A/N: The original plot and characters, and some dialogue is from the tv show. Other parts are borrowed or derived from lyrics of the song "My Sacrifice", by Creed. No infringement intended I love and respect the show and song writers. The twists are all mine, though! Hope you enjoy!

Bellarke Songfic

Chapter 6: My Sacrifice

... ...

(Clarke POV)

Madi and I chatted for what seemed like an eternity with my old friends that night. First, we made plans and backup plans for the next day. Then, we traded many stories from our time apart. Madi charmed them all in that way she has about her, which reminded me so much like her father. We were all happy to be together again, but I couldn't ignore that I had sensed some disconnect at the start. I picked up on something, like a nervous energy between them all at certain times. I couldn't pinpoint the cause of it, and I wondered if I was just imagining it. I had grown used to only having Madi for so long. And they had all believed I had died. I reasoned with myself that we may not know exactly what to say or how to act. So, I dismissed the feeling as expected awkwardness after so much time apart.

As time went on, I picked up on the weird looks my friends had towards Echo, and Bellamy. Then, I noticed occasional fleeting looks from Bellamy and Echo themselves. Whenever I caught Echo looking at Bellamy, he was usually looking at me or Madi. But then, I noticed Bellamy glance in Echo's direction with a look that seemed worried and maybe a tad guilty. In that moment, something clicked in my mind and in my heart. Of course, Bell noticed the look in my eyes, and realized I had put it together. That invoked such a pained look to befall his face. He was about to say something, but I decided to speak before he could say anything.

"My friends, we meet again. It feels surreal because it's been a while, so where should we begin? Feels like forever." I told the group, drawing the attention of those that hadn't noticed my realization. "Within my heart, I kept our memories and the love you gave me." I turned to Bellamy beside me. "Oh, I remember." I told him with a smile as I thought of our last night together.

"Alright, alright." Murphy warned against any show of emotion. It made me smile to know that at least, that hadn't changed about him.

"You all thought I died." My words stopped anything they may have planned to say. "You probably grieved, but eventually you also had to move on. I understand that. I am not upset by that. We all grew up over time, and probably in ways we never could have predicted. That was to be expected, under the circumstances. None of you..." I said, looking into Bellamy's eyes. "None of us should feel guilty." I added. I could tell he was about to argue, so I stopped him with a smile and shake of my head.

"We could have waited. I should have stayed." Bellamy declared, and that soured my thoughts.

"There were days wished I had returned on time to go with you. But eventually I came to understand and accept that things happened the only they should have. The satellite at the tower was not adjusted properly, and that was no one's fault. So, realistically, there are only ways things that could have been different. First, I could have incorrectly completed my task at the satellite tower in rush to get back, and we'd all be dead. Or second, I might have traded places with any of you, but whoever stayed to fix the satellite would have died." I said, looking them each in the eye, then turned to Bell.

"If you had stayed instead of me, I would have believed you were dead. But you would have died for real, Bellamy. Earth was not survivable for anyone that didn't have nightblood." I told him with a sad smile, and he hung his head.

"It was hard on him. It … it was hard on all of us." Raven spoke softly and I gave her a sad smile.

"We grieved your loss for a long time, Clarke. We decided to make what we believed was your last act for us count. After surviving the first year, we toasted to you on the anniversary of your death every year. It tore us apart every time." Monty said, wiping his eyes and Harper's eyes.

"We couldn't let your death have no meaning, so we all did our parts. We completed our duties, and we got through the hardships in your name. But we were lucky to have each other. I can't begin to imagine how hard it all must have been for you here alone." Harper added tearfully. I closed my eyes as my mind replayed flashes of the darkest days I was forced to endure alone.

"You shouldn't have had to go through any of it alone, especially having the little one by yourself." Murphy added, surprising me with his tender side before putting his walls back up.

"How can you act like you're not mad that we left you? I'll never forgive myself." Bellamy dropping his forehead on my shoulder.

"Because I'm NOT mad, Bellamy!" I exclaimed vehemently.

My mind was still reeling from mentally reliving the worst of my time on Earth alone, but my heart broke with his pain. Madi was fast asleep, so I knew that was my moment. They needed to know exactly how horrible it was for me. I had to share every excruciating detail, so they'd understand why I could never hold it against them for leaving. If they cared about me like I cared about them, my story would hurt them, but they needed to know. Bellamy needed to understand.

"This brings tears to my eyes, what I'm about to tell you, but it was my sacrifice to make. My timer had run out by the time I realized I needed to climb the massive tower and manually adjust the satellite at the very top. The whole time I was throwing my bodyweight against that dish, this way and that … I was also growing desperate. I could see Praimfaya approaching from up there and I knew that your take-off time was closing. To say I was scared is an immeasurable understatement. I wouldn't give up while I was still alive to try, but I was more terrified that you all might try to wait for me." I swallowed the thick lump in my throat as I reminded myself that they were alright. I was glad none of them interrupted me.

"When I saw the launch…" I smiled at the memory. "You don't … you can't imagine how happy I was. Despite having been left behind, I was so grateful that you guys were able to take off on time. Seeing that renewed my energy, and I just knew I needed to make sure I gave you all the best of chances."

"I was elated when that satellite finally aligned correctly and sent the signal." I smiled with tears in my eyes, remembering that moment. But the smile melted off my face, knowing what happened next.

"The screen died before I could confirm that it had worked, but I had done all I could. All I could do then was hope it had been enough and climb down. Unfortunately, one of the bars came loose and gave out from under my feet. I fell the last few yards and my helmet cracked. I started running as fast as I could, but the radiation seeped through. My body started to ache and cramp up. I felt the blisters forming on my face and I did my best to push my legs despite the pain. Soon enough, it was even a struggle just to walk." I was feeling out of breath and Bellamy asked me to stop, but I shook my head.

"I barely made it back to the lab, and I only managed to shut the doors seconds before the fire wave hit. I tore off the helmet and tried to gasp clean air, but I was already vomiting nightblood everywhere. My eyes felt like they'd been burned so bad that I couldn't open them, and I fell to the floor, knowing I was about to die."

I had shifted out of Bellamy's attempt to hold me, because I could again feel the heat and blistering on my skin, like I was back there and living that torturous pain again.

"I laid on the ground, in a pool of my black blood and choking more up, unable to move any part of my body. While I waited for death to finally take the pain away, I recalled every life I'd taken since arriving on this planet. I remember thinking it felt like justice that Earth was finally claiming my life. I kept hoping to die quickly. I could feel my lungs fighting just to barely expand. My breath slowed as it barely rattled in and out of my chest painfully. I pictured you guys, my parents, and our people in the bunker. I could barely breathe, let alone speak, but I had to try. I was certain they'd be my last words when I whispered them, 'May we meet again.'

"Clarke." Bellamy's tortured plea reached my ears, but I shook my head.

"Please. I've never told Madi any of this and if I don't say it all now, I don't know if I ever will." I told them. Tears streamed down all of our faces, so they reluctantly let me keep talking.

"I think I woke up again about two days later, but I couldn't really be sure. I didn't know how, but I was alive. I was covered in painful blisters and caked in dried, black blood. I was sore all over and could barely move any muscles. The fire still raged outside for several days, but there was enough food in the lab to last me several months if I was careful. I couldn't eat too much at first anyway. And since I had no one and nothing to go outside for, I stayed put and let myself heal. It was the most painful of things I have ever gone through, but I was determined to try getting back to the bunker. That turned to be a bust, for obvious reasons. There were dark days, but I learned to accept my solitude. I did try to radio you guys every day, but never got a reply." I shook the dark thoughts away as Raven gasped.

"I realized I was pregnant after the third month in the lab." I continued, preventing Raven from saying anything. "I missed two menstrual cycles but thought it was due to the radiation I'd been exposed to. But then, I started to notice other symptoms that couldn't be explained by anything other than pregnancy. I tested my blood, and it confirmed my suspicion. First thing I did was freak out about all the radiation that could have hurt the baby. You see, by that point, I had already been making trips out of the lab and scavenging. I administered every possible test I could think of to check viability of the fetus – our baby." I smiled at Bellamy.

"I performed almost daily ultrasounds until I concluded that the baby had not been affected by the radiation. I hypothesized that she had my nightblood, and I was right. The birth was hard and scary. Thankfully, everything went smoothly. I was ..."

"Stop. Please, Clarke. I can't … I'm sorry. I'm so, fucking, sorry!" Bellamy cried, begging me to stop with tears pouring from his red eyes.

"I'm not telling you this in order to hurt you ... or any of you." I told him softly and looked at all their tear-stricken faces. "Don't you see? Don't any of you understand?" I asked but they shook their heads.

"I'm telling you everything so that you'll understand why I'm glad you all left when you did. You need to understand why I'm not mad and why I couldn't possibly hold it against any of you. It had to be me. It could only be me. Me alone." I told them and couldn't believe they still didn't get it yet.

"I survived because of my nightblood, but none of you would have. Someone had to stay behind, but if anyone instead of me, or if anyone stayed to be with me…" I looked pointedly at Bellamy. "You would be dead. I've told you everything so you'd know that it would have been a very painful and despicable death. It would have been after hours of immense suffering and choking on your own blood while your insides boiled from within. That didn't happen to me because of my blood, and I'm the only one of us that had it. I'm the only one of us that could have survived what I did. I bore it, so none of you had to." I explained with a sigh. "But even if I had died, it would have just been me. What is one death, if the rest of you survived? You have to see that."

Suddenly, Bellamy's lips were pressed to mine but it wasn't like any kiss we'd ever shared. That kiss was hard against my mouth, almost painful, but I still welcomed it. His hands held my face in place, even after his lips pulled away from mine. I stared into his red but determined eyes.

"Don't you ever, and I mean ever, down-grade your death to me or in my presence again. Do you hear me, Clarke? I don't want to think of you dying or being near death again. Believing you had died - it nearly killed me. I doubt I'd survive it again." Bellamy demanded in a growl before kissing my lips more gently than before.

"I understand why only you could have survived that ordeal. I get it. I think we all do. But that doesn't mean that I'll ever be okay with having left you behind to endure it without me. I will never be okay with you having our daughter by yourself and under those conditions. So, I never want to hear you talk about your death so flippantly, like it wouldn't mean anything. Please, Clarke … never again." He implored and I nodded.

"Okay, Baby. I promise." I answered and pecked his lips before hugging him.

Raven gently pushed Bellamy aside and hugged me tightly. I could feel her chest shaking with cries she tried to keep inside. "Dammit, Clarke." She whispered, and I knew she was trying to shake away the pain from all I'd told them. "We are alive because of you, Clarke. It tore at me, but watching Bell's inability to heal was the worst. I have no words to express how glad I am that you're okay, even if I hate what you went through. I wish I'd been able to fix our damn radios. I'm so sorry, Clarke." She said and hugged me again. I told her there was nothing to forgive and held her as long as we needed. Then, she made a vague excuse about needing to check the hand computer and needing her beauty rest.

Monty approached me next, whispering he was so sorry for what I'd gone through and thanking me. Before he let go, Harper joined us. She thanked me and also told me she was proud of everything I'd gone through, and how she could tell I was a great mom to Madi. Their words warmed my heart.

Emori stepped closer next, having something to say. "Learning to live in space was difficult at first. It was harder than being exiled and growing up in isolation because of my deformity. But all of that pales in comparison to what you've told us. I'm grateful for all I was able to learn up there, and I know it wouldn't have been possible without you." Emori told me before she asked for a hug, and I nodded.

While hugging Emori, I saw Murphy looking to the ground before my eyes found Echo. She seemed hesitant in her approach, so I smiled at her. When Emori stepped away, I stepped towards Echo and greeted her, leaving any past feuds in the past like they'd burned up in Praimfaya.

"And how was space for you?" I asked softly, and she shook her head softly.

"It was nothing I couldn't handle, and nothing compared to your journey. King Roan was right about you. I used to think he was foolish for trusting you back then. I had even been jealous of his belief in you, but he was right. Thank you, Clarke." Echo told me, and I felt compelled to respond.

"Stedaunon don gon we. Oso throu gon we." I told her, genuinely meaning it. The dead were gone, along with our conflicts. I held out my arm, and she completed the grounder's handshake with a smile.

"Are our conflicts also gone, Clarke?" Murphy asked, appearing timid. It wasn't a look I'd ever seen on him before. "We had several more than others but … I had a lot of time to think on the ring and …" He stopped talking and sighed.

"Of course they are. I consider this a clean slate for us all after Praimfaya burned everything away. Besides, you're Madi's second favorite. Well, you were for a while". I told him with a chuckle, lightening the mood, but also feeling the truth behind my words and he thanked me.

"Really?" Murphy asked with a smirk. Then, he followed that with, "Wait, who's got me beat?" He asked with a more genuine smile.

"Bellamy's always in first place. But you were her favorite when she thought my stories of you and your sarcasm were hilarious. Eventually, Octavia took your spot. The more she learned about her Aunty O, the quicker you were debunked." I told Murphy, then looked at Bellamy's face to gage his reaction. It was a bitter-sweet look, as I'd expected.

Suddenly, Bellamy and I were holding each other again. I could tell it pained him to not know about his sister. But I imagined it must also be hard for him to hear about Madi when he hadn't been there to experience her youth himself.

"I'm sure Octavia is fine. We'll get her back. And we have all the time in the world for you to get to know Madi." I told Bellamy and felt him nod against my neck. I fought the urge to pronounce us a family, based on my suspicions about him and Echo.

"I also understand if you have something with Echo." I whispered in his ear. "I'm not mad about that either and I won't stand in your way. I love you and after finally seeing that you're okay, I only want you to be happy. I understand if you love her now, or if you need time to sort things out".

Bellamy kissed my lips, preventing me from saying anything else. When our kiss ended, I looked around and realized we'd finally been left alone. Our friends had spread out to sleep a few yards away, which allowed us some much-needed privacy to talk. Bellamy and I still had things to discuss.

"There really isn't anything to worry about between Echo and me." Bellamy said and I raised an eyebrow, unsure if I could believe that. So, he decided to explain.

On the ring, Monty and Harper were paired up, as were Murphy and Emori. Only Raven, Echo and I were single. Raven and I have become the best of friends, so close that she's like a sister to me now. I love her the same way as I love Octavia. But one night, almost a year ago, Monty concocted a batch of algae with alcoholic properties. We all got drunk and began joking about needing to repopulate the Earth upon our arrival. It was suggested that Echo and I should lead by example. It was a stupid joke and only funny while we were all intoxicated. Regardless, I swear that is all it ever was for me."

"Okay. So, what's with all the looks?" I asked curiously.

"Well, that joke was all there ever was until the possibility of returning to Earth two days ago. Echo asked me if I'd ever consider making the joke a reality. Apparently, Echo wants to start a family and said she trusts me to be a good partner. It wasn't romantic, and I told her I would think about it, so I did. Naturally, that only made me think of you. But still, I couldn't find a valid reason to decline. Just before we launched our return, I told her I accepted her offer. Everyone had a great laugh and Murphy cheered himself for having been the originator of the whole thing. I never imagined you were waiting for me, Princess. But I promise you, there has never been anything physical or intimate, much less romantic, between Echo and I."

"I believe you. But are you saying that you've been celibate since we were last together?" I asked, incredulously.

"Yes, and you're looking mighty fine, Princess." He smirked, and I felt a pull in my lower belly.

Everyone was far enough away, and Madi was fast asleep near trunk bed, so she wouldn't hear anything. I quickly stood and pulled Bell towards the back seat of the jeep. I climbed in and he followed me in with a chuckle. He closed the door softly, preventing any noise that could alert anyone to what we were up to.

"Eager, Princess?" He chuckled as I removed my shirt and pulled my pants down.

"For you, always. You weren't the only one that was celibate."

After several crazed movements of undressing, we accommodated ourselves. As soon as he entered me, I felt like everything shifted back into place and all was finally right in the world. His movements were deliciously slow, almost like he never wanted it to end. That was perfectly fine by me. We kissed and moved together, and it was pure ecstasy. Afterwards, he cuddled me close as we chatted softly.

"We've seen our share of ups and downs, haven't we?" He told me. "We know how quickly life can turn around in an instant. Everything needs to go without a hitch tomorrow. I need to get Octavia and our people out, but I can't lose you or Madi." He said and I nodded against his chest.

"Our plans always have a way of going sideways, but we'll have each other's backs like always. We've worked out all the kinks and have everything sorted. We even have back up plans for the back up plans. I won't lose you again, either." I told him as we started re-dressing.

We went back outside and settled down on either side of Madi. Bellamy gently kissed Madi's head and it warmed my heart like nothing ever had. We loved each other and Madi. We were a family.

"It feels so good to reunite, at long last. Let's find peace here. Tomorrow will be here soon enough, and so will the rest of our people." I told him and he held my hand as I drifted off to a peaceful sleep beside the two most important people in my world.

I awoke the next morning to soft kisses on my cheek and Madi's giggles beside me. I smiled before opening my eyes. When I did, I saw Bell's happy face smirking down at me.

"I just had to say hello again." He said and I giggled while wiping the sleep from my eyes.

"I'm so glad it wasn't all a dream. Hello again." I said as I reached up and kissed him softly. "Let's go get the rest of our family."

A/N: End of chapter six. Hope you're enjoying my story.