Khalthar's Notes: A bit longer, but I don't think I'll get any complaints.

When I awoke the next morning I wasn't sure what I was expecting, but finding Ratchet hovering over me with that creepily intense look sure wasn't it. I yelped and sat up, looking around I didn't see Bluestreak anywhere.

I could feel my heart pounding away; it felt hot and burned in my chest. I shivered and wrapped my arms around my body, looking up at Ratchet my eyes wide, and I froze at his expression. It was intense, enough to make the strongest mech's resolve wobble and crumble like dust. I swallowed heavily.

"R-Ratchet?"

"Hmm... blue eyes... carbon fibers... spark." He was muttering the words to himself and jotting something down on a data pad. I frowned at him seeing as he was ignoring me. I couldn't really make out what he was saying, but I knew it was about me. I wasn't even narcissistic by nature, but I knew.

"Um hello!" I called out. He suddenly seemed to snap out of it and sent a scathing glare my way. I pushed it aside and let a snarl pass my lips.

"What are you going on about?" I snapped irritably. His optics narrowed dangerously at my words.

"Nothing that you need to worry about." He stated it so calmly you'd think we were talking about the weather instead of his findings.

"Bull slag! This is my body and my life we're talking about!" I snarled the words up to him, faintly miffed at saying slag instead of shit. What has gotten into me with these odd words? It was like something in my brain told me these were the right words to use and my English ones were wrong.

Suddenly humongous palms slammed down on either side of me. I flinched with a squeak as he let loose the most terrifying snarl I have ever heard.

"Femme! Do. Not. Test. Me! Now silence yourself and rest!" He growled the words irritably.

I was truly scared for my life as I stared up into his sapphire blue optics, they held so much ire. I swallowed feeling the heavy pulse in my throat, the sound of my heart beating was in my ears.

I curled in on myself, remembering distantly from watching animals that if you appeared smaller and submissive then maybe the bigger creature would leave you be. It was quiet for a moment as the silence held heavily over us; I saw something flash through his optics.

Regret? He turned and stalked off with the data pad, muttering something under his breath. I had a feeling it wasn't very nice either.

I curled up into a ball and stared at a wall feeling panic sweep through me. The one bot I have to be around twenty-four seven and I manage to slag him off so badly that I was lucky to not get the frag beat out of me every which way but Sunday. A soft, almost inaudible, whining noise left my lips.

I didn't trust any of them consciously, only one bot held a glimmer of trust from me. So why wasn't he here? That was the only thing that I wanted. I sniffed and curled into a ball, pain sweeping through my heart.

My already heavy limbs felt even heavier, pain sweeping through the hardening muscles and into my chest. My abdomen clutched queasily in pain.

I just wanted Blue, that's all I wanted. I just wanted his warm smile, his gentle touch, and his comforting voice. Most of all I craved to hear his gentle spark, beating rhythmically in his chassis. Was that so much to ask for?

My chest felt hotter than a blazing star, a feeling that was ripping and tearing. It hurt so badly, the feeling leaving me breathless. If I could move I would be writhing in pain.

I thought I knew what it meant to feel pain, to hurt and burn, I was proved wrong. Very wrong! The worst part was that I couldn't even call out to Ratchet, I couldn't tell him how badly I was hurting. I felt like magma was coursing through me, pulsing, and burning. It was disintegrating my very innards.

As soon as it had come it was gone, leaving me breathless on the cold metal berth. My body ached and burned, an odd feeling sweeping throughout me. If this is only a fraction of the process, I think I'd rather die right now. The thought swept through me morbidly.

I looked over seeing Ratchet busy with something, he didn't even flinch, he couldn't tell what had happened. Fear coursed through me. What if it happened again? What if I started changing and no one knew... what if I die?

I wanted to call out to him, get him to come over, but a part of me thought back to when I had pissed him off. There were so many 'what ifs' that could happen. A single tear slid down my cheek, pain welling up in my chest again, but I couldn't cry. I wouldn't.

I forced myself to pull my pain in and lock it away, to hide it somewhere deep inside, to make sure it would never see the light of day again. Closing my eyes tightly, I concentrated all of my strength into my abdomen and forced myself to roll over onto my side.

I curled into a weak fetal position, ignoring the huge shadow that would pass by on occasion to loom over me. All the while I lay there; I stared at the wall hollowly. I wasn't sure what would happen next and that's what scared me.

I had thrown me for a loop; and the roller coaster known as life has effectively gotten me strapped in for a wild, and uncertain, filled ride.

XXX

...Silence...

Gray walls, medical devices that looked fit for torture. Berths lined up in rows, a blinking red light of a camera.

...Silence...

Glowing blue eyes narrowed as the tiny frame stiffened. Something was disturbing the silence. Footsteps maybe? Something was coming closer. Something was going to get in. Panic gripped her spark. She made a choking noise when she saw those crimson optics. She tried to open her lip components to deliver a scream, but it never came.

The being rose up before her, silver claws grabbing the delicate turquoise femme's throat. The lines getting crushed. She couldn't breath. Messages popped up in her field of vision, she opened her mouth trying to breathe.

"...Scream..." The huge mech snarled, and she did.

My eyes flashed open, a scream leaving my lips. My chest rising and falling with every breath, panic coursing throughout my over heated body. Pulse thumping harshly in my throat, beads of sweat lingered on my forehead.

A gentle hand swept my hair from my face, I couldn't move, I couldn't breath. A sob came unbidden as the lights flashed on, the familiar face of the medic in my vision. My vision turned blurry from tears. What the frag was that! I screamed pitifully in my head.

"Shh... shh... it's alright... shh..." Slowly the words came into focus, the static in between probably from me. I felt something prick my arm and moments later drowsiness came over me.

"Blue..." I mumbled weakly. A gentle hand swept my sweat laced hair from my face. Warm lips caressing my throat, my pulse fast against said lips.

"Stay... Blue... stay..." I managed to whimper the words before darkness consumed my senses.

Bluestreak POV

Bluestreak sat there in his holoform, his arms around the tiny femme's frame. As soon as he had heard her scream, which admittedly he probably shouldn't have seeing as his quarters were on the other side of base from med bay, he had come running.

The sight of her tiny body convulsing and the panicked signals it was giving off had driven him over the edge. He snarled and growled at the mechs who had come running, guarding her the entire time. The only one he had allowed near was Ratchet, and that was to give her a quick sedative.

Gazing down into her face as she relaxed, he felt intense pain sweep through his spark. She looked so terrified. That's not what set him off, he could smell her fear. Of course all of the bots could smell a humans emotions, arousal always being something that was easily detectible for the musky sent, and he was no different. He had picked up on it, and that drove him over the edge.

"Blue..." She whimpered the words. His gaze snapped back into focus to watch her. I reached forward and gently swept her dame hair from her face. I'm here. Bluestreak knew what it was like to have nightmares where you woke up screaming, he had them all the time. He was determined to not let her suffer like he did.

Leaning down he pressed his holoform's lips to her throat, feeling the pulse that resided there. A smile pulled at his lips, he could taste her skin. It was so sweet, so silken. It was musky, forest scented almost.

"Stay... Blue... stay..." The softly whimpered words hardened his resolve. Laying her down softly he let his holoform disintegrate. Transforming up from his alt. Mode, seeing as he had come squealing into med-bay in his vehicular form when he heard her scream, he reached out and gently picked her up. His warm servos caressing her as he shifted to lay down on the berth, settling her over his spark.

You're not alone Autumn, it's alright, I'm here. He slowly slipped into recharge with those thoughts in his mind.

Autumn POV

When I awoke I found myself to be on something warm instead of the usual chilly metal. The warmth emanating from the silver-gray metal added to the gentle pulsing sound was intoxicating.

It didn't help that I was exhausted. I couldn't find the strength to move, I couldn't even if I tried. After my conniption fit of pain, I just couldn't find the strength to move. I hadn't told Ratchet, he was to busy to notice. However, I knew he would find out sooner rather than later.

I saw a black servo, it draped over me gently, confusion swept through me. Looking around at the metal I slowly tilted my head back until I saw Bluestreak's familiar face plates.

"What-?" I was thoroughly confused having not remembered him coming in last night. He smiled gently and answered my silent query.

"You were having a nightmare last lunar cycle. I'm sorry if this was too forward, I was just trying to comfort you, I wasn't even trying anything I swear! I just-"

"Bluestreak."

"Yes?"

"It's fine."

He offered me a brilliant and impish grin.

"You're awake."

I flinched and slowly looked up to see Ratchet. Major mood killer. I swallowed and offered a faint smile. His expression was neutral making me nervous. I felt an odd feeling I had come to realize the meaning of, Ratchet was scanning me again

I tried to keep still, knowing he'd get pissier than a bear coming out of hibernation. Wait... that's an insult to the bear. I tried not to smirk or snicker. Suddenly I was lifted from Bluestreak's grasp. A squeak left my lips as I gazed into the sharp optics of the one mech who could scare the pit out of Unicron.

"How long ago was it?"

I flinched under the glower. "I-I don't know what you're talking about!" His optics narrowed further, panic swept through me.

"Lies." He hissed.

I winced and looked away. "Three days ago..." I mumbled guiltily.

"Why didn't you say anything?" He snarled loudly.

When I looked up I saw what he was truly feeling: guilt and fear. I felt myself relaxing when I realized that he wasn't really angry at me per say, it was more like he was concerned; he was like a mother hen.

"I couldn't speak... it hurt too much." That guilt tripled making my heart ache. I reached up and touched his cheek plating weakly, my arm felt so heavy and constricting. It felt like I was trying to lift an elephant instead of my arm!

"It's not your fault." That glower was back full force. Flinching, I suddenly found myself none to gently set back on Blue's chassis. I looked up in confusion and trepidation.

"Bluestreak." Ratchet growled after he set me down.

"Yes Sir." Came the automatic reply from my loving guardian, his servo draping over me comfortingly.

"I need you to help me watch her; she's too stubborn for her own good."

"Sir?"

"She's changing, and much faster than I first predicted."

Autumn POV

The nightmares kept coming, disturbing my sleep as just much as the pain that was lancing through my body. Laying there in med-bay had become a torture in and of itself. I couldn't run, and couldn't move. There was no way for me to escape any of it.

Ratchet luckily didn't yell anymore, but on the downside he was constantly hovering over me like I might suddenly flat-line. Needless to say, it was nerve wrecking.

A sigh left my lips as I closed my eyes. Pain was a constant reminder of what was going to come. I shivered feebly, my body having grown weak for anything more.

Ratchet tried to put mineral drops in my body to sustain me, but it wasn't working. I refused to be fed through a tube, so as of right now my body was slowly decaying. Slowly dieing.

I could hear Ratchet, somewhere off to my right tinkering with something. I wanted desperately to call out for pain relief, any medication would do, but I couldn't force my jaw open. I knew that if I tried to speak, all that came forth would be a scream of complete and utter agony.

I grit my teeth, my back arching off the berth. My eyes flashed open, my chest was constricting in a way that made it impossible to breathe.

A faint gurgling noise came from my throat, the agony rising and blossoming in my chest to expand outward to my limbs in a tidal-wave of magma encased torment.

A humongous shadow loomed over me, the intense optics of Ratchet in my face. He was snarling something, messing with bags that were attached to me through an IV.

A door slammed open somewhere distantly, but I couldn't tell where because my ears were ringing with an unknown cause. Gentle hands moved down my sides, brushed my face, but I couldn't see who it was. Crimson light engulfed my vision. I felt like I was going to explode.

I finally let out the wail of agony that barely even scratched the surface of how much I was hurting, it just showed how much I was being tormented. Primus, I want Bluestreak! I wanted to see him, and feel him, before I died.

I wasn't sure if I was going to survive this pain, oh how much it truly hurt. I felt my limbs stretching, my bones cracking and reforming. Something hot was pulsing painfully in my chest, pumping what felt like magma through out my veins.

My mind seemed to explode outwardly as it expanded; the information from years of school and observation suddenly seemed insignificant and took up very little space in my suddenly ample brain capacity. I felt like I was burning from the inside out, disintegrating, and then stretching out to my limits only to shrink back in.

My back arched yet again, a scream tearing through my throat to echo out to those around me. When my back finally slammed back down I felt like I was crushing something delicate that protruded from my back. Primus it hurts...

My mind felt dizzy, clouded, and incapable of comprehending anything. I could feel an odd sensation flow through me, it was light as a feather and caressed every part of my internal being. I tried to open my eyes, vision faintly returning. It just hurt so much. Everything had dulled down to a painful ache, as if I had gotten the slag beat out of me.

I groaned and forced my vision to return, only to realize Ratchet didn't look so big... or was it that I wasn't so small?

Ratchet POV

I was tinkering with a small mass displacement gadget. Something that Wheeljack had been working on before he got separated from the Ark, from Optimus and the other officers that had come to Earth.

It was annoying how much this little creation of his didn't want to work. For a moment I feared it may blow up. No, it would require the master of explosions himself for it to explode. A snort left my vocalizer.

A faint gurgling noise behind me set me on edge. Dropping the gadget I turned quickly to see Autumn on the large mech sized berth. Her tiny back was arching up, my sensors picking up on her internal temperature rising. I quickly rushed over and scanned her only to go still in shock. I scanned her again, the same result. She was changing.

I snarled and leaned over her messing with the bags of minerals trying to get a pain reducer the humans called 'morphine' into her veins. I felt my energon run cold; her spark was beating too fast. She was entering a panicked state and under this much stress she would go into spark shock and offline.

"Slag it all to the pit!" I snarled loudly and quickly sent a com. to Bluestreak.

.:Bluestreak! Get your aft to med-bay now!:.

.:I didn't miss any appointments! What did I do wrong, why are you yelling, what's going on? Ratchet?:.

.:It's Autumn, she's changing!:.

.:I'll be right there!:.

I could only hope to Primus that Bluestreak could calm her down. I paced in front of her berth, watching her in worry. The morphine wasn't doing her any good; her spark beat was still erratic. Still too fast. The door suddenly slammed open, telling me that the youngest Datsun from the Ark had arrived.

Bluestreak POV

After the com from Ratchet I raced there as fast as I could. I raced through the hallways, jumping over the humans.

"Excuse me! Sorry! Pardon me! Mech coming through!" I ran to the med-bay and slammed through the door. I could hear a wailing scream, one that sent my spark racing. It belonged to the one femme whom I had never wished to hear in pain. My door wings sagged on my back in horror. She was in so much agony!

Moving forward I noticed Ratchet's intensely worried expression. I sent him a smile of reassurance. No matter how gruff he acted, or how many wrenches he threw, I knew that he always cared for us mechs.

I reached her berth and applied gentle touches and caresses. There wasn't much I could do except tell her that I was here. Ratchet wasn't kidding when he said she was changing...

I looked down upon her, seeing that her skin had disintegrated and metal had taken its place. She had grown with loud snapping pops that made me flinch. I couldn't even imagine the agony she must be feeling! I couldn't tell how tall she was seeing as she was laying down, but I suspected at least fifteen and a half feet. Maybe sixteen feet. Her wails had stopped and she lay there still, the sound of her cooling fans was the only noise in the room.

She had changed so suddenly... it was scary. What if she offlined that suddenly? I couldn't bear the thought! I watched her optics dimly light up, her shutters flickering open weakly. Ratchet moved past me to gaze down upon her, running a deep diagnostic to check on her systems.

She fully onlined her optics after a moment, relief washing through me. I felt her digits twitch seeing as my servo was resting next to hers. She jumped and looked around, her movements slow and weak. A croon left my lips as I ran a gentle servo over her helm. That's when I noticed that she had door wings like I did.

I glanced over her frame curiously; she was in her protoform of course so I respectively kept my optics from those areas. She was lean and slight in build, elegant really. Her optics were shaped as the humans would call 'almond style'. Her lip plates full, cheeks high and smooth. She had a chevron like Prowl, Smokey and I. A grin met my lips at that.

Her legs were long and came down to smallish pedes, dainty actually. My spark warmed at the sight. She was beautiful as a human, but now she was absolutely angelic.

"Wow..." I whispered the word before I could stop it, her optics locking on my own.

Normal POV

I took in the sight of Ratchet standing there; his huge frame didn't look so huge. His optics were locked on my face with an intensity that I wished he didn't hold. Primus that mech is scary just by standing there!

My digits twitched at the thought. Suddenly I felt the scrutiny of another, looking up I saw Blue. His intense optics racking over my frame, making me shiver internally. It wasn't a bad shiver, but a good one. I noticed the grin that crossed his lips, his optics bright with a hidden mischievous gleam.

"Wow..."

I blinked and suddenly wondered if my frame didn't look good. Panic crept up my spine and clenched my spark. Was I ugly? Was something wrong with me? I swallowed back the whimper at that thought. Why in the pit did I care what he thought?

"Autumn?"

My helm snapped to the right, looking up at Ratchet.

"Good you can hear me. Your response means that you remember who you are I hope?" For a second I thought of being evil and playing dumb, but I decided against it. I wasn't sure if I could talk just yet, so I gave a shaky nod.

"You scared us..."

I looked out of my peripheral vision to see Bluestreak. He seemed so... upset. I frowned and turned my head, helm, to face him.

"I-I'm s-sorry I s-scarred y-you." I managed to grind out, my vocal cords-er processors- were weak and didn't seem to want to respond. A croon left his lips, his servo coming up to cup my jaw. I felt something stir in my chassis, a rumbling noise echoing him unconsciously.

"-instincts."

I came back into focus to see Blue's amused expression and Ratchet's inquiring one. I blinked in confusion, not understanding what I had just missed out on. A soft chuckle left Bluestreak's lip components.

"It's nothing."

I scowled and relaxed against the berth when he stroked over a spot on my fore-helm. A purring croon leaving my lips, pleasurable tinglings sweeping through me. I shuttered my optics and felt like I was in heaven as his thumb gently swept over that spot.

"Her chevron's just as sensitive as Smokey's and Prowl's and my own!"

"No kidding Bluestreak! She may not have been born a Praxian, but she certainly turned into one!"

I felt something on my back flare against the berth, a growl leaving my lips as Ratchet threatened my mate.

Whoa, whoa, whoa! Mate? Where did that come from? I blinked and pulled away from Blue to look up at them nervously. Ratchet smirked as if knowing my internal thoughts. Fraggin' medic! Wait... what does that mean? A frown pulled at my lips as my brain-processor-supplied me with correct terminology. This is gonna take some getting used to...