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Beneath The Mountain
Chapter 5: New Town, New Friends
It was late in the evening.
The setting sun painted the sky in a fiery display of red and orange, as the surrounding forests of the Grizzlies began to grow darker.
However, the encroaching inky blackness of the night was pierced by a single sliver of light, coming from a lone campfire surrounded by a pair of men.
The first was a veteran cowboy, one of the last of his kind. He was well into his seventies, sporting a short beard with his face weathered and bearing the scars of a lifetime of hard work and rough riding.
His younger counterpart however, was almost the exact opposite. Not yet out of his teens, he was still fresh-faced and relatively handsome, aside from a couple of scars that could clearly be seen in his mustache. A permanent reminder of a failed, foolish hunting endeavor from a few years prior.
Earlier that day, the two of them had run into each other at a saloon in Saint Denis. They'd been sitting next to each other at the counter, and ended up exchanging a few words. The old man brought up that he was about to take a trip on horseback through the Grizzlies to Blackwater, and he needed a traveling partner.
The younger man inquired on why exactly he wanted to take a longer, treacherous, and considerably more out of the way route instead of going the much shorter and safer route through New Hanover, or even just going by rail or ferry.
The old man simply answered. "Sure, Blackwater's where my journey ends, but it ain't my destination."
"Really. So, where then?"
The old man seemed to grimace a little. "Colter."
The younger man gave him a confused look. "That rickety old ghost town?"
He simply nodded in response.
"But why?" He asked before taking a swig of his beer. "Place's been empty for decades. Ain't hardly anything there but a few crumbling buildings."
The old man seemed to give a slight scowl. "Well because that's where I grew up. I was born and raised in that 'rickety old ghost town'."
"Oh. Really?"
"Yes sir... But it was a long time ago. I don't believe I've set foot in that town in probably 50 odd years or so."
"Hmm, you just revisiting your past or something?"
He let out a slight chuckle before finishing his beer. "Yeah, I guess so. Something like that."
The man felt a bit of pity but mainly concern for the older gentleman. While he was by no means weak or sickly, and was actually remarkably healthy for a man of his age, he still didn't feel right about letting him ride out into the Grizzlies all by himself. Plus he had promised a decently sized reward for accompanying him on his journey, which was at least worth going out of his way for.
"Alright, oldtimer. I reckon I'll ride with you then."
"Good, I appreciate the company. Maybe this trip won't be so lonely after all." He said, ending it with a hearty chuckle.
"Anytime. Ain't like I got anything better to do anyways."
"Say, you got a name, son? I like to know a man's name before I ride out on the trails with him. Makes me feel better, y'know?"
"I understand, sir." he replied, outstretching his hand. "Jake Milton".
"Harold McConnell." replied the old man, returning his handshake and giving him a slight smile.
After stocking up on some supplies that would be essential to their journey at a nearby dry goods store, they set out on the open road. Luckily with it being the middle of summer, they wouldn't need to bring any cold weather gear, or have to worry about the dangerous winter weather that was common in the upper grizzlies during the colder months.
By now, they had spent the entire day riding. But with nightfall encroaching, they needed to find a spot to set up camp for the night, eventually settling on a spot near O'Creagh's Run..
After getting a fire going and setting up their camp, the men settled in. Passing a bottle of bourbon around, they prepared for the long and probably sleepless night ahead of them. To pass the time, they both began to exchange stories. Some were local tall tales and legends, and some were just life experiences.
As one would expect, the old man was doing most of the storytelling, as he knew enough tales to fill a series of novels with, all while smoking from his tobacco pipe.
While his compadre did have plenty of stories he could tell himself, he just sat there and listened to the oldtimer rattle on about when the west was still wild. A time that had long since ended, for better or for worse.
He let him do most of the talking partially out of politeness and respect, but mostly due to him being hesitant on telling people, let alone strangers, about certain details of his past. Details that could potentially land him in a mighty heap of trouble if the wrong set of ears were to hear them.
During all the old man's rattling however, his partner had been curious about something in particular. A question, which he asked after one of the old man's stories had concluded.
"So, mister. Do you have any stories that are on the... stranger side of things?"
"What do you mean, son?"
"You know. Any weird or scary encounters you may have had during some of your travels."
"Well, I was stalked by a mountain lion once..."
"Not that. Something weird, creepy. Something... unexplainable"
The old man shifted a bit, taking a long puff of his pipe.
"Unexplainable huh..." He appeared to be in a bout of deep thinking before his eyes seemed to light up.
"I know. I got one hell of a story, something which has stuck with me for a very long time."
"Really now. Mind telling it?"
"Sure, I'll tell you everything, If... you give me the rest of that whisky of course. Helps loosen this old mind up, y'know?"
His partner nodded and tossed him the bottle, the old man catching it before taking a large swig.
"Well, my friend." He said after gulping the liquor down. "This here's a long 'un, so get yourself comfy. I can't promise it'll be completely coherent either."
"It's fine, ain't no problem. Just start where you think's best."
The old man frowned for a moment, seemingly deliberating on where to start.
"...Have you ever heard of Mount Ebott?"
Honestly, I wasn't sure what to expect from a place like Snowdin.
Up until then, I had never actually seen what a civilized place down here looked like.
Sure, there were the ruins, but it was a desolate shadow of a city by that time.
Welcome To Snowdin! read a festive and brightly decorated sign, giving us a warm welcome to an inviting looking town.
Surprisingly, the town was... well, normal. Like any other town like you'd find on the surface. Almost reminding me of Strawberry in a way.
The only noticeable difference was, of course, all the monsters of varying shapes and sizes milling about.
It really wasn't much more than a few various buildings and houses built along a single stretch of road. There were a couple of businesses near the entrance that I could make out as a general store and an inn, both interconnected.
I was about to ask the kid where she thought we oughta go, but she was already a step ahead of me, and I saw her making her way towards the general store.
"Sigh. Dammit kid, wait up." I muttered. I followed along, momentarily pausing to let a group of kids go by, engaged in a game of kickball.
I opened the door for her and we entered the shop, where I was suddenly overtaken by the stark warmth and heavenly aroma of cinnamon. Almost reminded me of Toriel's house actually.
On the inside, it looked like any average general store you'd find on the surface, with shelves stocked with various goods and sundries. Complete with a large potbelly stove in the center, the source of the warmth.
"Oh, hi there! What can I do for you?" Called out a woman's voice from the left.
I turned to the direction it came from and found myself facing a tall, purple rabbit lady wearing a sun hat.
I figured that must've been the shopkeeper, considering she was standing behind the counter.
"Hi!" the kid greeted.
"Howdy." I joined in, tipping my hat.
"Hiya! Welcome to Snowdin! I don't believe I've seen either of you around here before. New in town?"
We both simultaneously nodded in response.
"Wonderful! I Can't remember the last time I saw some fresh faces around here. Say, where'd ya two come from, the capital?"
I shook my head. "We're from a small logging camp back in the woods."
"Oh, I see. Guess I should've known, you don't have that distinct capital accent. Plus you do look more like a rough n' tough lumberjack than one of those hoighty toighty city slickers from New Home. What brings you out here anyways?"
"Just passing through. I got a couple of days off, and my niece here wanted to go see the capital, so I'm taking her."
"Aww, how sweet of you. Well, if you'd like any directions, I'd be happy to help."
"Got a restaurant by any chance? I think the both of us could go for some grub right about now." I asked.
"Grillby's is what you're looking for, it's that brick building in the town square, can't miss it. Food's pretty good, but I wouldn't recommend going there if you're on a diet or got a heart condition. Place is a real greasebucket."
"Noted."
"But if you decide to hang around a little longer or just need someplace to stay for the night, my sister runs the inn next door. She charges good rates, and I promise she'll take good care of you. Oh, and if you're lookin' for some cheap entertainment, you can watch those wacky skeletons and their crazy antics. They're brothers I think."
"Believe me, I know exactly who you're talking about."
An understanding smirk crept across her face. "You've already run into them, haven't you?"
"You could say that. What's the story with them?"
She shrugged. "Heck if I know. Nobody really knows where they came from, they just showed up one day and began... asserting themselves. Town's got a lot more interesting since then."
"I could imagine."
"Well anyways, while you're here, please feel free to take a look around. Or if you're looking for something in particular..." She pulled out a thick pink book and laid it on the counter. "I'm sure you'll find it in the catalog. Makes it easier to find something specific, or if you need something ordered."
I took a look at the cover. It was very similar to one of the Rawson catalogs, but was pink with the title reading MTT & Co. Fall Catalog, with a cartoonish illustration of some smiling box-shaped thing propped on a singular wheel, carrying a couple of shopping bags.
The hell is this... thing supposed to be? I thought, pondering the weird character on the cover.
"Thanks, but I think I'm good for now."
"Alright, it's right here if you need it."
I started browsing the aisles, curious as to what kind of products a store down here would have while the kid started chatting with the shopkeeper.
Surprisingly or unsurprisingly, the stuff on the shelves was just your average everyday goods that you'd find at any old store on the surface, aside from a few products that were more suited for the needs of specific types of monsters, such as moisturizing scale cream or fur-fortifying tonic.
Among some of those, I took notice of a stack of purple-colored pomade cans and picked one of them up.
Mettaton's Fabulously Perfect Pomade. For hair and fur. There was another illustration of that weird box thing on the can, this time with a slicked back head of hair on top of it.
Seriously. What the hell is that supposed to be? I thought, pondering the odd caricature.
While I was doing some more looking around, I listened in on the conversation Frisk was having with the shopkeeper.
"Sooo... What's up with this town?" the kid asked.
"What do you mean?"
"Y'know, why is it here in the first place?"
"That's a good question. Think back to your history class... If you've had one at least, I'm not sure what you forest folk have in terms of schooling. Our ancestors used to live in the ruins back through the woods a long time ago."
"You mean behind those big doors?" the kid asked.
"That's exactly what I mean, pumpkin. Long story short, they all collectively decided they didn't like it there anymore so they up and left, heading towards the end of the cavern. Along the way, some fuzzy folk thought they liked the cold and set up camp here. That camp became a logging town which became what you see today."
"Oh, yeah. So how is life here?"
"Heh, you're a curious little one aren't you?" She shrugged. "It's cold, claustrophobic, same as always. But hey, knowing that freedom is right around the corner makes it easier to deal with. Long as we keep that hope up, we can grit our teeth and face the daily struggles... But I guess that's just life, now ain't it?"
"Ain't that the truth, sister." I said, finding that statement hitting home in more ways than one.
She silently nodded. "Maybe we'll all get to see the sun someday, breathe that fresh air for a change."
"Maybe we will, possibly even sometime soon." Frisk said, sounding hopeful.
The shop owner gave a slight chortle. "You're an optimistic one, aren't you? I guess that's one of the good parts about being a kid."
Right when I was browsing through the clothing department, I noticed something on one of the coat hangers that caught my eye.
Hello, what do we have here?
I pulled it off, revealing a brown longcoat.
No, not a longcoat, a duster. Almost exactly like the one my father had, but brand spanking new.
"Pardon me, miss. Where'd you get this?"
She looked up, and eyed the coat. "That old thing? I think one of my suppliers left it by accident. Nobody's bought it 'cause it ain't insulated and does nothin' for the cold. Why, you want it?"
"Perhaps."
"Tell you what. Since I like you, and since I've been trying to get rid of that dusty thing for a while and you're the first person who's offered to buy it, I'll give it to you for 30G. How's that sound?"
"It's a deal."
Before I actually bought it, I tried it on first, just to make sure it would actually fit me. It was a bit large, but other than that, it fit relatively well.
"Also, one last thing." I pulled out my broken pocketwatch and laid it on the counter. "You know anybody who could fix this?"
She looked at it with a slight hint of bemusement and examined it for a moment. "Wow. Take a look at this thing... Is it an antique?"
I shook my head. "Don't think so. Can't be more than thirty years old."
"Thirty huh?"
She handed the watch back to me. "I can't say I personally know anyone who could fix something like that, but I'm sure there's probably a few watchmakers in the capital that could probably take a look at it."
I put the duster on the counter as well as a can of pomade, and inquired about the cinnamon smell that hung around the shop.
"Oh. That's from my famous cinnabuns. They're these little cinnamon rolls shaped like bunnies. They're my own recipe, and the folk around here can't get enough of 'em, perfect for the weather around here."
I ended up buying a couple, one for the kid and one for myself.
After paying for the items and exchanging farewells, we exited the store and walked back down the street, going near the inn.
"Snowed Inn" I said, reading the sign. "Again with the terrible puns." which elicited a slight giggle from the kid.
Right in front of the general store/inn however, was another one of those boxes like we encountered in the forest earlier.
"Is that what I think it is?" I asked my compadre.
"Looks like it."
"Think it worked?"
"Hmm... Only one way to find out."
I followed her over to the box, where she opened the lid and sure enough, the same stick was sitting inside it.
"Well I'll be." I said.
"I guess it works then." The kid remarked. She put a few various items that I assumed she didn't need at the moment into the box. "Hey, least it means we got a place to keep stuff we don't need but don't wanna get rid of.
I went after her, folding up the new duster and placing it in the box along with my broken watch. I figured if this box thing really works and there'll be more like it down the road, I'd keep my duster in it until I'd actually needed it.
We left the box behind and continued on our merry way. Ahead of us were two more rabbit people, one being a younger girl with some kinda pet on a leash, the other being a guy, standing a bit of a ways from her with a look of obvious contempt on his face.
As we got close to him, I heard him quietly call out "Psss, hey pal."
"What's that?" I responded.
"You see that lady over there?"
"Uh, yeah I reckon so."
"Something about her disturbs me, but I don't know why."
"Yeah, good for you buddy."
I walked away from him and let the kid catch up, soon passing by the rabbit girl who looked perfectly normal (for underground standards at least), aside from the fact that the creature on the leash was actually a normal-sized rabbit.
Huh. Maybe that guy has a point after all.
I guess she must've noticed that I was looking at her pet, since she ended up speaking to me.
"Oh, isn't my little cinnamon roll the cutest?"
"Uh, yeah sure."
"I know! Bun-buns are sooo adorable! tee hee" she fawned.
"That's nice..."
I kept walking, not really sure what to make of the whole scene.
"He's kinda right. It's a bit weird that she has a pet that's the same species as her." The kid remarked.
"Yeah well, things around here ain't exactly all that normal in the first place."
"True, you do have a point."
As we made our way to the center of town, I noticed something familiar, yet out of place, sitting in the middle of the road.
"Is that a Christmas tree?" The kid asked, mirroring my thoughts.
Sure enough, it was one of the local conifers which had been decorated in tinsel, ornaments, with a big star at the top and even some presents underneath it.
Aside from the fact that it was the middle of October, what made it so weird was the fact that it was down here in the first place.
Do these monsters celebrate Christmas? I thought to myself, bewildered.
We got closer and I went up and observed it, standing next to a white bear who was leaving a present under the tree.
"Bit early for Christmas, ain't it?" I remarked aloud.
"Christ-mas?" The monster replied dumbfoundedly. "What's that?"
"It's... Nevermind. Just curious about this tree thing."
"Ohhh. Well, you see, there's a monster that lives outside of town in the forest, and a bunch of awful teens decorated his horns like this. So we started giving that monster presents to help him feel better and it just became a town tradition after that."
"I see. But why didn't anyone just take the decorations off?" I said, remembering the weird deer monster we helped out.
"I- Hm... I don't know. Never really thought of that actually."
I let the bear continue with its gift giving, as I started making my way over to the first brick building I saw, with Grillby's clearly painted on its facade.
That must be the place. I thought while walking by Frisk, who was talking to one of the kids from earlier, some yellow lizard thing who was noticeably lacking any arms and wearing a striped sweater that matched his own colors.
"Yo! You're a kid too, right?" He asked.
"Yeah, I guess?" Frisk replied.
"I can tell because you're wearing a striped shirt."
It did get me thinking. Every single kid I'd seen down here had a striped shirt. Even the wardrobe at Toriel's was full of nothing but striped shirts, and every single one of those kids who were playing kickball earlier seemed to have on some sort of striped shirt.
Must be some sort of fashion trend. Guess it ain't quite hit the surface yet.
I went up to Grillby's and looked inside through the big window out front, only to see that the restaurant was absolutely slammed. Every table was full, and there was a line almost reaching the door.
Damn. Ain't no way we're gettin' in there right now. I looked at a clock that was mounted inside, which clearly read 12:32. Must be the middle of lunch rush, figures.
Frisk came up beside me, and stood on her toes to get a peek inside the restaurant, making a whistling noise when she saw how packed it was.
"I guess we're not eating, huh?" She asked flatly, already knowing the answer.
I shook my head in response. "Let's just look around for a little bit more. Maybe it'll clear quicker than we think."
"Aye aye, captain."
There were a few monsters who were standing around outside, either waiting like we were, or just loitering in general. Another bear, along with a short mouse with an oversized scarf that took up half its face, and a thing that I could only describe as a living scarecrow with bull horns.
"Funny thing, this town doesn't have a mayor, or even a city council." The bear told me.
"It doesn't?"
"No, if there's ever a problem here, a certain skeleton will run and tell a certain fish lady about it, and she'll come right in and fix it. Thaaaaaat's politics!"
"Interesting. You oughta write for the local paper." I replied facetiously.
"Oh believe me pal, I'd love to. But they'd rather fill the papers with crossword puzzles and junior jumble instead, since nothing interesting ever happens around here apparently." I heard him make an audible scoff. "Nuts, I say."
The mouse with the scarf, on the other hand, was the dictionary definition of a negative nancy.
"Everyone's always laughing and cracking jokes, but they're just trying to forget our modern crises: dreariness, crowding, lack of sunlight..."
"Jeez pal, you must be real fun at parties." I replied.
"Oh, no mister, I don't get invited to any."
"Really? How come? I asked, the sarcasm bleeding into my voice by now.
"I don't know. I guess I'm just not a real funny person, y'know?"
"Yeeeaaah, couldn't tell."
"Aw, don't listen to him." Said the scarecrow-looking thing. "We all know the underground has problems, but we still smile and laugh anyways. Can't really do much about being stuck down here and facing these conditions, so why be morose about it?"
"Now that's the spirit." I chuckled.
I saw Frisk walk ahead and take a street that went left, so I followed her. It led us to a residential area, where I observed her knocking on the door of a nearby house.
"Ah, what a beautiful knock... Maybe if I don't answer, I'll hear it again." I heard through the door, prompting her to knock again. "Ahh, my patience rewards me!"
"Frisk, knock it off." I said, cringing upon realizing that I was even starting to make terrible puns now. "You don't know what kinda people could be on the other side of that door."
She obliged, and we went further down the boulevard until it suddenly stopped where the river was located.
"Huh, guess this is a dead e-" Frisk started, before being interrupted by a familiar electronic beeping.
Who in the hell could be calling us? I thought. Could it be Toriel?
The kid answered, and I leaned in close to hear who was on the other line.
"Hello!" Answered an unfamiliar voice. "May I speak to a G... Wait a minute, is this the wrong number?"
"Uhh.." Frisk started, before getting interrupted by... singing?
"Oh it's the wrong number, the wrong number song! We're very very sorry that we got it wrong!" the caller sang twice before hanging up.
Frisk and I were befuddled to say at the least.
"What the hell was that all about..." Frisk asked, a question none of us could begin to answer.
"Trust me, kid. It's better to just accept this stuff for what it is than to question it. It makes all this easier to deal with."
"Yeah, I guess so."
The both of us went back the way we came, pausing for a moment to watch a muscular wolf repeatedly throw blocks of ice into the river that came off a nearby conveyer belt from an ice making machine. We watched him do this a few times before I noticed that someone else had joined us.
This monster looked like a large owl, and was dressed very normally for my standards. He was sporting a brown three-piece suit with a matching bowler hat and also wore a pair of spectacles with a tobacco pipe hanging from his beak.
"Ah yes, that chap over there is Ice Wolf."
"Ice Wolf, huh. Why's he throwing those ice blocks?" I inquired.
"They help cool the CORE, as well as supply it with extra water and it's his job to keep throwing them in. Rather important job really, considering the entire underground gets their electricity from it."
I wasn't exactly sure what this 'core' was, but I assumed it was just a power station with a fancy name, but why it would need to be cooled like this was beyond my reckoning.
I'll probably find out later anyways.
"Yeah but, can't they just extend the conveyor belt? It'd make it to where he wouldn't have to keep throwing them in constantly."
The owl just shrugged and puffed his pipe. "It's a job, dear boy. The job market down here isn't exactly the bees knees so to speak, so some of these poor blokes have to take what they can get."
With nothing else of note to see, we returned to the main street and gallivanted down it once more until we came across another brick building, this one with a carved granite sign above the doorway that clearly read 'Librarby'.
"Seems like whoever carved that sign wasn't the world's best speller." remarked the kid.
"Yeah, no kidding."
However, my gaze migrated over towards the building next to it, which stuck out like a sore thumb.
It was a two-story house that had a pirate flag flying over it. There were two mailboxes in front of it, one of which was just an average mailbox, and the other comically overflowing with god-knows-how-many letters stuffed in it. It didn't take a detective to figure out which pair of boneheads this house belonged to.
"You think they're home?" The kid asked, apparently already coming to the same conclusion as me.
"I don't know, but I really don't want to find out right now." I replied, not wanting to deal with them right now, especially in the middle of a busy town.
Luck was on my side though, and neither Papyrus nor his slothful brother showed up.
"C'mon." I beckoned to the kid. "Let's keep going."
"I think we're at the edge of town though. Don't you still wanna get something to eat?" She replied.
"I don't think we've let enough time pass. Plus we've got those cinnamon buns if any of us get real hungry."
"You seem to be in a bit of a hurry though."
"Look ahead." I pointed to what appeared to be the end of the cavern, with an opening that marked a clear exit that led out of Snowdin.
"...An exit."
"I wanna scout it out a little bit, at least give us an idea of what we'll be getting into next."
"Alright then, lead the way."
We left town and started making our way towards the exit, when all of a sudden, the snowfall started growing heavier, and the wind began to pick up. The storm kept intensifying until it was a complete whiteout.
I grabbed the kid's hand and made sure she was close to me as we braved the unexpected tempest.
"Where the hell did this storm even come from!?" I heard her shout.
"I don't know!" I yelled back.
However just as fast as it came, it began to die down as the wind slowed and the snow began to dissipate. However, as the whiteout began to lessen, I could faintly make out a silhouette standing right in front of our path, the silhouette that belonged to a certain wannabe warrior skeleton.
Oh for Christ's sake.
"HUMANS!" Papyrus shouted. "THERE ARE SOME... COMPLEX FEELINGS I'VE BEEN HAVING THAT I WOULD BE REMISS TO NOT EXPLAIN TO YOU!"
"And what would these 'feelings' be?!" I yelled back.
"FEELINGS LIKE... THE JOY OF FINDING ANOTHER PASTA LOVER, THE ADMIRATION FOR PUZZLE-SOLVING SKILLS, THE DESIRE FOR SOMEONE BOTH COOL AND SMART TO FIND YOU COOL AS WELL! THESE FEELINGS..."
Oh great, here it comes.
"...ARE EXACTLY WHAT I ASSUME THE TWO OF YOU ARE FEELING RIGHT AT THIS VERY MOMENT!"
Excuse me?
"OH, I CAN HARDLY IMAGINE THE JOY AND ELATION THAT MUST COME WITH FEELING THAT WAY! I AM THE GREAT PAPYRUS AFTER ALL! I HAVEN'T HAD TO WONDER WHAT HAVING A LARGE CIRCLE OF FRIENDS IS LIKE!"
I wasn't sure whether I should've laughed or felt sorry for him, all I really felt at the moment was a slight bit of befuddlement.
"I pity you, lonely humans..." He said, continuing his tirade. "BUT, WORRY NOT! FOR I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, DECLARE THAT YOU SHALL BE LONELY NO LONGER, FOR I SHALL BE YOUR..."
He suddenly stopped his spiel, and by now the snow had lessened to the point where I could clearly see that he was having some sort of internal struggle.
"No... No, this is all wrong... I CAN'T BE YOUR FRIEND!"
Oh great, here we go. I thought, mentally preparing myself for another fight.
"YOU ARE HUMANS, AND BECAUSE OF MY SWORN DUTY, I MUST CAPTURE YOU! THEN I CAN FINALLY FULFILL MY LIFELONG DREAM! I'LL BE POWERFUL, I'LL BE POPULAR, I'LL BE PRESTIGIOUS!" He shouted at the top of his alleged lungs. "I WILL BE THE GREAT PAPYRUS, THE NEWEST MEMBER OF THE ROYAL GUARD!"
FIGHT INITIATED
*PAPYRUS ATK 8 DEF 2
"Alright kid, you ready for this?"
"Ready as I'll ever be!" She responded, surprisingly confidently.
Papyrus started his first attack, which turned out to be very underwhelming.
He sent a few short, stubby, and slow moving bone attacks our way which none of us had to even make an effort to dodge.
Our turn came next, and Frisk made the first move. "It's true Papyrus. You are a cunning warrior and an excellent cook, and there's nothing more I would want than to be your friend!"
The hell are you doing kid-
"OH HO HO, SO THE SIDEKICK FINALLY REVEALS THEIR TRUE FEELINGS. W-WELL, I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW THAT I AM A SKELETON WITH VERY HIGH STANDARDS!"
"But I can make spaghetti. My master taught me as a matter of fact."
I started to catch on to what Frisk was doing, which became even more evident as I watched Papyrus's face suddenly shift.
"OH NO! MY STANDARDS, YOU'RE MEETING ALL OF THEM! I GUESS THIS MEANS WE'LL HAVE TO BE FRIENDS, MAYBE EVEN GO ON A DATE..? P-PERHAPS LATER, AS THIS MUST BE DONE NOW!"
Another round of bone attacks came our way, and just like the last, we didn't have to move a muscle.
It was my turn now, but I wasn't exactly sure what to do. I obviously couldn't attack him, but I wasn't sure what to say without parroting what Frisk said earlier.
"That snowstorm was stronger than your attacks!" I yelled at him.
"WHAT'S THIS? ARE YOU TRYING TO MAKE ME FEEL BETTER ABOUT FIGHTING YOU? HOW SELFLESS... I DON'T DESERVE SUCH HOSPITALITY!"
With nothing else I could really do, I just stood there.
"SO, NEITHER OF YOU WILL FIGHT ME? WELL THEN, LETS SEE IF YOU TWO CAN HANDLE MY FABLED 'BLUE ATTACK'!
I scoffed. "This should be easy."
"Yeah, if Sans was telling the truth that is." The kid reminded me.
We stood absolutely still, and an array of light-blue colored bones sped toward us. Just like the last time however, we stood completely still as each one of them went right through us without so much as a pinch."
"Heh, told ya kid."
All of a sudden, both of our little heart things turned blue and dropped on the ground. Wait, what the hell? I thought as I tried moving mine, realizing that some sort of gravity spell or something had been placed on them, and while I could make it 'jump' up, it would immediately come back down.
"You were saying?" She replied.
"THIS IS MY BLUE ATTACK." yelled Papyrus. "NOW YOU'RE BOTH BLUE! NYEH HEH HEH HEH HEH!"
Well, that's just fantastic.
Another round of bone attacks headed toward us. As you could probably imagine, it was considerably harder to dodge them, as we actually had to time our jumps to make it over them.
A few rounds went by and the attacks continued to get taller, faster, and harder to miss. I even managed to hit one after failing to jump on time, which hurt like a bitch.
"I'M WARNING YOU!" Papyrus yelled after I spared him again. "DO NOT FORCE ME TO USE MY SPECIAL ATTACK!"
Wait, I thought this was your special attack.
This time the attacks came from behind us, which ended up catching us off-guard. A few of the bone attacks even came from the top instead of the ground, forcing us to do some extra maneuvering.
The cycle repeated for a good while. One of us would spare him, and he'd send a harder range of attacks that we'd try to dodge, all while he'd make some sort of self-indulgent remark about all the fame and accolades he'd receive.
However during one of these rounds, he said something that differed from his usual self-serving tirades.
"SURE, I'LL HAVE LOTS OF ADMIRERS... BUT, WILL ANY OF THEM EVEN LIKE ME SINCERELY? ESPECIALLY AS SINCERELY AS YOU TWO?" I could even detect some doubt creeping into his usual heroic voice.
"PEOPLE LIKE YOU ARE RARE... AND GOING ON A FRIENDLY OUTING MIGHT BE RATHER DIFFICULT IF YOU ARE CAPTURED AND SENT AWAY."
By now, the both of us had received a right and proper beating. As they became more difficult to dodge, we started getting hit by them more and more. We even had to eat those cinnabuns, which were absolutely delicious and acted as a good morale boost, just to keep our health to an acceptable level.
"UGH... COME ON, PLEASE. WE ALL KNOW HOW THIS ENDS, JUST MAKE IT EASIER FOR ALL OF US AND YIELD ALREADY!"
"You'd like that wouldn't you!" I yelled back in reply. "Gonna take a lot more than that!"
"VERY WELL THEN, WE'LL KEEP DOING IT THE HARD WAY. BUT BE WARNED, IF YOU DO NOT GIVE UP, I WILL BE FORCED TO USE MY SPECIAL ATTACK!"
Despite his warnings, we continued to persist. After a few more rounds and a few more warnings, Papyrus finally had enough.
"ALRIGHT THEN!" Papyrus shouted. "I'VE WARNED YOU, BUT TIME AND TIME AGAIN YOU'VE REFUSED TO LISTEN! NOW BEHOLD, MY SPECIAL ATTACK!"
Another bone came into the area, but this one had a little white dog gnawing on it.
"WHAT THE- HEY! THAT'S MY SPECIAL ATTACK! STOP MUNCHING ON THAT BONE AT ONCE!"
In response, the little dog picked up the bone and scurried off.
"HEY! COME BACK HERE RIGHT NOW, YOU STUPID MUTT! ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME AT ALL?" but despite his shouting, the dog managed to run off with his 'special attack'.
"Oh bother." Papyrus groaned, shaking his head. "Well, it appears I'll just have to use a very cool-looking normal attack in lieu of my special one." -sigh- "Well, here it is."
The attack was by no means normal however, and it made glad he wasn't able to use his special attack as we'd likely be goners if he did.
The bones constantly shifted from tall to short, some moved slow and others moved rapidly. Some were even arranged to say "cool dude". Despite the fact we got hit more in this round than any other, we persevered and kept going..
By now, Papyrus was noticeably checked out. The loss of his special attack, paired with the fact that we made it through his other attacks, meant that he likely hadn't any more tricks up his sleeve.
"WELL... IT'S... IT'S CLEAR YOU CAN'T DEFEAT ME!"
We were both beaten down and weary from the fight. It was clear that Papyrus was much tougher than he looked and that I'd completely underestimated him. Plus, I was actually sort of impressed that despite all this, he still managed to think that he was the victor despite the fact it was clearly a draw.
But that didn't matter much to me. The point was, all three of us were still alive and in one piece, something which I was very thankful for.
"YEAH, I CAN SEE THE BOTH OF YOU QUAKING IN YOUR BOOTS!" he continued. "THEREFORE, I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, WILL DO THE HONORABLE THING AND GRANT YOU PITY. I SPARE YOU, HUMANS! NOW IS YOUR CHANCE TO ACCEPT MY MERCY!"
Thankful that Papyrus was finally yielding, Frisk and I accepted his terms.
The battle finally ended, and our souls retreated back where they came from. After the battle I observed Papyrus standing by the river, looking absolutely forlorn.
"Nyoo hoo hoo... I can't even stop someone as weak as you." He lamented. "Undyne's gonna be so disappointed in me. I'll never get to join the royal guard, and I won't get any more friends."
I felt Frisk lightly elbow me and saw her point towards him, and I knew what I had to do.
"But... I still want to be your friend!" Frisk said. I felt her elbow me again, so I chimed in.
"Yes, I concur! We'd both be more than happy to make your acquaintance."
He immediately perked up. "REALLY! YOU WANT TO BE FRIENDS WITH ME!?"
"Yeah!" "Yeah, sure." We both replied.
"WELL THEN... I GUESS I CAN MAKE AN ALLOWANCE FOR THE BOTH OF YOU. FANTASTIC, WE HAVEN'T EVEN HAD OUR FIRST DATE AND WE'RE ALREADY FRIENDS!"
"Right." I replied, a bit reluctantly.
"WHO KNEW THAT ALL I NEEDED TO DO WAS GIVE PEOPLE AWFUL PUZZLES AND THEN FIGHT THEM? YOU'VE TAUGHT ME A LOT, HEROIC HUMANS! I HEREBY GRANT YOU PERMISSION TO PASS!"
I decided what the hell? and answered back in my Lancelot voice. "Great Papyrus! You truly are a great warrior. However, you have learned that not all battles have to be won through force, rather, some can be won through peaceful resolution!"
"THANK YOU! THIS HAS TRULY BEEN A RATHER ENLIGHTENING EXPERIENCE! NOW, DO ANY OF YOU KNOW HOW TO GET BACK TO THE SURFACE?"
Both of us shook our heads. None of us had any real idea on how to get out of this place, so hearing this knowledge would be very helpful.
"THEN I SHALL GIVE YOU THE DIRECTIONS MYSELF, COURTESY OF YOUR NEW FRIEND, THE GREAT PAPYRUS. ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS FOLLOW THIS ROAD UNTIL YOU REACH THE END OF THE CAVERN. THEN, WHEN YOU REACH THE CAPITAL, CROSS THE BARRIER."
I remembered hearing about this 'barrier' earlier from that book at Toriel's house.
"IT'S THE MAGICAL SEAL THAT KEEPS ALL OF US MONSTERS TRAPPED UNDERGROUND. ANYTHING AN ENTER THROUGH IT, BUT NOTHING CAN EXIT."
I felt very uneasy upon hearing this information, like a pit had formed in my stomach.
Nothing? Are we fucking trapped down here too?
"EXCEPT." Papyrus said, almost as if answering my question. "SOMEONE WITH A POWERFUL SOUL CAN EXIT THROUGH IT, LIKE YOU TWO."
That information helped put me more at ease.
"IT'S THE REASON WHY THE KING KEEPS TRYING TO ACQUIRE A HUMAN , SO HE CAN OPEN THE BARRIER WITH THEIR SOUL POWER! THEN US MONSTERS CAN FINALLY RETURN TO THE SURFACE ONCE MORE!"
"Huh. I guess that makes sense." Frisk replied.
"OH, AND I ALMOST FORGOT TO TELL YOU! THE ROYAL CASTLE IS BUILT AROUND THIS EXIT, SO IN ORDER TO REACH THE EXIT..."
Oh, I don't like where this is going.
"...YOU'LL HAVE TO PASS THROUGH THE KING'S CASTLE AND CONFRONT ASGORE, THE KING OF ALL MONSTERS!"
Of fucking course we do. I thought in despair, my imagination coming up with all sorts or horrifying images of what their king looked like.
"NOW, ABOUT THE KING..." He continued. "HE IS..."
Oh no.
"...WELL..."
I was expecting him to say he was 12 feet tall and ate nails for breakfast.
"HE'S A BIG FUZZY PUSHOVER!"
"Uh... Excuse me?" I replied in befuddlement.
"OH YEAH, EVERYONE LOVES THE GUY! I'M CERTAIN IF YOU JUST GO UP TO HIM AND SAY 'EXCUSE ME, MR. ASGORE... CAN I PLEASE GO HOME?' HE'LL GUIDE YOU RIGHT TO THE BARRIER HIMSELF!"
Well. I definitely wasn't expecting that.
"WELL ANYWAYS, I'D BEST BE GOING. IF YOU NEED ME, OR ARE READY TO 'HANG OUT', I'LL BE AT MY HUMBLE ABODE! IT'S THE FIRST HOUSE ON THE RIGHT, FEEL FREE TO DROP BY ANYTIME!"
"Uh huh." I said, having my suspicions about that house confirmed.
Papyrus let out another "NYEH HEH HEH" before somersaulting right over us and running back to his house.
"Well... That sure was something." I said, wearily.
"You can say that again." my compadre replied.
I just then noticed that we were right at the exit that led out of Snowdin.
"Hey, that's convenient. Ready to scout out this exit?" I asked the kid.
"Hmm... I dunno. I actually think I'm ready to hang out with Papyrus."
"You're... Joking, right?"
"Aw c'mon, I don't think it'll be that bad. Paps seems like a pretty cool guy despite the whole hero persona."
"Yeah, I guess you're right. Alright, we'll go over and you can do your little social call."
I started walking back towards the casa de skeleton, when Frisk ran up in front of me.
"Wait, mine?"
"Yeah, it's your idea after all. I think it'd be kinda awkward with three people, dontcha think? Plus you might be able to relate to him better than I could." I explained. "Cuz you're a kid, and he… well… kinda acts like one."
"Yeah, I guess you're right. But what if, unlikely but still hypothetically, Papyrus uses it as a trap to attack me again?"
"C'mon kid, you know as well as I do that he ain't gonna do that. Plus you can take care of yourself just fine, you've done well in those fights. I haven't even had to save your ass once."
She gave me another grin and shook her head a little. "Alright, fine. We'll make this a solo mission then."
"Atta girl."
We got up to the house, where Paps was waiting for us out front.
"OH! YOU ALREADY WANT TO HANG OUT WITH ME?" Papyrus exclaimed. "You must be really serious about this... LOOKS LIKE I'LL HAVE TO TAKE YOU SOMEPLACE SPECIAL!"
"And where would that be?" Frisk asked.
"FOLLOW ME, AND I'LL SHOW YOU!"
Paps briskly walked towards the center of town, and Frisk and I followed. He went to the town square before turning around and leading us back to his house.
"MY HOUSE!" Paps bolted inside, leaving the door standing wide open.
We followed him inside, and I was immediately surprised by how... normal it looked.
Aside from some strange boxlike doohickey, which I would later learn was a 'television', the furniture and interior looked like any house you'd find on the surface. There was even a flight of stairs that led to a second story which housed a couple of doors. The skeleton brother's rooms I figured.
"WELCOME TO MY HUMBLE ABODE, TAKE YOUR TIME AND ENJOY YOURSELF! PARDON ANY MESS YOU MAY COME ACROSS, IT'S MOST LIKELY MY BROTHER'S, SINCE THAT LAZYBONES NEVER LIKES TO CLEAN UP AFTER HIMSELF."
I noticed a little rock sitting on a plate on the dinner table, covered in sprinkles.
"THAT'S MY BROTHER'S PET ROCK!"
"Pet rock, huh." I replied. "Why's it covered in sprinkles?"
"THAT'S WHAT PET ROCKS EAT! BUT MY BROTHER CONSTANTLY 'FORGETS' TO FEED IT, SO AS PER USUAL, I HAVE TO TAKE RESPONSIBILITY."
"Yeah, alright then." I entered the kitchen, and noted that the appliances looked pretty similar to the ones at Toriel's house. At least, aside from the sink, which for some reason was taller than their electric icebox.
"MY BROTHER ALWAYS GOES OUT TO EAT, NEVER REALLY MAKES HIS OWN FOOD OR EATS ANY OF MY COOKING. BUT RECENTLY, HE TRIED BAKING SOMETHING THAT LOOKED LIKE A QUICHE, BUT WAS FILLED WITH SOME SUGARY NON-EGG SUBSTANCE. PREPOSTEROUS, AM I RIGHT?"
"I think that's called a pie, partner." I replied, trying to remove any hint of sarcasm from my voice.
"PIE? OOH! I LIKE THAT NAME."
The kid went over to the icebox, opening the door and looking inside.
"AH-HA! INTERESTED IN MY FOOD MUSEUM I SEE? PLEASE, PERUSE MY CULINARY ART SHOW, I INSIST!"
The inside of the icebox was separated into two halves, one of them being nothing but containers of spaghetti, and the other being an empty tin of Spring Valley brand potato chips. It was pretty obvious which side belonged to who.
I was still hungry, and almost asked Paps if I could have some of the spaghetti, until I remembered what his brother told me about eating his cooking.
"Hey Paps." I said, examining the unnecessarily tall sink. "What's the matter with this sink?"
"OH, ARE YOU IMPRESSED? I INCREASED THE HEIGHT OF MY SINK."
"But why?" The kid asked.
"SO I CAN FIT MORE BONES UNDERNEATH IT. TAKE A LOOK FOR YOURSELF!"
I obligately opened the sink cabinet door, revealing an empty cabinet, aside from the same dog from earlier chewing on a single bone.
"WHAT! CATCH THAT MEDDLING CANINE!"
Before any of us could react however, the dog made a run for it and bolted out the front door.
"ACK, CURSES!" Paps yelled.
The right door on the second floor opened, and Sans leaned out holding a trombone. He played the classic 'womp womp wooooomp' sound that was a staple of intentionally bad comedy acts, before leaning back in and shutting the door.
"SAAAAANS! WILL YOU PLEASE STOP PLAGUING MY LIFE WITH INCIDENTAL TROMBONE MUSIC?" Paps said in response.
The kid and I were confounded, but slightly entertained as well. I could even hear her trying to suppress a laugh.
Wonder if happenings like these are normal for these boneheaded bozos.
"WELL, IF YOU'RE FINISHED LOOKING AROUND, WOULD YOU LIKE TO SEE MY ROOM? IT'S SUPER COOL!"
"Sure!" The kid responded jubilantly.
"I'd love to, but I gotta go run a couple of errands."
"OH, IT'S QUITE ALRIGHT! COME ALONG MERLIN, I GOT SOME COOL ACTION FIGURES I THINK YOU'LL LIKE!"
Frisk and Papyrus entered his room, while I hung around the living room for a little while longer.
I examined some of the decorations that Paps had adorned his door with, one of them being a red, otogonal sign with the words "STOP" boldly printed in the middle.
"So that's what a stop sign is. Interesting."
I went over to the 'television', which was essentially a wooden box with a glass screen, and a few dials marked VOLUME, CHANNEL and VHF/UHF. I tried turning it on, and saw some moving pictures appear on the glass screen. It was an advertisement for some kind of resort, but the odd thing was the picture not only had color, but sound as well.
"Wow." I said, utterly amazed.
Not only had they figured out how to bring a picture show into the home, but they even managed to get it in sound and color.
I sat on the sofa, wanting to watch a little more of the moving pictures, but I heard an audible jingling sound come from the couch as soon as I sat down.
"Hold on, what do we have here?" I looked around, making sure the coast was clear, before I looked under the couch and found a bunch of loose coins adding up to 20G.
"Well, I probably shouldn't take these... Aw hell, if they wanted them, they would've already picked 'em up."
I pocketed the coins and realized that it'd been a while, and Grillby's was probably a lot less busier now. I had some reservations about leaving the kid here, but figured she'd be fine, this was probably the safest place for her anyways.
I shut off the moving picture device and walked outside. I noticed that Snowdin was not as bustling as it was about an hour ago, or however long it had been, as I made my way over to Grillby's and entered the establishment.
Walking into Grillby's was an... interesting experience. The place was warm, cozy, and nowhere near as crowded as it once was. I removed my coat and hat, hanging them on a coat rack by the entranceway, and took a good look at the interior of the place.
The restaurant was nothing too fancy. It had bare brick walls, wood flooring, rows of booths on either side of the place with some tables in-between. It also had a bar, a strange looking machine that looked to be some sort of phonograph, and some kind of sign that appeared to be made out of colored glowing glass tubes, which spelled Grillby's in a decorative manner.
Although not crowded, the place did have plenty of monsters inside, some I'd seen before, and others that I hadn't.
Immediately, I noticed that every single guard dog that we'd ran into back in the forest was inside this restaurant. I tensed up a little, but luckily none of them seemed to recognize me as none of them paid me any attention.
I began walking up to the counter, passing by a booth where another rabbit, clearly drunk off her ass, was audibly lamenting about... something.
"No matter where I go, it's always the same menu, the same people... I want some new drinks, and some h-h-hot guys" As soon as I got near her booth, she looked up at me. "H-hey, you're pretty hot-"
"Sorry miss, maybe another time." I lied.
"Oh... I guess the bartender's pretty h-h-hot."
I took a look at the bartender, realizing that she was right. The bartender, which I went out on a limb and guessed was the eponymous Grillby, was what you'd get if you took pure fire, shaped it into a humanoid form, and dressed in a tuxedo vest and glasses.
Least he's got a good sense of dress. I silently remarked as I made my way over to the counter and took a seat.
There were four other monsters seated at the bar. One of them I recognized as the ugly monster who's picture was on the end of that fishing rod, while the other three were bird-type monsters.
Wonder if he's found himself a date yet.
Grillby stood behind the counter, making an audible crackling fire noise as he polished a few glasses.
"Grillbz said he'd get you a glass of water, but he doesn't touch the stuff." The red bird lady to the left of me spoke.
"Really? Wasn't aware he said anything" I replied.
Grillby let out an audible groan. "Margaret, will you please quit trying to 'translate' for me whenever I get a new customer?" Grillby complained, his voice sounding like a man with a southern drawl speaking through an electric desk fan.
"Sorry, I just think it's funny, that's all." The red bird woman replied.
"I getcha, but I'm afraid it's hurting business. Just cut it out will ya?"
"Alright, sure thing Grillbz."
Grillby turned his attention to me. "Don't worry about that. Hell, if you want a glass of water, I'll getcha a glass of water."
"I appreciate the offer, but I'm actually lookin' for some grub." I replied.
"Ah, hungry I see. Well you've come to the right place, friend. Do you know what you're gettin', or do ya need a menu?"
"Hmm... Got any specials?"
"Well, got a hamburger and french fries for my special today, served with a drink of your choice. Only 25G."
"Is it good?"
He gave a hearty laugh after I said that. "Of course it's good, I make it after all. It's a town favorite, especially with most of our returning customers. That enough to answer your question?"
"Yes sir. I'll have that then, with a sweet tea if you have it."
"Perfect. I'll have that out for you in a jiffy." He placed one of the glasses he was cleaning in front of me and filled it with iced tea, then went back to the kitchen to either put the order in, or cook it himself.
I sat back and waited, taking a sip of my drink while listening to some of the other patrons conversate. I took another look back at the guard dogs, still surprised that not a single one of them recognized me.
"Yeah, they're part of the royal guard." The red bird lady said. "They all answer to Undyne."
"Hmm... You don't say. What's this Undyne even like?" I asked, having heard that name more times today than I'd like to admit.
"Oh, she's rude, loud, and beats people up even when they simply just get in her way." She laughed a little. "It's no wonder why all the kids want to be like her when they grow up."
"Hm... Interesting."
Least I know slightly more about this Undyne.
I started paying attention to the two male bird monsters on my right. One of which looked like a bluejay, while his buddy looked like a seagull. Both of them wore some sort of uniform with a patch that read 'Lightning Fast TV Repair' and were deep in a conversation which I found out was about a film they'd apparently just got back from.
"...So Mike, would you recommend Mett Ton 3: Goldflower?" The bluejay asked his pal.
"I don't know Jay. I think I'll go with a 'yes', but not a very strong yes. It was fairly enjoyable to watch and was shot pretty decently, especially considering the fact they were making it on a smaller budget than the last two. But there were a few elements that just didn't really work for me, such as the story not making a lot of sense, the main villain looking more like something you'd see in a saturday morning cartoon, and the director putting more importance into the action scenes than the story itself. Plus I think they went a bit too overboard with the quippy dialogue and comedic elements, which they had a better restraint with in the last two."
"Well I thought it was pretty good. I think the studio and the director, who's a notorious yes man, is starting to realize that the majority of their audience likes these movies more as fun, action spy movies that the whole family can enjoy versus anything that's super serious and dramatic. I think they're just trying to be more accommodating to general audiences rather than hardcore spy movie fans."
"Yeeeah, you might be right, but they do run the risk of alienating some of the people who simply liked the originals better rather than just the hardcore spy fans. You know, this reminds me of an episode of Space Excursion..."
"Hey, pardon me fellers." I said, butting in on their conversation. "What are y'all talking about?"
"Oh, we're just talking about that new Mettaton spy movie, even though what we should be doing is fixing some old guy's television." the seagull said.
"Wait, what?"
"That's right, Mike. You see, we've been fixing this old curmudgeon's TV for the past ten years." His pal chimed in.
"Ten years?" I exclaimed, dumbfounded. "How the hell has it taken you an entire decade to fix something like that?
"That's the beauty of it." Mike said. "This old geezer is so senile, he doesn't even realize we aren't making progress on his TV, or that it's even been taking this long to fix it. This whole time we've just sat in his house, drinking beer and talking about movies while we keep getting paid from his royal pension, and his retirement. All while he goes out and digs for shiny rocks or whatever the hell he does in his spare time."
"I don't know. Doesn't it seem wrong to rob an old feller blind like this?" I responded, which sent the seagull into a fit of lightly-intoxicated laughter/squawking.
"Forgive him, he has a bad habit of laughing at the elderly. But yeah, sure it's a shitty thing to do but hey, when you get a golden opportunity like that, you take it. To be able have a constant cash flow while you just sit on your ass and talk about movies is nothing but a dream for most, and meanwhile we're living the fucking dream! Isn't that right Mike?
"That's right, Jay!" The two hack frauds busted out laughing, and I let them get back to their motion picture discussion as I took another sip of my iced tea.
"Psst, hey buddy. Over here." I heard from one of the tables behind me.
Great, what is it n- I thought, before it was cut short by the sight of everybody at the guard dog's table staring at me.
Oh, fuuuuuck.
"Come over here, we wanna talk to you." said the slender one with the weird sense of fashion.
These guys might've been easy to deal with individually, but I had a snowball's chance in hell of being able to fight all five of them at once.
I did my best to look calm and casual, as I strolled over to their table while holding my drink.
"Heya partner, whaddya need?" I asked, trying to keep all traces of nervousness out of my voice.
"That big guy over there told us that you pet him and played fetch with him out in the forest." Doggo said, a slight grin on his face.
"Yeah, guilty as charged." I answered nonchalantly.
"Well, since you were nice to him and made him happy, he wants you you sit with us. Think of it as a reward for your kindness."
I obliged, and walked to the other side of the table, taking the only empty seat.
Well that's a relief. Least none of them recognized me.
"Say, mister." Dogaressa said. "I don't know why, but you look..."
"...and smell, Familiar." her husband chimed in.
Looks like I spoke too soon.
"Yeah, you kinda do. Haven't we seen you around before?" Doggo said, shifting in his seat.
"Woof!" barked Greater Dog, who just looked happy to see me.
"No? I don't think so, except for the big guy over there." I responded, trying my best to sound as cool as a cucumber.
"Sorry, probably mistook you for someone else."
Huh. That was easy.
"Yeah, say, what kind of monster are you anyways?" Dogamy asked.
"I'm actually a sasquatch, but I have a genetic disease that caused most of my hair to fall off when I was very young." What I said was obvious bullshit, but I hoped it would work.
Surprisingly it did, as my fib elicited a look of pity from everybody in the group.
"Oh. Sorry about that pal." Doggo said.
"Yeah, that's ruff." ("Very ruff") The Dogi added.
Greater Dog just let out a sad whine.
"But anyways, we were askin' you because the three of us got attacked by something in the woods earlier, and whatever it was had a similar stature to you." Doggo explained, pointing to the husband & wife duo.
"We think it might've been a human." Dogamy said.
"A human? Down here? You can't be serious." I replied disbelievingly.
"Oh, we're dead serious." Dogaressa chimed in. "At least we think. None of us are really sure what a human even looks like..."
"Or smells like..." Her husband added.
The three of them began to recount their encounters as Grillby exited the kitchen, carrying what I figured was my hamburger and french fries.
"Well, well. Your first time here, and you're already sitting with the royal guard." He observed as he delivered my meal. "You enjoy that, now. Ain't gonna find a better burger anywhere else down here."
I thanked him and began to chow down, taking in my surroundings. The hamburger was delicious, a bit greasy, but the taste was fantastic. The fries were nice and crispy too, just the way I like them.
The guard dogs continued their conversation, shifting away from the alleged human encounter to more mundane, everyday topics.
The whole restaurant had a very calm atmosphere, with soft murmurs coming from various conversations, the sound of crackling fire from the eponymous owner, and the muted but noticeable sound of the phonograph machine, playing some style of orchestral music I'd never heard before.
I paid attention to the guard dog's conversation, occasionally joining in as I continued to savor the food. By then it was just the husband and wife duo bitching about being sentries.
"You see, We're the first line of defense against any outside threat that could potentially come from the old ruins, but do we get any respect? Noooo."
I looked at Lesser Dog who was sitting at a separate table, and appeared to be playing poker with himself. Upon further inspection, I realized that he was somehow losing, and pretty badly too.
The conversation shifted into clothing, where I ended up inquiring about Doggo's 'peculiar' fashion sense.
"So here's the thing. All the other members of the guard wear the standard suit of armor. But those two and I? We don't like it all that much." He answered.
"It's heavy, bulky, hard to fight in, and you can't even wear it in Hotland without covering it in cooling dirt, unless you wanna overheat." Dogaressa explained. "And putting that stuff on and cleaning it off afterwards is a chore in of itself"
"The other reason is cuz you can't even stand out." Dogamy added as he pointed to a mounted picture on the wall, a group photo of the royal guards and their captain, all decked out in the same heavy medieval armor Greater Dog was wearing. "Take a look at that picture. Can you tell any of those guys apart?"
It didn't take a closer look to realize that outside of a few minor differences, such as the captain's armor having a unique design, you really couldn't tell any of them apart. "No. I'm afraid I really can't.
"Exactly!" Exclaimed Doggo. "Now look at us, you can actually tell who we are. You could be walking through the forest, see one of us and be like 'oh hey, there's doggo, looking stylish as always!' or 'whoa it's the Dogi, I sure hope nobody pisses them off!'"
"Yeah, yeah." I responded, letting out a slight snicker. "I see whatcha mean. What kinda theme are you all going for anyways?"
Dogamy answered first. "Well, we went for something intimidating, something that'll strike fear into the hearts of our enemies."
"That's why we chose the image of the grim reaper himself, to base our looks on." His wife elaborated. "Imagine how terrifying the sight of two spitting images of death itself charging at you would be."
Believe me, I don't have to imagine. I thought, remembering how my first encounter with them was like.
"Plus it's a testament to our marriage and just how much we love each other, ain't that right sweetie? (Aw, shuddup you!)"
They lovingly nuzzled each other before Dogaressa elaborated.
"It's why we decorated our suits and axes like this." She pointed to the aforementioned decorations. "It shows that we're stronger together, as two, (than alone, as one.)"
I gave a light chuckle in response to that. "Why, that's very poetic of you."
Doggo lit up a dog treat and appeared to smoke it. "Meanwhile, I chose this look because I wanted something that was 'me', y'know? A style that would tell someone exactly what I was all about before we even got the chance to speak."
"Really? I guess that makes sense." I replied.
"Hell, I still have yet to perfect it. I'm actually thinking about getting a spiked collar to show off my tough side, it'll make a statement like 'put a leash on me and take me for a walk please'.
"Hey pal, I don't need to know what you do on Friday nights." I said with a sly grin on my face.
This caused the others to burst out laughing, and Doggo to realize just what I'd hinted at.
"What the? Aw, you son of a-" He yelled out before playfully punching me in the arm. All four of us were laughing at this point.
"Yeah, I guess I walked right into that one, didn't I?" He said, still chuckling.
"More like, got walked into it." Dogaressa replied while cracking up. This sent all four of us into complete hysteria, even causing some of the other patrons to bust out into laughter as well.
Dog jokes, they never fail.
After the laughter subsided I finished the rest of my meal, leaving not a speck on the plate. As much as I wanted to stay and continue chatting with the guard dogs, I knew I'd spent more than enough time boondoggling around and needed to go check on the kid.
I wrapped up my part of the conversation and bid some friendly farewells to them. I paid for my meal, getting a friendly "You come back now, ya hear?" from Grillby. After washing my hands, I put my coat and hat back on and stepped outside back into the cold, snowy air.
I was in high spirits during my trek back to casa de la bonehead. I'd always enjoyed friendly conversations like that, and due to me having few friends back on the surface and generally being busy with running the ranch by myself, I rarely had the opportunity to do things like that.
I made my way to the house, entered through the door, and went up to Papyrus's room. As I got there I paused before opening the door, hearing them in the middle of a conversation about who knows what.
"...AND HEY, MAYBE SOMEDAY YOU'LL FIND SOMEONE JUST AS GREAT AS ME." I heard Papyrus say. "Wait no, that's not possible... BUT I'LL HELP YOU SETTLE FOR SECOND BEST!"
I opened the door and stepped inside, seeing Papyrus wearing some strange getup that looked like an athlete's outfit with 'cool dude' written on the shirt. What made it stranger was the fact that he had a plate of spaghetti sitting on his head, and a backwards baseball cap which appeared to be floating over it.
"Howdy howdy, I'm back."
"HI LANCEY! ARE YOU FINISHED WITH THOSE ERRANDS?" Paps asked.
"Yeah, I'm all done."
"SPLENDID! WELL, I'D LOVE TO CHAT BUT I'M AFRAID I HAVE TO GO NOW. iF ANY OF YOU EVER NEED TO REACH ME FOR ANY REASON, HERE'S MY PHONE NUMBER." He gave the kid a little slip of paper with his number presumably written on it.
"SEE YOU LATER, NYEH HEH HEH!" He spoke, bolting out the house.
"Huh... So, how was your little social call?" I asked.
"It was... interesting. But fun! I think... Papyrus is an 'interesting' skeleton."
"Hmph, you said it."
I looked around Pap's room, observing the interesting decor that looked like something more oriented for a kid.
Wait, was he a kid? He was about as tall as I was, and spoke very eloquently, yet also had a room that looked very juvenile, wore a halloween costume everywhere, and had the sort of lofty goals and aspirations that only a young child would have. Hell, he even acted more childish than Frisk did.
But I ended up just dropping the question entirely and going back outside, the kid in tow.
It's probably best I don't find out anyways.
"So, ready to head to the exit?" I asked the kid.
"I-" She let out a long yawn. "I don't know. I'm kinda sleepy actually."
I could tell that she was pretty tired and I couldn't really blame her. In one day, we'd had two big fights, said goodbye to the kindly goat woman who took us in, and hiked across the entirety of Snowdin.
"It's alright kid. Tell you the truth, I'm a bit tuckered out myself. Maybe it's time we oughta check out that inn."
The Snowed Inn turned out to be a pretty nice place.
The woman who ran it referred to it as a hotel, which I thought was a bit fanciful for something that wasn't much more than a lobby and six rooms upstairs, but hey who the hell am I to judge?
The room we rented was 80G, which I guessed was a good price, as I still hadn't exactly figured out how the whole pricing system down here worked yet.
I paid the fee and got our room key, it being the last door on the right.
The room itself was small but cozy, consisting of a couple of beds on either side of the room, a wardrobe, and a small washroom.
There was even a cute little heart patterned rug behind the door, and a radiator in-between the beds which kept everything nice and toasty.
As soon as we walked in the kid removed her coat, kicked her shoes off, climbed into the bed on the right, and was out like a light in a few seconds.
"Night kid, sleep well." I said softly, making sure she was tucked in and comfy, before heading to the washroom for a well-deserved hot shower.
After washing up and donning a fresh set of clothes I had with me, I sat at the little writing desk in the corner and wrote down some of the day's events and general thoughts about everything in the journal that had been twice passed down.
After a while of that, I'd started getting pretty doggone tired myself. So I closed the journal, turned off the lights, climbed into the other bed, and almost as quickly as the kid, I fell into a deep and peaceful slumber.
A/N: And that was the very belated Chapter 5.
I just wanna take a moment and thank all my readers again, whether you're a longtime reader who's been keeping up with this since I posted the first chapter, or if you've just found out about it yesterday. I really do appreciate the feedback and follows I get, as it lets me know that people actually enjoy reading this thing.
Until next chapter, see ya.