Rude Ruby

Thunk.

Ruby raised an eyebrow as Weiss slammed her two pale hands against the table she sat at. A newspaper lay before the two of them. Glaring into her very soul, the heiress screeched, reading out the headline,

"TWENTY-EIGHT STAB WOUNDS."

A single sigh left Ruby as she rolled her eyes. Infuriated, Weiss tossed her hands up in the air as she almost tore at her own hair. "You didn't wanna leave him a chance, huh?!"

"Are you fucking high?"

"Did you feel anger? Hate?! He was bleeding, begging you for mercy, but you stabbed him- again, and again and again!"

"Weiss, I think we get paid to kill shit in general."

"I know you killed him. Why don't you say it?"

Taking a drink from a bottle of booze she smuggled yet again, Ruby ignored Weiss, taking out her Scroll. Still pissed off beyond belief, Weiss slammed her hands against the table again. "Just say 'I killed him.' Is it that hard to say?!"

As Weiss picked Ruby up by her collar and started shaking her like a ragdoll, Blake watched in amusement at the heiress' unbridled rage. It was just yesterday when she felt chipper enough to ask them all if they wanted to hang out at a café.

Turns out, running into some White Fang members robbing a bank while doing so wasn't a great way to start off the week, let alone having Ruby among them as it happened.

"Gee, you two should chill out," Yang muttered as she played some kind of console game by the television. She herself didn't play games much, but if Blake remembered one thing, it was that having two people scream loudly as you tried to relax wasn't exactly relaxing.

Then again, her parents combined would pale in comparison to just how loud Weiss' screaming was.

"Ruby, we can do this easy way," Weiss seethed as she cracked her knuckles, "Or the really, REALLY hard way!"

Ruby whistled sarcastically as she headed over out the door, bringing a thermos to keep her company. "Kinky," she commented, "but I don't swing that way, Nice Schlong."

"N-Nice Schl- What the FUCK DID YOU JUST CALL ME-"

Seeing that Weiss was about to commit a terrorist act on her, Ruby left her dormitory, feeling pretty good about the alcohol in her hands. It was a whiskey imported from the shores of Vacuo, and while Vacuo wasn't really known for great alcohol usually, this one was definitely one of the slices of the "good shit" cake.

Opening her thermos, she was about to drink it when…

"Ruby?"

Her good moment already ruined, she lowered the thermos, finding herself staring at…

"…The fuck are you up to this time, Jaune?"

"That actually hurt my feelings."

Rolling her eyes, she drank from the thermos as she shut it, quickly popping some half-assed mint candy in her mouth. Not that it did anything to hide the insane smell of alcohol reeking around her body, but she pretended it did.

Jaune, on the other hand, seemed preoccupied holding onto a bunch of boxes. The way his shoulders sagged like a loser told her that the bunch of boxes held a bunch of books for a bunch of reasons she didn't want to know about.

"Seriously, though, what the fuck is this about, Jaune?"

"…Oh, this?" He smiled shakily as a corner of his mouth twitched. "Professor Oobleck said he needed help delivering some things to a Bullhead. Aaaand I happened to have nothing to do, so."

"That's a load of shit and even I know that, Jaune."

"…Yeah, actually, I'm just doing this for extra credit."

Still holding onto her thermos, Ruby walked over to Jaune, reaching out a hand. "Well, since you're weak as shit, I'll help."

"Wait, really?"

"Just looking at you is cranking my stress level. Also, you're buying me a cocktail by the end of the week for this."

"I'm pretty sure that's illegal-"

"Everything I'm doing is illegal, Jaune. Shut the fuck up and just give me a box."

"Yes, ma'am."

As Jaune lowered himself a bit, he managed to slide one of the boxes onto Ruby's hand.

What neither of them expected was the box of books to practically slam Ruby down onto the ground due to its weight.

The two of them remained silent, and slowly, but surely, time ticked on. No doubt were they both amazed at how useless Ruby could be without her weapon. It almost felt like a singularity, defying all laws of logic that only applied to her when she wasn't destroying something with Crescent Rose. Maybe understanding the singularity could defeat all the Grimm once and for all when comprehended properly-

"I know what you're thinking," Ruby interrupted Jaune's mental theorycrafting, "and I'm gonna fucking strangle you if you continue."

"Right."

…

…

…

"…Need help?"

"Jaune, I need help in more ways than one."

The blond boy nodded, muttering under his breath, "I'm kinda surprised you knew that."

As Ruby got up, Jaune glanced at the entrance of her dormitory. The familiar screeches of a Snow Angel reverberated from it, muffled only by the walls of the dorm. "What's Weiss mad about this time?" The blond asked, glancing back at Ruby.

"She thinks I killed some White Fang fidget dick in broad daylight."

"Uh. Did you?"

"I don't fucking know. Some animal fucko isn't really relevant to my life."

He figured he should keep quiet about the last part for Blake's- or really, any Faunus' sake- and instead began walking ahead. From his perspective, Ruby was generally the same Ruby he knew from when he first met her, so he didn't feel too bothered about her "unique" behavior. Maybe it was just him not meeting her enough, but the fact that she still helped him made him feel better.

"Hey Jaune," he heard her drawl from behind as she almost dragged her box of books, "I got a 100-sided dice just to guess when you're gonna get laid. I'm betting 80 or more."

Of course, being helpful was an entirely different matter from being likable.