28 February 2024

Chapter 6: Can't Fight the Moonlight

The day before…

"You want me to do what now?" Ren couldn't help how his voice rose in pitch.

"You heard me," Lory said evenly. "Ruriko's father told me she's feeling isolated. She needs someone to talk to. Someone to help her feel comfortable while she's out in the Commons because she doesn't make friends easily."

And no wonder, Ren thought. Ruriko was selfish at best and outright nasty at worst. But in any case, he was already spending far too much time with her as her 'tutor.' "I already see her Monday through Friday, Lory."

"Great. That means she's getting to know you." Lory grinned and Ren shivered.

"Why, exactly, does she need to get to know me?" Ren asked. "You said I wasn't going to be her tutor forever. You said the goal was to get her to a point where she could pass a basic high school equivalency test. I don't want to be her friend, Lory—"

"Oh?" Lory said, raising his brow. "You, Ren Tsuruga, always-the-gentleman…you don't want to make sure a poor defenseless, lonely girl, just arrived at the Freehold—you don't want to make sure she doesn't feel all friendless and alone?"

"It's not my fault she doesn't have friends," Ren said sullenly. "She's a—"

"Watch what you say, young man," Lory said sharply. "I'm not above washing your mouth out with soap."

Ren glared. "Why are you so insistent on me taking her?" he asked. "Kijima's the fun one."

"Because she already knows you," Lory said. "And Kijima can't be trusted to keep his hands to himself."

"Ha."

"I'd consider it a personal favor to me if you just took her to the movie. I'll owe you one."

"You'd owe me a favor, Lory?" Ren asked.

"Indeed," Lory responded. "I figured you'd like that more than the alternative."

Ren's eyes narrowed. "The alternative?"

Lory nodded. "The alternative."

"What's the alternative?" Ren asked cautiously.

"The alternative is that I re-assign Kyoko to something less…dangerous, shall we say," Lory said. "She's become invaluable to the Freehold, and we could use someone to take care of Operations full-time. Someone else can take her place on the Recon team."

"You wouldn't."

"I would."

"Keeping Matsunai happy is important enough to disrupt Recon's team dynamic like that!?"

"Oh, you guys were fine before you found Kyoko." Lory shook his head. "You'll be fine if she takes on a new posting. And yes, I'd like Matsunai to stay on at least until we get the new project well underway. Otherwise, I think he'd move on somewhere more…entertaining. Akatoki, for example."

Ren winced. Akatoki was a few weeks' ride out on horseback and at least a few days in a diesel vehicle, given the state of the roads. It was too far for the range of their electric vehicles. It was…a different place. The Freehold was proud of its egalitarianism, though Lory functioned, more or less, like a benevolent dictator. But Akatoki…Akatoki was a place where the strong ruled over the weak. Someone like Matsunai could sell his skills and make lots of money…and buy lots of things. Things that Lory would never permit at the Freehold. Flesh, for example. Drugs, for another.

Whatever his reasons were, Lory was forgetting that Kyoko was an entirely independent woman who could move on just as easily as Matsunai.

"Doesn't she get a say in what she wants to do?" Ren said. "She's a born warrior, Lory."

"Of course. Her reassignment would be entirely up to her. But given how she's avoiding you, I imagine she'd welcome it."

"I should call your bluff," Ren said.

"It's certainly your right to take that gamble."

"You do realize that Ruriko's getting the wrong idea about me."

"The fact that you can't define and maintain your own boundaries isn't my problem, Ren," Lory sighed.

"I'm just being polite, and she takes it as something else—"

"Boundaries, Ren, boundaries."

"Speaking of boundaries, then," Ren said, "if I go to this movie with her, I want our tutoring sessions reduced."

"Four times a week, then, instead of five."

"Once a week."

"Twice a week," Lory countered.

"Twice a week, but you never ask me to do anything like this again," Ren said. "Not with Ruriko, not with anyone."

"Fine," Lory said.

=.=.=

He didn't know why Lory was torturing him, but there had to be intent behind this.

Predictably, Ruriko had latched onto him as soon as they met in the Commons. Boundaries, he'd told himself, but what was he going to do? He didn't want to cause a scene by pushing her off of him—they were surrounded by a crowd of people. He made a point of being extremely courteous and polite, responding to Ruriko's inane babbling with bland, monosyllabic answers. It was hard to get a word in edgewise anyway—apparently, she'd seen the movie before and absolutely loved it.

"Oh it's so romantic, Ren," she kept saying. "I've always thought it had the true essence of a fairy tale. Not like one of those later Dajowney movies, where the heroine goes to 'find herself' or something."

He nodded his head and was preparing to function on autopilot when they walked in.

Lory had to have known.

Lory kept his ears to the ground. There was little in the Freehold that escaped his notice—this was just another one of his schemes. Ren was sure of it.

Yes, Lory had to have known that she was coming—and with Hikaru Ishibashi, no less. He clenched his fists. Ishibashi was a nice guy by all accounts. He was conspicuously single, and he was good-looking. If Kyoko had agreed to go out on a date with Ishibashi, Lory would have heard that gossip from a mile away.

Because it was a date. Ren couldn't even comfort himself with the delusion that they were 'just friends' out to watch the movie casually. He kept a bland smile on his face but he could see them clearly from his vantage point. Kyoko had entered the Commons smiling. She was in a dress—a dress! It was the first time he'd ever seen her in a dress. He didn't even know she had one! She was so beautiful and adorable and sexy—he wanted to spirit her away so that no one else in the world would see her like this but him.

Knowing that she'd put on the dress and the smile for someone else was a sucker-punch in the face.

Ren felt his stomach drop as Ishibashi bought some popcorn and handed it to Kyoko.

It got worse from there.

He didn't register any of the movie. How could he, when Kyoko was in front of him with someone else?

He couldn't really see her face from where he was sitting, but he could see how Ishibashi would reach over to grab popcorn from Kyoko's lap. He could see the man turn and smile at whatever she'd just said. He could see how he leaned towards her, how he looked as if he hung onto every word.

Meanwhile, Ren felt like a man in a never-ending free-fall. Ruriko droned on and on, even singing along to portions of the movie.

It didn't matter to him.

All he could see, all he could think of, was Kyoko.

What did you think of the movie, Kyoko? he wanted to ask. What did you think of the princess? Did you enjoy the songs? Is that a new dress? Isn't that Prince Charming a total bore? Wouldn't you want someone who could keep up with you? Why Ishibashi, Kyoko? What's he got that I don't?

When Kyoko and Ishibashi got up immediately at the end of the movie, he got up too.

"Hey!" Ruriko said. "Wait! Don't you want to stay for the end credits?"

He looked at her and shook his head. "Sorry," he said. "Early meeting with Lory tomorrow—"

"He makes you meet on Sundays?" She looked horrified.

Ren shrugged. "He doesn't make me," he answered. "I prefer it. Keeps me busy." He was about to walk away, leaving her to walk separately back home. He knew Lory would yell at him for being 'ungentlemanly,' but sure even Lory knew that she was perfectly safe within the Freehold's walls.

"Walk me home?" she said, batting her eyelashes.

He kept his groan suppressed. If he must, he must.

She took his arm without him offering it. "Can we take the garden path?" she asked. "The moon's out and it's so crowded here."

He must have nodded or said yes or something, because soon she was pulling him along as she made banal conversation.

He would have completed the evening entirely on autopilot until she began singing—an embarrassingly thin, pitchy voice attempting to sound 'cute' like Snow White's voice actor. She somehow failed miserably but succeeded at the same time.

"You seem to have enjoyed the movie very much," he said woodenly.

She launched into a new tirade. "Oh I loved it. Who wouldn't?" she said.

He was sure she kept talking after that. He was even sure he'd managed to respond to her. But whatever equanimity he'd found was blown apart the instant they turned the corner. There, in the moonlight, was Kyoko Mogami, walking in a fragrant summer garden, arm-in-arm with her date.

He was staring at her and he didn't care who saw. Look at me. Turn around and look at me, he wanted to shout, but he didn't. He willed her to turn around and see him with all his might—turn around and see the longing in his eyes and the loneliness of the past weeks.

"It's my dream to be princess-carried away by some big, strong, handsome man. Isn't it every woman's?"

The absurdity of the statement forced him to turn his attention back to Ruriko. He'd princess-carried Kyoko on the day they met, and he hadn't wanted to let go. But Kyoko had hissed like a scalded cat in his arms. She'd startled and then tensed, her body bracing for fight-or-flight in reflex. When she finally relaxed and accepted his carry for what it was, he'd breathed a sigh of relief. But she'd wanted to fly out of his arms as soon as she could. "You'd be surprised. I'm pretty sure some women wouldn't like it," he told her.

Ruriko scoffed, and said something…but it all faded into the background again.

Because Kyoko did turn, and their eyes met. The world ground to a halt, he knew it must have done the same for her too. I want you, his eyes told her. I miss you. You belong with me. Why are you with him? Her returning gaze was clear and sad and…angry? Angry, and perhaps disappointed. Before he could ponder why, though, Ruriko's voice cut across the evening garden with all the charm of a caterwauling cat.

"Oh look, isn't that what's-her-face?" he heard Ruriko ask.

And just like that, their moment ended. Popped like a soap bubble in the sun.

He saw Kyoko's eyes shutter as her soul closed to him, and just right then, he wanted nothing more than to strangle Ruriko Matsunai and bury her under the potato patch.

It happened so quickly.

Kyoko broke their gaze and turned away, looking back at Hikaru and giving him a smile he would kill to receive. He couldn't hear what she was saying but he saw Hikaru's eyes widen in surprise—surprise which turned to shock when Kyoko leaned over to kiss his cheek.

She…kissed…him.

SHE KISSED HIM.

Shock. He forgot to breathe for a second. It didn't matter that it was a cheek-kiss. He had to acknowledge it, now. He'd clung to the hope that perhaps this first date wouldn't go anywhere, that Kyoko truly did return his affections. But after seeing her kiss Hikaru—well, what else could a kiss-under-the-moonlight mean!? Kyoko and Hikaru were going to date—they were going to be a thing—he would see her with him again and again and again, and if Hikaru cared for her at all, he'd see that he could never let her go. Ren gulped as his mind's eye showed him a horror film—one featuring Kyoko and Hikaru's life at the Freehold, happily-ever-after. This was so much worse than taking a punch to his gut. It was like drowning—like being pinioned by a thousand needles—like burning slowly at the stake. It was unreal.

When Kyoko pulled away from Hikaru, she did not look back at him. She spared him not a single glance. He watched her walk away without a hint of hesitation, as if he didn't exist. Or worse—as if he didn't matter at all.

"Ha," Ruriko said beside him. "You know, I didn't take Mogami to be that kind of girl," she smirked.

"I don't know what you're implying," Ren said darkly, "but Mogami is my teammate and my friend."

Ruriko giggled. "Relax," she said. "Not like I'm going to go around the Freehold telling everyone that Mogami and Hikaru Ishibashi were making out in the garden tonight—"

"Ruriko—"

"It was such a romantic kiss," she said, "even if it was just to the cheek."

He didn't like the tone of her voice. There was pettiness and malice in it, though he didn't know what Ruriko could possibly have on Kyoko.

He liked it even less when she leaned against him, supporting herself on his arm as she rose up on tippy-toes.

He flinched and pulled his arm away from her, taking four steps backwards and forcibly putting distance between them.

He'd had enough.

"Stop, Ruriko."

"But—"

"Stop," he said. "Just stop."

She stopped, finally, sitting down on a nearby bench. "Fine," she sulked. "Whatever."

"I should have done this earlier," he told her. "So part of the blame lies with me."

"Done what?" Ruriko said.

He sighed. "You are the student I tutor," he said. "And I tutor you because I was ordered to. Nothing more, nothing less."

A furrow deepened between her brows. "Yeah?"

"This flirting," Ren continued. "Taking my arm? Please stop that."

She had the good grace to blush. "But—"

"You are a very nice young woman," Ren said, not entirely caring whether or not he was hurting her feelings, "but I do not wish to pursue any kind of relationship with you—"

"FINE!" Ruriko yelled. "Not like I'm interested in some boring freak like you anyway." She got up off the bench. "YOU'RE the one that offered to take me to the movie, Ren. YOU'RE the one that wants to extend those sessions when I don't get how to do the problems. You've been the one leading me on!"

"I have not," he said. "You've been invading my personal space repeatedly. On your own. That's why we're having this conversation."

She rolled her eyes at him and started walking towards the Commons. "I'm out," Ruriko said. "Don't try and walk me home."

He hadn't been planning on it, anyway.

=.=.=

"What?"

Yashiro leaned against his door, looking at Ren with some sympathy. He knew that Ren would be out with Ruriko that evening and had figured Ren would stop by to vent afterwards. But he hadn't expected a thoroughly forlorn, thoroughly distressed, nearly incoherent Ren frantically knocking on his door.

Ren was sitting down on a chair, head in his hands. "She was out on a date with Hikaru Ishibashi, of all people, and then she kissed him—"

"She did not."

"She did!" He ran his fingers through his hair, pulling at it. "She was dressed up—you know, in a dress—"

"Huh."

"I didn't even know she had a dress! Oh god, Yashiro, she had her hair all…I don't know, styled? And she was wearing makeup." He groaned. "And you know what? The entire time she's kissing him and I'm watching and it's killing me but I can't help but think 'Oh, but she's so fucking beautiful.' Especially in the moonlight."

"You, my friend, have got it bad," Yashiro said. He looked at the lump on his chair. Who could ever have imagined the redoubtable Recon lead like this?

"I thought that was obvious."

"Maybe it was obvious." Yashiro gave a gentle laugh. "But you never admitted it out loud. I thought you'd finally make a move after that last mission, but you didn't."

"She told Kotonami she wasn't interested in me. In anyone. Kijima and I walked in on them right after they'd finished sparring. And then she avoided me for weeks," Ren said. "But I kept hoping. I thought she had feelings—" His voice broke as his shoulders slumped further.

"You know, I kinda thought so too."

"You did?"

"I did. I could've sworn she had feelings for you. She's quite good at hiding her emotions. But."

"But?"

"Ren…when that Walker jumped on you, I saw her face. You can't fake that look."

Ren sat miserably. "Well, maybe she felt the same, maybe she didn't," he said. "But it's clear she doesn't care at all now. When she looked at me—"

"Wait, she saw you?!"

"She looked at me right before she kissed him—"

"WHAT?!"

"Just for a second. I was with Ruriko and we were turning that corner on the garden path, and I saw her." He sighed. "I don't know. She seemed…kinda angry…"

Yashiro pondered for a moment as Ren looked down at the floor. The dormitories had been built out of brick and wood—the brick from a stash made pre-Zero and the wood hewn by hand from the nearby forests.

The perfect platform for a small breakdown, Ren thought.

"Ren," Yashiro said. "She looked…angry? At you?"

"Yes. And she looked…almost disappointed at me," he mumbled.

"Wait," Yashiro said. "Let's…go over this again. You ran into her and Ishibashi on the garden path."

"She was holding his arm," Ren said. "Yashiro, what's the point!? She kissed him!"

"What were you doing on the garden path?" Yashiro asked. "It's a little out of your way to come back here."

"Ruriko insisted I walk her back," Ren said. "She wanted to take the garden path."

"So you were with Ruriko when you ran into Kyoko?"

"Yes," Ren replied. "Unfortunately. She was stuck on my arm like some kind of fungal growth. And singing." He sighed again. "Kyoko must've heard her coming."

Silence.

Ren looked up at Yashiro, who was grinning. "That…seems like a fairly important detail," Yashiro said.

"What's that got to do with anything?" he asked.

Yashiro shook his head. "You're hopeless," he said. "You look like an absolute ladykiller, but you're absolutely hopeless. You've never actually dated anyone, have you?"

"Please, spare me the roasting, Yashiro."

"So when you and Kyoko saw each other, she was…"

"Walking arm-in-arm with Ishibashi, yes," Ren huffed.

"But you were also walking arm-in-arm with Ruriko."

"It's not like I wanted to be walking with her!"

"But you were."

"Tell me what you're trying to say," Ren said, frustrated.

Yashiro put a comforting hand on his shoulder. "Kyoko wasn't angry," he said. "She was jealous."

"Jealous?!" Ren echoed. "Of what?!"

"Of Ruriko, of course. Of your time."

"How do you know that!?" Ren felt a wisp of hope rise up inside him. He clung to it for dear life.

"I don't," Yashiro said. "That's just my theory."

Ren deflated. "Don't get my hopes up," he said.

"I'm not." Yashiro pushed his glasses up his nose as he looked at Ren thoughtfully. "But it's a definite possibility. And if I'm wrong, then at least you'll know for sure that she doesn't feel that way about you. You need to figure it out."

"How the hell am I supposed to do that!?"

"Talk to her."

"She won't see me."

"She'll see you at practice on Monday," Yashiro said.

"You want me to ask her in front of you and Kijima!? What am I supposed to say!? 'Hi Kyoko, I'm in love with you; I saw you kiss some guy but are you in love with me too!?'" He threw up his hands in frustration.

Yashiro gave him a sidelong glance. "Yeah, basically," he said.

Ren let out a sound halfway between a strangled groan and desperate laughter.

"I think Kijima and I are gonna have some bad chili Sunday night. You know. Food poisoning. Gonna be impossible for us to come to practice, unfortunately. You and Kyoko are just going to have to go without us."

Yashiro paused to let the thought sink in and then grinned again as Ren sat up, bolt-upright and eyes wide.

Monday couldn't come fast enough.

=.=.=

Author's Note: Hi everyone! Yes, I'm still working on the upcoming DoK chapter. It's just that this fic is...so much easier to write right now. So please forgive me! And in any case, please let me know what you think. And yea, chapter title is off of the LeAnn Rimes song of the same name. Iunno, it was stuck in my head for some reason.

Parkerbear
February 28, 2024