king. I just smoothed things over in a cool way, so the proper thing to say is: 'thanks, incredibly powerful and handsome'."

Dedede pried the Koopa's arm off of him with a lot of difficulty. God, he was strong, and his arms were heavy, not surprising considering the thickness of his musculature. Seriously, those biceps were a bit scary in their raw power. At least they put a knot in Dedede's stomach. Probably safer to stay on the Koopa's good side.

"Oh, Bowz," the penguin said condescendingly, "Of course you're welcome at the Gourmet Races. But I'm sure you're busy ravaging cities and-"

Bowser smirked, unflappable. "Nah, not much on my plate right now. Kind of on vacation really, when ya think about it."

What must I do to get rid of this nuisance? Dedede thought. Not only is he irritating, he's intimidating. Who knows what he would do if left to wander around Dream Land? Stage a coup? Maybe he's trying to get close to Pop Star's denizens to surprise us with a tactical strike. What if he attacked me? Can't say I feel confident I could win in a scrap between the two of us - this Koopa, although a bit round in the middle, is clearly in his physical prime. Thick arms. Thicker legs… All he'd have to do is pin me down under his weight and I would be utterly helpless, no matter how much I struggled…

"Dedede!" Bowser poked him. "Pay attention! Adeleine's talking to ya."

He snapped out of his daydream. "What? What is it?"

Adeleine gestured toward the picnic setting. "Are you going to eat anything? The food's almost gone…"

Kirby was dozing contentedly, sated at last.