I own nothing, as per usual.

Enjoy guys! It's quite a long one, sorry, not sorry

...

Alec had no idea of the day or time. The blinds in his room had been firmly shut since Magnus had left. He hadn't ordered room service. He hadn't showered. The TV was on, but he had no idea what was showing.

His family had called him to check in. It was nice to hear their voices again and catch up on their lives. Jace was going strong with Clary, Izzy had broken yet another poor guy's heart. His parents were busy with work but had both taken the time to speak to him. His father was gushing over him. Apparently, some of the people he worked with were astonished to find out that Alec was Robert's son – they had teenagers who were big fans of the band and had tickets to their final show back in New York.

Alec lost himself in their words, relishing any form of distraction.

His heart was in pieces. The pain had ebbed to a dull, empty, nothingness. Though, the only person to pick up on his tone was Izzy, who questioned him on why he sounded so boring. He told her it was just tour stuff, unable to explain fully the extent of his torment. She gave him words of encouragement and he wanted to cry. He wanted a hug. He wanted to hold the people he loved close and sob until he couldn't breathe. But those feelings were promptly shoved into a deep, dark, lead-lined coffin in the far reaches of his mind.

When they hung up, he turned back to not paying any attention to whatever movie was playing on the TV screen.

...

Later that day, or maybe the next day, he didn't know which, Simon knocked on his room door. Alec shuffled across the carpet to open it and Simon hissed at the state of Alec. His hair, a bird's nest on top of his head. His eyes raw, puffy and red. His shoulders hunched and his hands shaking. This was not the Alec the band was used to.

"Hey man, you okay?" Simon asked.

Alec just nodded numbly.

"Okay… Well, we're all checking out the pool in a minute if you want to join. No one's seen you since we got here. We thought a chill afternoon of bonding may be in order. Have some fun together as opposed to working our asses off. What do you say?"

Alec just stared at him. Through him. He didn't even know if Simon was really there. What did it matter if he was? Alec couldn't feel anything besides the grey clouds that had drained the colour from his life.

"Alec? What's wrong?" Simon asked, reaching to clasp him on the shoulder.

The physical contact caused Alec's breath to hitch, and he steadied himself as an onslaught of Magnus-related memories threatened to surface. He met Simon's eyes and smiled a sick kind of smile.

"It's nothing. My boyfriend came all the way here just to break up with me. No big deal."

He shrugged Simon's hand off his shoulder and turned his back on him, shutting the door firmly. He dragged himself back to the bed and crawled under the covers, burying himself in the darkness.

...

"Hey guys," Simon said as he wandered into the hot Texas sunshine.

Kirk and Eric were floating in the pool on inflatable dolphins while Tessa and Jem sipped cocktails poolside. They greeted him with smiles but noticed that he had come out alone.

"No Alec, I take it?" Jem asked, his brow furrowed.

"Uh, no. He's not looking too good. But he wasn't having it when I tried to talk to him. I left him to it after he slammed the door in my face."

Simon shrugged and perched on the edge of the pool, dipping his legs into the warm water. He leaned back on his palms and allowed himself to relax. He was rudely interrupted by a shadow stealing the sunlight from his face. He opened his eyes a crack and saw Will standing over him, a hard look in his dark eyes.

"What's wrong with him?" The man said, his voice tight.

Simon gave him a confused look as Will glared impatiently down at him.

"What?" Simon asked.

He looked around, hoping for someone else to jump in and take some of the heat radiating off Will. But the others were all otherwise occupied by now.

"Alec? What's wrong with him?"

Simon shrugged.

"Break-up, I guess. He wasn't too forthcoming with the details."

Will suddenly tensed, his eyes glazing over even darker if that were possible. He stared down at Simon for a second before hastily ripping himself away from the pool, out of the sun and into the cool shade of the hotel. Simon watched after him, wondering why on earth Will was getting worked up over Alec deciding to stay in his room.

...

Alec stared at his phone. Half hoping the thing would ring. Half hoping it would burst into flames.

He threw it across the room in a fit of anger and stormed into the bathroom, gripping the edge of the sink, feeling the cold porcelain pressing into his clammy palms. He hung his head and took several very deep breaths, willing his heart to cease its hammering. He looked up and caught sight of his dishevelled, depraved state. He looked like a demonic version of himself, as if he had spent the last few days roaming the pits of hell. He supposed he had.

He turned on the cold tap and splashed the icy water on his face, sighing when the drops ran in rivulets over his jaw and down his neck. He dragged his hands through his hair and instantly felt refreshed as the cold reached his scalp. He shook out his hair and tore his days-old shirt over his head. He splashed more water over his neck and chest, humming in relief.

He noticed with a pang in his heart that there were little red blossoms all over his chest and up the side of his neck. Parting gifts from his lost love. Temporary reminders of a permanent scar. Alec turned away from the mirror and decided to order some food. He went back into the bedroom and picked up the room service menu. As he did, his room door clicked loudly as the lock disengaged and the door swung open.

As quickly as the piercing line of light streamed in, it vanished. The door slammed shut and the lock reengaged with a loud buzz. Alec stared at the doorway, his eyes zeroing in on a white card clasped in a shaking hand. Someone had got another key card for him room, it seemed.

He let his eyes follow the shape of an arm, drifting until he was looking right into a pair of shining eyes. They reflected what little light was coming from the TV, casting strange shadows to dance over the porcelain skin, midnight hair and red lips of the intruder. The menu fell limp in Alec's hand as he stared, not saying a word. The intruder stepped into the room and tossed the card onto the table. He ran a hand through his hair and met Alec's gaze.

"I heard what happened," he said.

Alec suddenly growled. All his buried pain came out in blind rage. He flew across the room and grabbed Will by the shoulders, slamming him against the wall. Will gasped when his head hit the wall and Alec shoved his forearm against his throat.

"What the fuck did you say to him?!" Alec yelled in his face.

Will was almost afraid. Alec's eyes were red and blazing with an intensity unlike anything he had ever seen. His features were dark, his angel's lips twisted in a snarl.

"I… I didn't mean to. I really… Alec…"

Will tried to talk but Alec was crushing his throat, his eyes were boring into him as if he were trying to blow Will to pieces with only his mind. His body was fire against Will's ice-cold rigidity. He couldn't move. He could only gasp as Alec shoved up against him, there faces a mere whisper from each other.

"Why? Why did you have to say anything? Why couldn't you just leave us alone? You should have just left me alone!"

Alec was panting, trembling, his insides writhing. He couldn't believe Will had gotten between him and Magnus, he couldn't believe that Will had the audacity to ruin the best thing that had ever happened to him.

"Alec, please, let me explain." Will managed to rasp.

Alec glowered, his eyes narrowing as he ever so slightly released some of the pressure on Will throat.

"I told him that I know you the way he knows you," Will said almost silently, wishing Alec didn't have to hear what he had done.

Alec's lips parted and his eyes began to fill with water. In the dim light, they were glowing.

"What?" Alec whispered.

Will clenched his eyes shut and reached up to tear his own hair out in a death grip.

"I know I shouldn't have. It's just… it was Magnus. I saw him and I realised that he was your… that you were his and I lost it. I couldn't stand that the only person I've felt anything for since Tessa was already taken by him. I couldn't cope with that. He was such a big part of my life and then so much shit happened, and everything fell apart, and I had so much pain and confusion and I lost myself and it was his fault! Or my fault! I don't fucking know! I just know that, when I realised that he'd had you in every way that I want you, I broke all over again."

Alec tore himself away from Will, the man sagged against the wall as he released him. The only sound was Will gasps as he stroked his own throat, his chest heaving. Alec stared at him, his own chest rising and falling like the cresting waves of tsunami. His heart slammed against his ribs. Tears streamed from his eyes. His hands clenched into fists.

He knew Magnus and Will had a tumultuous history. Alec had always known that Magnus was the victim of that chapter. Will had imploded his life once before. Now he was doing it again.

But what brought the tears to his eyes, what made his heart splutter and his whole body burn was the fact that Will hadn't lied to Magnus. He didn't need to lie. They had kissed, twice, outside of Valentine's instructions. Alec had flirted back and lead him on. It was all for show, but they were real people, with real feelings that can't always be helped.

God knows, Alec knew a thing or two about falling for someone you shouldn't.

"Alec?" Will whispered.

Alec looked up at him and sighed, harshly wiping the tears from his cheeks.

"I think you should go," Alec said.

Will hung his head and sucked in a sharp breath. Before Alec could react, Will had crossed the space between them and was standing right in front of Alec, holding his gaze with those searing eyes, a fire on the ocean surface.

"I'm so sorry, Alec," he said.

Alec nodded once and squared his jaw.

He understood how Will was feeling. Alec knew how it felt to be completely consumed by feelings for someone. It had happened with Jace. And with Magnus. He hated that he had lost Magnus, he hated that Magnus had let Will get between them so easily. He hated that Magnus had given up without really even letting Alec explain. Will was a poet when it came to words, a magician. His song lyrics were proof enough. But Will also had a unique talent of weaponizing those words, turning them to poison. It wasn't much of a stretch to understand that in Will's emotional state, he had turned those weapons on Magnus in defence of his own heart.

Alec understood the need. Isn't that what he had done, after all? Used his songs, his music, his words to seduce Magnus in the first place? He knew in the beginning that it was wrong, illegal, would crash and burn and could ruin everything for them both. But he had pushed Magnus, convinced him. He had used his words as weapons just as much as Will had. They had both destroyed Magnus with their own selfish desires. Maybe they weren't so different.

"I know," Alec replied, looking down at the man through heavy lidded eyes.

Will gulped and bit his lip. Alec watched the movement and narrowed his eyes further. He knew Magnus liked it when he bit his lip, and seeing someone else do the same thing, Alec understood why. Will looked shy, timid, unsure of himself. Alec knew he was none of those things but the thrill it sent down his spine was not easily ignored.

"I should go," Will said, "again, Alec, I'm sorry. Please forgive me, I'll leave you be, I'll tell Valentine we're not doing this anymore. I'll stay out of your way. If you want, I'll try and talk to Magnus."

Alec stared at him, calculating. Pain was evident on Will's face. He was sorry, genuinely. Alec knew Will always held his feelings close to his chest, but when he felt things, he felt them hard. It was clear in every word of every song he had ever written. Once Will opened those flood gates, they poured forth from his heart, an unstoppable force of nature.

He didn't want to forgive. Will had instigated everything that lead to Magnus walking away. But Alec hadn't stopped him. That kiss in the kitchen that morning, Alec had pulled away, but only after giving as good as he got for longer than he should have. He told Magnus, but not everything. He hadn't told Magnus about the kiss before their last show. He hadn't told Magnus about the little fires that scorched across his skin when Will touched him. He hadn't told Magnus about the intensity when Will threw himself at him.

Magnus was Alec's first everything. But he wasn't the only. Alec was still young; he had a lifetime of bad decisions and heartbreak and pain and longing all still ahead of him. He had only allowed himself to think of Magnus. Maybe he should open himself up to the possibility of something else. Anything else.

"Will," Alec said, reaching out to grab his arm in a tight grasp.

Will stopped mid-turn and looked back at Alec with wide eyes. He was shaking under Alec's touch.

"I don't forgive you. But I don't forgive myself either. And I don't forgive Magnus for leaving so easily."

Will's brow furrowed as he turned back to face Alec.

"Okay," Will whispered.

"I hate all of this. But, if I'm going to drown in pain, I might as well enjoy it."

Will gave Alec a reproachful look, twisting his arm in Alec's hold to grip the boy's forearm.

"What are you saying?" Will asked, not daring to read into Alec's poetry before he heard the whole thing.

Alec locked their gazes, licking his lips.

"You're not good for me. I'm not good for you. I think we've proved that."

Will sighed and nodded, moving to step away again. Knowing Alec most definitely hated him now. But then Alec's grip tightened on his arm, and he was suddenly yanked forwards, crashing into Alec's body. The heat was palpable, Alec's bare chest was heaving against his own.

"You're not going anywhere," Alec whispered into his ear.

Will froze, looking up at Alec. The boy was all fire and danger. His eyes flashed, bright and burning. His hair fell into his eyes, water had left little trails all the way from his head to his waist. Will took the opportunity to roll his eyes slowly down Alec's chest, appreciating him like a priceless piece of art. When he saw the livid red marks of someone else's claim on the boy's body, a growl tore forth from low in his throat. Alec placed a finger under his chin and raised his head until their eyes locked.

"This doesn't mean anything," Alec said, low and rough.

Pain pierced Will's heart. He didn't want it to mean nothing. But he was a glutton for punishment, a masochist of the highest order. He would take whatever he could get, consequences be damned. Just like his soul.

He looked up at Alec and his lips curved into an evil smile. Alec mirrored his expression and an otherworldly thrill shot through Will's entire body. Then Alec grabbed him by the waist, his hands burned a trail up his chest and fixed around his neck. One crept into Will's hair and suddenly their lips collided in a mess of panting, biting, and soul-sucking. It was the most savage kiss of Will's entire life. Within seconds, Alec took him over.

Alec wasn't thinking. He wasn't feeling. He succumbed to sensation alone. Taste, touch, sound, heat. Tangible things he could lose himself in. He threw himself in blind, praying for salvation.

Somewhere amongst the onslaught, a flash of brilliant golden-green eyes pierced the shield he had thrown up in his mind and he began to fall. Into the depths, the shadows, the darkness, the void. He fell and fell. And just kept going.

...

A/N: I know Alec and Will is an odd pairing, but that's kind of the point of this story - falling for someone you know you shouldn't. There will be moments of pain, confusion, longing, lust and anger. But they won't last ;) Thanks for reading x