Rude Ruby
"Come on, FuckShitUp, you can do this!"
Smashing her thumbs against the screen of her Scroll calculatively, Ruby paused for a bit, only to growl as she rolled her eyes. "Well, someone's not living up to their name," she grumbled, tossing the Scroll aside.
Whoever said Pocket Grimm had a decent meta was clearly out of their minds.
Also, why the fuck were people making games out of the very enemy of humanity? As soon as she started wondering what a fandom for such a game would be like, however, she paled and instead thought about strangling Cardin.
That sounded more interesting than... whatever the hell a fandom for Grimm would be.
None of team RWBY aside from Ruby was present in the dorm at the moment. Everything was just the way she wanted it to be. Yang wasn't around whining about her "baby girl" or whatever the hell she always talked about, Weiss wasn't being a disease, and Blake wasn't around to swing around her horniness. Blake's very presence terrified Ruby in a unique way- it was almost as if anyone who liked her wanted to fuck her.
She wanted to bet five Lien that she wasn't half-wrong.
As her eyes threatened to close and bring her to a dream full of lovely booze, however, she heard the door open ever so slightly. She groaned as she lazily brought herself up to see whoever had just entered the dorm-
Though, Ruby was fairly certain she didn't do anything to see an absolutely infuriated Nora. Not recently, at least.
"RUBY. ROSE."
Ruby rolled her eyes, pure annoyance creeping into her tired face. "Have you ever heard yourself talk before? It's as absurd as the White Fang having an interracial orgy with humans."
Leaping up to the bed, Nora gripped the collar of Ruby's uniform as she lifted her up over her own head. Roaring, the ginger-haired girl harshly threw the rose down against the center of the room.
Grabbing her collar again, Nora lifted Ruby as she screeched at her, "WHAT DID YOU DO?!"
Blinking with no amusement in her eyes, Ruby asked, "Come again?"
"What on Remnant have you done to Renny?!" Nora shouted, absolutely hellbent on making sure the question did not go ignored. "And it BETTER not be what I think you did!"
It was then Ruby remembered that Team RWBY wasn't the only dysfunctional team she had to worry about. There also happened to be the dreaded JNPR, led by Jaune Arc of all people in the whole damn academy of talented and (apparently) amazing students. Whenever she stopped worrying about her own team, JNPR always covered her back by throwing a fucking curveball at her barebones life story.
"You always throw a fucking curveball at my life story," Ruby growled, repeating her thoughts out loud as she hung her head to the side to instead stare at a wall. "But seriously though, what the fuck are you talking about?"
"Y-You don't-" Nora stuttered as she let go of the confused drunk midget. "Can't you at least try remembering, Ruby?!"
"I'm so sorry, Nora," Ruby whispered sympathetically. "I literally can't give a shit."
Screaming in uncharacteristic rage, Nora stomped out of the room, almost shoving a terrified Jaune Arc aside-
"Oh, what the FUCK, Jaune!" Ruby roared, making him jump at her sheer anger. "How are you always fucking around my dorm?!"
Jaune raised a finger to follow up with a solid explanation, only to realize this was Ruby he spoke to. Putting up a thoughtful look, he pondered for a better answer before he nodded to himself.
"To be fair," he pointed out calmly, "our dorms are right next to each other. Also, my entire team has some kind of problem revolving around you. I came here to talk about that."
"..."
Staring at the noodle in front of her dorm, Ruby took a moment to make him uncomfortable by doing nothing. When he made it clear he wasn't going to leave, however, she sighed as she pointed at one of the bunk beds.
He nodded quickly as he sat on one of them.
"I wasn't asking you to SIT on it," she growled, "I was telling you to tidy it up. Ice Queer didn't even clean it up on her way out."
"Oh, uh. Okay?"
Getting up, Jaune tidied the bed and proceeded to sit on it. While Ruby seemed to have a problem with him just planting himself into the room on one of the beds, she stopped caring as quickly as she realized it would take more effort to get him out forcefully than on his own accord.
She couldn't tidy anything up for shit, anyway.
Sitting on Weiss' bed without fixing the blankets up, Ruby raised an eyebrow as she stared at Jaune with her arms crossed. "So what's everyone bitching about now?"
Jaune cleared his throat.
"Alright," he began nervously. "So, I honestly don't know why Pyrrha seems obsessed with watching you, but I can explain about Nora's behavior."
"Holy shit, you can explain something about Nora? Jaune, you'd be making shittons of Lien if you became a criminal psychologist instead-"
"She's mad because you, uh... 'rode Ren,' apparently."
"..."
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...
"I- what?"
Making it clear he wasn't making anything up, Jaune quickly added, "No, I'm not saying you actually went that far. It just..."
He sighed.
"Well, since you don't remember..."
"Ren, why the hell are you still with Nora, anyway?"
"...What?"
Sitting at the cafeteria, Ruby scooted up next to Ren, who happened to be one of the few remaining members of the usual group consisted of RWBY and JNPR. Only Ruby, Jaune, Ren and Blake sat at the table, with Blake constantly glaring at Ruby as if she were some kind of monster that could explode at any minute.
Technically, the Faunus wasn't wrong, but nobody dared to support her idea in front of said monster.
"Is it the boobs?"
Ren almost choked on the pancake he was eating as he coughed violently. Looking up at Ruby incredulously, he blinked at her odd question. She stood adamantly by her question.
"Do you want to ram them with your-"
"Ruby, no. She's my friend. That's all."
Raising an eyebrow, Ruby glared at Ren as she crossed her arms. "No offense, but she pounces the shit out of you all the time."
"I'm used to it," Ren responded flatly.
Putting up a look as thoughtful as a drunk and deranged Ruby could come up with, the girl turned to Ren with a curious look.
Suddenly, Ruby pounced the dark-haired boy. Jaune almost spit out his food as he immediately stood up. Blake's eyes widened, though for once, she didn't look absolutely pissed at Ruby.
Instead, she looked somewhat curious, if her tiny blush indicated at anything.
"What the-!" Jaune began before looking around fervently, noticing some of the heads turning their way. He ended up harshly whispering, "Ruby, what're you doing?!"
"Ruby! Why?!" Ren almost shouted with his cheeks heated up, aware of several pairs of eyes peering at what appeared to be an extremely suggestive position involving him and the leader of RWBY.
Sitting still, Ruby leaned forward as she pressed a finger against his nose. "Fucking LIAR!" She growled triumphantly. "Now I know why you don't say shit about her pouncing you. It's cause you WANT more of that shit, huh?!"
Ren covered his face with his hands as he shook his head. Ruby's wild grin didn't help one bit. "I'm right, aren't I?! Holy shit, I knew it! No wonder you're so docile about her 'almost' straddling you to-"
"WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK," screeched a familiar voice with a sentence extremely unbefitting of a Valkyrie.
The entire cafeteria fell silent as everyone turned to an absolutely horrified Nora Valkyrie staring at a certain rose and her childhood friend. Jaune shrunk underneath the table
"...Shit, I think that's my cue to leave. Blake, hand over my beer- I mean, water bottle!"
It didn't take long before Nora's weapon locker tore through the roof of the cafeteria. Again.
"..."
"..."
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...
"For the record," Ruby explained calmly, "I wasn't wrong in the end."
"Ruby, I'm pretty sure there was a better way of clarifying things to Nora than running out of the cafeteria as soon as you saw her."
"Shut. The Fuck. Up."
"Yes, ma'am."
A long sigh left Ruby. Well, that explained why the orange bitch looked so infuriated. Not only was she clingy, but she also didn't know how to chill the fuck out. Ruby could sympathize just a bit with the insane ginger, but only because she herself almost tore her hair out at the thought of her team withholding her from murdering Torchwick.
Why the fuck were all the orange-haired people she met so annoying?!
"It's like they actually don't have fucking souls or something," Ruby grumbled, rubbing her head as if a migraine threatened to overtake her at any moment. "Like Quarter. Or Nickle. Dime. Whatever the shit her name was."
"Ruby?"
Taking a deep breath, instead of answering Jaune, Ruby snatched a bottle of booze from the bunk bed above her as she took a quick swig out of it. Only when Jaune repeated himself for the third time did she finally mumble something.
"The fuck you want, Jaune?"
"I can't really say much, but..."
WIth a small, yet nervous smile, Jaune spoke, "If you need help with anything, just remember we can help you, alright?"
"Why the fuck would I need help from you?"
"...Good point, but that's not really my point."
"Do you need my help, Jaune?"
"No, sir- ma'am."
The girl glared at Jaune for a moment before turning away, groaning as she looked for more booze in the room.
Meanwhile, Ren sat at his bed in JNPR's dormitory, staring blankly into a void. He couldn't believe it. It was all because of a little red riding hood that caused him to lose his focus. For the first time in a while, he had a question that could not be answered through simple logic.
Why is my ding dong hard?
A few seconds later, Nora suddenly burst into the dormitory as if she heard the sound of his ultra hardening pants.
She ended up smashing his crotch with Magnhild and had him wind up in the infirmary, though that did nothing to make him feel any better.