I came back to consciousness amidst absolute silence, it was eerie really. Onlining my optics I slowly sat up, and looked around. I jumped when I saw Ratchet standing there watching me with critical optics. My throat cables suddenly felt taught; I was alone. Alone with a mech who wasn't Prowl or Blue.

My spark seemed to swell and pulse faster with my sudden fear. A presence pinged on my sensors from my wings. They flicked open and wide, flaring out to absorb the spark beats and signals. There were two other bots in the room! One was Prowl; the other was one that I didn't know. I glanced at Ratchet again; logic and even my memories told me he wouldn't hurt me, but some other part of me screamed that he would. That part was louder than my logic.

I flared my wings some more towards Ratchet, hoping he'd think that I meant business. Confusion swelled up the next instant, why was I flaring my wings at Ratchet? Something brushed against one of my doorwings gently, it felt like a servo. I went to swivel to see who had dared touch my wing, but instead of actually turning I tumbled not so gracefully from the berth.

I scrambled up quickly to see that the hand belonged to a large blue mech with red flame decals. Immediately my wings flicked back as I stared up in shock, I'd seen this mech once or twice but never really spoke to him from what I could recall. He was humongous though! This was not a mech I wanted to anger.

"Easy little one, no one here is going to hurt you." His voice was deep, rich and booming for all that he spoke softly and gently. It was a voice that commanded respect or maybe it was the gentle optics, I'm not sure which, but I was automatically soothed. I'm not exactly sure what it was, but there was something about this mech that screamed 'nonviolent and gentle' even though he was really big and obviously powerful enough to break me in two without really trying while using only one servo.

"Autumn… what Prime states is true. You are safe now; do you know where you are?" I looked up sharply, and realized that the voice belonged to Prowl.

I remembered that he was the one who was taking care of me now, and that I was staying in his quarters. That was when I remembered a few things about him. I recalled the sweet and spicy energon that was almost like cinnamon or something, and then I remembered what he'd said to that man named Galloway; the one who somehow reminded me of my father. I remembered the way that Prowl had actually protected me! Then I remembered one more thing. I remembered him telling me that he was going to get someone to teach me how to drive.

When I remembered these things, I was suddenly compelled to hug him, but I somehow refrained. Nodding slowly I tried to speak, but only warbling chirps, whistles, and clicks came out. I was too stressed at the moment to form actual words.

That was when something in Prowl's expression hardened a lot. "That response from you, more than anything else, illustrates precisely how young you really are Autumn. For most bots, the sparkling method of communication is automatically deleted from our memory files upon reaching youngling stage. There are a very few who are able to prevent that from happening, and those bots usually end up as caretakers for young bots and sparklings while the creators are otherwise occupied. The fact that you have just tried to speak to us using that particular method adequately and accurately demonstrates your age, along with the need to both guide and protect you. That is the reason that I was assigned to be your Guardian."

PROWL POV

I was surprised when the femmeling spoke in the sparkling form of communication. It is strange in that her frame is that of an adult, and yet her processors clearly are not. I could tell from the position of her doorwings that she was somewhat frightened although strangely relaxed at the same time. I had seen that Autumn was driven by her emotions… and until now, I had believed that I understood what that meant. I was rapidly discovering otherwise.

Ratchet had said that her processor configuration and even her memories are now restored to a point prior to Soundwave's interference. This meant that she was now in a 'normal' mental state. The issue at current is that Autumn is a host of extremely conflicting emotions, and that she tends to act on whichever emotion seems the strongest at the time.

That was when I felt her reach through her newly established bond with me. I responded to her feeling of uncertainty, with feelings of reassurance and security. Instantly, fear was clearly evident in her entire frame as she began backing away from all of us.

"Who… why… how come I can't feel Blue anymore?"

Her vocal patterns were quavering in desperation combined with near terror and she was on the verge of tears as she asked that question.

"Your sparkbond with Bluestreak was dissolved through use of a specific and special method. That was done because you are currently too young to have such a bond. When you are mature enough… you will be allowed and able to reestablish your bond with Bluestreak if you choose to do so. For now, you have a caretaker's bond with Prowl. This type of bond will allow you more mental privacy than a sparkbond, but at the same time, it allows Prowl to know if you are in any way injured or frightened, and will allow him to know the direction and distance you are from him. You can still communicate through the bond… however Prowl will not be able to listen to your private thoughts! He is now your caretaker and Guardian so that you will be protected. I want you to understand that this is not a permanent bond Autumn. This bond will only remain in place until you are mature enough for it to dissolve, then once you are ready, the bond will begin to remove itself. This enables Prowl to provide you with both protection and guidance for your safety." Prime stated in an almost creator like fashion.

"I am certain that there will be times when you will not feel comfortable in dealing with Prowl, in that event, I would ask that you speak to either myself, Ratchet, or Bluestreak. I want you to understand a very important fact Autumn. You are not being punished! We… all of us… are simply trying to ensure your wellbeing." Optimus said gently.

I could see that Autumn didn't believe what she was being told. I'm positive that on some level… she wanted to believe it, but experience had shown her otherwise. That was when I realized that this sparkling femme in front of me had, according to an admission from her own sire, not only endured more than my two brothers and I combined, but had suffered all of it in just a mere fifth of a single vorn! It was a spark wrenching moment of revelation for me, but at the same time, it told me something. It told me that Autumn would need almost constant reassurance from those in authority, and that she would not trust authority figures easily.

I knew that Autumn trusted my brother Bluestreak, although I couldn't be exactly certain as to why. My suspicion was the rather calm and gentle, but exuberant nature in which he normally presented himself. The probabilities of that being correct were so astronomically high that my battle computer didn't even bother to calculate them. Another thing I knew was that although he actually showed his emotions, Optimus tended to maintain a bearing and demeanor that was also calm and gentle, even more so than my younger brother. That alone would give Optimus a distinct advantage in dealing with Autumn's rather fearful nature.

Autumn POV

I felt it when the door wings on my back flicked and then tensed in fear. I knew they could see it, pit they could probably smell it. All I really knew at this point was that they had somehow taken Blue away from me. No more sparkbond with him. Now I wouldn't know if someone was telling me the truth or not because I wouldn't be able to ask him. It hurt. At least it felt like it should hurt… maybe they had even taken that away from me too.

All I knew at this point was every thing that I'd lost. I'd lost my home. It didn't matter that it was where my father had treated me worse than slag… it had been mine! I… I wasn't even human anymore, I couldn't go to school, I couldn't go see my aunt, and maybe live with her, so I'd lost that too.

I remember seeing some sort of newsbreak, where my father tried to apologize to me. He'd said he was sorry for everything… then he'd killed himself. My father was dead… gone… and with him any chance I would ever have to know what kind of person my mother had been. The one thing that had been mine… was Bluestreak… and now he had been taken away from me too.

I wasn't even aware of what I was doing as I backed up to the wall and sat down in a fetal position. I could feel the tears of energon running down my faceplates. My vents were heaving from the overheating of my processors. I just wanted to curl up and die.

"I… I should have jumped. I should have jumped off that cliff when I had the chance." I muttered sadly.

Optimus POV

I had tried to explain to the young femme why we had done what we did, and I made certain that I was as calm and as gentle as possible while doing so, but I don't think she was in a state of mind to even hear us, forget about actually listening to me. I could see her wings holding a position of near terror as she backed to the wall and slumped against it. There was a loud and sickening crunch as one of her sensitive doorwings hit the wall hard while she slid down to the floor. I knew from simple observation that it had to have been excruciatingly painful, but she showed no sign of even noticing. That was when I knew. I knew that this young femmeling, Autumn, was suffering from a spark born emotional pain that no amount of physical torment could possibly come anywhere close to matching.

Both Prowl and Ratchet stepped forward at the same time; each obviously intending to attempt to console the young femme. I placed a servo on Prowl's shoulder to hold him back, while I shook my helm at Ratchet. They instantly got the message. I stepped forward and knelt down next to Autumn where she was now curled into a fetal position while sitting against the back wall of the medbay.

That was when I heard the softly muttered words. I couldn't help it as the image of her twisted and broken frame lying at the bottom of a cliff crossed my vision, and I felt my spark clench in both pain and fear. To know that she believed death to be preferable to what she was now feeling tore at my spark. I placed my hand lightly on her back and began stroking downwards.

"This is not permanent Autumn. The only thing that is permanent here is the fact that you are safe with us. We will not hurt you Autumn… nor will we allow anyone else to do so." I told her softly.

"How… how do I know that?" She sobbed in a near wail of total despair.

"Autumn… if we wished you harm, would we have bothered, or even bestirred ourselves to get you away from the man who was hurting you? Before that, would we have bothered to check on you to make sure that you were healing properly? Would we even have cared enough to find out where you lived so that we could check on you?" I reached out and gently lifted her helm to look her in the optics.

"I do not want you to answer those questions for us. Instead, I want you to find those answers for yourself." I told her as I allowed a small smile to grace my faceplates.

"You have a home here now, Autumn; a home that will be as safe for you as we can possibly make it. The question is… will you give us the opportunity to give you the kind of home you should have had from the start?" I asked her softly while still gently stroking her back.

The young femme didn't answer. Instead, she curled into my chest plates and started sobbing even harder. I picked her up and stepped over to the medical berth to sit down. Then I pulled her firmly into my lap to let her cry, while I resumed stroking her back. Simple optic contact with Prowl, let him know that I would be a while and for him to allow us some privacy. I wanted Autumn to feel safe and unconstrained. That would not happen if she was surrounded and felt trapped, and I did not want her to feel that way. I looked over at Ratchet before glancing at the energon dispenser and sending him a brief message though my comm unit. Ratchet quickly filled a cube before adding a few minerals to it, set it down next to me, and left the medbay.

Autumn POV

My crying was finally starting to slow down, and I realized that I was being held in the lap of a very large mech. Whoever this was; they were a lot bigger than Blue or Prowl. Tears were still running down my faceplates when I looked up to see the face of the one called Optimus Prime. Stark terror ran through my frame, and I swear I felt the energon in my lines run cold. I was immediately trying to get out of his lap and away from him, but he was holding me steady. The weird part was, even though he wasn't letting me go so I could get away from him, he wasn't hurting me either.

"Easy Autumn… just relax and calm down. I won't hurt you; I promise. Just relax."

His voice was the weirdest thing I've ever heard. Deep, booming, and powerful like it would echo around the whole world, but at the same time, it was soft and rich. It was even sort of kind and gentle. It had a sound to it that was almost like he didn't know how to yell. Then I felt him stroking my back and it felt good. No… it felt wonderful!

It was… it was like he knew exactly what to do to make me feel better. I don't know how, and I don't know why, but for some reason I felt safe… and something kept telling me that I shouldn't feel that way. But I did.

I shuttered my optics and reveled in the feeling of his servo ghosting down my back. The touch was so light that it almost wasn't there… but it was there! It felt better than anything I could remember. Interfacing with Blue had been really good, but that was somehow different… this just felt… right!

I wasn't really thinking about anything as I curled back up in his lap and laid my helm against his chest plates. That was when I could hear and almost feel the rhythmic thump of his spark as it pulsed in his chest. Everything about this big mech seemed like it was larger than life… his size, his voice, and now even the sound of his spark was like nothing I'd ever heard or felt before.

"Autumn…"

I looked up at the large mech that I didn't really know all that much; I mean, I'd only met him once and maybe spoke to him one other time, so…

"You need to refuel. Your energon reserves are getting low. I instructed Ratchet to prepare a cube for you. There are some additives in this mixture. There is zinc to help strengthen the plating of your protoform, silicon for your processors, and gold for your conductive materials and wiring."

I couldn't help but stare at the cube of energon he was holding out to me; waiting for me to take it.

"Gold? You want me to drink gold?" I'd never even gotten lucky enough to ever have any gold jewelry, and now I was being told to drink it?

Optimus POV

"Yes, Autumn… I do want you to drink it. Your systems need the fuel, and you need those minerals to be at your best. Your frame is still developing in many ways. As you grow older, your processors will be able to handle more data. Your protoform will continue to grow slightly, and gold is well known to be the best natural electrical conductor available." I explained in a kind tone.

I knew that Autumn had a very traumatic past, and that her experiences with her own creator gave her every reason to be frightened of anyone in a position of authority. Prowl had also informed me of her creator's demise. It was surprising in that it had actually been recorded by one of the computers on the base, and I have watched it. I can almost wish to Primus that I hadn't.

Although his general appearance had changed in that he'd attempted to clean himself up some, it was immediately obvious that this was still the same individual that Ironhide, Jazz, Ratchet, Bluestreak, and myself had needed to rescue Autumn from. The very disturbing admissions made by the human only served to further illustrate why Autumn would be so fearful of those in positions of authority. If Autumn was to begin living some semblance of a normal life, she would have to be shown that she didn't need to fear those in control. That was part of the reason that I needed to be involved in her care, another part was that as a sparkling deprived of the Youth Centers, she would need to be cared for by all of us.

"You… you really want me to drink this? To drink gold? That stuff's expensive!"

"Yes Autumn, I do. We are not at all concerned with the expense, because you need those minerals. Do you not believe that you are worth caring for?" I asked her.

I had expected some type of affirmative answer. What I didn't expect, was the expression on her faceplates and the shock in her optics as she looked up at me. Doubt, apprehension, nervousness, and even some fear was there to be seen.

Bluestreak POV

I walked into the medbay to see Autumn curled up in the lap of Optimus Prime. She was staring up at him with an almost frightened look in her optics. I watched in silence for a few beats of my spark as Autumn searched his faceplates for something. I don't think she found what she was looking for because she looked down and shuddered, while her wings drooped in despair.

"Autumn… do… do you still… are you mad at me for what I did?" I stammered because I wasn't sure how to ask the question, and I wasn't sure I really wanted to know the answer.

"What did you do that I should be mad at you for?" She asked, looking at me with confusion.

I felt my wings droop in shame. What I had done to her would have had me offlined for simply trying such a thing on Cybertron before the war. It was unconscionable… taking advantage of a sparkling in such a way. I felt like rejected scrap.

"I… I took advantage of your age. I sparkbonded with you when you are still too young." I answered softly.

"Why would I be mad at you for that? That was the best thing that ever happened to me… and now it's gone!" She finished in a near shriek of despair.

"Autumn listen to me. You are still too young! If I had thought about it for just an instant, I would have realized that. I don't know how it was done, but removing our bond was for the best. I was told that we can renew our bond later, when you are ready… and… and if you'll let me… this time we can do it right." I told her strongly.

"What do you mean 'do it right'? What was wrong with the way we did it before?"

"What was wrong was that damned bet! I hate that I ever accepted it. I don't regret bonding with you. Never think that! What I regret is that making that pit slagging bet hurt you, and I never want that."

"You… you really mean that… don't you?" She asked me in a voice that quavered with the same doubt that was in her optics.

That was when I noticed that her optics were dimmer than they should be after recently coming out of recharge. I stepped forward and picked up the cube of energon that was sitting next to Optimus.

"Yes, Autumn, I do mean that. With all my spark I mean that. Here, you need to refuel, and this is just what Ratchet would order." I said with a hopeful smile while holding out the cube.

"But there's… he said there's gold in it!"

"Gold? Oh good! That's really great for your circuits." I exclaimed happily when she tried to protest.

"There is also zinc and silicon in it as well." Optimus added quietly with a light smile.

"Zinc for the protoform, silicon for the processors, gold for the circuits, and fuel for the systems, what more could a bot ask for? This is almost as good as high grade, except that you don't get overcharged and you don't end up with seriously achy processors in the morning!" I exclaimed.

Autumn just stared at me for a moment with her mouth hanging open. I didn't even have to read her wings to know that she was stunned. "Go ahead, drink it, you'll like it, I promise."

Autumn POV

I reached out and took the cube of energon from Blue. I couldn't help but stare at it for a bit. The strange pink color was swirling with a metallic hue that was really pretty to look at. It was almost too pretty to drink.

"Blue? Can… will we still be friends?" I asked hopefully, almost dreading the answer.

Then I saw the most wonderful smile cross his faceplates and his wings shot straight up. "Always! I'll always be here for you Autumn, and I will always be your friend."

When I heard that I couldn't help but smile. I took a sip of the energon and almost choked. It was sweet, rich, and incredible! It was almost like eggnog that had strawberries, cinnamon, rum, and sugar in it all at once. The only thing was there was none of that awful burn that came from the rum… just the flavor of it. This stuff was good! The only problem is the next thing I know, I'm looking at an empty cube. I didn't even remember drinking it.

That was when I felt Optimus shaking around me. I looked up to see that he was struggling to keep from laughing. Was he laughing at me?

"I would say that she liked it, wouldn't you agree Bluestreak?" Optimus asked with an even bigger smile and still chuckling.

"Absolutely. In fact, I think she needs another."

"Oh that I can agree with. Besides, as young as Autumn is, her systems do not yet have the efficiency to hold a charge for long periods of time like ours. If you would prepare a second cube with two point four ounces of each of those minerals in it, I would be grateful. I would do it myself, but I seem to be somewhat… occupied at the moment."

Optimus didn't actually laugh, but I swear that I could hear it in his voice, and see it in his optics when he said that. Then Bluestreak laughed when my tanks rumbled at the thought of getting more of that wonderful concoction. Suddenly my back was arching into the servo that was ghosting down the center of my back. It felt so good I shuttered my optics and reveled in the feeling. I don't know why he was doing this to me, but Optimus sure knew how to make me feel better about things.

Blue brought me the cube of energon, and this one had even more of the stuff in it, so the taste was a bit stronger, but it was still good, just really rich, so I had to go slow with it, like a super rich chocolate. It was one of those things that you just have to savor slowly.

Bluestreak POV

I watched Autumn as she slowly drank the energon while still curled up in Optimus Prime's lap. If she were in the lap of almost any other bot, I'd probably be incredibly jealous right now, but I knew Optimus was only trying to make Autumn feel safe and welcome. After what Prowl had shown and explained to me, I knew she needed that. Primus… she wasn't even a fourth of a vorn in age! It was the kind of thing that tore at my spark. The only thing that made me feel even a little better than scrap was that she said it was the best thing that had ever happened to her.

After what I had done to her, after the way I had taken full advantage of her youth and innocence… she still wanted me as a friend. The way she'd asked, it was almost as if she were afraid that I would say no. How could I say no… why would I say no? Autumn is the most amazing femme I've ever seen.

Most femmes I've seen preferred more action. They enjoyed races, whether they were watching or participating. They loved to go out and party or dance the entire lunar cycle. But not Autumn, sure she enjoyed driving, but then, what ground form didn't? Quiet talks, a sunset on the cliff by the ocean, the sounds of the waves crashing on the rocks, the scent of the trees. These were the things Autumn had enjoyed with me, peaceful things. Things that allowed me to forget the war, and all the bad memories it contained. That was what made Autumn so amazing to me. How could I not want the serene peace that seemed to be a part of that spark?

.:Ratchet to Bluestreak…:.

.:Go ahead Ratchet:.

.:Has Autumn consumed the energon I mixed for her?:.

.:Yes. She drank it down so fast that Optimus asked me to fix her a second cube of it.:.

.:Good, she needed that fuel. I put selenium in it to act as a sedative on her systems, so she'll go into recharge soon.:.

.:But she just came out of recharge.:. I protested.

.:She can still use some more, especially with those minerals she needs to absorb. There's going to be a meeting with all senior staff as soon as Autumn enters recharge…:.

.:And you want me to watch her?:. I asked interrupting.

.:No! I want you to attend the meeting. The following bots are to be there… Optimus, Prowl, Jazz, Ironhide, Myself, you and Smokescreen. That way I can give a full breakdown on Autumn's condition to all who will be immediately affected.:.

.:Yes Sir.:. Now I was worried. Obviously this wasn't going to be a typical meeting, and it concerned Autumn. That fact alone had me really worried.

.:Oh… and Bluestreak?:.

.:Yes?:.

.:Make sure your tanks are empty.:.