"Good grief, why must I suffer this embarrassment?"

Archer was standing by the door of his master's room. She was yet again sloppy and so uncouth when it came to sleeping. Who in their right mind would wear nothing but a shirt and panties as they slept knowing there is a full grown man just there resting in the room next to her? He'd have to give her another lecture about it.

"To think I would be put into a situation like this. This is not what I signed up for." Archer said as he walked towards his master's closet and picked out a comfy looking pair of blue jogging pants.

"Oi, Master. Wake up and wear this." Archer said as he nudged his master awake. Who in turn simply groaned and turned away from his hand. Falling back to sleep in the process.

"I'm thinking of throwing away that junk in the shed, Master. So if you don't wake up, you'll see a very clean and empty-"

"You wouldn't!" Shot up his master from the futon. Not even bothering to cover up her midsection from the abruptness of her waking up. A detail the red bowman couldn't help but embarrassingly notice.

"Ah, you're awake now. Here, wear this." Archer said as he threw the jogging pants towards his master's direction. A brief smile of victory plastering itself on his face in the process.

"Wh-what?" his master stuttered as she didn't understand what it was for.

"You have school today, Master. And if I recall, young girls like you shouldn't go around commando style when there is someone like me living in the same house as you. Just a little tip before you go around dating your future boyfriends. Also, after school, that Tohsaka friend of yours wants to meet in the mall. If you don't hurry, she might get mad at you for being late." Archer coyly said as he rose up and left the room.

"Huh-?! B-but, I'm wearing panties!" He heard his master cry out.

"Haaahh… good grief. Why did I have to have a master like this?" Archer sighed.

—-

No, seriously. Why did Archer have to suffer this fate?

When he felt the pull of a summoning whilst being in the Throne of Heroes, he expected it to be like the first time. Falling into a living room and meeting Tohsaka Rin and all that jazz. But nope. Whatever damn thing that had to go wrong for things to go this way went wrong.

The sight of a Female Emiya Shirou sitting in the middle of the shed being the first thing Archer saw was the indefinite proof of that. Not to mention the second thing he's laid his eyes on.

"Sir Archer. Are you alright?"

Said second thing was sitting beside him on a bench in a lively mall. Both were staying put whilst their masters went about their "girl time". Which was basically Rin dragging Shirou around like a ragdoll. He wasn't happy with the idea of being kept idle, but this is Rin Tohsaka we're talking about. He isn't going to let that red clad demoness drag the feminised version of himself into unexpected danger due to her poor luck.

"It would be best if we went along with them." Archer muttered to his seatmate.

"Let them have their moment, Sir Archer. They are young, like we once were. Surely, you understand the value of this event to them." his seatmate said.

"Frankly, I do not. I never had much of a childhood to know." Archer cooly replied as glanced to his right to get a better view of the woman beside him.

"Then I urge you to be patient. Who knows, this event might blossom a long lasting trust between our masters." the woman said as she unwrapped her 4th burger.

"Hm… I didn't know you would grow to become this wise." Archer whispered as he turned towards Rin and Shirou who were leaving the cosmetics store only for the former to drag the latter to a clothing store the moment they stepped out of the place.

"Pardon?" the woman asked as she grabbed her fries from her plastic bag. She tilted her head as she looked at Archer in confusion as she didn't understand what the bowman meant.

"I-it's nothing." Archer tried to deflect but failed.

"You speak as if you know me. And if our fight when we first met had anything to say, it appears that you know how I fight as well." the woman pressed on. It wasn't everyday that someone like the mysterious Archer beside her managed to not only fend her off but also beat her in close quarters combat. And to be honest, that fight merely increased her interest in the bowman rather than bruise her ego.

"Surely you jest, Lancer. I do not have any memories of you; nor any memories of my past. I might be a loyal servant of yours once. Maybe an enemy you've defeated. Or, God forbid, a past lover that you've had. Whatever our relationship may be, I do not know. All I know is: I'm clearly better than you that night." Archer smugly said. He smirked when a small twitch appeared in Lancer's eyebrow as he spoke. She knew he was fucking with her. However, she didn't know where to start rebutting what Archer said.

"Lovers? Is that truly what you think?" Lancer asked inquisitively. Everything she heard was something to be peeved about. But this was the first thing in her mind she wanted to ask.

"Like I said, who knows?" Archer shrugged, "Maybe we had met once upon a time and fell in love and just forgot."

"...Your humour is something that needs improvement, Sir Archer." Lancer said as she drank her soda.

"Right…" Archer drawled out as his eyes went towards his master once more. To be fair, most of what the bowmen said to Lancer was indeed not a lie. He swore to be her sheathe long ago, ergo loyal servant. He fell in love with her and they became lovers, that is true. He also became her enemy before ally in this Grail War. That is also true. She also doesn't know about any of this. So, the part where he said that she didn't remember is also true.

It's just that explaining how he knew her is so complicated that even the truth sounds like a lie.

Suddenly, a flyerboy approached Lancer. He looked young. A High School teenager, Archer thinks. He noticed that the boy didn't bother looking at him as he passed the bowman on his way to Lancer. Even though it's literally the flyerboy's job to give him a flyer. Rude, Archer thought. What if he wanted to know what the boy was selling? Now he wouldn't know. The boy just lost a future customer right there.

"Hey there, pretty lady. Would you be so kind to consider going to the concert today? It's the biggest event in town. A beautiful woman like you might be interested in something like this, don't ya think?" the highschool boy said with a youthful smile that swooned the passerby girls who saw it.

Lancer meanwhile, was nonplussed as she offered her hand towards the boy so that she could get the flyer. A few seconds of scanning the flyer later, Lancer looked towards Archer and leaned towards his arm so that she could show the paper better. Causing a flare of envy to burst inside the flyerboy as Lancer's… uh… personality bumped the bowman's arm.

"A concert… What do you think, Archer?" Lancer said. She dropped the 'Sir' because it would be weird if the boy heard her say that. She thought.

"Hmm…" Archer hummed as he took the paper from Lancer's hand. He regretted that he didn't use his right arm because he may or may not have bumped into Lancer in an area he did not want to think about at that moment. But he pushed those thoughts down as he read the paper's contents.

'RISING STAR: MIGHTY MO DEBUTING IN FUYUKI AS PART OF HER WORLD TOUR. BROUGHT TO YOU BY HIGHLY ACCLAIMED PRODUCER, RAPPER ALI G with OSCAR WINNER and HEAD OF INDA'HOUSE PRODUCTIONS RICKY C'

"A new singer in town? That's new." Archer said to Lancer. In reality though, he meant that this concert thing never happened before during his time as Emiya Shirou. (well, the male Shirou that is."

"It is." the flyerboy said. Drawing the two servants's attention towards himself once more. "Ali G is a phenomenal rapper who helps the world wherever he goes. His close friend Ricky C is the greatest actor I know. When he played that guy who always follows Sherlock Holmes around, I was instantly hooked. I can't wait to see both of them later today."

"What about the singer? Do you have anything to say about her?" Lancer asked. A question Archer couldn't help but want to know as well. Since this is literally unknown territory for him.

"I… all I know is her music touches the soul. She could do any genre. Rap, blues, pop, punk rock, metal. You name it. No one knows her actual name though. All she goes by is Mighty Mo or simply 'Big M' according to Ricky. But the point is, she's worth listening to and giving a shot at. Her list of songs - the ones she'll perform at least - is at the back if you want to know more." flyerboy said as he gave another one to Archer so that they wouldn't have to lean towards each other to see the paper. He knows they're probably dating each other, but she doesn't care. Fuck that guy - Archer, was it? - for landing a smoking hot woman like her.

Archer meanwhile, looked at the paper he was handed and turned it around to see the back side. It had a list of songs underneath a picture of a gaudy looking man with an ugly yellow tracksuit as a getup doing preposterous 'gang signs' that belonged to no gang, a hillbilly looking character holding an Oscar trophy like its a microphone. The two men were flanking a short girl whose face was shaded so that her identity is hidden from the general populace up until the time she shows up on stage. But it didn't cover much. Archer noticed the girl had blond hair, was wearing a red jacket on top of a loose sleeveless shirt and red jersey pants.

Archer couldn't help but notice that they were Englishmen. Not because of the glaring Union Jack proudly embellished on the shirt of the girl. Rather, the first thing he thought of when he saw them was that they looked like total bellends.

"Quite the song titles, don't you think so?" Lancer said as she pursed her lips at the rather unique names. Archer looked towards the list and found himself appalled. Who allowed these song titles to exist?

King of Glory

Son of Destiny

Rejected

Hate him

Kill, Rebel, Kill

Hill of death

F*** my dad

Backstabber, Front Stabber

Tore the Kingdom Down

Ali G, Ricky C, Mighty Mo, and the Da West Staines Massiv medley

(There are like, 8 more songs left but they all part of the Ali G Movie, so just look them up)

"Wonderful, am I right? I liked Rejected most out of all of the songs. It's about how the singer wanted to be accepted by his dad but didn't get the love if you know what I'm saying." The flyerboy said as he sighed wistfully as the song played in his head.

"Where is this concert starting? And when?" Archer asked. Lancer perked up as she looked towards the bowman. What is he doing?

"Around Riverside park. 4 pm in the afternoon to 7 in the evening." flyerboy said. He looked towards his side and saw 2 girls his age carrying shopping bags walking towards them. Sweet, he thought. Two more hotties on sight. He was about to speak when the brunette shouted at them.

"Archer! Be a man and help us, would you? These things aren't light, you know." Rin said as she yanked her arms upward in emphasis.

"It's your fault you bought so much. Why did you, anyway?" Archer chided as he rose from his seat to grab both Rin's bags as well as Shirou's bags.

"Tohsaka got a bit carried away when I told her I don't wear a lot of dresses." Shirou sheepishly replied as she scratched the side of her head.

"That is true, yes. You also have a nasty habit habit of barely wearing anything at al-" Archer said but was quickly covered up by Rin and Shirou.

"Ah! Why are you saying things like that out here!" Rin asked. Her cheeks flaring in embarrassment.

"A-and that's not true at all, Archer. It's just that it was hot last nig-" Shirou said but was stopped by Rin cupping her mouth with a hand.

"You too! Stop sharing unnecessary things." Rin said in a panicked expression.

"Um… So, hi ladies. I was talking to your friends over here to see if you're interested in a concert happening later this afternoon-" the flyerboy slowly spoke before Rin rushed towards him and said

"Oh hi, sorry I didn't see you there. You said concert? Oh, I'm interested. Just give me this and get the heck away!" Rin's voice started sweet at first, and then it gradually became intense as she snatched a flyer from the boy's hand and shoved him away from their sight.

"That was rude, Rin." Archer scolded.

"Whatever, he was wasting our time." Rin said as she straightened out the paper in her hand.

"Ali G…Ricky C… Mighty Mo… what kind of names are these?" Rin asked incredulously.

—-

'Next Chapter Preview'

"They are English nicknames, Master. And please do not call that boy a waste of time. For I believe he has given us a most tremendous opportunity." Lancer said as she rose up from her seat.

"Oh? What makes you say that, Lancer?" Archer asked intrigue.

Lancer briefly smiled in his direction and looked towards the young girls in the group and said.

"I believe that a servant will appear in that concert. And if my instinct is correct, then that would mean we would have the chance of eliminating that servant before they could become strong enough to be warranted as a threat." Lancer explained.

"Really? Then why if that's true, then why are we heading towards where they are? Wouldn't we be drawn into a battle we can't exactly say we're prepared for?" Rin asked.

"Because if my instinct remains true, then our enemy will not, and cannot fight against us."

"Is that your version of saying you have a clue about the identity of our enemy, Lancer? You really need to speak simpler, or otherwise no one will understand you." Archer jokes. But in reality, he's had a sneaking suspicion ever since he read the song titles. For if you combined each of them into one coherent sentence, you would get a story that eerily connects with a certain character from a tale long ago.

"To be brief, yes. I might have figured out the identity of the servant we are about to face." Lancer said as she frowned at Archer's odd sense of humour.

"Then who is it?" Shriou asked. She didn't know much about what they were talking about. But even the redhead was curious who this mystery person might be.

Lancer looked at them with tired eyes. To Archer, it looked like she aged 30 years more as he gazed upon her sad, broken and desolate eyes. However dismaying the sight was, it helped the bowman find the missing piece in the puzzle at the back of his mind. The puzzle that was the enemy's identity.

"The servant…" Lancer said slowly.

"...is my son."