The next two weeks went by blissfully for Harry. He was out of the house by 8 in the morning and returned only after dinner. His relatives, for the most part, left him alone, one they were glad to see the back of him, add to the fact that this meant they were currying favour with someone important (at least in their point of view, it always made a mean little smile appear on Harry's face when he fantasised about the day they would find out 'Violetta's' real identity), they positively felt like the heavens had opened up to them. Vernon had even commented that the Gods were paying them back for taking care of him and being the generous people they were.
And yet, yet, even when Harry's life had never been better, surrounded by people, by adults who loved him and cared about him, he couldn't feel happy.
He could not feel happiness. Or contentment, or peace or anything. All he felt was emptiness and apathy. What did it matter? All he kept doing was making extra work for everyone, Astrid had to do so much, Sirius was risking staying in a country hell-bent on persecuting him for a crime he hadn't committed, and Remus instead of searching for another job had been around Harry constantly, trying to help him. They seemed to be convinced that something was wrong with him, that he needed help. No matter how much he tried to convince them, they didn't believe him, that he was fine. He looked in the mirror as a smile crept onto his face. His eyes tracked the lacklustre sheen to his face and the forced edge to his lips. He closed his eyes as his hands fisted in frustration. He forced all his unnecessary thoughts down, one single statement running through his mind.
I am fine, I am fine, I. Am. Fine.
He smiled again as he forced his mind towards how much his life had drastically changed in just a few short days since meeting his godfather. Once he was reasonably sure that he would be fine to be around Sirius and the others, he quietly exited No.4 and cut through the garden to No.5, his hands ghosting over the dew-dropped leaves of the hedges, the cool drops of early morning mist grounding and calming him further. His days were spent engaging in duels with Sirius and Remus, studying his family history, and doing his homework. He had been slightly ashamed of his results when he realized that his parents, his godfather, and his honorary uncle had done exceptionally well in all of their exams. The resulting conversation left him determined to make many changes to his study patterns and his subjects.
Harry walked back into the living room after having spent a gruelling half-hour with Astrid learning politics. Astrid's point of view intrigued him, it seemed anytime he stated anything, she was determined to change it, or make him defend it to her satisfaction.
'I do not care what your beliefs are, what I do care is if they are your beliefs or rather beliefs that you believe should be yours.'
She stated that often when she saw him get frustrated with her repeated questions. After one such particularly prickly session he walked into the living room to see Sirius and Remus discussing something surrounded by pieces of parchment.
"Hey, what are you guys looking at?" He asked.
They smiled at him as Sirius gestured for him to join them. He settled on an armchair, his inquisitive gaze going back to the older men as his hands reached for the plate of fruits and cheese on the centre table. Topsy always made sure to leave little plates of snacks around them, lamenting that they were too thin and needed to eat more.
"Your grades, Moony was able to convince Minnie to give him a copy, to keep track of how you're doing." Sirius explained.
A scarlet blush settled onto his cheeks, his hand coming up to ruffle his hair as he averted his gaze. A deep sense of embarrassment opened up in him. "Ah...they're not really...they're not that great." Harry mumbled quietly, fidgeting in his seat.
"Are you kidding me? I'm surprised you were able to even keep up this much with all that's going on in your life." Sirius remarked surprised. Harry's grades were not something to brag about, but they weren't so cringe-worthily bad either. From what little he had been able to glean, every year of Harry's at Hogwarts had been as exciting and adventure-filled as last year. He could not imagine how Harry had been able to cope with the stress of his life in and out of school and still managed to pass with decent enough grades.
Harry looked dubiously at Sirius. He could not mean that. Harry had always been a terrible student, okay not always, he had been pretty good before, but he had had no motivation and had been punished when he had done well. And so he had just stopped.
"And you are an exceptional student when you do apply yourself, I mean you were by far my best student in DADA." Remus added seeing that Harry did not believe Sirius.
"I thought that was Hermione." Harry asked.
"Ms Granger is blessed with an eidetic memory that gets her near-perfect marks every time in theory, but her practice is lacking, and it is hard for her to grasp the practical, whereas you grasp the practical very easily but refuse to do the theory."
Harry felt equal parts pride at being called the best student and guilt at ignoring theory. In every subject, he knew that was his problem. He could get the practical part of it easily, sometimes instinctually even, but the theory never excited him, he had no interest in it so did the bare minimum in it.
"We don't blame you pup, you have clearly had much more important things on your mind, but, now that you don't have to worry about it, will you try more?" Sirius's reassuring tone pulled him out of his thoughts. He wondered why he had been able to get into practicals easily, but was unable to do the same with theory.
Harry nodded determinedly. No matter what had happened till now, he would try more from now on, and maybe, maybe he could ask for help? They had been helping him till now, so maybe they would be okay with it if he asked for help once more?
"I actually was very excited for classes before the first year, and I've always had an easy time in practicals, but well anytime I want to try more in theory I don't know what happens." His words tumbled over each other awkwardly, one part of him eager to get them out as soon as possible, another wanting to hoard it in him, hiding it away from the light where no one could find it.
Remus hummed contemplatively. He knew it wasn't just one reason, but he also knew Harry couldn't just come out and say the main reason for it, he wasn't sure of it, and more than that he wasn't sure if Harry was ready to hear it.
"Would this perhaps have anything to do with your friends?" He asked going with the secondary reason.
"What do you mean?" Harry's head cocked to the side, confusion shining in his emerald eyes as they focused on the gold-eyed werewolf.
"Well, from what I have observed, is very enthusiastic about school work, sometimes way too enthusiastic, whereas your other friend, Mr. Weasley, well, he lacks a certain aptitude for anything remotely academic."
"I guess, I mean at first I did want to do well, but then well Ron was my first friend ever, and when he showed zero interest in school work, I didn't want to do anything to jeopardize that and then we became friends with Hermione she was so into studying it kind of put me off, to be honest..."
Harry trailed off, red staining his face and neck, not believing what he had almost vocalised. How could he! Ron and Hermione were his best friends! He felt ashamed that he had even thoughts of this, much less that he had actually vocalised it.
"Harry. There is nothing wrong with what you have said and what you fell." Remus stated firmly.
"Remus is right pup."Sirius said. "I get that they are your friends, but it is still okay to have differences and to acknowledge them. You don't have to always like or do what your friends do. That is not a real friendship."
It was those conversations that had led to Harry changing from divination to ancient runes. He didn't want to switch out of CoM, he enjoyed it, especially the fact that it was being taught by his very first friend. Harry's thoughts on his life and the drastic changes it had gone through ended just as he reached the house and let himself into a sight he had gotten used to recently.
Astrid was already up, and in the living room practising yoga and forcing Sirius and Remus into it with her. It was supposed to help them both relax and get their minds organized. Harry had to stifle a laugh at the scene in front of him. In the front, Astrid stood with a calm and peaceful look on her face in the tree pose, her hands joined palm to palm high above her head, her right leg folded in half, the bottom of her foot resting against the inner thigh of her left leg. Behind her Sirius and Remus tried to imitate her, failing spectacularly. Sirius seemed to be unable to place his foot higher than his knee, while Remus seemed to be tethering on the edge of falling, his body tilting dangerously. Both had looks of consternation and forced concentration on their faces.
"3,2,1" Harry whispered to himself, observing them and knowing what the next moment would bring. Just as he finished his countdown, Remus's trembling limbs seemed to give up and he crashed into Sirius who in turn fell onto the yoga mat beneath him, being pinned into place by the werewolf on top of him. Sirius shrieked with all of his manly grace, moaning about his precious face and luscious hair. Astrid's placid expression quickly morphed into one of irritation. She swept around, her black hair, gathered in a high ponytail whipped through the air, violet eyes shimmering in anger. She strode over to the two idiots rolling on the floor, pinching their ears and separating them as they let out whines of pain.
"You know, I am genuinely curious as to how many more ways you both could end up in the same position every day." Harry spoke in amusement.
"Harryyyy, I am your godfather! You're supposed to be on my side!"
"But it's so much more fun on the other side." Harry shot back in the same vein.
Sirius gasped dramatically, his hand coming up to cover his heart as he feigned a heart attack. "Betrayal! Betrayal of the most cruel form! From my own godson!"
"Enough padfoot, before I take you to a magizoologist to get you neutered."
A slight smirk appeared on Astrid's face at suitably cowing Sirius into compliance. She signalled Harry to take off his shoes and socks and to join on the mat next to her.
"We're just starting out Harry. Someone" Her glare cut to Remus. "took too long to get up." Remus just grinned unrepentantly.
"You could have begun without me, I would have joined you eventually." The innocent smile on his face would have been more convincing without the devilish glint in his eyes.
"As if, you've never woken up early, especially not for any sort of exercise Moony." Sirius cut in, his mind lacing back to the many, many ways he, Prongs and Worm, he and Prongs had tried to wake up Remus which had resulted in tragic pranks on both of them.
"Hush you." Remus shushed him from where he had taken his position back on his mat. "Come on Padfoot, we're all waiting on you to begin." Sirius gaped at the audacity of the werewolf, his eyes narrowing promising retribution.
"And from the top again!" But first, he had to get through this, or Astrid would kill him.
Harry too, took the form that Astrid demonstrated, a genuine smile on his face, his previous intrusive thoughts chased away by the warmth of his family.