Rude Ruby
Life wasn't all bad for Qrow. Except for the parts that were bad, which was consisted of almost his whole life and existence.
Sure, he might've lost Summer, and sure, he might've been on the worst terms ever with his own sister, but if anything, that made losing other things- people, really- have slightly less of an impact on him. Not that it felt any better, but he had grown to get used to prepare for the worst at all times.
Vale was, in simplistic terms, a lovely shithole. It was monotonous, and Huntsmen could easily call it "boring" for all they liked and get away with it. But for what it was worth, a life of comfort wasn't all that common in Remnant, and Vale did an exceptional job with providing that, at least. It was enough for some Faunus, a race discriminated for centuries, to try and seek out that kind of lifestyle. Things weren't always the best at Vale, with crimes skyrocketing at random moments, but the worst in Vale looked like pranks compared to the horrors committed outside of the main city's borders- whether or not they be committed by Grimm or people.
At least the bars here were relatively moderated. That meant he could focus less on keeping his eyes peeled and instead let said eyes trail up the creamy eyes of some waitresses who shot him flirtatious looks. Not that he tried anything more than a grin in return. Pushing for anything would probably trigger his Semblance for all he cared, and he had more important things to keep in mind of than spend all day trying to get into some complicated mingling.
Torchwick was arrested. Adam was arrested. In a span of less than a year, two well-known criminals that Ozpin wanted his inner circle to keep tabs on had been locked up- and willingly, too. That brought him to the main issue at hand.
The person who supposedly "caught" them.
His niece wasn't really a violent kid. If anything, Ruby was practically one of the only rays of optimism and hope that softened him. She'd grown strong without a motherly figure to look up to, yet a part of him mourned that she would miss out most of her childhood without one. Yang had it no better, really, but she would take it better than Ruby.
Some kids lost both of their parents, and he admitted that he couldn't give too much of a shit as he'd like for them. But seeing his niece feeling down reminded him of Summer at her brightest, and how perhaps she could do a better job than he could in cheering Ruby up. That wasn't a particularly pleasant feeling.
Still, Ozpin said that Ruby had been… "difficult" to handle lately. And as he happened to have a brief break in-between his missions lately, the headmaster believed Qrow should visit and check up on her. How bad could it be? It was Ruby, after all.
Maybe he needed to see that red ball of sunshine, just to remind himself that the world wasn't totally down the shitter just yet.
He quenched the burning sensation in his throat with a quick swig of his flask as he let out a sigh. As yet another Bullhead nearby departed for Beacon, he got up from the bench he sat at, looking at the direction of the cliffside that held Beacon.
"A bit of conversation with the little munchkins wouldn't hurt," Qrow muttered with a small grin.
Life wasn't all bad for Qrow. Except for the parts that were bad, which was consisted of almost his whole life and existence.
…Hm. Hadn't he thought of this earlier? Right, he needed to rectify something.
Life was all bad for Qrow.
The man had frozen mid-drink, his flask pressing against his bottom row of teeth as his eyes found Yang, a beloved niece, and also the one who told him they'd meet right outside the Beacon facilities, being dragged along by Ruby as she attempted to stop the redhead from jumping off the cliff that Beacon resided on. A white-haired girl- whom he believed to be a Schnee, if Yang's messages to him indicated anything- had a face unbefitting of a Schnee as she furiously apologized for something, with a dark-haired girl following her.
"Ruby! I really, REALLY hate that you even had it there, but I'm sorry for using your drinks as cooking oil!" Weiss cried out. "Listen to me, you dolt! I didn't mean it-"
"If you like cooking oil so much," Ruby screamed with a face that made an angry Raven look like a toddler, "maybe you should shove it in your asshole and BURN SOME FUCKIN' PANCAKES MADE OF YOUR SHIT IN IT!"
"Wh- HOW DARE YOU EVEN IMPLY SUCH A THING?!"
"Dammit, Weiss, calm down!" Blake grit her teeth as she caught the Schnee heiress, locking her elbows beneath Weiss' shoulders as she lifted the girl up from behind. "Goddammit, we just had some peace, don't start this outside the academy-"
"Our team leader just suggested me to cook with my own feces. HOW am I supposed to stay calm to that?!"
"I don't know!"
"C'mon, Rubes," Yang said with an extremely unconvincing tone, "we'll, uh… we'll do something about it. Promise! Eh? Ehhh? So if you could, like… not try jumping off the cliff for the third time-"
"I'll cut your hair like I almost chopped off Ren's dick."
At this, Yang paled immediately as she continued to stop Ruby. She then turned to Qrow, her eyes widening at his own as she tried to explain something.
But how?
How could this be explained?
Ruby, on the other hand, perked up at her uncle's presence as she froze for once. "Wait… Uncle… Qrow…?"
"T-That's right," Qrow said, trying to force a grin. "Missed me? Back after a hard day's worth of work, of course-"
Instead of leaping onto him, she instead snatched his flask, downed its contents in one shot, shoved it back on his belt before proceeding to barrel towards the cliffside yet again. At this point, however, Weiss and Blake had finally reached Ruby, managing to subdue her with Yang.
Ruby screeched, "If you're gonna start a fuckin' orgy, can we not do it with my fucking SISTER on my back?!"
"Why, why, WHY would you even say it like that?!" Yang cried, her face failing to show all of the mortifying effect from Ruby's sentence. Meanwhile, Weiss continued to scream something regarding redheads all being insane as she accidentally smashed Blake's nose with her elbow, causing the cat-eared Faunus to let out an uncharacteristically high-pitched scream that echoed across the entrance of Beacon Academy.
Qrow smiled warmly. Hm. So, Ruby was acting a bit different. I see, I see. Perhaps he just had to think of simpler solutions to calm himself down. It could just his Semblance working at full overdrive at the most inconvenient timing of all. Yes, indeed. As he mecha-shifted his sword, he began pondering if he should stop the girls or pull the trigger-
Before he could do anything further, Yang threw Ruby at Qrow like a bowling ball as they tumbled toward Beacon Academy like ragdolls. Recoiling in pain, Ruby screamed,
"Did you just throw me at Uncle Bird Qock of all people to throw at?!"
That day, Ruby let out a long string of profanity so horrifying that Qrow was hospitalized for three days. The reason remained unknown to Ozpin when he found Qrow muttering "Not like this" before he went unconscious.