PALWORLD

A fuzzy little Lamball grazed contentedly on a tuft of digital grass. A metallic click rang out, and its ears perked up. Three shots fired. The sheep exploded into a shower of particle effects and low-level loot.

"Why do I keep getting torn wool and basic-quality meat?" Sato complained.

"I keep telling you dude, you need to go for headshots to get better loot." Kaminari waved some herbs around. "Think your cooking skills translate in-game?"

"They better! My hunger meter's getting low."

They passed rows of captive Pals whacking away at boulders, shoving ore into furnaces, and stacking rows of metal beams. As they passed, Sato grabbed a passing Chikipi and shook it until eggs popped out.

Sato paused by the stovetop. "Where are the knives?"

"Oh, that? You just put the ingredients in the pot and shake it up."

"Come on, really? They have realistic gun physics and couldn't be bothered to get the cooking right?"

"They're an indie studio, what do you expect?"

Grumbling, Sato artfully set the meat, eggs, flour, and herbs into the pot. He gave it a firm shake, spun the pot end over end, and tenderly dumped its contents onto a plate. The beef wellington shimmered ethereally as motes of light wafted in its curls of steam.

"Dude. I didn't know they had mythic-level food."

"Are I amazing or what? Bon appetit!"

Sato took a bite. His face shriveled into a look of pure dejection.

"They didn't even add flavor? Why?"

Kaminari chewed his portion. "Hey, wanna check on the girls? I bet they haven't even started mining yet."

With a few mid-air taps, the virtual environment flickered. Concrete streets spread out under their feet, and skyscrapers rose in a digital shimmer.

Kaminari scoffed. "What, did they get bored and start playing City Skylines?"

"Uh, Kaminari? I think we're still in Palworld."

Chikipis in suits scurried around them, checking watches and carrying briefcases. A bus full of Pals rumbled down the street, and fast food vendors hawked Lamball burgers to a line of sheep.

"Any idea where Momo is?" Sato asked.

Kaminari checked his map. "I'm guessing that giant building in the center."

The twin Paladius guarding the elevator parted at Momo's word. After a long elevator ride up, they found Momo on the phone.

"Just give them a three percent raise and throw them a pizza party. Keeping up with inflation would cut into our profit margins." She picked up another phone. "Senator, glad you called. I'd be more than happy to support your re-election. I appreciate a Pal that understands the dangers that unions pose to the economy." On a third phone, she said, "Run a segment about Taylor Sibelyx breaking up. Nothing like a little drama to make people forget rising interest rates." She looked up. "Oh hi guys. I'm glad you recommended this game to me. It's a refreshing challenge having to actually work to control the population."

Sato hurled digital chunks into the nearest trash can.

"Ooh! Legendary loot!"

500

Momo: pfft, you're still on slavery? I've almost reached the cyberpunk dystopia endgame.