Khalthar's Notes; For those of you who HATE Galloway… (You know who you are!) you don't have to worry. He WILL get his in full, and while Prowl will give him a TASTE of what he deserves, it will be someone ELSE who will give him his fitting rewards! :)
It wasn't easy to be me. Why didn't anyone understand that? Why didn't anyone understand me? I thought in misery. Is all I had ever wanted was to be understood, and maybe even accepted, but no one would ever let that happen. Hell that… that man, if that's what he really was, had made it completely clear that he wanted nothing to do with me or anyone else for that matter.
A sob made its way from my throat as I ran. My heart ached furiously in my chest, beating with magma instead of blood. My ribs were killing me since they had really healed after what my father had done to me. The cuts on my wrists throbbed horribly, as my chest tightened, and my throat constricted. I stumbled multiple times as I ran out of the base and found myself on an inescapable island of sand. The water crashed in the distance, a sparkling blue in the fields of gray that overtook my vision. I took off in a sprint, dirt spraying as I stumbled and slid. Memories of past experiences flowed into my mind; unwanted memories of pain, torture, and assault.
Not long after I took off, I heard the sounds of running foot steps behind me, a body slammed into me and tackled me to the ground. I let out a viscous scream, akin to a wild animal, and raked my long nails down my captors face. A grunt met my ears, followed by a quick smack to my face. I immediately went still and limp in my captors grasp. I felt myself being hauled up and slung roughly over a shoulder. My body jerked with the strong steps. Various gazes and whispers permeated my consciousness, but words and faces didn't register.
A door clicked, a few more steps, before I was thrown roughly down on to a bed, and then I was alone. A bolt slammed home in the door alerting me to being locked in the room. It was no longer my quarters, but instead it was now my prison. I had traded one miserable prison for another. That's all I had done, I realized that now. Burying my face into one of the pillows I shivered and let out a sob...
XXX
In the early morning light, I lay there on the bed with red rimmed eyes. Sniffling I wiped my tear stained cheeks, exhaustion making every muscle, tendon, and bone in my body ache. A soft click alerted me to someone entering the room, but I didn't bother looking up. There was pressure on the other side of the bed, but I showed no reaction.
"I know you're awake." I flinched upon hearing Blue's voice. Slowly rolling over I looked up into his neon blue eyes, in the darkness of the room they seemed to cast a glow of their very own. His gaze seemed so sad, why however was something I didn't really understand.
"What do you want?" I managed to mumble in my now raspy voice. He didn't even blink an eye as he leaned down and stared me in the face. I balked at the close proximity of his being and pulled back. I froze, and my heart quickened, when he followed my movement. He reached up a hand and gently cupped my jaw.
"Why did you run earlier? It really wasn't that bad, I mean you could have just ignored him! Honestly, you should have seen how the military men got up in Galloway's face and told him off. It was awesome!" He rambled on and on. He seemed happy, but I could still see some emotion in his face that expressed otherwise. His 'happiness' did nothing for me, nor for him.
We were the same in a way. I was locked in a physical prison, and I could see in his eyes he was locked in a psychological prison. We are the same...The whispering thought left just as fast as it came, but instead of acknowledging it, I rolled back over and pulled the thin blanket over my head.
After awhile the pressure on the other side of the bed lightened, then his presence disappeared entirely. Silence turned to harsh ringing, as the gravity of isolation sunk its fangs deep in my heart. A tear rolled down my cheek, agony searing my heart.
Quit pitying yourself and get up! A voice screamed, the voice of someone from my distant past. Anger swirled in me, at the words of the known, yet unknown, voice.
"I'm not pitying myself." Came the whispered reply from my soft lips. Yes, you are. You are being incompetent, and whiny. Grow up! Get up! Move on! Show them you are not weak, show them your inner strength. The voice became a gentle scream, words of encouragement in a sea of doubt.
"What 'inner strength'?" I spat while sitting up. The soft dark locks of my hair falling around me, the crimson streaks glittering almost as harshly as my fevered eyes.
"I have no strength left..." I mumbled, the words were soft and they sounded disturbingly condemning. You have more than you could ever know. Came the equally soft voice. Shutting my eyes tightly closed I shook my head dejectedly.
"If this strength is real... why hasn't it come... when will I know I've found it?" I replied, my eyes flashing open to the still empty room. A faint thought on my insane conversation was pushed aside to a back burner for later analysis.
You'll know. My anger flared, while my fists clenched, and I let loose a horrible scream. Outside the first crack of lightning and a boom of thunder were the only things that were noticed, because my scream drowned out in the loud racket of nature.
XXX
Six hours... six hours was not enough to absorb the information that had been so unexpectedly thrust upon me. The silver gray body, the red chevron, those solemn blue eyes; they kept zapping through my mind, a constant onslaught of information plaguing my memories and thoughts. Only six hours before... I had been shown the form of a monster. I had thought Blue to be human, thought him to be my friend. I was wrong... he's a cold mechanical monster.
I had been in the shower this entire time. I felt that this somehow went beyond humiliating and embarrassing. Not only had I screamed in mortal terror, but I had even peed all over myself. Talk about gross! That was bad enough… but the rest of it? It was a nightmare brought to life!
Shivering I curled my arms around my body and rocked back and forth. A sob made its way up my throat as tears fought to escape. How... how could he lie to me? I wasn't upset that he was actually an... alien... not really, I was upset that he had lied. He'd pretended to be human. Flopping back onto the bed I stared up at the ceiling, letting the memory flow through my mind.
A hand, warm and strong, gently touched my thin arm. A voice honey soft telling me to wake up. Eyes fluttering open I looked up into the neon eyes of Blue. His silvery grey hair silky and hanging in his face as usual. A soft smile pulled at my lips.
"Hey." He grinned, my heart fluttered. I hadn't the nerve to tell him yet, but I think...I think I was falling in love with him.
"I have something to tell you." We said at the same time. Blushing I giggled and motioned for him to go first. He seemed nervous, as he gently grabbed my delicate hand. Pulling me from the bed he led me outside of my room. Leading me down the dark hallways, he guided me outside.
"Where are we going? I thought you had something to tell me." I murmured in confusion. He turned around and stared me directly in the eyes. Bending down closer to my height he glanced away briefly before locking eyes with my own again. His Adams Apple bobbed as he swallowed heavily.
"I haven't been entirely honest with you Autumn... I swear I didn't withhold this from you on purpose." A frown pulled at my lips, my heart sped up, but not in a good way. Fear coursed through me, my adrenal gland releasing adrenalin into my veins.
"Blue... Blue you're scaring me. What do you mean?" He backed up and wiped his mouth nervously, slowly his eyes met mine.
"There's something I need to show you, so... please don't scream." Headlights came from behind me, I turned and shielded my eyes from the bright light. I looked back at the sound of a loud pop, the sound of a gun shot or maybe an electrical line from a transformer blowing. Where Blue had stood moments before, only my shadow remained. Turning around I stared in horror as the car's lights went out, its outer exterior broke apart and within seconds a huge metallic robot stood in its place. I screamed as I stood frozen to the spot, as the metallic being crouched down in front of me. I stumbled back, legs going numb, my bladder giving way as I peed all over myself, and the feeling of falling. I was on the ground, the being's hands raised to grab me, eyes dim with sorrow.
"Autumn. Autumn it's me, don't be afraid." Its hand moved toward me in slow motion, heart pounding in my ears, panic sweeping through me, then... I screamed again.
Staring up at the dark ceiling I let a tear fall from my eye, then another. Soon enough I was sobbing heavily, my flanks heaving with the effort, my body taxed from the incredibly stressful encounter. Panic swept through me, adrenaline pulsing in my veins like magma. It felt as if my heart would explode from how fast it was beating, I couldn't breathe. I had loved a false being, the thing was actually something I could never be with. We were worlds apart, yet within the same compound.
It was a wound I felt I could never heal from. How could he lead me on, how could he not tell me? He could have told me he wasn't human, instead he let me fall in love… in love with a thing that was as surreal as a mythical beast. And yet I had touched it, held it, loved it... but he would never know, for he… it… couldn't possibly love me back. I was flesh, he was metal. We were like fire and water, or earth and wind, two worlds that could never collide. Turning, I buried my face in the pillows. A scream tore through my throat into the soft down of the pillow I faced.
The door clicked open, and there stood Blue. His eyes were extremely sad, his full lips parted, his words barely registering as I threw a pillow at him. He looked confused as Jason and Bee came running to see what the commotion was about.
"Get out!" I screamed at the top of my lungs. Blue came forward with his hands raised in a 'I surrender' pose. I bared my teeth at him and growled.
"Aut-" Thwack! Another pillow hit him in the face. I jumped behind the bed and glared at him, salty tears staining my cheeks and smearing my mascara.
"Autumn please!" His eyes were full of pleading, but I shook my head and backed away. More tears filling my eyes, my throat clogging up as he moved even closer.
"No! Get out! Don't fucking touch me!" He grabbed me gently, but firmly and pinned me to his chest. I beat, screamed, and snarled. He took all of the screams, my fists, claws, and teeth; he took it all in stride. Exhaustion wracked my body, as I rested against him crying and sobbing. His firm hands held me up; one behind my head, the other on my waist.
"Usually the humans take it better than this." I heard Jason rumble. A growl, inhuman, rumbled from Blue.
"Shut it Ironhide."
I flinched and buried my face against Blue's chest, pretending that all of it was a dream. More like a nightmare. A nasty voice hissed in the back of my mind.
"You lied." I mumbled. The air seemed to still, turned acrid and stale. A sigh ruffled my hair, and a warm hand rubbed my back softly.
"I know. I didn't want to, but Optimus, you know him as Orion, gave me the order to wait." He sounded very forlorn as he said that.
Sighing I closed my eyes and tried to calm down. It wasn't his fault, his leader... Optimus must have had his reasons.
"Who else lied to me?" I mumbled softly.
"Well... Ryan is actually called Ratchet. Then there is Jazz, who is another you'll meet. You know him as Ian. Jason, well... his real name is Ironhide. Mike… well...you know him but his name is Bumblebee." He rambled happily.
I stared up at him silently. I was still angry at him for lying to me, but given time, it was possible that perhaps I could forgive him. I wasn't willing to bet anything on that though… and certainly not anytime soon!
XXX
I had done everything humanly possible, and yet it was not possible to comprehend. I blinked, they blinked. Hydraulics hissed and electric motors whined with movements, my blood pounded as sinew stretched and contracted with my movements.
My hands twitched from the nerves of the situation. Blinking, I stared at those big blue eyes, or optics as they were called; I breathed in the scent of oil, metal, and grease from the beings around me. Shivering I leaned back frightfully into the silver gray metal of Blue, his huge hand curled around me gently as he lowered me. I clung to his fingers, suddenly understanding how a rabbit felt when looking in the eyes of a predator.
A whine left my chest, as I realized I was standing on the concrete floor with huge mechanical wonders towering over me. My breath quickened further as my heart sped up, everything was starting to swirl and tilt. The yellow one with what looked like search and rescue patterns on him walked forward. His steps shook the ground as he towered over me, a crimson beam of light went over me bringing a 'pins and needles' feeling to my whole body.
"The femling is way too distressed, her vital signs have risen far beyond normal. If she doesn't relax she could go into cardiac arrest." All their eyes weighed heavily on me, and the air seemed to thicken as well.
The ground shivered and suddenly their leader, Optimus, was crouched beside me.
"Easy young one, we will not harm you, and we do not want to harm you. Bluestreak has informed me that he showed you his true form, although it was against my wishes, and express orders, I respect his reasoning behind it." His voice was extremely deep and baritone, it made him both intimidating and dare I say... sexy? He pushed off the ground and stood up to his full height, with his flames seeming to dance in the light.
"My name is Optimus Prime, and I am the leader of the Autobots."
I glanced around at the large beings. There were the six I was accustomed to; then there was a police cruiser, a red Ferrari, and a large green Jeep. All three looked down at me with different expressions. The police cruiser one seemed indifferent if any thing else, the Ferrari was hard to tell, but most likely stuck up from what I could see, and the Jeep had the most fascinated expression I had seen in a long time... if ever.
"These are our newest arrivals, Prowl my second in command, Mirage our spy, and Hound our scout." Looking up at Optimus I tilted my head before looking away. Biting my lip I tentatively sputtered out my questions.
"How long have you been here? When did you come here? Why did you come here?" Looking back up at them through my lashes I swallowed heavily, hoping I hadn't overstepped some kind of unspoken boundary.
"We've been here for some time Little One. Although the first of our race to make an appearance here was Megatron, leader of the Decepticons when he was found frozen in the ice." Optimus rumbled to me.
Patience was heavily laden in his voice, as if he'd had to explain this a great multitude of times already. Although, I supposed, he's probably had to tell everything several times to the different people he had to deal with, plus those on this base.
"But you didn't answer my other question... why are you here?"
"We came here for the Allspark, the beginning of our species." By the sound of his voice, I could tell this was going to be a verylong explanation indeed.