[Author's note: Welcome new readers! I think some people are joining now that Smash Ultimate's out. Holy shit Bowser is so good (gameplay-wise AND visually) this time around. And Dedede looks even cuter. Plus now we got K. Rool to complete the round boss kings trifecta! I'll probably be slower on uploading from now on since I'm not working with a buffer anymore, not to mention I have a bunch of art I'm supposed to be working on. Anyway, I had this written for awhile but I forgot to post it, so enjoy]
DEDEDE
The penguin king woke up slowly. The air had gotten cooler and the sky was darkening into a bluish haze. It had to be at least 7 PM. How long had they slept?
Groggily, he tried to sit up, and felt a weight pressing down on him. It was then that he realized Bowser was snoozing atop him, the Koopa's face buried in his chest feathers.
Dedede started to warm up considerably. Bowser's arm was also draped over him and… it was weird. He found himself in the "clutches" of an intimidating beast, and yet he'd never felt safer.
His inner cuteness circuits were in overdrive. He couldn't bring himself to wake this proud creature when he looked so peaceful and content. Bowser's breathing rumbled through the penguin's entire body.
Or maybe he didn't want to wake Bowser because he loved the feeling of being wrapped in his arms? That would certainly explain why his heart felt like it was going to melt into a puddle of goo.
What is this I'm experiencing? I've never been so drawn to anybody before, but Bowser is like a magnet, like a kinetic force I can't get away from!
Dedede took off a glove and put his palm on the Koopa's head, running his fingers through Bowser's luxurious mane.
His hair is soft, tousled, and smells so nice. Touching it makes me want to… Protect him? But what does he need protection from? What could I even do for him?
Bowser let out a quiet whiny growl, like a pleased whimper. He smelled like fire and leather, a smoldering, dark aroma that gave Dedede the same sensation he got when he smelled coffee brewing in the morning. Like a white-hot supernova of unimagined possibilities.
Why does his body against mine feel so… invigorating? I feel his breathing, and where his scales meet my feathers it's like a static shock. I feel dizzy...
It wasn't long, however, until the other king stirred. Dedede hurriedly put his glove back on.
Bowser yawned, and opened his eyes. He looked at Dedede and saw his eyes were open as well. The penguin tried not to look guilty as he felt the turtle-dragon become stiff against him.
"Y-you woke up how long ago?" Bowser asked, barely even awake and yet fully alert.
"Oh, it's been a while," Dedede said, winking. "I tried to pry your heavy head and arm off me, but you insisted on snuggling."
"I wasn't snuggling! I don't snuggle!"
"Oh really? Could've fooled me, you seemed pretty good at… it…" Dedede realized how this thought sounded after it left his mouth.
Bowser looked at him funny. "Tried to lift me off you, huh? My head's not that heavy. I don't think you even budged."
"Don't… don't go getting ideas like that!" Dedede faltered in his command of the situation.
"Face it, you wanted to be close to me. Where I'm concerned, you want to be a sitting duck."
"Stop making things up! Lies! Slander! I'll have you thrown in the dungeon! Also, I'm not a duck!"
"Yeah right. You don't even have a dungeon. Hella weak, by the way." Bowser seemed to notice then that he was still lying on the penguin, and quickly sat up, yawning ferociously, causing Dedede to startle a bit. "Seriously, though, how long were we out for?"
"...Quite a bit." Dedede rubbed his eyes. "I think it's well past suppertime."
"Aw man, I missed dinner to cuddle with you? …By accident… Because I rolled over in my sleep?" Bowser had his tail in his hands. Why did he suddenly look guilty?
Dedede stretched out his arms. "Relax, I can get us food."
"Weren't we supposed to meet Adeleine and Wanda?" Bowser said. "At The Grape Garden?"
"Whatever. They can take care of themselves. Besides, I'm starving."
A firefly sparked into existence momentarily.
"Nah, it's rude to bail on an invitation," Bowser remarked, clearing his throat.
"What, now you're teaching me etiquette?"
"I got a lot to teach you, pal." Bowser gave him a squeeze in the love handle region.
Dedede let out a little flustered yelp. "Alright, alright, we'll go see them."
Dedede and Bowser entered the bar. It was jam-packed, unlike this morning, and they heard Adeleine and Wanda calling their names. They sat down at a table, with two seats saved for them, next to one another.
"About time you showed up," Wanda said. "We thought you ditched us."
"I did find my head in a ditch, at one point," Bowser joked anxiously.
Dedede rolled his eyes. "Sorry. We fell asleep."
"Typical. Leave two lazy boys alone for a minute and they're in bed together."
"We- we weren't in bed together, and we're not lazy!" Dedede protested, blushing.
"Don't get so defensive, Dedede, you'll just fuel her," Bowser said, also a bit redder than usual.
Wanda laughed. "Whatever… Adeleine and I were actually about to leave after these drinks."
Adeleine raised a half-empty glass of apple cider. "Sorry, we waited as long as we could."
"It's okay," Bowser said, making an exaggerated sigh. "I guess I'll just entertain our resident grump by myself."
Dedede gave him an annoyed glance. I wish "grump" weren't the single thing people declared me to be. And what, does that mean he's already sick of spending so much time around me? Or am I just being oversensitive? Maybe he's just joking. He does like to joke. I need to calm down. Why do I suddenly care so much what he thinks? He just inserted himself into my life at random and I'm acting like he's my ruler. Although, maybe it would be nice to let someone else take the reins for once… wait, what am I even thinking?
"Yooooo… earth to Dedede," Bowser said, waving a big hand in front of the penguin's face. "The lights are on, but nobody's home."
"Uh…" Dedede realized he needed to stop getting lost in thought. Easier said than done.
"Order a beverage, ya knob," Wanda urged.
Bowser requested a chocolate stout, and Dedede asked for some wine again. The four chatted for a bit, the kings asking the women how their art show went, and the ladies asking them how their nap together went, making sure to embarrass them as much as possible before leaving. Eventually, they saw themselves out, and the duo were alone once again, but surrounded by people this time. A busser came to clear the table of the girls' empty glasses.
"Well, I'm still feeling a little groggy," Dedede said, gingerly leaning his head on Bowser's arm.
"W-what do you think you're doing?"
"Apparently this is how kings are supposed to act. I'm just following your lead."
"Yeah, well, follow another," Bowser said, flushed, nudging Dedede's head off of him.
"I thought I was the resident grump," Dedede said, not sure why being pushed away cut into his stomach like an icicle. Then again... there were a lot of people around. Oh dear, did anyone see that? I'm such a dweeb.
"Don't sass me. I'll cook you to a crisp with my fire breath." The Koopa had a satisfied smile and half-lidded eyes, indicating that he was enjoying this banter more than he let on.
"You wouldn't," Dedede said. "You like me too much."
"N-now you're just being silly," Bowser said, his voice wavering.
"It was you, not me, who was desperate for a Dedede pillow."
"Yeah, well, you liked it." He turned away, and Dedede thought he could see him hiding a mischievous expression.
Bowser gave off the air of a kid who was trapped in an adult body, just wanting to take every moment as it was and be fully present in it, sculpting every second to his liking with as much force as he could get away with exerting.
Not like Dedede. He was a serious, stuffy worrywart, always in his head, wondering what he did wrong most recently, or a decade ago. Always with the trains of thought that interrupted his reasoning and took over his faculties, until he imploded a little inside, and everything blipped away until the next time.
After only a couple days spent knowing Bowser, Dedede noticed he felt different around him. Like Bowser's way of seeing the world dominated his, and he empathetically understood the Koopa, wanting to be like him, a more free spirit, less repressed.
Crazy, the emotions that he's stirring up just by being here.
They had finished their drinks rather quickly. The server noticed this and came over to ask if they wanted more.
"Yeah," Bowser said. "Put his on my tab."
"What are you doing?" Dedede questioned.
"Buying you a drink, dumbass."
"Ah, well… thanks?" The penguin felt a bit like he was on a date, all of a sudden. The feeling hit him in the gut. Not that he knew what being on a date was like, but the sensation still felt visceral.
Before, everything they did together was sort of… random. Whatever was happening in Dream Land at the time, they just did it because it was there. The picnic. The fair. The Gourmet Race, soon. And all of it mostly involved other people. Being at the castle together didn't really count, since they were both staying there anyway. They never made specific plans to be at home base.
But this… this was not in the script. Something about Bowser buying him a drink felt… official. As if the line had finally been crossed between acquaintance and… friend. The Koopa was basically saying, 'We're here, and we don't need anyone else. Just sitting at a table and talking to you alone is a fine way to spend the evening.' Dedede shouldn't have felt so excited, but he did.
It didn't help that, while buying a friend a drink was a perfectly common gesture, the action of purchasing consumables for somebody always had a bit of a romantic feel to it. The husband buys his wife dinner at a nice restaurant. 'I care about you so much that I want you to be comfortable, even if you don't need this to survive. I like you so much I want to give you unnecessary pleasures.'
It wasn't as if nobody had ever done anything nice for Dedede... but this time, it felt like he'd had to work to get this to happen. He'd had to earn this friendship. To break down their respective walls and see eye to eye. He remembered how badly their first meeting went, the subsequent misunderstandings, and how he'd thought that he blew it so many times. But his conflicting feelings about the turtle didn't help matters - for every urge to be near him, an equal urge arose to push him away. Bowser's overwhelming charisma and style were competing with the fact that he was brash, maddening, and probably dangerous too. The relationship already felt like a competition sometimes, and perhaps an ill-advised one at that... but then again, Dedede couldn't remember a time when he felt so alive, so curious about the future.
And of course it would be Bowser making the decisions and guiding the night. What if Dedede didn't want to stay out? He did, of course, but that wasn't the point. Part of him liked Bowser making choices for him, and part of him didn't. It simultaneously made Dedede feel important, and yet like… a sidekick.
Suddenly Dedede realized he was just thinking in circles again, sentence fragments and flashes of emotion bouncing around inside his head like it was a broken pinball machine. He wondered how long he'd been silent, glancing over at the Koopa king, who was looking bored.
I'm going crazy… gotta stop treating everything Bowser does as if it's a thunderclap from the clouds. He probably just wants to repay me for hosting and feeding him. Not that I wanted any repayment...
Their beverages arrived. Bowser held up his glass.
"Cheers," he said.
"Cheers," echoed Dedede, tapping his glass against Bowser's.
"You must be tired," Bowser said, sipping his booze.
"Not really, why?"
"You're so distracted."
Dedede sighed. "Sorry… that's just how I am. It's not that I'm not paying attention on purpose, my mind just… works overtime."
"Whoa, I... didn't expect a sincere response," Bowser replied, scratching his head and pausing for a moment, before continuing. "It's fine, I know I'm... a lot. It's probably normal if you need to regroup once in awhile."
Dedede cleared his throat, feeling uncomfortable and embarrassed. "It's not... It's not you," he lied.
"Then what is it?" Bowser almost looked disappointed to hear that he (ostensibly) wasn't the subject of Dedede's thoughts.
"Just… royalty problems. I'm sure you know the drill, so I won't bore you. Point is, I'm not tired at all."
"Fine. Keep me in the dark. Grogginess aside, I'm not really sleepy either," the Koopa said.
"Yeah," replied Dedede, "I guess that's what happens when you nap for hours."
"You know what this means," Bowser grinned.
"What?" Dedede felt silly because he couldn't help mirroring Bowser's smile.
"We're gonna party tonight, you and me. Not like we're getting to sleep until the wee hours now anyway."
"Alright," Dedede chuckled. "Sounds like fun."
For as muted as his response was, inside his body the penguin felt adrenaline surging. He isn't sick of me at all... quite the opposite!
BOWSER
After spending an hour or two more in the bar, Dedede and Bowser stumbled out the door, beyond tipsy, arms around each other, and carefully made their way back up to the castle. Drinking that much on empty stomachs had been… an idea.
Two Waddle Dees manned the entrance, opening the doors for them.
"Late night tonight, sire?"
"Yeah… laaaate," Dedede slurred. The kings looked at each other and giggled, red-faced.
The Waddle Dees exchanged curious looks.
Inside the castle, they continued laughing, half-walking and half-running through the halls to the kitchen.
They clambered along, bumping into tables, tripping over the corners of carpets.
"Shhhhh," Dedede put a finger up in front of Bowser's lips, "We're gonna wake the whole army if we're not quiet!"
"Okay, okay," Bowser whispered, making a mock attempt to chomp the penguin's finger, his fangs clicking loudly.
This made Dedede laugh again, a sound that Bowser was starting to become fond of. He was also hearing it more often, and seeing Dedede smile more, which made him feel warm inside.
They got into the kitchen and Dedede turned on the lights, opening the fridge.
"What are we gonna eat? I'm starving."
Bowser came up behind him, putting his head on Dedede's shoulder to see what was in the refrigerator. "How about that lasagna?"
"It's a few days old… ah, well, I'm sure it's fine." Dedede removed it from the fridge and put it in the microwave.
Bowser looked inside, rifled through and found some whipped cream. He snuck up behind Dedede and tapped him on the shoulder.
Dedede turned around just in time to get a jet of whipped cream sprayed all over his chest.
"What's the big idea!?" the penguin exclaimed.
Bowser laughed maniacally. "My plot for Dedede domination has begun! First step is to mark my target." He took a clawtip and traced a big X symbol in the creamy mess.
"Very funny! But you came to this battle unprepared," the penguin snarked, yanking the pressurized bottle from Bowser's hand. "You left yourself open for a counterattack."
Sssssssscccccccchhhhh. Dedede made a heart shape on Bowser's midsection, all the way up to just under his throat.
"Drat! Foiled again!" Bowser looked down. "Yoooo, why did you make a heart? Do you have a crush on me or something?" The Koopa's cheeks started burning.
Dedede looked distressed. "Don't be s-so foolish! Hearts are one of the most important symbols of Dream Land, along with stars… which are really hard to draw."
"A heart is your national emblem?" Bowser snorted. "I can't believe it, I'm visiting the sappy capital of the universe!"
"Hey! Unlike you, we don't walk around with a permanent snarl on our faces!"
"That's not fair. I smile all the time!" Bowser demonstrated, showing his pearly whites.
"When you're mocking me."
"Well, what can I say. You make a great mockingbird."
"Yeah, and you put the hell back in shell!"
"Is… is that seriously the best you got?" Bowser said. "I'm disappointed, Deedee."
"Do not call me that. Anyway, you clearly just aren't smart enough to get my humor."
Bowser cracked a sideways smirk, crossing his arms. "If smarts are what I need to find your jokes funny, then ignorance... is bliss!"
Dedede pouted.
The Koopa king looked over his host. He licked his lips.
"Wh-why are you staring at me that way?" Dedede asked.
"It's just, I'm awful hungry, that lasagna's taking forever, and I really feel it's a shame to waste all that whipped cream…"
Dedede took a step backward, bumping into the fridge. "D-don't eat me! I'm mostly air!"
Bowser swooped in, clutched the trembling Dedede by his sides and took a loud slurp of the white disaster he'd created, his big tongue dragging up along the bird's torso.
"Aaack!" Dedede almost fell backwards, grabbing onto the Koopa's shell spikes for balance. "Y-you're crazy!"
"Ain't that what you love about me?" Bowser nuzzled his snout in again, his tongue leaving a trail of saliva, before pulling it back, his face covered with whipped cream now. "You taste like chicken."
"Shaddap!" Dedede panted, taking quick, shallow breaths. "I'm not a snack!"
They were both beet red, but that was just the alcohol… right?
The Koopa licked off another large smattering of cream, making small, soft nibbles into his flesh. Dedede wiggled, and choked out a resisted laugh. He was clearly a smidge ticklish.
"You're right…" Bowser pulled back, standing up straight, palms still cupping the penguin. "You're not a snack. You're a full-course meal."
Bowser looked into Dedede's eyes. They paused, still holding onto one another.
Then Dedede burst into laughter, putting his head on Bowser's chest. "You're absolutely covered in that stuff now."
Bowser looked him over, as the penguin lifted his head up again. "So are you," the Koopa said. "I thought my mouth would have helped with that…"
"I thought you were about to make me your dinner," Dedede said, looking sheepish.
The Koopa sighed. "Do ya seriously believe I'm like that? Have a little faith..."
"With the way you act sometimes, you can't blame me!"
"Hmmph." Bowser loosened his grip.
Dedede jumped out of Bowser's hold and hurriedly went over to the sink, as if he were trying to hide his face. He grabbed a clean tea towel and got it wet, then returned to Bowser and started cleaning him off.
"Whoa! Your pecs are pretty, um, solid… do you work out or something?" Dedede sounded impressed, and a little intimidated, which turned Bowser on a tad.
It's normal to love hearing that, right?
"I have my own gym at my castle." He flexed his arms.
"I knew it! I knew that despite your little paunch, you were too vain not to exercise."
"Whoa, whoa, vain, me? It's not vanity if you're genuinely the best." Then the other part of the sentence sunk in. "...Paunch?"
Dedede poked him in the stomach. "Yeah, we've all noticed."
"You little…"
They exchanged another whipped cream-covered gaze. This moment felt really intense to Bowser. Almost too much to handle. His heart was pounding as Dedede continued to clean off the Koopa's torso, both of them quiet.
Bowser returned the favor after the other king was done wiping him down.
"You must have sprayed my entire chest," the drunken penguin remarked.
"Alcohol messed me up. I was aiming for your face," Bowser said, too drunk to immediately understand what he was revealing by saying that, considering what he did after making the mess. He suddenly felt hot.
Dedede's eyes glazed over. "Wait… so then... were you planning on tonguing my face instead?"
Bowser coughed. "UH, so, is that lasagna ready!?"
Dedede blinked. "CRAP!" He ran to the microwave and opened it, smoke fuming out of the door.
"What happened?"
"I think instead of three minutes, I set it to thirty," the other king replied.
This brought them into hysterics once again. Bowser thought about how funny everything is when you're messed up. Not like being sober, when everything was so… sobering. When they calmed down, Dedede suggested they eat some cereal instead, which they did, sitting on the counters.
"So lemme get this straight," Bowser mumbled through a mouthful of cereal, "Whatever Kirby eats, he turns into?"
"That's right." Dedede wiped his face with a napkin. "It's his Copy Ability."
"So if he ate Adeleine, he'd become a painter?"
"Yeah, I think so."
"And if he ate a Waddle Doo, he could shoot sparks?"
"Pretty much."
"Can he do that with everything?"
"Not quite. I still haven't seen him turn into a sandwich yet."
"What would happen if he ate one of us?"
Dedede stopped chewing, his face contorting in horror. "I dunno, but now I'm scared he's gonna try!"
"I don't wanna be the first to find out," Bowser said, biting his lip. "You gotta take one for the team."
"Didn't you fight him in the Smash tournaments already? Hasn't he tried to suck you in before?"
"Yeah, but like… well, first off, the last time I Smashed was a long time ago, so it's a bit foggy, and secondly, when you're Smashing, you're not really yourself." Bowser let out a small hiccough.
"What?"
"It's like, you go into this stasis, and a trophy of you is created, then the trophy does the fighting… you feel everything that happens, but even if you die, you don't actually die."
"That sounds confusing."
"Well, we're drunk, after all. Regardless, if it did happen, he just spat me out afterward and stole my fire breath. I don't remember, though, considering I am pretty sure I won all of my matches. And it all kinda bleeds together in my mind since it wasn't really me, and there were so many fights… But the point is, I dunno what it's like when it really happens. That's why you need to do the research for me." Bowser hoped Dedede was too inebriated to notice him contradicting himself.
"I already had someone try and eat me," Dedede said, pointing at Bowser with his spoon, accidentally flicking some milk in the Koopa's face. "And you're always pushing me around in one way or another… For crying out loud, is there some pheromone I give off, or something about me that screams 'prey'?
The Koopa didn't miss a beat. "I think it's either your poultry-like flavor, or your submissive behavior… hey, that rhymes."
"I t-told you I'm not submissive!"
"Yeah you are!" Bowser winked.
"You're just a big bully, you know that?" Dedede crossed his arms.
"That's right. Maybe next time I see Kirby open his mouth, I'll push you in. For science."
"I'm not going in there! If you're so curious, you go!"
"No way. What if I got trapped?""
"Then... I'll eat cereal with fire breath Kirby, and everyone will live happily ever after."
"Except ME! But it's a moot point. I'm about ten times his size. He couldn't fit me in his mouth, especially with my spikes."
"I've seen Kirby swallow things much bigger than you. And he's as flexible as putty, so you wouldn't puncture him, I think."
"D-don't joke about that! This is serious!" Bowser put down his bowl and clenched the edge of the counter tightly.
"It's the truth."
"I'm never hanging around that pink freak again! Why would you bring me near such a dangerous threat!?"
"Kirby is a threat, but I'm not!?"
"Well, no, you're like the star of the bedtime stories I read to my kid. Totally gentle and muted."
Dedede blushed slightly. "I- I don't know if that's a compliment or an insult, but shove it!" He paused, a look of realization dawning in his eyes. "Wait, you have a kid?"
"Yup. My pride and joy, Bowser Jr."
Dedede looked disappointed, perplexingly. "So his mother is…"
A flurry of thoughts and emotions hit him. Bowser exhaled some smoke. He didn't mean to, it was an accident. He saw Dedede flinch, and said, "I… don't want to talk about it."
"O-okay. Sorry." Dedede appeared relieved, maybe because he wasn't about to get flame-broiled.
I hope Junior is doing okay right now, Bowser thought. Kamek hates babysitting, but whatever. Daddy needs to have a life sometimes.
Silence. Then Dedede got up, took his and Bowser's bowls and, after nearly tripping on his own robe twice, started washing them in the sink.
"Don't you have people to do that for you?" Bowser asked.
"Yes, but I'm here right now and it's not nice to wake up to a bunch of dishes to clean." After putting the bowls and spoons in a drying rack, he grabbed the container the lasagna was in. It was burnt and caked together. "This one can go in the garbage."
"Deeds, quit cleaning and come pay attention to me again."
Dedede dropped the container into a bin and hopped back up on a counter to face the reptile. "Jeez, you're needy. Attention granted."
"Uhhhhh, I don't even remember what I was going to say now."
"Doofus."
"Well, who's doofus-er, the doofus, or the guy who thinks the doofus is good company?"
"I'd say it's the one who is drunk enough to use words like 'doofus-er.'"
"I'm not drunk, you're drunk."
"Can't you see I'm basically sober?" Dedede jumped down to the floor and nearly lost his balance. "Whoa… standing is hard."
"I told you," Bowser snickered.
Dedede stumbled over and instinctively reached out, his palms landing on Bowser's thighs.
Instantly, electrical signals shot through the Koopa. He actually felt a pulse of… arousal? For a split second. He shook his head.
"What?" Dedede looked up at him, with glassy eyes.
Bowser avoided his gaze. "N-n-nothing, everything's absolutely fine!"
"Weirdo."
"I'm not weird, you're weird."
Dedede laid his head down on Bowser's leg. "Sooooooooo sleepy…"
"That's the wine talking. And you can't sleep there," Bowser said, blushing.
"Why not? You used me as a pillow earlier today!"
"Okay, fair enough, but your positioning… what happens if I fall asleep too? You're gonna get a rude awakening."
"How so?"
"When my morning wood pokes out an eye, idiot!" Bowser blurted out uncomfortably.
Dedede shot his head up, embarrassed. "I- I get your point!"
Bowser breathed a sigh of relief. To tell the truth, he couldn't accept it, but the penguin grazing his inner thigh, and breathing on it… it made him throb. And Dedede's face had been right there.
"Let's go hang out in my room," said the penguin.
"You realize, that following my morning wood comment with an invite to your quarters is kinda suggestive?"
"I'm not suggestive, you're suggestive," Dedede grumbled.
"I suggest you watch your tone when you're talking to a big bad boss like myself. Might not turn out well for you, otherwise..." Bowser got down from the counter and grabbed Dedede by his robe, leaning up close to his face. "Rawr."
Dedede's face kept getting redder and redder, which was confusing since they hadn't drunk anything in a while. "Lemme go."
"Make me," Bowser said, and pulled him in even closer into a very tight embrace.
Silence and stillness.
Bowser didn't know why he had the impulse to hug, but he did it anyway. Dedede didn't resist, but returned the gesture, wrapping his arms around the Koopa in turn.
He hung on to the fellow king for dear life, for either a minute or an hour, it was hard to tell. It should have felt awkward, but it felt so natural instead. Dedede shifted a little, but didn't say a word. Bowser didn't speak either, but took the time to breathe in the scent of his new friend.
Can I really call him my friend? For all I know, he's just entertaining me because he feels he has to... I did kinda force myself on him, I'm even doing it now! I can't help myself. Poor guy DID think I wanted to eat him... Then again, I don't even know how to tell if someone likes me.
Bowser sighed, rumbling as he laid his head on the penguin's shoulder.
But... it would be nice... He's so good, but good guys can't stand me... And usually, I can't stand them either, but somehow, I wanna be around his energy more. Jeez, why does he smell so amazing... and feel so soft and warm and cuddly? Must be the booze, I guess. Yeah, that's it! Even though I haven't drunk anything in awhile...
Then, suddenly, the penguin squirmed out of his grip and started running out of the kitchen. "You're not gonna capture me that easily!"
Bowser, reacting after a moment of surprise, gave chase. He saw the penguin's red robe trailing in the air as he turned a corner.
Their footsteps echoed through the empty castle. Bowser was keeping up, but Dedede was a good few yards ahead of him.
A few of the night-shift guards were watching attentively. Thankfully, Dedede was laughing, so they could tell things were probably all right.
If we keep having misunderstandings like these, I'll be booted from Dream Land before I know it!
Eventually, Dedede led Bowser into the throne room, up a set of stairs in the back corner, and into his bedroom.
It was a simple room, much simpler than the Koopa had expected. Plain grey blankets and draperies. The enormous, double king-sized bed was against the back left corner and had an elegant canopy above it, also grey. A bench with a blue suede cushion. One dresser, a bookshelf, and two tall windows. A hanging light fixture was faintly illuminating the room - there was a dimmer switch next to the door. The floor was stone, like the rest of the castle, with a dark red rug covering the large rectangular area between the bed and the doorway. It had a gold pattern going along the edges.
Bowser stopped to catch his breath. "You… you run pretty fast for a man of your stature."
Dedede smiled. "I'm not even going to get offended, because I beat you."
"Not really. I've beaten you," Bowser panted.
"How do you figure?"
"Because now I've got you cornered."
Dedede looked around him. It was true. Bowser was in front of the doorway and the only other exit was to jump out a window. His smile disappeared. "Whoops."
"What am I gonna do with you," Bowser said, grinning. "Capture you, subdue you, then what?"
Dedede shifted anxiously. He licked his lips. "I assume you'd have to take me back to your castle?"
"Ah, yes. It's very scary there, a softie like you wouldn't stand a chance."
"I'm tougher than I look!"
"But can you take all the abuse I'm ready to dish out?" Bowser questioned him. "I'm very full of aggression. Might not be too good for you."
"You can do whatever you want to me, but I won't surrender."
"Wanna bet?" Bowser's eyes and teeth glinted in the dark room.
They stared each other down, the temperature in the room rising. The tension was palpable.
Finally, the penguin king reached behind where he was standing, fumbling his hand into a wine rack, grabbing a bottle and holding it up. "I don't know about you, but all that running has sobered me up."
Bowser just grinned. Now this guy's startin' to get interesting.
Dedede popped off the cork and took a big glug of the red, before passing it to Bowser. The Koopa swigged as he watched Dedede jump into bed and roll onto his side.
Bowser kneeled at the edge of the bed, his arm resting on the blanket, and he passed the bottle over again. "So all the little Waddle Dees, do they just sleep in a litter somewhere like puppies, or do you have a barracks with dozens of tiny beds?"
"The latter, actually," Dedede chuckled. "Although they do like to cuddle together. Everyone in Dream Land does…" he blushed.
"I'll… keep that in mind," Bowser said, still sober enough to guess at what was just revealed in that sentence.
"This place is pretty dreamy," Dedede said. "It can get boring, though, despite the milky skies and starry oceans. What's the Koopa Kingdom like?"
Bowser thought for a moment. "It's scenic. Red vistas, dark clouds, churning lavascapes, there's really no place like it. Got lots of territories spread out everywhere. Yeah, my influence spreads far. You could almost say I've developed a cult of personality."
"Well, cults and crazy go hand in hand," Dedede snickered.
Bowser scowled. "What do you know."
"Is there anyone you're… interested in back there? Seeing somebody? A sultry turtless, perhaps?" That was a loaded question, regardless of the way Dedede seemed to stammer when he said it.
Bowser looked distant. "Maybe. But I think it'll never work."
Dedede kept quiet.
"You're supposed to say, 'I'm sure it will - you're a catch, Bowser!'" The Koopa king grumbled.
"I don't know the situation! I'm not going to offer empty platitudes. You're above that kind of nonsense."
"Thanks… I think?"
"Plus, she's probably out of your league, anyway. You should go for someone attainable."
Bowser knew it was a joke, but it hit like an insult. He furrowed his brow. "What, like you?"
Dedede was speechless. He took a big gulp of the wine and then passed it back.
A newly-satisfied Bowser looked out the window, into which was leaking a misty blue glow.
"We stayed up real late." The Koopa swished his tail across the floor.
"Yeah. It's going to be light out soon."
"I'm not even tired, are you?" Bowser passed the bottle of wine, which had sat next to him on the floor, to Dedede.
"Admittedly… this is way past my usual bedtime…" the bird said, taking a glug.
Bowser softly chuckled. "You can crash, if you want."
"No, I think I'm okay," Dedede yawned.
"You sure?"
"Yeah."
They talked and talked, and talked some more, until they eventually started passing out, holding half-asleep conversations that they'd never remember, but which were encoded into Bowser's dreams.
The encroaching darkness of sleep brought him visions of the two of them running through Dream Land's hills, running and running endlessly but never growing exhausted.