[Author's note: Well, chapter 4 complete! It's a shorter one than the last, but the next chapter is much longer again. In this one, we get to see Bowser and Dedede try to communicate a bit more instead of just guessing about one another... Let's see if they're actually successful.]

BOWSER

After righting the reading chair that he'd helped knock over during their kerfuffle, Bowser, following Dedede, left the study and went out into a courtyard. Their unspoken agreement was that they needed some fresh, cool air after that little workout.

"Rain's almost finished," Dedede observed.

Bowser held out a palm. "Yeah. It's just drizzling now. I don't mind this, as long as it's not pouring."

The courtyard was filled with flowers and topiaries, glistening with raindrops from the recent shower. The sky was a misty grey haze, getting darker by the second.

I feel so alive right now. Why? My blood is pumping like lava through my veins, the air is damp and clean and absolutely delicious, and I honestly think I could run a marathon. This is a nice change from how I've felt for… well, longer than I want to think about. For once, things aren't dreary.

"So… I heard the weather is supposed to be better tomorrow." Dedede's voice broke Bowser out of his thoughts.

"Yeah?" His tail curled up a bit, and he pretended to look around the courtyard, when he was really just waiting to hear whatever was coming next, hesitant to interrupt.

"Do you… do you wanna go see what's new in town? I don't think you had a chance to even explore the first time you came here."

"Well, I'm sure it's all a bunch of kid-rated overenthusiastic fluff," Bowser said, "But eh, why not." Good. Keepin' it cool. He was actually wondering what the town and surrounding areas were like, but getting all riled up about that kinda thing was dorky. Right?

Dedede had an anxious expression. Bowser wondered what was on his mind.

"You'd be surprised what's on offer," the penguin replied. "I- I actually find it... fun."

Bowser found himself at a loss for words. Why isn't my mouth responding to my brain?

Dedede coughed and shuffled in position. "Maybe you won't, though. No, of course you wouldn't wanna go to our boring old festivals. There's an archery range in the mountains, might be more up your alley since you're stuck here for a few more days. You could go look into that, archery, I mean, or something else that's entertaining while I go make the rounds with the townsfolk. They kind of expect me to be there. At least, I think they do."

"Dedede, I…"

"Really. It's okay. Don't feel bad. Anyway, you're welcome to one of the many guest rooms, I can show you-"

"Dedede! Lemme talk for a sec. Quit interrupting, ya knob." Bowser cleared his throat. "I… well, I think your thing sounds fun. Don't get me wrong, I think archery would be great sometime, but uh, as for right now, let's festival it up."

"Just because you're my guest doesn't mean you have to go along with-"

"Yeeesh, will ya let me finish? I hate that you're making me spell it out, but I want to do your thing with you."

"Really?"

"You don't gotta act puzzled."

"It's just…"

"Can you do me a favor and just believe me for once when I'm trying to be real?" Bowser was getting frustrated.

It was getting darker outside and that made it harder to read the penguin's face. "Now you're the one interrupting."

"I mean, is it that unbelievable that I can be a nice guy at least sometimes?"

"Well, yeah!" Dedede said.

Bowser lowered his eyelids, suddenly feeling very exhausted.

Dedede must have noticed this, because the next time he spoke, he said, "Okay, that was a bad joke for me to make."

"Is it that hard to trust me?" Bowser monotoned, choosing to let the statement sound like it meant nothing to him. Just another random thought.

"I mean… we're both evil kings. Don't evil kings always try to backstab and one-up each other? Isn't caution par for the course?"

"Or, they could bond over their shared interest of dominating worlds. Recklessness charts a much more fun course than caution. Just think of what we could accomplish if we put our heads together. As far as plotting the downfall of empires, I mean. Not, like, anything else really..." Bowser felt like he was on display at a museum.

"So how do I know you don't want to destroy my empire?"

"Well, you're at least 80 percent certain, right?"

"Oh, I'd rate it lower than that. Why do you even care if I trust you?" Dedede asked.

"I don't. I really don't. You're getting the wrong idea, bud." Bowser turned around to head inside. "It's getting a little chilly."

DEDEDE

I don't know what it is with this guy, the penguin thought, But I always feel like I'm saying the wrong thing. Am I that tactless, or is he just making me feel so nervous that I can't act properly?

Dedede passed under stone arches, lantern light shining in his eyes, and made his way back inside the castle, just behind the Koopa. Night had fallen as they'd spoken outside.

They stopped moving in the middle of a corridor with some big windows tinted with dark rain, still not dried from the afternoon.

"So, Bowser, about your room…"

"It's okay, I can sleep on a couch or something."

"No, it's just… don't take this the wrong way, but I want to give you the room with the cheapest bed, because no doubt your… spiked implements will have an impact on the durability of the mattress." Dedede wrung his hands, feeling offensive.

"Yo, dude, you think these don't come off?" Bowser unhooked his shackles one by one, all five of them - first the wrists, then the shoulders, then the neck. He placed each of them on a nearby windowsill.

Dedede felt like he should speak, but couldn't think of a single word.

"Do you want me to take off my shell now, too?" Bowser's face was unreadable.

"N-n-no, no, no, that isn't necessary!" Dedede blinked rapidly. "Unless you… want to…"

"Get nackers in front of a total stranger? No, but it wouldn't be the first time."

"Uh…"

"What, cat got your tongue?"

Dedede's face kept burning up. It felt like little pins were poking him all over. "I mean, what do you want me to say? Your call if you want to be an exhibitionist, but at least let me warn the guards first, since they already think you're crazy."

This made Bowser chuckle. Dedede was glad to see it, for some reason. But then Bowser's face slowly gave in to a disappointed look. "Where's that sense of humor been? I couldn't hear it over all the insults you've hurled at me."

"Okay, maybe I sometimes assume you're worse than you claim to be."

"And maybe sometimes I assume that you're a snob."

"What? I'm anything but snobby!"

"Don't make me laugh again, geez, you're on a roll tonight, Dedede!"

"How am I stuck up? Elaborate."

"What, like you're open for critique now or something? Well, that's a change. You talk like you're some saint sent from the clouds and I'm this… friggin' commoner or something."

Dedede kept his mouth shut. Clearly it was better that way. He picked up Bowser's shackles.

"What are you doing?" Bowser asked.

"Follow me. I'll bring you to the deluxe guest suite, as long as you promise not to sleep in your shell and ruin the mattress."

"I'm not tired!"

"I am. Once I show you where to go to sleep, you can wander around the castle all night for all I care. I'll tell the guards to leave you alone."

"But-"

"Come on. Let's go."

Bowser walked behind him obediently. Not a word was shared between the two until they reached the guest bedroom.

The room was ornate, silver and navy, a striking combination, in the penguin's opinion. Dedede placed Bowser's spiked bracelets in a dresser drawer.

"Where are your quarters? Just curious."

"They're in the East Hall."

"And this is?"

"The West Hall."

"So on the opposite side of the castle, then."

"Yup. I'll have a guard grab your duffel bag from the study for you. Anyway, night." Dedede waved halfheartedly.

"Good night…"

Dedede closed the door behind him. It clicked shut quietly. He exhaled loudly and started to walk the long journey to his room.

BOWSER

This was such a stupid idea. Just like all your ideas. Now you're here for days of simmering awkwardness.

A knock came at the door.

"Come in," Bowser said. Is that Dedede again?

The door opened and he looked down to see a Waddle Dee entering, dragging Bowser's duffel, with sweat beading around his face… or body… or whatever.

"Your-" the guard stopped to pant before retrying, "Your items."

"Thanks," Bowser said.

"Let me know if I can be of any assistance." It sounded fake. The Waddle Dee left, pulling the door shut behind him. Bowser noticed an almost hidden little lever at the bottom of the door as it closed.

I was wondering how they reached the doorknobs around here, the Koopa king mused. They have their own baby door handles!

Bowser looked around the room.

There was an armoire. One window. A small closet and a couple of chairs he'd never even dream could fit around his rear end. A tall vase housed a fern-like plant.

"Deluxe" my ass. He just wanted to be as far away from my unsettling self as possible. Probably thinks I'm gonna assassinate him in his sleep.

On the ceiling, which was vaulted, there was a painted galaxy, with hundreds of detailed-looking stars. The artist Dedede commissioned for it must have spent weeks working on this piece, by Bowser's guess.

Okay, that's pretty cool though. Especially with the silver and dark blue theme.

His stomach rumbled, just the kick he needed to un-zone out. Bowser realized all he'd eaten in the last 12 hours was that cake slice earlier.

He looked around the castle for the kitchen.

In the fridge, he found some leftover quiche. He gently blew flames at it until it was heated up to his liking.

Spinach and cheese. It isn't bad at all.

Bowser leaned his butt against a counter, eating with a fork he'd found in one of the drawers. He started to wonder if he should just leave now, while everybody was sleeping. Cut his losses.

But he couldn't. He didn't know why.