[Author's note: Hey. Finally getting into the meat of the story. Gonna have a lot more Bowser/Dedede interaction in this one, they finally get to chat without anyone else bothering them. But there's still some friction, and they work it out in some very strange ways...]

BOWSER

The picnic was over, and after sitting around and talking for a bit, the group headed back to town. Dedede was quiet for most of the trip, and Bowser didn't have it in him to bug the poor guy. Clearly he was already feeling down.

When they made it back to the castle, the sky was turning a faint pink with the suggestion of an upcoming sunset. After that late lunch, none of them would've felt much like eating dinner, and Bowser was sure that Dedede would be glad to dine alone later.

What is this side of me? Bowser thought. Why am I concerning myself over this oversized penguin's feelings? Who cares.

At the castle doors, they all said their goodbyes.

"I hope we see you again soon, Bowser," Adeleine said with a short bow. "Your tales of defeating bad plumbers are so extraordinary!"

"Poyoooo," Kirby said.

"Yeah, it was fun shooting the breeze with you," Waddle Dee agreed.

"Look at you, talking like that. Trying to act cool in front of him?" Dedede said.

Bowser shot him a glance of annoyance and shook his head. "You're one to talk. Acting like you're this big, scary, evil force when you spend your days going on picnics and crap. Weak."

"I'm totally bad to the bone, dude, and nothing you can say will change that." Dedede tried to look convincingly aloof.

"I mean, you did cause a lot of destruction here a few times," Adeleine offered, "but you were posses-"

"Okay, okay, he doesn't need the full story, Adeleine!" Dedede said, waving his hands at her.

Bowser was surprised. "Huh. Guess I underestimated you… buddy."

"Don't push it." Dedede was clearly trying to hide a smile.

"Well, I suppose I'll be off," Bowser said. "Sayonara."

Adeleine, Waddle Dee and Kirby waved.

"Bye…" Dedede said, sheepishly.

Bowser took a few steps away and looked back. He almost thought he saw a hint of disappointment in those big penguin eyes.

Probably sad that I'm such a prick… wait, who am I kidding, I'm awesome. Clearly he just wishes I would stay!

He headed toward the west side of town.

Out in the plains where his airship was parked, Bowser boarded and set course back toward the Mushroom Kingdom on his home planet. As he watched Dream Land fade into the distance, he wondered if he could ever go back there. How would he bring it up? "Missed you guys!" "Just had to come back!" He'd embarrass himself for sure.

This Dedede fellow kept circling back into his mind. Bowser thought they had a fun rapport but the penguin kept getting offended by all his jokes. Why'd he have to be so sensitive? Or did everything sound mean coming from such a hideous creature?

He shook his head. Don't let those thoughts come back. And remember that you don't need anybody.

When he got back to his castle the next morning, after having caught some shut-eye in his ship thanks to autopilot, the first thing he did after being greeted by his troops and inundated by information… was to take a dip in his personal hot springs, heated by veins of magma underground.

As he relaxed and let his sore muscles soak, closing his eyes, Bowser's mind wandered, as it tended to do in times of quiet.

Man, I acted like an idiot, trying to force myself into that poor penguin's day. Who am I kidding? He didn't want to hang out with me, no matter how fun I convince myself I am… and why would he? Who wants to be around a jerk whose idea of a hobby is wreaking havoc everywhere?

The king snorted hot smoke from his nostrils. Wait… what am I thinking? I'm Bowser, I'm the dude, I'm just too edgy for others to understand. Someone with my unique perspective is meant to walk alone. I'm just too much for these weaklings to handle! Yeah, that's it…

"Your highness?"

Drat. Kamek. And I was just starting to relax…

"What is it?" Bowser said, opening one eye half-lidded, reluctant to acknowledge his Magikoopa underling.

"Sire, I've been eager to discuss a new plan with you-"

"Kamek, save it," Bowser said. "Can't you see I'm trying to chill?"

"But I've discovered a weak point in Toadstool's army…"

"Look, I'm not plotting anything at the moment, okay? I need a break!" He shifted and lowered into the water up to his chin.

"Sire, I really must advise-"

"GET LOST!" Bowser snapped. "When I wanna discuss war plans, I'll SUMMON YOU."

Kamek took a step back, shocked by the king's outburst. "Very well then." He turned around and left, grumbling.

Bowser sighed and let his head sink under the water.

Bowser spent the rest of the evening walking through his castle, making the rounds and greeting all the troops that had missed him for the last few days. No real connection of any depth,, of course. They were subordinates, and besides they were all either scared or indifferent, except for the ones who thought Bowser was the coolest. They usually tried to engage him, but he wasn't really into hanging with his soldiers. Especially when doing so usually earned them resentment from others who thought Bowser was playing favorites.

Torches lined the walls of his keep, red carpet stretched through almost every hallway. He had a drink at the basement bar, one of two places in the castle where he could get inebriated. This one had round wooden tables encircled by stools, and some tasteful lava streams that came out of holes in the walls and emptied into a long basin that trailed along the bottom of each of the grey brick walls.

Bowser attempted to chat up the barkeep, to just connect with somebody and elaborate on his trip, but the bartender was busy serving other patrons, ones who were actually paying.

Eventually the king got up, left a generous tip and headed up to his bedroom.

It was almost as large as the throne room, with a few windows that arched up at the top into a kind of semi-triangular shape. His bed was a "double king", a size that was custom created for his massive frame. Its blankets were scarlet with gold trim on the sides. Red pillowcases. No decorative pillows - those were a stupid idea that only princesses and housewives thought about.

He got out of his shell and shackles, even though the material of the bed was created specifically to withstand the wear and tear his spiked accessories would cause. He put his shackles on top of a small bookshelf, and leaned his shell against a corner wall.

Looking around at his room, he felt a bit like all the extravagance of his castle was wasted. It was only he who could appreciate it. Nobody to enjoy its facilities or decor, no one else to sit in a chair with him or have a drink.

There was a closet full of various outfits that he wore on occasion. It was a bit of a hassle to get dressed with his shell on top of everything, but when the mood struck, he enjoyed playing dressup and assuming a different persona.

He had a mini fridge in another corner, full of various foods, drinks, and a couple of glass bottles of water.

There were also a few lava lamps, of course, but these were specially created with real lava by Kamek, who loathed using his magic for such "mundane things". The lamps were about five feet tall, with long bases. One was purple, another green and yellow, and finally a red one for mood lighting.

Next to the bed were end tables on each side. He kept his reading glasses in the drawer of one.

The king slumped into bed. He got under the blankets and turned off his bedside lamp.

Bowser fell asleep almost the instant his head hit the pillow, plagued by empty dreams for the rest of the night.

DEDEDE

One month later…

It was a rainy day in Dream Land. Grey clouds covered the sky. Dedede looked out a window in his throne room and frowned. He was so bored. Adeleine was holed up working on her paintings, Waddle Dee had gone on a fishing trip, and Kirby… well, he wasn't much of a conversationalist.

He spent some time thinking about his recent visitor. The guy seemed like a jerk, and his intentions and trustworthiness were questionable, but Dedede realized in hindsight that he'd also been his typical defensive self, which could be quite off-putting to somebody who liked to joke around a lot. Dedede regretted not making more of an effort to connect, because now he was alone with nobody around.

Then again, what would he even say? "Hey Bowser, I'm lonely, care to take a break from smashing cities and drop in?" He'd most certainly be laughed at.

He thought that maybe someone like Bowser could've brought something genuinely interesting into his life, unlike Dream Land's pastel, cookie-cutter goodie-goodies. Not that he had a problem with his acquaintances, but he never really felt a deep friendship with any of them. He almost felt sometimes as if they just invited him around out of pity, and that they didn't really want to spend time with a king who'd always been a little standoffish.

I guess this is what loneliness feels like… Dedede thought. I wish I had someone to talk to...

Just then, he heard a loud banging coming all the way from the front doors of the castle. It echoed through the empty corridors. Most of Dedede's guards were either sleeping or taking a break. It seemed like rainy days made everyone tired and lazy.

Dedede opened the castle doors and couldn't believe what he saw.

The Koopa king was standing there, drenched in rain, his fiery red hair hanging over half his face. He was shivering.

"About time ya answered the door!"

"B-B-Bowser?" Dedede's jaw dropped. "What are you doing here?"

The turtle-dragon squeezed past the penguin to get inside. "Oh, Bowser, you must be freezing, come in here, I insist!" He mimicked Dedede's voice, but then dropped it when he saw the penguin's face. "...Why do you look so scared?"

The penguin realized his blunder. "Sorry. I'm just… surprised to see you again." The mood between the pair had seemed to soften a bit with a month of absence, at least in Dedede's perception.

"What, you think I'd miss a chance to kick your butt at a Gourmet Race?" He wiped his sopping wet mane away from his eyes, pushing it back over the top of his head.

"Oh, but that's not for a few more days… I'm afraid you're early."

"Um, well... I figured it'd be good to get here early, in case any preparations needed making."

Dedede finally noticed the duffel bag slung around Bowser's left shoulder.

"And… where exactly were you planning to sleep?" Dedede shut the castle doors to keep out the rain, and turned to face Bowser, standing inside the main entrance hall, which was lit at the moment by blue flame torches, creating a calming scene.

"I, ah, I thought maybe you'd be gracious enough to offer a room to a visiting dignitary." Bowser scuffed the floor with his foot.

"That's quite presumptuous," Dedede quipped. "What makes you think I want you around after the way you acted before?"

"Oh, come on, Deeds, you know that's just my way of bond- I mean, talking, my way of talking. I'm just a rough, tough bad boy and you gotta roll with the punches if you wanna roll with me."

"Who said I want to?" Dedede rolled his eyes.

"That look in your eyes when you saw my handsome mug."

"Oh, here we go again." Dedede walked past and beckoned him. "Come, let's get you dry, you're dripping all over the carpet."

"After running into me, I'm surprised you're not dripping all over the carpet."

Dedede raised his arms, exasperated. "Bowser… just shut your trap."

The Koopa beamed in an adversarial way. "Oooh, feisty! At least you don't seem as annoyed as you did last time." Bowser followed Dedede through the castle.

"Oh, do I look pleased to see you?" Dedede walked in the direction of his study, hiding a smile, passing windows that went rat-tat-tat with the rain. He slowed down until they were walking side by side. "I was bored earlier, but I was just about to call one of my many close friends to make plans to do something. So don't mistake my contentment for familiarity."

Bowser frowned. It appeared he'd thought this would be easier. "Harsh. But you can't hide your true feelings. Clearly, absence makes the heart grow fonder?"

The truth was, Dedede had been thinking about Bowser's silly, unpredictable personality over the past month, but he'd be damned if he'd ever admit that out loud, especially to some guy who was trying to bully the approval out of him.

It's funny, it's like he's trying to drag some affection out of me, yet he's given no indication that he likes me. He wants to be the one in control, and I bet he wants a sidekick or some kind of worshipper to obsess over him in a one-sided manner, like one of his troops. Well, it's not happening. If this jerk wants to be friends, then he can make the first move - I'm not gonna embarrass myself like that and act vulnerable over a hunch.

"I think 'fond' is a poor word to describe my feelings toward you." Dedede smirked.

"Right, I should've said 'absence makes the heart yearn harder.' And beat faster. And flutter."

"You're outta your mind," Dedede scoffed. "Aren't you the one who flew all the way from another planet just to see little old me? Who's interested in whom?"

Bowser took a step back. "I… ah... that's not…" He let loose a sheepish grin. Maybe Dedede imagined it, or maybe it was the weather, but the Koopa's cheeks looked a little rosy. "Damn, you're sharp with your comebacks today, Deeds - it's almost like you've been preparing for my return."

"The only preparation I did for your return was to change all the locks."

"Ha ha. Very funny. You have a mean streak, you know." Bowser's tail was gently wagging as he walked, despite his mock pouty expression. Was he really enjoying this antagonistic banter?

The Koopa's stomping footsteps carried through the castle. Now and then, a couple of Waddle Dees poked their heads around a corner to see what the noise was. Satisfied that all was in order, they'd then return to their posts.

"So what, you can dish it out but you can't take it?" Dedede said. "If you're so intrigued by me that you're willing to come back here and spend days getting to know me, you gotta be ready to handle my baaaaad side."

"It ain't like I wanna be around you, just had to teach you a lesson in the races, that's all." The Koopa's tone was defensive. "Oh, and I forgot that you're a tough guy like me. Maybe that's why you can't show me any of that affection I know is buried under that grumpy exterior."

"What, did you expect I'd just greet you here with open arms? I mean, we were in each others' presence for all of a day, during which you were like a mosquito I couldn't slap away fast enough."

"Whatever, I can tell you're happy to see me and that you missed having me here, right?" Bowser's toothy smile was for once remarkably sincere.

Dedede said nothing, and kept walking.

"...Right?" Bowser's voice had an unfamiliar sound to it.

The penguin saw Bowser frowning in a reflection in a window. His tail had come to a standstill. Did I just leave him hanging there? Aw, man, I killed the vibe, didn't I? Oh, I'm such a dolt.

They got into the study. It was a large, two storey room, with tall bookcases lining every wall, some with sliding ladders attached. A half spiral stairway on each side led up to the second storey. Little waterfalls fell between the bookshelves into small, round, rippling stone pools. Dedede considered it one of the most peaceful places in the kingdom, but then again, he was biased. There were two large, comfy black reading chairs in the middle of the room, with a small table between them that had a lamp, a pen, a notepad and some extra space to put drinks or snacks.

"Wow, Dedede, I gotta say I'm impressed. This looks like a fantastic collection."

"What, like you actually care about books or something?" Dedede started up the steps to the higher floor.

Bowser looked irritated, following him. "I can read, you know. Just cuz I'm brawny don't mean I can't be an intellectual too."

"You definitely don't talk like one," the penguin snickered.

"Oh, get off your high horse. What kind of books do you like to read?"

"Mostly memoirs and stuff like that." He reached the top and approached one of the shelves.

Bowser came up beside him, and waited in silence a few seconds. "...Now, you're supposed to ask me what I read."

"Oh, sorry, I'm still getting used to the idea that you can even spell your name," Dedede said.

"Hey, I read a ton. Mostly nonfiction, so I can learn how stuff works."

Dedede smiled. "Well, good for you. Maybe your next read should be 'how to tell if a guy likes you' because you seem to have the impression that you're wanted around here."

Bowser kept quiet. His pout was back, but it looked less put-on this time… Did I actually offend him there? I guess I'm being TOO antagonistic now.

Dedede traced a finger along the spine of a brown hardback with gold lettering. "This one here, it's about 27 strategies to crush your opponents in strategic battle. Maybe you're interested."

"Read it. Thrice."

"Oh. Well, what about this one?" He pulled out a volume. "Royal Relationships: How to Find Companionship While Guarding Your Flank."

"Told ya, I ain't looking for companions. I'm already a full package on my own."

"So you didn't come here because you thought I seemed interesting, and wanted someone to talk to?"

"Hell no. Don't flatter yourself."

"Yeah, right. I bet you spent the last month moping around alone, thinking about how fun I could be to spend time with, curious what it was like to know me, dreaming about finally having a buddy… until you couldn't wait any longer and made up this elaborate excuse to come pester me again."

Bowser rolled his eyes, annoyed. "I told you, I have no interest in hanging around anyone, most especially not you. I'm just here because I never turn down a challenge, even if it's a lame food race."

"I didn't challenge you. You're just orchestrating reasons to be around me. It's kinda cute, really."

Bowser crossed his arms and looked away, red-faced. "I- I'm doing no such thing!"

"Aw, look who's flustered now."

"Shaddap!"

"Anyway, there's zero chance that a popular king like me would have any urge to pal up with you. If you're trying to make friends, perhaps you should set the bar a little lower."

"When did you get so mean? This ain't the Dedede I know."

"When did you become sensitive? Suddenly worried about what I think?"

"I'm not sensitive. It's just a lot of jabs in a row from you…"

"Awwww, the big, bad Koopa King got his feelings hurt, did he? Toughen up."

"Do you have anything to eat or drink?" Bowser spoke gruffly, avoiding eye contact.

"Yeah, I guess I should feed you since you're my guest, however uninvited." Dedede hollered down to the Waddle Dee stationed outside the doors of the study. "Hey, you, make yourself useful and get us some hot cocoa and snacks, whatever's in the fridge is fine! Oh, and a towel for this idiot."

The Waddle Dee ran off, presumably to the kitchen.

"Geez, you're not very nice to your guards," Bowser remarked.

"Evil kings don't have time for wishy washy nonsense like pleasantries." Dedede vowed to apologize to that guard later in private.

"Fair enough. I keep forgetting you're a bad guy, because you look and act so much like a goody two shoes."

"I- I do not," Dedede insisted.

"What's your favorite activity? Filling in coloring books with Adeleine?"

"What's yours? Counting the bricks on your castle wall while the world ignores you?"

"...Ouch."

Oops. Clearly hit a nerve there. That sounded a lot less mean in my head. Dedede started to worry the other king was gonna hate him. Then again, didn't Bowser basically say he hated him already? Besides, apologizing would've just made it awkward.

"Sire, the refreshments you requested."

Oh, thank goodness. A distraction from this trainwreck of a conversation.

They walked downstairs, Dedede carrying a pile of books which he set down next to the chairs. He retrieved a white towel, which he slung over his arm, and a silver platter from the Waddle Dee. He thanked him, placing the platter on the table between the chairs.

Bowser lumbered down the stairs slowly and sat down, not saying anything. He didn't look his normal, zestful self. Dedede actually felt bad about his comment, but didn't know how to fix it. Then he thought of something nice he could do, but he wasn't sure if he could execute it without having his head bitten off.

Dedede walked up behind Bowser, who was sitting in the left reading chair, and took the towel and started rubbing it on the turtle's head.

Bowser stiffened. "W-w-what do you think you're doing!?"

"Relax, I'm just drying your hair for you." His hands were a little shaky for some reason, probably because this creature could tear him apart like stale bread if he wanted to. Why else?

"I- I can do it myself!"

Dedede ran the towel through Bowser's wet mane, feeling heat radiating from the Koopa. "I'm sure you can, big boy, but I'm saving you the hassle, and also the risk that you'll poke an eye out with those spiky bracelets."

Bowser was very tense and stiff, but seemed to relax into it after a few moments, settling down in his chair, which Dedede was certain was now ruined from his spiny shell digging into it. "This is really unnecessary," he mumbled.

"Come on, there's tons of nerve endings in the scalp, you gotta be on cloud nine right now. Besides, when's the last time someone even touched you-"

Bowser cut him off with a growl. "I think my hair is dry now, thanks!"

Dedede backed away. "Alright, alright." He realized that now he was the one being overzealous with the insults. He didn't want to be pushed around by Bowser, and he still didn't quite trust him, but he realized he was going overboard and making his guest feel bad, which bothered him.

Bowser slicked back his still somewhat damp hair. He let out a heavy breath, dark smoke billowing from his nostrils.

"A-anyway… I got us some hot cocoa and some cake. Take some."

Bowser silently obliged. Dedede sat across from him and watched him, wide-eyed. "Did they make it good?"

"Yeah, it's fine."

"Good."

Awkward silence.

"Sooooooooo… there's a lot of stuff going on in town right now."

Bowser raised an eyebrow. "Like what."

"Well, um, because of the Gourmet Races coming up, there's various festivals and booths popping up at random times. You never know what's gonna happen. And lots of visitors from all around come to be a part of this annual tradition."

"Yeah?"

"And, there's lots of crazy food to try out, and games to play… have you ever played that one where you use a hammer to try to make the bell go off?"

"Never heard of it."

"Well, we should do that, and also we can-"

Bowser's eyes widened. "Waitwaitwait, slow down. Are you making plans with me?"

Dedede didn't know what to say. "Uh… I mean, there's days before the Gourmet Races begin. I assume you'd want to do something in that time."

"Aren't you busy with, like, kingly duties or something?"

"No, not really. This place pretty much runs itself."

"And instead of one of your friends, you're asking me to come with you? I thought you made it clear you detested my presence." He lifted a leg over his knee.

"W-well, you did come all this way, it'd be rude to just ignore you…" Dedede felt his face getting hot and hoped it wasn't showing. Why did Bowser have to belabor this already uncomfortable moment?

Bowser's expression softened. Dedede saw what looked like genuine warmth in his red eyes.

"Alright, I guess I can indulge you, if you really want me around that bad."

Dedede couldn't maintain eye contact for some reason. He just took a sip of cocoa, hiding a small enthusiastic grin behind it. "Okay. Don't think I'm excited about this or anything. I'm just being polite."

"Well, I thank His Highness for being so thoughtful and including me in the festivities," Bowser said sarcastically. "How blessed be I, to receive such compassion."

Dedede couldn't stifle a giggle. This led to them both bursting out in laughter. The joke wasn't even that funny, it was just their bodies releasing all the tension they'd just built up.

Despite his misgivings about Bowser's intentions, Dedede couldn't help but want to trust the Koopa. Why? Something about him felt very real and relatable to the penguin, but he couldn't place what it was.

Bowser sighed. He sounded tense. "This cocoa is… pretty decent. Okay fine, I'm enjoying it. Cake's nice, too. My Koopa chefs can prepare some pretty choice delicacies..." Bowser had the look of someone who wanted to finish his sentence, but stopped himself.

"Oh, can they?"

"Yeah. If… if you ever want-"

"What?" Dedede asked.

"N-nothing…" He stuffed his face with cake.

Dedede picked up one of the books he'd brought and leafed through it. "This is one of my favorites. It's about this bird general who flew around in a massive warship."

"Sounds kinda badass." Bowser's interest was piqued.

Dedede went on. "It talks about how he moved his way up in the ranks, and his downfall, which actually involved Kirby, believe it or not."

"Really? That pink basketball took down a flying warship?"

"I was as surprised as you when I found out."

"Wow. What about the general?"

"Faded into obscurity."

"Oh… that's depressing."

"Yeah, sometimes being the bad guy isn't all it's cracked up to be."

"Tell me about it."

Dedede gave him a puzzled look.

"I- I mean, I'm pretty successful, but most of the villains I know are always getting their asses handed to them by some dumb do-gooder wannabe heroes."

"Screw heroes," Dedede said halfheartedly. "Into the darkness with them!"

"What?"

"I dunno, it sounded like something a villain would say!"

"Villainy is clearly not something that comes natural for you."

"Yeah it is, you don't gotta keep insinuating that I'm soft!"

Bowser gave him a once-over. His expression was hard to pin down, but almost bordered on… admiration? No, that couldn't be right. "Actually… I think 'soft' is the perfect word to describe you, Dedede."

"Hey! What do you mean by that!?"

"Nothing…" Bowser broke eye contact and smiled cutely. Well, as cute as a guy like he could be.

Why am I finding his demeanor cute right now? Dedede wondered. That can't be normal. Maybe I need to see a doctor. Or maybe he's acting a certain way to try to draw me in.

"Anyway, I think you're trying to disregard my badness because you feel I'm a threat."

That made Bowser laugh out loud. Dedede scowled. "What's so funny?"

Between chuckles, Bowser replied, "You… a threat… to ME? That's rich."

"It's the truth."

"Let's get one thing straight," Bowser said, leaning in close. "I am the alpha. I am the scary one. If anybody should feel threatened, it's you, my adorable little bad boy wannabe."

"D-don't talk to me that way! I'll beat you up!"

"Haha, you, scrapping with me? That's comedy gold. I'm a fighter. I've been to Smash tournaments. I've invaded kingdoms."

"I could totally take you." Dedede put on a smug expression.

"In your dreams." Bowser stood up, an evil smile on his lips. "But if you really wanna find out…"

The penguin lost his grin. "Uhhhhh… and how… how do you think you'd… overpower me?" Dedede practically squeaked, shrinking back in his chair.

"Well, let's see…" Bowser's tail started wagging, a mischievous look on his face. He stepped closer, his tummy almost in the penguin's face. "First… I'd give you the ol' one-two, like this," Bowser said, pantomiming punching Dedede on each cheek, but very gently.

Dedede felt like the heat in the room had been raised at least ten degrees.

Then, Bowser softly tapped the sides of the penguin's face with his palms, a few times, making Dedede's head tilt back and forth. "Slap you around a little bit, get you real nervous and dazed."

Make that twenty degrees.

Bowser quickly came around behind Dedede's seat. "Then, I'd grab you in a chokehold." In one swift motion, the Koopa lifted him up by the throat with his forearm, but taking care not to hurt the penguin.

"H-hey…" Dedede half-heartedly protested, trying to escape. He was standing on the chair now. Wow, his arms are big.

"By the time you realize how powerful I am, that you're no match for my raw strength, it's too late." Holding the penguin king in his arms from behind, he leaned in and lowered his voice to a rumbly growl. "Then, I'd wrestle you down to the floor."

"You d-don't have to demonstrate-"

Bowser dragged Dedede off the chair, knocking it over, and tugged him backward and down toward the carpet, using all of his weight. The bird tried to pull back upward, but eventually sank to the ground, back against the Koopa's belly.

Dedede shifted and tried to escape the big turtle's hold, but after rolling around a bit, found himself face down on the floor, with Bowser on top of his back, restraining him.

Bowser breathed heavily. He said and did nothing, just held the bird down and shifted his body around to keep him in place. Bowser's torso started to move in a circular, rhythmic motion against him, which for some reason made Dedede feel dizzy and lightheaded, his brain going into overdrive.

My heart is beating out of my chest… He's so warm… The scales on his arms are kind of scratchy and rough, but his belly is quite soft. I can feel his body rumbling all over me... Oh no, what have I done? Is this what he was planning all along? And he tricked me and took me down without even a fight on my part!

Dedede closed his eyes, chin to the carpet. The silence was deafening. Finally he panted, "And… what... next?"

"Your highness! Oh dear, let us help you!"

Dedede opened his eyes and saw three Waddle Dees rushing in with spears.

Dedede choked, his voice being uncooperative at the moment. "It's… it's okay! Everything is fine here!"

Bowser got up off him. "Just a little play fight… didn't you guys ever do that when you were kids?"

"Erm… are you sure you're safe being alone with this guy, Your Highness?" said one of the Waddle Dees.

Dedede stood up, brushing off his robe. He looked at Bowser. "Probably."

"Well, if you need us, don't hesitate to shout," said another guard, and with that, they left the room.

Dedede coughed. "Did you really need to show me your moves first hand?"

Bowser snorted out hot air. "They say it's better to show and not tell. You would've kept talking big and disbelieving me if I hadn't. And besides, all that sugar makes it hard to sit still."

"My guards must think I'm a weakling now." Dedede shook his head.

"Welllllllll… you barely even put up a fight, Deeds." Bowser stopped for a moment, a sly smile forming. "You're a little submissive, aren't you?"

Dedede turned bright red. "ABSOLUTELY NOT! I WAS JUST SHOCKED, THAT'S ALL!"

Bowser chuckled in a cocky, evil manner. "Whatever you say."

Dedede's heart took a while to slow down. "I thought you'd been lying in wait to strike, and you finally had me where you wanted. Are you just here to plan a sneaky takeover, and catch me unaware?"

The Koopa raised an eyebrow. "What do you think?"

"I dunno." Dedede sighed. "You're an enigma, Bowser. Every time I think I understand you, I'm surprised again.

"Well… if you'll believe me, I'm 80 percent sure I'm not planning anything naughty toward you."

"80 PERCENT!?"

"Let's keep that little brain of yours guessing, shall we?"

Bowser's smile was a picture of smugness.

"You're infuriating." Dedede couldn't look at him.

"Oh, come on, you know I'm irresistible. If not, then you would've had me dragged out of your castle by now, wouldn't you? Admit it, you're curious about me. Intrigued. A little excited by my dangerousness."

Dedede didn't answer. How did this guy get under his skin so easily?

Bowser laughed, back to his confident self. "I know you like me…"