Sam had once again stopped sleeping. He didn't have another choice, Crowley would be texting them with Lucifer's location any minute now, and then this whole nightmare would be over. He worried that with the way that he was feeling, if he saw Lucifer, even if it was in his dreams, he would warn the devil about their plan with the Colt. Sam had delayed telling Dean the truth about his dreams and connection to Lucifer. Everyday he told himself that he would tell Dean the truth, but when the moment came, he always let it pass, promising himself that tomorrow would be the day. In truth, he didn't know how to make Dean understand his attachment to the devil, when he didn't understand it himself. He hated Lucifer, but he also felt connected him and the thought of losing that connection was more then he could bare. If Dean found out the truth now, he would bench him, and they were so close to ending this nightmare.
On the morning of his sixth day without sleep, Crowley, let them know that Lucifer would be at Carthage Missouri and that he was planning on raising the horsemen of death at midnight.
"Sam, maybe you should stay here and get some sleep," Dean stated as he walked into the living room. He was worried about Sammy. There were dark circles under his brother's eyes. He said it was nightmares about clowns, but Dean knew that something else was bothering his baby brother. Dean had never seen him like this, his emotions were all over the place, one minute, Sam was angry, shouting that the devil had to die, the next minute…well, sometimes, it seemed like his brother was depressed. Sometimes, Dean thought, maybe his brother had feelings for the devil, but that couldn't be it. Sam, could never fall for a monster like that, could he? But then Dean remembered that Sammy had fallen for Ruby and the demon bitch had used that to get his brother addicted to demon blood. Was his brother still addicted? Is that why he had stopped taking care of himself? His brother wouldn't even bother to eat if Dean, didn't practically force food down his throat three times a day.
"I'm fine," Sam stated.
"Sammy, it's been six days," Dean stated to say.
"I said I'm fine. When the devil is out of our lives then I'll sleep for a whole week, but you're not going to bench me when we are this close," Sam snapped. "Besides, you'll need me to distract him so you can get close," Sam argued.
The kid had a point, having him there was crucial. Crowley had made a point of telling them how obsessed Satan was with Sam. Lucifer would make mistakes if he let his guard down, if he was so focused on his brother that he wouldn't see him coming.
"Fine, you can come, but afterwards, you're getting your rest, whether you like it or not, even if I have to have Cas place you in a coma," Dean grumbled as he grabbed his keys and headed to the garage.
XOXOXO
Sam could see Lucifer digging up on the hill, the townspeople standing around him, most likely possessed with demons.
"I guess we know what happened to the townspeople," Dean stated.
"Any last words?" Sam asked.
"No, I'm good, I just want to get this over with," Dean stated.
"Yeah, me too," Sam said.
"Hey, you wanted to see me," Sam shouted as he held onto his shotgun as he made his way through the demons, and made his presence known to Lucifer.
"Sammy, you don't need that gun here. You know that I could never hurt you, not really," Lucifer said almost pleading with him to see that he was no threat. There were pockmarks, almost like Cigarette burns on his face.
"Yeah, well, I'll hurt you," Dean said, pointing the colt to Lucifer's forehead and pulling the trigger.
Sam winced with the sound of the gun. He felt sick, guilty for having betrayed his other half, tears were flooding his eyes and then relief as Lucifer got back up. He looked at Sam, pain reflected in his eyes.
"Where did you get that?" Lucifer asked and then he pushed Dean away from him.
"Don't feel too bad Sam, there's only five things in all of creation, that gun can't kill and I just happen to be one of them," Lucifer said as he turned back towards Sam. "Give me a moment, I'm almost done," Lucifer said and then went back to shoveling up dirt from the giant hole.
Sam ran to his brother who was slumped against the tree. He had a gash and some bruising on his forehead, but although unconscious, his pulse seemed steady.
"I don't suppose that you would just say yes, here and now and end this tiring discussion," Lucifer said.
"That's never going to happen," Sam shouted.
"I don't know Sam, I think it will. I think that it will happen in Detroit, six months from now," the Devil said and then smiled at Sam as if he knew a secret that only the two of them knew.
"You listen to me, you son of a bitch. I will kill you myself. I will tear your heart out," Sam shouted, letting the anger consume his thoughts. He held onto the anger, like a life jacket, hoping that it would be enough to keep him from drowning in these other feelings that he didn't want to feel."
"You hold onto that anger Sammy, if that makes you feel better. I'm going to need it and I certainly can use it," Lucifer stated.
"What did you do to this town?" Sam asked as he looked around at the different townspeople.
"I was really generous, one demon for every man," Lucifer explained.
"And the rest of them?"
"In there," Lucifer said indicating the hole in the ground.
Sam felt disgusted, how could he feel connected to a viscous monster who would slaughter a whole town."
"I know it's awful," Lucifer said as if he was reading Sam's thoughts, "but these horseman can be so demanding."
"I know what you must think of me Sammy, but I have to do this. You of all people must understand."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"I was a son. A younger brother, like you, and like you, I had an older brother that I idolized and loved. One day I went to him and I begged him to stand with me, but Michael turned on me, called me a freak, a monster and then he beat me down because I had a mind of my own. Tell me something Sam, any of this sound familiar?" Lucifer asked as he looked towards Dean who was just waking back up.
Sam flinched as he remembered Dean calling him a freak, telling him that if he didn't know him then he would want to hunt him. Sam hated it, but Lucifer was right, he knew how it felt, to have the brother that you love more than anything to call you a freak and a monster. Isn't that why he couldn't bring himself to tell Dean that he had been seeing the devil in his dreams ever since he had released him? "You don't know anything about my relationship to Dean," Sam said defensively.
"Sam, let's just go," Dean pleaded.
"I know enough. I know that you would rather kill yourself by not eating, by not sleeping to avoid seeing me in your dreams, then to tell Dean the truth, then to admit to him and to yourself that you feel connected to me, that you felt relieved that your little plan to kill me with the Colt was unsuccessful," Lucifer stated.
"What? Is he telling the truth Sam? Have your nightmares been about him this whole time," Dean asked.
"I'm sorry Dean…I just…I don't want to feel this way. I hate him and I want him dead, but I…but there's another part of me that can't lose him," Sam whispered as the tears he had been holding back slid down his face.
"Sammy," Dean and Lucifer cried out as Sam went unconscious and started to have a seizure.
Lucifer snapped his fingers and he was next to his side.
"Don't touch him," Dean snarled as Lucifer reached to touch Sam's forehead.
"I can help," Lucifer whispered in a small pleading voice.
"You've helped enough by torturing my brother for months and months, maybe even years. If you want to help then leave him alone. Cas, Sam is hurt, I need you," Dean prayed.
Castiel was suddenly by Dean and Sam's side.
"Lucifer, what have you done?" Cas asked in a protective growl.
"Just help him brother," Lucifer pleaded.
Cas placed his hand on Sam's forehead and Sam stopped seizing. Cas's wings unfurled and then they were home, leaving Lucifer behind.
"Cas, speak to me, how is he?" Dean asked.
"Sam is very sick. The sleep deprivation caused his organ's to start shutting down. I healed what I could, the rest is up to Sam, we need to let him rest now," Cas explained as he brushed the hair out of his eyes.